Roderick on the Line

01:00:00 ◼   ► being in the manger and the little [TS]

01:00:01 ◼   ► drummer boy and all this spook yeah and [TS]

01:00:04 ◼   ► the permission to acknowledge holidays [TS]

01:00:08 ◼   ► and generate season in general but [TS]

01:00:10 ◼   ► Christmas in particular the permission [TS]

01:00:11 ◼   ► to acknowledge that as something that [TS]

01:00:14 ◼   ► could be as far as depressing but could [TS]

01:00:17 ◼   ► very much at least be anxious and as you [TS]

01:00:20 ◼   ► say spooky I mean you know I'm sure that [TS]

01:00:22 ◼   ► existed before Charlie Brown Christmas [TS]

01:00:24 ◼   ► but I still feel like even in the 70s it [TS]

01:00:27 ◼   ► wasn't something where you were like it [TS]

01:00:30 ◼   ► was not encouraged for you to go like oh [TS]

01:00:31 ◼   ► this is kind of a weirdly reflective [TS]

01:00:33 ◼   ► time when I think about loss or I think [TS]

01:00:35 ◼   ► about you know what I mean even even [TS]

01:00:37 ◼   ► though there's so much to the whole [TS]

01:00:38 ◼   ► Christmas story that's really like whoa [TS]

01:00:40 ◼   ► like yeah odd about a wedlock birth and [TS]

01:00:43 ◼   ► they got to sleep in a barn and like and [TS]

01:00:45 ◼   ► it's weird what do you do with myrrh [TS]

01:00:47 ◼   ► anyway and there's just a lot about it [TS]

01:00:49 ◼   ► that's very lonesome it is lonesome and [TS]

01:00:53 ◼   ► in the 70s in particular it was still [TS]

01:00:56 ◼   ► very very much a thing where not only [TS]

01:00:59 ◼   ► all three of the television stations but [TS]

01:01:02 ◼   ► also public television and also all [TS]

01:01:05 ◼   ► media everywhere plus all government [TS]

01:01:08 ◼   ► buildings it was it was generally [TS]

01:01:11 ◼   ► accepted that it then everybody was like [TS]

01:01:14 ◼   ► oh we didn't have as many funny songs [TS]

01:01:22 ◼   ► this is before a wonderful christmastime [TS]

01:01:25 ◼   ► you take like before the lady didn't [TS]

01:01:27 ◼   ► have father Christmas and you might have [TS]

01:01:29 ◼   ► had you had like Rudolph the red-nosed [TS]

01:01:31 ◼   ► reindeer [TS]

01:01:32 ◼   ► you had the bench boys you had the [TS]

01:01:34 ◼   ► Jackson 5 apart from that it was there [TS]

01:01:35 ◼   ► were more like hymns it was more like it [TS]

01:01:37 ◼   ► was much more dolorous it was Lawson's [TS]

01:01:40 ◼   ► but when you think about those holidays [TS]

01:01:42 ◼   ► the religious ones in particular Eastern [TS]

01:01:45 ◼   ► and and Christmas but also Halloween [TS]

01:01:49 ◼   ► they are the only times of the year when [TS]

01:01:52 ◼   ► everybody all the adults - were [TS]

01:01:55 ◼   ► acknowledging that there was a [TS]

01:01:56 ◼   ► supernatural world the only times of the [TS]

01:02:00 ◼   ► year where grown-ups would say well you [TS]

01:02:03 ◼   ► know in the middle of the night spooky [TS]

01:02:08 ◼   ► things happen people who are [TS]

01:02:11 ◼   ► dead rise and people uh you know and you [TS]

01:02:16 ◼   ► can follow a star and it will carry you [TS]

01:02:20 ◼   ► around the world to find him [TS]

01:02:21 ◼   ► like a poor baby who's living with some [TS]

01:02:26 ◼   ► there might be a poor baby somewhere [TS]

01:02:29 ◼   ► that I should say has anyone seems [TS]

01:02:30 ◼   ► really poor baby baby and then it's like [TS]

01:02:33 ◼   ► but that baby is actually God was making [TS]

01:02:37 ◼   ► himself a poor baby just fuck with [TS]

01:02:40 ◼   ► everybody mine to see to see if you'll [TS]

01:02:43 ◼   ► let him sleep in that in the hotel but [TS]

01:02:45 ◼   ► if you don't know in a Disney film yeah [TS]

01:02:48 ◼   ► right right [TS]

01:02:50 ◼   ► secret God that you you better be nice [TS]

01:02:54 ◼   ► to all the poor babies that's right one [TS]

01:02:57 ◼   ► of the maybe God know you would think [TS]

01:02:59 ◼   ► that poor baby God would destroy hotel [TS]

01:03:03 ◼   ► e'er that made him sleep in garage no no [TS]

01:03:05 ◼   ► no poor baby God forgives and all this [TS]

01:03:09 ◼   ► now if it's right for now Christmas to [TS]

01:03:12 ◼   ► the quickening when he comes back at the [TS]

01:03:25 ◼   ► fire and the Holy Ghost he's riding a [TS]

01:03:28 ◼   ► t-rex and then at Halloween of course [TS]

01:03:31 ◼   ► you're just like nothing a fucking [TS]

01:03:34 ◼   ► Headless Horseman is gonna baby ride so [TS]

01:03:36 ◼   ► anyway those are the three times a year [TS]

01:03:38 ◼   ► and we used to sit in the living room [TS]

01:03:40 ◼   ► and I was just like just totally spooked [TS]

01:03:41 ◼   ► like there's a tree full of flashing [TS]

01:03:43 ◼   ► fairies and there's like a poor baby [TS]

01:03:46 ◼   ► somewhere maybe still around and a [TS]

