Roderick on the Line

Ep. 272: "Graham Is Beautiful"


01:00:00   oh yeah tilda swinton I'd like to see [TS]

01:00:02   Kate Blanchet until this went and do [TS]

01:00:04   some things together maybe a buddy in [TS]

01:00:05   heaven haven't they already have they it [TS]

01:00:08   seems like they should they should do a [TS]

01:00:09   computer movie just kicking Andy Serkis [TS]

01:00:17   in the balls for two hours shut up shut [TS]

01:00:20   up any circus [TS]

01:00:20   up any circus [TS]

00:00:00   [Music] [TS]

00:00:04   hello hi John hi Merlin Happy New Year [TS]

00:00:13   still it's just the holiday season is [TS]

00:00:16   really take my belt so much blowback for [TS]

00:00:21   that mulatto costume and it was a lot of [TS]

00:00:24   emails about the Virgin Mary oh my god [TS]

00:00:30   and an angry baby claiming to be God [TS]

00:00:33   came after an angry cold baby but warm [TS]

00:00:37   from inside one from inside by the fact [TS]

00:00:40   that it's God his righteous wrath yeah [TS]

00:00:46   Christmas episode from the the week [TS]

00:00:49   before this one recording this and we're [TS]

00:00:53   here to wish you a happy 2018 from oh [TS]

00:00:57   it's gonna be a good year do you think [TS]

00:00:59   you really think well you remember at [TS]

00:01:01   the end of 2016 I got real cocky around [TS]

00:01:04   2016 was like oh yeah this finally you [TS]

00:01:07   know yeah yeah because we were like when [TS]

00:01:09   will this year be over this is the worst [TS]

00:01:11   year in history 2016 is the worst year [TS]

00:01:13   in history even though probably not as [TS]

00:01:17   bad as 1915 or 1918 when an influenza or [TS]

00:01:23   1919 when an influenza epidemic went [TS]

00:01:26   around the world and killed millions of [TS]

00:01:27   people but no 2016 1939 that's a bad [TS]

00:01:32   year June 39 to June 40 you know a lot [TS]

00:01:39   of shit went down 1848 was an [TS]

00:01:43   interesting year like a half a dozen [TS]

00:01:45   European revolutions deposed like a [TS]

00:01:49   bunch of royal families how that was a [TS]

00:01:51   year exciting that was that was Europe [TS]

00:01:54   Spring number one that was a bad year [TS]

00:01:57   1968 was definitely a weird year that [TS]

00:02:00   was a crazy that's I think these kids [TS]

00:02:02   today they don't know from weird it's [TS]

00:02:04   your never get your head around click [TS]

00:02:06   him oh yeah 1865 got April 1865 certain [TS]

00:02:10   tough year [TS]

00:02:13   forty-five lot happened in that one [TS]

00:02:15   month but no yeah I think 68 is going to [TS]

00:02:18   buy pound-for-pound [TS]

00:02:19   in terms of like really looking at how [TS]

00:02:22   people's knobs were calibrated at that [TS]

00:02:24   time 1968 was fucked up yeah going into [TS]

00:02:28   1968 and coming out of 1968 we're [TS]

00:02:31   talking about two different world yes [TS]

00:02:32   right magical mystery tour to the White [TS]

00:02:37   Album right well and also I was born in [TS]

00:02:40   that year so you go from pre John to [TS]

00:02:43   post John the breed of cat that my [TS]

00:02:46   daughter would like to get that I have [TS]

00:02:47   no intention of getting became [TS]

00:02:49   acknowledged as a breed in my lifetime [TS]

00:02:52   1967 it's some kind of big cat right [TS]

00:02:55   tall cat it looks like a cartoon if you [TS]

00:02:57   look up exotics space cat try that yeah [TS]

00:03:02   there's no such cat as an exotic what [TS]

00:03:04   are you talking about yeah yeah exotics [TS]

00:03:07   is the breed of k2 it's kind of like I [TS]

00:03:14   mean I know I'll get this wrong don't [TS]

00:03:15   email me it's kind of like a [TS]

00:03:16   short-haired Persian basically with that [TS]

00:03:19   face look at that face look at those [TS]

00:03:20   eyes that's one of those fake cat faces [TS]

00:03:23   that's not a real thing [TS]

00:03:24   I know I know that's why you know you [TS]

00:03:29   know that the cat that we are that we're [TS]

00:03:32   trying to get is a is a Norwegian Forest [TS]

00:03:37   Cat hmm have you ever seen that in [TS]

00:03:41   forests got just look at the plumage no [TS]

00:03:43   yeah we chin or okay oh that looks like [TS]

00:03:53   a cat you don't wanna mess with its kind [TS]

00:03:55   of cat have you ever seen Norwegian so [TS]

00:04:00   put in Norwegian Forest Cat chases Fox [TS]

00:04:03   oh yeah oh look at that oh wow it can [TS]

00:04:09   keep up in the Fox it not only that it [TS]

00:04:12   can hunt a fox I mean look at those [TS]

00:04:14   foxes they're terrified terrified look [TS]

00:04:15   at the ears are back oh my God look at [TS]

00:04:18   the picture DC down a little bit in the [TS]

00:04:20   image images of a woman holding a [TS]

00:04:23   Norwegian Forest Cat inside out [TS]

00:04:26   mean Coon this is big it was that big [TS]

00:04:30   our cow weighs six ounce know that cat [TS]

00:04:33   weighs 50 pound [TS]

00:04:34   oh my god yeah its enormous and it's a [TS]

00:04:38   fox it's a fox killer mmm [TS]

00:04:40   it's as big as a dog and so in our [TS]

00:04:43   family there is a desire to own one of [TS]

00:04:45   these animals my mom says that she is [TS]

00:04:50   the one who's going to buy the cat so I [TS]

00:04:51   get no say and what the cat is or does [TS]

00:04:54   hang on hang on your your mom is going [TS]

00:04:57   to acquire a cat of her choosing for [TS]

00:04:59   your household my mom feels like a this [TS]

00:05:03   is the one of the amazing things about a [TS]

00:05:05   Norwegian Forest Cat is it is a [TS]

00:05:06   hypoallergenic cat which is the opposite [TS]

00:05:09   of what it sounds like it means you [TS]

00:05:10   don't get allergies to it that's right [TS]

00:05:13   you're not allergic to it because it has [TS]

00:05:14   because it has no dander and I think the [TS]

00:05:18   furs like the fur of above a lion and [TS]

00:05:22   the cat so so I'm like well I feel like [TS]

00:05:25   the forest cat should be and my mom is [TS]

00:05:27   like you don't get to say so but the [TS]

00:05:32   somehow the Norwegian Forest Cat has not [TS]

00:05:34   arrived on the scene yet and so and I'm [TS]

00:05:37   Pro Norwegian Forest Cat I just feel [TS]

00:05:41   like I want a little bit more to do with [TS]

00:05:45   it but no sorry no that's not part of my [TS]

00:05:49   person you have any way to practice by [TS]

00:05:52   interacting with this kind of cat and [TS]

00:05:53   seeing how you feel about its mojo I [TS]

00:05:56   also look at their faces in these [TS]

00:06:00   photographs they're very divided they [TS]

00:06:03   are there they have a lot of dignity [TS]

00:06:06   they are I think they are largely [TS]

00:06:08   beautiful kindly opposite in some ways [TS]

00:06:10   of the cat my daughter once exactly the [TS]

00:06:13   cats are cute they have a lien equality [TS]

00:06:16   yeah your your daughter's cat does not [TS]

00:06:19   seem like it could survive outside these [TS]

00:06:21   cats feel like if they do deign to come [TS]

00:06:24   inside right they come inside only to [TS]

00:06:27   walk around and basically like sit on [TS]

00:06:30   everything to make sure you know that [TS]

00:06:31   they are the owner [TS]

00:06:32   I'm just gonna come in and take whatever [TS]

00:06:34   they want because they can and I really [TS]

00:06:37   approve of that I feel like there's no [TS]

00:06:39   possible way I will not really get along [TS]

00:06:41   with this yeah that's you sit on a [TS]

00:06:42   throne pet in one of these and I also [TS]

00:06:45   feel like no matter who claims to own [TS]

00:06:47   this cat this cat will claim me as its [TS]

00:06:50   owner and so it will want to interact [TS]

00:06:53   primarily with me oh I'm sending one I [TS]

00:06:55   really like it's one of it out in the [TS]

00:06:57   snow look at that looking particularly [TS]

00:07:01   like furry look at that thing and I [TS]

00:07:07   think that there is also a Siberian [TS]

00:07:10   version of the Norwegian Forest Cat huh [TS]

00:07:13   oh yeah see look at that cat come on [TS]

00:07:15   that's a good look come on [TS]

00:07:18   it's as big as an owl and it has paws [TS]

00:07:22   like a catcher's mitt and it's got the [TS]

00:07:24   bearing of a gargoyle yeah yeah yeah and [TS]

00:07:27   just like this business I mean that's [TS]

00:07:29   the kind of cat that would keep varmints [TS]

00:07:31   out of your yard [TS]

00:07:32   just by energy the varmints would come [TS]

00:07:36   within a hundred meters of your house [TS]

