Roderick on the Line

Ep. 264: "Whisker Fatigue"


00:00:00   this episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

00:00:02   brought to you in part by our X bar our [TS]

00:00:04   X bar score ingredients do all the [TS]

00:00:06   talking it's simply like eating three [TS]

00:00:07   egg whites two dates and six almonds [TS]

00:00:09   with no BS learn more right now by [TS]

00:00:12   visiting our X bar comm /ro TL and by [TS]

00:00:16   Mack Weldon Mack Weldon is better than [TS]

00:00:19   whatever you're wearing right now to [TS]

00:00:21   find out why go and visit Mack Weldon [TS]

00:00:23   dot-com [TS]

00:00:24   [Music] [TS]

00:00:29   hello yeah hi John hi Merlin how's it [TS]

00:00:33   going happy jeez November [TS]

00:00:47   yeah it's fall now bald autumn also [TS]

00:00:54   pumpkins pumpkins everywhere as the song [TS]

00:00:58   goes gourds gourds gourds just just [TS]

00:01:03   sitting here just sitting here I mean [TS]

00:01:05   that's the end the end well you know I [TS]

00:01:08   don't like to talk about the show on the [TS]

00:01:10   show you know but with that said [TS]

00:01:12   everything that's in the show is in the [TS]

00:01:13   show sure are you on your new old [TS]

00:01:16   computer I am I'm in my new old room in [TS]

00:01:20   my new old computer on my new old [TS]

00:01:22   bedroom my new old studio room you're [TS]

00:01:25   kidding in my new old computer which I [TS]

00:01:28   just two minutes ago set up for this and [TS]

00:01:35   I've got a there's a little bit of an [TS]

00:01:38   awkwardness because I've got a table and [TS]

00:01:41   the table is not big enough for the [TS]

00:01:42   computer table no I mean it's a table [TS]

00:01:47   but it's what's why it's it's long but [TS]

00:01:50   it's not wide and it's it's not like [TS]

00:01:52   it's not big enough but if I put it on [TS]

00:01:53   the table then I can't see pass to the [TS]

00:01:55   computer it would just be me and the [TS]

00:01:57   computer and so I got a little table [TS]

00:02:00   like a like a little cocktail table then [TS]

00:02:05   I put on the side of the big table to [TS]

00:02:07   put the monitor so that I can kind of [TS]

00:02:09   look down sort of like sort of like the [TS]

00:02:12   master control program in Tron [TS]

00:02:15   okay so your your big cpu iMac unit is [TS]

00:02:19   on the secondary table it's on the side [TS]

00:02:22   right and then on the on the table is [TS]

00:02:26   only the wireless Logitech sunshine [TS]

00:02:30   powered keyboard that you turn me on to [TS]

00:02:34   but the problem is I don't like using a [TS]

00:02:36   wireless mouse [TS]

00:02:38   I just don't like it I didn't feel right [TS]

00:02:40   to you know I just feel like it's an [TS]

00:02:42   offense to nature mm-hmm we get Wireless [TS]

00:02:45   Keyboard is just as God intended but a [TS]

00:02:47   wireless mouse it's not really a mouse [TS]

00:02:48   anymore no it's like in the analogy I [TS]

00:02:51   mean part of what made it a mouse is it [TS]

00:02:53   had a little tail on it thank you [TS]

00:02:54   it's like a farmer's wife cut off their [TS]

00:02:56   tails with a carving knife which is [TS]

00:03:00   pretty brutal oh no I can't unsee that [TS]

00:03:02   so I like a wired mouse but the problem [TS]

00:03:05   with that is yeah I also don't want an [TS]

00:03:09   offshore mouse mm like a mouse that [TS]

00:03:12   looks like it was made for a PC oh oh I [TS]

00:03:17   see [TS]

00:03:18   this might be a little bit of Mouse [TS]

00:03:20   racism but I don't want a Logitech mouse [TS]

00:03:23   I don't want a mouse that's got lots of [TS]

00:03:27   buttons I don't like a mouse with a [TS]

00:03:29   spinner ball you would not like my [TS]

00:03:31   Logitech mouse because even though it is [TS]

00:03:33   a baller Mouse yeah it really it kind of [TS]

00:03:37   looks like Ed Begley Jr designed a race [TS]

00:03:39   car yeah I don't want to mount that [TS]

00:03:44   where it looks like I'm at a nail salon [TS]

00:03:46   getting you know lifelike manicure I [TS]

00:03:50   don't want a mouse that looks like a koi [TS]

00:03:52   pond like a gentleman's mouse a [TS]

00:03:56   gentleman's mouse and I have a nice [TS]

00:03:58   Apple Mouse that I like that came with [TS]

00:04:00   some ancient computer it's like it's [TS]

00:04:03   basically clear plastic it probably came [TS]

00:04:05   with a with one of those apples that was [TS]

00:04:08   like like colored and looked like a [TS]

00:04:10   gumdrop at we say african-american now [TS]

00:04:13   what was that I just sent you my mouse [TS]

00:04:16   you can see the Ed Begley Mouse all [TS]

00:04:18   right let me see this mouse here I'm [TS]

00:04:22   looking at it oh my goodness yeah that's [TS]

00:04:24   going on with that mouse it's got a lot [TS]

00:04:26   yeah it's got a lot of affordances on it [TS]

00:04:30   so I was looking online at mice and I [TS]

00:04:33   saw that a mouse touted somewhere the [TS]

00:04:38   inflator the MX master is it go to Mouse [TS]

00:04:40   it's like what abomination is that yeah [TS]

00:04:43   it's really ugly uh so anyway but here's [TS]

00:04:47   the thing my little Apple Mouse [TS]

00:04:50   which is which is clear like crystal and [TS]

00:04:54   only has far as I can tell it only does [TS]

00:04:56   one thing just it just moves well it [TS]

00:04:58   does two things it moves around and it [TS]

00:05:00   clicks it has one way of clicking it's [TS]

00:05:04   on a USB cord that is very short it's [TS]

00:05:07   it's not meant to be strung around it's [TS]

00:05:10   not probably not meant to go all the way [TS]

00:05:12   to a side table right and my side table [TS]

00:05:15   is on the left for not for ergonomic a [TS]

00:05:19   bull's your righty and I'm a righty so I [TS]

00:05:21   want my mouse to stretch all the way [TS]

00:05:23   over to the other side of the big table [TS]

00:05:25   and so I went on a quest for a extension [TS]

00:05:30   USB cable female-to-male on one end and [TS]

00:05:37   bail to be me on the other and as God [TS]

00:05:39   intended that's God intended and so [TS]

00:05:41   that's right I God didn't make Adam and [TS]

00:05:45   Adam in a met and Jeeves [TS]

00:05:49   so in my house as you probably know [TS]

00:05:53   there are 40 bins full of power cables [TS]

00:05:56   quarter inch cables XLR cables those old [TS]

00:06:01   13 USB cables you see a couple of those [TS]

00:06:05   oh yeah do I have have some blackberry [TS]

00:06:09   power cables I have a lot of cables from [TS]

00:06:10   LG phones [TS]

00:06:12   I have printer cables I have wall warts [TS]

00:06:16   for every distortion box ever [TS]

00:06:18   manufactured by any manufacturer I have [TS]

00:06:21   Radio Shack equipment dating back to the [TS]

00:06:24   50s I could like I could make crystal [TS]

00:06:31   radio set out of the cables I have and [TS]

00:06:35   so I'm like I will not go to the store [TS]

00:06:39   or log on to Amazon for this simple [TS]

00:06:41   cable I will find it in my archives my [TS]

00:06:45   cable calves and I spent the equivalent [TS]

00:06:49   of the man-hours that they used to build [TS]

00:06:52   the Panama Canal looking for what seemed [TS]

00:06:56   to me to be a simple cable that everyone [TS]

00:06:59   should have seems so [TS]

00:07:01   to it if there's got to be one of those [TS]

00:07:03   around and there is not it never is I've [TS]

00:07:07   got things from the 90s I've got five of [TS]

00:07:10   something from the 90s and I've got like [TS]

00:07:11   one of those in the entire edifice and I [TS]

00:07:13   can never find it I think it's red I [TS]

00:07:14   think it's it's a very important cable I [TS]

00:07:17   have a million USB on one side firewire [TS]

00:07:20   on the other side yeah I don't know when [TS]

00:07:23   they made you change on remember they [TS]

00:07:24   made you change from the dirty pink [TS]

00:07:26   USB adapter nobody had to get all new [TS]

00:07:27   cables oh yeah he had to get an extra [TS]

00:07:30   set cuz you go to different places you [TS]

00:07:31   remember that I remember your about [TS]

00:07:33   frustrating that was it was frustrating [TS]

00:07:35   yeah well so I went on Amazon and I was [TS]

00:07:39   like okay fine I'm defeated like it was [TS]

00:07:41   like every time we go to Amazon it's [TS]

00:07:43   like fine you got me again you got me [TS]

00:07:46   Bezos go ahead and you know go ahead [TS]

00:07:49   take my money build another magic [TS]

00:07:51   dirigible that you won't even show the [TS]

00:07:53   rest of us he's laughing all the time [TS]

00:07:56   he's flying around in dirigibles and [TS]

00:07:58   they have cloaking devices he's not even [TS]

00:08:00   sharing the fun with us [TS]

00:08:01   no we can't even came and see what he's [TS]

00:08:04   showing off if I were listen I've said [TS]

00:08:09   if I were yeah Elon Musk enough times [TS]

00:08:11   that there ought to be an acronym for it [TS]

00:08:13   mmm-hmm III II M or om um which it is [TS]

00:08:24   original I would have had a dirigible a [TS]

00:08:27   long time ago but not just a dirigible I [TS]

00:08:29   would have done a scale not a scale I [TS]

00:08:32   would have done a to scale reproduction [TS]

00:08:35   of the Hindenburg - the swastika decked [TS]

00:08:39   it out even nicer you know just like [TS]

00:08:42   decked it out really nicely would you [TS]

00:08:44   have liked tea service and stuff like [TS]

00:08:46   that oh for sure [TS]

00:08:47   white glove service and then here's the [TS]

00:08:50   thing I wouldn't use it to go places I [TS]

00:08:53   would just Park it off the coast and it [TS]

00:08:55   would be my apartment oh he'll be like a [TS]

00:08:59   tree house without a tree yeah it would [TS]

00:09:01   just sky so disgusting does Elan live in [TS]

00:09:04   San Francisco or LA or somewhere like [TS]

00:09:07   else I you know what I don't know the [TS]

00:09:11   answer to that it's gonna drive our [TS]

00:09:12   listeners nuts but I feel like he must [TS]

00:09:15   well I'm sure he has more than one out [TS]

00:09:16   well I'm not sure I one imagines he has [TS]

00:09:19   more than one home I'll bet he's got [TS]

00:09:21   something in Silicon Valley right um [TS]

00:09:25   he's got something where he lives in the [TS]

00:09:26   tube bunker somewhere I you know [TS]

00:09:31   actually I started thinking about this [TS]

00:09:33   not connected to Elon who obviously has [TS]

00:09:37   enough you know he's building a super [TS]

00:09:39   high-speed train to space so he's he's [TS]

00:09:41   busy I thought about this when I was [TS]

00:09:43   interacting with the orbit of that like [TS]

00:09:48   preppy bro that started snapchat that [TS]

00:09:51   rich young kid with a rich lawyer dad [TS]

00:09:55   who's like just sort of a beach bum [TS]

00:09:57   starts this thing now he's got a billion [TS]

00:09:59   dollars in and he's and something like a [TS]

00:10:03   hundred thousand pairs of glasses that [TS]

00:10:04   he can't but he did a smart thing with [TS]

00:10:12   his money I thought which was he bought [TS]

00:10:13   up the entire town of Venice California [TS]

00:10:15   now even if his company tanks at least [TS]

00:10:18   he has all his real estate I mean he's [TS]

00:10:21   become he became the biggest real estate [TS]