01:03:48 ◼   ► little boy is trying to sell matches but [TS]

01:03:50 ◼   ► he dies or no that's a little MatchGirl [TS]

01:03:53 ◼   ► unless it's a girl that dies of freezing [TS]

01:03:56 ◼   ► because no one will buy her matches who [TS]

01:03:58 ◼   ► ever bought a match yeah but this is the [TS]

01:04:01 ◼   ► thing if you see a little girl so who's [TS]

01:04:03 ◼   ► like the whole idea that there would be [TS]

01:04:05 ◼   ► a little girl alone on Christmas selling [TS]

01:04:07 ◼   ► matches to get enough money to buy heat [TS]

01:04:10 ◼   ► and she's dies yeah it was it was this [TS]

01:04:18 ◼   ► whole time of year where I was just like [TS]

01:04:19 ◼   ► I'm just you know just waiting for the [TS]

01:04:22 ◼   ► next story where it's like oh did you [TS]

01:04:24 ◼   ► hear about the [TS]

01:04:25 ◼   ► skeleton yeah yeah whose son that can't [TS]

01:04:28 ◼   ► walk died because he just didn't spend [TS]

01:04:31 ◼   ► enough money on your business oh sure [TS]

01:04:33 ◼   ► ghosts will sometimes come and take you [TS]

01:04:35 ◼   ► time travel [TS]

01:04:36 ◼   ► yes time travel ghosts yeah [TS]

01:04:39 ◼   ► time-traveling ghosts will also [TS]

01:04:40 ◼   ► sometimes come and show you how what a [TS]

01:04:43 ◼   ► fuck you are [TS]

01:04:44 ◼   ► yes so I don't know about any of those [TS]

01:04:49 ◼   ► traditions we don't have them anymore we [TS]

01:04:51 ◼   ► just have filbert's and Welsh rarebits [TS]

01:04:57 ◼   ► we also we like to give my wife [TS]

01:05:00 ◼   ► inappropriate things this started a long [TS]

01:05:03 ◼   ► time ago let's see what I'm trying to [TS]

01:05:06 ◼   ► give some of our dumb traditions we got [TS]

01:05:07 ◼   ► that like obvious the you know sort of [TS]

01:05:09 ◼   ► well-known traditions you're allowed to [TS]

01:05:11 ◼   ► open one small to medium-sized gift on [TS]

01:05:13 ◼   ► Christmas Eve that's something we my [TS]

01:05:16 ◼   ► sister instituted that I think that's a [TS]

01:05:18 ◼   ► good program [TS]

01:05:19 ◼   ► I like that program but no but that you [TS]

01:05:21 ◼   ► don't slide there's no like there's no [TS]

01:05:23 ◼   ► sliding on that there's also oh yes so [TS]

01:05:25 ◼   ► we always give my wife something [TS]

01:05:27 ◼   ► inappropriate in her stocking for years [TS]

01:05:30 ◼   ► it was an action figure of Chewbacca [TS]

01:05:32 ◼   ► like different like Star Wars figure or [TS]

01:05:35 ◼   ► we recently got a Rick from The Walking [TS]

01:05:36 ◼   ► Dead [TS]

01:05:37 ◼   ► oh we have another Walking Dead a [TS]

01:05:38 ◼   ► tradition which is we hang our Marlon [TS]

01:05:41 ◼   ► Brando Christmas ornament right next to [TS]

01:05:44 ◼   ► our oh geez what's his name Daryl the [TS]

01:05:48 ◼   ► guy with the crossbow and Daryl is [TS]

01:05:50 ◼   ► usually standing on an orange with this [TS]

01:05:52 ◼   ► crossbow pointed at the Godfather [TS]

01:05:53 ◼   ► it is Marlon Brando in The Walking Dead [TS]

01:05:57 ◼   ► I didn't know no no he's in The [TS]

01:05:58 ◼   ► Godfather but we have a Godfather we've [TS]

01:06:00 ◼   ► got a Godfather ornament from hallmark [TS]

01:06:01 ◼   ► and we have a Daryl from The Walking [TS]

01:06:03 ◼   ► Dead ornament full wall I see so then so [TS]

01:06:06 ◼   ► it's a little it's a trick that's [TS]

01:06:08 ◼   ► happening inside the tree it's kind of [TS]

01:06:10 ◼   ► like Christmas fan fiction it's the most [TS]

01:06:12 ◼   ► wonderful time of the year but the [TS]

01:06:13 ◼   ► orange this voice is coming from inside [TS]

01:06:15 ◼   ► the tree yeah like your daughter knows [TS]

01:06:16 ◼   ► about dark Vader like my daughter knows [TS]

01:06:18 ◼   ► about oranges in The Godfather you know [TS]

01:06:20 ◼   ► even though she's never seen it what [TS]

01:06:22 ◼   ► else do we do we usually make cinnamon [TS]

01:06:25 ◼   ► buns from a tube on Sunday morning well [TS]

01:06:29 ◼   ► sometimes take a walk Christmas walk I [TS]

01:06:33 ◼   ► think the thing is that it's it's my [TS]

01:06:35 ◼   ► favorite ones are the ones we almost [TS]

01:06:37 ◼   ► forget about until it's time [TS]

01:06:39 ◼   ► you know what I mean where it's not like [TS]

01:06:40 ◼   ► oh it's time to check out you know [TS]

01:06:42 ◼   ► grandpa's ashes and put lights on them [TS]

01:06:44 ◼   ► we don't have that big things like that [TS]

01:06:46 ◼   ► but I like the little dumb things that a [TS]

01:06:48 ◼   ► family gets you know it's so many [TS]

01:06:50 ◼   ► rituals and things that I would be too [TS]

01:06:51 ◼   ► silly to even mention on air but like [TS]

