Ep. 255: "The Fancy-Enough Window"
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hello hi John
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hi Merlyn how's it going good hmm yeah I
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I made some eye I made some stunning
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coffee today
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Wow tell me about it well coffee around
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here has been kind of kind of not that
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good lately I've just been sort of just
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phoning it in you haven't been doing as
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much public speaking at appearances no I
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just mean you have been getting gift
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bags with free coffee in it right hmm
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yeah but I've lately I've gone ahead and
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just bought coffee
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oh that's all yeah I know it's a bit to
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hurt but I thought like that yeah but uh
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but I haven't just been you know like I
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use a coffee pot I don't know there's
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nothing fancy about me I'm not you know
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I don't think I'm better than you but
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I've just not even been using the coffee
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pot very very well I've just been sort
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of pouring some coffee in do you have a
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mr. coffee style drip coffee maker
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that's right mm-hmm how much do you make
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when you make coffee
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I always make an entire pot is that
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other convenience for knowing the
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measurements or is that like an
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aspirational pot I figure well it's it's
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partly make all the bacon mm-hmm
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we got to write an e-book at some point
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Oh big Gulf bacon man
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I always make all the bacon make all the
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column I'll save these two strips for
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that day that's definitely coming in the
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next day or two or I want to make
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exactly two strips of bacon yeah or like
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sometimes people will stay over at the
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house and I'll come downstairs in the
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morning and they will have made enough
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coffee for us both uh-huh I'm like what
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you don't know what's gonna happen the
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rest of this day what it's a power goes
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out where exactly what the fuck enough
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coffee it's it's another version of
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packing a small bag which will
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definitely be in our ebook or like you
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know for me I know you're a fan of
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noodles you you know you got me I used
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to be a whenever I'd make steak I would
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often make rice I still sometimes make
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rice you
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you got me into I remember one day I
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said hey we're making steaks and you
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really yeah steaks and I made steaks and
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I served the steaks with some probably
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some wild rice and he said no noodles
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noodles and but you know I see you in
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the noodles mistake I gotta tell ya I
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have come around egg noodle with steak a
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delight the fatter the egg noodle the
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wider the egg noodle the bed of the
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steak so I get him why'd I get him why
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but here's the thing sometimes don't
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think cuz you know I got a kid she eats
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a lot of pasta products and I'll gonna
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put some noodles in there here's the
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amount of noodles to make if you've got
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a bag a regular grocery store bag of
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noodles you either make hardly any or
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all of them yep cuz nobody wants a
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quarter of a bag of egg noodles that
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will never come in handy he'll let me
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put a rubber band right let me let me
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spend 25 cents on the ziplock bag for
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this make all the noodles mm-hmm make
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all the bacon pennies talking about
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pennies yeah make all like an entire pot
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of coffee every every time you make
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coffee make an entire pot and leave it
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either sitting on the counter until it's
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done or if you're going away on a trip
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for more than three days go ahead and
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put it in the fridge but also like make
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like make all the like a you know my
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daughter's mother does a thing where she
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will make some food serve it and then
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keep some in reserve which i think is
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great always keep a little bit in
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reserve always keep you know two cups
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back in the pot I mean of the produced
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product or of the source material of the
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produced product example well what's
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your what you're thinking about in this
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context is seconds or leftovers okay
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mm-hmm if you get to the point in the
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meal where you're like I couldn't eat
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another bite then you've got a super
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nice little lunch II sized leftover
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throwing a throwing you're throwing your
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snap top refrigerator glass uh-huh it's
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not enough for like a big meal but when
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you're when you're poking around
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the fridge one o'clock in the afternoon
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you're like ah all I want is an apple
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really but then you're like oh look at
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this mm-hmm look up look up ups of this
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good stuff or you get done and you're
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like I just want some more and you go
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all right I got more cops said you kept
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some in reserve kept some in reserves so
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there's that on this once - Oh Stu you
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can always use a little more Stu well
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and you can always throw anything in Stu
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that's called us to routinely I make
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stew which is just all the stuff that I
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don't want and wouldn't eat otherwise
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kind of Pacific northwestern goulash
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little bit every culture has a goulash
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they do and it's one of the it's one of
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the words that everyone understands even
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if you go to Outer Mongolia you're gonna
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find you're gonna say goulash and
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they're gonna go oh yeah okay Peleg oh
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yeah always at least around here has one
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freezer burn chicken breast in it it
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might have even one piece of fish that I
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don't remember how it came here and I
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don't know how to cook fish that never
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survives my freezer cleanouts
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my sanity saving freezer clean outs that
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I occasionally do Trader Joe's packaged
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so the portion is very modest it's way
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too much for one person who doesn't care
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that much tougher tilapia and it's it's
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not even nearly enough for three people
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who are not into tilapia it's there's no
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good amount of tilapia you throw it away
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you know tilapia is the only fish that
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can survive in the Salton Sea I did not
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know that Salton Sea has become so
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polluted with the chemical runoff and
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just like pure heavy metals that rise up
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from the bottom of the earth it killed
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everything if you go to the Salton Sea
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the banks of the sea which is an
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enormous sea still are I mean the
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beaches are made out of dead and
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decaying fish it's oh my god
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these fluids are horrible kupaka well
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this is very upsetting
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yeah you can't baby around this enormous
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see that you can barely see it across to
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the other side without like crunching on
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a thousand years worth of dead fish what
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apparently mmm
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tilapia thrive in that environment and
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there are billions of them and did for
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them yeah right it could cause me to
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have new respect for tilapia of fish I