00:10:23   company that true Santa Monica he owns [TS]

00:10:26   so much land he bought Santa Monica [TS]

00:10:29   Airport it's the only true wealth right [TS]

00:10:32   so he just was you know like like rather [TS]

00:10:37   than then just keep that money in sports [TS]

00:10:40   football teams like Paul Allen oh Paul [TS]

00:10:43   Allen also bought a bunch of real estate [TS]

00:10:45   I mean real estate but so he's you know [TS]

00:10:48   he's doing that thing of like young tech [TS]

00:10:50   billionaire he's doing a little bit [TS]

00:10:53   smarter cuz he's buying real estate but [TS]

00:10:54   I'm sure he's rolling around Venice on a [TS]

00:10:56   unicycle with six armed guards also on [TS]

00:10:59   unicycles I was like why wouldn't that [TS]

00:11:02   kid buy have a Hindenburg bill for [TS]

00:11:05   himself park it right above and slightly [TS]

00:11:09   off the coast of Venice and just sit [TS]

00:11:11   there all day with those engines just [TS]

00:11:12   more [TS]

00:11:15   relaxing how relaxing it would be and [TS]

00:11:17   like if you need to go somewhere maybe [TS]

00:11:19   you want to get a bite it's something [TS]

00:11:20   you don't have on the dirigible you want [TS]

00:11:22   to go to like in and out or something [TS]

00:11:23   you just slowly lower it down that's [TS]

00:11:27   something to do in downtown LA and you [TS]

00:11:29   would just like slow because I've always [TS]

00:11:38   loved [TS]

00:11:39   I've always loved forts I've over my [TS]

00:11:42   life I have created so many secret [TS]

00:11:44   hideouts for myself there's a time in [TS]

00:11:46   junior high when I almost lived in the [TS]

00:11:48   crawlspace where I'd like I had a whole [TS]

00:11:50   like environment up there that I created [TS]

00:11:52   you know to get your best what was your [TS]

00:11:54   best secret for man that was a thing [TS]

00:11:57   well no it's okay it can be revealed now [TS]

00:11:59   it's been unsealed but like circa eighth [TS]

00:12:01   grade when I was really at peak weirdo [TS]

00:12:04   at some point we gotten you get you get [TS]

00:12:06   a they you'll really call it an attic [TS]

00:12:08   you call it a crawlspace and it is [TS]

00:12:09   usually accessible via in Florida you [TS]

00:12:11   don't have basements it's accessible in [TS]

00:12:13   the garage there's usually like a little [TS]

00:12:15   door you move you get a ladder you move [TS]

00:12:18   this door aside and you can go up there [TS]

00:12:19   and put your Christmas shit up there um [TS]

00:12:21   and I'm not sure why this happened maybe [TS]

00:12:24   we had a credit card with Sears we [TS]

00:12:26   started getting lots of Sears things we [TS]

00:12:27   had Sears come out and install those [TS]

00:12:30   it's like a door you pull down a handle [TS]

00:12:34   and then folding steps come down you [TS]

00:12:36   know and you walk up you ascend up into [TS]

00:12:38   there and I had made that has got to be [TS]

00:12:42   up there for me excluding certain like [TS]

00:12:44   you know point of forts in the woods and [TS]

00:12:46   stuff like that that if to have that in [TS]

00:12:48   house like nearby to have someplace you [TS]

00:12:50   could go that was in your house but away [TS]

00:12:52   from your house it was like finding a [TS]

00:12:53   secret room [TS]

00:12:54   if felt totally underutilized to me like [TS]

00:12:56   why would you just put Christmas [TS]

00:12:57   ornaments up here like you could you [TS]

00:12:59   could bring choose your own adventure [TS]

00:13:00   books and a 16-ounce bottle of coke up [TS]

00:13:02   there it had a floor and and the wreath [TS]

00:13:05   it kind of had a floor mostly had that [TS]

00:13:07   pink itchy insulation the dry beans [TS]

00:13:11   that's sort of one reason you would you [TS]

00:13:13   but you know bears the other thing was [TS]

00:13:14   when you're in eighth grade and you got [TS]

00:13:16   coke and potato chips in a choose your [TS]

00:13:17   own adventure book you also have [TS]

00:13:18   relatively unlimited time especially if [TS]

00:13:20   you don't do homework so you can really [TS]

00:13:22   you can really plunge a resource I'm [TS]

00:13:24   just thinking like you know if you two [TS]

00:13:26   applied that [TS]

00:13:27   if you took that mindset with the budget [TS]

00:13:29   of a Zeppelin well sure but I'm curious [TS]

00:13:33   about this space did you put in a floor [TS]

00:13:36   or what what what did you stand I don't [TS]

00:13:38   remember what I did because you really [TS]

00:13:40   weren't supposed to be up there it [TS]

00:13:42   troubled my family that I went up there [TS]

00:13:43   I wasn't doing anything like dad I just [TS]

00:13:46   didn't want to be around people I think [TS]

00:13:47   I think I would bring up a portable [TS]

00:13:49   radio and then I would have had a little [TS]

00:13:51   bookshelf I put up there with my books [TS]

00:13:53   and I just mostly go up there just be [TS]

00:13:56   myself and listen to key 1:05 and that I [TS]

00:14:00   see I want to say that I put down boards [TS]

00:14:03   but I can't imagine I had the upper-body [TS]

00:14:05   strength to move boards up steps I [TS]

00:14:07   probably put down like a cardboard box [TS]

00:14:08   or fashion in their sets chair between [TS]

00:14:13   the beams of the house there was a there [TS]

00:14:16   was an apartment building here in [TS]

00:14:17   Seattle where a bunch of I used to work [TS]

00:14:20   in a punk rock pizza parlor and a bunch [TS]

00:14:24   of the pizza parlor people all moved in [TS]

00:14:28   together into one sort of rickety old [TS]

00:14:31   janky apartment building was it called a [TS]

00:14:35   squat yeah well they were paying rent [TS]

00:14:37   okay okay and it was one of those things [TS]

00:14:40   where the nice bedroom [TS]

00:14:42   belonged to the responsible girl who was [TS]

00:14:44   kind of the assistant manager and then [TS]

00:14:46   the next bedroom belonged to you know [TS]

00:14:49   the girl that worked hard and then the [TS]

00:14:52   next bedroom was so late lazy girl and [TS]

00:14:56   her like like her incompetent friends no [TS]

00:15:00   and then like there was a actual stair [TS]

00:15:07   like a finished stair up to an attic [TS]

00:15:09   which was unfinished and had just no [TS]

00:15:12   floor it just had had like you're saying [TS]

00:15:16   insulation but it was a proper stair up [TS]

00:15:18   there and so a couple of the dudes at [TS]

00:15:23   the pizza parlor went in there and [TS]

00:15:25   showed all this ingenuity and and put [TS]

00:15:30   all this effort and money into buying [TS]

00:15:32   wood nailing it down and building a [TS]

00:15:36   floor in this [TS]

00:15:37   a building where I think the rent for [TS]

00:15:39   the whole thing was probably $400 Wow [TS]

00:15:42   and then all of a sudden they had they [TS]

00:15:45   built this like because it was an old [TS]

00:15:48   building so you could stand up up there [TS]

00:15:51   it was it was a big big attic space it [TS]

00:15:54   was a proper not just bedroom it was a [TS]

00:15:56   it was the whole top of the building Wow [TS]

00:15:59   what it was a flat and they had this [TS]

00:16:01   incredible loft up there which they just [TS]

00:16:06   constructed out of the air as far as I [TS]

00:16:09   could tell and I think the arrangement [TS]

00:16:12   was that they pay you know I don't know [TS]

00:16:14   how much rent they paid because they [TS]

00:16:16   invented the room but you know it was [TS]

00:16:20   such a step up from my thing which was [TS]

00:16:22   like hey is anybody sleeping on this [TS]

00:16:24   couch tonight oh yeah [TS]

00:16:26   that I just I was I was in awe of it and [TS]

00:16:29   then I'm probably you know I'm glad to [TS]

00:16:31   have you a little bit out of the way [TS]

00:16:33   well they were glad to have them they [TS]

00:16:36   none of them wanted me there after a [TS]

00:16:38   very short period of time and and it was [TS]

00:16:40   and that was that was that how a house [TS]

00:16:42   or a set of a set of people that I would [TS]

00:16:49   that was a time when I was behaving just [TS]

00:16:51   shamefully and so even when I think back [TS]

00:16:55   at it what should be wonderful memories [TS]

00:16:58   of my like mid to late drug period [TS]

00:17:05   they're awful memories and when that [TS]

00:17:08   building eventually was torn down by a [TS]

00:17:10   giant collection of backhoes and [TS]

00:17:13   bulldozers and replaced with a just [TS]

00:17:16   skeezy new condo eight story tall new [TS]

00:17:21   condo I rejoiced a little because it had [TS]

00:17:25   because some of my bad memories were [TS]

00:17:27   buried buried in a hole [TS]

00:17:29   yeah but I'm with you about the fort's [TS]

00:17:36   promise we didn't have none of our [TS]

00:17:38   places had good forts [TS]

00:17:43   anywhere no good forts you know I feel [TS]

00:17:46   like part of it is I mean obviously [TS]

00:17:48   there's this one thing where like when [TS]

00:17:49   you're a kid and I [TS]

00:17:50   count you know being 14 is you know [TS]

00:17:52   still being a kid but you know when [TS]

00:17:53   you're a kid especially when you're a [TS]

00:17:55   little kid you're small you can fit [TS]

00:17:57   under the sink you could go into the [TS]

00:17:59   credenza there's this there's a certain [TS]

00:18:01   appeal to like I wonder if I could fit [TS]

00:18:03   into that you know what I mean and like [TS]

00:18:05   then you see these photographs of like [TS]

00:18:07   apartments in Hong Kong I don't feel you [TS]

00:18:09   ever seen any of those photos of the [TS]

00:18:10   inside of apartments in Hong Kong but [TS]

00:18:11   they're just they're crazy I mean [TS]

00:18:13   they're like a little bigger than like [TS]

00:18:14   an airport bathroom and a family lives [TS]

00:18:16   in them and it's just completely crazy [TS]

00:18:18   what people fit into these I think [TS]

00:18:19   there's something very appealing to a [TS]

00:18:22   certain kind of introvert weirdo [TS]

00:18:23   personality about having a hidey-hole [TS]

00:18:25   yes [TS]

00:18:27   well all I ever wanted was a secret room [TS]

00:18:30   and I freaking I was talking to but it [TS]

00:18:38   was a friend who was having a house [TS]

00:18:39   built oh oh I know who was it was my [TS]

00:18:42   good friend Matt Dresner former bass [TS]

00:18:45   player of the gits [TS]

00:18:47   he had he has just rebuilt his house it [TS]

00:18:51   was you know it was a did a sort of gut [TS]

00:18:54   renovation of it and of course the first [TS]

00:18:57   question I asked was well did you have a [TS]

00:19:00   secret room installed mm-hm [TS]

00:19:02   and on the face of it his denial that he [TS]

00:19:08   had a secret room built is the smart [TS]

00:19:11   move right if I did I couldn't tell you [TS]

00:19:14   it's right you're not gonna say like [TS]

00:19:16   yeah I want to know where the secret [TS]

00:19:18   room is it's behind the painting where [TS]

00:19:19   the wall safe is like you're not gonna [TS]

00:19:21   reveal it to just any you know defeat on [TS]

00:19:23   purpose yeah but I could tell in his [TS]

00:19:25   reply that he he didn't have a secret [TS]

00:19:29   room built because what he said was I [TS]

00:19:30   talked to the contractor about a secret [TS]

00:19:33   room and it ended up that the bid to [TS]

00:19:36   build a secret room would have been was [TS]

00:19:38   prohibitively expensive I'll bet that's [TS]

00:19:39   how they get you [TS]

00:19:40   I'll bet they know we got a loved one [TS]

00:19:43   right yeah this I see this guy coming a [TS]