01:06:53 ◼   ► little things that you do that are just [TS]

01:06:54 ◼   ► like your little family thing that's [TS]

01:06:55 ◼   ► like that's my favorite thing when I was [TS]

01:06:58 ◼   ► in high school at a certain point I [TS]

01:07:01 ◼   ► found at the goodwill a plaid [TS]

01:07:05 ◼   ► three-piece suit a wool plaid [TS]

01:07:08 ◼   ► three-piece suit and it was a bright red [TS]

01:07:11 ◼   ► plaid Wow like I don't know who had that [TS]

01:07:15 ◼   ► suit made or when they thought they were [TS]

01:07:17 ◼   ► gonna wear it but it was a human pure [TS]

01:07:21 ◼   ► beautiful suit made out of what what I [TS]

01:07:24 ◼   ► can only imagine was like the kind of [TS]

01:07:26 ◼   ► wool you would use to make a kilt mm-hmm [TS]

01:07:30 ◼   ► but it was a three-piece suit and it fit [TS]

01:07:32 ◼   ► me when I was when I was a teenager so [TS]

01:07:36 ◼   ► we had a Christmas tradition where on [TS]

01:07:40 ◼   ► Christmas Eve day we would bake all day [TS]

01:07:44 ◼   ► cookies fudge cookies more cookies [TS]

01:07:47 ◼   ► different kinds of cookies and then we [TS]

01:07:49 ◼   ► would make two dozen plates of cookies [TS]

01:07:53 ◼   ► and then I would put on my plaid suit [TS]

01:07:55 ◼   ► and I would walk around the neighborhood [TS]

01:07:56 ◼   ► and I would give cookies to all the [TS]

01:07:57 ◼   ► neighbors that's so nice do you sing my [TS]

01:08:03 ◼   ► family is not a singing family and I [TS]

01:08:05 ◼   ► don't want to force it but I'm a singing [TS]

01:08:07 ◼   ► guy and if I would have so much more [TS]

01:08:11 ◼   ► singing in the family if I could get [TS]

01:08:13 ◼   ► them into it do you do much singing my [TS]

01:08:16 ◼   ► mom wants us to sing and she really [TS]

01:08:20 ◼   ► loves all the Methodist hymns and the [TS]

01:08:24 ◼   ► Methodist hymns that my mom loves are [TS]

01:08:26 ◼   ► again Dickensian they're all just like [TS]

01:08:36 ◼   ► Christmas skeleton arrived don't get [TS]

01:08:52 ◼   ► upset [TS]

01:08:52 ◼   ► that's right that's one of the great [TS]

01:08:54 ◼   ► method Methodist hymns yeah they're all [TS]

01:08:58 ◼   ► they're droney [TS]

01:09:00 ◼   ► and they're up there like obtuse and [TS]

01:09:03 ◼   ► they all are very holy holy holy and she [TS]

01:09:08 ◼   ► wants to hear them but she doesn't [TS]

01:09:11 ◼   ► herself sing and she and we have these [TS]

01:09:14 ◼   ► hymnals that she that she'll hand me and [TS]

01:09:18 ◼   ► be like you know come on lead us in you [TS]

01:09:21 ◼   ► know in the hymns [TS]

01:09:22 ◼   ► this should be your Welsh rarebit for [TS]

01:09:24 ◼   ► her but I don't know the hymns you [TS]

01:09:27 ◼   ► really quite can't you know no it [TS]

01:09:30 ◼   ► requires that you just sing along oh [TS]

01:09:33 ◼   ► that's not a bit of a spotify Methodist [TS]

01:09:36 ◼   ► hymn channel I'm sure they have that's [TS]

01:09:38 ◼   ► not a bad idea well so she used to just [TS]

01:09:41 ◼   ► kind of go toddle off to the Methodist [TS]

01:09:44 ◼   ► Church and listen to them sing the hymns [TS]

01:09:46 ◼   ► but you're right I should get this I [TS]

01:09:49 ◼   ► should go on my Sonos and just have [TS]

01:09:51 ◼   ► Methodist hymnals playing you couldn't [TS]

01:09:54 ◼   ► you know what this is the real talk this [TS]

01:09:56 ◼   ► is this is something you could do that [TS]

01:09:57 ◼   ► would not be very difficult and luckily [TS]

01:10:00 ◼   ► she won't hear this until the show comes [TS]

01:10:01 ◼   ► out and you'll already have done this [TS]

01:10:03 ◼   ► for her on Christmas Eve you should go [TS]

01:10:06 ◼   ► figure out what her favorite is and [TS]

01:10:08 ◼   ► learn it on piano and sing it for her [TS]

01:10:11 ◼   ► that is a wonderful idea except I think [TS]

01:10:13 ◼   ► these hymns all have like 350 uh weird [TS]

01:10:18 ◼   ► like medieval chords I'm not sure ride [TS]

01:10:21 ◼   ► I've never tried but you know I'm not [TS]

01:10:23 ◼   ► like four chords alright that's a good [TS]

01:10:29 ◼   ► idea [TS]

01:10:30 ◼   ► I went to my daughter my daughter has [TS]

01:10:31 ◼   ► been I don't like to talk about this [TS]

01:10:32 ◼   ► publicly my daughter has been taking [TS]

01:10:33 ◼   ► ukulele this term and today the I want [TS]

01:10:36 ◼   ► to you clearly share out so you can [TS]

01:10:38 ◼   ► assure you lately cher out and that's [TS]

01:10:40 ◼   ► when so you have cher out sometimes a [TS]

01:10:42 ◼   ► class will come and do something and she [TS]

01:10:44 ◼   ► and her class got up and played Rudolph [TS]

01:10:47 ◼   ► the red-nosed reindeer and sang it and [TS]