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might add I had never heard of until 12
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years ago it's whenever garbage foods
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that comes along every few years and
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they say well today's gonna be the hand
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caught tilapia certainly tilapia is
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everywhere my sense of it was that after
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the fishing collapsed off the Grand
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Banks after we had absolutely over
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fished to the point that the fish stock
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could no longer survive that we had
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caught so many fish they couldn't breed
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with each other anymore
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uh-huh and the fish went away in the
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North Atlantic where formerly we've
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gotten all of our fish you get all your
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you get your caught up there right it's
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your card you get your other fish that
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you don't think about that much until
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somebody names them and you're like oh
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yeah that's a fish that's definitely a
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fish all those fish up there and the big
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big big fish the fish that have lived
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600 years and and and can like use just
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a tiny little punching motion to break
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their way out of a coffin
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those fish smart fish all gone and then
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all of a sudden tilapia a garbage fish
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that can live in a polluted desert lake
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suddenly that's on all the menus and
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suddenly you can buy that by the bag and
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I'm like hmm where all these tilapia
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coming from I literally never heard of
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this fish this is this is a very quick
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derail here but but you enjoy fish like
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if somebody makes it for you he makes me
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a fish I will love it I think we can I
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think you're the thin end of this wedge
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for you and I don't want to make work
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for you as you know I think what you do
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is you go somewhere real nice I hear
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they have fresh fish in Seattle this is
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something that I figure and I don't know
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if you get this but I think you should
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get something like Gaya what's that
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fancy one I like not haddock but oh I
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just hadn't the name in my head what's
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the one grouper good if you get a good a
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grouper or similar
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get a real meaty heavy fish fresh as
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possible and come home and prepare that
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with some butter
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I think that's gonna remind you that
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fish can be good so I did the other day
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so I did buy an aspirational bag of
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Trader Joe's tilapia fillets my god
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never eaten any of those it's as big as
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a sack of flour and add every time I
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open the refrigerator I'm like it's like
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playing a bill on the fridge that you
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know you should also you should join a
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gym like back in the 70s you put a pig
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on your refrigerator to remind you're on
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your diet yeah right likes you asshole
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it's just like open the fridge and it's
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just an alarm of all the serve you and
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you put something in there you know it's
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just gonna make you feel bad
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so I said self mmm let's go let's go big
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shot this is easy to buy and let's get
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you know let's jump in here so I took
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out what I thought was a reasonable
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amount of these tilapias question are
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they in a like a block or were they say
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flash-frozen such that you could pull
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one out like with a chicken breast
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flash-frozen like a chicken brandeis and
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I think I threw four of them yeah
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they're small threw them into a pan with
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some oil or butter I don't remember
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which threw some salt and pepper on them
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cooked them until they appeared to be
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done ish and item that with some rice
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rice saying hmm and and I was like not
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bad not good not bad so the next time I
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made a za terranes
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mmm rice in a box new orleans-style
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you make the rice in a box msg PI I'm a
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huge fan of the saturate oh brother I
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don't know look I got a whole
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methodology with this man 3 sausage
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buddy oh they're really good Jesse oh
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I'm very happy to hear this I thought I
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was I have been our mutual friend John
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siracusa has made fun of me because
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eat a lot of Zadar and rice with things
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in it no no no they're great and and
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it's another way to make stew right you
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can just throw anything into is that
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Naren swords that does he say you know
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it's great in there I just give you a
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quick tip if you got him I don't know if
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you got him I I live in a house with
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people so we have cherry tomatoes
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sometimes or those little baby tomatoes
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oh you put a bunch of those on top I
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don't have those no do you like that no
[TS]
00:11:31
◼
►
but I do
[TS]
00:11:32
◼
►
oh wait a minute but one time I did have
[TS]
00:11:34
◼
►
a can a mysterious can of cherry
[TS]
00:11:37
◼
►
tomatoes I can of cherry tomatoes thing
[TS]
00:11:39
◼
►
I never would have purchased in my life
[TS]
00:11:41
◼
►
I have no idea Paul Sabourin brought it
[TS]
00:11:43
◼
►
here sign up no idea how it got in my
[TS]
00:11:45
◼
►
school and I did put it into his at
[TS]
00:11:48
◼
►
terrains
[TS]
00:11:49
◼
►
it adds the Missal aspect does it make
[TS]
00:11:53
◼
►
you sad I ran say no when it comes out
[TS]
00:11:54
◼
►
you you know a little bit of salt can be
[TS]
00:11:55
◼
►
nice I like to put a little crystal
[TS]
00:11:57
◼
►
sauce in when it's cooking
[TS]
00:11:58
◼
►
I'm just here I'll tell you once you I
[TS]
00:11:59
◼
►
got it I've actually done an entire
[TS]
00:12:01
◼
►
podcast about this I'm going to keep
[TS]
00:12:02
◼
►
this short but when it's done without
[TS]
00:12:04
◼
►
the boiling point right before you turn
[TS]
00:12:06
◼
►
down the heat on your side arounds
[TS]
00:12:07
◼
►
that's when you throw in a handful and a
[TS]
00:12:09
◼
►
half of cherry tomatoes and even if you
[TS]
00:12:11
◼
►
don't like tomatoes you're gonna
[TS]
00:12:12
◼
►
discover this adds the x-factor you do
[TS]
00:12:15
◼
►
know that it suggests it right on the
[TS]
00:12:17
◼
►
box as a surface tchen all right all
[TS]
00:12:19
◼
►
right okay okay I think I'm feeling it
[TS]
00:12:21
◼
►
I'm feeling it now cuz they get big they
[TS]
00:12:23
◼
►
must down oh they sure do they'll break
[TS]
00:12:26
◼
►
up it's I I think it has the the it's
[TS]
00:12:28
◼
►
one of the rare terrible foods that my
[TS]
00:12:31
◼
►
wife and I both like to have once a week
[TS]
00:12:32
◼
►
okay well here's life hack number 70,000
[TS]
00:12:35
◼
►
hmm throw a couple of tilapias tilapia
[TS]
00:12:40
◼
►
in the SATA Rance
[TS]
00:12:41
◼
►
yeah and they just you talking about
[TS]
00:12:44
◼
►
leftovers here
[TS]
00:12:45
◼
►
no I'm saying go into your freezer bag
[TS]
00:12:49
◼
►
yeah and then the tilapia goes in and
[TS]
00:12:52
◼
►
then it gets you know it it becomes it's
[TS]
00:12:56
◼
►
not it doesn't disappear it's not like
[TS]
00:12:57
◼
►
tuna it chunks up and then you've got
[TS]
00:13:01
◼
►
what is almost let's call it a like a
[TS]
00:13:07
◼
►
fish stew or Coast copia call what's
[TS]
00:13:12
◼
►
called cioppino cioppino you know you
[TS]
00:13:18
◼
►
can go in there maybe grab a handful of
[TS]
00:13:20
◼
►
those little throw
[TS]
00:13:21
◼
►
shrimp stew oh and then you put some
[TS]
00:13:23
◼
►
shrimps now you know I've hacked 70
[TS]
00:13:26
◼
►
thousand and fifty you know you throw
[TS]
00:13:27
◼
►
them in when they're frozen they're
[TS]
00:13:28
◼
►
gonna cook they're gonna cook right up
[TS]
00:13:30
◼
►
and they're not gonna overcook and get
[TS]
00:13:31
◼
►
all rubbery like a like a shrimp will do
[TS]
00:13:33
◼
►
who is the fuckin sophisticate no no you
[TS]
00:13:35
◼
►
are you're you're Johnny cioppino you're
[TS]
00:13:38
◼
►
mister making fish do it other people
[TS]
00:13:42
◼
►
are doing that the you know right now
[TS]
00:13:43
◼
►
how many people right now are making
[TS]
00:13:44
◼
►
fish doing home not many they're out
[TS]
00:13:46
◼
►
there making apps they're making apps or
[TS]
00:13:48
◼
►
they're making stomach and deluxe
[TS]
00:13:50
◼
►
hamburgers you know like super
[TS]
00:13:52
◼
►
hamburgers but I went to a beach party
[TS]
00:13:55
◼
►
yesterday and and the the cook the
[TS]
00:14:02
◼
►
barbecue was making hamburgers with
[TS]
00:14:04
◼
►
chopped onions in the burger scrunched
[TS]
00:14:08
◼
►
in the burger I've done that that's ham
[TS]
00:14:10
◼
►
first you saute the onions first and
[TS]
00:14:13
◼
►
then put Hanes and butter first so
[TS]
00:14:15
◼
►
they're real soft and he kind of small
[TS]
00:14:17
◼
►
enough so your daughter can't see them
[TS]
00:14:18
◼
►
and then they're in the burger and they
[TS]
00:14:20
◼
►
provide flavor without objection flavor
[TS]
00:14:23
◼
►
without objection let me ask you this
[TS]
00:14:24
◼
►
about the burger was it this is a
[TS]
00:14:26
◼
►
leading question so FRA forgive the
[TS]
00:14:27
◼
►
witness for considering this hostel it
[TS]
00:14:29
◼
►
was it a normal sized human burger every
[TS]
00:14:32
◼
►
one of those abominations this
[TS]
00:14:33
◼
►
deliberately made way too big because
[TS]
00:14:35
◼
►
men I would put this burger right in the
[TS]
00:14:40
◼
►
sweet spot between those two sides
[TS]
00:14:42
◼
►
that's a good spot when I walked over to
[TS]
00:14:44
◼
►
the barbecue I was like mmm nice big fat
[TS]
00:14:46
◼
►
burgers but I didn't say ah ya asshole
[TS]
00:14:50
◼
►
and then when it went on the bun it was
[TS]
00:14:53
◼
►
like right this is your girl goatee
[TS]
00:14:55
◼
►
you'll make those burgers whether you
[TS]
00:14:56