00:19:46   mile off he's gonna want a hidey hole [TS]

00:19:49   alright look at or a hidden staircase or [TS]

00:19:52   all those all those yeah I'm like I'm [TS]

00:19:54   okay so the I feel like there's a [TS]

00:19:56   hierarchy of these things we've talked [TS]

00:19:57   about the monk hole I think having a way [TS]

00:19:59   to get out of your house and move a [TS]

00:20:01   distance away even if it's not [TS]

00:20:03   inhabitable [TS]

00:20:04   per say it's just a smart idea yeah [TS]

00:20:06   right every house every house has to [TS]

00:20:08   have two means of egress like in case on [TS]

00:20:10   fire right you got to have way to get [TS]

00:20:12   out that just makes sense tunnel to the [TS]

00:20:13   back nine to the back nine but you also [TS]

00:20:15   I mean don't you need an existencial [TS]

00:20:17   means if aggress what if you just need [TS]

00:20:18   to get away from you what if you just [TS]

00:20:20   need to be somewhere so I think you got [TS]

00:20:22   it you get among coal and that could be [TS]

00:20:23   a very modest Montcoal but it doesn't [TS]

00:20:25   have to be like a full-on like hallway [TS]

00:20:28   like a James Bond hallway although that [TS]

00:20:29   would be really nice that would be nice [TS]

00:20:31   then you get I think you can think about [TS]

00:20:33   again this is not as spectacular but [TS]

00:20:36   certainly like hidden panels like what's [TS]

00:20:38   the first thing you do in D&D you go in [TS]

00:20:39   a room and you search for like doors and [TS]

00:20:42   panels right yeah someplace where you [TS]

00:20:43   could put stuff I think a secret hallway [TS]

00:20:47   feels like a really smart grown-up thing [TS]

00:20:51   to put in your house a waiting made [TS]

00:20:52   there that's just for you is a very very [TS]

00:20:56   good idea my aunt my aunt's beach house [TS]

00:21:01   the entire inside of the house and I'm [TS]

00:21:05   talking about walls and ceiling was [TS]

00:21:09   painted beadboard and it's a style of [TS]

00:21:13   Oregon beach house that I think is it is [TS]

00:21:18   an imitation of a style of Cape Cod [TS]

00:21:21   beach house except because it was Oregon [TS]

00:21:24   you like Oregon in the in 1890 really [TS]

00:21:29   wanted to be Cape Cod in 1790 and so [TS]

00:21:33   they they built like whole communities [TS]

00:21:35   including the little town of gearheart [TS]

00:21:36   Oregon in imitation of this you know [TS]

00:21:39   like weathered [TS]

00:21:41   cedar shingles and and this though but [TS]

00:21:48   the thing about Cape Cod and I don't [TS]

00:21:49   think a lot of people know this is that [TS]

00:21:51   their beach houses of the East Coast the [TS]

00:21:54   vacation homes of the East Coast often [TS]

00:21:56   not even beach ones but like up in Maine [TS]

00:21:58   and out on the coast a lot of them are [TS]

00:22:01   uninsulated like it's just the out walls [TS]

00:22:05   and then the the beams you know though [TS]

00:22:08   yeah I've made a lot of vacation homes [TS]

00:22:10   in pretty nice areas that are [TS]

00:22:11   essentially like a hovel uh-huh yeah [TS]

00:22:13   just a fucking missiles almost like a [TS]

00:22:15   lean-to [TS]

00:22:17   when you look at these on Cape Cod from [TS]

00:22:18   outside they're three storeys tall they [TS]

00:22:20   look like beautiful elegant homes it's [TS]

00:22:22   just that the inside isn't done and what [TS]

00:22:26   and because what they do is that the end [TS]

00:22:28   of the season the last day of summer [TS]

00:22:30   they lock the door and they don't come [TS]

00:22:33   back until May or June and it seems [TS]

00:22:37   crazy to me and from the Northwest [TS]

00:22:39   perspective it's never consistently the [TS]

00:22:43   weather is never consistent enough here [TS]

00:22:44   that you would build a house like that [TS]

00:22:46   I mean we don't have air conditioning [TS]

00:22:47   anywhere but we certainly do put [TS]

00:22:50   insulation in things so the oregon beach [TS]

00:22:53   house has insulated walls but beadboard [TS]

00:22:56   floor-to-ceiling and also the ceiling [TS]

00:22:59   and in this house it was painted kind of [TS]

00:23:04   dark green the beadboard was dark green [TS]

00:23:08   upstairs the beadboard was all painted a [TS]

00:23:11   bright and cheery cream yellow mm-hmm [TS]

00:23:13   but what it meant was because the [TS]

00:23:16   beadboard is just panels they had a few [TS]

00:23:22   different places where if you kind of [TS]

00:23:25   pressed on the wall it would go pump and [TS]

00:23:29   you just wall would just open oh my god [TS]

00:23:33   and that's where their liquor cabinet [TS]

00:23:36   was oh my god behind a wall next to the [TS]

00:23:40   fireplace if you just like leaned on it [TS]

00:23:42   it would go and then the wall opened and [TS]

00:23:46   it was full of booze yeah like her hole [TS]

00:23:49   but the the problem was over the course [TS]

00:23:52   of 50 years of living there they that [TS]

00:23:56   was a popular place and so there's a [TS]

00:23:59   spot where you get wear and tear you [TS]

00:24:02   give 10,000 hands and so there's [TS]

00:24:08   basically like a like a brat like sort [TS]

00:24:11   of a gray hand shaped stain in the paint [TS]

00:24:15   yeah that's bad OPSEC yeah exactly so I [TS]

00:24:20   mean I think you also if you're gonna do [TS]

00:24:22   it that way you also have to carry a [TS]

00:24:23   hanky with you okay well it should be [TS]

00:24:25   like a hankie on a string well I mean I [TS]

00:24:27   think you're probably establishing one [TS]

00:24:29   of the [TS]

00:24:30   guidelines for this kind of thing which [TS]

00:24:32   is that you know have it be commensurate [TS]

00:24:35   with how secret you needed to be how [TS]

00:24:37   much it's used uh-huh right so if you're [TS]

00:24:40   the kind of person like we were recently [TS]

00:24:42   looking at cap boxes in new litter box [TS]

00:24:45   and that you can get some very obviously [TS]

00:24:48   you can get self-defend a lot of money [TS]

00:24:50   some people want a litter box that also [TS]

00:24:52   doubles as like an end table or a [TS]

00:24:54   nightstand [TS]

00:24:56   well I'm not here to judge but that for [TS]

00:25:00   me kind of feels like the worst of all [TS]

00:25:02   worlds right but I mean you know if it's [TS]

00:25:05   something where like you wouldn't want [TS]

00:25:06   your refrigerator to be invisible like [TS]

00:25:08   you know that's not hiding anything from [TS]

00:25:09   anybody although you do see those [TS]

00:25:11   kitchens where you walk in and you're [TS]

00:25:13   like where's the refrigerator we have [TS]

00:25:14   which of these things are doors for [TS]

00:25:16   something yeah and it just they made it [TS]

00:25:18   look like a cupboard that's that's a [TS]

00:25:20   little cute for my liking well yeah [TS]

00:25:22   because what you are you ashamed to have [TS]

00:25:24   a refrigerator why would you mask it [TS]

00:25:26   yeah we all have them [TS]

00:25:28   yeah it's just it's just nature but like [TS]

00:25:34   what I mean so in the hierarchy though [TS]

00:25:36   then so you got you you move up you get [TS]

00:25:38   my uncles I know I realize my uncle is a [TS]

00:25:40   very ambitious project you probably want [TS]

00:25:42   to undertake from the very design of the [TS]

00:25:45   house but like you know a secret panel [TS]

00:25:48   you get into like a hidden corridor and [TS]

00:25:50   I would call it a corridor but like a [TS]

00:25:52   secret room it doesn't even need to [TS]

00:25:54   really doesn't need to be like a V for [TS]

00:25:56   Vendetta room it doesn't need to be like [TS]

00:25:58   an entire like like secret den in fact I [TS]

00:26:02   think it'd be less detectable from [TS]

00:26:03   people who are like going and looking at [TS]

00:26:06   your plans right you don't want it to be [TS]

00:26:08   too detectable there's probably some [TS]

00:26:10   kind of illusion you can use with with [TS]

00:26:11   false walls and depths and assumptions [TS]

00:26:13   and visual illusions and tricks but I'm [TS]

00:26:16   talking about like a room that's big [TS]

00:26:17   enough to have like like like just I [TS]

00:26:19   don't know even just like a chair in it [TS]

00:26:21   but a place to lay down would be nice [TS]

00:26:22   too the first thing I do when I'm in a [TS]

00:26:26   space for any length of time as I walk [TS]

00:26:28   around trying to make sure that the [TS]

00:26:33   physical space as I perceive it for the [TS]

00:26:35   outside comports with the [TS]

00:26:38   the way that the space is conditioning [TS]

00:26:40   it's a hundred percent I do the side I [TS]

00:26:43   don't talk about it but I do the same [TS]

00:26:44   thing I learned this in the Amityville [TS]

00:26:45   Horror the horror you realize there [TS]

00:26:48   could be a secret red room in your [TS]

00:26:49   basement that you don't know about until [TS]

00:26:50   it's 3:15 a.m. right right you I don't [TS]

00:26:53   want to know no no no no no alarms and [TS]

00:26:56   no surprises I want to know what I'm [TS]

00:26:58   dealing with here and so you could do [TS]

00:26:59   that you know and again to talk to [TS]

00:27:01   another movie you look at the the [TS]

00:27:03   watching movie well Rorschach takes out [TS]

00:27:04   his tape measure he has an air SATs tape [TS]

00:27:06   measure to figure out where the comedian [TS]

00:27:07   is hiding his costume in photos there's [TS]

00:27:09   something like that I would take a [TS]

00:27:11   hidden panel in my closet I would put my [TS]

00:27:13   trophies in my and my pictures of Silk [TS]

00:27:14   Spectre one in there I would totally do [TS]

00:27:16   that I well and also who doesn't want a [TS]

00:27:20   thing where you open a wall and it's [TS]

00:27:22   full of machine guns machine guns [TS]

00:27:23   newspaper clippings [TS]

00:27:25   maybe things you've received from the [TS]

00:27:27   mayor I think I've told you before about [TS]

00:27:29   the house in Sun Valley I went to with [TS]

00:27:32   my friend Trevor where his uncle after [TS]

00:27:35   we were smoking cigars after our steak [TS]

00:27:37   dinner he said you want to see my gun [TS]

00:27:38   room and we went upstairs this is back [TS]

00:27:42   before gun room was a thing where you [TS]

00:27:44   would go like oh no are you a murderer [TS]

00:27:47   this was back when I was like gun room [TS]

00:27:50   yeah you are it didn't used to be the [TS]

00:27:52   last thing you'd hear no it was like [TS]

00:27:54   you're a top shelf gentleman and we went [TS]

00:27:57   upstairs and into his bed he had a big [TS]

00:27:59   big house in in Sun Valley and we walked [TS]

00:28:02   through some door in his closet and then [TS]

00:28:05   through a secret door [TS]

00:28:07   an entire room a full-on bedroom sized [TS]

00:28:11   room full of machine guns oh man and he [TS]

00:28:15   wasn't a survivalist or anything like [TS]

00:28:16   that he was just a rich dude an [TS]

00:28:20   eccentric a rich eccentric the trevor [TS]

00:28:23   was like oh that's my that's my uncle [TS]

00:28:25   with the [TS]

00:28:26   you know like it rolled his eyes but [TS]

00:28:28   when we can't when we went to Sun Valley [TS]

00:28:30   this uncle was like yeah [TS]

00:28:32   Trevor's here with his friends and he [TS]

00:28:35   just like we couldn't pay for anything [TS]

00:28:36   he treated us like big shots staking [TS]

00:28:39   cigars and he also had a room full of [TS]

