Roderick on the Line

Ep. 259: "My Dump Buddy"


00:00:01   [Music] [TS]

00:00:05   hello hey John hi Merlin how's it going [TS]

00:00:10   good good I just texted you and I said [TS]

00:00:13   good to go and you responded real real [TS]

00:00:20   real good to go you've been traveling a [TS]

00:00:23   lot lately have you been picking up new [TS]

00:00:24   internet jargon uh well you know you [TS]

00:00:26   wouldn't have to be travelling to pick [TS]

00:00:28   up new internet Johnsons it's a very [TS]

00:00:29   very good point but but the provincial [TS]

00:00:32   thinking that I bring to this [TS]

00:00:33   conversation well I know you also think [TS]

00:00:35   that the internet is in person and that [TS]

00:00:37   when you go around you're just seeing [TS]

00:00:39   different Internet's yeah I mean you [TS]

00:00:41   know corporations could be people yeah [TS]

00:00:43   of course yeah plants can be people have [TS]

00:00:47   a plan so how's it going all right [TS]

00:00:52   oh yeah pretty much have we not talked [TS]

00:00:54   in a long time surely you've not talked [TS]

00:00:56   in a long time it seems like a long time [TS]

00:00:59   um I'm gonna come up with a name for how [TS]

00:01:03   I find out whether you're recording or [TS]

00:01:05   not and it's a lot it's a process [TS]

00:01:07   mm-hmm involves me texting you texting [TS]

00:01:11   members of your family and your circle [TS]

00:01:14   mm-hmm is John okay it's gone okay [TS]

00:01:17   that's a popular text yeah I mean you [TS]

00:01:20   ghost me sometimes which is normal but [TS]

00:01:23   like I hadn't heard from you in a while [TS]

00:01:24   and I was getting a little bit frantic [TS]

00:01:25   cuz I had to do a little bit of a risk [TS]

00:01:27   edge [TS]

00:01:27   yeah and I was getting worried when it [TS]

00:01:30   started I texted your baby mama I was [TS]

00:01:32   looking at your Instagram because [TS]

00:01:33   sometimes sometimes I can get a little [TS]

00:01:34   bit Sherlock Holmes and I can gather the [TS]

00:01:36   facts if I see see that you're on the [TS]

00:01:39   East Coast on a Sunday night then [TS]

00:01:42   sometimes it's a clue but I like to get [TS]

00:01:43   confirmation from the source as they say [TS]

00:01:45   in journalism but you had an extra [TS]

00:01:48   wrinkle you don't need to address that [TS]

00:01:50   but but the other wrinkle is which you [TS]

00:01:52   of course you could I think your phone [TS]

00:01:54   broke I broke my phone oh Jesus it [TS]

00:01:57   actually I think that it saved me save [TS]

00:02:00   me considerable injury I'm not sure how [TS]

00:02:03   but the the amount of energy that it [TS]

00:02:05   absorbed if it had not absorbed it it [TS]

00:02:10   would have been absorbed by my body and [TS]

00:02:13   Amyx John is that how that works oh that [TS]

00:02:16   is a you know like I've thought about [TS]

00:02:18   this quite a bit yeah is that exactly [TS]

00:02:20   true or did it just but no the damage [TS]

00:02:22   that it sustained it didn't just [TS]

00:02:25   transfer the the energy directly through [TS]

00:02:28   itself into me [TS]

00:02:29   you see there's there's physical damage [TS]

00:02:30   but then there's a deeper kind of [TS]

00:02:32   Newtonian whack Amole that goes on here [TS]

00:02:35   I'm wondering right I mean I am NOT a [TS]

00:02:38   scientist no right although I play one [TS]

00:02:41   on TV [TS]

00:02:42   me too yeah but yeah surely if it was if [TS]

00:02:47   I had fallen on a phone shaped piece of [TS]

00:02:53   like hardened steel I think that that [TS]

00:02:57   phone shaped piece of hardened steel [TS]

00:02:59   would have done a better job of [TS]

00:03:00   communicating the the energy the [TS]

00:03:04   destructive energy of of my fall just [TS]

00:03:09   directly into my body but this phone [TS]

00:03:11   crushed and bent in a way I've never [TS]

00:03:16   seen it phone I mean I'm surely surely [TS]

00:03:18   on the internet there are websites just [TS]

00:03:21   showing pictures of destroyed phones and [TS]

00:03:23   mine belongs on there are you burying [TS]

00:03:26   the lede here did you fall down go boom [TS]

00:03:27   I did yeah I bet John I felt the dump no [TS]

00:03:37   are you serious this is real yeah I you [TS]

00:03:41   know the dump is very so the new dump [TS]

00:03:43   and this is your enemy John Michael no I [TS]

00:03:46   love the dump but the dump the dump has [TS]

00:03:49   a very greasy floor hmm and I got greasy [TS]

00:03:52   grease on my boots and then I climbed up [TS]

00:03:54   on this trailer and the trail and I was [TS]

00:03:56   standing on the it was a dumper a dumper [TS]

00:03:59   trailer as they say I climbed up on the [TS]

00:04:01   fender of the dumper and the dumper was [TS]

00:04:04   all the way in the dump position so I'm [TS]

00:04:07   on the fender trying to reach up and get [TS]

00:04:09   the garbage out of the very top of the [TS]

00:04:12   dumper and the and my boots just slid [TS]

00:04:15   out because the because Oh what was [TS]

00:04:17   happening was my partner was like I'm [TS]

00:04:19   gonna move [TS]

00:04:20   truck and he got in the he got in the [TS]

00:04:24   driver's seat and I was like okay do I [TS]

00:04:26   stay up here while he moves it it's [TS]

00:04:29   gonna shake or do I like kind of climb [TS]

00:04:32   down and in that moment a lot to cover [TS]

00:04:35   first of all your partner is your dumb [TS]

00:04:37   partner my dumb partner okay okay it's [TS]

00:04:39   not your business partner or your [TS]

00:04:40   special friend no no a dump pal okay you [TS]

00:04:43   got a dump buddy so you and your dump [TS]

00:04:46   buddy are you dropping off we're not [TS]

00:04:49   picking up okay well you know yeah like [TS]

00:04:52   you've never done that like you've never [TS]

00:04:53   picked up something on the way out [TS]

00:04:55   well sure but sure of course I have but [TS]

00:04:57   you would have to be there to drop off [TS]

00:05:00   in order to be there to pick up you know [TS]

00:05:02   you wouldn't just go there for window [TS]

00:05:04   shopping Goodwill no then this is a [TS]

00:05:08   proper dump it's not just like a take [TS]

00:05:10   your old stereo down and leave it by the [TS]

00:05:12   side of a thing it's like no no no [TS]

00:05:14   people are dumb the reason the floor is [TS]

00:05:16   so greasy is people are obviously [TS]

00:05:19   dumping a bunch of grease and other [TS]

00:05:20   garbage volunteer so anyway my feet fly [TS]

00:05:24   out from under me and I and it's a [TS]

00:05:26   situation at this point where I am my [TS]

00:05:29   ass is six to eight feet above the [TS]

00:05:34   cement floor oh no is it covered areas [TS]

00:05:38   it is in a covered area Oh hence the [TS]

00:05:41   grease and the car I get it okay and [TS]

00:05:43   there are bulldozers driving around and [TS]

00:05:45   city dump trucks driving around [TS]

00:05:47   everybody's driving around real fast and [TS]

00:05:49   I start to fall and I'm like well that's [TS]

00:05:51   it for me because if I I had no control [TS]

00:05:54   right I realize oh shit yeah my feet [TS]

00:05:58   were gone so I was a severed saddle [TS]

00:06:01   Passover Tico there was no I was not [TS]

00:06:04   gonna like regain my feet right and I [TS]

00:06:07   fall and my and I land on the fender of [TS]

00:06:11   the trailer which is in a kind of like [TS]

00:06:15   half up or you know at this point like I [TS]

00:06:18   fall in such a way that I hit this [TS]

00:06:21   fender and the fender is made out of [TS]

00:06:24   heavy gauge you know whatever heavy [TS]

00:06:28   gauge steel steel yeah and it and I [TS]

00:06:31   completely collapse it [TS]

00:06:33   down and just as like crunch like well [TS]

00:06:37   like Tiger man hitting the wall yeah [TS]

00:06:39   because out of it when I went when I [TS]

00:06:42   went to later later on in the story fast [TS]

00:06:47   forward to the the other part of the [TS]

00:06:48   story where I'm not hurt I went to bend [TS]

00:06:52   it up I couldn't bend it with my I mean [TS]

00:06:54   I had to like it was it's like not a fit [TS]

00:06:57   it was not a thin gauge of metal but I [TS]

00:07:01   hit this thing and the way in which I'm [TS]

00:07:02   falling in the way the fender is is kind [TS]

00:07:05   of pointed at an angle and the whole [TS]

00:07:07   just the luck of the draw it just sort [TS]

00:07:11   of slid me it just sort of put me on the [TS]

00:07:14   ground on my butt but like I was sliding [TS]

00:07:18   I hit that thing it crunched it like [TS]

00:07:21   bent sideways sent me down I hit the [TS]

00:07:24   greasy ground and slid on the grease and [TS]

00:07:26   popped up on my feet and I was like huh [TS]

00:07:29   and I was not in the least bit injured [TS]

00:07:33   not even the next day [TS]

00:07:35   did I have any soreness it was just like [TS]

00:07:38   huh well what do you know about that and [TS]

00:07:41   then I looked in my pocket and my phone [TS]

00:07:42   was I mean you could you could pour [TS]

00:07:45   water into my phone and drink out of it [TS]

00:07:47   it's that it was that concave oh my [TS]

00:07:50   goodness the impacts just it was it's [TS]

00:07:53   just shaped like my body am i wrong this [TS]

00:07:55   could have been way WAY worse not your [TS]

00:07:57   phone before you're behind in your [TS]

00:07:58   different parts even as I was flying [TS]

00:08:00   through the air I was like I'm gonna I'm [TS]

00:08:02   going to the hospital yeah I mean it all [TS]

00:08:05   happened in a second sure sure enough [TS]

00:08:06   time to say like this is bad for me and [TS]

00:08:08   it was actually like that the five [TS]

00:08:11   minutes following I was like I I would I [TS]

00:08:14   would be not I'm I'm just like getting [TS]

00:08:17   in the truck and driving away but I [TS]

00:08:18   would not be if I had if I had fallen [TS]

00:08:21   just slightly differently oh my god John [TS]

00:08:24   this is a whole different story here oh [TS]

00:08:26   my gosh and so your phone your phone [TS]

00:08:27   bore a lot of the front you have you see [TS]

00:08:29   a shattered glass like I knew you're [TS]

00:08:31   behind yeah but also the whole metal [TS]

00:08:36   case is just like both flattened and [TS]

00:08:39   also like xx [TS]

00:08:41   yeah and just sort of like munched and [TS]

00:08:44   and what's funny is that the [TS]

00:08:46   Electronics still work but the few [TS]

00:08:52   things cause me as much anxiety as [TS]

00:08:54   watching people use a broken phone it [TS]

00:08:57   causes me so much anxiety [TS]

00:08:58   instacart person shows up and they got [TS]

00:09:00   the whole spiderweb screen on like an [TS]

00:09:02   iPhone 4 and like oh my god you've had [TS]

00:09:04   this been like this for like three years [TS]

00:09:05   hasn't it oh my god get something else I [TS]

00:09:10   treat my phone like a fucking Eucharist [TS]

00:09:12   I mean I am I'm I'm so I've never broken [TS]

00:09:15   a phone or a screen [TS]

00:09:16   it wasn't Apple's fault but no I've [TS]

00:09:19   never had that and it cost me he's [TS]

00:09:21   causing me huge anxiety but you you [TS]

00:09:23   really I'm sorry I'm processing this you [TS]

00:09:25   really you kind of dodged a bullet here [TS]

00:09:26   well big-time I'm I'm a middle-aged guy [TS]

00:09:29   right I to take Falls like that all the [TS]

00:09:32   time I used to do Falls like that as [TS]

00:09:33   sport yeah um but now bit of years [TS]

00:09:37   wasn't it [TS]

00:09:38   it was a bit of mine him but now that [TS]

00:09:40   would have was particularly landing on [TS]

00:09:42   my butt and my back [TS]

00:09:44   uh-huh what have been really terrible oh [TS]

00:09:46   god I did my back sleeping last week and [TS]

00:09:52   I've been stealing my wife had dental [TS]

00:09:54   surgery been stealing her vicodins so I [TS]

00:09:55   can sleep just cuz I slept I slept I [TS]

00:09:58   harm myself with sleep and now I'm [TS]

00:10:00   treating now I think I might be the [TS]

00:10:02   opioid epidemic don't do it don't do it [TS]

00:10:04   I'm the academic Marilyn don't get [TS]

00:10:07   addicted to opioids that's my advice [TS]

00:10:09   it's not as bad as I heard a lot of it [TS]

00:10:12   is the media blowing this up because [TS]

00:10:14   they don't like the white working-class [TS]

00:10:15   is what I heard [TS]

00:10:16   yeah some of that you know it really the [TS]

00:10:19   Heritage I think what it is is that [TS]

00:10:21   state's attorneys general Bundy's to sue [TS]

00:10:30   pharmaceutical companies because they're [TS]

00:10:32   bored brothers cartoon right and so like [TS]

00:10:36   they're they're the wolf and and that's [TS]

00:10:38   the porkchop cigarettes were in the 90s [TS]

00:10:40   their liberal Democrat let's be honest [TS]

00:10:43   rule like this is why Trump won like [TS]

00:10:47   lawyer culture and try you know trial [TS]

00:10:50   lawyers right oh right Equifax you mean [TS]

00:10:54   imagine what's gonna happen with that [TS]

00:10:54   hmm Equifax Equifax Equifax Equifax they [TS]

00:10:59   had a breach you probably aware of this [TS]

00:11:01   they had a breach that was entirely [TS]

00:11:03   avoidable hundred and forty four million [TS]

00:11:06   Americans basic down to the SSN [TS]

00:11:10   information out there so dark web now [TS]

00:11:14   hmm Hecate slamming and springs would [TS]

00:11:17   say slamming oh this is a lot to cover [TS]