00:07:38   and they'd be like hmm I feel like I'm [TS]

00:07:40   gonna take the long way today huh [TS]

00:07:42   all right so you're not on principle [TS]

00:07:45   you're not against your mother's [TS]

00:07:46   decision that this is a kind of animal [TS]

00:07:48   that's gonna live in your home no I am [TS]

00:07:51   NOT again she's she also in charge of am [TS]

00:07:52   I getting that she's also in charge of [TS]

00:07:54   acquiring it yes but the thing about it [TS]

00:07:58   is that these are now some kind of [TS]

00:08:01   prized breed where if you want to buy [TS]

00:08:03   one you have to pay $700 or something [TS]

00:08:07   that's well what I think $700 is what [TS]

00:08:10   you get for a neutered and decrepid well [TS]

00:08:15   if I'm a factor second yeah like [TS]

00:08:17   something that's already hunted a bunch [TS]

00:08:19   of foxes and is lost in here and I'm [TS]

00:08:21   like look if we're gonna get one of [TS]

00:08:23   these things I want to get a breeding [TS]

00:08:24   one get a fresh one and my mom's I want [TS]

00:08:27   to get a kitten that's gonna be like a [TS]

00:08:29   that I'm gonna put out to stud and she [TS]

00:08:32   says I don't even think that you can get [TS]

00:08:35   one that isn't neutered because they [TS]

00:08:38   want to reserve the who they don't want [TS]

00:08:41   to water down the bridge right constrain [TS]

00:08:44   the supply yeah they don't want like [TS]

00:08:46   just some normal out there with a with a [TS]

00:08:49   breeding cat so and I just feel like [TS]

00:08:52   you're gonna put they it's a big cat I [TS]

00:08:54   think it's a I think it's the people the [TS]

00:08:57   people that have decided just like there [TS]

00:08:59   are people that go to their local [TS]

00:09:03   Democratic Party district meeting once a [TS]

00:09:07   month to use Robert's Rules of Order on [TS]

00:09:09   one another just how those people that [TS]

00:09:11   you would think are crazy train set [TS]

00:09:13   people that just ended up instead of [TS]

00:09:15   having train sets or shortwave radios [TS]

00:09:17   they go to Democratic Party meetings you [TS]

00:09:19   think oh these people are nuts and then [TS]

00:09:21   when it comes time to nominate and elect [TS]

00:09:24   a candidate to public office right turns [TS]

00:09:26   out they're the ones they are like they [TS]

00:09:29   actually accrue power to themselves [TS]

00:09:31   because nobody else cares enough and so [TS]

00:09:36   it ends up that they run the Democratic [TS]

00:09:38   Party and there are Republicans doing [TS]

00:09:41   the same thing elsewhere and these are [TS]

00:09:43   the people that are running the [TS]

00:09:44   Democratic Party of kisses of Norwegian [TS]

00:09:47   foreign okay but she this is something [TS]

00:09:51   she's monitoring on a regular basis I [TS]

00:09:53   think so I think that she that she has [TS]

00:09:56   dropped it recently because she decided [TS]

00:09:57   she needed a new couch and so we've been [TS]

00:10:01   going to couch stores looking at couches [TS]

00:10:03   and I'm the same as you I've been saying [TS]

00:10:06   do not get a couch that's out of scale I [TS]

00:10:09   don't want a couch that looks like it's [TS]

00:10:12   full of dander and I'm not this isn't a [TS]

00:10:14   couch for me but I'm like I'm this is a [TS]

00:10:16   couch for you but I do not want you to [TS]

00:10:18   get the wrong couch so so that's really [TS]

00:10:21   embarrassing it's embarrassing to see [TS]

00:10:23   somebody with the wrong it's bad you [TS]

00:10:25   don't want to couch that you think you [TS]

00:10:28   might have said this already and I'm [TS]

00:10:29   spacing it but no what's your what's [TS]

00:10:31   your daughter's feeling I can't what [TS]

00:10:32   does she want I mean has she been I met [TS]

00:10:38   a space this but has she been asking for [TS]

00:10:39   a cat a lot no fortunately for me here [TS]

00:10:44   are the things that that I used to be [TS]

00:10:47   afraid of that have not come to pass [TS]

00:10:49   okay she has never pestered about a pet [TS]

00:10:54   she said periodically the [TS]

00:10:57   she wants a pet but she drops it [TS]

00:11:01   immediately but she doesn't have a mood [TS]

00:11:03   board of all the same breed of cat and [TS]

00:11:05   she cries that she doesn't have one no [TS]

00:11:07   she doesn't want a pony she doesn't want [TS]

00:11:09   a dog she's just fine with not having a [TS]

00:11:13   pet if someone brings up a pet she's not [TS]

00:11:16   she's not against it but never I get [TS]

00:11:21   pestered about a pet and I get past [TS]

00:11:23   heard about a lot of things I get [TS]

00:11:25   pestered about a little baby brother or [TS]

00:11:27   a little baby sister all the freaking [TS]

00:11:29   time oh no really really really really [TS]

00:11:32   once a sibling so like she thinks about [TS]

00:11:34   it which is by herself like it's a thing [TS]

00:11:36   and I keep saying like by the time the [TS]

00:11:39   sibling arrives you're gonna be like [TS]

00:11:40   nine yeah if I was able to manage it and [TS]

00:11:42   she's like baby sister baby brother it's [TS]

00:11:45   all she cares about and I think what she [TS]

00:11:47   thinks she's gonna get is a five year [TS]

00:11:49   old mm-hmm and I'm like no it would be a [TS]

00:11:53   B you'd have to do like you'd have them [TS]

00:11:55   we would press you into service my dear [TS]

00:11:57   oh yeah [TS]

00:11:59   but I think that she just has an inner [TS]

00:12:01   she wants one she wants to care for a [TS]

00:12:03   baby she she so I get past heard about [TS]

00:12:07   that but the other thing that I worried [TS]

00:12:10   about for years was screen time you know [TS]

00:12:13   we're all talking we're all told screen [TS]

00:12:15   times green times green time right oh [TS]

00:12:17   you got a limit there screen time [TS]

00:12:19   yeah and she has almost zero screen time [TS]

00:12:24   and never pesters she doesn't want a [TS]

00:12:28   gizmo she never is like I want to watch [TS]

00:12:32   TV she never says I mean she does like [TS]

00:12:34   to watch every once a while we have some [TS]

00:12:37   exercises that she does and if she is [TS]

00:12:39   doing them she wants to watch a video [TS]

00:12:41   okay but that's like physical fitness [TS]

00:12:45   exercises [TS]

00:12:46   yeah well physical therapy huh and we [TS]

00:12:50   have videos that she watches and they [TS]

00:12:53   are videos that she's watched for a long [TS]

00:12:55   time it's not like they're new ones she [TS]

00:12:56   doesn't want to what oh except recently [TS]

00:12:59   she has wanted to see she's wanted to [TS]

00:13:04   watch singing in the rain oh that's a [TS]

00:13:08   great move my daughter loves that movie [TS]

00:13:10   yeah so she wears the onesie it's a [TS]

00:13:12   great movie and she wants to watch tap [TS]

00:13:13   dancing and she wants to watch people [TS]

00:13:15   dancing in the rain one person in [TS]

00:13:17   particular [TS]

00:13:21   jinx gene Kelly that's right okay all [TS]

00:13:24   right she wants to watch Gene Kelly [TS]

00:13:26   dance in the rain mm-hmm [TS]

00:13:28   but she also you know she has these [TS]

00:13:30   videos that she watches but but there's [TS]

00:13:32   never been a moment where she has come [TS]

00:13:34   home and I and I know all of her [TS]

00:13:36   classmates all have a million things all [TS]

00:13:38   the little little characters and then [TS]

00:13:41   you know like lego movie and her best [TS]

00:13:45   friend [TS]

00:13:47   from the time she was two years old [TS]

00:13:49   was watching like three disney movies a [TS]

00:13:51   day and say yeah well that was that used [TS]

00:13:53   to be a bit of a thing where you just [TS]

00:13:56   put in Pinocchio every afternoon it's [TS]

00:13:58   just the thing you would do yeah well [TS]

00:14:00   and I think I think her little best pal [TS]

00:14:02   would watch Pinocchio and then either [TS]

00:14:04   watch it again or watch watch frozen [TS]

00:14:08   over and over and over and over no but [TS]

00:14:11   she just doesn't show any interest in it [TS]

00:14:15   she just never sting she never says why [TS]

00:14:19   don't I have a she never says why [TS]

00:14:21   doesn't daddy own the TV she never says [TS]

00:14:24   why don't I have my own iPad pod she [TS]

00:14:29   doesn't ever say I wish I could watch [TS]

00:14:31   frozen right now she just doesn't and so [TS]

00:14:35   this year my mom had an old iPhone and [TS]

00:14:40   she said what if I what if I cleaned the [TS]

00:14:43   iPhone and we just put like some videos [TS]

00:14:46   on it and we gave it to her for [TS]

00:14:48   Christmas and it was hers and I thought [TS]

00:14:52   about it you know initially I was like [TS]

00:14:54   that's a good idea mom but then I [TS]

00:14:55   thought about it I was like well she's [TS]