01:10:49 ◼   ► it was a perfect delight children [TS]

01:10:51 ◼   ► singing and terribly terribly playing [TS]

01:10:54 ◼   ► ukuleles was absolutely amazing it was [TS]

01:10:56 ◼   ► oh [TS]

01:10:57 ◼   ► music music gets into your brainstem I'm [TS]

01:11:00 ◼   ► saying I'm just saying you could fake [TS]

01:11:01 ◼   ► your way through it and she would [TS]

01:11:02 ◼   ► appreciate the effort it really does [TS]

01:11:06 ◼   ► he just went to our little girls [TS]

01:11:08 ◼   ► Christmas concert because she is in a [TS]

01:11:10 ◼   ► little girl's choir that she goes to all [TS]

01:11:13 ◼   ► year [TS]

01:11:13 ◼   ► little girl choirs but they have work on [TS]

01:11:15 ◼   ► her they work on a Christmas pageant and [TS]

01:11:18 ◼   ► it was so it was actually surprisingly [TS]

01:11:21 ◼   ► lovely to see this little girl choir in [TS]

01:11:25 ◼   ► which there are five little girls from [TS]

01:11:28 ◼   ► you know five little Asian girls two [TS]

01:11:31 ◼   ► little girls from Pakistan a couple of [TS]

01:11:34 ◼   ► African American girls and they're all [TS]

01:11:36 ◼   ► singing oh Hanukkah Wow and and they [TS]

01:11:41 ◼   ► love oh Hanukkah they get to you know [TS]

01:11:45 ◼   ► spin the dreidel they're all just loving [TS]

01:11:47 ◼   ► the song and they and Marlo asked me the [TS]

01:11:51 ◼   ► other day why don't we celebrate [TS]

01:11:53 ◼   ► Hanukkah and I said you know we can [TS]

01:11:56 ◼   ► celebrate Hanukkah if you if you like [TS]

01:11:58 ◼   ► Hanukkah is just as meaningful to us as [TS]

01:12:01 ◼   ► Christmas is really I mean it's not as [TS]

01:12:03 ◼   ► spooky but there still is some [TS]

01:12:05 ◼   ► spookiness like why do the lamps stay [TS]

01:12:09 ◼   ► lit that is really a small one to base a [TS]

01:12:28 ◼   ► holiday on it's yeah it's like fighting [TS]

01:12:33 ◼   ► a quarter in your couch or a pack of [TS]

01:12:34 ◼   ► cigarettes you forgot about its in its [TS]

01:12:37 ◼   ► way it was only one day's worth of oil [TS]

01:12:44 ◼   ► brand-building of the religion I mean [TS]

01:12:46 ◼   ► it's not quite like but they've already [TS]

01:12:48 ◼   ► got kind of a bad rap you know for being [TS]

01:12:51 ◼   ► a little bit tight with a buck and you [TS]

01:12:52 ◼   ► know being able to like just make the [TS]

01:12:53 ◼   ► oil last longer not a good look it's not [TS]

01:12:56 ◼   ► as it's certainly not as exciting as [TS]

01:12:58 ◼   ► like poor baby born in the garage you [TS]

01:13:06 ◼   ► know the problem is there's a lot of [TS]

01:13:07 ◼   ► pressure on Hanukkah Hanukkah is not a [TS]

01:13:09 ◼   ► major holiday in that face and it's not [TS]

01:13:13 ◼   ► compete with the the real banger of [TS]

01:13:14 ◼   ► Christmas it's rough it does and [TS]

01:13:18 ◼   ► Christmas is a banger but [TS]

01:13:19 ◼   ► you know they they they that's like a [TS]

01:13:22 ◼   ► holiday the kind of out does it cuz it's [TS]

01:13:24 ◼   ► like will you get a present every day [TS]

01:13:25 ◼   ► for like long days Kwanzaa is kind of [TS]

01:13:30 ◼   ► like Esperanto right isn't it's like a [TS]

01:13:33 ◼   ► good idea it started as a good idea and [TS]

01:13:35 ◼   ► then but it's got some nice concepts to [TS]

01:13:37 ◼   ► it but do you know much about Kwanzaa [TS]

01:13:39 ◼   ► most of what I know about Kwan's I've [TS]

01:13:40 ◼   ► learned from things my daughter had to [TS]

01:13:41 ◼   ► draw at school I feel like it is a it is [TS]

01:13:44 ◼   ► a holiday that derives from the Afro [TS]

01:13:48 ◼   ► centrosome movement and it reflects yeah [TS]

01:13:52 ◼   ► kind of a general but it's like isn't it [TS]

01:13:55 ◼   ► based on like each day is a different [TS]

01:13:56 ◼   ► kind of like value oh so it's like the [TS]

01:14:00 ◼   ► Stations of the Cross kind of maybe [TS]

01:14:03 ◼   ► Kwanzaa with three guys don't know about [TS]

01:14:07 ◼   ► it Oh they've got candles to look at [TS]

01:14:08 ◼   ► that they're Kwanzaa it feels like if it [TS]

01:14:13 ◼   ► feels like because of the the [TS]

01:14:15 ◼   ► contemporary sense of not wanting to [TS]

01:14:19 ◼   ► commit a cultural appropriation yes that [TS]

01:14:22 ◼   ► there would be no way for for us to like [TS]

01:14:28 ◼   ► multiculturally celebrate Kwanzaa if she [TS]

01:14:32 ◼   ► came home and said why don't we [TS]

01:14:33 ◼   ► celebrate Kwanzaa like I think I could [TS]

01:14:36 ◼   ► say about Hanukkah like yeah let's [TS]

01:14:38 ◼   ► celebrate Hanukkah like sure but I don't [TS]

01:14:40 ◼   ► think I could say because it's very [TS]