◼
►
want to or not you won't even notice
[TS]
00:14:58
◼
►
it'll be like Westworld you get I can't
[TS]
00:14:59
◼
►
see anything
[TS]
00:14:59
◼
►
you're too big you're not impressing
[TS]
00:15:01
◼
►
anybody that burned on the outside there
[TS]
00:15:03
◼
►
on the middle and they're too big to put
[TS]
00:15:04
◼
►
into human mouth yeah no I die I
[TS]
00:15:06
◼
►
wouldn't support that and my friend who
[TS]
00:15:08
◼
►
is throwing this party is not he's not
[TS]
00:15:10
◼
►
that kind of guy although he did
[TS]
00:15:12
◼
►
introduce me to the Yeti bag the Yeti
[TS]
00:15:18
◼
►
bag I know the any microphone I don't
[TS]
00:15:19
◼
►
know the Yeti bag Yeti bag is apparently
[TS]
00:15:23
◼
►
something I was not I've heard about
[TS]
00:15:25
◼
►
this it's very high-end right
[TS]
00:15:27
◼
►
I was zero aware of it yesterday and
[TS]
00:15:29
◼
►
then I became 100% aware of it somebody
[TS]
00:15:32
◼
►
is on a camping trip
[TS]
00:15:34
◼
►
i sat in the tent on my phone looking at
[TS]
00:15:35
◼
►
these for an hour these are so cool well
[TS]
00:15:38
◼
►
so at this beach party it's uh you know
[TS]
00:15:41
◼
►
this is a beach party that's behind a
[TS]
00:15:43
◼
►
door right so so it's not you know it's
[TS]
00:15:47
◼
►
not exactly like it's not the 1% but
[TS]
00:15:50
◼
►
it's not the 99% it's somewhere in the
[TS]
00:15:53
◼
►
10% range to 12% area where where people
[TS]
00:16:02
◼
►
can have a beach that is behind the door
[TS]
00:16:05
◼
►
and my friend told this story about like
[TS]
00:16:10
◼
►
I ordered this yeah i ordered this yeti
[TS]
00:16:11
◼
►
bag online because it was you know like
[TS]
00:16:14
◼
►
$50 cheaper then because they're
[TS]
00:16:16
◼
►
expensive was cheaper than they would be
[TS]
00:16:19
◼
►
elsewhere and i was like that's why you
[TS]
00:16:21
◼
►
get things online and he said but i feel
[TS]
00:16:23
◼
►
like it just came from some like post
[TS]
00:16:26
◼
►
office box in alabama I feel like these
[TS]
00:16:28
◼
►
things got I got heisted from a from a
[TS]
00:16:32
◼
►
Cabela's watch that on the Amazon you
[TS]
00:16:34
◼
►
got to watch because sometimes you'll
[TS]
00:16:35
◼
►
get you get stuff it's you get like a
[TS]
00:16:36
◼
►
used cooler or like a aftermarket eBay
[TS]
00:16:39
◼
►
stock cooler well and so he's I mean
[TS]
00:16:42
◼
►
these were new right but it but
[TS]
00:16:44
◼
►
definitely felt like somebody in the
[TS]
00:16:46
◼
►
middle of nowhere just sending these
[TS]
00:16:47
◼
►
things out mannequins yeah a little
[TS]
00:16:50
◼
►
shenanigan but the thing arrived and my
[TS]
00:16:53
◼
►
friend apparently the trick about a Yeti
[TS]
00:16:55
◼
►
bag is when you zip it you zip it and
[TS]
00:16:58
◼
►
then at the end you have to kind of yank
[TS]
00:17:02
◼
►
it you gotta pop it mm-hmm that locks it
[TS]
00:17:05
◼
►
in it locks it in and once in the flavor
[TS]
00:17:07
◼
►
it locks in the cold I throw some dry
[TS]
00:17:10
◼
►
ice in there and you can be making ice
[TS]
00:17:12
◼
►
cream in this thing just put it in the
[TS]
00:17:14
◼
►
backseat of the car drive over the
[TS]
00:17:16
◼
►
mountains he's made ice cream it's so
[TS]
00:17:17
◼
►
cold in there and he didn't know he my
[TS]
00:17:21
◼
►
friend did not read the instructions
[TS]
00:17:22
◼
►
even though he I think maybe even looked
[TS]
00:17:25
◼
►
at a YouTube video and everybody said
[TS]
00:17:27
◼
►
you gotta yank it there at the end he
[TS]
00:17:28
◼
►
didn't and he said to this guy this
[TS]
00:17:32
◼
►
thing you sent me a defective bag gets
[TS]
00:17:33
◼
►
broken uh-huh and the guy in Alabama
[TS]
00:17:36
◼
►
miraculously are very responsibly sent
[TS]
00:17:40
◼
►
another bag and my friend sent his bag
[TS]
00:17:44
◼
►
the second bag arrived and have the same
[TS]
00:17:46
◼
►
problem than my friend it felt to him
[TS]
00:17:49
◼
►
like the zipper was stuck the zipper was
[TS]
00:17:51
◼
►
it was what it is is this when you look
[TS]
00:17:54
◼
►
at the zipper it looks like it's
[TS]
00:17:56
◼
►
misaligned that's part of the secret
[TS]
00:18:00
◼
►
sauce that's how it works
[TS]
00:18:04
◼
►
so my friend wrote back to a guy in
[TS]
00:18:06
◼
►
Alabama and he was like hey man I'm
[TS]
00:18:07
◼
►
sorry it was my fault I'm a dingaling I
[TS]
00:18:09
◼
►
didn't know how to do this so you know
[TS]
00:18:12
◼
►
I'll cover the shipping for both of
[TS]
00:18:13
◼
►
these things and sorry for the
[TS]
00:18:15
◼
►
inconvenience according to my friend the
[TS]
00:18:18
◼
►
guy in Alabama gave him a little bit of
[TS]
00:18:21
◼
►
what they call a little bit of the
[TS]
00:18:23
◼
►
Alabama razzmatazz uh-huh
[TS]
00:18:26
◼
►
said like oh yeah well what's up big
[TS]
00:18:29
◼
►
smart city guy can't figure out how to
[TS]
00:18:31
◼
►
use zipper dippers are complicated if
[TS]
00:18:33
◼
►
you know gave him some dim sum threw him
[TS]
00:18:36
◼
►
some shade uh-huh my friend was like
[TS]
00:18:41
◼
►
well I'm not gonna be friends with this
[TS]
00:18:42
◼
►
guy anyway so anyway let it ride he says
[TS]
00:18:45
◼
►
couple of weeks later or maybe a month
[TS]
00:18:50
◼
►
later the other yeti bag arrives back at
[TS]
00:18:54
◼
►
his house where the sign on the thing
[TS]
00:18:56
◼
►
says he nobody ever came to the
[TS]
00:18:58
◼
►
post-office box to pick it up return to
[TS]
00:18:59
◼
►
sender oh no so our cigars I called
[TS]
00:19:02
◼
►
ghosting John well who knows what it is
[TS]
00:19:05
◼
►
but Alabama ghosting I think Alabama I
[TS]
00:19:08
◼
►
think it means Alabama went to jail
[TS]
00:19:10
◼
►
oh now and so now my friend has to Yeti
[TS]
00:19:14
◼
►
bags and he rolls into his beach club
[TS]
00:19:19
◼
►
like mr. mr. conspicuous Yeti bag mr.
[TS]
00:19:23
◼
►
mister like parks his Mercedes and right
[TS]
00:19:26
◼
►
in front of the door New York City so
[TS]
00:19:30
◼
►
he's telling this story and then I'm
[TS]
00:19:32
◼
►
looking around the the looking around
[TS]
00:19:34
◼
►
the Country Club
[TS]
00:19:35
◼
►
there's Yeti bags everywhere because
[TS]
00:19:37
◼
►
it's within this tiny little subculture
[TS]
00:19:40
◼
►
of 12% earth that's the bag yeah you
[TS]
00:19:44
◼
►
gotta have and I was like wow wow I fell
[TS]
00:19:48
◼
►
into a micro scene did you get a foam oh
[TS]
00:19:52
◼
►
like a like a Ford yeah and I'm a fear
[TS]
00:19:55
◼
►
of missing out as the Millennials say oh
[TS]
00:19:57
◼
►
you know you should
[TS]
00:19:58
◼
►
did you feel backless no because uh I
[TS]
00:20:02
◼
►
don't ever pack things to take anywhere
[TS]
00:20:08
◼
►
else that I care whether those things
[TS]
00:20:10
◼
►
are hot or cold later episode it's one
[TS]
00:20:13
◼
►
thing you have your Filson bag for
[TS]
00:20:16
◼
►
travel it's another thing to go to a
[TS]
00:20:17
◼
►
cookout where you're gonna lose it as
[TS]
00:20:18
◼
►
easy as you lose your flip-flops
[TS]
00:20:20
◼
►
well that and also like gin general I
[TS]
00:20:24
◼
►
want my I want everything at room
[TS]
00:20:27
◼
►
temperature oh right
[TS]
00:20:30
◼
►
so if I was going to a barbecue and I
[TS]
00:20:31
◼
►
was taking a bunch of Meads I think I
[TS]
00:20:33
◼
►
would assume I was gonna get there in
[TS]
00:20:35
◼
►
time to cook it where it was it didn't
[TS]
00:20:37
◼
►
it wasn't a problem that I just threw
[TS]
00:20:39
◼
►
the meat into the bottom of a grocery
[TS]
00:20:40
◼
►
bag and I know you don't want a super
[TS]
00:20:44
◼
►
cold fresca I don't want a super cold
[TS]
00:20:46
◼
►
fresca I don't drink beer which is the
[TS]
00:20:48
◼
►
number one thing that people are like
[TS]
00:20:50
◼
►
wow you got to keep it cold and I'm if
[TS]
00:20:53
◼
►
I'm going somewhere and it's not like I
[TS]
00:20:55
◼
►
take three cokes with me that I want to
[TS]
00:20:57
◼
►
keep anyway I never use a cooler for
[TS]
00:21:01
◼
►
anything and I there's a little while on
[TS]
00:21:05
◼
►
tour where we kept a cooler in the van
[TS]
00:21:07
◼
►
which seemed like a you know a real like
[TS]
00:21:10
◼
►
Vanderslice ething to do like uh we're
[TS]
00:21:12
◼
►
really living it deluxe a little bit
[TS]
00:21:16
◼
►
deluxe like now we got cold this is your
[TS]
00:21:18
◼
►
this is your first day you know it's a
[TS]
00:21:20
◼
►
good idea to have something like this in
[TS]
00:21:21
◼
►
your van exactly except when you're on
[TS]
00:21:25
◼
►
tour it's so freakin boring that when
[TS]
00:21:28
◼
►
you when you are thirsty pull over
[TS]
00:21:31
◼
►
because you just want a chance to go
[TS]
00:21:33
◼
►
into the truck stop and look at all the
[TS]
00:21:35
◼
►
commemorative spoons uh-huh even for the
[TS]
00:21:39
◼
►
five minutes that it takes to like fill
[TS]
00:21:41
◼
►
up the gas and get a pop like the idea
[TS]
00:21:44
◼
►
that you're gonna put this cooler in
[TS]
00:21:46
◼
►
there and just like you're on a camping
[TS]
00:21:48
◼
►
trip I don't know it's not my is it we
[TS]
00:21:51
◼
►
ended up not using it that much mm-hmm
[TS]
00:21:53
◼
►
so I mean you know a cooler is
[TS]
00:21:57
◼
►
ultimately a cooler it does a it does
[TS]
00:22:00
◼
►
something for you but it also becomes a
[TS]
00:22:01
◼
►
job where like you now you've got to
[TS]
00:22:04
◼
►
keep ice in there and then the first
[TS]
00:22:05
◼
►
time somebody doesn't feel like putting
[TS]
00:22:06
◼
►
ice in there now you just you don't
[TS]
00:22:07
◼
►
really have a cooler anymore
[TS]
00:22:09
◼
►
and if you notice this now I am somebody
[TS]
00:22:11
◼
►
who likes a cold beverage if I'm at a
[TS]
00:22:13
◼
►
hotel I'll put a ton of ice into the
[TS]
00:22:16
◼
►
drink I think there's new I think
[TS]
00:22:17
◼
►
they're using new technologies to make
[TS]
00:22:18
◼
►
ice melt faster I'm pretty sure I think
[TS]
00:22:21
◼
►
a lot of the ice you see nowadays
[TS]
00:22:22
◼
►
because it's more easier to manage water
[TS]
00:22:24
◼
►
the liquid than a solid but that's the
[TS]
00:22:28
◼
►
thing that's the thing with a cooler a
[TS]
00:22:29
◼
►
cooler is a job and if nobody's really
[TS]
00:22:31
◼
►
that into it there's not gonna be
[TS]
00:22:32
◼
►
anybody who becomes the coolers are well
[TS]
00:22:34
◼
►
this is why I this is why I stopped
[TS]
00:22:36
◼
►
buying records at some point in the late
[TS]
00:22:40
◼
►
80s because if you're buying records
[TS]
00:22:43
◼
►
then you got to maintain a stereo and if
[TS]
00:22:44
◼
►
you're maintaining a stereo then you got
[TS]
00:22:46
◼
►
to maintain an address and even if
[TS]
00:22:49
◼
►
you're even if you have a Walkman and
[TS]
00:22:51
◼
►
are listening to tapes you gotta have
[TS]
00:22:52
◼
►
batteries and for that basically you
[TS]
00:22:55
◼
►
might as well have an address if you're
[TS]
00:22:56
◼
►
buying batteries yeah and so I stopped
[TS]
00:22:59
◼
►
buying new music I stopped listening to
[TS]
00:23:01
◼
►
music on the Reg because it it suggested
[TS]
00:23:04
◼
►
this whole I mean you had to have a
[TS]
00:23:06
◼
►
lifestyle he had to have a lifestyle
[TS]
00:23:07
◼
►
that I couldn't maintain that's a really
[TS]
00:23:09
◼
►
good point and it seems like and then I
[TS]
00:23:11
◼
►
never regained the habit of buying music
[TS]
00:23:13
◼
►
because by the time I had gotten all the
[TS]
00:23:15
◼
►
way back to a place where it's like now
[TS]
00:23:17
◼
►
I've got a lifestyle I was in my early
[TS]
00:23:21
◼
►
40s right it was too late music
[TS]
00:23:24
◼
►
alternating the creation of music not
[TS]
00:23:26
◼
►
consuming it that's right
[TS]
00:23:27
◼
►
it's job and so it cooler feels like the
[TS]
00:23:31
◼
►
same thing you got to keep the you got
[TS]
00:23:32
◼
►
have to keep the cooler cooler the
[TS]
00:23:35
◼
►
cooler coolant in the freezer freezin
[TS]
00:23:38
◼
►
it's in the freezer freezing to be the
[TS]
00:23:41
◼
►
cooler cooler huh and then you got to
[TS]
00:23:44
◼
►
store the cooler pushing that stuff you
[TS]
00:23:46
◼
►
need a place to put your stuff between
[TS]
00:23:53
◼
►
the football and baseball every day
[TS]
00:24:08
◼
►
somebody's more news who's never heard
[TS]
00:24:09
◼
►
George Carlin their whole childhood I
[TS]
00:24:11
◼
►
know I know something our late great
[TS]
00:24:14
◼
►
friend Leslie Harpold used to say this
[TS]
00:24:15
◼
►
and I say this every month or so just to
[TS]
00:24:17
◼
►
me one of the ways I can help keep her
[TS]
00:24:18
◼
►
memory alive she says I hate buying toys
[TS]
00:24:21
◼
►
for my toys
[TS]
00:24:22
◼
►
this gets into the John Roderick problem
[TS]
00:24:24
◼
►
this gets into John Roderick's île
[TS]
00:24:25
◼
►
problem is like this one thing to get
[TS]
00:24:27
◼
►
stuff and then it's another thing to get
[TS]
00:24:28
◼
►
a job for the stuff now you're taking
[TS]
00:24:31
◼
►
care of like a Tamagotchi right and like
[TS]
00:24:33
◼
►
now you need stuff for your stuff you
[TS]
00:24:34
◼
►
got to have dongles for your computer
[TS]
00:24:36
◼
►
you got to get subscriptions for your
[TS]
00:24:37
◼
►
computer you need a case for your
[TS]
00:24:39
◼
►
computer yep the first time I went to
[TS]
00:24:42
◼
►
get a case for my phone I felt like I
[TS]
00:24:44
◼
►
had really been fucking duped uh-huh
[TS]
00:24:47
◼
►
because I walked into the store and I
[TS]
00:24:49
◼
►
was like yeah I need a case for this and
[TS]
00:24:51
◼
►
they were like behold and and then you
[TS]
00:24:55
◼
►
know there was some wizard smoke and
[TS]
00:24:57
◼
►
then there's I think we might have a
[TS]
00:24:58
◼
►
couple here let's go look these things
[TS]
00:25:02
◼
►
and I'm like huh
[TS]
00:25:03
◼
►
I don't care about any of this I don't
[TS]
00:25:04
◼
►
want it to look like a block of wood I
[TS]
00:25:06
◼
►
don't want it to have a Pokemon on it I
[TS]
00:25:08
◼
►
just want a fucking case for and they
[TS]
00:25:10
◼
►
were like here's a nice case
[TS]
00:25:11
◼
►
seventy-five dollars or whatever it was
[TS]
00:25:13
◼
►
yeah and I said you're kidding me
[TS]
00:25:18
◼
►
first of all make the phone so it
[TS]
00:25:20
◼
►
doesn't need a case but second of all
[TS]
00:25:21
◼
►
why don't why don't they make the whole
[TS]
00:25:23
◼
►
plane out of black box all right so
[TS]
00:25:37
◼
►
anyway I do not want a Yeti bag oh I
[TS]
00:25:40
◼
►
don't have any use for it you can offer
[TS]
00:25:42
◼
►
on the extra bag you didn't say hey
[TS]
00:25:44
◼
►
here's 20 bucks let me take that off
[TS]
00:25:45
◼
►
your hands hmm one I have too many bags
[TS]
00:25:47
◼
►
and two come on this is a country clap
[TS]
00:25:49
◼
►
well I could people keep telling me this