00:11:21   and so even and so you put a dent an [TS]

00:11:23   offender with your phone but and you [TS]

00:11:26   still you had to travel you went to the [TS]

00:11:27   east coast is that right then i went to [TS]

00:11:30   washington DC washington DC where I was [TS]

00:11:33   there touring the sites with my little [TS]

00:11:36   girl oh you want to see the sights I [TS]

00:11:38   went and saw numerable sites all the [TS]

00:11:41   sites all the great sites aren't there [TS]

00:11:45   some great sites there there are a great [TS]

00:11:46   site I was worried about this at the [TS]

00:11:49   summer and I had so much fun oh yeah [TS]

00:11:51   yeah yeah so I'm guessing you went to [TS]

00:11:53   all the sites we what do we do we did [TS]

00:11:56   the was at the African American History [TS]

00:12:00   Museum we did of course did air in space [TS]

00:12:02   saw the saturn v engine there it is it's [TS]

00:12:05   just like it's likes list of looking [TS]

00:12:07   into the face of God I love looking at [TS]

00:12:08   that thing although the last ranaut food [TS]

00:12:11   in that little cabinet uh-huh Aaron [TS]

00:12:14   space what else do we do oh the zoo we [TS]

00:12:16   wouldn't saw it was once a baby the [TS]

00:12:17   Panda did you know the zoo was just [TS]

00:12:20   outside of our time and options that is [TS]

00:12:25   if you ever get a chance that is a [TS]

00:12:26   baller zoo I used to live in Washington [TS]

00:12:29   and and and used to go to the zoo as a [TS]

00:12:32   kind of like they've done a real good [TS]

00:12:34   job there I think they've got some [TS]

00:12:35   serious dough there Panda enclosure shit [TS]

00:12:39   dog [TS]

00:12:39   well the Chinese make you do a certain [TS]

00:12:41   thing even to get a panda they caught a [TS]

00:12:44   Chinese hoop you got to jump through [TS]

00:12:46   yeah yeah that's exactly right they were [TS]

00:12:48   they're not gonna let you get a panda [TS]

00:12:50   just and treat it like they got the they [TS]

00:12:54   still got the crate when you're in the [TS]

00:12:56   conclusion the Panda watch baby land [TS]

00:12:58   land land on her back [TS]

00:12:59   that baby's the young Panda and and you [TS]

00:13:02   can go see lots of things and you can [TS]

00:13:03   see the crate yeah [TS]

00:13:04   might have been ding-ding or sing [TS]

00:13:05   singing but whatever the original was [TS]

00:13:08   the original panda called Oh Ling Ling [TS]

00:13:10   was it Ling Ling then they get two [TS]

00:13:11   pandas is that what we got I think so [TS]

00:13:16   Nixon great yeah Oh anyway okay so what [TS]

00:13:20   else did you do you went down the mall [TS]

00:13:22   you went to all with all the things yeah [TS]

00:13:24   well uh you know little little gal and I [TS]

00:13:28   we walked around we we walked around [TS]

00:13:31   Capitol Hill the neighborhood first and [TS]

00:13:34   we found a little there are a few little [TS]

00:13:38   old-timey cafes diners that are still in [TS]

00:13:44   that Capitol Hill neighborhood when I [TS]

00:13:47   lived there in 1989 Capitol Hill by [TS]

00:13:51   which I mean the neighborhood that [TS]

00:13:52   stretches to the east from the Capitol [TS]

00:13:55   building uh-huh [TS]

00:13:57   it's a big wonderful neighborhood of [TS]

00:13:59   townhouses brownstones that type of [TS]

00:14:02   thing and when I lived there it it was [TS]

00:14:08   only beginning to be gentrified the the [TS]

00:14:12   first few blocks to the east of the [TS]

00:14:15   Capitol were the the houses were I think [TS]

00:14:19   probably kept in good condition it was [TS]

00:14:21   where Congress people lived but then you [TS]

00:14:25   know if you get if you got much further [TS]

00:14:28   than about tenth headed that direction [TS]

00:14:31   you know it became a poor neighborhood [TS]

00:14:33   and the houses were in decline or not in [TS]

00:14:36   decline they were in a lot of cases [TS]

00:14:38   burnouts and and and then as you moved [TS]

00:14:42   to the other side of Lincoln Park boy it [TS]

00:14:44   was a it was it was pretty rough but it [TS]

00:14:48   was the same exact housing stock right [TS]

00:14:52   the same beautiful homes it was just [TS]

00:14:55   that they were they were not in any kind [TS]

00:14:58   of repair you know it was typical a [TS]

00:15:00   typical American situation where people [TS]

00:15:02   out there couldn't get home improvement [TS]

00:15:04   loans and they didn't have money and and [TS]

00:15:06   the houses fell apart so I lived at [TS]

00:15:08   third and D up there and you know it was [TS]

00:15:13   like it was government town [TS]

00:15:17   and all the bars were full of like young [TS]

00:15:20   white people from Maryland wearing [TS]

00:15:23   bowties and with with swoopy hair I mean [TS]

00:15:28   the in some ways the the most [TS]

00:15:32   concentrated collection of young [TS]

00:15:33   assholes in the world with the exception [TS]

00:15:38   maybe of Wall Street yeah I was gonna [TS]

00:15:40   save maybe like parts of Manhattan but [TS]

00:15:43   no but it's an asshole attractor for [TS]

00:15:44   sure oh my goodness I mean I had a [TS]

00:15:47   friend who worked at NPR and friend of [TS]

00:15:50   mine from college and she said it really [TS]

00:15:51   is a company town like everywhere you go [TS]

00:15:53   like there's something people are all in [TS]

00:15:57   this same general kind of industry [TS]

00:15:59   whether that's being in government or [TS]

00:16:00   reporting on government or whatever [TS]

00:16:01   there's like there you're never more [TS]

00:16:03   than a you can swing a dead cat without [TS]

00:16:05   hitting an asshole in that tone yeah [TS]

00:16:06   government adjacent yeah and and and [TS]

00:16:09   what's what's interesting is like I [TS]

00:16:11   think a lot of the concentration of [TS]

00:16:13   assholes in Wall Street are from [TS]

00:16:16   Connecticut and Manhattan and Boston [TS]

00:16:20   repotted assholes yeah as in Washington [TS]

00:16:24   DC [TS]

00:16:24   it is the top assholes from every state [TS]

00:16:27   that's the best it's America's assholes [TS]

00:16:30   all and and it's the you know it's all [TS]

00:16:33   those people are every every [TS]

00:16:35   congressperson or senator has all these [TS]

00:16:36   interns because it's like a job that [TS]

00:16:39   they give to their friends and donors [TS]

00:16:42   from their own towns so these kids go to [TS]

00:16:45   Penn State or they go to wherever state [TS]

00:16:49   and then in the summer or or for a year [TS]

00:16:53   they go out there and work from their [TS]

00:16:54   congressman and their job MSU might [TS]

00:16:56   start out as a dick but you end up an [TS]

00:16:58   asshole but so I lived in that you know [TS]

00:17:05   in that like pretty protected little [TS]

00:17:07   area well yeah and and I and at the time [TS]

00:17:10   I was stunned it was my first exposure [TS]

00:17:13   to I mean seeing gentrification not as a [TS]

00:17:18   general like well that used to be a [TS]

00:17:21   neighborhood like this but now it's sort [TS]

00:17:23   of the hold the neighborhood is [TS]

00:17:24   transitioning sort of thing it was as [TS]

00:17:27   you went from block to block you could [TS]

00:17:29   see [TS]

00:17:30   Oh every house on this block is nice the [TS]

00:17:33   next block over has a few shabby houses [TS]

00:17:36   two blocks over has like 30% shabby [TS]

00:17:40   houses five blocks I mean just block by [TS]

00:17:42   block you watched and then you would get [TS]

00:17:45   out there where there was a block that [TS]

00:17:47   was hmm you know there wasn't a single [TS]

00:17:49   house except there was one that had [TS]

00:17:52   scaffolding around it and somebody was [TS]

00:17:54   pioneering there well now you go all the [TS]

00:17:57   way out and it's just beautiful homes [TS]

00:17:59   the whole way that the entire [TS]

00:18:02   neighborhood has been transformed and [TS]

00:18:06   yet there are still a couple of little [TS]

00:18:09   stores little little diners that have [TS]

00:18:14   been there the whole time and have been [TS]

00:18:16   there since before the neighborhood even [TS]

00:18:19   went into decline and it's just you walk [TS]

00:18:22   in it's just like one counter five [TS]

00:18:25   tables and a menu that's like grilled [TS]

00:18:29   cheese sandwich hamburger Philly [TS]

00:18:31   cheesesteak okay so so my baby and I [TS]

00:18:36   went and found one of those and we had a [TS]

00:18:38   breakfast and then we went to the [TS]

00:18:41   Library of Congress and we walked around [TS]

00:18:45   we went to look down on the reading room [TS]

00:18:48   went to the Jefferson library which is [TS]

00:18:52   they so after the British burned the [TS]

00:18:55   Capitol during the war of 1812 [TS]

00:18:59   they burned the library and so Thomas [TS]

00:19:03   Jefferson gave his entire library and he [TS]

00:19:05   was at the time the had the biggest [TS]

00:19:07   library in the colonies or I'm guess the [TS]

00:19:10   states at that point he donated his [TS]

00:19:13   entire library and then there was [TS]

00:19:15   another fire in his books have some of [TS]

00:19:19   them burned again but they have the [TS]

00:19:20   majority of his books set up set up in a [TS]

00:19:23   kind of circle like he had his library [TS]

00:19:26   built so we looked at those and then we [TS]

00:19:29   went to the Capitol and toured the [TS]

00:19:31   Capitol and saw all the things and then [TS]

00:19:34   we walked we dent down at the [TS]

00:19:37   Smithsonian we walked all the way to the [TS]

00:19:38   Lincoln Memorial [TS]

00:19:39   and she was like a super trooper it was [TS]

00:19:42   only on the other side of the Washington [TS]

00:19:45   Monument when she started to say this [TS]

00:19:48   has been a long walk did you oh so you [TS]

00:19:49   did walk that is so much longer than it [TS]

00:19:51   looks it's very long it's very very long [TS]

00:19:54   walk yeah and she said I do not think [TS]

00:19:55   well as we were approaching the [TS]

00:19:57   Washington Monument she said I think [TS]

00:19:58   that we should stop at the Washington [TS]

00:20:00   Monument and I said sweetheart the [TS]

00:20:02   Lincoln Memorial is just over the [TS]

00:20:04   horizon [TS]

00:20:04   that's where it's going on man gotta get [TS]

00:20:06   to the memorial yeah and she was like I [TS]

00:20:08   we've walked far enough and we got to [TS]

00:20:10   the Washington Monument there was the [TS]

00:20:12   Lincoln Memorial in the distance I was [TS]

00:20:14   like what do you think you think you [TS]

00:20:16   want to bite it off because it's just [TS]

00:20:17   it's C it's far but it's also just right [TS]

00:20:21   there and she's the reflecting pool yeah [TS]

00:20:25   she was I think she understood like [TS]

00:20:28   that's on the back of the penny like in [TS]

00:20:32   and she's she knows she knows all about [TS]

00:20:36   Lincoln she'd sit and lecture me about [TS]

00:20:38   Lincoln so off we went and it was great [TS]

00:20:41   we had a wonderful time Oh though we [TS]

00:20:45   went through the World War two the New [TS]

00:20:48   World War Two memorial let's see I think [TS]

00:20:53   I know that one because it's near it's [TS]

00:20:56   kind of adjacent it's kind of not too [TS]

00:20:57   far from the Vietnam one right yep and [TS]

00:21:01   and it's just but but it has pride of [TS]

00:21:04   place I mean it's the most recent thing [TS]

00:21:07   to actually occupy the mall itself and [TS]

00:21:10   it stretches across it it's like a new [TS]

00:21:12   feature mm-hmm right between the [TS]

00:21:15   Washington Monument and the Lincoln [TS]

00:21:16   Memorial and it's like a pretty enormous [TS]

00:21:19   Wow you know amphitheater that they [TS]

00:21:22   built and you know I've I have a [TS]

00:21:27   relationship with World War two as a [TS]

00:21:30   conflict I've spent quite a bit of time [TS]

00:21:32   on it personally in the course of my [TS]

00:21:35   life my dad fought in it and all his [TS]

00:21:38   friends did and I am sorry to say that [TS]

00:21:42   the World War Two memorial is an abject [TS]

00:21:45   failure [TS]

00:21:46   as a memorial really it's just bad it's [TS]

00:21:50   badly done badly designed badly executed [TS]

00:21:55   and it was really sad to me because [TS]

00:22:01   you're not allowed to say this is a bad [TS]

00:22:02   Memorial [TS]

00:22:03   it's an incredibly expensive Memorial [TS]

00:22:06   it's an it's it was designed to be epic [TS]

00:22:10   or to seem epic it was designed it felt [TS]

00:22:14   like it was designed by a committee like [TS]

00:22:15   we've got this space on the mall we have [TS]

00:22:18   got to do something with a lot of [TS]

00:22:20   whiz-bang mm-hmm and so that's not a [TS]

00:22:24   football field from the sky yeah and it [TS]

00:22:27   has no it's yeah exactly it's a you know [TS]

00:22:29   it looks like a like a like a high [TS]

00:22:31   school look track yeah an oval but it [TS]

00:22:34   has very bad access to it you can enter [TS]

00:22:39   on one side but not leave on the other [TS]

00:22:42   side so and it commemorates nothing like [TS]

00:22:49   it has the one side of the oval has a [TS]

00:22:52   big sign each tune marble-carved six you [TS]

00:22:57   know let letter six feet high that says [TS]

00:23:00   Pacific and the other side predictably [TS]

00:23:03   says Atlantic on the news and then if [TS]

00:23:07   you walk around there are fifty pillars [TS]

00:23:10   with all guess what's written on them is [TS]

00:23:13   there space there's 50 of them that's [TS]

00:23:15   right all 50 states mm-hmm 48 at the [TS]

00:23:20   time yeah yeah well but also there was [TS]

00:23:23   Puerto Rico and and Guam Puerto Rico [TS]