00:14:58   never asked for it right and we would be [TS]

00:15:01   it's not my position on Barbie where [TS]

00:15:04   it's like well if she really wants a [TS]

00:15:05   Barbie like I we can I'm open to that [TS]

00:15:08   but I'm also not gonna you know go out [TS]

00:15:10   of my way to make it an option that [TS]

00:15:12   she's aware of yeah why take it and be [TS]

00:15:14   like here's a vice you didn't know about [TS]

00:15:16   it's just sort of it's like it's like [TS]

00:15:19   saying you know we're gonna get her this [TS]

00:15:21   year Pacus [TS]

00:15:22   yeah I mean who knows she might like it [TS]

00:15:24   yeah well you know she won't know until [TS]

00:15:27   she tried yes um so I don't get pastured [TS]

00:15:32   about the about things that I worried [TS]

00:15:34   about getting pestered about I don't [TS]

00:15:35   really have a good answer for why she [TS]

00:15:38   doesn't have a little brother or a [TS]

00:15:39   little sister I don't have I don't have [TS]

00:15:42   a good answer for why mommy and daddy [TS]

00:15:44   aren't married really yeah I mean not I [TS]

00:15:48   mean I haven't I have plenty of answers [TS]

00:15:50   but not an answer that satisfies her [TS]

00:15:53   okay because she's like hmm I'm [TS]

00:15:56   listening to all of your I'm listening [TS]

00:15:58   to your thoughts and reasons but I still [TS]

00:16:01   don't see a reason to you know that's [TS]

00:16:04   better than why don't you guys just get [TS]

00:16:06   married like okay I hear all your things [TS]

00:16:09   but none of that seems to preclude you [TS]

00:16:10   getting married okay and I'm like hmm [TS]

00:16:12   well I guess you know in a way you're [TS]

00:16:14   you're right there isn't anything [TS]

00:16:15   keeping mommy and daddy from getting [TS]

00:16:17   married except for daddy [TS]

00:16:19   well this episode of Roderick on the [TS]

00:16:25   line is brought to you by Squarespace [TS]

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00:18:20   24 by 7 so go out and make it they're [TS]

00:18:23   encouraging people to go out and make it [TS]

00:18:24   you make it yourself [TS]

00:18:25   you create a website by yourself with [TS]

00:18:27   Squarespace well I mean technically it's [TS]

00:18:29   with the UN Squarespace but you know [TS]

00:18:30   they're there to help you out with that [TS]

00:18:32   you know and this is that time of year [TS]

00:18:34   you know what I want to be sure to [TS]

00:18:36   mention and I I can't promise you [TS]

00:18:38   Squarespace is perfect for everybody [TS]

00:18:40   maybe you got some kind of dingaling [TS]

00:18:41   website you're really happy with but I [TS]

00:18:43   can pretty much guarantee you there is [TS]

00:18:44   someone in your life somewhere you have [TS]

00:18:46   friends you have family you have people [TS]

00:18:48   it at the different groups you're [TS]

00:18:50   involved with and maybe you're a Wiccan [TS]

00:18:52   I don't know but somebody out there [TS]

00:18:54   needs a website and you do not want to [TS]

00:18:55   be the person who is making the Wiccan [TS]

00:18:57   website you want someone a Squarespace [TS]

00:18:58   anybody can do it didn't have to be [TS]

00:18:59   Wiccan you know they seem like nice [TS]

00:19:02   people [TS]

00:19:02   you know you think it you dream it you [TS]

00:19:05   make it well Squarespace at [TS]

00:19:06   squarespace.com so go right now please [TS]

00:19:08   go to Squarespace calm for a free trial [TS]

00:19:10   and when you're ready to launch use the [TS]

00:19:12   very special offer code supertrain to [TS]

00:19:15   take 10% off your first purchase of a [TS]

00:19:18   website or domain our thanks to [TS]

00:19:21   Squarespace for supporting running on [TS]

00:19:23   the line and all the great shows we've [TS]

00:19:31   also established that ignoring daddy is [TS]

00:19:33   certainly one of the things that we do [TS]

00:19:35   in this family oh brother [TS]

00:19:36   so the I mean in some ways though it's [TS]

00:19:45   not so different from the cat thing [TS]

00:19:47   I pushed back on the cat thing for years [TS]

00:19:50   cuz you know I don't know I mean I was [TS]

00:19:52   acting like a real 50s dad where I was [TS]

00:19:54   like no like we're not gonna get this [TS]

00:19:56   thing because it's cute you can't even [TS]

00:19:58   keep track of your purple space pen like [TS]

00:19:59   we're not gonna just go get this thing [TS]

00:20:00   because it's cute like to think of this [TS]

00:20:02   more like adding a new member to the [TS]

00:20:04   family like you know and I unfortunately [TS]

00:20:07   for once in my entire life why don't I [TS]

00:20:09   have to be right about this it has been [TS]

00:20:11   very costly to have this animal it has [TS]

00:20:13   been a huge pain in the ass [TS]

00:20:14   we love the cat but it has been like we [TS]

00:20:17   we got sold a bill of goods on this cat [TS]

00:20:19   like she was sold to us as like oh you [TS]

00:20:22   know she's 6 or 7 and she's fine we just [TS]

00:20:24   had her checked out bullshit bullshit [TS]

00:20:29   bullshit we have we are I don't want to [TS]

00:20:33   tell you that we spent on this cat but [TS]

00:20:34   we've had four teeth removed that's just [TS]

00:20:35   one big cat has had an echocardiogram [TS]

00:20:40   she's had heart work done she's had a [TS]

00:20:43   lot done she we have to get her ears [TS]

00:20:45   though the joke scooped out of her ears [TS]

00:20:47   regularly your junk but I think um sir I [TS]

00:20:51   think it's some kind of cardiogram I'll [TS]

00:20:56   tell you these people bullshit and so [TS]

00:20:59   they oh yeah we had her checked out and [TS]

00:21:02   I'm like mmhmm yeah well you know the [TS]

00:21:03   vet that just gave us this four figure [TS]

00:21:05   bill a month after we got it would make [TS]

00:21:07   me think maybe she wasn't quite so [TS]

00:21:08   checked out six years old my ass this [TS]

00:21:12   cats easily ten just do anything really [TS]

00:21:14   yes [TS]

00:21:16   but you go up her we yes we'd saw I've [TS]

00:21:19   decided I love her the other two do love [TS]

00:21:21   her very very much I like her a lot no I [TS]

00:21:23   do I like she's fine but you know I [TS]

00:21:27   think when you go into that you have to [TS]

00:21:29   be prepared for the worst I hate to [TS]

00:21:30   sound like some kind of like you know [TS]

00:21:32   flyover state evangelical here but like [TS]

00:21:34   life is precious and God in the Bible [TS]

00:21:35   like you get the cat's get you know you [TS]

00:21:37   don't go to war with the rustle that [TS]

00:21:39   you'd like is this as the cat that you [TS]

00:21:40   get you don't get upset yeah and so then [TS]

00:21:43   you're absolutely this is part of our [TS]

00:21:44   family this is we do what we need to do [TS]

00:21:46   to take care of this we're giving this [TS]

00:21:47   cat a good life we took it away from its [TS]

00:21:48   lying owners that it had before and it [TS]

00:21:52   doesn't get beat up by the other mean [TS]

00:21:53   cat doesn't get it by me get beat up by [TS]

00:21:55   mean cat anymore so you're saying that [TS]

00:21:57   this cat is effectively like you bought [TS]

00:21:59   a muff [TS]

00:22:00   and the muff just sits and cost money [TS]

00:22:02   yes imagine you got look a very costly [TS]

00:22:05   muff that has to have teeth removed [TS]

00:22:06   every once in a while and then [TS]

00:22:08   occasionally just the 3:00 in the [TS]

00:22:09   morning for no reason it goes after 13 [TS]

00:22:17   times I've counted I think that that's [TS]

00:22:19   actually the signal that a nuclear war [TS]

00:22:22   is imminent [TS]

00:22:23   it's a CAC silent or nuclear nucular [TS]

00:22:28   killer but you joke I was a good class [TS]

00:22:32   good joke but she my daughter has a [TS]

00:22:35   National Geographic book she got all the [TS]

00:22:37   library at school about cats so now [TS]

00:22:39   she's schooling me on a lot of things [TS]

00:22:41   she says the reason that Savi grinds her [TS]

00:22:42   teeth is cuz she hangs has anxiety and [TS]

00:22:47   the reason that she's she's lonely at [TS]

00:22:49   night and she wants people to hang out [TS]

00:22:50   that's why she me I was at night she's [TS]

00:22:54   lonely yeah she's got a lot of a lot of [TS]

00:22:56   scientific reasons oh and she's also she [TS]

00:22:57   keeps rereading me the part about how [TS]

00:22:59   you introduce a second cat to the house [TS]

00:23:00   I said you know what I'm pretty good on [TS]

00:23:02   that pretty good yes I know optic [TS]

00:23:04   carrier it goes in the bathroom you [TS]

00:23:05   close the door you have to treat them [TS]

00:23:07   equitably that's all very interesting [TS]

00:23:10   stuff so she knows about dark dark Vador [TS]