[TS]
00:25:52
◼
►
people tell you that but don't
[TS]
00:25:54
◼
►
eternalize that well you know people
[TS]
00:25:56
◼
►
tell me I have too many like like the
[TS]
00:25:58
◼
►
drum major jackets these people say a
[TS]
00:26:02
◼
►
lot of things John OB there are MIDI
[TS]
00:26:04
◼
►
drum major jackets I don't a fraction I
[TS]
00:26:06
◼
►
will not hear this a bags are a good
[TS]
00:26:08
◼
►
thing I organized many of my bags just
[TS]
00:26:10
◼
►
this morning and it was a great feeling
[TS]
00:26:12
◼
►
yeah I definitely now have a big bag
[TS]
00:26:16
◼
►
full of little bags oh you know we yeah
[TS]
00:26:19
◼
►
that's what I did I can't buzz though
[TS]
00:26:20
◼
►
out of town and I I took all of my
[TS]
00:26:22
◼
►
packing cubes and I nested them not in
[TS]
00:26:24
◼
►
super nested them I've folded them
[TS]
00:26:26
◼
►
nicely zip them up and I put them all
[TS]
00:26:28
◼
►
inside of the very large cube and now
[TS]
00:26:31
◼
►
they're only going place my big problem
[TS]
00:26:35
◼
►
right now is the 20
[TS]
00:26:36
◼
►
two pairs of Levi's problem hmm we've
[TS]
00:26:39
◼
►
discussed it before yeah I but I had the
[TS]
00:26:42
◼
►
22 pairs of Levi's zipped in a big bag
[TS]
00:26:44
◼
►
that was in the back of a closet
[TS]
00:26:47
◼
►
somewhere and I pulled the bag out and I
[TS]
00:26:48
◼
►
was like what's in this big bag unzipped
[TS]
00:26:51
◼
►
it oh it's the 22 pairs of Levi's so I
[TS]
00:26:53
◼
►
pulled him out again and I went through
[TS]
00:26:56
◼
►
them again there's still 22 pairs of
[TS]
00:26:58
◼
►
Levi's about I would say about 12 of
[TS]
00:27:01
◼
►
them are made in the USA like oh oh it's
[TS]
00:27:04
◼
►
not hom meheeco no proper like 19 mid
[TS]
00:27:09
◼
►
90s Levi's that I'm sure somebody
[TS]
00:27:12
◼
►
millions are proudly in the Mission
[TS]
00:27:14
◼
►
District one would guess yep yep except
[TS]
00:27:17
◼
►
every single one of them
[TS]
00:27:19
◼
►
I have blown out the crotch the rest of
[TS]
00:27:21
◼
►
the pants are fine it's a gift and a
[TS]
00:27:23
◼
►
curse I do the same thing yep the first
[TS]
00:27:25
◼
►
it came for the Space Pen and I said
[TS]
00:27:27
◼
►
nothing and they came for the iPhone I
[TS]
00:27:28
◼
►
said this is this isn't a thing where
[TS]
00:27:31
◼
►
it's like oh it's got a rip in the knee
[TS]
00:27:32
◼
►
this is blown out crotch yeah - eager
[TS]
00:27:37
◼
►
that you get a blown out crotch of like
[TS]
00:27:39
◼
►
a half inch to two inches and then you
[TS]
00:27:40
◼
►
get like a thread comb-over on the edges
[TS]
00:27:43
◼
►
yep and it's the hardest part of the
[TS]
00:27:46
◼
►
gene to repair I mean I I learned to use
[TS]
00:27:49
◼
►
a sewing machine just so I could repair
[TS]
00:27:51
◼
►
my jeans but to get in there and repair
[TS]
00:27:53
◼
►
the Crouch is really hard that's a tough
[TS]
00:27:55
◼
►
place that's like heart surgery for
[TS]
00:27:56
◼
►
pants yeah and then you're like well
[TS]
00:27:58
◼
►
I'll take it down to the seamstress
[TS]
00:27:59
◼
►
person the seamstress person is gonna
[TS]
00:28:02
◼
►
charge you $15 to do a repair or more so
[TS]
00:28:06
◼
►
then you're looking at 22 pairs of
[TS]
00:28:07
◼
►
Levi's each one is gonna cost you $15 to
[TS]
00:28:09
◼
►
fix to have now a beat-up pair of Levi's
[TS]
00:28:14
◼
►
that decide here's my algorithm if it
[TS]
00:28:17
◼
►
takes me a calculator to figure out how
[TS]
00:28:18
◼
►
to fix the crotch in 22 pairs of pants
[TS]
00:28:20
◼
►
is too much money okay so yes but I but
[TS]
00:28:24
◼
►
I'm but I'm back to the problem of
[TS]
00:28:25
◼
►
laying out these pants on the bathroom
[TS]
00:28:27
◼
►
floor and it seems like value the thing
[TS]
00:28:33
◼
►
seems to have value it's got a valence
[TS]
00:28:35
◼
►
the amount surely and also the
[TS]
00:28:38
◼
►
american-ness and also these are an old
[TS]
00:28:41
◼
►
and the he gay men's oh right there's so
[TS]
00:28:45
◼
►
much he gay in that bathroom you can
[TS]
00:28:46
◼
►
barely get in there you're pushing the
[TS]
00:28:48
◼
►
door and it's like the he gays pushing
[TS]
00:28:50
◼
►
full of striations and so it appears to
[TS]
00:28:53
◼
►
be it appears to have value mm-hmm and
[TS]
00:28:57
◼
►
so I'm very confused by them walking
[TS]
00:29:00
◼
►
around the house I've got I'm you know
[TS]
00:29:01
◼
►
I've got a palm on them on my forehead
[TS]
00:29:03
◼
►
going like what am I do go I can do
[TS]
00:29:05
◼
►
these things are like they're dragging
[TS]
00:29:07
◼
►
me can I can i repurpose might a lot be
[TS]
00:29:11
◼
►
a hack for this solution that's gonna
[TS]
00:29:13
◼
►
sound really obvious but I'm gonna toss
[TS]
00:29:15
◼
►
this out you know it's kind of the
[TS]
00:29:16
◼
►
opposite of making rice like that your
[TS]
00:29:18
◼
►
cat says you're not making grains of
[TS]
00:29:20
◼
►
rice you're making a rice it's the
[TS]
00:29:21
◼
►
opposite of that you get away from the
[TS]
00:29:23
◼
►
22 and here's what you need to do you
[TS]
00:29:24
◼
►
need to go into a very large area of
[TS]
00:29:26
◼
►
your house and without prejudice lay all
[TS]
00:29:27
◼
►
of the pants down and then you need you
[TS]
00:29:30
◼
►
need to do like you did with your
[TS]
00:29:31
◼
►
passport you need to just listen just
[TS]
00:29:33
◼
►
listen because one of those pairs you're
[TS]
00:29:35
◼
►
gonna this is gonna take you five
[TS]
00:29:36
◼
►
minutes to get out of that mindset
[TS]
00:29:37
◼
►
you're in right now
[TS]
00:29:38
◼
►
five minutes later you're gonna hear hey
[TS]
00:29:41
◼
►
one of those pairs will speak to you and
[TS]
00:29:44
◼
►
you will know which crushed them and oh
[TS]
00:29:48
◼
►
one one pair one pair that's all you
[TS]
00:29:50
◼
►
here's how you say it you say to them
[TS]
00:29:51
◼
►
all with your with your mind bullets you
[TS]
00:29:53
◼
►
just say hi everybody
[TS]
00:29:55
◼
►
I know it's been a while you're all here
[TS]
00:29:57
◼
►
I'm glad we're all here together
[TS]
00:29:59
◼
►
first of all I just want to say none of
[TS]
00:30:01
◼
►
you need to be worried about this right
[TS]
00:30:03
◼
►
cousin all hands pants meaning none of
[TS]
00:30:05
◼
►
you guys need to worry but here's the
[TS]
00:30:06
◼
►
thing I'm just gonna stand here for five
[TS]
00:30:08
◼
►
minutes I'm gonna stand here I'm gonna
[TS]
00:30:09
◼
►
sit with this and I want one of you to
[TS]
00:30:11
◼
►
whisper with whom do I begin hey buddy
[TS]
00:30:16
◼
►
don't you think well I bet you want
[TS]
00:30:18
◼
►
speaks to you all right
[TS]
00:30:19
◼
►
you might do it your head is there one
[TS]
00:30:21
◼
►
pair that you remember who's he gave you
[TS]
00:30:23
◼
►
remember creating in the 90s that's
[TS]
00:30:24
◼
►
really speaking to you yeah all right
[TS]
00:30:26
◼
►
okay all right I'll look at I'll look
[TS]
00:30:28
◼
►
into this yeah I you know that doesn't
[TS]
00:30:30
◼
►
make sense from a like intellectual
[TS]
00:30:31
◼
►
standpoint I think it obviously
[TS]
00:30:33
◼
►
emotionally it makes sense but I think
[TS]
00:30:34
◼
►
it's very rational we can talk it is
[TS]
00:30:37
◼
►
very rational but it is the opposite of
[TS]
00:30:39
◼
►
make all the bacon right fix all the
[TS]
00:30:41
◼
►
Levi's this is the exception that proves
[TS]
00:30:43
◼
►
the pants I guess so all right okay I'll
[TS]
00:30:46
◼
►
give that a try I mean I have been
[TS]
00:30:48
◼
►
fielding I've been feeling like the 22
[TS]
00:30:50
◼
►
pairs of Levi's is like a vest of geld
[TS]
00:30:53
◼
►
and somebody threw me over the book over
[TS]
00:30:55
◼
►
this side of the boat and it's like so
[TS]
00:30:57
◼
►
it's like Esther and heavy armor yeah
[TS]
00:31:01
◼
►
yeah it's it's it's it's a parable it's
[TS]
00:31:03
◼
►
parabolic
[TS]
00:31:04
◼
►
oh you know para we could smell a
[TS]
00:31:06
◼
►
parable coming down the road fucking
[TS]
00:31:08
◼
►
hate parables I hate parables because
[TS]
00:31:10
◼
►
first I realize that they're there and
[TS]
00:31:12
◼
►
it makes me mad and then I realize how
[TS]
00:31:13
◼
►
appropriate they are and it makes me
[TS]
00:31:15
◼
►
super funny and I realize that you're
[TS]
00:31:16
◼
►
right in the center of the parable you
[TS]
00:31:18
◼
►
you look around you can't tell who's the
[TS]
00:31:19
◼
►
parable because it's you know and the
[TS]
00:31:21
◼
►
parable just makes this noise hmm yeah I
[TS]
00:31:24
◼
►
know I know
[TS]
00:31:24
◼
►
he's like shit Here I am I'm sinking in
[TS]
00:31:26
◼
►
the river because I because I think that
[TS]
00:31:27
◼
►
my vest of geld is worth more than my
[TS]
00:31:30
◼
►
own life yep it's like it's like a Bible
[TS]
00:31:33
◼
►
parable oh it's absolutely this is like
[TS]
00:31:35
◼
►
something right out of Luke well you're
[TS]
00:31:39
◼
►
right but I think this is a philosophy
[TS]
00:31:43
◼
►
program so I mean I think you could you
[TS]
00:31:45
◼
►
can say yes make all the noodles yes
[TS]
00:31:48
◼
►
make all the bacon yes make all the
[TS]
00:31:50
◼
►
coffee but I feel like there must be a
[TS]
00:31:52
◼
►
corollary to that which is for example
[TS]
00:31:54
◼
►
let's make this a little bit Talmudic
[TS]
00:31:56
◼
►
forgive my French you go to the store
[TS]
00:31:59
◼
►
you can't buy every kind of coffee you
[TS]
00:32:01
◼
►
got to start somewhere and you got to
[TS]
00:32:03
◼
►
say to yourself you know I'm gonna buy
[TS]
00:32:04
◼
►
this coffee and if it doesn't work out
[TS]
00:32:05
◼
►
I'll try a different one it doesn't mean
[TS]
00:32:07
◼
►
I don't shop anymore it doesn't mean I'm
[TS]
00:32:09
◼
►
not gonna drink coffee anymore so I mean
[TS]
00:32:15
◼
►
but right there we there's there's a
[TS]
00:32:17
◼
►
there's a big difference I think this is
[TS]
00:32:19
◼
►
it this is another problem this is like
[TS]
00:32:21
◼
►
another part of the no Yeti bank problem
[TS]
00:32:23
◼
►
for me which is that if I go to the
[TS]
00:32:27
◼
►
store and buy coffee it is not with any
[TS]
00:32:30
◼
►
awareness or intention of quotes trying
[TS]
00:32:37
◼
►
this coffee to see if I like it
[TS]
00:32:41
◼
►
and to maintain an awareness that that's
[TS]
00:32:44
◼
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what I'm doing long enough to make it to
[TS]
00:32:47
◼
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the store the next time to either buy
[TS]
00:32:50
◼
►
the same stuff again having tried it and
[TS]
00:32:53
◼
►
like it or buy a different kind having
[TS]
00:32:56
◼
►
tried it and not liked it because wow
[TS]
00:32:58
◼
►
that's super interesting to me yeah
[TS]
00:33:01
◼
►
every time I go to the store it is like
[TS]
00:33:02
◼
►
I've never seen coffee before yeah I buy
[TS]
00:33:04
◼
►
it based on whatever imaginary criteria
[TS]
00:33:07
◼
►
are flying through my head at the like
[TS]
00:33:11
◼
►
five minutes before the grocery store
[TS]
00:33:12
◼
►
closes which is whenever I'm in there
[TS]
00:33:14
◼
►
and I'm like ah let's see
[TS]
00:33:16
◼
►
and I do a
[TS]
00:33:17
◼
►
do some kind of accounting based on is
[TS]
00:33:19
◼
►
there one on sale does that one seem
[TS]
00:33:22
◼
►
like it's on sale because it's cheap
[TS]
00:33:24
◼
►
coffee and I don't want it like it's
[TS]
00:33:26
◼
►
gotta be within the fancy enough for me
[TS]
00:33:31
◼
►
window right I'm a fancy guy I've got it
[TS]
00:33:34
◼
►
the coffee's gotta be feeling there's a
[TS]
00:33:36
◼
►
fancy not for me window is very familiar
[TS]
00:33:38
◼
►
to me I know exactly what you mean yeah
[TS]
00:33:39
◼
►
I'm not gonna just get Seattle's Best
[TS]
00:33:41
◼
►
Coffee I'm routing algorithm we're on
[TS]
00:33:43
◼
►
the one hand I mean this is this is
[TS]
00:33:44
◼
►
probably a stupid perception error but
[TS]
00:33:46
◼
►
on the way and you go this that's really
[TS]
00:33:48
◼
►
cheap there's probably pretty good
[TS]
00:33:49
◼
►
chance I won't like that on the other
[TS]
00:33:50
◼
►
end you go oh my god that's way too much
[TS]
00:33:52
◼
►
money I would never pay that and so that
[TS]
00:33:54
◼
►
naturally narrows you to that 80% in
[TS]
00:33:56
◼
►
between sure the fancy enough window and
[TS]
00:33:59
◼
►
then you fall for the thing where it's
[TS]
00:34:00
◼
►
like well this this brand has got like
[TS]
00:34:03
◼
►
like six feet of shelf space but over
[TS]
00:34:06
◼
►
here there's just two little bags of
[TS]
00:34:09
◼
►
something called San Francisco coffee
[TS]
00:34:11
◼
►
company more or the you know like the
[TS]
00:34:16
◼
►
Tillamook Valley coffee roastery and you
[TS]
00:34:20
◼
►
go that's gotta be artisanal or at least
[TS]
00:34:23
◼
►
special yeah it's special enough to be a
[TS]
00:34:26
◼
►
small group you know it's not a red can
[TS]
00:34:27
◼
►
of Folgers right or you know you're not
[TS]
00:34:30
◼
►
buying some illy in a in a silver can
[TS]
00:34:34
◼
►
just because the cans can is awesome
[TS]
00:34:36
◼
►
because because that's what you drink in
[TS]
00:34:38
◼
►
Europe and Europe and you're like not my
[TS]
00:34:41
◼
►
Paris wait a minute not my Paris no you
[TS]
00:34:44
◼
►
you're thinking to yourself I'm somebody
[TS]
00:34:46
◼
►
I'm somebody special that's got fancy
[TS]
00:34:48
◼
►
coffee in my you know European coffee I
[TS]
00:34:50
◼
►
don't even know if it's really as far as
[TS]
00:34:52
◼
►
like how much I enjoy drinking it it's
[TS]
00:34:53
◼
►
fine I would put it along the lines of
[TS]
00:34:56
◼
►
fancy enough a hotel room coffee or
[TS]
00:35:00
◼
►
coffee it's fine it's fine
[TS]
00:35:02
◼
►
I mean in Europe I feel like I've I've
[TS]
00:35:04
◼
►
had le coffee out of a vending machine
[TS]
00:35:06
◼
►
like I don't think it's fancy it's just
[TS]
00:35:10
◼
►
kind of great can but so I go into the
[TS]
00:35:12
◼
►
grocery store each time like a newborn
[TS]
00:35:14
◼
►
babe and I couldn't tell you the coffee
[TS]
00:35:19
◼
►
that's on the counter in my kitchen that
[TS]
00:35:22
◼
►
I'd wear I just left the house five
[TS]
00:35:24
◼
►
minutes ago
[TS]
00:35:25
◼
►
fascinating to me so I make no decision
[TS]
00:35:28
◼
►
ever based on like Zacha rains I know I
[TS]
00:35:32
◼
►
like and I don't need to go and look at
[TS]
00:35:34
◼
►
all the boxed rice dinners because I did
[TS]
00:35:36
◼
►
find a thing where it's like that's
[TS]
00:35:38
◼
►
great I'm gonna buy that
[TS]
00:35:40
◼
►
so that arraigned is an unusual example
[TS]
00:35:41
◼
►
of it's definitely certainly in the
[TS]
00:35:43
◼
►
fancy enough window but like it's also
[TS]
00:35:45
◼
►
that like I've had other brands of that