00:28:42   guns and probably a room full of gold [TS]

00:28:44   bars that he didn't show that's what he [TS]

00:28:45   showed exactly this episode of Roderick [TS]

00:28:49   on the line is brought to you in part by [TS]

00:28:51   Mack [TS]

00:28:52   Elton you can learn more about Mack [TS]

00:28:53   Weldon right now by visiting Mack Weldon [TS]

00:28:56   calm guys I'm a huge fan of Mack [TS]

00:28:58   Weldon's clothes I buy an unconscionable [TS]

00:29:01   amount of their stuff using my very own [TS]

00:29:03   American money it's true I'm wearing [TS]

00:29:05   Mack Weldon as we speak don't be creepy [TS]

00:29:07   Mack Weldon makes stuff like shirts [TS]

00:29:09   pants hoodies socks and yes they're [TS]

00:29:12   internationally famous underwear these [TS]

00:29:15   pieces are all just insanely comfortable [TS]

00:29:16   they're sturdy and well-made they fit [TS]

00:29:19   great they look very handsome and they [TS]

00:29:20   feel amazing to wear real talk today I [TS]

00:29:24   want to talk to you once again about [TS]

00:29:25   Mack Walden's shirts because that's my [TS]

00:29:26   favorite that's that's I have so many of [TS]

00:29:29   these it's really really weird they make [TS]

00:29:30   something called the Pima long sleeve [TS]

00:29:33   t-shirt [TS]

00:29:34   I'm not comfortable admitting how many [TS]

00:29:36   of these I own but let's just say I have [TS]

00:29:37   sacks and stacks of them mini mini [TS]

00:29:39   they are literally my daily go-to top [TS]

00:29:42   layer and unless the occasion demands it [TS]

00:29:43   you'll more often than not find me in [TS]

00:29:45   one of these boys everyday they are the [TS]

00:29:47   best right now can you hear it [TS]

00:29:49   that's it close I know this sounds like [TS]

00:29:52   a weird one but I love their plain white [TS]

00:29:53   t-shirts it's so hard to find a white [TS]

00:29:55   t-shirt that you like they gets so gross [TS]

00:29:57   they're so skinny and they get all [TS]

00:29:59   balled up and untucked mm-hmm not at [TS]

00:30:02   Mack Walden these are Hardy well [TS]

00:30:03   tailored shirts with a nice long tail [TS]

00:30:05   keeps it tucked in like you're a big boy [TS]

00:30:07   I switch to these last years throughout [TS]

00:30:09   all my other shirts with the disgusting [TS]

00:30:11   yellow pit stains since then I've never [TS]

00:30:12   looked back Mac Weldon and then of [TS]

00:30:15   course yes there are their magical [TS]

00:30:16   Underpants mat golden has a line of [TS]

00:30:17   silver underwear and shirts that are [TS]

00:30:19   naturally antimicrobial and that means [TS]

00:30:21   they eliminate odor they want you to be [TS]

00:30:24   comfortable so if you don't like your [TS]

00:30:25   first pair you can keep it no refund [TS]

00:30:27   your money no questions asked this is [TS]

00:30:29   insane [TS]

00:30:30   Mac Weldon you guys listen please go you [TS]

00:30:33   head over to Mac Weldon calm go have a [TS]

00:30:35   look around look at these shirts look at [TS]

00:30:37   these Underpants when you found [TS]

00:30:38   something you like and you're ready to [TS]

00:30:39   checkout use our very special promo code [TS]

00:30:41   ro TL just like it sounds are OTL and [TS]

00:30:44   you're gonna get 20% off your order [TS]

00:30:46   our thanks to Mac Weldon for supporting [TS]

00:30:47   Roderick on the line and all the great [TS]

00:30:50   shows right that's left the room that he [TS]

00:30:53   showed you you know okay now let me ask [TS]

00:30:55   you this is it mmm how does one put this [TS]

00:30:57   where is the line in deciding what you [TS]

00:31:02   offer up to people these RVs showing [TS]

00:31:04   your secret [TS]

00:31:05   things because it seems to me somebody [TS]

00:31:06   who's offering to show you their secret [TS]

00:31:08   things may not be so good at keeping a [TS]

00:31:09   secret or do you think it's not like a [TS]

00:31:11   false flag operation he's showing you [TS]

00:31:13   the little gun room [TS]

00:31:14   he's never gonna show you what the big [TS]

00:31:15   gun room is my sense of that because [TS]

00:31:19   this was in the 1980s my sense of that [TS]

00:31:23   is that at the time conspiracy was not a [TS]

00:31:29   mainstream thing like it wasn't I [TS]

00:31:32   remember I'm sorry to interrupt you but [TS]

00:31:34   I remember very specifically I was [TS]

00:31:35   working at my parents restaurant and [TS]

00:31:37   there's a guy who pulled me aside he was [TS]

00:31:39   a regular customer every Saturday night [TS]

00:31:40   and he asked me what I knew about the [TS]

00:31:42   Trilateral Commission uh-huh and I said [TS]

00:31:45   I said can I get you more water and he [TS]

00:31:47   said do you understand what the [TS]

00:31:48   Trilateral Commission is and I said I do [TS]

00:31:49   not know what the trial omission is and [TS]

00:31:51   and this is gonna surprise you but at [TS]

00:31:53   length he told me what the Trilateral [TS]

00:31:55   Commission is and now my first my first [TS]

00:31:58   hands-on exposure to conspiracy culture [TS]

00:32:01   was probably 1979 or 80 I I don't think [TS]

00:32:04   I don't think it became such a thing [TS]

00:32:05   until maybe even Waco like I don't think [TS]

00:32:08   that normal people would look at [TS]

00:32:11   something like that and go you are a [TS]

00:32:12   loon yeah well because because the great [TS]

00:32:16   conspiracies all were anti-semitic right [TS]

00:32:20   I mean you were you had to you already [TS]

00:32:23   had established yourself if you were [TS]

00:32:24   talk about the trilateral commission [TS]

00:32:26   there was an 80% chance that you were [TS]

00:32:28   gonna start talking about the [TS]

00:32:29   Rothschilds Zionism yeah and in a winky [TS]

00:32:33   winky kind of way okay okay um you know [TS]

00:32:36   the protocols of the Elders of Zion [TS]

00:32:38   just like JFK well so that was right I [TS]

00:32:42   think JFK was great probably the first I [TS]

00:32:44   mean after after it let's be honest [TS]

00:32:45   after the Judaism issue JFK has got to [TS]

00:32:48   be one of the first truly great white [TS]

00:32:50   people conspiracies right where the word [TS]

00:32:52   that I mean the CIA the Cubans Lyndon [TS]

00:32:58   Johnson the like the people that managed [TS]

00:33:02   Wiggly pigley like everybody was [TS]

00:33:04   involved it's all connected I have seen [TS]

00:33:05   look at this red yarn but in the in the [TS]

00:33:07   80s and into I think the first [TS]

00:33:10   conspiracy a book I read that wasn't [TS]

00:33:14   that wasn't like a mainstream conspiracy [TS]

00:33:16   like who shot JFK [TS]

00:33:18   was a book called behold the pale horse [TS]

00:33:20   oh yeah you've talked about this remind [TS]

00:33:23   me about this yeah behold the pale horse [TS]

00:33:24   was written by one of these guys [TS]

00:33:26   probably the same guy that that wouldn't [TS]

00:33:28   let you finish your busboy rounds cuz he [TS]

00:33:32   wanted to talk about the crisis it's all [TS]

00:33:33   connected John everything's kind of put [TS]

00:33:35   it but this was the first book I think [TS]

00:33:37   that made that argument that it's all [TS]

00:33:40   connected and it goes down throughout [TS]

00:33:43   the book and it and it talks about all [TS]

00:33:45   the conspiracies the Flat Earth them [TS]

00:33:48   under the under the ice UFO secret [TS]

00:33:53   government has have been around for a [TS]

00:33:55   while the lizard people yeah it has and [TS]

00:33:58   and this guy took it all and put it [TS]

00:34:02   together you know as he know with a [TS]

00:34:04   conspiracy it there only has to be loose [TS]

00:34:06   association association it wouldn't be a [TS]

00:34:09   conspiracy do you know do you know what [TS]

00:34:12   kind of like self-knowledge and sanity [TS]

00:34:15   it takes to take in that much disparate [TS]

00:34:17   information and stay a sane person it [TS]

00:34:19   takes a very strong character trying it [TS]

00:34:21   does it does and and it's funny because [TS]

00:34:24   yesterday I posted without comment a [TS]

00:34:28   couple of grapple graphs and [TS]

00:34:31   infographics and put on some [TS]

00:34:33   infographics that I found as I was [TS]

00:34:35   watching the internet go as I was [TS]

00:34:38   watching it roll on roll on steam [TS]

00:34:40   rolling on I found these infographics on [TS]

00:34:43   voxcom [TS]

00:34:44   and one of them they were two very [TS]

00:34:45   interesting ones it was just like gun [TS]

00:34:47   ownership on one axis to violent deaths [TS]

00:34:52   on another axis by state and by and by [TS]

00:34:56   country by nation and you know [TS]

00:34:59   predictable results like the states that [TS]

00:35:02   had more gun ownership had more gun [TS]

00:35:07   deaths I know that's a radical I mean [TS]

00:35:10   you're not even drawing a conclusion [TS]

00:35:11   from it it's just a data all right and [TS]

00:35:15   the countries that had more guns had [TS]

00:35:18   more gun deaths in them there's not a [TS]

00:35:20   graphic indicating how many good guys [TS]

00:35:21   with guns bring up that save rate yeah [TS]

00:35:24   and it doesn't end it and and to be [TS]

00:35:27   honest it does not make a distinction [TS]

00:35:30   between [TS]

00:35:31   and suicide deaths and violent crime [TS]

00:35:35   deaths I think it's cause mm-hmm and and [TS]

00:35:38   and there was and it was hilarious [TS]

00:35:40   because you know at first of course my [TS]

00:35:42   Twitter followers the initial wave of [TS]

00:35:44   them are like wow you know this should [TS]

00:35:48   this is a wake-up call or you know it [TS]

00:35:50   was like the the sort of Twitter [TS]

00:35:52   responses that are validating the [TS]

00:35:56   amplifying preaching to the choir once [TS]

00:35:59   and then it got into that realm of [TS]

00:36:02   internet professor oh boy here he comes [TS]

00:36:06   and the first and and and people who are [TS]

00:36:09   like I'm not a statistician but I play [TS]

00:36:12   one on TV yeah and I got the first reply [TS]

00:36:16   where the reply er used the word [TS]

00:36:22   causation and I was like in before [TS]

00:36:27   correlation does not equal causation [TS]

00:36:29   like I wanted to get in before that in [TS]

00:36:32   the in the in the 4chan parlance because [TS]

00:36:36   law and the the first ones were these [TS]

00:36:40   people that were like interesting [TS]

00:36:44   correlation mm-hm [TS]

00:36:46   and I was like is that feels like a dog [TS]

00:36:49   whistle mm-hmm but then out it goes into [TS]

00:36:52   the world [TS]

00:36:53   and pretty soon it's one of those things [TS]

00:36:55   that has found its way to people that [TS]

00:36:57   are that are sitting on their branches [TS]

00:36:59   out in the doubt in the dirt and there's [TS]

00:37:03   no I made no comments on these graphs [TS]

00:37:10   and within the graph fix themselves [TS]

00:37:13   there's no commentary it's just simply a [TS]

00:37:16   line turns out when there's more rain [TS]

00:37:20   things get wet that's right it's just [TS]

00:37:22   the thing and people started arguing [TS]

00:37:25   they started arguing with the with the [TS]

00:37:27   graphic because they started arguing [TS]

00:37:29   with the implication that they drew from [TS]

00:37:32   the graphic and gradually little by [TS]

00:37:34   little came this wave of correlation [TS]

00:37:36   does not equal causation [TS]

00:37:39   and what that is is the that's another [TS]