00:23:26   counts but it basically got a they got [TS]

00:23:30   up they got a pillar way to do it you [TS]

00:23:34   know what I didn't go I did not actually [TS]

00:23:36   go around and see if Alaska and Hawaii [TS]

00:23:38   were on there that's very interesting [TS]

00:23:40   and it seems like the type of thing [TS]

00:23:42   where Alaska and Hawaii would be there [TS]

00:23:44   even though they weren't States at the [TS]

00:23:46   time they call it a retcon it's a little [TS]

00:23:48   bit of a retcon but and then on either [TS]

00:23:51   side there are two fountains I guess and [TS]

00:23:54   underneath the fountains are carved the [TS]

00:23:56   names of all the major battles [TS]

00:23:59   but it is insufficient entirely [TS]

00:24:02   insufficient like there's no the names [TS]

00:24:05   of the dead doesn't momentous to be [TS]

00:24:07   standing in it all right [TS]

00:24:10   minute no that's like the the Vietnam [TS]

00:24:12   Wall was kind of a creeper like you get [TS]

00:24:14   up in that thing and it's like ooh [TS]

00:24:15   there's something kind of momentous [TS]

00:24:17   about this we're obviously the the World [TS]

00:24:19   Trade Center one is kind of like that [TS]

00:24:21   too like it you really feel like an [TS]

00:24:22   absence of something here in the [TS]

00:24:24   presence of something else [TS]

00:24:25   although though I just went to the World [TS]

00:24:28   Trade Center Memorial the other day also [TS]

00:24:33   guess what it closes at night it's an [TS]

00:24:37   enormous Plaza an enormous Plaza right [TS]

00:24:40   they takes up the footprint of the hole [TS]

00:24:42   yes right Center and what they've [TS]

00:24:45   decided and there's nothing in it it's [TS]

00:24:47   just like fountains and and trees okay a [TS]

00:24:50   little bit of uh I got a little bit of a [TS]

00:24:52   pebble in my shoe because the security [TS]

00:24:53   car yelled at my kid for standing on the [TS]

00:24:55   railing well there you go [TS]

00:24:57   so I went there I think I think I think [TS]

00:24:59   you can handle it yeah and and I went [TS]

00:25:03   there at let's say midnight mm-hmm [TS]

00:25:07   that's a good time to visit a memorial [TS]

00:25:10   like that it is yet it is not because [TS]

00:25:14   they have decided in their infinite [TS]

00:25:15   wisdom that it makes more sense for them [TS]

00:25:18   to hire 40 to 50 security guards like [TS]

00:25:23   shoot people away to walk around this [TS]

00:25:26   park all night telling you that you [TS]

00:25:30   cannot step foot into it so you just you [TS]

00:25:32   never forget as long as it's not [TS]

00:25:34   midnight that's right never stop [TS]

00:25:36   remembering and what's interesting is if [TS]

00:25:39   they're gonna hire those 40 to 50 [TS]

00:25:41   security guards well they could just let [TS]

00:25:42   them walk around all night and then you [TS]

00:25:44   also could walk around that's true but [TS]

00:25:46   instead I mean it's not like what are [TS]

00:25:48   you gonna get up to start a campfire [TS]

00:25:49   yeah if there's 50 people walking around [TS]

00:25:56   I mean and so I went there to have a [TS]

00:25:57   solemn moment because as you recall I [TS]

00:26:01   was I went up to the top of the World [TS]

00:26:03   Trade Center on September 1st 2001 and [TS]

00:26:08   so when that all happened you know I was [TS]

00:26:11   just ten days from standing [TS]

00:26:12   the at the window on the world and [TS]

00:26:16   standing on the roof went up to the roof [TS]

00:26:20   so it was I mean not to make it not to [TS]

00:26:24   make the not to make 911 about me [TS]

00:26:32   experience to me I'm just there and so I [TS]

00:26:37   wanted to go go have my moment with the [TS]

00:26:40   with the memorial and and at night like [TS]

00:26:43   you say it would be I was hoping it to [TS]

00:26:46   sort of be there alone and and not have [TS]

00:26:48   to experience it in a crowd which always [TS]

00:26:53   feels a little also a little weird it [TS]

00:26:56   was packed when we were there that's why [TS]

00:26:58   what she's doing on the real she [TS]

00:26:59   couldn't you couldn't see very well so [TS]

00:27:01   you know just shoot out by these people [TS]

00:27:03   who I mean there's no fence around it [TS]

00:27:05   they're just standing there 14 feet away [TS]

00:27:08   from me and if you put your foot on the [TS]

00:27:10   step they're like sorry sorry folks [TS]

00:27:12   parks closed I shoulda told you and I [TS]

00:27:16   was infuriated it's just like beef with [TS]

00:27:22   this there's another podcast I listen to [TS]

00:27:23   where they talk a lot about [TS]

00:27:25   Trafalgar Square and how Trafalgar [TS]

00:27:27   Square they've really cracked down [TS]

00:27:28   you're not allowed to climb on the [TS]

00:27:30   columns and the Lions and whatnot you [TS]

00:27:32   there's all kinds of things you're not [TS]

00:27:33   they shoot you away now it's like you [TS]

00:27:34   know what to me a memorial should have [TS]

00:27:37   the dignity and the structural integrity [TS]

00:27:39   to handle a whole bunch of things [TS]

00:27:41   including kids playing on it in a way [TS]

00:27:43   that they don't understand they're not [TS]

00:27:44   supposed to be playing on it like that's [TS]

00:27:45   part of what makes it a memorial like [TS]

00:27:47   it's not it isn't like you're going to [TS]

00:27:49   see you know the body of Lenin like this [TS]

00:27:53   is this is you know what I'm saying like [TS]

00:27:55   a statue has like a certain gravitas to [TS]

00:27:57   it did like I mean do you really need to [TS]

00:27:58   shoot people away from that I mean it's [TS]

00:28:00   well and it's it's partly security [TS]

00:28:03   theater we live in a world now where all [TS]

00:28:08   yeah you cannot if you just if you like [TS]

00:28:13   throw out the idea hey you know what we [TS]

00:28:15   should do we should hire 50 security [TS]

00:28:17   guards to stand around this place no one [TS]

00:28:19   is going to say no because if you say [TS]

00:28:22   well 911 yeah just you've just trumped [TS]

00:28:26   any argument against the thing yeah it's [TS]

00:28:28   like do you think somebody's gonna come [TS]

00:28:30   blow up this memorial yeah what do you [TS]

00:28:33   think I mean they're there in the course [TS]

00:28:35   of the night that you're paying these 50 [TS]

00:28:37   security guards to stand there fifty [TS]

00:28:39   people would come mm-hmm [TS]

00:28:41   obviously no one's gonna camp out there [TS]

00:28:43   they wouldn't even have a chance to sit [TS]

00:28:45   down but maybe they don't want homeless [TS]

00:28:47   people there well how could they there's [TS]

00:28:49   50 security guards right right you could [TS]

00:28:51   cut the number of security guards in [TS]

00:28:53   half and still have more than enough [TS]

00:28:55   because you need 50 of them to keep [TS]

00:28:59   people out of every single entrance to [TS]

00:29:01   the park you only need 20 of them to [TS]

00:29:03   keep people from camping there but it's [TS]

00:29:06   also you know there's a sculpture garden [TS]

00:29:09   here in Seattle and out to an enormous [TS]

00:29:11   outdoor sculpture garden and they have [TS]

00:29:13   security I swear to you hiding in the [TS]

00:29:16   bushes because if you if you go there [TS]

00:29:18   with the kids and she walks over and [TS]

00:29:20   touches the Calder hmm there somebody [TS]

00:29:25   appears at your shoulder no you know [TS]

00:29:26   don't touch the artwork hmm this is an [TS]

00:29:29   outdoor sculpture garden I don't think [TS]

00:29:32   you understand what a statue is which is [TS]

00:29:34   yeah exactly which is closed at night [TS]

00:29:36   a-and also don't touch is it is it paper [TS]

00:29:39   mache like is it blessed like that's [TS]

00:29:42   just weird it's gonna get ruined oh [TS]

00:29:44   don't ruin this - I just sent you a link [TS]

00:29:46   I admit this is a little bit over the [TS]

00:29:48   top but this is one of the most um [TS]

00:29:51   over-the-top but moving disturbing [TS]

00:29:54   memorials I've ever been to you sent [TS]

00:29:55   your link to the Holocaust Memorial in [TS]

00:29:57   Miami have you are you aware of this I [TS]

00:29:59   have not been to the one in Miami but [TS]

00:30:01   have you seen look at the photos [TS]

00:30:02   oh you sent it to me through Skype right [TS]

00:30:06   yeah but you go just just Google [TS]

00:30:07   Holocaust Memorial in Miami oh yeah [TS]

00:30:14   mm-hmm [TS]

00:30:16   you don't you don't see that isn't that [TS]

00:30:18   something yeah I mean I realized that [TS]

00:30:22   when you're trying to sort of what's the [TS]

00:30:23   word valorize World War two it was a [TS]

00:30:26   great war the good war diddly diddly [TS]

00:30:27   deee it's got to be very you know [TS]

00:30:29   dignified but like I don't know I think [TS]

00:30:31   there's something to be said for like [TS]

00:30:33   from a moral that goes there [TS]

00:30:36   well that one really goes there it does [TS]

00:30:38   it does but I mean like so I mean I'm [TS]

00:30:40   glad somebody went there it's like I [TS]

00:30:41   always used to say even before I moved [TS]

00:30:43   here I'm glad Berkeley exists cuz [TS]

00:30:44   Berkeley is a place where everything [TS]

00:30:45   goes too far [TS]

00:30:46   America needs places that go too far [TS]

00:30:48   yeah especially on our side and I kind [TS]

00:30:50   of feel like you know this is maybe a [TS]

00:30:51   little bit I don't know a little [TS]

00:30:53   over-the-top but like it's it is very [TS]

00:30:55   affecting to see ya bet yeah well I to [TS]

00:30:59   get in arguments with people if you [TS]

00:31:00   can't believe it you yeah about the way [TS]

00:31:04   the Holocaust has been memorialized and [TS]

00:31:07   world war two has been memorialized [TS]

00:31:08   because unfortunately for us I think the [TS]

00:31:13   war was immediately followed upon by the [TS]

00:31:17   brutalist movement and the hyper sort of [TS]

00:31:23   modern postmodern art world and so if [TS]

00:31:28   you travel around brutalist [TS]

00:31:29   i think yeah but as well as going [TS]

00:31:32   straight into the Cold War like we [TS]

00:31:33   didn't have time to change our socks and [TS]

00:31:35   we were going into the Cold War but on [TS]

00:31:36   top of that yeah you've got these these [TS]

00:31:37   new architectural movements seeing can't [TS]

00:31:39   get any federalism you know I'm saying [TS]

00:31:40   right and and also representative art [TS]

00:31:44   fell out of fashion so when you go [TS]

00:31:45   around looking at the memorials to World [TS]

00:31:48   War two a lot of them are black [TS]

00:31:50   doughnuts [TS]

00:31:51   it's stuff that needs to be explained [TS]

00:31:53   yeah when the Vietnam Wall went up it [TS]

00:31:57   had to kind of be explained to people [TS]

00:31:59   but I think it works it has that a [TS]

00:32:01   bullet not obelisk but you know what I [TS]

00:32:03   mean that's that's yeah accurate kind of [TS]

00:32:04   quality and I think that's very [TS]

00:32:06   effective but there are a lot where it's [TS]

00:32:07   like oh there's a water feature and [TS]

00:32:09   black stone yeah okay so what how's that [TS]

00:32:12   about like invading Poland and and and [TS]

00:32:14   there's a lot of criticism to be made [TS]

00:32:16   about the World War 1 memorials where 40 [TS]

00:32:20   valiant soldiers stand you know carved [TS]

00:32:23   in marble Stan and look at the did [TS]

00:32:27   middle-distance while they're you know [TS]

00:32:29   around their feet are arrayed they're [TS]

00:32:31   dying comrades yeah sort of sort of like [TS]

00:32:33   civil war memorials where it really it [TS]

00:32:36   really glamorizes it and it's all like [TS]

00:32:39   all those statues in in the United [TS]

00:32:41   Kingdom where it's just like here is [TS]

00:32:43   here are our fallen heroes [TS]

00:32:45   you can make a lot of criticism about [TS]

00:32:47   that but there is like you say it [TS]

00:32:50   doesn't need you don't need to stand [TS]

00:32:52   there in a in a tour group hold it with [TS]

00:32:55   a gut while a guy holding a clipboard [TS]

00:32:56   explains that this is the Holocaust most [TS]

00:32:59   why you should be moved by this right or [TS]

00:33:01   it's impossible to be moved by this [TS]

00:33:03   except what it symbolizes is beyond the [TS]

00:33:07   unexpressive ability of what happened [TS]

00:33:10   and so really look inside yourselves [TS]

00:33:12   yeah exactly so what is it inverted [TS]

00:33:14   appearance with with like three [TS]

00:33:17   Christmas intellectually moving and [TS]

00:33:21   there are a lot of people that will [TS]

00:33:23   defend that stuff that because you know [TS]

00:33:26   because like they believe they feel that [TS]

00:33:28   metaphor is is the only thing that's [TS]

00:33:32   sufficient but there's not any one [TS]

00:33:36   answer to any of this there's examples [TS]

00:33:38   of all of these being done well or [TS]

00:33:40   poorly that suit the purpose and don't [TS]

00:33:42   some of them don't age well but like [TS]

00:33:44   it's it's not a question of I'm it's [TS]

00:33:45   just a question of how well it's [TS]

00:33:46   executed don't you think well that is [TS]

00:33:49   what makes the Holocaust Memorial in [TS]

00:33:51   Berlin such a heavy heavy heavy visit [TS]

00:33:55   because oh my god oh god it's an [TS]

00:34:00   enormous enormous field full of exactly [TS]

00:34:05   as you say black omelets basically [TS]

00:34:07   casket roughly casket shaped stones and [TS]

00:34:12   it's open all night first of all because [TS]

00:34:15   it's it's in Europe and no one is trying [TS]

00:34:17   to you know in like San Francisco [TS]