[TS]
00:35:47
◼
►
and they're not as good as this and if
[TS]
00:35:49
◼
►
you can drive all that and just put it
[TS]
00:35:50
◼
►
in the cart boom talk about rice-a-roni
[TS]
00:35:52
◼
►
oh you know i used to treat it is it is
[TS]
00:35:56
◼
►
I used to like Hamburger Helper
[TS]
00:35:57
◼
►
sometimes that could that can be good
[TS]
00:36:00
◼
►
but my contra concern here and this just
[TS]
00:36:05
◼
►
shows you how broken inside I am it's
[TS]
00:36:07
◼
►
like I just worry about missing okay so
[TS]
00:36:12
◼
►
here's what I hate what I hate is when I
[TS]
00:36:13
◼
►
get something and I bring it home and I
[TS]
00:36:14
◼
►
go oh crap you know oh because of the
[TS]
00:36:18
◼
►
way this branding and packaging works I
[TS]
00:36:21
◼
►
mistook this for something else so
[TS]
00:36:24
◼
►
classic example fat-free half-and-half
[TS]
00:36:26
◼
►
no no why is that even in a store and
[TS]
00:36:29
◼
►
what is it least so much like regular
[TS]
00:36:31
◼
►
half it's like making a toy that's like
[TS]
00:36:32
◼
►
I haven't a toy gun right next to a real
[TS]
00:36:34
◼
►
gun and going help yourself yeah it's
[TS]
00:36:36
◼
►
it's so bad and so I but I you know and
[TS]
00:36:39
◼
►
I've learned my lesson I've learnt it
[TS]
00:36:40
◼
►
like here's the thing
[TS]
00:36:41
◼
►
stop and look at it cuz here's what
[TS]
00:36:43
◼
►
would happen what if I do that twice in
[TS]
00:36:45
◼
►
a row what if I actually go to the store
[TS]
00:36:47
◼
►
I accidentally buy fat-free half and I
[TS]
00:36:49
◼
►
bring it home I go yeah I go back to the
[TS]
00:36:50
◼
►
store I pick up something oh guess what
[TS]
00:36:52
◼
►
I just bought fat-free half-and-half
[TS]
00:36:53
◼
►
again because it was nothing tension
[TS]
00:36:55
◼
►
that's going through my head is like
[TS]
00:36:57
◼
►
what if I keep accidentally buying like
[TS]
00:36:59
◼
►
a wrong thing and there's too much
[TS]
00:37:01
◼
►
latency between the purchase and the
[TS]
00:37:03
◼
►
attempted consumptions together that's
[TS]
00:37:06
◼
►
just me that's just me yeah I'm admiring
[TS]
00:37:07
◼
►
you I'm admiring you at this point you
[TS]
00:37:09
◼
►
care so much about the things in your
[TS]
00:37:10
◼
►
home you're 22 pairs of Levi's you can
[TS]
00:37:12
◼
►
walk into a store with Zen Zen mind
[TS]
00:37:14
◼
►
beginner's mind just give me some coffee
[TS]
00:37:16
◼
►
every time and I do it with bread too I
[TS]
00:37:18
◼
►
walk in you know there's a eight
[TS]
00:37:20
◼
►
thousand kinds of bread and every time I
[TS]
00:37:23
◼
►
swear to you every time I stand there
[TS]
00:37:25
◼
►
and I say well twenty two seed bread has
[TS]
00:37:28
◼
►
22 seeds that's you know that's like 13
[TS]
00:37:31
◼
►
more seeds than not the same for every
[TS]
00:37:33
◼
►
pair of Levi's but wait a minute what if
[TS]
00:37:36
◼
►
the what if 22 is too many kinds of
[TS]
00:37:38
◼
►
seeds and what you real
[TS]
00:37:39
◼
►
just water the basic nine seeds and
[TS]
00:37:42
◼
►
what's this you know squirrely bread I
[TS]
00:37:43
◼
►
feel like I've had that before bad if
[TS]
00:37:45
◼
►
you stand there and do that and you
[TS]
00:37:47
◼
►
actually think about it for more than
[TS]
00:37:49
◼
►
about 90 seconds in my case I feel
[TS]
00:37:51
◼
►
absolutely insane and all I all looks
[TS]
00:37:54
◼
►
the same and different and I feel like
[TS]
00:37:56
◼
►
I'm tripping this is but their potato
[TS]
00:38:03
◼
►
buns and but no wait a minute that why'd
[TS]
00:38:05
◼
►
you put the potato hamburger buns next
[TS]
00:38:07
◼
►
to the hot
[TS]
00:38:08
◼
►
what taxonomy is happening here was
[TS]
00:38:10
◼
►
there twenty two seeds in this bread
[TS]
00:38:11
◼
►
well and I feel like each time that I do
[TS]
00:38:13
◼
►
this and then I arrest that tendency I'm
[TS]
00:38:18
◼
►
at the top of the log ride at Disneyland
[TS]
00:38:21
◼
►
I'm about to get on and go down the log
[TS]
00:38:23
◼
►
ride and then I say you know what pick
[TS]
00:38:26
◼
►
one and then I reach and I pick one of
[TS]
00:38:30
◼
►
the numbers of seeds or one of the
[TS]
00:38:32
◼
►
numbers of other components in a in a
[TS]
00:38:35
◼
►
thing nuts nuts Aziz okay go and I so I
[TS]
00:38:43
◼
►
feel like I have conquered every time I
[TS]
00:38:57
◼
►
do that calculation I do feel like if I
[TS]
00:39:01
◼
►
go in by rote and pick the thing that I
[TS]
00:39:04
◼
►
always get mm-hmm then I'm also I'm
[TS]
00:39:08
◼
►
potentially making a grave error in
[TS]
00:39:11
◼
►
missing missing the missing something in
[TS]
00:39:14
◼
►
the variety and so I make that you know
[TS]
00:39:17
◼
►
I I do that calculation each time right
[TS]
00:39:20
◼
►
and I'm and I feel somewhat confidence
[TS]
00:39:22
◼
►
that I got the most suitable thing at
[TS]
00:39:24
◼
►
that moment for me in this John you're a
[TS]
00:39:27
◼
►
traveler you're a seeker yeah I mean you
[TS]
00:39:30
◼
►
still you're traveling in a grocery
[TS]
00:39:31
◼
►
store you're walking through Europe
[TS]
00:39:33
◼
►
except it's a it's a safe way well so we
[TS]
00:39:35
◼
►
go to the same Mexican restaurant for a
[TS]
00:39:37
◼
►
family dinner periodically and everybody
[TS]
00:39:40
◼
►
at the table gets the same thing over oh
[TS]
00:39:42
◼
►
right that the three ladies get shrimp
[TS]
00:39:44
◼
►
tostadas a thing I love Mike okay man
[TS]
00:39:48
◼
►
shrimp toast on I don't even know what
[TS]
00:39:50
◼
►
the I don't I honestly don't know what
[TS]
00:39:51
◼
►
that is
[TS]
00:39:52
◼
►
I've gotten one because this is my thing
[TS]
00:39:56
◼
►
at the Mexican restaurant el farol mmm I
[TS]
00:40:00
◼
►
go in and the waiter knows us he sees a
[TS]
00:40:02
◼
►
good he's good man good friend and he
[TS]
00:40:06
◼
►
knows that he's gonna get out three
[TS]
00:40:07
◼
►
shrimp tostadas one cheese enchilada her
[TS]
00:40:12
◼
►
chichi bean and cheese burrito
[TS]
00:40:14
◼
►
quesadilla with no cheese for the child
[TS]
00:40:16
◼
►
please oh and she's adamant like no rice
[TS]
00:40:20
◼
►
double beans all right whatever you know
[TS]
00:40:24
◼
►
he'd take it you take it as it comes but
[TS]
00:40:25
◼
►
then he knows that I'm gonna pick a
[TS]
00:40:27
◼
►
different thing off the Michigan ah the
[TS]
00:40:29
◼
►
the the pot beans or refried what'd she
[TS]
00:40:32
◼
►
get she wants whatever beans he got
[TS]
00:40:34
◼
►
black beans she is mine black bean
[TS]
00:40:36
◼
►
doesn't mind it likes it she does not
[TS]
00:40:38
◼
►
want any kind of rice no matter what
[TS]
00:40:40
◼
►
interests and I'm like it's an a you
[TS]
00:40:42
◼
►
know how do you not like rice doesn't
[TS]
00:40:45
◼
►
like potatoes don't even put them on my
[TS]
00:40:47
◼
►
don't put them on the table she doesn't
[TS]
00:40:48
◼
►
want potatoes either god bless her but
[TS]
00:40:50
◼
►
she's just extended that didn't fall far
[TS]
00:40:53
◼
►
from the tree
[TS]
00:40:55
◼
►
well they have the potato tree that's
[TS]
00:40:57
◼
►
another place that you have to look for
[TS]
00:41:09
◼
►
the potato tree yeah that's where the
[TS]
00:41:10
◼
►
wild things are
[TS]
00:41:13
◼
►
well you when you go to a restaurant
[TS]
00:41:15
◼
►
John Roderick it seems to me you do go
[TS]
00:41:16
◼
►
out of your way to to the extent
[TS]
00:41:18
◼
►
possible unless it's part of the
[TS]
00:41:20
◼
►
tradition of the place like when we
[TS]
00:41:21
◼
►
would write a dim sum place our IP we
[TS]
00:41:23
◼
►
would always get the same thing because
[TS]
00:41:24
◼
►
that was part of our thing that we did
[TS]
00:41:25
◼
►
but you you go to the same restaurant
[TS]
00:41:27
◼
►
you get you deliberately you search
[TS]
00:41:29
◼
►
through your mind you want something
[TS]
00:41:30
◼
►
different every time and I will get
[TS]
00:41:33
◼
►
things that I don't that I am almost
[TS]
00:41:35
◼
►
certain I don't like right like I am NOT
[TS]
00:41:38
◼
►
a big fan of a mole a sauce let's just
[TS]
00:41:40
◼
►
be honest you know I've been to Oaxaca
[TS]
00:41:42
◼
►
I've had the mole a I've been to the
[TS]
00:41:44
◼
►
where the mole a comes out of the ground
[TS]
00:41:46
◼
►
in Springs is that right mo sighs yeah
[TS]
00:41:49
◼
►
and I had the mole a Springs the famous
[TS]
00:41:51
◼
►
male Springs of Oaxaca
[TS]
00:41:52
◼
►
Wacka Wacka but I do not want it because
[TS]
00:41:56
◼
►
leave it you know don't get your
[TS]
00:41:59
◼
►
chocolate in my peanut butter I don't
[TS]
00:42:00
◼
►
understand the whole male phenomenon
[TS]
00:42:02
◼
►
so I don't want that but always like the
[TS]
00:42:05
◼
►
wine of Mexican food it's like something
[TS]
00:42:07
◼
►
you get to be real pissy about because
[TS]
00:42:08
◼
►
you know stuff and you go way beyond the
[TS]
00:42:10
◼
►
fancy enough window fuck that fuck that
[TS]
00:42:11
◼
►
is that right do you know people that
[TS]
00:42:13
◼
►
are fancy about mold way people are
[TS]
00:42:15
◼
►
fancy about everything John it's it's
[TS]
00:42:17
◼
►
they know they know they can capitalize
[TS]
00:42:18
◼
►
on how little somebody cares about
[TS]
00:42:20
◼
►
something obscure that they can become
[TS]
00:42:22
◼
►
an expert about nigga well actually how
[TS]
00:42:25
◼
►
it's found in their shade of that potato
[TS]
00:42:27
◼
►
tree I mean yesterday I went to a beach
[TS]
00:42:30
◼
►
that was behind a door I got I got a no
[TS]
00:42:35
◼
►
is this anybody I know well so I have a
[TS]
00:42:38
◼
►
good palate if somebody you know I have
[TS]
00:42:40
◼
►
a good pal who's in there he's in the
[TS]
00:42:42
◼
►
business let's call it season he's in
[TS]
00:42:44
◼
►
the business where this house I insulted
[TS]
00:42:45
◼
►
it's not him is it no no no some drinks
[TS]
00:42:48
◼
►
at night no that is that was 120 percent
[TS]
00:42:52
◼
►
justifies that's when you spent on the
[TS]
00:42:54
◼
►
streetcar and and Ben took us to meet MC
[TS]
00:42:56
◼
►
Hammer wasn't it I spin on a streetcar
[TS]
00:42:59
◼
►
and I tweeted about it and then the San
[TS]
00:43:00
◼
►
Francisco streetcar Twitter account was
[TS]
00:43:06
◼
►
so bad right and and and that Twitter
[TS]
00:43:10
◼
►
account and I still communicate with
[TS]
00:43:11
◼
►
each other at least did before I got on
[TS]
00:43:12
◼
►
I would let you work things out okay so
[TS]
00:43:14
◼
►
somebody who's in the business who has a
[TS]
00:43:16
◼
►
bitch behind a door and she's not our
[TS]
00:43:18
◼
►
business this is not he's not a business
[TS]
00:43:20
◼
►
of show no he's not in your business he
[TS]
00:43:22
◼
►
is in our business oh and it's a kind of
[TS]
00:43:26
◼
►
business that is show business adjacent
[TS]
00:43:30
◼
►
let's let's call it this it's a creative
[TS]
00:43:33
◼
►
he used the home of a creative so this
[TS]
00:43:37
◼
►
friend of mine is a creative and he is a
[TS]
00:43:40
◼
►
creative in the sense in in a way in
[TS]
00:43:43
◼
►
which there are instances where he would
[TS]
00:43:45
◼
►
actually describe himself as a creative
[TS]
00:43:47
◼
►
in a room where he would never break
[TS]
00:43:49
◼
►
character and and everybody in there
[TS]
00:43:51
◼
►
would nod because yes we that's how we
[TS]
00:43:53
◼
►
talk but he also could be in a place
[TS]
00:43:56
◼
►
with me and know not to say not to use
[TS]
00:43:59
◼
►
the word creative that way but he's not
[TS]
00:44:01
◼
►
one of those people that's living a
[TS]
00:44:02
◼
►
double life he is himself everywhere he
[TS]
00:44:04
◼
►
goes self everywhere that he goes he's
[TS]
00:44:08
◼
►
himself everywhere he goes he's not a
[TS]
00:44:09
◼
►
guy that's like sometimes uses the word
[TS]
00:44:11
◼
►
creative and then when he's with his
[TS]
00:44:13
◼
►
friends he rolls his eyes at the words
[TS]
00:44:14
◼
►
they say is not in our
[TS]
00:44:16
◼
►
management he no he's not a faker mm-hmm
[TS]
00:44:18
◼
►
it's just that he understands he's smart
[TS]
00:44:20
◼
►
enough to know when you're with a group
[TS]
00:44:22
◼
►
of people that are don't talk that way
[TS]
00:44:24
◼
►
you don't talk that way right
[TS]
00:44:26
◼
►
that's smart if that's what you know
[TS]
00:44:27
◼
►
that's good for most careers and not all
[TS]
00:44:29
◼
►
of us take up that mantle that's that's
[TS]
00:44:30
◼
►
a good way to roll sure sure right you
[TS]
00:44:33
◼
►
don't you don't open the kimono in a
[TS]
00:44:34
◼
►
room where nobody's wearing a kimono
[TS]
00:44:36
◼
►
mm-hmm full of kimonos that's a very
[TS]
00:44:39
◼
►
awkward thing to ask of people sure
[TS]
00:44:40
◼
►
don't do that either but if you're in a
[TS]
00:44:42
◼
►
room and there's a there and you're
[TS]
00:44:43
◼
►
talking to some VC people and it's a and
[TS]
00:44:46
◼
►
it's a deep dive or a drill down yeah
[TS]
00:44:48
◼
►
it's a scene from the movie Facebook dot
[TS]
00:44:51
◼
►
or Facebook yeah that's a very good
[TS]
00:44:54
◼
►
movie yeah right David David filter
[TS]
00:44:56
◼
►
that's web 2.0 but what what we have
[TS]
00:45:03
◼
►
here is a failure to communicate any man
[TS]
00:45:05
◼
►
doesn't put a spoon back so anyway so he
[TS]
00:45:09
◼
►
is a member this is the thing he's in
[TS]
00:45:12
◼
►
business yeah he's in the business
[TS]
00:45:14
◼
►
he's are creative and he feels like
[TS]
00:45:18
◼
►
because of his position as a as a member
[TS]
00:45:20
◼
►
of the creative class who is also a
[TS]
00:45:24
◼
►
member of the business class that he
[TS]
00:45:26
◼
►
needs to be a member of a lot of things
[TS]
00:45:29
◼
►
because because networking yeah right
[TS]
00:45:33
◼
►
it's like hey we got to have a meeting
[TS]
00:45:35
◼
►
with this and he's like oh well why
[TS]
00:45:37
◼
►
don't we go to X thing that I am a
[TS]
00:45:40
◼
►
member of and then the person who's
[TS]
00:45:42
◼
►
doing business with them is like mm-hmm
[TS]
00:45:44
◼
►
this guy's aha this guy's a roller this
[TS]
00:45:46
◼
►
guy's a player
[TS]
00:45:47
◼
►
oh they this this person speaks my
[TS]
00:45:49
◼
►
language sure this is this world that
[TS]
00:45:51
◼
►
I'm always talking about sort of having
[TS]
00:45:54
◼
►
a toe in this from your father you learn
[TS]
00:45:57
◼
►
from your dad you're a member you're a
[TS]
00:45:59
◼
►
member of this you remember that that's
[TS]
00:46:01
◼
►
how when it's time to make a deal make a
[TS]
00:46:05
◼
►
plan it's like Oh or you remember oh I'm
[TS]
00:46:08
◼
►
a member for long enough I'm pretty soon
[TS]
00:46:10
◼
►
generals you're doing a dance about you
[TS]
00:46:12
◼
►
in drag that's right and actually
[TS]
00:46:14
◼
►
frankly now Merlin yeah I have had