00:37:43   one of these things like ad hominem [TS]

00:37:46   attack or straw man fallacy where you [TS]

00:37:51   get a term and it's used enough that it [TS]

00:37:57   is disseminated out to a group of people [TS]

00:37:59   that don't really know how to use it [TS]

00:38:01   but they but now they're employing it as [TS]

00:38:04   a way of like like during the during the [TS]

00:38:07   last election the number of times I read [TS]

00:38:09   the word straw man mm-hm [TS]

00:38:13   even referring to things that was like [TS]

00:38:14   well that's what you know that's [TS]

00:38:16   actually not I mean it it is a fallacy [TS]

00:38:18   it's just not that one but it's one of [TS]

00:38:21   those ones like like the one the classic [TS]

00:38:24   hit for me is just introducing the [TS]

00:38:27   notion of hypocrisy it's one of those [TS]

00:38:29   it's in your quiver as one of those [TS]

00:38:31   things that will just shut down the [TS]

00:38:33   conversation and you may understand why [TS]

00:38:35   the conversation just shut down but you [TS]

00:38:37   feel you get to feel like you won [TS]

00:38:38   because you said caught you said you [TS]

00:38:40   said correlation yeah yeah that's right [TS]

00:38:43   and so that I think came as a result of [TS]

00:38:46   people trying to talk to conspiracy [TS]

00:38:49   theorists and say well I mean I see [TS]

00:38:52   there is some correlation here but it [TS]

00:38:56   but it doesn't that doesn't mean that [TS]

00:38:59   there's causation here and the [TS]

00:39:02   conspiracy theorist got that and they [TS]

00:39:03   were like hmm that's that shut me down [TS]

00:39:05   that time I didn't know what that meant [TS]

00:39:07   so now I'm gonna I'm gonna turn that [TS]

00:39:09   around [TS]

00:39:10   right and now all the conspiracy [TS]

00:39:11   theorists are using it or or rather all [TS]

00:39:14   that like nuts are using it to to argue [TS]

00:39:19   with graphs all right argue with like [TS]

00:39:22   not just statistic that's the price of [TS]

00:39:24   freedom John it was really an [TS]

00:39:26   interesting process really an [TS]

00:39:27   interesting like three hours because it [TS]

00:39:30   just press freedom John in order to have [TS]

00:39:34   the freedom to have guns for no [TS]

00:39:35   particular reason we need to understand [TS]

00:39:36   some people are going to die from guns [TS]

00:39:37   cuz that's the price of freedom it is [TS]

00:39:39   freedom it is the price of freedom well [TS]

00:39:42   I think you know the other thing you [TS]

00:39:43   have to remember is people die Oh [TS]

00:39:46   correlation yeah well things go to sleep [TS]

00:39:48   there's no snow and then you wake up and [TS]

00:39:50   everybody's been shot that's a [TS]

00:39:52   correlation [TS]

00:39:52   it's not the gun it's the bullet that [TS]

00:39:56   kills people so what are you gonna do [TS]

00:39:57   Marilyn you're gonna make bullets you [TS]

00:39:59   gonna take physics and make it illegal [TS]

00:40:01   you can't land on a fraction law cars [TS]

00:40:04   kill people you're gonna make cars [TS]

00:40:05   illegal this episode of Roderick on the [TS]

00:40:12   line is brought to you in part by our X [TS]

00:40:13   bar you can learn more about our X bar [TS]

00:40:16   right now by visiting our X bar comm /r [TS]

00:40:19   OTL this is a new sponsor and we are [TS]

00:40:21   very very excited to have them I am a [TS]

00:40:22   fan of our X bar let me tell you a [TS]

00:40:24   little bit about what this is our X bar [TS]

00:40:26   is a whole food protein bar and what [TS]

00:40:28   does that mean it means that their bars [TS]

00:40:30   are made with 100% whole ingredients our [TS]

00:40:34   X bar wants to be transparent and [TS]

00:40:35   upfront with their customers which is [TS]

00:40:37   why they label the core ingredients [TS]

00:40:38   right on the front of the package and [TS]

00:40:41   the ingredients that make up the texture [TS]

00:40:43   and taste on the back it's all there [TS]

00:40:44   things like 100% real cacao tickets how [TS]

00:40:47   you pronounce that cacao coconut what [TS]

00:40:48   have you all I know is they're yum [TS]

00:40:50   delicious beyond being a go-to snack [TS]

00:40:52   that checks off a number of nutritional [TS]

00:40:54   boxes rx bars actually taste delicious [TS]

00:40:57   this is true they found creating a bar [TS]

00:41:00   made from real whole food ingredients [TS]

00:41:01   actually tastes better than anything out [TS]

00:41:03   there they don't need the fillers they [TS]

00:41:05   don't need the additives they don't need [TS]

00:41:06   the chemicals or the added sugar in here [TS]

00:41:09   here's the thing the core ingredients [TS]

00:41:11   they do all the talking it says right on [TS]

00:41:12   the front it's simply like eating three [TS]

00:41:14   egg whites two dates and six almonds [TS]

00:41:15   with no b.s that means bad stuff that's [TS]

00:41:18   fun turns out that real food ingredients [TS]

00:41:21   actually do taste good you can actually [TS]

00:41:23   taste the cacao the real fruit and the [TS]

00:41:25   spices like sea salt mmm it's really [TS]

00:41:28   like sweet or savory chocolate or fruit [TS]

00:41:30   flavors there's an arcs bar for you 11 [TS]

00:41:32   delicious flavor varieties and they're [TS]

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00:41:36   added sugar no artificial colors [TS]

00:41:38   artificial flavors preservatives or [TS]

00:41:39   fillers and hey whites for protein dates [TS]

00:41:42   to bind it and the nutsert for texture [TS]

00:41:45   our X bars are great night yeah here's [TS]

00:41:47   the thing I I my pal Dan introduced me [TS]

00:41:50   to these things and I was very skeptical [TS]

00:41:51   tell me about this a few months ago I [TS]

00:41:53   thought what the heck I'll try it and I [TS]

00:41:56   got totally hooked see I do this dumb [TS]

00:41:57   thing where how does one say I forget to [TS]

00:42:00   eat all day long he gets to be like 2 or [TS]

00:42:03   3 o'clock I forget to eat [TS]

00:42:04   what am I gonna do I go eat a like a [TS]

00:42:06   like a whole [TS]

00:42:06   like a jar of chow mein no I go and I [TS]

00:42:09   have this ready supply right here right [TS]

00:42:11   here on my desk you can hear it I got [TS]

00:42:14   these wonderful chocolate sea salt rx [TS]

00:42:16   bars I have a pile of them right here on [TS]

00:42:18   my professional podcasting desk now [TS]

00:42:20   what's my favorite I'll have those Faria [TS]

00:42:21   go-to snack little tide me over till [TS]

00:42:23   dinner [TS]

00:42:24   a lot of people also like the mixed [TS]

00:42:26   berry and the apple cinnamon to each his [TS]

00:42:29   or her own we always say here on [TS]

00:42:31   Roderick on the line rx bars for 25% off [TS]

00:42:35   your first order we want you to go over [TS]

00:42:36   to our X bar comm /r OTL and use the [TS]

00:42:39   very special promo code ro TL just like [TS]

00:42:41   it sounds a check out then I'll get you [TS]

00:42:43   25% off your first order our X bar comm [TS]

00:42:46   /ro TL our thanks to them for joining us [TS]

00:42:49   as a new sponsor for supporting Roderick [TS]

00:42:51   online and all the great shows for a [TS]

00:43:00   half your argument is invalid so anyway [TS]

00:43:06   but I I want to return just for a moment [TS]

00:43:09   to your search for a cat box yeah have [TS]

00:43:14   you ever I've seen a lot of cat boxes [TS]

00:43:20   advertised as smell free mm-hmm smell [TS]

00:43:25   proof and I've never actually seen a cat [TS]

00:43:30   box in the wild that was truly smell [TS]

00:43:33   proof I've seen smell proof [TS]

00:43:35   self-cleaning cat boxes in the wild but [TS]

00:43:37   they smell like cat boxes yeah do you [TS]

00:43:41   know of in all this technology so we put [TS]

00:43:45   a man on the moon right we we have [TS]

00:43:47   invented the Roomba [TS]

00:43:48   can't put metal in the microwave but you [TS]

00:43:51   can't put metal in the microwave also a [TS]

00:43:53   microwave cannot cook the center of a [TS]

00:43:55   lasagna no matter how long you put it in [TS]

00:43:57   there that's I have seen that just [TS]

00:43:59   that's not correlation that's just a [TS]

00:44:00   fact yeah so yeah [TS]

00:44:02   oh you guys are you real smart you got a [TS]

00:44:04   thousand Rams in your computers ya [TS]

00:44:06   figure this out but how the fuck do you [TS]

00:44:08   cook the inside of a lasagna you can't [TS]

00:44:10   do it yeah but why has there not why has [TS]

00:44:14   Elon Musk or someone or the poor the [TS]

00:44:17   dude bro from snapchat yes why did he [TS]

00:44:19   make those sunglasses [TS]

00:44:20   stead of actually inventing a way to own [TS]

00:44:22   a cat and not have your house smell like [TS]

00:44:25   a cat scene why would anybody spend [TS]

00:44:29   money putting in fucking granite [TS]

00:44:30   counters in their kitchen when they [TS]

00:44:32   could use that money to make a secret [TS]

00:44:33   room whoa right oh how about I you know [TS]

00:44:37   what I want everything in my kitchen to [TS]

00:44:39   be invisible [TS]

00:44:40   I don't want doors I don't want to see [TS]

00:44:42   doors but I can't can't afford a hidden [TS]

00:44:44   room here's the thing I think there's [TS]

00:44:46   two ways to look at smell at least two [TS]

00:44:47   ways to look at smell in the one way the [TS]

00:44:50   one that people think about is ooh my [TS]

00:44:52   cat makes a tinkle on a duty in a box [TS]

00:44:54   right and I don't want to smell it no [TS]

00:44:57   right I think that's when most people [TS]

00:44:59   talk about that I think that's what they [TS]

00:45:00   mean in our case it's that as much as [TS]

00:45:04   one does not want to be led around by [TS]

00:45:06   one's cat one's cat decides whether or [TS]

00:45:10   not that box will accommodate its [TS]

00:45:12   blessing oh and so the other kind of [TS]

00:45:15   smell is it maybe the cat doesn't like [TS]

00:45:17   the way that thing smells so although [TS]

00:45:18   the pleasant knock-on effect of [TS]

00:45:20   frequently changing or you know sifting [TS]

00:45:22   out the cat box and nice knock-on effect [TS]

00:45:25   of that as your house does not smell [TS]

00:45:26   like ammonia as much right the important [TS]

00:45:28   thing is you make sure you maintain a [TS]

00:45:30   high level of confidence and dignity [TS]

00:45:33   with your cat that your cat knows that [TS]

00:45:34   the he or she or they can go into the [TS]

00:45:37   box and offer up their blessing in a way [TS]

00:45:40   that won't be disturbing to them has it [TS]

00:45:42   ever occurred to you or does it appeal [TS]

00:45:44   to you at all to be one of those people [TS]

00:45:45   that teaches their cat to crouched on [TS]

00:45:47   the toilet seat and go to the bathroom [TS]

00:45:48   in the toilet I'm intrigued by the [TS]

00:45:50   people who do and I've done a little bit [TS]

00:45:53   of scholarship about cat training I [TS]

00:45:55   don't I don't hold that it is impossible [TS]

00:45:58   is probably difficult but I think if you [TS]

00:46:01   if you're the kind of person that really [TS]

00:46:02   wants to train a cat maybe you can or [TS]

00:46:04   more importantly maybe you can see [TS]

00:46:06   yourself you think the cat if you're the [TS]

00:46:08   kind of person who wants to think that [TS]

00:46:10   you've trained a cat yes I like that [TS]

00:46:13   it's kind of it's a kind of feline [TS]