01:14:42 ◼   ► complicated this idea of cultural [TS]

01:14:44 ◼   ► appropriation because of course it's all [TS]

01:14:46 ◼   ► everything that makes up American [TS]

01:14:48 ◼   ► culture is culturally Kwanzaa is very [TS]

01:14:50 ◼   ► high concept I'm not going to attempt to [TS]

01:14:51 ◼   ► read these in the original words but the [TS]

01:14:54 ◼   ► English translation so seven principles [TS]

01:14:57 ◼   ► of Kwanzaa unity self-determination each [TS]

01:15:00 ◼   ► day is a different quality or principle [TS]

01:15:03 ◼   ► unity self-determination collective work [TS]

01:15:06 ◼   ► and responsibility cooperative economics [TS]

01:15:08 ◼   ► purpose creativity and faith instead of [TS]

01:15:13 ◼   ► the only thing the only thing missing is [TS]

01:15:15 ◼   ► mm-hmm have a special bag that daddy [TS]

01:15:18 ◼   ► bought you that you carry everywhere [TS]

01:15:19 ◼   ► there are extra me for a dollar oh [TS]

01:15:21 ◼   ► that's the that's the real tradition [TS]

01:15:25 ◼   ► extra me for a dollar I believe in every [TS]

01:15:28 ◼   ► single one of those Kwanzaa principles [TS]

01:15:30 ◼   ► and I feel like I [TS]

01:15:33 ◼   ► could integrate them into my daily life [TS]

01:15:35 ◼   ► and into our holiday celebration because [TS]

01:15:38 ◼   ► they're all wonderful even the [TS]

01:15:40 ◼   ► collective economics which I know is you [TS]

01:15:43 ◼   ► know that scary economics to build and [TS]

01:15:45 ◼   ► maintain our own stores shops and other [TS]

01:15:47 ◼   ► businesses and to profit from them [TS]

01:15:48 ◼   ► together you're talking about like guys [TS]

01:15:50 ◼   ► talking about indie rock well you are [TS]

01:15:52 ◼   ► but then but then the language our own [TS]

01:15:56 ◼   ► again that seems like a thing that's is [TS]

01:16:01 ◼   ► a little bit separatist mmm [TS]

01:16:04 ◼   ► like hard to know exactly our own versus [TS]

01:16:08 ◼   ► whom's I didn't know if there's more ein [TS]

01:16:09 ◼   ► Rand your I see what you're saying okay [TS]

01:16:11 ◼   ► alright yeah so I don't know I mean I'm [TS]

01:16:14 ◼   ► very very I do not know what to do about [TS]

01:16:20 ◼   ► mallanna costume because we were again [TS]

01:16:24 ◼   ► at a thrift store and we were at a [TS]

01:16:25 ◼   ► thrift store in Bremerton Washington [TS]

01:16:27 ◼   ► which is like the Navy base town and my [TS]

01:16:31 ◼   ► daughter found one of those sort of it's [TS]

01:16:35 ◼   ► it's a little like brocade Chinese girl [TS]

01:16:38 ◼   ► dress and she found this you know she [TS]

01:16:42 ◼   ► found this beautiful garment and to her [TS]

01:16:45 ◼   ► it just seemed like this beautiful thing [TS]

01:16:47 ◼   ► and then at the same store she found a [TS]

01:16:52 ◼   ► Japanese paper umbrella oh and she also [TS]

01:16:57 ◼   ► thought that this was beautiful and she [TS]

01:16:58 ◼   ► did not she didn't understand that they [TS]

01:17:01 ◼   ► were Asian and she's she's under she's [TS]

01:17:04 ◼   ► clear about the the fact that there are [TS]

01:17:06 ◼   ► that there is China right she is very [TS]

01:17:09 ◼   ► curious about China but these are [TS]

01:17:11 ◼   ► beautiful items right they're just [TS]

01:17:13 ◼   ► beautiful things Turner they don't have [TS]

01:17:15 ◼   ► their fancy their fancy so she wants to [TS]

01:17:19 ◼   ► buy these things and she wants to put on [TS]

01:17:22 ◼   ► the and she sees an association between [TS]

01:17:25 ◼   ► them they're both fancy and she she sees [TS]

01:17:28 ◼   ► an association so here she is in her [TS]

01:17:30 ◼   ► little Chinese brocade dress with her [TS]

01:17:33 ◼   ► Japanese paper umbrella and I'm standing [TS]

01:17:37 ◼   ► there going I'm not sure what to do now [TS]

01:17:40 ◼   ► so I took a picture of it and I sent it [TS]

01:17:44 ◼   ► to Jessie thorne [TS]

01:17:45 ◼   ► and I said Jesse thorn what do you do [TS]

01:17:48 ◼   ► here [TS]

01:17:49 ◼   ► and Jesse wrote back thoughtfully and [TS]

01:17:52 ◼   ► said I you know like in order to like it [TS]

01:17:56 ◼   ► is cultural appropriation that you're [TS]

01:17:59 ◼   ► that you are traipsing into I think you [TS]

01:18:05 ◼   ► either thing is fine but you cannot have [TS]

01:18:07 ◼   ► them both and I say to the child to [TS]

01:18:11 ◼   ► explain that you cannot you cannot [TS]

01:18:16 ◼   ► explain it I bought her both things and [TS]

01:18:19 ◼   ► there's something here you should feel [TS]

01:18:20 ◼   ► bad about but I'm not sure if I should [TS]

01:18:22 ◼   ► tell you why no I said said you can't [TS]

01:18:28 ◼   ► take the parasol outside it's not a [TS]

01:18:30 ◼   ► functional umbrella how you lied that's [TS]

01:18:32 ◼   ► good [TS]

01:18:32 ◼   ► well it's not a functional umbrella no [TS]