00:23:12   but she's not begging for screen time [TS]

00:23:14   nope she does she's never seen a dark [TS]

00:23:16   Vador movie she just knows that dark [TS]

00:23:19   Vador is cool she's gonna be I mean like [TS]

00:23:23   my kid is pretty super deeply infused in [TS]

00:23:26   popular culture but like I see like like [TS]

00:23:29   today I was just not going went for the [TS]

00:23:31   ukulele share out today you know those [TS]

00:23:34   kids are doing their pokemon cards [TS]

00:23:36   everybody's wearing Minecraft sure it's [TS]

00:23:37   like she's got to be surrounded by kids [TS]

00:23:39   who are getting much more of that stuff [TS]

00:23:40   than she is I'm guessing she is saying [TS]

00:23:43   she doesn't feel left out it sounds like [TS]

00:23:45   well her perception is and I this is a [TS]

00:23:49   perception that she has derived from [TS]

00:23:50   from school entirely I have never [TS]

00:23:52   influenced this at all if in fact I've [TS]

00:23:56   worked to influence it in the opposite [TS]

00:23:57   direction but she feels like Pokemon and [TS]

00:24:00   minecraft and a lot of these sort of [TS]

00:24:05   consumer like games and toys that are [TS]

00:24:09   based on buying something or interacting [TS]

00:24:12   with the machine or in [TS]

00:24:14   other way collecting things that those [TS]

00:24:16   are boy games Oh interesting okay and [TS]

00:24:20   she's interested in like pokemons as a [TS]

00:24:23   concept yeah as I as like a character [TS]

00:24:26   that has a narrative but when you think [TS]

00:24:30   about it those things don't really have [TS]

00:24:31   a narrative there's not exactly a [TS]

00:24:33   Pokemon narrative it's just like collect [TS]

00:24:35   them all yeah they all have backstories [TS]

00:24:39   but it's not like there's a it's not [TS]

00:24:41   like they're participating in a story [TS]

00:24:43   and Minecraft is an extension of Legos [TS]

00:24:47   and she's only now fully getting into [TS]

00:24:51   Legos because before she would take the [TS]

00:24:54   Legos and only put them together at the [TS]

00:24:56   very minimum amount that she could start [TS]

00:25:00   constructing a narrative around it oh [TS]

00:25:02   that's oh she's super interesting yeah [TS]

00:25:04   she put three Legos together and she'd [TS]

00:25:06   be like this is the house and then she'd [TS]

00:25:10   put another Lego on top of another Lego [TS]

00:25:12   and she'd say this is the car Wow [TS]

00:25:15   and I was like well hey why don't we [TS]

00:25:17   build you know like we could actually [TS]

00:25:19   build a house that has rooms and she's [TS]

00:25:20   like I don't think you heard me this is [TS]

00:25:23   the house and I'm like I cannot [TS]

00:25:25   interrupt you you know like by all means [TS]

00:25:27   so only now is she starting to actually [TS]

00:25:30   build structures where she's like this [TS]

00:25:32   is the garage and this is the bedroom [TS]

00:25:33   and so forth and so minecraft isn't a [TS]

00:25:38   thing that she has sought because like [TS]

00:25:41   Legos themselves are still just part of [TS]

00:25:43   like her building a narrative and so for [TS]

00:25:48   her the only interesting toys and and [TS]

00:25:52   like things are ones that she can adopt [TS]

00:25:57   or she can either adopt into a narrative [TS]

00:25:59   that she's constructing or she can build [TS]

00:26:01   a narrative around them right and little [TS]

00:26:04   things and gizmos and I think she I [TS]

00:26:06   think movies even for her and this is [TS]

00:26:10   you know honestly this is how my mind [TS]

00:26:12   works too like consuming media has [TS]

00:26:16   always been a problem for me based on I [TS]

00:26:19   think the idea of like well why would I [TS]

00:26:21   want to watch somebody else's [TS]

00:26:22   imagination bland yeah that makes sense [TS]

00:26:24   you know why wouldn't I just follow my [TS]

00:26:27   own imagine [TS]

00:26:27   I can make a movie in my head why would [TS]

00:26:29   I want to go watch somebody else's money [TS]

00:26:31   absolutely and so her I think she's [TS]

00:26:33   doing I mean you know she's pretty much [TS]

00:26:35   like you know because now she's at an [TS]

00:26:38   age where I can say well if she comes [TS]

00:26:40   out and she's like and I can say you [TS]

00:26:45   know what here's an idea why don't we go [TS]

00:26:47   to our rooms mm-hmm I'll go to my room [TS]

00:26:50   and you're gonna go to your room and you [TS]

00:26:51   can play and I'll play and then later on [TS]

00:26:54   we'll come play cuz the way she wants to [TS]

00:26:56   play with me is she wants to play confu [TS]

00:26:58   which is conf you is jump on daddy and [TS]

00:27:01   try to kick him in the balls [TS]

00:27:03   okay okay that's the that's that's [TS]

00:27:05   outcome that's how conflict food works [TS]

00:27:07   and so daddy doesn't always want to play [TS]

00:27:09   conflict [TS]

00:27:10   no cuz daddy gets injured in confu and [TS]

00:27:13   you know Jen she's six and a half I [TS]

00:27:15   can't really fight back yeah you know so [TS]

00:27:20   I just get beat up uh so but uh all by [TS]

00:27:24   way of saying everything that she's [TS]

00:27:26   interested in is narrative play and [TS]

00:27:28   there's not a ton of not even the ton of [TS]

00:27:31   like what I used to play which was like [TS]

00:27:33   war like mine area narrative play with [TS]

00:27:36   other kids was always like you are the [TS]

00:27:38   bad guys and I am the good guy or vice [TS]

00:27:41   versa [TS]

00:27:47   does she have allies that will play like [TS]

00:27:50   that at school with her yeah but it's a [TS]

00:27:54   constant you know it's a constant thing [TS]

00:27:57   where I think the other little girls [TS]

00:28:00   also feel like they don't want Marlo to [TS]

00:28:03   just establish what the narration is oh [TS]

00:28:06   that's that's so that's a constant [TS]

00:28:08   battle I mean that's really the basis of [TS]

00:28:10   what makes place so interesting as an [TS]

00:28:11   observer is how much negotiation is [TS]

00:28:13   going on about what the terms of this [TS]

00:28:15   play are yep yep and her little friends [TS]

00:28:19   sometimes become you know she's got a [TS]

00:28:22   little group where she says well my [TS]

00:28:24   friends are Adan ate and ate and ate but [TS]

00:28:27   Hayden is not my friend and I go why is [TS]

00:28:30   Aiden not your friend well because Aiden [TS]

00:28:32   is mean but then two days later she's [TS]

00:28:34   like well I was playing with Aiden and [TS]

00:28:36   I'm like oh you're friends with Aiden [TS]

00:28:37   now Oh [TS]

00:28:38   Aiden's the best oh yeah [TS]

00:28:40   those alliances shift very quickly they [TS]

00:28:43   do and I think that I think it's a lot [TS]

00:28:45   to do with who is currently resisting [TS]

00:28:48   her like implementation of a narrative [TS]

00:28:52   and who is currently like yeah okay I'll [TS]

00:28:55   be the I'll be the fireman and you be [TS]

00:28:57   the dog uh but she's got she's got you [TS]

00:29:02   know her little boyfriend is Graham okay [TS]

00:29:05   so yeah and she says Graham is her [TS]

00:29:08   boyfriend and I really approve because I [TS]

00:29:13   think Graham is beautiful I think he's [TS]

00:29:15   beautiful I think he's a beautiful boy [TS]

00:29:17   he's beautiful looking and he's [TS]

00:29:18   beautiful he's just wonderful inside [TS]

00:29:20   he's a very sensitive young person who [TS]

00:29:24   has a lot of connection to his feelings [TS]

00:29:26   oh that's a nice influence it's nice the [TS]

00:29:30   first time I met him it was in a group [TS]

00:29:32   of little boys and I was going around [TS]

00:29:34   and I was like okay you're eight and [TS]

00:29:36   then you're aid great and then it came [TS]

00:29:39   to Graham and he held out his hand and [TS]

00:29:42   some little boy in the group said call [TS]

00:29:45   him graham cracker hmm and Graham looked [TS]

00:29:49   me in the eye and he said please don't [TS]

00:29:51   call me graham cracker [TS]

00:29:55   I said Graham you are guaranteed that I [TS]

00:29:58   will never ever ever call you graham [TS]

00:30:00   cracker and he was like mm-hmm and so he [TS]

00:30:03   and she decided a long time ago that [TS]

00:30:07   they were boyfriend and girlfriend and [TS]

00:30:08   they both agreed to it and it does not [TS]

00:30:12   seem to have that doesn't seem to change [TS]

00:30:14   it that Alliance never breaks and she [TS]

00:30:18   will say things like well you know [TS]

00:30:21   Graham does like to play pokemon and war [TS]

00:30:26   and that's fine but Graham is Superman [TS]

00:30:30   and I am Supergirl when it's time to [TS]

00:30:33   play superheroes and I just so she said [TS]

00:30:37   we already reached the level of somebody [TS]

00:30:39   who's been married for 15 years she's [TS]