[TS]
00:46:17
◼
►
Admirals do a dance about me so oh we
[TS]
00:46:20
◼
►
you know what we should circle back to
[TS]
00:46:21
◼
►
that I want to hear how all that went
[TS]
00:46:22
◼
►
yeah yeah yeah there's a lot of talk I
[TS]
00:46:24
◼
►
hope we didn't do anything to damage the
[TS]
00:46:25
◼
►
relationship of last year's host because
[TS]
00:46:27
◼
►
I was very sad I was like within days
[TS]
00:46:29
◼
►
of us talking about that nice couple
[TS]
00:46:31
◼
►
they announce them we're going to be
[TS]
00:46:32
◼
►
together anymore my good name names but
[TS]
00:46:36
◼
►
the people who had the people who were
[TS]
00:46:38
◼
►
the king last year yeah I hope we didn't
[TS]
00:46:49
◼
►
do that dance for you and this is a
[TS]
00:46:54
◼
►
person who's industry adjacent who knows
[TS]
00:46:57
◼
►
when to use creative kimonos and knows
[TS]
00:46:59
◼
►
when to not yep and who has the social
[TS]
00:47:04
◼
►
lubricant see to know which kind of
[TS]
00:47:06
◼
►
places to take people when deals are to
[TS]
00:47:07
◼
►
be cut in lines that are dotted need to
[TS]
00:47:09
◼
►
be signed that's right and he has leaned
[TS]
00:47:11
◼
►
in right leaning but but he also knows
[TS]
00:47:17
◼
►
yeah wall to who hid buy cheese that's
[TS]
00:47:20
◼
►
right right he knows on a Tuesday
[TS]
00:47:22
◼
►
afternoon mm-hmm he knows how to hide
[TS]
00:47:24
◼
►
the cheese he knows where he had the
[TS]
00:47:26
◼
►
Dinos it you gotta remember where you
[TS]
00:47:27
◼
►
put it when you moved it that's right
[TS]
00:47:29
◼
►
and he knows who's cheesie's movement
[TS]
00:47:31
◼
►
that's the book I want to read I move
[TS]
00:47:32
◼
►
your cheese fuck you exactly you wanna
[TS]
00:47:35
◼
►
know where your cheese's yeah you talk
[TS]
00:47:37
◼
►
to me B I'm not telling you where your
[TS]
00:47:38
◼
►
cheese's so he's a member and he has he
[TS]
00:47:44
◼
►
said he's confided in me he's like you
[TS]
00:47:46
◼
►
know this all this membership and it's
[TS]
00:47:49
◼
►
it's fucking breaking the bank
[TS]
00:47:50
◼
►
I don't want to be members of all these
[TS]
00:47:52
◼
►
things it's expensive did you get used a
[TS]
00:47:55
◼
►
lot but it's but it's a business expense
[TS]
00:47:58
◼
►
because I cuz pretty much you gotta be
[TS]
00:48:01
◼
►
members in these things because if
[TS]
00:48:02
◼
►
somebody hires Beyonce to play as
[TS]
00:48:05
◼
►
daughter's 16th birthday party yeah am I
[TS]
00:48:07
◼
►
gonna not be a member of that or am I
[TS]
00:48:09
◼
►
gonna be a member of course I'm gonna
[TS]
00:48:10
◼
►
remember yes so she's very talented she
[TS]
00:48:14
◼
►
is and it's very expensive to hire her
[TS]
00:48:16
◼
►
to do things oh also honest on that
[TS]
00:48:17
◼
►
topic just very briefly him on the on
[TS]
00:48:21
◼
►
the program I do with damn Benjamin I
[TS]
00:48:23
◼
►
don't have a ton of podcasts I'm not
[TS]
00:48:25
◼
►
like some people yeah but I have one
[TS]
00:48:28
◼
►
other one yeah with your good friend Dan
[TS]
00:48:30
◼
►
Benjamin he just shook off road work
[TS]
00:48:32
◼
►
which he can find it 5x5 TV that's right
[TS]
00:48:34
◼
►
any a Dan is a guy that you introduced
[TS]
00:48:36
◼
►
me to yes I said on that program that
[TS]
00:48:40
◼
►
you know I don't like playing shows
[TS]
00:48:42
◼
►
uh very much but if somebody wants to
[TS]
00:48:46
◼
►
pay me to play a show I'm not gonna say
[TS]
00:48:49
◼
►
no right you're not gonna stone right
[TS]
00:48:51
◼
►
and Dan says Oh what does that mean and
[TS]
00:48:53
◼
►
I said well like that's that birthday
[TS]
00:48:55
◼
►
party I played for the Starbucks guy the
[TS]
00:48:58
◼
►
only reason I played the Starbucks guy's
[TS]
00:49:00
◼
►
birthday party I mean he convinced me
[TS]
00:49:02
◼
►
that he was that the long winners were
[TS]
00:49:03
◼
►
his favorite band mm-hmm but he but he
[TS]
00:49:06
◼
►
also he said I want you to play my
[TS]
00:49:08
◼
►
birthday party and I said that's not a
[TS]
00:49:09
◼
►
thing that I will ever do and he said
[TS]
00:49:12
◼
►
how much would it cost to have you do it
[TS]
00:49:14
◼
►
and I so then you're familiar with this
[TS]
00:49:16
◼
►
concept yeah my car I'm already familiar
[TS]
00:49:18
◼
►
with this concept right the fuck you
[TS]
00:49:20
◼
►
money right you say well pay me fuck you
[TS]
00:49:23
◼
►
it's an event event you don't want to do
[TS]
00:49:26
◼
►
for people you're not necessarily that
[TS]
00:49:27
◼
►
attached to you're pretty sure it'll go
[TS]
00:49:29
◼
►
badly it might be disruptive it's any of
[TS]
00:49:31
◼
►
those things the red flags are flying
[TS]
00:49:33
◼
►
everywhere on the field and you go well
[TS]
00:49:37
◼
►
and the thing about you is I remember
[TS]
00:49:39
◼
►
when you started introducing the concept
[TS]
00:49:41
◼
►
of fuck you money and people started
[TS]
00:49:42
◼
►
paying it to you and then you were like
[TS]
00:49:43
◼
►
you know what I'm gonna charge even more
[TS]
00:49:45
◼
►
fuck you money because I don't want to
[TS]
00:49:47
◼
►
do these things and people paid you that
[TS]
00:49:49
◼
►
well I mean it started a pretty small
[TS]
00:49:52
◼
►
level but yeah but pretty you got to up
[TS]
00:49:54
◼
►
to some fucking money and then I then I
[TS]
00:49:56
◼
►
was there I remember the day when you
[TS]
00:49:57
◼
►
were like there is no amount of fucking
[TS]
00:49:59
◼
►
money you could buy me a boat and I
[TS]
00:50:02
◼
►
still won't do this because because
[TS]
00:50:04
◼
►
that's a whole show but you gotta know
[TS]
00:50:07
◼
►
you got to know when I say what you're
[TS]
00:50:08
◼
►
worth I don't I mean partly yeah I mean
[TS]
00:50:10
◼
►
with the market and yeah i partly mean
[TS]
00:50:12
◼
►
like what's what's fair to everybody but
[TS]
00:50:13
◼
►
it's also like the 10,000 things you
[TS]
00:50:16
◼
►
will not be doing when you're doing that
[TS]
00:50:17
◼
►
thing and the maybe 50,000 things you're
[TS]
00:50:20
◼
►
not doing in the run-up to that because
[TS]
00:50:21
◼
►
they can't pay a deposit yeah yeah well
[TS]
00:50:25
◼
►
so anyway immediately after that show
[TS]
00:50:28
◼
►
airs I get an email from from a nice gal
[TS]
00:50:31
◼
►
and she says uh I want you to play my
[TS]
00:50:35
◼
►
eye we heard your podcast I want you to
[TS]
00:50:37
◼
►
play my husband's I want you to play for
[TS]
00:50:39
◼
►
my boyfriend I guess she said Wow
[TS]
00:50:41
◼
►
and I was like I wrote her back and I
[TS]
00:50:44
◼
►
said listen you sound like a nice lady
[TS]
00:50:46
◼
►
yeah but I don't think you were reaiiy
[TS]
00:50:47
◼
►
don't think you heard what I was saying
[TS]
00:50:49
◼
►
there's no way I'm gonna play for your
[TS]
00:50:52
◼
►
husband or your boyfriend because
[TS]
00:50:54
◼
►
there's just it's just
[TS]
00:50:56
◼
►
I you know like I don't want to I don't
[TS]
00:50:58
◼
►
want seriously thank you for writing and
[TS]
00:51:01
◼
►
she wrote back very calm and cool and
[TS]
00:51:03
◼
►
she was like but seriously like how much
[TS]
00:51:07
◼
►
how much mm-hm and so I wrote her back
[TS]
00:51:09
◼
►
and I said look here's the thing
[TS]
00:51:11
◼
►
plumbers make bids musicians consider
[TS]
00:51:17
◼
►
offers oh I see so I'm not gonna bid on
[TS]
00:51:21
◼
►
this thing that you want like a because
[TS]
00:51:23
◼
►
I'm not you know you just moved her
[TS]
00:51:26
◼
►
cheese I just moved the cheese a little
[TS]
00:51:28
◼
►
bit move the cheese because what you
[TS]
00:51:30
◼
►
don't want to do is say uh two hundred
[TS]
00:51:32
◼
►
dollars to somebody who was thinking
[TS]
00:51:34
◼
►
twenty thousand dollars right because
[TS]
00:51:36
◼
►
then they're gonna go oh shit yeah
[TS]
00:51:38
◼
►
moneybags let's start first if you say
[TS]
00:51:42
◼
►
twenty thousand dollars to somebody that
[TS]
00:51:43
◼
►
was thinking $200 huh
[TS]
00:51:45
◼
►
you know really get you yeah there are
[TS]
00:51:47
◼
►
out on now they're on LiveJournal right
[TS]
00:51:49
◼
►
now writing a blog about your about your
[TS]
00:51:52
◼
►
writer anyway so I said you know make it
[TS]
00:51:56
◼
►
bit so she comes back nice gal makes a
[TS]
00:52:00
◼
►
bid and I was like huh that's in the
[TS]
00:52:04
◼
►
ballpark okay I didn't immediately turn
[TS]
00:52:06
◼
►
you off or make ego no it was it wasn't
[TS]
00:52:09
◼
►
it was in the ballpark so I wrote her
[TS]
00:52:11
◼
►
back and said you know throw like three
[TS]
00:52:13
◼
►
five pound bag of M&Ms and and your
[TS]
00:52:16
◼
►
engagement ring and and we got a deal
[TS]
00:52:19
◼
►
and she was like done just like one word
[TS]
00:52:22
◼
►
done mmm
[TS]
00:52:23
◼
►
can I remember and so it was for the
[TS]
00:52:27
◼
►
next day or two days later so I got in
[TS]
00:52:29
◼
►
my car and I drove several hours to this
[TS]
00:52:32
◼
►
place and I show up and I walk into this
[TS]
00:52:36
◼
►
house and none of the people knew I was
[TS]
00:52:38
◼
►
coming except for her well wait a minute
[TS]
00:52:41
◼
►
it was a situation where they were about
[TS]
00:52:43
◼
►
ten or eleven people there they're like
[TS]
00:52:47
◼
►
seven guys and four women and I think if
[TS]
00:52:51
◼
►
I'm correct all the women knew that this
[TS]
00:52:53
◼
►
was happening oh what a nice present yes
[TS]
00:52:56
◼
►
none of isn't and they were longtime
[TS]
00:52:58
◼
►
fans and I sat down in the living room
[TS]
00:53:01
◼
►
and there were two grown-up men that
[TS]
00:53:04
◼
►
were in your in my age range this is
[TS]
00:53:06
◼
►
gonna turn into a key party and then
[TS]
00:53:08
◼
►
- then like three of their sons who were
[TS]
00:53:11
◼
►
between nineteen and you know thirty or
[TS]
00:53:14
◼
►
something huh and everybody knew
[TS]
00:53:17
◼
►
everything right they all knew all the
[TS]
00:53:19
◼
►
songs they all knew all the podcasts oh
[TS]
00:53:21
◼
►
what a dream and I sat down and I was
[TS]
00:53:24
◼
►
like hi nice to meet you and they were
[TS]
00:53:25
◼
►
and you know and the wives were teasing
[TS]
00:53:27
◼
►
them the wives were like they're
[TS]
00:53:29
◼
►
freaking out right now that you can't
[TS]
00:53:30
◼
►
tell but they're freaking out and the
[TS]
00:53:31
◼
►
guys were did not appear to be freaky
[TS]
00:53:33
◼
►
and they were to help yeah they were
[TS]
00:53:35
◼
►
like but there wasn't even that like
[TS]
00:53:37
◼
►
knock it off they were just like they
[TS]
00:53:39
◼
►
everybody seemed normal super normal
[TS]
00:53:42
◼
►
and also like super great I sat down and
[TS]
00:53:46
◼
►
I was like all right what do you want me
[TS]
00:53:47
◼
►
to play and between them they each
[TS]
00:53:51
◼
►
pitched a few songs all of the songs
[TS]
00:53:56
◼
►
totally great like totally unexpected
[TS]
00:53:59
◼
►
choices and each time I was like alright
[TS]
00:54:02
◼
►
well that was great now what about the
[TS]
00:54:03
◼
►
next song somebody came up with another
[TS]
00:54:06
◼
►
and they weren't trying to be obscure
[TS]
00:54:08
◼
►
they were naming their favorite songs
[TS]
00:54:10
◼
►
and it just so happened that it was a
[TS]
00:54:11
◼
►
completely great weird setlist that I
[TS]
00:54:14
◼
►
never would have otherwise played a
[TS]
00:54:15
◼
►
couple of them I could I had to remember
[TS]
00:54:17
◼
►
how to play as I was playing them played
[TS]
00:54:20
◼
►
played the the set and then the you know
[TS]
00:54:24
◼
►
like chief gal in charge was like
[TS]
00:54:27
◼
►
alright well that's great now we got to
[TS]
00:54:28
◼
►
go because we're meeting some other
[TS]
00:54:30
◼
►
people because there's a wedding this
[TS]
00:54:31
◼
►
weekend and so it wasn't it wasn't
[TS]
00:54:33
◼
►
secretly a hangout opportunity well and
[TS]
00:54:36
◼
►
so that's bad that's bad but she was
[TS]
00:54:39
◼
►
like she was like that was great done
[TS]
00:54:40
◼
►
and done and I said and they were like
[TS]
00:54:43
◼
►
going to dinner at some food truck
[TS]
00:54:45
◼
►
Corral or something I said hey you know
[TS]
00:54:47
◼
►
what I'll join you guys for dinner
[TS]
00:54:48
◼
►
because they said we're good fine and
[TS]
00:54:53
◼
►
it's not like well I mean we went to a
[TS]
00:54:54
◼
►
food truck growl and each got our own
[TS]
00:54:56
◼
►
food and then sat together 1/8 off paper
[TS]
00:54:58
◼
►
plates but but and I brought you know I
[TS]
00:55:00
◼
►
brought some gifts I brought I brought
[TS]
00:55:03
◼
►
her boyfriend a couple of candles things
[TS]
00:55:05
◼
►
I could see you being so good at this
[TS]
00:55:07
◼
►
and and then I was back at my car and I
[TS]
00:55:09
◼
►
was back home by midnight and I was like
[TS]
00:55:12
◼
►
oh that works there just is that you
[TS]
00:55:15
◼
►
know like all I had to do was say that I
[TS]
00:55:17
◼
►
would do it and then somebody basically
[TS]
00:55:20
◼
►
understood that that was a
[TS]
00:55:22
◼
►
dare and said all right sure like this
[TS]
00:55:26
◼
►
would be worth it for me to have you do
[TS]
00:55:28
◼
►
this as a gift to the people that I love
[TS]
00:55:30
◼
►
and did it just she she was just
[TS]
00:55:33
◼
►
nonplussed I mean I I basically wrote
[TS]
00:55:36
◼
►
her a couple of times it was like lady
[TS]
00:55:38
◼
►
like go away and she was like no not
[TS]
00:55:42
◼
►
gonna go away tell me what you tell me
[TS]
00:55:43
◼
►
and I was like ah fine and then by the
[TS]
00:55:45
◼
►
end we were like fine both of us and it
[TS]
00:55:48
◼
►
was super fun it would actually ended up
[TS]
00:55:50
◼
►
being very fun it was nice to meet these
[TS]
00:55:52
◼
►
people I enjoyed their choices
[TS]
00:55:55
◼
►
I brought him to candlesticks Wow two of
[TS]
00:56:00
◼
►
those a week buddy right be nice to
[TS]
00:56:02
◼
►
those a week that's all you need
[TS]
00:56:04
◼
►
well shit to a month I'd be happy hmm so
[TS]
00:56:09
◼
►
anyway that was a very I mean a little
[TS]
00:56:11
◼
►
bit of a digression but not know I
[TS]
00:56:12
◼
►
realize I hope in her for me about like
[TS]
00:56:15
◼
►
right right right there is a there is a
[TS]
00:56:17
◼
►
place out in space an x-point where
[TS]
00:56:21
◼
►
somebody says cuz there are a lot of
[TS]
00:56:22
◼
►
people even people listening to this
[TS]
00:56:24
◼
►
program right now who are like maybe
[TS]
00:56:25
◼
►
he'll come play my birthday party for
[TS]
00:56:27
◼
►
$200 and I will not and it's not a thing
[TS]
00:56:30
◼
►
we're only rich people get good things
[TS]
00:56:33
◼
►
because you can get a Yeti bag for free
[TS]
00:56:36
◼
►
from a guy in Alabama if you just play
[TS]
00:56:38
◼
►
your cards where we come to hodgman's