01:18:35 ◼   ► that's true that's true [TS]

01:18:36 ◼   ► that's know is really underrated [TS]

01:18:39 ◼   ► sometimes there's a lot of lies well [TS]

01:18:42 ◼   ► sometimes you have appeal to Authority [TS]

01:18:43 ◼   ► and lie and you have to know when to [TS]

01:18:45 ◼   ► deploy those mm-hmm in my case I there [TS]

01:18:49 ◼   ► is no reason to burden her mind with the [TS]

01:18:53 ◼   ► whole idea of cultural appropriation [TS]

01:18:55 ◼   ► because I feel like it is a fashion [TS]

01:18:57 ◼   ► rather than a truth right and by the [TS]

01:18:59 ◼   ► time she is 15 there will be some other [TS]

01:19:01 ◼   ► things that that people who want to be [TS]

01:19:04 ◼   ► upset it will be upset about and [TS]

01:19:06 ◼   ► cultural appropriation will go back to [TS]

01:19:07 ◼   ► being an American tradition rather than [TS]

01:19:10 ◼   ► a thing to be mad about [TS]

01:19:11 ◼   ► but right now Milana is extremely [TS]

01:19:16 ◼   ► popular with her she thinks it's an [TS]

01:19:19 ◼   ► amazing movie very good movie and she [TS]

01:19:21 ◼   ► wants a Moana dress and I have I know [TS]

01:19:26 ◼   ► for I know from the fact that I am [TS]

01:19:28 ◼   ► sometimes on the internet that this is [TS]

01:19:29 ◼   ► very controversial it's a problem and [TS]

01:19:31 ◼   ► it's very problem on a costume because [TS]

01:19:35 ◼   ► to wear a Moana costume is to I don't [TS]

01:19:38 ◼   ► know what it's just something for [TS]

01:19:41 ◼   ► intersectionality here though is this [TS]

01:19:43 ◼   ► something we need to I feel like but I [TS]

01:19:46 ◼   ► mean there's a buts of the story of [TS]

01:19:47 ◼   ► Moana that goes beyond that particular [TS]

01:19:49 ◼   ► culture and your dressing up mostly as [TS]

01:19:51 ◼   ► the confident girl right this is very [TS]

01:19:54 ◼   ► complex right because we because Moana [TS]

01:19:58 ◼   ► is [TS]

01:19:59 ◼   ► you know is a wonderful example of [TS]

01:20:02 ◼   ► singer she's fantastic [TS]

01:20:05 ◼   ► she picks like this a fantastic movie [TS]

01:20:07 ◼   ► but it's all and it's also wonderful as [TS]

01:20:09 ◼   ► an example of representation right there [TS]

01:20:12 ◼   ► all these beautiful stories of finally [TS]

01:20:14 ◼   ► the rock got a role well thank God he [TS]

01:20:17 ◼   ► was God bless us every [TS]

01:20:17 ◼   ► was God bless us every [TS]

00:00:01 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

00:00:05 ◼   ► hello hi John [TS]

00:00:08 ◼   ► Merry Christmas Merlin Merry Christmas [TS]

00:00:11 ◼   ► John you got all your holiday shopping [TS]

00:00:14 ◼   ► done oh you know this was the first year [TS]

00:00:18 ◼   ► where I yes at least for at least for my [TS]

00:00:21 ◼   ► little girl [TS]

00:00:22 ◼   ► I started stockpiling Christmas presents [TS]

00:00:25 ◼   ► a long time ago oh I have an anecdote [TS]

00:00:27 ◼   ► John let's just say what we got to say [TS]

00:00:29 ◼   ► this is our very very special annual we [TS]

00:00:32 ◼   ► never miss we look forward to this all [TS]

00:00:33 ◼   ► year this is our very very special [TS]

00:00:35 ◼   ► Christmas Day episode it really is it [TS]

00:00:37 ◼   ► really is fun and you guys should go [TS]

00:00:39 ◼   ► back and listen to all the Christmas [TS]

00:00:40 ◼   ► episode Christmas episodes straight with [TS]

00:00:46 ◼   ► our listeners that yeah you miss a drop [TS]

00:00:48 ◼   ► of this goodness [TS]

00:00:49 ◼   ► so we're pre recording the episodes that [TS]

00:00:51 ◼   ► will run on Christmas Day and New Year's [TS]

00:00:54 ◼   ► Day and so you know we'll have these [TS]

00:00:58 ◼   ► ready to post so if anything happens if [TS]

00:01:00 ◼   ► there's any kind of I know you and Ken [TS]

00:01:01 ◼   ► are working on what to do in the event [TS]

00:01:02 ◼   ► of an apocalypse mmm so hopefully these [TS]

00:01:05 ◼   ► will live on beyond this but if it seems [TS]

00:01:07 ◼   ► a little strange is cuz we're recording [TS]

00:01:08 ◼   ► them a little early we recorded these in [TS]

00:01:10 ◼   ► June and you know my gosh it's so hot [TS]

00:01:12 ◼   ► yeah okay I had reason to go to a retail [TS]

00:01:21 ◼   ► store I want to say it was probably [TS]

00:01:24 ◼   ► maybe before Thanksgiving but physically [TS]

00:01:26 ◼   ► I will say was right after Thanksgiving [TS]

00:01:27 ◼   ► I think was before Thanksgiving I went [TS]

00:01:28 ◼   ► in I was greeted by someone in the story [TS]

00:01:31 ◼   ► you know what that person said to me not [TS]

00:01:33 ◼   ► this thing they said y'all don't like [TS]

00:01:34 ◼   ► your Christmas shopping mm-hmm y'all [TS]

00:01:38 ◼   ► done with your Christmas your Christmas [TS]