00:30:41   reached a level of accommodation like as [TS]

00:30:43   long as he's still going to be Superman [TS]

00:30:44   to me he can go out run off and do his [TS]

00:30:46   war right and he will occasionally and I [TS]

00:30:50   get the feeling maybe a little bit [TS]

00:30:51   against his will but he [TS]

00:30:53   accommodates her by sometimes being the [TS]

00:30:56   dad or the dog or whatever she decides [TS]

00:30:59   he is in her own narration and what's [TS]

00:31:05   the martial arts thing you to do they [TS]

00:31:07   don't do contraband sir okay good good [TS]

00:31:09   but I don't get the sense that any of [TS]

00:31:12   the Ayden's will are interested at all [TS]

00:31:16   in her narrative play you know if if [TS]

00:31:18   she's like you're the dog they say I'm [TS]

00:31:21   the dark Vador dog hmm and she's like [TS]

00:31:24   that's not what I'm that's not the game [TS]

00:31:26   and they're like see ya uh-huh and they [TS]

00:31:29   swing off on their little boy vines and [TS]

00:31:31   and kick each other so anyway I so I [TS]

00:31:35   feel like you know like when she's when [TS]

00:31:38   she's 30 I hope she still I hope gram is [TS]

00:31:41   still around because I think he's great [TS]

00:31:43   and I think I like Graham's parents see [TS]

00:31:47   that we talked about this a few episodes [TS]

00:31:48   ago probably back in November but I'm [TS]

00:31:52   often wanting to set things up where I'm [TS]

00:31:54   really hoping like boy with her she [TS]

00:31:56   seems pretty cool that's a pretty cool [TS]

00:31:58   little kid she looks in the eye and [TS]

00:31:59   shakes your hand huh uh-huh uh-huh and [TS]

00:32:01   sometimes you try and force that in [TS]

00:32:03   there and they're like not really into [TS]

00:32:05   it get it on the wrong day yeah mm-hmm [TS]

00:32:09   yeah [TS]

00:32:10   the one thing currently because we just [TS]

00:32:13   went to play yesterday at someone's [TS]

00:32:16   house she'd never played that before and [TS]

00:32:18   I said she said I made a new friend and [TS]

00:32:22   I said oh who's your new friend and it [TS]

00:32:24   was like Aiden except Aidan's all the [TS]

00:32:28   way down it's aaden's all the way down [TS]

00:32:30   and this is girl late okay I said oh [TS]

00:32:32   where did you meet her and she said oh [TS]

00:32:35   she's in my class and I said what do you [TS]

00:32:37   mean you made a new friend there's only [TS]

00:32:39   20 people in your class didn't you play [TS]

00:32:42   with us and she said no I never really [TS]

00:32:46   played with her and my daughter still [TS]

00:32:49   doesn't know the name of everybody in [TS]

00:32:50   her class yeah isn't that crazy I [TS]

00:32:53   thought it was just heard like I mean I [TS]

00:32:55   know I'm bad with names but damn when I [TS]

00:32:57   was 10 I knew everybody I knew the name [TS]

00:32:59   of every person in my grade well I feel [TS]

00:33:02   like I know every kid in her class [TS]

00:33:04   yeah but she's like no I never just and [TS]

00:33:07   I said and so I'm curious about [TS]

00:33:08   alliances and I said well who are [TS]

00:33:12   Aidan's friends and she said oh she kind [TS]

00:33:15   of plays with Aiden and Aiden yeah but [TS]

00:33:18   not the other Aiden but not the other [TS]

00:33:20   Aiden and not with me and I said who are [TS]

00:33:23   the friends who cross the border and she [TS]

00:33:27   said oh well Mila but Mila plays with [TS]

00:33:30   everybody okay and and I swear to you I [TS]

00:33:32   love Mila too [TS]

00:33:34   I mean a compliment though Mila no no no [TS]

00:33:36   Mila is the ultimate peacemaking because [TS]

00:33:41   the thing is everybody wants to play [TS]

00:33:42   with Mila because she's fascinating so [TS]

00:33:44   she could be like a dog or a nurse or a [TS]

00:33:47   horse or a chair she could be whatever [TS]

00:33:49   whatever's needed for the play situation [TS]

00:33:51   whatever but she also is someone who if [TS]

00:33:54   she decides that she's gonna skip two [TS]

00:33:56   rings on the Rings huh she will do it [TS]

00:33:59   until her hands are bleeding oh I like [TS]

00:34:01   Mila she's fantastic and she's just like [TS]

00:34:04   and I like Milla's parents too but Mila [TS]

00:34:06   is one where if a kid is crying Mila [TS]

00:34:10   will go find out what's wrong and will [TS]

00:34:12   comfort the child and she'll skip rings [TS]

00:34:14   she's gonna skip to range is a utility [TS]

00:34:17   player Wow one and everybody uh you know [TS]

00:34:20   when Milla's trying to skip two rings [TS]

00:34:21   there's a crowd because they want to see [TS]

00:34:23   it they want to see it to open ocean [TS]

00:34:24   star situation but also lately Mila has [TS]

00:34:31   been experiencing some separation [TS]

00:34:34   anxiety when her mom leaves the school [TS]

00:34:36   in the morning oh no and I saw this [TS]

00:34:38   fantastic thing the other day which was [TS]

00:34:40   that it was time for me Ella's mom to [TS]

00:34:43   leave and you know Mia's mom does the [TS]

00:34:44   thing where she hangs around whereas you [TS]

00:34:46   know I would say the first time it [TS]

00:34:48   happened I'd be like well that's the way [TS]

00:34:50   the cookie crumbles but you know Milla's [TS]

00:34:53   mom is like how well I don't want to [TS]

00:34:54   leave either but so Mila was having a [TS]

00:34:57   little separation anxiety and all the [TS]

00:34:59   kids huddled around her and like petted [TS]

00:35:03   her hair and whispered to her and told [TS]

00:35:06   her it was fine and this is not a thing [TS]

00:35:09   that would have happened in my school [TS]

00:35:10   when I was a kid and they're just like [TS]

00:35:13   so caring of one another so that photo I [TS]

00:35:16   sent you at ukulele Shara [TS]

00:35:18   that's Ellie on the right that's a [TS]

00:35:20   friend of hers on our left who just got [TS]

00:35:21   over chicken pox supporter think she was [TS]

00:35:22   out for a week she's very much that kid [TS]

00:35:24   the girl in like a pinkish like [TS]

00:35:26   sweatshirt so yeah you know you [TS]

00:35:28   recognize Ellie on the right so that's a [TS]

00:35:30   really good friend of hers who's exactly [TS]

00:35:31   like that like she will not only it's [TS]

00:35:33   not like she walks up and goes are you [TS]

00:35:34   okay like she will walk up to a little [TS]

00:35:36   kid and speak quietly to the little kid [TS]

00:35:38   and I try to comfort and soothe the kid [TS]

00:35:41   on their own terms [TS]

00:35:43   she's a genuinely high quality child I [TS]

00:35:45   think that stuff is just lovely and and [TS]

00:35:48   it's right so we're we're at this plate [TS]

00:35:50   how many boys you know that do that well [TS]

00:35:52   you know I'm a graham cracker but yeah [TS]

00:35:55   grandma do it can we do it mm-hmm [TS]

00:35:58   but so we're at a playdate yesterday [TS]

00:36:00   with her new friend who's been in her [TS]

00:36:03   school for two years and is in her class [TS]

00:36:06   in the girl aid yeah yeah and I'm like [TS]

00:36:09   tell me more about her and she's like [TS]

00:36:10   well you know she's got little brother [TS]

00:36:13   and we had we drew rainbows and that we [TS]

00:36:17   drew rainbows and unicorns and I'm like [TS]

00:36:19   sweetie I don't you know like I don't [TS]

00:36:21   want to be the one to tell you but I [TS]

00:36:24   have to yeah that's a pig that's a [TS]

00:36:26   Pegasus and she said it's a unicorn and [TS]

00:36:29   I said sweetie it doesn't have a horn it [TS]

00:36:31   has wings and she said it's a unicorn [TS]

00:36:34   and I was like unicorn it is but I'm but [TS]

00:36:39   I'm not gonna budge on this baby that's [TS]

00:36:40   a Pegasus but I guess they talked about [TS]

00:36:43   unicorns a lot and they do not talk [TS]

00:36:45   about pegasi oh no no no no no you don't [TS]

00:36:49   you're not gonna hear about our chimera [TS]

00:36:50   or a Manticore and or any of that stuff [TS]

00:36:54   I feel like I'm gonna have to give her [TS]

00:36:57   the Monster Manual I gave her a book [TS]

00:37:00   about she's very into old stuff ancient [TS]

00:37:03   stuff I gave her and I thought it wasn't [TS]

00:37:04   a bull fynch's but i got her an [TS]

00:37:06   illustrated mythology book that I was [TS]

00:37:07   kind of hoping she'd get a bite on but [TS]

00:37:10   she hasn't been in yet I do that a lot I [TS]

00:37:13   sneak books in yes I have about 1 4 5 on [TS]

00:37:17   sneaking books in but I think we'd get [TS]

00:37:20   her too many books she reads a lot of [TS]