[TS]
00:56:40
◼
►
corollary which I don't totally buy into
[TS]
00:56:41
◼
►
but I respect for John Hodgman hodgman's
[TS]
00:56:43
◼
►
corollary is that the corollary to I'd
[TS]
00:56:46
◼
►
never hurts to ask
[TS]
00:56:47
◼
►
as you know what is a hodgman's
[TS]
00:56:49
◼
►
corollary oh who says I give you $200
[TS]
00:57:01
◼
►
yeah that's more money than I would ever
[TS]
00:57:02
◼
►
give for something like this so guess
[TS]
00:57:03
◼
►
what now you're not getting paid you're
[TS]
00:57:05
◼
►
spending that time and guess what now
[TS]
00:57:06
◼
►
you're the asshole yeah yeah well I
[TS]
00:57:09
◼
►
always tell the story about the time
[TS]
00:57:10
◼
►
that I had saved up 500 dollars to give
[TS]
00:57:12
◼
►
you for building the long winters
[TS]
00:57:13
◼
►
website and and I was like Stan I was
[TS]
00:57:17
◼
►
like basically standing there with it in
[TS]
00:57:19
◼
►
an envelope behind my back like I'm
[TS]
00:57:20
◼
►
gonna blow merlyn's mine and give him
[TS]
00:57:22
◼
►
$500 to talk to you about the website
[TS]
00:57:27
◼
►
and you said let me stop you right there
[TS]
00:57:30
◼
►
I built that website because I love you
[TS]
00:57:33
◼
►
and I love your band and if you are
[TS]
00:57:35
◼
►
let's say for instance hand me an
[TS]
00:57:37
◼
►
envelope like let's say for instance
[TS]
00:57:38
◼
►
five hundred dollars in it it would just
[TS]
00:57:41
◼
►
be hard for me and you both not
[TS]
00:57:46
◼
►
discharged is dead so let me just say in
[TS]
00:57:50
◼
►
this instance let me just dissuade you
[TS]
00:57:53
◼
►
if that is even what you're about to
[TS]
00:57:55
◼
►
start talking about five hundred dollars
[TS]
00:58:06
◼
►
and it just went into the so arrogant
[TS]
00:58:11
◼
►
I'm so sorry
[TS]
00:58:11
◼
►
knows it was very instructive work I did
[TS]
00:58:16
◼
►
for you is between twenty-five and fifty
[TS]
00:58:17
◼
►
thousand dollars worth of work and I
[TS]
00:58:19
◼
►
would never ask you to pay for it but
[TS]
00:58:21
◼
►
also yeah you're talking about this
[TS]
00:58:24
◼
►
since the our first public broadcast
[TS]
00:58:28
◼
►
together on my old video show that in
[TS]
00:58:30
◼
►
many ways are our businesses such as
[TS]
00:58:32
◼
►
they are are very similar and one of the
[TS]
00:58:34
◼
►
ways in which they're similar is that
[TS]
00:58:35
◼
►
nobody wants to pay you a because be it
[TS]
00:58:38
◼
►
all seems really easy and fun right like
[TS]
00:58:39
◼
►
oh you really love playing your music
[TS]
00:58:41
◼
►
you get to travel you get to meet people
[TS]
00:58:42
◼
►
you could craft services and you know
[TS]
00:58:45
◼
►
that's that we used to be a real
[TS]
00:58:47
◼
►
struggle for me and so when I would
[TS]
00:58:49
◼
►
throw that particular shape that is on
[TS]
00:58:52
◼
►
the basis of the preceding 15 years of
[TS]
00:58:55
◼
►
going sure I'm just glad you love me $50
[TS]
00:58:58
◼
►
should be more than enough and what the
[TS]
00:59:00
◼
►
thing is if you do that gosh guess what
[TS]
00:59:02
◼
►
a nice guy what a nice guy he made the
[TS]
00:59:04
◼
►
site for this mall for $50.00 what a
[TS]
00:59:06
◼
►
nice guy the thing is now I mean you
[TS]
00:59:10
◼
►
have turned your life into a living hell
[TS]
00:59:11
◼
►
how many people how many clients like
[TS]
00:59:14
◼
►
that can you afford to have before you
[TS]
00:59:15
◼
►
just simply don't have a life anymore
[TS]
00:59:17
◼
►
well it might know the realization I had
[TS]
00:59:20
◼
►
somewhere along the line which was when
[TS]
00:59:21
◼
►
people said oh all we can afford is this
[TS]
00:59:23
◼
►
we'd love to have you yeah and then you
[TS]
00:59:26
◼
►
write they say that's that's the red
[TS]
00:59:28
◼
►
line this is it as much money there's no
[TS]
00:59:31
◼
►
nickel more more and you write back and
[TS]
00:59:33
◼
►
say the leather the smallest amount I
[TS]
00:59:35
◼
►
could do it for is twice what you're
[TS]
00:59:37
◼
►
offering yeah and they're like okay I
[TS]
00:59:39
◼
►
think we can make it work and you go oh
[TS]
00:59:40
◼
►
I see everyone's a liar I guess I didn't
[TS]
00:59:46
◼
►
know that before I mean I should
[TS]
00:59:48
◼
►
Posey's wrote that song everybody
[TS]
00:59:52
◼
►
fucking sick of getting shortchanged
[TS]
00:59:55
◼
►
yeah they were like shit are you kidding
[TS]
00:59:57
◼
►
me all this time there was twice as much
[TS]
01:00:00
◼
►
let me go ask my manager uh uh asteroids
[TS]
01:00:03
◼
►
yeah so I'm not above saying to somebody
[TS]
01:00:07
◼
►
um would you leave your job and wife and
[TS]
01:00:12
◼
►
daughter to fly across the country for
[TS]
01:00:14
◼
►
three days for this amount ago well of
[TS]
01:00:16
◼
►
course I would I said well then that's
[TS]
01:00:17
◼
►
not smart because if you really thought
[TS]
01:00:19
◼
►
about that that's not such a good deal
[TS]
01:00:20
◼
►
yes you make in a day of your work at
[TS]
01:00:23
◼
►
your job yeah that's right so so anyway
[TS]
01:00:27
◼
►
yeah now I'm now I'm trying to figure
[TS]
01:00:29
◼
►
out like yeah there's uh you know
[TS]
01:00:32
◼
►
anybody you need these they're not a
[TS]
01:00:34
◼
►
sponsor this week but you need a
[TS]
01:00:36
◼
►
Squarespace one-page website John's
[TS]
01:00:39
◼
►
bespoke entertainment services hmm and
[TS]
01:00:41
◼
►
don't don't overdo it you should
[TS]
01:00:42
◼
►
probably have a kid maybe an intern who
[TS]
01:00:44
◼
►
monitors this for you and you just say
[TS]
01:00:46
◼
►
make me an offer
[TS]
01:00:47
◼
►
here's what I'll do I'll come and hang
[TS]
01:00:49
◼
►
out play some songs you know what I'll
[TS]
01:00:50
◼
►
do I'm John Roderick I'm just fuckin
[TS]
01:00:52
◼
►
Roderick yeah but see here's the thing
[TS]
01:00:53
◼
►
right I mean I have a relationship with
[TS]
01:00:55
◼
►
a booking age and I don't want to
[TS]
01:00:56
◼
►
formalize this process because because
[TS]
01:00:58
◼
►
at a certain point he's gonna say are
[TS]
01:01:00
◼
►
you playing house show house shows are
[TS]
01:01:02
◼
►
you bitches on not a thing I'm do I do
[TS]
01:01:05
◼
►
not play out shows here's the thing boy
[TS]
01:01:07
◼
►
you ain't with Dave would that be fun oh
[TS]
01:01:08
◼
►
my gosh
[TS]
01:01:09
◼
►
what it be is it would be we would be
[TS]
01:01:11
◼
►
splitting an amount of money that's
[TS]
01:01:12
◼
►
already too small but the thing is I
[TS]
01:01:17
◼
►
don't play house shows I did not I would
[TS]
01:01:20
◼
►
never come down to a town to play a show
[TS]
01:01:23
◼
►
for your boyfriend no I wouldn't do it
[TS]
01:01:26
◼
►
something I see right in rare instances
[TS]
01:01:30
◼
►
I will do it but it's the rare instance
[TS]
01:01:35
◼
►
it's not a thing that I'm like hey I'm
[TS]
01:01:37
◼
►
putting out my shingle I'm open for
[TS]
01:01:39
◼
►
business here you know I'm I know what I
[TS]
01:01:42
◼
►
would draw the suggestion you're
[TS]
01:01:43
◼
►
absolutely right
[TS]
01:01:44
◼
►
sorry Squarespace no it's all right I'll
[TS]
01:01:46
◼
►
have Squarespace first do something else
[TS]
01:01:48
◼
►
because I got it because right now I've
[TS]
01:01:50
◼
►
got it I've got a lot of assistants I've
[TS]
01:01:53
◼
►
got a lot of assistants that are queuing
[TS]
01:01:54
◼
►
up watch some great some great great
[TS]
01:01:57
◼
►
assistants huh because I put the call
[TS]
01:02:00
◼
►
out for assistance again oh no chime oh
[TS]
01:02:04
◼
►
I don't just I feel like don't have
[TS]
01:02:06
◼
►
anybody move I got I got 22 pairs of
[TS]
01:02:10
◼
►
Levi's are they local then Levi's yeah
[TS]
01:02:13
◼
►
they're in the bathroom floor okay what
[TS]
01:02:15
◼
►
what about the potential assistance
[TS]
01:02:16
◼
►
babies is it gonna be somebody in Wales
[TS]
01:02:19
◼
►
most of them are in other places but
[TS]
01:02:22
◼
►
there's one person that's in Seattle I'm
[TS]
01:02:24
◼
►
like your personal Cassandra I cut out
[TS]
01:02:27
◼
►
all the parts where I warned you about
[TS]
01:02:28
◼
►
things John I cut it all out I cut it
[TS]
01:02:30
◼
►
all out
[TS]
01:02:30
◼
►
I I you know you know the supercut I
[TS]
01:02:32
◼
►
could make up are you really sure you
[TS]
01:02:34
◼
►
want to do that if that goes perfectly
[TS]
01:02:36
◼
►
that assistant come over they're gonna
[TS]
01:02:57
◼
►
say let me take care of these jeans for
[TS]
01:02:59
◼
►
you boss and then they're gonna come
[TS]
01:03:00
◼
►
back all perfectly repaired
[TS]
01:03:02
◼
►
oh my go how did it happen how did you
[TS]
01:03:04
◼
►
do it and they're gonna say they're
[TS]
01:03:05
◼
►
gonna they're gonna like Winkle their
[TS]
01:03:07
◼
►
nose like a little genie yeah and I'm
[TS]
01:03:12
◼
►
gonna go what the Wow I got the best
[TS]
01:03:14
◼
►
assistant ever
[TS]
01:03:15
◼
►
you know you know and it definitely
[TS]
01:03:17
◼
►
won't be what it definitely won't be if
[TS]
01:03:18
◼
►
somebody's not making enough money to
[TS]
01:03:20
◼
►
really put their back into it kind of
[TS]
01:03:21
◼
►
half-asses it and then doesn't doesn't
[TS]
01:03:23
◼
►
really do it right you got to do it
[TS]
01:03:24
◼
►
yourself again that won't happen no
[TS]
01:03:28
◼
►
training program you'll set up some
[TS]
01:03:30
◼
►
desks people come in right well so I did
[TS]
01:03:33
◼
►
do that that didn't work but what's nice
[TS]
01:03:35
◼
►
about so far everybody that has replied
[TS]
01:03:38
◼
►
seems like a very professional person
[TS]
01:03:40
◼
►
with a lot of talents and skills if you
[TS]
01:03:42
◼
►
look at their Facebook pages yeah mostly
[TS]
01:03:45
◼
►
and they all seem like they're all legit
[TS]
01:03:48
◼
►
their jobs you look for complaints about
[TS]
01:03:51
◼
►
old jobs I feel like it's a situation
[TS]
01:03:54
◼
►
where they're like look I can build this
[TS]
01:03:55
◼
►
website for you for $50,000 or for free
[TS]
01:03:57
◼
►
which one do you want yeah I don't know
[TS]
01:04:00
◼
►
I don't know it free I haven't gone I
[TS]
01:04:03
◼
►
haven't gone deeper with anybody yet
[TS]
01:04:05
◼
►
I've gotten the emails I've written them
[TS]
01:04:07
◼
►
bet back I think mostly I wrote
[TS]
01:04:08
◼
►
everybody back and said Wow amazing you
[TS]
01:04:11
◼
►
seem amazing cuz they all did you need a
[TS]
01:04:13
◼
►
dick chaney you need somebody to be the
[TS]
01:04:15
◼
►
assistant who helps you pick out who
[TS]
01:04:16
◼
►
your assistant should be well this is
[TS]
01:04:18
◼
►
the problem the last time that happened
[TS]
01:04:19
◼
►
she picked out herself full Cheney yeah
[TS]
01:04:23
◼
►
she did
[TS]
01:04:25
◼
►
quoting that correctly yeah he said the
[TS]
01:04:27
◼
►
best candidate for vice president is me
[TS]
01:04:30
◼
►
and then he was the starting 60 war that
[TS]
01:04:42
◼
►
is man-sized vault in his office yeah
[TS]
01:04:45
◼
►
incredible incredible that's still an
[TS]
01:04:48
◼
►
incredible story to me that the entire
[TS]
01:04:50
◼
►
Bush administration existed it's doable
[TS]
01:04:53
◼
►
okay now here's a question for you it
[TS]
01:04:58
◼
►
does are there any principles to be
[TS]
01:05:01
◼
►
gleaned from the fancy enough window
[TS]
01:05:03
◼
►
that you could apply to the way that you
[TS]
01:05:05
◼
►
abduct a new intern is there a fancy
[TS]
01:05:09
◼
►
enough window through which these people
[TS]
01:05:10
◼
►
should pass well that's the thing like
[TS]
01:05:13
◼
►
one time I was reading back over some
[TS]
01:05:15
◼
►
resumes that I received the last time I
[TS]
01:05:17
◼
►
did this and a couple of them were like
[TS]
01:05:19
◼
►
I am a professional office manager who
[TS]
01:05:23
◼
►
used to work for NASA I'm the person
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01:05:26
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that's responsible for the life-support
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systems of the astronauts and and I
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01:05:31
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heard that you're looking for an
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assistant and it's like because why and
[TS]
01:05:35
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you got to work here why that's well but
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01:05:38
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it's just you know that's the thing
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01:05:40
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about our podcast it goes out and says
[TS]
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the world we can't do we can't I guess
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01:05:43
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it does I don't don't hear much about it
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01:05:45
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I hear occasionally yeah I don't I can't
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even follow it anymore sometimes so
[TS]
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twice a year I hear that somebody I
[TS]
01:05:51
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didn't know listens to it let me top
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there yes do you think so do you think
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01:05:55
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it's out there do you listen to the
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program people listen to the program
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01:06:00
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then they then they are but they're
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there in their own place right they're
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01:06:03
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sitting there under their potato tree
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01:06:11
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just like the back of my limo John and
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01:06:15
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Merlin live out in in space somewhere
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and oh so the other day I'm sitting here
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01:06:22
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I get a text message from my sisters
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01:06:24