00:34:18   everything closes too early here yeah [TS]

00:34:20   right well that's one of the reasons no [TS]

00:34:23   one like Santa but so you go into this [TS]

00:34:27   Holocaust Memorial is this Christ when [TS]

00:34:31   you're on the edge of it the stones are [TS]

00:34:35   low they're just a few feet high you can [TS]

00:34:37   sit on them they're like benches on the [TS]

00:34:40   on the ring of this memorial all around [TS]

00:34:42   it look at from a little bit of a [TS]

00:34:44   distance it has like a terrain my [TS]

00:34:46   quality is that because of the lands [TS]

00:34:48   type topography or because of the way [TS]

00:34:51   they've been arranged its man it's meant [TS]

00:34:53   to look like that from the street that's [TS]

00:34:55   fine design with like the size the [TS]

00:34:56   height of the stones yeah lonely [TS]

00:34:59   it just kind of looks like a big rolling [TS]

00:35:01   field but it looks like a blocking a lot [TS]

00:35:04   for caskets kind of but it is it's very [TS]

00:35:06   it's stunning well so here's what makes [TS]

00:35:09   it astonishing cuz it is stunning and [TS]

00:35:11   there are people sitting and eating [TS]

00:35:13   their lunch on it it's there is a [TS]

00:35:15   certain amount of like well this is just [TS]

00:35:17   now a place that we like if you sit down [TS]

00:35:20   on one of those stones I don't know [TS]

00:35:22   about them I don't know about noon [TS]

00:35:24   whether somebody comes over and says hey [TS]

00:35:26   get off that but there's there wouldn't [TS]

00:35:28   be a way to do it it's right in the [TS]

00:35:30   center of Berlin it's right next to the [TS]

00:35:31   US Embassy it's right where the the [TS]

00:35:33   Berlin wall used to be it's like where [TS]

00:35:35   the Reichstag was it's it's like very [TS]

00:35:38   it's really there but you walk into it [TS]

00:35:41   and it's and it's meant to be interacted [TS]

00:35:43   with you walk into it those paths every [TS]

00:35:46   every single one of those spaces between [TS]

00:35:49   the obelisks is a path and you walk in [TS]

00:35:52   and then the earth falls away and as you [TS]

00:35:56   move toward the center of it suddenly [TS]

00:35:57   these obelisks are towering over you [TS]

00:36:00   they're 15 20 feet above your head and [TS]

00:36:03   you're down in this space where you know [TS]

00:36:07   every time you come around a corner you [TS]

00:36:09   can see all the way along the path is in [TS]

00:36:13   either direction and it becomes very [TS]

00:36:16   disorienting and very overwhelming and [TS]

00:36:18   then when you're down in the center you [TS]

00:36:19   have no idea where you are because you [TS]

00:36:21   could no longer see out of the peace [TS]

00:36:22   functions like a maze it functions like [TS]

00:36:25   a maze although it's just a grid but [TS]

00:36:27   2,000 2711 concrete slabs right I mean [TS]

00:36:34   think about that that's an enormous and [TS]

00:36:36   these are big big things but but the way [TS]

00:36:39   that the way the valley of it works when [TS]

00:36:41   you're standing on it at the sidewalk it [TS]

00:36:43   looks like a hill because it kind of [TS]

00:36:45   curves up the tops of these obelisks [TS]

00:36:48   curved up and have a topography like you [TS]

00:36:50   say but when you're down in the valley [TS]

00:36:53   you can't see up to the street because [TS]

00:36:55   it's so down well you see is is that [TS]

00:37:00   your your it's your very disorient [TS]

00:37:05   and also like a little scared it [TS]

00:37:08   actually had it actually accomplishes [TS]

00:37:10   that you become overwhelmed and scared [TS]

00:37:14   like scared just your body naturally [TS]

00:37:17   says like um I don't feel safe anymore [TS]

00:37:20   like like can you can we get out of here [TS]

00:37:22   but you don't know which way to go [TS]

00:37:23   mm-hmm and there are people down there [TS]

00:37:27   who are playing like not just little [TS]

00:37:30   kids but like teenagers and people in [TS]

00:37:32   their twenties stupid college students [TS]

00:37:34   who are playing peek-a-boo with each [TS]

00:37:36   other and running around because it is [TS]

00:37:38   like also a space where you get on you [TS]

00:37:41   get enough uncomfortable that it becomes [TS]

00:37:42   like well why don't we play chase but [TS]

00:37:47   again there's nobody down there to tell [TS]

00:37:49   you not to do that and so everybody's [TS]

00:37:52   interacting with it in a different way [TS]

00:37:53   and and and you do kind of your impulse [TS]

00:37:59   when some 24 year old runs past you [TS]

00:38:02   giggling your impulse is to kind of grab [TS]

00:38:05   them and say hey what the fuck are you [TS]

00:38:06   doing like yeah this is a heavy space [TS]

00:38:09   but you can't do that you have to just [TS]

00:38:12   and that adds to the it adds to your [TS]

00:38:16   fear feelings right it's not you're not [TS]

00:38:19   sitting looking over a chain surveying a [TS]

00:38:22   doughnut trying to metaphor eyes the war [TS]

00:38:26   you're having like a real emotional not [TS]

00:38:29   just momentary experience but like the [TS]

00:38:33   longer you stay down there the the more [TS]

00:38:35   you're fucked up by it anyway so that's [TS]

00:38:39   an example of like a modern memorial [TS]

00:38:41   that that accomplishes so much kind of [TS]

00:38:44   like the Vietnam Memorial do you [TS]

00:38:45   remember when the Vietnam or more of [TS]

00:38:47   blue vietnam memorial opened [TS]

00:38:49   controversial incredibly controversial [TS]

00:38:51   yeah that it was that it was too [TS]

00:38:54   abstract and that it was not yeah there [TS]

00:38:58   was there was there was I think it was [TS]

00:38:59   fairly costly but mainly was that it was [TS]

00:39:02   it was too abstract and like and like [TS]

00:39:05   goofy to represent this thing well and [TS]

00:39:07   designed by an Asian which was very [TS]

00:39:10   automatic very much a problem for people [TS]

00:39:13   at the time like wait a minute [TS]

00:39:14   mm-hmm aren't all Asians alike this one [TS]

00:39:17   designed this more [TS]

00:39:18   for tusks killing agents but it has [TS]

00:39:22   become like a major major part of the [TS]

00:39:26   experience of Washington DC and it's [TS]

00:39:27   still very emotional its perilous anyway [TS]

00:39:30   the world war ii memorial is I would not [TS]

00:39:34   say abject failure unless I meant it [TS]

00:39:37   mm-hmm it succeeds at no level except at [TS]

00:39:41   being an example of a committee decided [TS]

00:39:44   designed extremely expensive like hole [TS]

00:39:50   in the ground and it doesn't achieve [TS]

00:39:53   awesomeness you're not even awed by it [TS]

00:39:55   you're just down there going so every [TS]

00:39:57   one of these things has the name of a [TS]

00:40:00   state on it and each one has a giant [TS]

00:40:06   like bronze wreath on it mm-hmm but they [TS]

00:40:11   don't they're just meant to like oh yeah [TS]

00:40:13   so Massachusetts okay what's next [TS]

00:40:16   Oh Rhode Island like there's no there [TS]

00:40:19   are no surprises in it I was like [TS]

00:40:21   looking at that placemat yeah yeah and [TS]

00:40:24   so I walked out of there like very very [TS]

00:40:27   very disappointed not just in there like [TS]

00:40:31   I'm sure it's closed at night too [TS]

00:40:32   I'm sure there's ten guards that walk [TS]

00:40:34   around it and tell you you can't be [TS]

00:40:36   there but but it really feels like a [TS]

00:40:40   monument to our time certainly and and I [TS]

00:40:46   guess at that level it it's like when [TS]

00:40:49   you go into cities and you see new [TS]

00:40:52   developments new housing developments or [TS]

00:40:55   whatnot and you say like oh that one was [TS]

00:40:57   built in 2007 because it's the same like [TS]

00:41:01   baby shit colors that every building [TS]

00:41:04   built in 2007 was about awnings [TS]

00:41:09   certainly suddenly circa big 1984-1985 [TS]

00:41:12   everything had have an awning oh yeah [TS]

00:41:14   and awnings were everywhere and whether [TS]

00:41:17   it was your like your local like bistro [TS]

00:41:19   or the mall like suddenly everything had [TS]

00:41:21   to have an awning hit awnings and [TS]

00:41:22   atriums and they aged well it was it was [TS]

00:41:25   what like a lot of actually brutalist [TS]

00:41:27   architecture did not age well not very [TS]

00:41:28   well designed awnings get mildewy you [TS]

00:41:32   they do atriums have to be cleaned [TS]

00:41:33   regularly yeah Maitreya Hey and in most [TS]

00:41:37   cases they did not endow the building [TS]

00:41:40   with like a cleaning fund no that's that [TS]

00:41:43   is the thing about a chick-fil-a [TS]

00:41:45   pressure I'll beat your well precious [TS]

00:41:47   few chick-fil-a's have their own [TS]

00:41:49   endowment it's not Rice University like [TS]

00:41:51   there's gonna have to be there's gonna [TS]

00:41:52   have to be a you remember racks they all [TS]

00:42:00   had atria racks racks was racks was [TS]

00:42:06   somewhere between was kind of like an [TS]

00:42:07   Arby's wanna be nice or Arby's [TS]

00:42:11   I haven't thought about racks in a very [TS]

00:42:13   long time Oriole for racks I don't think [TS]

00:42:16   so I went online not very long ago and [TS]

00:42:18   looked up racks it sounds like there are [TS]

00:42:20   still wrecks you can still get a racks [TS]

00:42:22   racks roast beef tried-and-true regular [TS]

00:42:24   racks racks roast beef back in the 80s [TS]

00:42:46   when my family ate at fast-food [TS]

00:42:48   restaurants probably I mean it was still [TS]

00:42:51   nice yeah we would still get up get [TS]

00:42:54   dressed [TS]

00:42:55   go out of the house to go to the Burger [TS]

00:42:58   King or the or the Taco Bell dignity [TS]

00:43:02   back then not even the taco time at the [TS]

00:43:05   Taco Bell Taco Bell was pretty deluxe at [TS]

00:43:08   a certain time that's a pretty big deal [TS]

00:43:10   to have fresh ish Mexican food I'm not [TS]

00:43:13   trying to be that guy but Batak o belt [TS]

00:43:14   didn't used to kind of be better it was [TS]

00:43:16   so good 80s and the 80s talked about was [TS]

00:43:19   a treat we would drive to Tampa to go to [TS]

00:43:20   Taco Bell yeah right and and we would we [TS]

00:43:23   ate fast food all the time it was not it [TS]

00:43:25   was down market obviously but but back [TS]

00:43:28   then the distinction was between did you [TS]

00:43:32   eat at home or did you eat hours mm-hmm [TS]

00:43:34   and obviously like eating out we weren't [TS]

00:43:39   going to Simon and see fruits and [TS]

00:43:40   getting [TS]

00:43:42   getting like fettuccine alfredo which [TS]

00:43:45   was like pretty much had to be your [TS]

00:43:47   birthday [TS]

00:43:48   yeah or like your graduation a family [TS]

00:43:51   for 20 bucks well yeah and and and maybe [TS]

00:43:56   less right I mean I would guess it's not [TS]

00:43:57   even cheaper oh my god everything is [TS]

00:44:00   it's so crazy how cheap stuff is now you [TS]

00:44:02   get five tacos for 99 cents it's crazy [TS]

00:44:04   how cheap fast food is now it's it's got [TS]

00:44:06   to be some kind of jam up its core easy [TS]

00:44:09   how cheap it is I think they just they [TS]

00:44:11   walk cows into a giant spinning blade [TS]

00:44:15   like the top of Willy Wonka's chocolate [TS]

00:44:16   factory [TS]

00:44:17   they've oh I see what you're saying it's [TS]

00:44:19   like the big fan if they've achieved [TS]

00:44:20   scalability yeah they just want they're [TS]

00:44:23   like here cow here cow and they just [TS]

00:44:24   walk them straight into this thing and [TS]

00:44:26   pure hamburger comes out the other side [TS]

00:44:28   that's amazing used to be so much [TS]

00:44:30   messier well yeah yeah did like interact [TS]

00:44:33   with the cow a little bit given last [TS]

00:44:35   rites yeah yeah that's the Dickens [TS]

00:44:38   collar off and record its name and [TS]

00:44:40   number all right but a whole section on [TS]

00:44:46   big potatoes you can get a plain potato [TS]

00:44:48   butter potatoes sour cream potato cheese [TS]

00:44:50   potato cheese and bacon potato cheese [TS]

00:44:51   and broccoli potato chili and cheese [TS]

00:44:52   potato barbecue spot for cheese but [TS]

00:44:54   can't talk about racks here great taste [TS]

00:44:55   great selection rack see I think the [TS]

00:44:58   thing that distinguished racks was that [TS]

00:45:00   it was the first restaurant of its kind [TS]

00:45:02   that had a salad bar and it really [TS]

00:45:04   brought people in because the salad bar [TS]

00:45:07   the the like go around and wow look at [TS]

00:45:10   this it's a whole thing of garbanzo [TS]

00:45:12   beans oh my goodness look at this it's a [TS]

00:45:14   whole thing of cottage cheese yeah that [TS]

00:45:16   was really novel and and and racks was [TS]

00:45:21   early-adopter there's also that there [TS]

00:45:24   was a trend toward that eventually they [TS]

00:45:26   pulled back from but there was a trend I [TS]

00:45:28   feel like the 70s were sort of the [TS]

00:45:29   Silver Age of the or maybe the Golden [TS]

00:45:32   Age of the salad bar and then you had a [TS]

00:45:33   Silver Age of the salad bars where it [TS]

00:45:35   was like then it became kind like table [TS]

00:45:37   stakes and places like Ponderosa bonanza [TS]

00:45:39   it started they went they shifted from [TS]

00:45:41   being like a York steak house-style like [TS]

00:45:44   slightly upscale mall ish food to being [TS]

00:45:47   like it was all about all-you-can-eat [TS]

00:45:49   so you go to Ponderosa and it was always [TS]