00:46:14   suggestibility I'm not against it and [TS]

00:46:16   I'm not saying it doesn't exist don't [TS]

00:46:17   don't email me yeah what we were looking [TS]

00:46:21   for was we have an old cat who's got a [TS]

00:46:23   lot of problems and at one point why did [TS]

00:46:27   we do this basically we wanted to have a [TS]

00:46:29   box that she would enjoy using and that [TS]

00:46:32   we ideally wouldn't have to see [TS]

00:46:34   and smell so we've tried some different [TS]

00:46:35   ones now we're gonna get a lot of [TS]

00:46:36   letters about this because you can [TS]

00:46:38   actually plunge a lot of money I have [TS]

00:46:41   friends who have the very expensive [TS]

00:46:42   self-cleaning boxes that look like a [TS]

00:46:44   space capsule uh-huh and you can spend [TS]

00:46:47   four figures on something like that and [TS]

00:46:48   those worked there they're useful device [TS]

00:46:50   they think they work they tell you that [TS]

00:46:52   they work but I mean that's a lot like [TS]

00:46:54   trading a cat yeah right that's the [TS]

00:46:56   thing right they try they tell you that [TS]

00:46:58   works but how much how much side [TS]

00:47:00   maintenance are they doing that they're [TS]

00:47:01   not acknowledged John is there any [TS]

00:47:02   chance that it could just be cat [TS]

00:47:03   correlation cat correlation is not [TS]

00:47:07   causation it could be a cat availability [TS]

00:47:09   heuristic right cat confirmation by us [TS]

00:47:12   it could be a cat hominem argument well [TS]

00:47:14   there it is cat confirmation bias [TS]

00:47:16   because there tip so plasma trichinosis [TS]

00:47:19   deposit trichinosis and also yeah you [TS]

00:47:22   know I mean like you know who knows no [TS]

00:47:25   the cat has you convinced and smell the [TS]

00:47:27   cat is important right the cat the cats [TS]

00:47:31   like you love the smell who's training [TS]

00:47:36   whom maybe it's training less that's it [TS]

00:47:39   that was one of my favorite or a late [TS]

00:47:41   period or eat the Franklin I don't know [TS]

00:47:47   why we have animals in our house some of [TS]

00:47:51   the photographs of these cat boxes are [TS]

00:47:52   very very funny just like the idea that [TS]

00:47:55   you get your lamp up on the table and [TS]

00:47:56   you see this little head sticking out oh [TS]

00:47:57   yeah this is my shit box I put a light I [TS]

00:48:02   visited a cat last night oh that I used [TS]

00:48:07   to own Oh [TS]

00:48:09   after my wonderful cat my beloved cat [TS]

00:48:13   Lewis was killed I was despondent and a [TS]

00:48:19   friend of mine had a cat that was the [TS]

00:48:25   this friend of mine was in a love [TS]

00:48:27   relationship with a guy that I know I [TS]

00:48:30   know them both they're both friends of [TS]

00:48:31   mine and it turned out that their and [TS]

00:48:34   then they had a baby a beautiful [TS]

00:48:36   beautiful baby and then it turned out [TS]

00:48:38   that the guy didn't really want to like [TS]

00:48:42   be tied down by a bunch of rules sound [TS]

00:48:46   and so we're always trying to tie it [TS]

00:48:48   down with rules I know [TS]

00:48:50   rules and stuff and so their [TS]

00:48:52   relationship ended and as a parting gift [TS]

00:48:56   to kind of like maybe salve the wound of [TS]

00:49:01   him just moving into an apartment across [TS]

00:49:04   town and getting a girlfriend he got [TS]

00:49:06   them a cat that they didn't want I'm [TS]

00:49:09   kind of fun it was like a lovely parting [TS]

00:49:11   gift it was sort of like oh you know [TS]

00:49:14   brought it home it gave the cat to the [TS]

00:49:16   little girl like sweetie I got you this [TS]

00:49:20   wonderful gift you take care of this now [TS]

00:49:22   yeah and the mom was like we didn't want [TS]

00:49:23   cat yeah and if we had wanted a cat it [TS]

00:49:26   wouldn't be that cat we didn't even get [TS]

00:49:27   to choose the cat and he dropped the cat [TS]

00:49:30   off and then was never seen again [TS]

00:49:31   definitely a certain kind of genre of [TS]

00:49:33   gift here you have yes yeah and and it's [TS]

00:49:36   not that he was never seen again I see [TS]

00:49:38   him all the time it's just that he never [TS]

00:49:39   was seen again in the context of the cat [TS]

00:49:43   this was one of those cats that was [TS]

00:49:46   weaned too early it had it's a cat whose [TS]

00:49:51   head is too small for its body oh no not [TS]

00:49:55   like micro encephalitis of Oh Mike Oh [TS]

00:49:59   Mike Rowe okay oh no so cephalic did it [TS]

00:50:02   was it was just a you know some cats [TS]

00:50:04   have proportions like anybody else and I [TS]

00:50:06   don't want a body shame this cat but [TS]

00:50:08   it's just like him just for you it's not [TS]

00:50:10   the prettiest cat no no and what you [TS]

00:50:13   picked it to bring into your home for [TS]

00:50:15   ever this is not a cat I would have [TS]

00:50:17   picked this is a cat that my mom would [TS]

00:50:19   suggest that you drown in a river she's [TS]

00:50:21   from Ohio she has she had 20 cats living [TS]

00:50:23   under the corn crib but that's a [TS]

00:50:24   different thing and so the cat was one [TS]

00:50:29   of those cats that if you touched it the [TS]

00:50:31   first time it would purr have you [TS]

00:50:33   touched it the second time it would like [TS]

00:50:34   rub up against your hand I mean if you [TS]

00:50:37   touched it the third time it would grab [TS]

00:50:38   you in its claws and bite you I'm not [TS]

00:50:40   I'm not a cat psychologist but you think [TS]

00:50:41   that comes from the weaning too early it [TS]

00:50:43   sounds like it has trust issues in [TS]

00:50:44   additionally have a tiny tiny head it [TS]

00:50:46   sounds like it's got trust issues cuz Oh [TS]

00:50:48   a cat is ultimately a wild animal [TS]

00:50:49   it wants to be wild that's right and [TS]

00:50:51   this cat did have trust issues this cat [TS]

00:50:53   was purchased or [TS]

00:50:55   scavenged by this guy who immediately [TS]

00:50:58   handed it over to a one and a half year [TS]

00:51:00   old and they start and and a woman that [TS]

00:51:04   didn't want it there but I think it was [TS]

00:51:05   already this way so the cat stayed with [TS]

00:51:09   them for a while at this point we saw [TS]

00:51:13   evidence no no he left a cat into the [TS]

00:51:16   house like dropped it off and said here [TS]

00:51:17   this is me now no no I mean I think he [TS]

00:51:24   sees her on Wednesdays and Sundays [TS]

00:51:25   what's the cat I sleep and and so this [TS]

00:51:29   little girl you know these are [TS]

00:51:31   progressive people these are good [TS]

00:51:32   friends of mine and progressive people [TS]

00:51:33   and they were one of the they were one [TS]

00:51:37   of the parents's who taught their pre [TS]

00:51:41   verbal child sign language oh right [TS]

00:51:44   because of the you know because of the [TS]

00:51:46   understanding that child can communicate [TS]

00:51:49   before they can talk and so they taught [TS]

00:51:51   the the baby how to sign like hungry and [TS]

00:51:55   tired and stopped sending to me mad and [TS]

00:51:58   like you know you're not the boss of me [TS]

00:51:59   and whatever else and so the mom my pal [TS]

00:52:05   came into the room one time to find the [TS]

00:52:07   cat like claws in each side of the [TS]

00:52:12   baby's head like like cat biting the the [TS]

00:52:16   baby's pate made the baby into prey [TS]

00:52:19   while the baby was signing frantically [TS]

00:52:23   signing stop stop stop [TS]

00:52:25   no I hate that image it's terrible and [TS]

00:52:27   stuff cuz the cat didn't speak baby [TS]

00:52:29   silent hitch the cat did not speak baby [TS]

00:52:31   silent they should see they should've [TS]

00:52:33   thought the big cat sign language well [TS]

00:52:35   this is the thing they taught the baby [TS]

00:52:36   sign language they didn't I guess [TS]

00:52:38   communicate to the baby that she needed [TS]

00:52:40   to be looking at someone while signing [TS]

00:52:43   and so that they could see her she was [TS]

00:52:46   talking to herself with her hands yeah [TS]

00:52:48   she was talking to them to the walls and [TS]

00:52:50   so the mom immediately called me and [TS]

00:52:52   said we need your help and that help is [TS]

00:52:57   get this cat out of here can't do an [TS]

00:52:58   extraction and I said I'll be there in [TS]

00:53:01   15 minutes [TS]

00:53:02   and so I came over with a cat extraction [TS]

00:53:08   vehicle [TS]

00:53:08   that's right it was it was like a Geek [TS]

00:53:12   Squad actually doesn't yeah I showed up [TS]

00:53:22   with a cardboard box and a roll of [TS]

00:53:26   masking sitting by the front door for [TS]

00:53:35   other reasons I was like okay I'll take [TS]

00:53:38   this box in this roll of masking tape [TS]

00:53:40   mm-hm [TS]

00:53:40   so I show up over there and here's this [TS]

00:53:42   cat who now just seems demure and and [TS]

00:53:46   the baby the cat doesn't know it's bad [TS]

00:53:48   we put that on the cat cat spine and you [TS]

00:53:51   know I am a cat whisperer that's why she [TS]

00:53:53   called me [TS]

00:53:53   and so I'm there and and I do the thing [TS]

00:53:56   that a cat whisperer does which is not [TS]

00:53:58   approach the cat you just sit and start [TS]

00:54:00   making Pleasant chitchat with the with [TS]

00:54:02   the other humans let the cat find you [TS]

00:54:05   the cat's gonna find you cats not [TS]

00:54:09   unaware that you're there it's curious [TS]

00:54:12   it just means it's time so I'm talking [TS]

00:54:14   to the to the grown-up and you know and [TS]

00:54:18   interacting with the child and they both [TS]

00:54:19   have a look of desperation in their eyes [TS]

00:54:21   like like a Stockholm Syndrome situation [TS]

00:54:23   like everything's fine everything's fine [TS]

00:54:25   but there there's eyeballing me well [TS]

00:54:27   their adrenaline let's just be pumping [TS]

00:54:28   yeah when are you gonna get this this [TS]

00:54:31   monster out of here right and I'm you [TS]

00:54:35   know I'm like I'm like the bus driver in [TS]

00:54:40   in the spill Justin Hoffman movie one [TS]

00:54:44   day but no the one who walks around the [TS]

00:54:50   streets shouting Attica Attica oh yeah [TS]

00:54:53   Dog Day Afternoon I'm like the I'm like [TS]

00:54:55   the cop bus driver that that fooled the [TS]

00:54:58   audience in the big twist at the end of [TS]

00:55:00   the movie when I see so spoiler alert [TS]

00:55:03   you're the sleeper cell [TS]

00:55:04   I'm the sleeper cell or something you're [TS]

00:55:06   at least in disguise so but you know in [TS]

00:55:08   your kind of training that like you need [TS]

00:55:10   to come in and play it off legit the [TS]

00:55:11   only way to make friends with a cat is [TS]

00:55:13   to not pay attention to the cat that's [TS]

00:55:14   right and so the cat eventually finds me [TS]

00:55:16   and I pick the cat up and the cat is you [TS]

00:55:18   know the cat gives me two three paths [TS]

00:55:20   and then is [TS]

00:55:21   biting me and climbing me mm-hmm but in [TS]

00:55:24   a way that it thinks is fun and I'm like [TS]

00:55:26   you know Kitty I've been clawed by by [TS]

00:55:29   bigger cats than you and I gradually [TS]

00:55:34   just maintaining friendly eye contact [TS]

00:55:36   with my friend and her daughter I take [TS]