00:37:22   books but we probably get her too many [TS]

00:37:23   she does have stuff she doesn't read but [TS]

00:37:25   yeah I do try to sneak those in Lord of [TS]

00:37:28   the Rings took Hobbit took the [TS]

00:37:31   I still have not read either of those [TS]

00:37:32   books but they read it together they've [TS]

00:37:34   read every Harry Potter book together [TS]

00:37:35   she's read all a series of unfortunate [TS]

00:37:37   events yeah I kept trying just got [TS]

00:37:43   Beatrix Potter I kept trying to get into [TS]

00:37:45   her shelf and she just wasn't into it [TS]

00:37:48   but I did start reading her Rudyard [TS]

00:37:51   Kipling just so store really are this he [TS]

00:37:54   could well so I just changed the [TS]

00:37:57   problematic parts okay and the thing is [TS]

00:37:59   that she can read [TS]

00:38:01   so she's reading over my shoulder but [TS]

00:38:03   she doesn't correct me when I you know [TS]

00:38:07   when I take out the you know whatever he [TS]

00:38:09   had like his little stuff where he's [TS]

00:38:11   like and then the little jigaboo [TS]

00:38:16   guessing there are there are a couple of [TS]

00:38:20   stories which are just deeply [TS]

00:38:22   problematic from the beginning which are [TS]

00:38:24   his sort of white man's burden stories [TS]

00:38:27   [Music] [TS]

00:38:33   you're taking care of you yeah yeah he's [TS]

00:38:38   got he's got he's got a couple but I [TS]

00:38:40   grew up having those stories read to me [TS]

00:38:42   because as you know I was raised by [TS]

00:38:44   Victorians and so like the things that I [TS]

00:38:48   had all the all the books that were on [TS]

00:38:50   my shelves as a kid all had swastikas on [TS]

00:38:52   them because they were all they were all [TS]

00:38:55   published in 1895 the kind yeah that [TS]

00:39:09   conveyed it was an emblem that conveyed [TS]

00:39:10   exotic you know like Orientalism rather [TS]

00:39:14   than his pre pre nazi backward swastikas [TS]

00:39:18   but so I were I was read all that stuff [TS]

00:39:21   you know how the how the rhinoceros got [TS]

00:39:24   its plates and the cat that walked by [TS]

00:39:26   it's wild lone and and so I could not [TS]

00:39:31   not read those things to her I just have [TS]

00:39:34   to take out yeah it's just like taking [TS]

00:39:36   the the like the Belgian Congo issues of [TS]

00:39:41   Tintin out of the shelves [TS]

00:39:43   and anyone where Tintin interacts with [TS]

00:39:46   anyone from Asia [TS]

00:39:47   oh we just have to know the movie I've [TS]

00:39:50   never read the the comics we have all [TS]

00:39:53   the books when I was when I was a kid he [TS]

00:39:58   does that's in fact we have a we have a [TS]

00:40:00   giant poster on her wall of Tintin going [TS]

00:40:03   to the moon and but the but it's a copy [TS]

00:40:07   of the the the Belgian cover so it's in [TS]

00:40:11   French because when I was a kid I had [TS]

00:40:16   the Tintin books but they were all in [TS]

00:40:18   French and so I couldn't hand heads [TS]

00:40:23   tickets I couldn't because I inherited [TS]

00:40:29   them from my great uncle al who and we [TS]

00:40:34   and I called him a bird a bird yeah a [TS]

00:40:38   bird ever would sit me on his knee and [TS]

00:40:40   he would tell me stories of World War [TS]

00:40:42   one when I was little and a bird ever [TS]

00:40:47   was already an old man and so didn't [TS]

00:40:50   always know what the appropriate stories [TS]

00:40:53   to tell about World War one were but he [TS]

00:40:56   was yes you know a junior officer in the [TS]

00:41:00   American Expeditionary Force and he had [TS]

00:41:03   lots of tales of being in France and all [TS]

00:41:05   the can-can girls and then occasionally [TS]

00:41:07   he had to throw some grenades or they [TS]

00:41:19   came from India and and he had all the [TS]

00:41:24   Tintin books in that were from Belgium [TS]

00:41:27   that were all in French and I was given [TS]

00:41:30   access to them but but it was all like I [TS]

00:41:33   had to piece together the stories and we [TS]

00:41:38   give her the Tintin books in English but [TS]

00:41:41   we definitely call the ones that are [TS]

00:41:43   like Tintin goes to China and they're [TS]

00:41:45   all you know like little coolies that [TS]

00:41:49   are like oh it's just like no [TS]

00:41:52   yeah no I can't sorry but most of them [TS]

00:41:55   like she's going to the moon I mean [TS]

00:41:56   Captain Haddock is a drunk Oh in the [TS]

00:41:59   movie yeah he's he's real he's a real [TS]

00:42:02   dangerous character well and even in the [TS]

00:42:04   I mean even more so in the books he's [TS]

00:42:07   like always hiding liquor bottles in in [TS]

00:42:09   hollowed-out Bibles and stuff and when I [TS]

00:42:13   read the books to her you know I'm [TS]

00:42:17   always reading haddock is like in the [TS]

00:42:21   movie not surprised really yeah but how [TS]

00:42:25   do you how do you deal with like got a [TS]

00:42:29   plow through it and other times if it if [TS]

00:42:31   it's something that's really just gross [TS]

00:42:32   and unnecessarily unuseful ii unmerited [TS]

00:42:36   ly useful just racist bullshit you gotta [TS]

00:42:38   just cut it out but sometimes okay so [TS]

00:42:39   one of our goats used my wife whom we've [TS]

00:42:42   met it she is generally the reader at [TS]

00:42:45   night [TS]

00:42:46   I'm the reader at other times but when [TS]

00:42:49   we do read I probably should read to her [TS]

00:42:52   more at this time but that's that's [TS]

00:42:53   their time but um [TS]

00:42:55   I don't know how quite this started but [TS]

00:43:00   I was remembering stories from a a [TS]

00:43:02   child's humor book was Bennett's serfs [TS]

00:43:06   house of laughter it was just it was [TS]

00:43:09   edited by Bennett Cerf but it's just a [TS]

00:43:11   bunch of humor stories that include one [TS]

00:43:13   by James Thurber called the night the [TS]

00:43:14   bed fell and I ended up going to iBooks [TS]

00:43:17   and buying this giant collection of [TS]

00:43:20   Thurber short fiction and we've read all [TS]

00:43:22   of what's this buts I figure what the [TS]

00:43:25   name of it is but the ones all his [TS]

00:43:26   recollections of being a child and young [TS]

00:43:29   person in Columbus Ohio you've read the [TS]

00:43:31   night the bed fell no but like here's an [TS]

00:43:34   example of do you mind if I just read [TS]

00:43:35   you like you don't want to cut this [TS]

00:43:36   house it happened in that my father this [TS]

00:43:38   is the second paragraph of the story it [TS]

00:43:40   happened then that my father had decided [TS]

00:43:41   to sleep in the Attic one night and this [TS]

00:43:42   is how I read it [TS]

00:43:42   like very breezily I'm walking around [TS]

00:43:44   and reading it happened that my father [TS]

00:43:45   decided to sleep in the Attic one night [TS]

00:43:47   to be a way where he could think my [TS]

00:43:48   mother opposed the notion strongly [TS]

00:43:49   because she said the old wooden bed up [TS]

00:43:51   there was unsafe it was wobbly and the [TS]

00:43:53   heavy headboard would crash down on [TS]

00:43:54   father's head in case the bed fell and [TS]

00:43:55   kill him there was no aiding him however [TS]

00:43:57   and at a quarter past 10 he closed the [TS]

00:43:59   attic door behind him and went up the [TS]

00:44:01   narrow twisting stairs we later hurt [TS]

00:44:03   ominous creaking says he crawled into [TS]

00:44:04   bed grandpa [TS]

00:44:05   who usually slept in the attic bed when [TS]

00:44:07   he was with us had disappeared some days [TS]

00:44:08   before on these occasions he was usually [TS]

00:44:10   gone six or eight days and returned [TS]

00:44:11   growling and out of temper with the news [TS]

00:44:13   of the federal union was run by a passel [TS]

00:44:14   of Blockheads in that the Army of the [TS]

00:44:16   Potomac didn't have any more chance than [TS]

00:44:17   a Fiddler's bitch any more chance that a [TS]

00:44:26   Fiddler's bitch then he's right about [TS]

00:44:31   the Army of the Potomac oh he's a [TS]

00:44:33   character that keeps coming up [TS]

00:44:34   grandfather is I don't know what does [TS]

00:44:38   one say he's delusional and he thinks [TS]

00:44:43   it's still the war anyway these kinds of [TS]

00:44:46   things are so fun now there's one it's a [TS]

00:44:49   wonderful story but it's the one that I [TS]

00:44:52   have the most like I'm not so sure about [TS]

00:44:56   this I thought it's a call there's [TS]

00:44:57   someone with all the maids in it a [TS]

00:44:59   sequence of servants is very funny when [TS]

00:45:01   I look back on one list of servants my [TS]

00:45:02   mother hired during the years I lived at [TS]

00:45:04   home I remember clearly 10 or 12 of them [TS]