00:45:51   like you could get a steak but mostly [TS]

00:45:52   you were there for the hot bar you were [TS]

00:45:54   you are [TS]

00:45:55   throw on some some Brandt some [TS]

00:45:57   Midwestern brand names at me that I'm [TS]

00:45:59   digging but we didn't have any of it you [TS]

00:46:01   didn't have a York stick house was nice [TS]

00:46:02   so York steak house was Northgate Mall [TS]

00:46:05   Colerain Avenue Cincinnati Ohio I think [TS]

00:46:07   it opened with the mall probably in 72 [TS]

00:46:09   and it was like our little it was like [TS]

00:46:10   if you want to go spend a little bit [TS]

00:46:12   normally after church before church you [TS]

00:46:14   get a perkins right sure your organs and [TS]

00:46:16   gets you i get strawberry pancakes [TS]

00:46:18   perkins either but yes you know that you [TS]

00:46:21   know the brand and often what you do is [TS]

00:46:23   if you got a little bit of dough after [TS]

00:46:24   church you go to forum and forum with [TS]

00:46:26   the cafeteria there's a cafeteria at our [TS]

00:46:29   mall where you had a little tray and you [TS]

00:46:30   get you know little green jello cubes a [TS]

00:46:32   little bit upscale maybe once every [TS]

00:46:33   couple months ago to New York steak [TS]

00:46:34   house which had a medieval themed week [TS]

00:46:37   out York steak house was amazing and my [TS]

00:46:41   my first grade girlfriend and I we would [TS]

00:46:44   talk about the date we would eventually [TS]

00:46:45   go on to York steak house okay oh you [TS]

00:46:49   had aspirational date aspirational David [TS]

00:46:52   Mann Splashin girlfriend yeah I think [TS]

00:46:54   it's a health care professional now I [TS]

00:46:55   was having some drinks in google it or [TS]

00:46:57   one name my first great girlfriends 50 [TS]

00:47:01   now [TS]

00:47:02   isn't it amazing it is amazing she's [TS]

00:47:04   been my age you did go out with her you [TS]

00:47:07   did it wasn't just that yeah but no I [TS]

00:47:09   changed schools 1976 once a different [TS]

00:47:10   school in fourth grade right around the [TS]

00:47:12   age that something like that might have [TS]

00:47:13   even kind of be kind to have happened [TS]

00:47:15   but now mostly phone calls about York [TS]

00:47:16   steakhouse fourth grade was my first [TS]

00:47:18   kiss my first yeah sherry Edwards kiss [TS]

00:47:21   me in third grade during a fire drill [TS]

00:47:22   Wow yeah I know right [TS]

00:47:24   she snuck you a kiss huh I untangled a [TS]

00:47:31   dog that someone had tied to a pole and [TS]

00:47:34   he had gotten himself tangled up so that [TS]

00:47:37   he was just like his collar was just [TS]

00:47:39   right next to the pole he couldn't move [TS]

00:47:41   because he spun around it so many times [TS]

00:47:43   I'm saying smart dog no um but I got a [TS]

00:47:48   bunch of people were walking past it [TS]

00:47:49   just looking at it like oh look at this [TS]

00:47:51   stupid thing and I actually got down and [TS]

00:47:54   like grabbed the dog untangle you know [TS]

00:47:58   like unhooked him untangled his leash [TS]

00:48:00   put him back together and was like I [TS]

00:48:03   don't I don't know what to tell you dog [TS]

00:48:04   like you know your owner will be back [TS]

00:48:06   soon listen to me now look [TS]

00:48:08   your guy will be back soon [TS]

00:48:11   two fingers reappointment him point me [TS]

00:48:13   her eyes like I was like here right here [TS]

00:48:15   buddy [TS]

00:48:16   two eyes up look you're gonna be okay [TS]

00:48:18   honestly I have no idea whether the [TS]

00:48:20   owner when he arrived wrapped the thing [TS]

00:48:23   around the pole 16 times because he [TS]

00:48:25   didn't want his dog to have free rein [TS]

00:48:26   but I undid the dog and when I when I [TS]

00:48:30   stood back up I turned around and this [TS]

00:48:32   girl who was somebody that I understood [TS]

00:48:38   to be a high-status girl hmm and I swear [TS]

00:48:44   to you I've tried to remember her name [TS]

00:48:45   thirty thousand times because we became [TS]

00:48:49   it was the first time I ever was [TS]

00:48:52   actively flirtatious with a with a young [TS]

00:48:56   lady Wow when we were we we saw each [TS]

00:48:59   other one time at a grocery store where [TS]

00:49:02   she was with her mom and I was with my [TS]

00:49:03   mom and our parents noticed because you [TS]

00:49:08   know we'd go up an aisle and they'd go [TS]

00:49:09   down the other aisle and when we would [TS]

00:49:11   look at each other from down the aisle [TS]

00:49:14   we were just like eyes locked like hmm [TS]

00:49:17   little birds flying around my mom was [TS]

00:49:19   like who is that girl she's really you [TS]

00:49:22   guys are really like vibin yeah [TS]

00:49:24   chemistry [TS]

00:49:25   we had chemistry but I was standing [TS]

00:49:27   there having just rescued this dog and [TS]

00:49:29   she was there and she came over and [TS]

00:49:30   kissed me and I was like what do I do [TS]

00:49:34   now what do I do now and unfortunately I [TS]

00:49:38   didn't even then this became a trait [TS]

00:49:41   throughout my life even then I like so [TS]

00:49:43   little knew what to do that I just did [TS]

00:49:47   nothing [TS]

00:49:47   shut shut down completely and was just [TS]

00:49:50   like totally normal Durer yeah but I [TS]

00:49:52   never went to her and said will you be [TS]

00:49:54   my girlfriend and she never came to me [TS]

00:49:57   and said like will you go with me or [TS]

00:49:58   whatever cuz we're in fourth grade right [TS]

00:50:00   we're not in fifth we're not so [TS]

00:50:01   sophisticated as 5th grade and then I [TS]

00:50:04   moved away I did it all so I moved away [TS]

00:50:07   to do I move to Alaska and so she went [TS]

00:50:10   on to she went on to a life so distant [TS]

00:50:13   from me that I cannot even recall her [TS]

00:50:15   name [TS]

00:50:16   Oh God and our class pictures the ones [TS]

00:50:19   that they gave us throughout the 70s [TS]

00:50:21   where we all stood in the gym or we all [TS]

00:50:23   like lined up yeah the little kids knelt [TS]

00:50:27   in the front and the tall kids stood in [TS]

00:50:29   the back yeah those those class pictures [TS]

00:50:33   have no names so they never put like all [TS]

00:50:35   the names underneath that's a memorial [TS]

00:50:37   hmm right so you well now I just look at [TS]

00:50:41   and I'm like I remember Thomas from [TS]

00:50:43   Peter Kluger and I remember that girl's [TS]

00:50:49   name right right otherwise I'm just I'm [TS]

00:50:51   blind when you're losing a little bit [TS]

00:50:53   every day [TS]

00:50:54   well yeah but I couldn't have told you [TS]

00:50:56   who they were 15 years ago [TS]

00:50:58   I sent you a link to images of York [TS]

00:51:00   steak house the last York steak house [TS]

00:51:02   closed in the late 80s well so our [TS]

00:51:06   version of that oh I see so this is like [TS]

00:51:08   yeah it's done up like a sizzler this is [TS]

00:51:11   a city like it's supposed to be like a [TS]

00:51:13   castle it's supposed to be there's like [TS]

00:51:14   yeah right right [TS]

00:51:16   in Anchorage there was a clinker dagger [TS]

00:51:20   Bickerstaff and Pitt's bigger stabbing [TS]

00:51:32   pits I think it's I don't think it's [TS]

00:51:34   Bickerstaff I think it's bigger [TS]

00:51:35   interesting but the waitresses they're [TS]

00:51:39   actually dressed like medieval wenches [TS]

00:51:41   and it was table service it wasn't like [TS]

00:51:44   walk up and there's a menu it was it was [TS]

00:51:46   the fancy medieval steakhouse I don't [TS]

00:51:49   understand why steak houses and [TS]

00:51:51   restaurants had so many themes back then [TS]

00:51:55   it's a little bit like skins there are [TS]

00:51:58   themes in a video game where you've got [TS]

00:52:00   the basic game but then you can slap [TS]

00:52:02   some adventuretime on then it's not [TS]

00:52:03   really like a large extra cost you know [TS]

00:52:05   you gotta give it a feel like Ponderosa [TS]

00:52:08   and that kind of like a Western feel [TS]

00:52:10   right like and then obviously your oh [TS]

00:52:13   god oh look at these look at that you go [TS]

00:52:15   and you pick you look at a photo of your [TS]

00:52:17   steak and you pick up by number say the [TS]

00:52:20   number well I see here now yeah a lot of [TS]

00:52:23   different kinds of pie I'm like I like a [TS]

00:52:25   lot of pie yeah [TS]

00:52:26   we had some fresh-baked bread there were [TS]

00:52:30   a couple of places in Anchorage like [TS]

00:52:31   there was a one I forget the name but [TS]

00:52:33   every room in the restaurant it was big [TS]

00:52:36   big restaurant and every room in the [TS]

00:52:38   place had a different themes so your [TS]

00:52:40   waiter would come yeah I'm sorry I got [TS]

00:52:45   involved in this page about how to [TS]

00:52:46   become a franchisee of steak and ale I'd [TS]

00:52:47   like to return to that I like the wacky [TS]

00:52:50   70s like where waiters and waitresses [TS]

00:52:52   dress up and there's themes and that [TS]

00:52:53   guy's got a straw boater on but then you [TS]

00:52:56   go the Farrell's but for spaghetti [TS]

00:52:58   exactly like a pirate hat on yeah this [TS]

00:53:03   one she's wearing a hoop skirt and and [TS]

00:53:05   he's got up you know it's a copy and all [TS]

00:53:09   the fun you would have I knew his kids [TS]

00:53:11   yes spaghetti spaghetti warehouse which [TS]

00:53:15   sounds like a terrible name that can't [TS]

00:53:16   possibly the name of this so for my [TS]

00:53:18   birthday when I was 10 spaghetti where [TS]

00:53:21   the Getty warehouse [TS]

00:53:23   so that's actually a seattle chain you [TS]

00:53:26   know that started in Seattle and they [TS]

00:53:29   had they had two different kinds of [TS]

00:53:31   bread we wheat bread and white bread [TS]

00:53:33   really a little like a little sort of [TS]

00:53:40   one of those pizza that wooden sort of [TS]

00:53:42   pizza boards oh sure sure sure it's like [TS]

00:53:46   ooh to read but for two kinds of bread [TS]

00:53:48   yep and you would have two kinds of [TS]

00:53:50   butter oh you know dairy butter no then [TS]

00:53:54   they would have garlic butter the dark [TS]

00:53:58   ramekin dark all right if you were ready [TS]

00:54:02   to go there did every Spaghetti [TS]

00:54:03   Warehouse have a trainer I thought that [TS]

00:54:05   was just ours no they all had a train [TS]

00:54:07   well they all my goodness a street car [TS]

00:54:09   or a train car yeah yeah that had tables [TS]

00:54:12   in it Oh [TS]

00:54:12   oh my god I remember this so on my tenth [TS]

00:54:16   birthday I remember this so well it's oh [TS]

00:54:18   they got meatballs calm is their domain [TS]

00:54:20   that's a great domain well it's super [TS]

00:54:22   good I mean think of all he talks about [TS]

00:54:24   call the all the businesses that could [TS]

00:54:26   have gotten meatballs calm I got bill [TS]

00:54:28   murray san group yeah right like it's [TS]

00:54:31   raining meatballs or whatever that don't [TS]

00:54:33   howl oh yeah it's raining meatballs I [TS]

00:54:34   see Chloe Clyde with chip yes yeah [TS]

00:54:37   yes meatballs comp see that's smart that [TS]

00:54:40   is smart at smart IP meatballs calm it [TS]

00:54:42   could have been anything I wanna see [TS]

00:54:45   pictures of the dressed up people well [TS]

00:54:47   so so Spaghetti Warehouse have I think [TS]

00:54:51   their signature dish [TS]

00:54:53   to be honest was Mozilla cheese mmm they [TS]

00:54:57   had Mozilla cheese which seemed so [TS]

00:55:00   exotic it was like a rear was like a [TS]

00:55:03   graded sort of sharp foreign cheese [TS]

00:55:09   ain't no parmesan was it's a-- and they [TS]

00:55:13   would make this and so so obviously what [TS]

00:55:15   you would get was half and half which [TS]

00:55:17   was half my sit through cheese on your [TS]

00:55:18   spaghetti and half meat sauce and you [TS]

00:55:21   would kind of mix the two in the might [TS]

00:55:23   or or if you were some if you were the [TS]

00:55:25   other kind of person you'd eat a little [TS]

00:55:27   bit of missus rim they need to eat a [TS]

00:55:28   little bit of meat [TS]

00:55:30   it was definitely where you went for [TS]

00:55:33   your birthday and and in Seattle it [TS]

00:55:34   remains the place that you go on prom [TS]

00:55:36   night [TS]

00:55:37   is that right starting during prom [TS]

00:55:39   season you can't even go into a [TS]

00:55:42   spaghetti warehouse is that right that's [TS]

00:55:43   so interesting so many proms happening [TS]

00:55:46   see this is also this is a little bit [TS]

00:55:48   orthogonal to the sort of Bennigan's [TS]

00:55:51   Bennigan's was also Bennigan's to me was [TS]

00:55:53   like you know very Steely Dan kind of [TS]

00:55:56   like ferns and brass kind of place then [TS]

00:55:58   there was that trend of like what [TS]

00:55:59   Cracker Barrel type things but like shit [TS]

00:56:01   on the walls kind of places [TS]

00:56:03   spaghetti warehouses a little bit of a [TS]

00:56:05   shit on the walls kind of places don't [TS]

00:56:06   you think oh there could be a loom or an [TS]

00:56:08   old coca-cola sign that kind of thing [TS]

00:56:10   yeah but but the Spaghetti Warehouse had [TS]

00:56:14   it was very old-timey it was very [TS]

00:56:17   streetcar in the middle of the of the [TS]