00:55:38   the cat [TS]

00:55:39   I put the cat in the box now you me that [TS]

00:55:43   simple did you scoop it did you did you [TS]

00:55:44   grab it by the by the scrub I already [TS]

00:55:46   had the cat in in my lap you're doing [TS]

00:55:49   like a Blofeld pet yeah and then the cat [TS]

00:55:52   a Blofeld pet that's attacking you okay [TS]

00:55:54   I put the cat in the box now the cat did [TS]

00:55:56   not expect the box the cat never expects [TS]

00:56:01   the box if you leave a box out a cat [TS]

00:56:05   will go into it [TS]

00:56:07   but the cat expects that box mm-hmm so [TS]

00:56:10   if you go if you try and approach that [TS]

00:56:12   box with the cat in it and like close up [TS]

00:56:14   the box it depends on the cat yeah [TS]

00:56:16   that's gonna sometimes but in this [TS]

00:56:19   instance it was like hey cat why don't [TS]

00:56:22   you go in this box for a little bit I [TS]

00:56:25   put the cat in the box and then I tried [TS]

00:56:27   to seal the box with masking tape [TS]

00:56:31   loosely right but standard cardboard [TS]

00:56:36   Amazon stop box with four flaps that's [TS]

00:56:38   right oh boy now I don't know if you've [TS]

00:56:41   ever tried to seal a cat in oh yeah but [TS]

00:56:46   cat was not into it and masking tape is [TS]

00:56:48   not sufficient you know you you're never [TS]

00:56:51   really truly ready for a motivated cat [TS]

00:56:54   that's right that's right it was the cat [TS]

00:56:58   moves in ways that are very [TS]

00:57:00   unpredictable the best you can do is [TS]

00:57:03   like like a blanket party the best you [TS]

00:57:04   can do is like basically throw it in a [TS]

00:57:06   sack which I've done I have thrown a cat [TS]

00:57:07   in a sack it's yeah as you need to [TS]

00:57:09   really like overwhelm the cat so quickly [TS]

00:57:11   that there's no part of their body [TS]

00:57:13   they're like yeah like any kind of a [TS]

00:57:14   pest if they can get their head out the [TS]

00:57:15   whole body will come out that's exactly [TS]

00:57:17   what I get for flaps down and tape it it [TS]

00:57:20   was very hard and I'm God I mean I read [TS]

00:57:23   a thread on Quora the other day where [TS]

00:57:27   some European smartypants was like why [TS]

00:57:30   are American cops so rough [TS]

00:57:32   and then of course there was the [TS]

00:57:34   predictable answer from a bunch of cops [TS]

00:57:35   but what is correlation yeah one of the [TS]

00:57:38   cops was like I'd like to propose a [TS]

00:57:40   thought experiment why don't you go [TS]

00:57:42   wherever you are and find the smallest [TS]

00:57:45   person you know just the one that you [TS]

00:57:47   think is like the smallest least [TS]

00:57:49   physically imposing person you know now [TS]

00:57:51   try to put handcuffs on them if they [TS]

00:57:53   don't want you to yeah what we're [TS]

00:57:55   neither one did you get hurt I challenge [TS]

00:57:58   you go do it now find the smallest [TS]

00:58:00   person I mean that's not a child the [TS]

00:58:02   smallest adult person you and try and [TS]

00:58:03   put handcuffs on it you say go and [TS]

00:58:05   apprehend a twink we go well now that's [TS]

00:58:08   not a word we can use it I use that word [TS]

00:58:10   anymore I can't say it because it's not [TS]

00:58:12   part okay okay let's say you've got to [TS]

00:58:17   [Music] [TS]

00:58:27   get this cat in the box I put enough [TS]

00:58:29   masking tape over it that it is just an [TS]

00:58:32   initial level and I mean I was coming [TS]

00:58:34   out of the crack well at the very first [TS]

00:58:36   I think I had successfully convinced the [TS]

00:58:39   cat it was a game but then I picked the [TS]

00:58:42   box up and I am saying [TS]

00:58:44   avoir to my friends as I'm hustling to [TS]

00:58:49   the door with the cat in the box and the [TS]

00:58:52   cat then realizes the jig is up [TS]

00:58:54   and nothing to lose he's trying to get [TS]

00:58:58   out of that box [TS]

00:58:59   sure and once we get outside I don't [TS]

00:59:01   want to let the cat out of the box [TS]

00:59:02   outside cuz it's not an outside cat so [TS]

00:59:06   I'm on my way to the car and I'm trying [TS]

00:59:08   to keep the cat immediately has nine [TS]

00:59:11   paws right like how are how are all [TS]

00:59:14   these paws getting out of this box [TS]

00:59:16   there's like I can count nine paws as [TS]

00:59:19   it's just thrashing and roaring well I [TS]

00:59:23   get it to get it to my car and I get the [TS]

00:59:26   cat in the car and then I don't care if [TS]

00:59:28   it gets out of the box because the car [TS]

00:59:30   is a contained environment all I have to [TS]

00:59:31   do is get the cat in the box one more [TS]

00:59:33   time [TS]

00:59:34   I get it in the car I take it and I get [TS]

00:59:38   in the car okay and she puts a bunch of [TS]

00:59:41   cat accoutrement in the trunk and she's [TS]

00:59:47   so grateful she's like thank you [TS]

00:59:49   collects all the cats things all the [TS]

00:59:51   cats luggage in the trunk can I go home [TS]

00:59:55   the cat is walking around my car roaring [TS]

00:59:59   at me [TS]

00:59:59   at me [TS]

01:00:00   I'm only grateful that it is a girl cat [TS]

01:00:03   because she's not like pissing on [TS]

01:00:05   everything in that kind of fury piss [TS]

01:00:07   that only a cat can do like a dog does a [TS]

01:00:10   defensive spray or a scared spray we're [TS]

01:00:14   scared spray right I think that's the [TS]

01:00:17   that's what a cat does when it feels [TS]

01:00:18   threatened but a cat's an asshole right [TS]

01:00:21   cuz they're all assholes it feels [TS]

01:00:23   threatened just because you're like you [TS]

01:00:25   put it in a car in a box covered with [TS]

01:00:27   masking tape anyway I get it home and I [TS]

01:00:31   get the cat in the in the house and the [TS]

01:00:34   cat and I began to live together well so [TS]

01:00:46   so the cat is named Lucy and I could [TS]

01:00:51   never separate the cat's name from [TS]

01:00:53   Lucile Van Pelt's because they basically [TS]

01:00:55   have the same personality the cat is [TS]

01:00:58   deceptive the cat is like you know like [TS]

01:01:00   it's one of those cats where you wake up [TS]

01:01:02   in the morning you stumble down the [TS]

01:01:04   stairs pour yourself a cup of ambition [TS]

01:01:06   yawn stretch try to you know come to [TS]

01:01:09   life and this cat leaps out from behind [TS]

01:01:13   leaps out from its secret room which we [TS]

01:01:15   weren't even aware existed and claws the [TS]

01:01:17   shit out of your ankles while you're not [TS]

01:01:18   ready and now you're in a Clouseau and [TS]

01:01:21   Kato type situation it's exactly right [TS]

01:01:23   where the cat the cat thinks that it's [TS]

01:01:25   funny to come attack you and then rage [TS]

01:01:27   off into the night and so you're always [TS]

01:01:29   walking around the house with your [TS]

01:01:31   ankles and wrists are are always like [TS]

01:01:34   covered with scratches and you have I [TS]

01:01:36   mean I had cat scratch fever the entire [TS]

01:01:38   time cat scratch fever it's better than [TS]

01:01:43   Wango Tango it's a great riff dude that [TS]

01:01:57   is a really good riff so eventually [TS]

01:02:00   didn't scratched by Kate oh yeah [TS]

01:02:03   actually I'm like cat [TS]

01:02:05   Lucy Lucy cat she lived here for about [TS]

01:02:08   six months I was like Lucy I just I find [TS]

01:02:12   this relationship [TS]

01:02:13   just isn't going anywhere like I'm not [TS]

01:02:17   falling in love with you I mean I fell [TS]

01:02:19   in love with Lois the day he showed up [TS]

01:02:23   [Music] [TS]

01:02:24   just not meant to be [TS]

01:02:26   I'm not bonding with you sweetheart [TS]

01:02:27   mm-hmm and I said you're gonna go live [TS]

01:02:32   on a farm and in this case on the farm [TS]

01:02:34   the farm is my mom's house oh I see it's [TS]

01:02:38   it's a metaphorical metaphorical form [TS]

01:02:39   that's right because my mom had 20 cats [TS]

01:02:41   living under the corn crib and only two [TS]

01:02:43   of them had names she knows what to do [TS]

01:02:46   with a disagreeable cat [TS]

01:02:47   she's not gonna train you to go to the [TS]

01:02:49   bathroom in a toilet she just doesn't [TS]

01:02:50   care [TS]

01:02:51   mm-hmm and that like lack of care kind [TS]

01:02:56   of extends in all directions so the cat [TS]

01:02:58   went to live with my mom and my mom was [TS]

01:03:00   fine she was fine the cat was fine I [TS]

01:03:04   think the I think Lucy understood as all [TS]

01:03:07   animals do that you do not jump out from [TS]

01:03:11   behind a piece of furniture and claw my [TS]

01:03:13   mom now boy we do it once it's not at [TS]

01:03:16   one time buddy we had a cat that would [TS]

01:03:21   not enter the living room I knew better [TS]

01:03:26   it knew better than to go into the [TS]

01:03:28   living room and we would all be in the [TS]

01:03:30   living room with the doors wide open on [TS]

01:03:32   both sides and the cat would would come [TS]

01:03:37   to the threshold of the living room and [TS]

01:03:40   sit now if you can train a cat to do [TS]

01:03:43   that I will put in with you you cannot [TS]

01:03:46   train a cat to do it unless you are my [TS]

01:03:49   mom and she never hit this is also an [TS]

01:03:53   important distinction though because [TS]

01:03:54   training is man I'm gonna get a book and [TS]

01:03:57   I'm gonna get an audio book and I'm [TS]

01:03:59   gonna watch some YouTube videos and I'm [TS]

01:04:00   gonna train my cat or you could be the [TS]

01:04:03   kind of person who throws a certain [TS]

01:04:05   shape where the cat just learns how to [TS]

01:04:07   stay alive yeah the cat was like [TS]

01:04:10   entering that room puts me at risk [TS]

01:04:12   somehow I don't get my mind right yeah [TS]

01:04:15   psionic risk mm-hmm because the woman [TS]

01:04:18   there the woman what that is that is [TS]

01:04:20   vibrating in colors that only I can see [TS]

01:04:22   the woman that is making that is making [TS]

01:04:25   noises at both ends of the [TS]

01:04:27   sonic spectrum that no human can hear [TS]

01:04:29   she comes in colors everywhere yeah she [TS]

01:04:31   will send mind lightning now huh if I [TS]

01:04:35   walk across the threshold so I don't [TS]

01:04:37   want that sadness that's a good word for [TS]

01:04:38   it yeah so and my mom uses psyonix all [TS]

01:04:41   the time she uses it on like I haven't [TS]

01:04:44   seen her in months and I get her [TS]

01:04:45   psionics yeah well she's she walks [TS]

01:04:48   around and like um you know like bad men [TS]

01:04:52   on the sidewalk in the middle of the [TS]

01:04:55   night we'll kind of step to the side and [TS]

01:04:56   take their head their their their [TS]

01:04:58   balaclavas off on their way to their [TS]

01:05:00   their appointment robbing stores milady [TS]

01:05:08   yeah she does it but she eventually said [TS]

01:05:16   there's no there is no magic to this cat [TS]

01:05:21   mm and if I'm gonna feed and clothe a [TS]

01:05:28   worker I would like that worker to be [TS]

01:05:33   working in the mind and a cat has a job [TS]

01:05:36   yeah and this cat is not performing up [TS]

01:05:39   to the standards of employment here well [TS]