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good friend Kenna Kenna says I'm in
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01:06:26
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Australia I was doing a podcast with
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01:06:29
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some people turns out they're rotting on
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01:06:31
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the line fans shut your mouth and they
[TS]
01:06:33
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want to say hello so then she's seen me
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01:06:35
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position to help us get a phoney award
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01:06:37
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here's the thing so they send me a bid
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01:06:39
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and it's three very nice people in
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01:06:41
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Australia with those delightful
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delightful Australian accent hospitai
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quality accent right there just like
[TS]
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little koala bears and they say you know
[TS]
01:06:51
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that's a shrimp they're having a little
[TS]
01:07:17
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they're having a little moment with each
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other because I think they probably are
[TS]
01:07:20
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thinking oh right this woman's from
[TS]
01:07:23
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Seattle we said just hilariously like oh
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do you know john roderick she says as a
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matter of fact I do
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and then she points her camera at us and
[TS]
01:07:32
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so they're like hi you know what's up
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01:07:34
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John we're big fans and she says what
[TS]
01:07:36
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would you say to John if he could say
[TS]
01:07:38
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anything and one of them says well I'd
[TS]
01:07:40
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like to know if any of those stories are
[TS]
01:07:42
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immediately infuriate that makes you so
[TS]
01:07:45
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angry John bad so then they're like
[TS]
01:07:47
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la-de-da-de-da at one point they say
[TS]
01:07:49
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about the woman that's a member of their
[TS]
01:07:51
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little triumvirate they say like oh she
[TS]
01:07:54
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has a nickname for you which is the year
[TS]
01:07:56
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her Tuesday husband because if she was
[TS]
01:07:58
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ever gonna have a if she was ever gonna
[TS]
01:08:00
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have an affair on her actual husband it
[TS]
01:08:02
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would be with you lovely compliment
[TS]
01:08:04
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that's such a nice note Wow Tuesday
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01:08:06
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husband I feel like that's part of
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01:08:08
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Australian culture that's a thing that
[TS]
01:08:09
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they might say down there these days
[TS]
01:08:11
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they said it with such ease that I was
[TS]
01:08:12
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like Tuesday husband is that an
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01:08:14
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australian coinage that's good
[TS]
01:08:16
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who's your Tuesday husband and it's me
[TS]
01:08:21
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in this case so I immediately make a
[TS]
01:08:23
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little video myself which I would
[TS]
01:08:26
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absolutely never do uh-huh
[TS]
01:08:28
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it's not a thing I do or would ever do
[TS]
01:08:30
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but I did in this instance because I was
[TS]
01:08:32
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mad and I said are my stories true are
[TS]
01:08:36
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my stories true this is the thing that
[TS]
01:08:38
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you dare to say to me you ding-a-lings
[TS]
01:08:41
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are my story's truth my stories are even
[TS]
01:08:44
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truer than I tell I don't tell the real
[TS]
01:08:46
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true story cuz Merlyn doesn't want to
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01:08:47
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hear it
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01:08:48
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yeah no I understand you're like Milton
[TS]
01:08:50
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Berle you just take out enough to beat
[TS]
01:08:51
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him like you don't have
[TS]
01:08:53
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like if I told you this whole story you
[TS]
01:08:55
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know what it would be some kind of Lord
[TS]
01:08:56
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of the Rings situation being claims if I
[TS]
01:08:58
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told you the truth yeah you'd be
[TS]
01:09:00
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engulfed in flames everybody else would
[TS]
01:09:02
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too I'd be in jail if I told you the
[TS]
01:09:03
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whole story he'd never sleep again so I
[TS]
01:09:05
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send this thing to them oh and then
[TS]
01:09:08
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another thing I said in my thing was
[TS]
01:09:09
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listen jerks you're down there in
[TS]
01:09:12
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Australia why have you not done it
[TS]
01:09:14
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Europe you you are you are podcasters in
[TS]
01:09:17
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Australia why have you not brought us to
[TS]
01:09:19
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Australia there's not one country that
[TS]
01:09:21
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is officially sanctioned to give away
[TS]
01:09:23
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the fake of the fake podcaster word
[TS]
01:09:24
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called the phony and that is Australia
[TS]
01:09:26
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yep that's right and so then they send
[TS]
01:09:29
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another video back and they're like and
[TS]
01:09:32
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I didn't even say about I didn't even
[TS]
01:09:34
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talk about the phony Awards I said if
[TS]
01:09:36
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you listen to Roderick on the line you
[TS]
01:09:37
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know your job you already know your job
[TS]
01:09:40
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►
hmm you're failing and so they write
[TS]
01:09:43
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back in there like oh well invite you
[TS]
01:09:44
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down to the head phony Awards and now
[TS]
01:09:46
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I'm just steaming mad because they're
[TS]
01:09:49
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now they're having fun with doing that
[TS]
01:09:51
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in your face when they should have been
[TS]
01:09:53
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working this whole time so that's again
[TS]
01:09:57
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another thing I would never do mm-hmm
[TS]
01:09:59
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but like as far away that is I'm doing
[TS]
01:10:03
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it now so far away we're just from SF 2
[TS]
01:10:08
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in this case New Zealand 15 hour flight
[TS]
01:10:10
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yeah that's too much flight well so with
[TS]
01:10:14
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a four-year-old so it's baked in women
[TS]
01:10:18
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you'll be there of us have a four year
[TS]
01:10:19
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old two-month the time oh I see right do
[TS]
01:10:21
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so baked into the head phony awards is
[TS]
01:10:25
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comfortable travel to there right I just
[TS]
01:10:27
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got stats right on the tin it's a bear
[TS]
01:10:29
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it's right on the barbie that bear
[TS]
01:10:31
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minimum you're not gonna put us back in
[TS]
01:10:32
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steerage they came in 8th when they
[TS]
01:10:34
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those nice people from New Zealand flew
[TS]
01:10:36
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me out for that talk where I cried they
[TS]
01:10:38
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put us in like the like a like a
[TS]
01:10:40
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business class II thing and it was
[TS]
01:10:41
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►
amazing I see you do you got that's
[TS]
01:10:44
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►
that's that's just a bare minimum what
[TS]
01:10:45
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►
everybody and you know what that was
[TS]
01:10:47
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►
that was died negotiated that my friend
[TS]
01:10:49
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something he bring his family were back
[TS]
01:10:50
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in coach and I felt really bad but but
[TS]
01:10:52
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but no I mean you kidding me we're
[TS]
01:10:54
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bringing the family bringing the family
[TS]
01:10:56
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you've had this well bring your get all
[TS]
01:10:57
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John John you love your guitar and your
[TS]
01:10:59
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family bring your guitar and your family
[TS]
01:11:01
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just come on over yeah yeah yeah
[TS]
01:11:04
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no no no no but there is a way to do it
[TS]
01:11:07
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there's a right way to do it it's not
[TS]
01:11:09
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like this is what I'm learning it's not
[TS]
01:11:10
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like no hard no it's like sure yes but
[TS]
01:11:13
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no to the thing that you're thinking yes
[TS]
01:11:16
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to the death to the thing that's like a
[TS]
01:11:18
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silly putty now we're like if you feel
[TS]
01:11:20
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like a fresh silly putty take it out of
[TS]
01:11:21
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the egg you push on a silly putty it
[TS]
01:11:23
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will yield but it's gonna take you a
[TS]
01:11:24
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while that putty is not warm yet darn
[TS]
01:11:26
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you have not warmed our putty yet all
[TS]
01:11:28
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you've done at this point is introduced
[TS]
01:11:29
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the egg yeah you want the putty to yield
[TS]
01:11:31
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before it's warm and that's not how that
[TS]