00:56:20   restaurant spot and yeah they would have [TS]

00:56:24   worn gaiters on there or like believe [TS]

00:56:30   stop yes exactly so it appears that so [TS]

00:56:34   did you ever stick a nail was was always [TS]

00:56:38   loomed large in my childhood you didn't [TS]

00:56:40   have those well sticking out was like [TS]

00:56:42   again it's a little bit medieval you go [TS]

00:56:44   in the menu is on a cleaver they hand [TS]

00:56:48   you a cleaver weighs a couple pounds and [TS]

00:56:50   that [TS]

00:56:50   got the menu on it but it's not a sharp [TS]

00:56:52   libra it's a donkey it's a pretty dull [TS]

00:56:54   cleaver it's a medieval cleaver and they [TS]

00:56:56   give you the menu on that so this is a [TS]

00:56:57   page at Bennigan's calm which apparently [TS]

00:57:00   now owns take a nail and this is this is [TS]

00:57:03   a certain kind of webpage that I really [TS]

00:57:04   enjoy that was never written for a human [TS]

00:57:07   being the headline on the pages thank [TS]

00:57:09   you for your interest well and being a [TS]

00:57:16   part of the legendary family of brands [TS]

00:57:18   Bennigan's Bennigan's on the fly and [TS]

00:57:20   steak and ale that's the interest that [TS]

00:57:22   they're thanking you for we are pleased [TS]

00:57:24   to share some information about our [TS]

00:57:25   beloved brands once you've read through [TS]

00:57:27   these materials we would welcome the [TS]

00:57:29   opportunity to speak franchise created [TS]

00:57:34   in 1966 by Norman breaker period once [TS]

00:57:38   revered for its once revered for its [TS]

00:57:39   succulent prime rib warm bread and [TS]

00:57:41   bountiful salad bar sticky nail is [TS]

00:57:42   poised for an epic comeback redefining I [TS]

00:57:47   think I'm doing munch squad redefined as [TS]

00:57:49   a 21st century polished casual consular [TS]

00:57:54   elements that made it an American [TS]

00:57:55   classic the new sticky nail will once [TS]

00:57:57   again set the standard for affordable [TS]

00:57:59   stay guided and supported by an expert [TS]

00:58:02   operations and management team qualified [TS]

00:58:04   franchisees have the opportunity to [TS]

00:58:06   generate a media consumer loyalty by [TS]

00:58:08   bringing back a beloved restaurant [TS]

00:58:10   blessed with decades of goodwill and [TS]

00:58:12   brand equity whoa blessed they just put [TS]

00:58:15   it right out you're getting what I'm [TS]

00:58:16   getting from this though this is kind of [TS]

00:58:18   like boy this is my 67 Mustang that [TS]

00:58:23   nobody hasn't been able to start in 30 [TS]

00:58:25   years won't it be great you imagine [TS]

00:58:28   yourself driving this thing how great [TS]

00:58:29   that is gonna be does it have a little [TS]

00:58:30   bit that feel to it well the people that [TS]

00:58:33   open franchises that's always been very [TS]

00:58:37   curious to me right it's like I want to [TS]

00:58:39   own a restaurant but I don't want to [TS]

00:58:41   think about it I don't want to think [TS]

00:58:42   about all that restaurant e stuff like [TS]

00:58:44   right what kind of restaurant what we [TS]

00:58:46   what it what what our menu is like a [TS]

00:58:50   very retired sports guy thing to do yeah [TS]

00:58:53   like owning a Pawnee what exactly you [TS]

00:58:56   want to like invest in this turnkey [TS]

00:58:58   operation isn't that kind of like isn't [TS]

00:59:00   that the appeal to a lot of people's [TS]

00:59:02   like okay I have $150,000 [TS]

00:59:04   to invest in something I want something [TS]

00:59:06   that's gonna grow and I don't have to do [TS]

00:59:07   too much work on so I become a [TS]

00:59:08   franchisee yeah and there's a ton of [TS]

00:59:10   there are other franchisees out there [TS]

00:59:13   who are gonna help me figure out how to [TS]

00:59:14   hire a manager and then I really got a [TS]

00:59:17   great operations team at Bennigan's I [TS]

00:59:19   bet they do and you know they're like [TS]

00:59:21   McDonald's franchisees a lot of them [TS]

00:59:23   have five or six different restaurants [TS]

00:59:25   and they're just like we're I guess [TS]

00:59:26   raking in the dough yeah you can tell [TS]

00:59:29   the franchisee McDonald's it's not this [TS]

00:59:30   it's really interesting to think that [TS]

00:59:33   well first of all who's gonna go to the [TS]

00:59:36   steak and ale web website obviously they [TS]

00:59:38   don't think it's gonna be a customer now [TS]

00:59:41   who wants to see the menu they don't [TS]

00:59:43   think we should look at this you and me [TS]

00:59:44   it's the title the page is owned a steak [TS]

00:59:47   and ale dress here you just let them [TS]

00:59:52   know you can help bring back this [TS]

00:59:53   American classic all right I'm looking [TS]

00:59:55   up steak and ale here host well no stop [TS]

00:59:59   speaking [TS]

00:59:59   speaking [TS]

01:00:00   yeah here you go slash Bennigan's Wow oh [TS]

01:00:03   and it had you sort of like a a brand on [TS]

01:00:06   wood mm-hmm so that that would suggest [TS]

01:00:10   Western but then I see that the other [TS]

01:00:13   logo is a shield establish 1966 which [TS]

01:00:17   was a heyday for medieval period oh this [TS]

01:00:21   is great oh my gosh they've built out a [TS]

01:00:23   whole site for this step one Weiss take [TS]

01:00:25   a nail the new stick a nail offers a [TS]

01:00:27   contemporary cost-effective franchise [TS]

01:00:29   opportunity for with a highly [TS]

01:00:30   recognizable brand and jumping down our [TS]

01:00:32   franchisees benefit from a state of the [TS]

01:00:34   art restaurant prototype computing unit [TS]

01:00:36   economics low cost of entry contemporary [TS]

01:00:38   look with iconic elements warm intimate [TS]

01:00:40   atmosphere smaller footprint to increase [TS]

01:00:41   real-estate flexibility right right [TS]

01:00:43   right right small footprint investment [TS]

01:00:50   profile you get a polished casual [TS]

01:00:53   experience at a casual dining price [TS]

01:00:54   point yeah franchise might be localized [TS]

01:00:56   and they appeal to multiple generations [TS]

01:00:58   so so here's my question yeah I know [TS]

01:01:02   what a Bennigan's is and I know what a [TS]

01:01:04   steak a nail is but what is a Bennigan's [TS]

01:01:06   on the fly I think a Bennigan's on the [TS]

01:01:07   fly it's gonna be like that you know how [TS]

01:01:10   shitty Chili's is but then you get to [TS]

01:01:11   even shittier Chili's next to Chili's in [TS]

01:01:14   an airport what's that called Chili's to [TS]

01:01:19   go chili squirts like that I bet it's a [TS]

01:01:23   little squirts I bet it's like that with [TS]

01:01:25   the benning's on the flight let's find [TS]

01:01:26   out about betting it's on-the-fly [TS]

01:01:27   Bennigan's on the fly I just feel like [TS]

01:01:28   you you could not say that without [TS]

01:01:30   making a little bit of a hip hop gesture [TS]

01:01:33   with your hands like a little bit of I [TS]

01:01:36   did it with a little bit you hit it with [TS]

01:01:39   some backwards palm out uh-huh [TS]

01:01:42   like like back of hand out accentuation [TS]

01:01:45   Hawks on Teague oh and guess what same [TS]

01:01:49   number same email address thank you for [TS]

01:01:50   interest in being part of the legendary [TS]

01:01:52   family of brands Bennigan's you can buy [TS]

01:01:53   a Bennigan's Bennigan's is a high-energy [TS]

01:01:55   neighborhood restaurant and tavern that [TS]

01:01:56   is redefining casual dining Wow again Oh [TS]

01:02:00   bleats green demonstrates a 25/8 focus [TS]

01:02:03   on supporting our franchise community [TS]

01:02:05   25/8 [TS]

01:02:06   they bleed green oh they're they're [TS]

01:02:08   making a connection to their Irish roots [TS]

01:02:10   they bleed green and the demonstrative [TS]

01:02:13   25/8 folk [TS]

01:02:13   that's like you know the Beatles eight [TS]

01:02:15   days a week 25 hours a day eight days a [TS]

01:02:17   week [TS]

01:02:17   I think it's what that 25 825 825 no [TS]

01:02:21   they don't really say 25 eight dancing [TS]

01:02:23   quotes 25 hours a day eight days a week [TS]

01:02:26   all the forms pretty long you thought a [TS]

01:02:28   form I'm just saying you and me I don't [TS]

01:02:30   know what guy I don't have a lot extra [TS]

01:02:31   dough right now but like I'm thinking [TS]

01:02:33   maybe between you me you know Ken [TS]

01:02:34   Jennings when we go in and I'm like a [TS]

01:02:37   bet against or a stick in hell I'm gonna [TS]

01:02:38   leave nothing here so you know what i [TS]

01:02:40   just did i clicked on Bennigan's fran [TS]

01:02:43   franchise opportunities international oh [TS]

01:02:45   and that actually has a five-step [TS]

01:02:48   process yeah step one why Bennigan's [TS]

01:02:52   stem to growth markets yeah yeah they [TS]

01:02:54   got it for all of them I'm telling you [TS]

01:02:56   that you click on domestic you get this [TS]

01:02:57   - but not for international I bet that's [TS]

01:02:59   a good deal more complicated for [TS]

01:03:00   international well so here's here's what [TS]

01:03:02   I see when I click on the growth markets [TS]

01:03:04   map I see several Bennigan's in Mexico [TS]

01:03:07   looks more than a handful and then one [TS]

01:03:10   that appears to be in Ankara Turkey oh [TS]

01:03:14   yeah look at that and one in South Korea [TS]

01:03:17   okay oh oh at least Wow is that a shadow [TS]

01:03:20   or there - oh there might be two - in [TS]

01:03:23   South Korea one in one in Turkey or [TS]

01:03:26   maybe on the island of Crete [TS]

01:03:29   it's hard to tell exactly because they [TS]

01:03:31   won't let me zoom in on the map I know [TS]

01:03:32   it's very far there's not a single one [TS]

01:03:34   in Europe I feel like you could put [TS]

01:03:36   thirty of these in Saudi Arabia [TS]

01:03:38   oh absolutely put some TVs up but then [TS]

01:03:42   you look at the sign and it says [TS]

01:03:43   American fare Irish hospitality Irish [TS]

01:03:48   hospitality okay when you think of [TS]

01:03:49   hospitality yeah I guess taking Irish [TS]

01:03:51   you really do think of the Irish current [TS]

01:03:54   promotions well I you know obviously [TS]

01:03:55   this is gonna be an oh my goodness oh my [TS]

01:03:58   goodness I'm on the now I'm on the [TS]

01:04:00   current promotions page for Bennigan's [TS]

01:04:01   the yolo Monta burger that's got some [TS]

01:04:05   kind of a cream on it and it's got a [TS]

01:04:06   sauce on top of the bun that's a very [TS]

01:04:08   Irish name Yolo mana dellamonte [TS]

01:04:10   [Laughter] [TS]

01:04:13   yolo Monta like on Hollywood Squares at [TS]

01:04:16   some point tell me tell me do you think [TS]

01:04:22   yeah you me owning a franchise [TS]

01:04:26   restaurant [TS]

01:04:27   let's start start with the relationship [TS]

01:04:29   not the property right right we'll find [TS]

01:04:31   the property that matches what it is [TS]

01:04:33   that we're about I think you and if with [TS]

01:04:36   the two of us we're gonna open a [TS]

01:04:37   franchise restaurant we would pick a [TS]

01:04:39   third city that's neither of our cities [TS]

01:04:43   right like we could put one in Missoula [TS]

01:04:46   Montana let's say is it selfish for us [TS]

01:04:48   to want the kinds of foods that we like [TS]

01:04:50   to have at certain times of day because [TS]

01:04:51   I feel like a big part is a passion [TS]

01:04:53   project we're like you're not just gonna [TS]

01:04:55   go into this as an investor this is a [TS]

01:04:57   lifestyle job like if we're gonna really [TS]

01:04:58   put our back into it there should [TS]

01:05:00   probably be some dim sum so you want to [TS]

01:05:02   put this in a city where you can go and [TS]

01:05:04   kind of be be the boss be the big can [TS]

01:05:06   turn it what if we just don't care and [TS]

01:05:09   it's really just about making money [TS]

01:05:10   that's another way to look at it yeah [TS]

01:05:13   like it sits in Winnemucca Nevada and [TS]

01:05:16   neither of us ever go there put in [TS]

01:05:18   Bakersfield or we could open two of them [TS]

01:05:21   one in Seattle and one in in San [TS]

01:05:23   Francisco I just wonder if you're the [TS]

01:05:24   owner of a Bennigan's on the fly yes can [TS]

01:05:28   you be one of those people that's like [TS]

01:05:29   well that's the that's the bosses table [TS]

01:05:32   like the table always has a reserved but [TS]

01:05:34   tent on it and you're just like I that's [TS]

01:05:36   you know we keep that for the boss cuz [TS]

01:05:38   he comes in all the time and once a I [TS]

01:05:40   understand what you're saying you're [TS]

01:05:42   saying look I'm more than the franchisee [TS]

01:05:44   like I'm the owner well yeah if I don't [TS]

01:05:46   want to have potatoes on this menu guess [TS]

01:05:48   what no potatoes on that menu this is [TS]

01:05:50   the way John likes it you cook the [TS]

01:05:51   burgers the way you like it the only [TS]

01:05:52   reason I would open a restaurant is to [TS]

01:05:54   give myself somewhere to go every day [TS]

01:05:56   you get a big table you get a bank at [TS]

01:05:58   like a big curvy banquette well yeah we [TS]

01:06:00   you that's all just always reserved for [TS]

01:06:01   John you sit in there sometimes people [TS]

01:06:03   come over and I'm gonna pay you in [TS]

01:06:20   installments and you're like no I'm [TS]