00:01:40 ◼   ► shopping I hope no one told you to say [TS]

00:01:46 ◼   ► that cuz that's a horrible thing to say [TS]

00:01:48 ◼   ► to someone no official especially then [TS]

00:01:50 ◼   ► hey I mean like as we record this in [TS]

00:01:54 ◼   ► June um no I'm kind of just really [TS]

00:01:58 ◼   ► getting into the into the swing of it [TS]

00:01:59 ◼   ► now baby are you are you being straight [TS]

00:02:01 ◼   ► up how are you have you been thinking [TS]

00:02:02 ◼   ► ahead about your little girls Christmas [TS]

00:02:04 ◼   ► well yeah and I think it started back it [TS]

00:02:08 ◼   ► started back around Halloween well [TS]

00:02:13 ◼   ► actually they Ino I think so I made the [TS]

00:02:16 ◼   ► mistake [TS]

00:02:17 ◼   ► of celebrating her half birthday when [TS]

00:02:20 ◼   ► she was three years old it's like you've [TS]

00:02:23 ◼   ► created a precedent there I did and her [TS]

00:02:26 ◼   ► half birthday as has since become just [TS]

00:02:29 ◼   ► as if not more important than her real [TS]

00:02:31 ◼   ► birthday she knows she's gonna celebrate [TS]

00:02:34 ◼   ► her real date birthday but she really [TS]

00:02:36 ◼   ► feels like she needs to assert her half [TS]

00:02:38 ◼   ► birthday and so right around her half [TS]

00:02:41 ◼   ► birthday I think I ordered her sweet [TS]

00:02:46 ◼   ► gesture but you have no idea what is [TS]

00:02:49 ◼   ► going to his staying power with a child [TS]

00:02:52 ◼   ► like sprouts or something it could be [TS]

00:02:55 ◼   ► the one time we decided we'll go out to [TS]

00:02:57 ◼   ► dinner for your happy birthday now and [TS]

00:02:59 ◼   ► now that's her official Jubilee [TS]

00:03:00 ◼   ► coronation it really is and she's like [TS]

00:03:03 ◼   ► half birthdays are strawberry cupcakes [TS]

00:03:05 ◼   ► she's like she started talking about the [TS]

00:03:08 ◼   ► theme of her half birthday I'm like the [TS]

00:03:10 ◼   ► theme she's like I want it to be a [TS]

00:03:13 ◼   ► superhero theme I was like the theme of [TS]

00:03:16 ◼   ► your half-birthday nuts but so right [TS]

00:03:22 ◼   ► around your half birthday I ordered her [TS]

00:03:27 ◼   ► several pairs I have a I have a close [TS]

00:03:29 ◼   ► friend who wears toe socks [TS]

00:03:32 ◼   ► uh-huh but you wear under shoes but over [TS]

00:03:36 ◼   ► feet yeah she wears she has these cute [TS]

00:03:38 ◼   ► little toe socks that are I think made [TS]

00:03:41 ◼   ► in Japan I don't know some they're very [TS]

00:03:42 ◼   ► cute my wife wasn't for running cuz you [TS]

00:03:45 ◼   ► get fewer blisters and stuff that's what [TS]

00:03:47 ◼   ► they're meant for I'm so cute and cozy [TS]

00:03:49 ◼   ► they're cute and cozy and and my pal I [TS]

00:03:52 ◼   ► don't think wears him for running but [TS]

00:03:54 ◼   ► she wears them for love like I don't [TS]

00:03:56 ◼   ► know what climbing walls I don't know [TS]

00:03:58 ◼   ► but at one point Marlowe I'm sorry at [TS]

00:04:04 ◼   ► one point yeah Marlowe everybody knows [TS]

00:04:06 ◼   ► her not being able to control John's [TS]

00:04:16 ◼   ► mouth pretty long time ago that's the [TS]

00:04:18 ◼   ► kind of tweet I'm looking forward to [TS]

00:04:19 ◼   ► getting on Christmas Day [TS]

00:04:27 ◼   ► another program I do we call him Gary [TS]

00:04:29 ◼   ► the privacy concern clown and he's the [TS]

00:04:31 ◼   ► concern troll who shows up in your men [TS]

00:04:33 ◼   ► cheese to say that you can see the [TS]

00:04:35 ◼   ► reflection of your address in the [TS]

00:04:36 ◼   ► toaster you must guess a lot with the [TS]

00:04:37 ◼   ► Instagram I do that can of corn is only [TS]

00:04:42 ◼   ► available at this one particular store [TS]

00:04:43 ◼   ► near your house somebody say the other [TS]

00:04:47 ◼   ► day they were like oh bad [TS]

00:04:48 ◼   ► OPSEC sir dad ops yeah that's a bit yeah [TS]

00:04:51 ◼   ► that's good because I posted a picture [TS]

00:04:55 ◼   ► of an envelope that if you used like the [TS]

00:04:58 ◼   ► same technology that they use to look [TS]

00:05:00 ◼   ► under girls shirts you know laying some [TS]

00:05:02 ◼   ► kind of some kind of Photoshop [TS]

00:05:05 ◼   ► technology is this the photo of your [TS]

00:05:09 ◼   ► diploma shaped envelope yeah my diploma [TS]

00:05:11 ◼   ► and someone said I can see the address [TS]

00:05:13 ◼   ► but haha it's actually the address of my [TS]

00:05:17 ◼   ► mom's old house oh-ho-ho now talk to the [TS]

00:05:24 ◼   ► current tenant and scrape some DNA off [TS]

00:05:26 ◼   ► the pillars and stuff distinct beard [TS]

00:05:33 ◼   ► hair here you know unfortunately [TS]

00:05:36 ◼   ► unfortunately OPSEC people my mom when [TS]