00:45:06   and it's all these as you know and he's [TS]

00:45:08   doing black maids in a black maid voice [TS]

00:45:11   and I struggle with how to do it because [TS]

00:45:14   and so I generally try to steer away [TS]

00:45:16   from this particular one but the one [TS]

00:45:18   about the flood the flood that never [TS]

00:45:20   happened when the dam broke but it [TS]

00:45:21   hadn't actually broken [TS]

00:45:22   it's just I'm sorry I'm know why I'm [TS]

00:45:24   going off I'm just sharing this I check [TS]

00:45:26   out James Thurber it's very funny one [TS]

00:45:28   kid because the language is so musical [TS]

00:45:30   and he's he's such a I don't know I just [TS]

00:45:32   love his style I I crave stuff like that [TS]

00:45:36   and I don't I feel like a lot of the a [TS]

00:45:40   lot of the material that's written for [TS]

00:45:42   kids today are kind of like the cartoons [TS]

00:45:44   no I'm not talking about like Adventure [TS]

00:45:47   Time but like the the mainstream [TS]

00:45:49   cartoons that are made that that seem [TS]

00:45:52   like mostly they're designed to sell [TS]

00:45:55   figures figurines I feel like there is a [TS]

00:45:59   decided lack of actual material in them [TS]

00:46:04   there's a lot of talking a lot of vast [TS]

00:46:06   talking and people are like oh my god [TS]

00:46:08   here she comes [TS]

00:46:09   what is she doing these are the story [TS]

00:46:12   beats are pretty simple and plain super [TS]

00:46:16   plain yeah but there's so much Noah [TS]

00:46:19   so much strim and wrong about like stuff [TS]

00:46:24   like gumball and Teen Titans go and [TS]

00:46:26   there's just screaming it's just a huge [TS]

00:46:29   part of every episode there's there's [TS]

00:46:30   lots of screaming yeah and and I have [TS]

00:46:34   always felt like look we want we want [TS]

00:46:36   stories not just not just characters [TS]

00:46:39   with unnaturally large heads and eyes [TS]

00:46:42   who are screaming at ease you know what [TS]

00:46:44   Bratz dolls I don't at all I don't love [TS]

00:46:47   anymore I don't [TS]

00:46:49   I do not prefer it I do not want the [TS]

00:46:51   Bratz dolls even to be in her mind [TS]

00:46:53   I know because like they're little [TS]

00:46:56   they're dolls for children that are [TS]

00:46:57   wearing garter belts yeah so so I do [TS]

00:47:01   keep coming back to these stories of old [TS]

00:47:05   wear you know but in the stories of old [TS]

00:47:08   like children's stories from when I was [TS]

00:47:10   growing up it's like and then the dog [TS]

00:47:13   died and the worms ate him it's like wow [TS]

00:47:17   that's I don't remember it being so hard [TS]

00:47:20   like so I remember crying it where the [TS]

00:47:22   Red Fern Grows era like watership down a [TS]

00:47:25   Old Yeller Yeller killed me there's a [TS]

00:47:29   lot of sad stories for little kids and [TS]

00:47:32   she I am I've never showed her Bambi [TS]

00:47:35   because she still covers her eyes when [TS]

00:47:38   people yell at each other I don't and [TS]

00:47:40   she's the thing is she's aware of Bambi [TS]

00:47:42   she's asked me what happened to Bambi's [TS]

00:47:45   mom yeah I'm like what happened to [TS]

00:47:48   Bambi's mom what are we where did this [TS]

00:47:50   come from and I feel like she's either [TS]

00:47:52   she's heard about Bambi's mom or maybe [TS]

00:47:56   she was at some friends house and she [TS]

00:47:57   saw some Bambi but she's like what [TS]

00:48:01   happened to Bambi's mom and I'm like uh [TS]

00:48:04   Bambi's mom died she's like how did [TS]

00:48:08   Bambi's mom died and I say mom died and [TS]

00:48:12   she died in a fire [TS]

00:48:15   sweetheart yeah it's pretty bad she was [TS]

00:48:18   a game deer and you know she didn't want [TS]

00:48:22   to watch Dumbo because there's so I said [TS]

00:48:25   the trunk coming through the oh that's [TS]

00:48:28   rough believe you me [TS]

00:48:31   so I'm and I often start to read a story [TS]

00:48:34   to her and then about 3/4 of the way [TS]

00:48:36   through I'm like oh no we've been [TS]

00:48:40   leading up to a tragedy that I had [TS]

00:48:42   forgotten and I'm bumbling along like up [TS]

00:48:45   but he died and then though then the [TS]

00:48:47   little bugs went into oh dear they went [TS]

00:48:50   into them to the furnace so but I want [TS]

00:48:58   you to tell me yeah I want you to give [TS]

00:49:00   me some advice I'm I she's very [TS]

00:49:03   interested in the Harry Potter universe [TS]

00:49:05   and I want to start reading her Harry [TS]

00:49:09   Potter's is that acceptable for a [TS]

00:49:12   seven-year-old and do I start at the [TS]

00:49:16   start the second part is absolutely just [TS]

00:49:19   because they it's much lighter they're [TS]

00:49:23   11 years old in the first one and it's [TS]

00:49:26   much it gets pretty heavy after the [TS]

00:49:29   release kind of but definitely starting [TS]

00:49:31   with the third book it gets the stakes [TS]

00:49:33   get a lot higher and it gets a lot [TS]

00:49:34   creepier and by the end it is it is well [TS]

00:49:36   and truly like very scary well I would [TS]

00:49:40   suggest I know you've read some did you [TS]

00:49:43   read it in the hold of a ship at some [TS]

00:49:44   point didn't you read some I read all of [TS]

00:49:46   the Harry Potter books that were extant [TS]

00:49:49   in 2008 a what I would say is for [TS]

00:49:54   yourself just go and get Philosopher's [TS]

00:49:56   get Sorcerer's Stone and read the first [TS]

00:50:00   chapter to to yourself and see what you [TS]

00:50:01   think about it but it's really quite [TS]

00:50:04   good and great to read with a kid I mean [TS]

00:50:07   I'm saying something that's so silly [TS]

00:50:08   it's like saying well I don't know you [TS]

00:50:09   think my look my curious kid who likes [TS]

00:50:11   to build things will like Legos I'm like [TS]

00:50:13   [Music] [TS]

00:50:15   it's a no it's really it's really I mean [TS]

00:50:18   it gets the plot it's that it gets [TS]

00:50:19   because it actually is really good and [TS]

00:50:22   funny and pretty great for a kid and [TS]

00:50:24   like I say this the world-building and [TS]

00:50:26   the first one is so fun it's you know [TS]

00:50:28   it's not a short book but like you'll [TS]

00:50:30   know by the end if she's gonna be into [TS]

00:50:31   this though actually you might know in [TS]

00:50:32   the first chapter by the time they get [TS]

00:50:34   to Hogwarts like the world-building is [TS]

00:50:36   pretty terrific I mean just just even [TS]

00:50:38   like getting to the train platform and [TS]

00:50:40   all that and Hagrid in London and all [TS]

00:50:42   that it's it's so fun [TS]

00:50:44   i I think my short advice is going you [TS]

00:50:48   personally maybe out loud to yourself [TS]

00:50:50   when no in his home start reading the [TS]

00:50:52   first chapter at CC if you like it but [TS]

00:50:54   also there's anything there that really [TS]

00:50:56   curls your hair [TS]

00:50:56   I think she's seven yeah [TS]

00:51:00   well six and a half six and [TS]

00:51:01   three-quarters you know it's up to [TS]

00:51:04   judgment but like I imagine you'd be [TS]

00:51:06   fine yeah I may be I worry about the [TS]

00:51:10   most is that when I was young you know I [TS]

00:51:13   was born on Friday the 13th oh boy and [TS]

00:51:16   when I was a kid [TS]

00:51:19   other kids ascribed to me magic [TS]

00:51:23   I was I was thought of as a little bit [TS]

00:51:29   of a like a kid sorcerer which I loved [TS]

00:51:34   mm-hmm and it wasn't a thing that I [TS]

00:51:37   encouraged it was like it was I was born [TS]

00:51:43   on Friday the 13th and then there's [TS]

00:51:46   something about me that seems like maybe [TS]

00:51:49   a kind of young magic user but as I grew [TS]

00:51:56   older I started to think of myself as [TS]

00:52:00   actually being some kind of magic orb I [TS]

00:52:04   thought about it all the time and it was [TS]

00:52:09   it was for sure I don't think it was a [TS]

00:52:14   problem but it did occupy a lot of my [TS]

00:52:17   imagination and there was always a tinge [TS]

00:52:20   of disappointment to it that I wasn't [TS]

00:52:23   actually magic that I couldn't actually [TS]

00:52:26   like create spooky action at a distance [TS]

00:52:30   doesn't land on you in one day it lists [TS]

00:52:33   begin I doubt still somehow some you're [TS]

00:52:37   weighing doubt versus hope that there is [TS]

00:52:39   still something here in my case that I [TS]

00:52:40   could like move something or like Rita [TS]

00:52:42   my and or something like that you're [TS]

00:52:43   still right like maybe is there evidence [TS]