01:06:22   afraid you're not I'm afraid you're [TS]

01:06:24   gonna give me that 50 grand by Friday or [TS]

01:06:26   and then a guy a really big guy breaks [TS]

01:06:31   knuckles to give him a breadstick yeah [TS]

01:06:33   you kind of stand he takes two steps [TS]

01:06:35   closer to him sort of like sort of like [TS]

01:06:38   the Mountain Inn [TS]

01:06:40   all exactly you step a little bit too [TS]

01:06:42   close to the Queen yeah he never says [TS]

01:06:44   anything you cannot pick up ideas now [TS]

01:06:46   what got a de Deus what if you had like [TS]

01:06:50   a raised area not precisely an Iron [TS]

01:06:52   Throne well like an iron bank at what if [TS]

01:06:53   you got an area that was just for John [TS]

01:06:55   and the people that he invited into [TS]

01:06:56   court it would absolutely be a little [TS]

01:06:58   bit higher than anything else in the [TS]

01:07:00   room it would be it's like when you go [TS]

01:07:05   to the pharmacy right just just enough [TS]

01:07:07   to be kind of annoying a little bit [TS]

01:07:08   higher yeah and then the tip the chairs [TS]

01:07:10   on the other side of the table all have [TS]

01:07:12   their legs cut down like just an inch [TS]

01:07:14   just all the customers chairs have the [TS]

01:07:17   diagonals of legs just like an eighth of [TS]

01:07:19   an inch shorter so you're never quite [TS]

01:07:20   comfortable yeah they're always kind of [TS]

01:07:22   sitting there well you know what's your [TS]

01:07:23   customers you want your customers to [TS]

01:07:25   come back it's just the people that are [TS]

01:07:27   sitting them close to you oh it was [TS]

01:07:28   close to you well I think it's a good [TS]

01:07:30   idea for you to keep everybody on their [TS]

01:07:31   toes they go with piles of paper and [TS]

01:07:41   also wearing sunglasses that are tinted [TS]

01:07:43   at the top but not as a bother [TS]

01:07:46   it's kind of like Jim Jones franchise [TS]

01:07:49   opportunity and they keep like three [TS]

01:07:51   times the day they come out put a steak [TS]

01:07:52   in front of that's the only reason I [TS]

01:08:06   would open a Bennigan's on the fly to [TS]

01:08:08   give myself that the waiters be allowed [TS]

01:08:10   to vape not during no working hours but [TS]

01:08:14   you can stand in the back of the kitchen [TS]

01:08:16   you can stand in the back of the kitchen [TS]

01:08:17   and bake a fan's back there but I like [TS]

01:08:20   those kinds of places that are like the [TS]

01:08:21   low what you're describing though I've [TS]

01:08:23   seen a lot at like you know one owner [TS]

01:08:26   one-off restaurants where there will be [TS]

01:08:29   a table that the owner always sits at [TS]

01:08:30   and basically conducts business from I [TS]

01:08:32   think you could fuck this up real good [TS]

01:08:33   regardless you know yeah I like the idea [TS]

01:08:35   of a turnkey operation though maybe some [TS]

01:08:37   place that used to be a Pizza Hut and [TS]

01:08:38   then it was a dentist office and now [TS]

01:08:39   you're gonna make it into John's [TS]

01:08:40   restaurant or yeah an old Taco Bell [TS]

01:08:43   where the roof line or all the time in [TS]

01:08:46   Washington you see like really old [TS]

01:08:49   international houses of pancakes where [TS]

01:08:51   they have that super tall blue [TS]

01:08:53   yes yeah unmistakable but you know like [TS]

01:08:56   an a-frame tall roof but now it's a Thai [TS]

01:08:59   restaurant there's a there's mini sites [TS]

01:09:01   like this one I'm looking at right now [TS]

01:09:02   is used to be a Pizza Hut dot blog [TS]

01:09:05   spot.com kind of that red which is like [TS]

01:09:10   Taco Bell I hop in Pizza Hut you can't [TS]

01:09:12   wash that off that's always I mean no [TS]

01:09:14   matter how much good dental work you [TS]

01:09:15   doing there it's always gonna be a Taco [TS]

01:09:17   Bell used to be this is the kind of [TS]

01:09:20   website that makes me so happy [TS]

01:09:22   oh god John used to be a pizza found it [TS]

01:09:24   good and not fooling anybody calm oh my [TS]

01:09:29   god used to be a pizza it has a world [TS]

01:09:31   map uh-huh cupboard with doubt with dots [TS]

01:09:35   where you can go to all be used to be a [TS]

01:09:37   Pizza Huts Oh what's the other once it [TS]

01:09:40   was called clear your calendar I'm not [TS]

01:09:42   fooling anybody calm and then you click [TS]

01:09:44   on original restaurants show me [TS]

01:09:46   everything that used to be an Arby's [TS]

01:09:48   everything that used to be a very [TS]

01:09:52   important website this could be this [TS]

01:09:54   could really guide us who are these [TS]

01:09:57   would want to be what Ken Jennings want [TS]

01:09:59   to be maybe like a like a silent partner [TS]

01:10:01   on this do you think you know he's uh he [TS]

01:10:04   he's pretty guards his brand pretty [TS]

01:10:07   carefully right he's not he doesn't want [TS]

01:10:09   to just go out and open us monthly [TS]

01:10:10   agreed to be silent - oh I see what [TS]

01:10:13   you're saying you know he's silent we're [TS]

01:10:15   silent we don't even talk about it he [TS]

01:10:16   just gets a check a couple years Marland [TS]

01:10:18   I forgot entirely about fotomat now what [TS]

01:10:22   did what became a fotomat the smoke it's [TS]

01:10:31   a drive-up cigarette store oh look at [TS]

01:10:34   that [TS]

01:10:34   that I love photo mats are things I'm [TS]

01:10:37   choosing anybody calm has a manifesto [TS]

01:10:39   okay oh it is not without the bitter [TS]

01:10:41   taste of self-awareness specifically [TS]

01:10:43   about the overwhelmingly crass and [TS]

01:10:45   commercial and indeed downtrodden and [TS]

01:10:48   dreary bleakly suburban and economically [TS]

01:10:51   grim and premature of the content of [TS]

01:10:53   this site that we at NFA not fooling [TS]

01:10:55   anybody embark on our quest to document [TS]

01:10:59   bad conversions oh this is a labor of [TS]

01:11:03   love for some nutjob [TS]

01:11:05   friends god it's like them I know a gal [TS]

01:11:09   who has an Instagram page which is just [TS]

01:11:11   called street seats and what she wants [TS]

01:11:14   is you to send her any picture of a [TS]

01:11:17   chair or couch that someone has put out [TS]

01:11:19   on the sidewalk oh there's a tumblr [TS]

01:11:22   called want to take a nap and it's just [TS]

01:11:25   mattresses on the street field guide the [TS]

01:11:29   field guide to comment bad conversions [TS]

01:11:32   okay so this is they don't they do have [TS]

01:11:35   pond or I hop you got to be blind to [TS]

01:11:37   miss an IHOP those ginormous a-frame [TS]

01:11:39   restaurants make excellent conversions [TS]

01:11:40   into all kinds of strange things from [TS]

01:11:41   car dealerships to supermarkets Hardee's [TS]

01:11:44   and Carl's jr. friendlies yep Long John [TS]

01:11:47   Silver's Dairy Queen well they have [TS]

01:11:50   ponderosas here you were talking about [TS]

01:11:51   them pond Ponderosa I think they're [TS]

01:11:53   still around diesel I abandoned around [TS]

01:11:54   the city as well as the open range look [TS]

01:11:56   for high vertical beige oh yes of course [TS]

01:11:58   it's very distinctive and they've got a [TS]

01:12:01   very helpful little guide here oh the [TS]

01:12:02   Kettering Chiropractic Center you know [TS]

01:12:04   hopefully that used to be it that used [TS]

01:12:06   to be a Ponderosa here's a question I've [TS]

01:12:08   always wanted to ask somebody and [TS]

01:12:09   there's really nobody I nobody better [TS]

01:12:11   than you to ask yeah please what is the [TS]

01:12:15   deal with Wiener schnitzel I've never [TS]

01:12:18   I've never known that sounds like one of [TS]

01:12:19   those things they mention in a movie [TS]

01:12:21   based in like LA and I just don't know [TS]

01:12:23   what it means [TS]

01:12:23   it's a hot dog place it's a hot dog [TS]

01:12:26   place but the problem is Wiener [TS]

01:12:28   schnitzel or yeah if you will the Vayner [TS]

01:12:32   schnitzel that's an actual dish is a [TS]

01:12:34   veal it's like a pounded pork cutlet [TS]

01:12:38   that's it there you go [TS]

01:12:39   what an actual meal it's a it's an [TS]

01:12:41   actual venous Nets of the Austrian dish [TS]

01:12:43   is not a hot dog or sausage of any kind [TS]

01:12:48   eat this cutlet out of place but if I [TS]

01:12:51   went in expecting this cutlet and got [TS]

01:12:52   the offer of hot dogs I think I'd be [TS]

01:12:54   sorely disappointed yeah someone in a [TS]

01:12:55   weird hat that's got hot dogs on [TS]

01:12:57   lemonade which were the two things that [TS]

01:12:59   they served at weenus is strange and [TS]

01:13:01   you're just like if you want to put the [TS]

01:13:02   word Wiener in something yeah [TS]

01:13:04   go right ahead call it a war you know [TS]

01:13:07   call it a wiener popper I think that was [TS]

01:13:09   a journey as a castle Kessler's schloss [TS]

01:13:11   maybe Venus loss would be nerf loss [TS]

01:13:14   because the response but also we should [TS]

01:13:18   put [TS]

01:13:27   if anybody wants to draw that up as a [TS]

01:13:29   concept where we're willing to franchise [TS]

01:13:32   would be fine we may we may we're [TS]

01:13:34   looking at a lot of offers right now as [TS]

01:13:35   you can tell we still got a lot of ideas [TS]

01:13:37   in the air I wish we use somebody that [TS]

01:13:39   could do Internet coding we could get [TS]

01:13:41   maybe we get damn Benjamin to do it [TS]

01:13:42   CODIS up a site beaner lost comm and we [TS]

01:13:46   put Gila called the Venus lost method we [TS]

01:13:49   put it right next to Venus missiles [TS]

01:13:51   except all we serve is the inner [TS]

01:13:53   schnitzel yeah take that in mint and [TS]

01:13:55   then they're like oh we got hot dogs [TS]

01:13:57   it's like boy this is hot sorry buddies [TS]

01:13:59   who's disappointed now right you come in [TS]

01:14:01   your own place you think it's gonna be [TS]

01:14:02   hot dogs fuck that [TS]

01:14:03   you're gonna collect a cutlet pork pork [TS]

01:14:06   pounded cutlets breaded and fried with [TS]

01:14:07   an egg on it the thing is that if you go [TS]

01:14:11   across Europe a schnitzel is the basic [TS]

01:14:16   food item in any place like any time you [TS]

01:14:20   walk into a pub and sit down and open [TS]

01:14:22   the menu there are six kinds of [TS]

01:14:24   schnitzel it's the first thing on the [TS]

01:14:25   this is there many cultures that feature [TS]

01:14:28   something like a schnitzel yes schnitzel [TS]

01:14:32   schnitzel everywhere mr. schnitzel ah [TS]

01:14:35   schnitzel that famous song that song by [TS]

01:14:39   heidi Gruber Schmitz which was it's [TS]

01:14:42   raining schnitzel Holly it's raining [TS]

01:14:44   schnitzel ah schnitzel and as you go [TS]

01:14:49   down yeah the Venus nintzel is the last [TS]

01:14:51   thing on the menu and it always has an [TS]

01:14:52   egg on it or whatever mm-hmm so you need [TS]

01:14:55   to go no no oh tonkatsu yeah that would [TS]

01:14:58   count [TS]

01:14:58   tonkatsu I could see that counting it's [TS]

01:15:00   so smooth that's a kind of a schnitzel [TS]

01:15:02   we're skipping over we're really burying [TS]

01:15:04   the lede [TS]

01:15:05   what do you can do about a phone now [TS]

01:15:07   because this is I mean really this is [TS]

01:15:09   probably should say this for the next [TS]

01:15:10   episode this could be a whole thing but [TS]

01:15:12   have you made a decision about what to [TS]

01:15:14   do next about a phone so here's the [TS]

01:15:15   thing I lost the phone I decided I was [TS]

01:15:18   gonna go without a phone see how that [TS]

01:15:21   worked [TS]

01:15:21   see what happened because I I needed to [TS]

01:15:24   get the phone out of my head because the [TS]

01:15:29   energy problems the well and just like [TS]

01:15:31   I'm just like I [TS]

01:15:32   kans you're thinking about your phone [TS]

01:15:35   all the time even when you're not [TS]

01:15:36   looking at it so you're walking around [TS]

01:15:38   and like 10% of your head is just always [TS]

01:15:40   in your phone yeah and I was just [TS]

01:15:43   noticing like anytime I had a moment I [TS]

01:15:45   looked at my phone any time I would come [TS]

01:15:47   in the house and I'd be like oh what a [TS]

01:15:49   tough day and my kid would go get a book [TS]

01:15:52   and I would go look at my phone and then [TS]

01:15:56   she would come out she'd be done with [TS]

01:15:58   her book and she'd come out and say like [TS]

01:16:00   hey and I'd still be a looking at the [TS]

01:16:02   phone so I left the phone and I was like [TS]

01:16:04   no phone how do you like that [TS]

01:16:05   and it was even good it would leave it [TS]

01:16:08   man it was tough because in the course [TS]

01:16:10   of a day there are always a couple of [TS]

01:16:11   times when it's like okay I'm in transit [TS]

01:16:13   now I'm leaving my house and I'm going [TS]

01:16:15   to somewhere yeah and now nobody can get [TS]

01:16:18   in touch with me and that's how we lived [TS]

01:16:20   our entire lives but now it is an [TS]

01:16:22   impossible problem for people yeah and [TS]

01:16:24   then I was getting text from a lot of [TS]

01:16:26   people including you and people were [TS]

01:16:28   like are you okay and I got a couple of [TS]

01:16:32   Instagram messages that were like hey [TS]