01:05:44   right about that time Erik Corson bass [TS]

01:05:47   player of the long winters was spending [TS]

01:05:50   a lot of time at the house because we [TS]

01:05:52   had built a studio in our Munk hole in [TS]

01:05:55   the basement of her house we had a rock [TS]

01:05:58   and roll monk hole down in the basement [TS]

01:06:01   no one down by your racks of glasses yep [TS]

01:06:03   yeah down there we call it the Red Room [TS]

01:06:06   but it was only because it had I had [TS]

01:06:08   chosen for it bright red carpet but the [TS]

01:06:11   room itself was painted gunmetal grey so [TS]

01:06:14   it was already it was already creating [TS]

01:06:17   like disturbance in you even as he [TS]

01:06:20   walked through the door like it was like [TS]

01:06:22   alert alert alert monk home uncle Eric [TS]

01:06:27   loved it down there and he he and I were [TS]

01:06:29   spending a bunch of time down there [TS]

01:06:31   recording tambourine tracks on the [TS]

01:06:33   unreleased forth long winter's records [TS]

01:06:38   months and months anyway Eric and Lucy [TS]

01:06:43   saw each other across a crowded dance [TS]

01:06:46   floor and moved through the crowd toward [TS]

01:06:53   one another and met in the middle and [TS]

01:06:56   were never to be apart and Lucy now to [TS]

01:07:03   this day [TS]

01:07:04   ten years later lives happily with Eric [TS]

01:07:07   Carson in his house in white center [TS]

01:07:10   Seattle and Eric thinks about her and [TS]

01:07:18   she thinks about him every minute of [TS]

01:07:21   their lives and he and every morning he [TS]

01:07:24   wakes up and stumbles to the kitchen she [TS]

01:07:29   attacks him and shreds his ankles and he [TS]

01:07:32   considers it the ultimate gesture of [TS]

01:07:34   love and he grabs her and goes oh do do [TS]

01:07:38   pooty doo doo doo dee and she bites him [TS]

01:07:41   in shreds him and he goes Dora burger [TS]

01:07:44   googoo gaagaa and she loves him I've [TS]

01:07:47   never seen an animal love a person so [TS]

01:07:49   much she wasn't doing it out of [TS]

01:07:56   malfeasant aggression no that's how she [TS]

01:08:00   do this is just a weaning thing she is [TS]

01:08:03   so important didn't get enough time with [TS]

01:08:06   her mom so I'm interacting with Lucy all [TS]

01:08:10   the time because I've been over Eric's [TS]

01:08:11   house oh really and you know glad to [TS]

01:08:15   hear that yeah it's fun oh it's fun [TS]

01:08:17   um and my impression of I mean I've had [TS]

01:08:20   more interesting interpersonal [TS]

01:08:24   interactions with a hard-boiled egg that [TS]

01:08:27   I have Lucy do you see listen [TS]

01:08:29   differently now I mean now that you see [TS]

01:08:30   Lucy in an accommodating environment you [TS]

01:08:32   see the cat differently well when I look [TS]

01:08:35   into her eyes deep into her eyes tiny [TS]

01:08:37   little head I see into infinity because [TS]

01:08:42   between her eyes and infinity there [TS]

01:08:44   isn't anything it just goes and goes is [TS]

01:08:48   she an old soul [TS]

01:08:49   I don't know why I think that is part of [TS]

01:08:55   the infinity in there okay and it may be [TS]

01:08:59   that I don't see it because it's smaller [TS]

01:09:00   than the space that it's meant to occupy [TS]

01:09:03   it's kind of like maybe it's down in the [TS]

01:09:06   bottom and I can't quite see it okay but [TS]

01:09:09   she and Eric understand each other [TS]

01:09:11   perfectly and watching her be a good [TS]

01:09:16   house cat and a good studio cat and like [TS]

01:09:18   a constant companion and friend she she [TS]

01:09:22   and Eric play this game you know he has [TS]

01:09:24   one of those walk around houses where [TS]

01:09:26   you walk into the kitchen then you can [TS]

01:09:27   go down the hall and you come back into [TS]

01:09:28   the living room and you know you can go [TS]

01:09:30   around in a circle oh that's a nice plan [TS]

01:09:31   they play a game like it like an adult [TS]

01:09:35   and a toddler where she follows him [TS]

01:09:38   around the ceramics the Eric see adult [TS]

01:09:40   Eric's the adult in this case okay she [TS]

01:09:43   or or actually depending you know it [TS]

01:09:45   depends on who how old the toddler isn't [TS]

01:09:47   who who's in charge of the games but [TS]

01:09:50   he'll he'll go around he'll sneak around [TS]

01:09:53   until she's like where'd he go and then [TS]

01:09:56   she turns around and goes the other way [TS]

01:09:57   and then he turns around it goes the [TS]

01:09:59   other way and they'll sit in the living [TS]

01:10:02   room and watch them play this game and [TS]

01:10:03   they're both having the time of their [TS]

01:10:06   life um and they're you know and Eric's [TS]

01:10:09   like where'd he go wait oh wait and [TS]

01:10:14   she's like looking around this corner [TS]

01:10:16   look out and then she's like I'm gonna [TS]

01:10:17   get him this time and goes this way and [TS]

01:10:19   I'm like this is amazing [TS]

01:10:20   I feel like this is a YouTube channel [TS]

01:10:24   that like that they just haven't [TS]

01:10:27   discovered yet I mean it so this is [TS]

01:10:28   could be a YouTube channel that had 40 [TS]

01:10:30   million views yeah oh no question about [TS]

01:10:33   it he be he well they they would both be [TS]

01:10:35   huge stars so and of course in Japan a [TS]

01:10:39   fat cat with a tiny head there's [TS]

01:10:42   probably a whole word for that there's a [TS]

01:10:44   word and there's a fan fan group you [TS]

01:10:47   probably get a pillow like that you can [TS]

01:10:48   sleep with a pillow with it that guy [TS]

01:10:50   with the tiny head in a bikini a tiny [TS]

01:10:53   bikini spiky blue hair but it was it it [TS]

01:10:58   has taught me you know it has taught me [TS]

01:11:00   to believe in happy end [TS]

01:11:03   I should say so because I did not see it [TS]

01:11:06   going this way John no I like this is [TS]

01:11:09   like he just fired into the Sun my god I [TS]

01:11:11   was prepared to take Lucy down to the [TS]

01:11:14   Washington State ferry system and take [TS]

01:11:16   her on a ferry and then leave the ferry [TS]

01:11:18   without her and after a while the people [TS]

01:11:20   that work on the ferry would after about [TS]

01:11:22   three trips I think they'd be like is [TS]

01:11:24   there a cat on the Thomas ferry yeah [TS]

01:11:26   he's like a monkey's paw yeah and then [TS]

01:11:28   they would find a home for her right [TS]

01:11:31   yeah that's right a car would get on and [TS]

01:11:34   the cat would jump in the car I mean [TS]

01:11:36   whatever it would be it'd be it would be [TS]

01:11:37   one of those great adventure movies but [TS]

01:11:40   that's not what happened it turned out [TS]

01:11:41   that that all Lucy needed was Erik and [TS]

01:11:44   while Erik needed was Lucy I don't like [TS]

01:11:48   to talk about this because it reveals [TS]

01:11:50   something about myself but it reveals a [TS]

01:11:51   lot of things about myself that I'm just [TS]

01:11:53   it's not very on-brand for me I hope we [TS]

01:11:57   heard that there's a thing you can get [TS]

01:12:00   when you have a pet especially a cat you [TS]

01:12:03   hear about things that you can get you [TS]

01:12:05   hear about this from like news groups [TS]

01:12:07   yes sure friends circles you hear about [TS]

01:12:11   like oh you should get it this kind of [TS]

01:12:13   scratching post you should get your cat [TS]

01:12:15   this kind of a bowl so it doesn't get [TS]

01:12:18   whisker fatigue you should get it this [TS]

01:12:20   kind of a box you should get we heard [TS]

01:12:22   about something called comfort zone [TS]

01:12:25   comfort zone it looks like one of those [TS]

01:12:28   modern air freshener things like a [TS]

01:12:32   renews it kind of thing where you plug [TS]

01:12:34   it in and basically it claims to release [TS]

01:12:37   a relaxing scent that relaxes the cat we [TS]

01:12:43   bought these years ago seen this coming [TS]

01:12:51   asking if I'd have for the same scent I [TS]

01:13:02   don't know I'm not a cat can you smell [TS]

01:13:04   it no I don't just uses electric as far [TS]

01:13:07   as I know it could be it could be [TS]

01:13:09   glycerin in there I don't know but like [TS]

01:13:11   we went through this time where the cat [TS]

01:13:13   has had a very traumatic life she was [TS]

01:13:15   bullied she's [TS]

01:13:17   she's funny-looking she's got a lot of [TS]

01:13:18   problems and then sometimes she's a [TS]

01:13:20   stand in the hallway and do this up to [TS]

01:13:27   13 times often at 4:00 in the morning my [TS]

01:13:31   wife says to me she says well maybe we [TS]

01:13:33   should get some of these cat relaxers [TS]

01:13:34   and I said do you think you had a job in [TS]

01:13:37   like a nuclear missile silo klaxon and [TS]

01:13:47   you know you gotta buy refills for them [TS]

01:13:49   and so yeah relax her refills we use it [TS]

01:13:55   for a while it ran out I didn't give it [TS]

01:13:56   much thought but it was determined by [TS]

01:13:59   members of our household that it made a [TS]

01:14:00   difference really and you know what so [TS]

01:14:04   we got more of them we I now have a [TS]

01:14:06   reminder every two weeks to check out [TS]

01:14:08   that I actually have something I have to [TS]

01:14:09   click that says check on cat relaxers [TS]

01:14:11   these these things only last two weeks [TS]

01:14:14   no they last seven supposedly a month [TS]

01:14:17   this is the ultimate ill Marilyn oh god [TS]

01:14:20   sing it sister about boxes of six I [TS]

01:14:22   vitamins six packs now you have you have [TS]

01:14:25   the greatest eel of all the electric cat [TS]

01:14:27   relaxers I have to stop what I'm doing [TS]

01:14:29   and walk around unscrew the bulb of cat [TS]

01:14:32   relaxer and put a fresh one on because [TS]

01:14:34   it's been determined that it helps now [TS]

01:14:35   here's the funny part and this is why [TS]

01:14:36   I'm so simpatico with your cat training [TS]

01:14:38   you type situation which is I think they [TS]

01:14:40   might work a little bit but I can't tell [TS]

01:14:42   I don't know if it's a toxoplasmosis I [TS]

01:14:44   don't know if it's love I don't know [TS]

01:14:46   what it is but we now have Carol acts [TS]

01:14:48   errs and I think it might work does the [TS]

01:14:51   cat continue to klaxon in the middle of [TS]

01:14:53   this is the problem now we don't know if [TS]

01:14:56   it's the exception of the rule because [TS]

01:14:57   sometimes she does it and it's cuz she [TS]

01:14:59   wants food other times it might because [TS]

01:15:01   she's lonely I think it's because she's [TS]

01:15:02   deaf and blind although candidly I'm the [TS]

01:15:04   only one who thinks that right she [TS]

01:15:06   doesn't understand that [TS]

01:15:07   don't stop stepping right where I'm [TS]

01:15:09   about to step and then take take the [TS]

01:15:11   next step to where I'm about to head [TS]

01:15:12   stop seeing surprised [TS]

01:15:14   I've never anywhere but where I walk all [TS]

01:15:17   the time and if you keep walking right [TS]

01:15:19   where I'm walking you're gonna have [TS]

01:15:20   surprise for the last year was your [TS]

01:15:21   fucking life yeah yeah so that's the [TS]

01:15:24   thing I do now is do refill those do you [TS]

01:15:27   think it could be whisker fatigue well [TS]

01:15:30   we got the rules for that [TS]

01:15:35   [Music] [TS]

01:15:36   [Laughter] [TS]