00:52:46   to show the next car that comes along [TS]

00:52:47   will be blue like got that one right [TS]

00:52:51   like there's I might be better than I [TS]

00:52:53   realize and for sure it feels like a [TS]

00:52:56   thing Oh [TS]

00:52:57   maybe it's like puberty yes I'll just [TS]

00:53:00   with the x-men that's when mutants [TS]

00:53:02   mostly discovered their curse or ability [TS]

00:53:06   depending on how you look at it and yeah [TS]

00:53:09   and that's kind of I think maybe what my [TS]

00:53:11   what my feeling what when I was [TS]

00:53:15   introduced to x-men where there was a [TS]

00:53:17   little bit of bitterness about it where [TS]

00:53:18   I was like oh yeah great sure so you can [TS]

00:53:21   kill people with your cold hands but I [TS]

00:53:23   can't even conjure an orb which seems [TS]

00:53:25   like small so little yeah yeah I want to [TS]

00:53:30   kill anybody no I just want to like I [TS]

00:53:31   just want to make some firewood like [TS]

00:53:33   something round to appear where it [TS]

00:53:35   wasn't before is that too much to ask [TS]

00:53:37   hold out my hand I would sit and do it [TS]

00:53:39   hold out my hand bro come on come on out [TS]

00:53:47   there like imagine in this area between [TS]

00:53:50   my two hands like this this is where [TS]

00:53:52   will appear I can almost feel it little [TS]

00:53:55   fucking orb is all I'm asking all I'm [TS]

00:53:56   asking hmm and so I don't know if I want [TS]

00:53:59   to introduce to her the idea that there [TS]

00:54:00   are magic kids and non magic kids and [TS]

00:54:03   the non magic kids are sucky like [TS]

00:54:07   muggles and the magic kids are magic and [TS]

00:54:11   they can fly on brooms and they can [TS]

00:54:13   conjure orbs because it's just because I [TS]

00:54:16   remember feeling disappointment about it [TS]

00:54:18   and that wasn't even that wasn't even we [TS]

00:54:20   didn't even have a Harry Potter I was [TS]

00:54:22   just making that disappointment up in my [TS]

00:54:24   own head because by the 13th me there's [TS]

00:54:27   so many ugly ugly racist terms in Harry [TS]

00:54:31   Potter you you know my blood you know [TS]

00:54:33   one that's awful is if you're if you're [TS]

00:54:34   the child well you could be a grown-up [TS]

00:54:36   now but you're at least one or possibly [TS]

00:54:38   both of your parents [TS]

00:54:40   we're wizards but you're not you know [TS]

00:54:42   you should called Oh No squib oh it's [TS]

00:54:47   not sad you can have wizard parents and [TS]

00:54:50   not inherit wizard ISM yeah well so like [TS]

00:54:53   in the case of Harry both of his parents [TS]

00:54:55   were wizards both Harry and Laura was [TS]

00:54:59   his father's name but lily and don't [TS]

00:55:02   email me but they were both I think his [TS]

00:55:04   name is Scott I think it's father's name [TS]

00:55:05   is Scott anyway uh both of Harry's [TS]

00:55:07   parents were difficult drive me crazy [TS]

00:55:09   now we're wizards her mayan [TS]

00:55:12   only one of her parents was a wizard so [TS]

00:55:15   she's called a mudblood James James [TS]

00:55:17   Potter cut that out James and James and [TS]

00:55:20   Lily Potter and then so mudblood is what [TS]

00:55:23   is what a terrible slithering kid what's [TS]

00:55:26   his name Draco Malfoy but then you got [TS]

00:55:28   somebody get these characters you got [TS]

00:55:29   like Filch like the guy who like works [TS]

00:55:31   that wonderful British actor who plays [TS]

00:55:34   like the the character janitor at [TS]

00:55:35   Hogwarts he's a squid hmm [TS]

00:55:38   squid a squid you can still be in the [TS]

00:55:40   community but I was like squid these are [TS]

00:55:43   tough words Argus Filch known as he's [TS]

00:55:45   known as a squib mmm-hmm these are tough [TS]

00:55:47   tough words I mean I this is what I [TS]

00:55:49   worry about like I don't want to [TS]

00:55:51   introduce all these like all this social [TS]

00:55:55   hierarchy because she's developing yes [TS]

00:55:57   social hierarchy on her own and I don't [TS]

00:56:00   need it I don't need her to suddenly say [TS]

00:56:02   that Nino is a squid mudblood yeah I [TS]

00:56:05   totally agree I totally agree so I don't [TS]

00:56:07   know it's tricky yeah I feel like you [TS]

00:56:11   probably could wait another year but you [TS]

00:56:13   know she's probably a little young but [TS]

00:56:16   as long as you don't jump straight into [TS]

00:56:17   like third fourth book that's when it [TS]

00:56:19   gets creepy well and so what about The [TS]

00:56:21   Hobbit I'm trying to remember there's a [TS]

00:56:22   lot of scary shit there's the ogres [TS]

00:56:24   there's the nazg├╗l you know I haven't [TS]

00:56:26   read it they read it so they read it [TS]

00:56:29   before Lord of the Rings I don't [TS]

00:56:31   remember [TS]

00:56:32   o wadar they're known as ghouls or nas [TS]

00:56:35   ghouls or whatever they'll I know are [TS]

00:56:38   they in The Hobbit or do they just [TS]

00:56:39   appear in The Lord of the Rings there's [TS]

00:56:42   a drag and there's there's Tom Bombadil [TS]

00:56:59   Tom in the movies there's people that [TS]

00:57:03   theories Bombadil I have a lot of [TS]

00:57:06   theories about him I think it's a I [TS]

00:57:08   think it's a freakin crime that he's not [TS]

00:57:09   in the movies he's bad one [TS]

00:57:12   I think he's the oldest okay I think [TS]

00:57:15   he's like the oldest one [TS]

00:57:16   oh he's pre ring I think so I think he's [TS]

00:57:20   I think he's uh I think he's like he's [TS]

00:57:22   super [TS]

00:57:23   I learned that Wizards or angels I [TS]

00:57:25   learned that from a video I don't that's [TS]

00:57:28   not true you should watch CGP Grey has [TS]

00:57:30   some very good videos about the Lord of [TS]

00:57:32   the Rings mythos and it gave me a nice [TS]

00:57:34   cheat sheet so that I could talk to my [TS]

00:57:35   family now it's not like a total idiot I [TS]

00:57:37   don't think that they're angels I reject [TS]

00:57:39   that no is ring wraiths the nine the [TS]

00:57:42   phone rings black riders none bold or [TS]

00:57:45   Laurie the dreaded ring servant so so [TS]

00:57:49   these are a lot like these are like who [TS]

00:57:53   the guys who who guard Azkaban the [TS]

00:57:58   Dementors they're a little like [TS]

00:58:00   Dementors i don't know what that is you [TS]

00:58:02   will what yeah you're gonna love this [TS]

00:58:06   yeah but they're a matter race they were [TS]

00:58:08   king they were kings of men who were [TS]

00:58:15   blinded by the greed took without [TS]

00:58:17   clothes right and then Sauron got inside [TS]

00:58:19   their heads oh and we don't like look at [TS]

00:58:22   him now Aragorn aragorn's not the guy [TS]

00:58:24   from the matrix right that's no Aragorn [TS]

00:58:27   Strider is Aragorn the guy that was [TS]

00:58:29   married to Exene that goes if Viggo [TS]

00:58:33   Mortensen is a who that is I don't [TS]

00:58:35   accept that either I don't think there's [TS]

00:58:38   part of the mythos yeah we used to be [TS]

00:58:40   married Exene Cervenka steagle morton so [TS]

00:58:43   he did yeah they were married until like [TS]

00:58:45   relatively recently post John I know [TS]

00:58:49   right [TS]

00:58:50   Hugo Weaving is the guy from the matrix [TS]

00:58:52   who plays an elfin man in this yep yep [TS]

00:58:55   yep and I and I do support his name I [TS]

00:58:58   don't know yeah miss Trudy mr. Anderson [TS]

00:59:03   that's right yeah I suppose but I do not [TS]

00:59:07   support I do not support the the [TS]

00:59:10   daughter of the of the Aerosmith oh I [TS]

00:59:14   know who you mean it's yeah yeah it's a [TS]

00:59:17   Tyler since her name yeah I think new [TS]

00:59:20   tires done I think Renee makes eilerson [TS]

00:59:21   I think she's a nice lady I like this I [TS]

00:59:23   like to see her but I do not believe [TS]

00:59:25   that she should that was a shoes roll [TS]

00:59:27   deflated ooh she was very good in that [TS]

00:59:29   thing you do I didn't see them oh that's [TS]

00:59:32   a good movie now what about Kate [TS]

00:59:33   Blanchet you like her I do like clay [TS]

00:59:36   Caitlin's [TS]

00:59:37   getting that Thor movie - I want to see [TS]

00:59:40   a whole movie about her like super super [TS]

00:59:46   fucking scary cool elf lady I'd like to [TS]

00:59:50   see her and who's the lady from Orlando [TS]

00:59:53   that's in the train movie what's that [TS]

00:59:55   woman's name what's her name [TS]