01:16:34   buddy [TS]

01:16:34   what's going on in your life ya notice [TS]

01:16:36   you haven't posted in a while and I was [TS]

01:16:38   like I'm fine with this I am fine with [TS]

01:16:40   this because I don't have this monkey on [TS]

01:16:44   my back no more monkey and then I said [TS]

01:16:47   you I mean the thing is you you you want [TS]

01:16:48   cold turkey it's sort of like if you get [TS]

01:16:50   really really sick and you stop eating [TS]

01:16:52   and drinking coffee you go you know this [TS]

01:16:54   is a good opportunity for me to just [TS]

01:16:55   quit drinking coffee I've already quit [TS]

01:16:56   drinking coffee I would just be [TS]

01:16:57   continuing not drinking coffee right [TS]

01:16:58   that's right it was visited upon you [TS]

01:17:00   that's how you quit smoking you get sick [TS]

01:17:02   and you're like I can't smoke and you [TS]

01:17:03   get really sick you can't smoke for [TS]

01:17:05   seven days and then you're you're [TS]

01:17:07   through the worst of it mm-hmm but so I [TS]

01:17:11   was without it and then we were going to [TS]

01:17:13   Washington DC and my daughter's mother [TS]

01:17:16   said you can't go to Washington DC and [TS]

01:17:18   not have a phone I was like yeah okay [TS]

01:17:22   and then she opens a drawer and says I [TS]

01:17:25   have an old iPhone six here you go [TS]

01:17:28   pretty good it's a nice huh uh-huh so [TS]

01:17:31   what I did was I switched SIM cards [TS]

01:17:34   right without doing anything else so all [TS]

01:17:38   of a sudden I had like her old phone [TS]

01:17:41   full of her old [TS]

01:17:44   address book and stuff but all it did [TS]

01:17:49   was but you could call me and some smile [TS]

01:17:53   it was just it was a phone call [TS]

01:17:54   receiving device right but and I'm [TS]

01:17:57   explicably it had every once in a while [TS]

01:18:00   one of my texts would come through about [TS]

01:18:02   20% of people's people sending me texts [TS]

01:18:05   came through and it allowed me to go on [TS]

01:18:08   the internet those were the three things [TS]

01:18:09   that could do okay [TS]

01:18:11   and from the internet I could go to [TS]

01:18:13   Gmail and look at my mail but I sort of [TS]

01:18:16   was like yeah whatever you know and so I [TS]

01:18:19   went around so for two weeks I had no [TS]

01:18:21   smartphone I didn't I haven't posted [TS]

01:18:23   really to anything and so here's what [TS]

01:18:27   happened so and I was like I'm gonna get [TS]

01:18:28   a flip phone I'm done with smart phones [TS]

01:18:30   I'm gonna be like granddad with one of [TS]

01:18:33   those flip phones that has really big [TS]

01:18:34   buttons oh nice and then I will text my [TS]

01:18:37   friends with no punctuation and you're [TS]

01:18:39   going all in you're going on it's gonna [TS]

01:18:41   be old old school old school but what [TS]

01:18:44   happened was at the end of the day I [TS]

01:18:46   would go sit at my laptop and conduct [TS]

01:18:49   whatever small amount of business came [TS]

01:18:51   in through email and I swear to you [TS]

01:18:54   Merlin the thing that was the thing that [TS]

01:18:57   part of me that hole in in my life that [TS]

01:19:01   used to be fulfilled by the cell phone [TS]

01:19:04   mm-hm [TS]

01:19:04   I immediately went back on 4chan no like [TS]

01:19:13   to fortune Oh [TS]

01:19:15   fortune has changed a lot since I was [TS]

01:19:18   there five years ago more toxic John [TS]

01:19:20   well all of the old people that were [TS]

01:19:25   like let's go doc somebody or likes raid [TS]

01:19:28   this website devoted to cheerleaders or [TS]

01:19:30   let's just you know anonymous all those [TS]

01:19:33   guys are gone as far as I can tell and [TS]

01:19:35   all that's on there now is like post [TS]

01:19:39   naked you know do you have any naked [TS]

01:19:40   pictures of your girlfriend post them [TS]

01:19:43   or there's a new thing that never [TS]

01:19:45   existed before which is rate my dick [TS]

01:19:49   rate my dick right where people just [TS]

01:19:51   take a picture of their dick it's like [TS]

01:19:52   to take a photograph of their penis and [TS]

01:19:53   they put on the website and then people [TS]

01:19:55   offer like encouraging remarks yeah like [TS]

01:19:57   oh you've got a nice dick or holies [TS]

01:19:59   you've got a big dick and then they're [TS]

01:20:01   because it's anonymous right then [TS]

01:20:03   there's like oh I have a small dick yes [TS]

01:20:05   yes you do have a small dick yes and [TS]

01:20:08   there's probably 14 of those threads [TS]

01:20:10   every day and that was you never saw [TS]

01:20:13   somebody like rape my dick back in the [TS]

01:20:15   back in 2010 there's nobody does [TS]

01:20:21   anything anytime and nobody like does [TS]

01:20:23   anything in the outside world everyone [TS]

01:20:24   smiles somebody will be like this guy's [TS]

01:20:26   a jerk let's send a bunch of pizzas to [TS]

01:20:27   his house and the only replies will be [TS]

01:20:30   not your personal army nobody wants to [TS]

01:20:32   do anything Oh [TS]

01:20:34   today they've lost the fire and then all [TS]

01:20:36   the what used to be Gore threads who are [TS]

01:20:40   now called rekt threads and I know [TS]

01:20:43   enough from my own personal experience [TS]

01:20:45   looking at Gore threads that I do not [TS]

01:20:47   want anything to do with them I do not [TS]

01:20:48   click on them or look at them at all [TS]

01:20:50   because I don't want to see people die [TS]

01:20:52   no and what else is different about [TS]

01:20:55   4chan it's just mostly porn now it's [TS]

01:20:58   like furry paws that's disappointing [TS]

01:21:00   that's very disliked it's really the [TS]

01:21:02   bottom went out him but so so I went [TS]

01:21:05   back to porch and I'm just and it's like [TS]

01:21:06   what is wrong with me does anybody [TS]

01:21:09   remember laws yeah what about lols what [TS]

01:21:15   is wrong with me that I can't that [TS]

01:21:18   there's something we're not having my [TS]

01:21:22   not having my social media stuff right [TS]

01:21:24   at hand [TS]

01:21:25   mm-hmm I went to this like you thought [TS]

01:21:29   you saw the surrogate without even [TS]

01:21:30   realizing it yeah this weird blonde the [TS]

01:21:32   whole of the internet and every once [TS]

01:21:34   while somebody will start a thread who [TS]

01:21:36   are like I used to come on this site and [TS]

01:21:37   I was gone for a long time and now I [TS]

01:21:39   came back and you guys suck speaking [TS]

01:21:42   speaking the truth to power but the [TS]

01:21:44   thing is this is another thing somebody [TS]

01:21:46   will put put a thread up that's like all [TS]

01:21:50   right everybody check in like who's out [TS]

01:21:52   there and it's astonishing there are [TS]

01:21:55   probably 50% of the people [TS]

01:21:56   twenty four years old but then there are [TS]

01:21:59   all these people that are like I'm 55 [TS]

01:22:01   years old my work for the FBI or I'm you [TS]

01:22:04   know 49 and independently wealthy and [TS]

01:22:06   and like people from all walks of life [TS]

01:22:10   are still on they're still creeping on [TS]

01:22:13   this what do you say when you check in I [TS]

01:22:15   do not I have never the silent majority [TS]

01:22:18   I am I am but I'm the lurker [TS]

01:22:20   I never post on there I don't even [TS]

01:22:22   animus your sub anonymous I'm sub [TS]

01:22:24   anonymous I don't want to go on there [TS]

01:22:25   and be like hey everybody here's my [TS]

01:22:27   thoughts on stuff like no thank you [TS]

01:22:29   you ever been tempted to put your dick [TS]

01:22:30   up though okay you're confident in what [TS]

01:22:34   you've got you think you don't need the [TS]

01:22:36   input the feed but I don't need anybody [TS]

01:22:37   reading mine absolutely by I mean I mean [TS]

01:22:39   here's offer offer up you know a [TS]

01:22:43   compliment like unprovoked that can be a [TS]

01:22:46   very nice thing it's very nice right [TS]

01:22:49   doesn't respect a compliment especially [TS]

01:22:50   nice to you to say thank you for saying [TS]

01:22:52   that [TS]

01:22:53   my experience of women generally in the [TS]

01:22:56   world is that they learned at a young [TS]

01:22:58   age to be very careful when talking to [TS]

01:23:00   men about other men or making [TS]

01:23:03   comparisons between them and other men [TS]

01:23:05   because men are fragile let's be honest [TS]

01:23:09   fragile like a crystal goblet we want to [TS]

01:23:13   believe this is not only the greatest [TS]

01:23:14   dick they've ever seen but probably the [TS]

01:23:16   only dick yeah and you know and and and [TS]

01:23:19   yeah exactly you you want to think like [TS]

01:23:21   oh this new girl that I'm dating has [TS]

01:23:23   been with other people surely I'm not [TS]

01:23:24   some guy that's like weird mm-hmm but [TS]

01:23:27   please not that many people and please [TS]

01:23:29   not don't have a lot of things to say [TS]

01:23:31   about me my technique in my body except [TS]

01:23:35   just like oh you are the best honey some [TS]

01:23:42   just start offering up oh you're the [TS]

01:23:43   best honey like every woman in the [TS]

01:23:45   country or in the world just either they [TS]

01:23:48   learn this at a young age from their [TS]

01:23:50   from their women folk or they just [TS]

01:23:52   intuitively know it but so infrequently [TS]

01:23:54   well you meet somebody who's like you [TS]

01:23:56   know compared to my last boyfriend you [TS]

01:23:57   are X yeah because I think it just men [TS]

01:24:01   are too delicate it's it's it's okay [TS]

01:24:05   obviously most men are going to feel [TS]

01:24:07   very fragile about [TS]

01:24:10   a comparison then they didn't win but [TS]

01:24:14   even the fact that there's a comparison [TS]

01:24:16   I think is kind of mind-blowing to a lot [TS]

01:24:17   of people well I [TS]

01:24:19   well there's even a house there even a [TS]

01:24:21   race here like I've obviously got to be [TS]

01:24:23   the best at this and I think as men are [TS]

01:24:25   very competitive with each other and if [TS]

01:24:28   you set up a competition between you of [TS]

01:24:30   guy the new boyfriend and an invisible [TS]

01:24:34   ex that they cannot know so that they [TS]

01:24:37   cannot directly compete with them is [TS]

01:24:39   just there they are in the fog then that [TS]

01:24:42   competition that you know the [TS]

01:24:44   competitive spirit has nowhere to go [TS]

01:24:46   except turn internally and be like I bet [TS]

01:24:49   that last boyfriend was better somehow [TS]

01:24:52   and it's just all the insecurities like [TS]

01:24:54   I did early on I had a girlfriend that [TS]

01:24:57   was like my last boyfriend one time rode [TS]

01:24:59   his motorcycle up the stairs of my house [TS]

01:25:02   to come in to my room in his leather [TS]

01:25:05   pants and ravaged me and I was like oh [TS]

01:25:08   great well I'm not gonna do any of those [TS]

01:25:10   things so I hope that you're content [TS]

01:25:12   with me coming by sometimes suggestion [TS]

01:25:16   she was the thing she might like again [TS]

01:25:19   she was saying it to me in the sense of [TS]

01:25:22   like what she wanted to establish was [TS]

01:25:23   that I was the lucky one I was lucky Oh [TS]

01:25:26   to be with her she was not lucky to be [TS]

01:25:29   with me elephant power move yeah and it [TS]

01:25:31   was clear to us both that she was not [TS]

01:25:33   lucky to be with me because I did not [TS]

01:25:35   ride a motorcycle up her stairs I never [TS]

01:25:37   wore leather pants I was not even a [TS]

01:25:40   heroin addict I called for it I was not [TS]

01:25:45   really a Ravager I was not nor was I a [TS]

01:25:47   rapper I would go through the cupboards [TS]

01:25:53   and see if there was anything to eat [TS]

01:25:55   [Laughter] [TS]

01:26:03   I would like mildly Ravager yeah right [TS]

01:26:07   boy you know like a wet ravaged yeah [TS]

01:26:12   then I lay around bro I'll go look for [TS]

01:26:15   some more food I'd layer her lay around [TS]

01:26:17   get a little bit more food maybe this [TS]

01:26:19   time I would bring her a little little [TS]

01:26:21   bit [TS]

01:26:21   jillee glass of water you're like a [TS]

01:26:23   friendly bear and then as the Sun went [TS]

01:26:25   down I'd be like well time I mean I'm [TS]

01:26:28   headed to the bar I'd invite you to join [TS]

01:26:31   me but you wouldn't have any fun and I [TS]

01:26:38   think over the course of our [TS]

01:26:39   relationship [TS]

01:26:40   what happened was my toe misses it this [TS]

01:26:43   happened multiple times my complete lack [TS]

01:26:46   of ability to even pretend to try flip [TS]

01:26:52   to the power dynamic so that eventually [TS]

01:26:54   it did seem like I was the prize you [TS]

01:26:56   imagine that poor bastard that came next [TS]

01:26:57   you know she'd been okay listen you know [TS]

01:27:00   last guy I was with he would he would go [TS]

01:27:02   through my cabinet so the guy it was [TS]

01:27:06   retroactive the guy with the leather [TS]

01:27:08   pants who rode his motorcycle up the [TS]

01:27:09   stairs like where is he now huh like [TS]

01:27:11   basically she's with me now buddy so [TS]

01:27:15   yeah like want to ride your motorcycle [TS]

01:27:18   down the stairs and back out onto the [TS]

01:27:20   street where a motorcycle belongs he's [TS]

01:27:24   not gonna be welcome in our restaurant [TS]

01:27:25   but I don't do that anymore now I'm very [TS]

01:27:27   very I'm very attentive I hardly ever go [TS]

01:27:32   through someone's cupboard for yourself [TS]

01:27:36   okay [TS]

01:27:39   [Music] [TS]