00:05:40 ◼   ► she sold that house basically converted [TS]

00:05:43 ◼   ► it into a new house because she was [TS]

00:05:46 ◼   ► because she's my mom and she was like [TS]

00:05:47 ◼   ► well I can't sell a house to somebody if [TS]

00:05:50 ◼   ► the base boards need to be recaulk [TS]

00:05:54 ◼   ► getaway driver wiping off the wheel but [TS]

00:05:57 ◼   ► for a house Oh insane I mean you see so [TS]

00:05:59 ◼   ► many houses where it's like where people [TS]

00:06:01 ◼   ► are the photographs at that the real [TS]

00:06:05 ◼   ► estate listings they have like Real [TS]

00:06:07 ◼   ► Dolls sitting on the furniture I mean [TS]

00:06:08 ◼   ► their houses for sale where it's really [TS]

00:06:10 ◼   ► gross and she's in there she spent two [TS]

00:06:13 ◼   ► and a half months she and Peter in there [TS]

00:06:17 ◼   ► like scraping and paintin time Wow [TS]

00:06:20 ◼   ► scraping and paintin anyway so so she's [TS]

00:06:24 ◼   ► ho socks [TS]

00:06:25 ◼   ► we found a toe sock and she was like I [TS]

00:06:29 ◼   ► love this where's the other one and I [TS]

00:06:31 ◼   ► was like I don't know I don't know how [TS]

00:06:33 ◼   ► you find one toe sock floating around [TS]

00:06:35 ◼   ► house and so she had this one toe sock [TS]

00:06:38 ◼   ► and then about I don't know a monthly [TS]

00:06:42 ◼   ► another differently colored toe sock [TS]

00:06:46 ◼   ► showed up at which point I couldn't find [TS]

00:06:49 ◼   ► the first toe sock and I was like I was [TS]

00:06:53 ◼   ► very confused there was a pink toe sock [TS]

00:06:54 ◼   ► there was a blue toe sign and I'm and [TS]

00:06:58 ◼   ► and and she was confused we were both [TS]

00:07:00 ◼   ► very confused like I know the other I [TS]

00:07:03 ◼   ► know the other one was pink I know the [TS]

00:07:05 ◼   ► other one was a left-hand foot but now [TS]

00:07:09 ◼   ► that I found this blue one I'm [TS]

00:07:10 ◼   ► questioning everything oh man [TS]

00:07:13 ◼   ► and so yes leaning it was it felt like [TS]

00:07:16 ◼   ► that but then it took me several months [TS]

00:07:18 ◼   ► I guess to figure out oh my friend who [TS]

00:07:22 ◼   ► wears toe socks also has a individual [TS]

00:07:27 ◼   ► affectation where she wears one shoe of [TS]

00:07:29 ◼   ► one color and the other shoe of it oh [TS]

00:07:30 ◼   ► that's fun it's a lot of fun and I [TS]

00:07:33 ◼   ► didn't realize it extended to socks but [TS]

00:07:36 ◼   ► in fact it did so I was able finally to [TS]

00:07:39 ◼   ► find both and combine them into one off [TS]

00:07:42 ◼   ► set of toe socks but my daughter is not [TS]

00:07:46 ◼   ► into that she does not want her socks to [TS]

00:07:48 ◼   ► be unmatched she wants them to be [TS]

00:07:50 ◼   ► matching mm-hmm so I ordered her a bunch [TS]

00:07:53 ◼   ► of matchi toe socks for her half [TS]

00:07:55 ◼   ► birthday but because of the miracles [TS]

00:08:02 ◼   ► that are entwined in the Prime [TS]

00:08:04 ◼   ► membership at Amazon they did not arrive [TS]

00:08:08 ◼   ► in time oh no but I but I'm not somebody [TS]

00:08:12 ◼   ► that's like you're gonna get a big [TS]

00:08:13 ◼   ► present on your half-birthday I just [TS]

00:08:15 ◼   ► they didn't come and I was like well [TS]

00:08:17 ◼   ► they didn't come so I had them and I'm [TS]

00:08:20 ◼   ► like I don't want to be you know I've [TS]

00:08:21 ◼   ► already established a half birthday [TS]

00:08:23 ◼   ► problem I don't want to be the dad that [TS]

00:08:25 ◼   ► is trickling presents out I'm trickling [TS]

00:08:28 ◼   ► half birthday presents out a week later [TS]

00:08:29 ◼   ► right that's another doesn't that [TS]

00:08:32 ◼   ► precedent yeah [TS]

00:08:33 ◼   ► or like our Midwestern thing we're like [TS]

00:08:37 ◼   ► it whenever you make anybody you have [TS]

00:08:38 ◼   ► somebody over for dinner or something [TS]

00:08:39 ◼   ► like that like it's it's not I still do [TS]

00:08:44 ◼   ► this where I'm like apologizing through [TS]

00:08:45 ◼   ► the meal for things I didn't do or I [TS]

00:08:47 ◼   ► wanted to do differently [TS]

00:08:49 ◼   ► and it's like you know the things you [TS]

00:08:50 ◼   ► don't stop for a minute and going well [TS]

00:08:51 ◼   ► first of all that's not fun for the [TS]

00:08:53 ◼   ► people who ride so they don't know and [TS]

00:08:57 ◼   ► it makes it about you for no reason and [TS]

00:08:58 ◼   ► now you're creating this expectation we [TS]

00:08:59 ◼   ► like oh god what's next [TS]

00:09:01 ◼   ► you know that's oh you're smart so you [TS]

00:09:03 ◼   ► caught yourself on the second one that's [TS]

00:09:05 ◼   ► good I I did and so I put thee now you [TS]

00:09:08 ◼   ► know one day it's that one day there is [TS]

00:09:12 ◼   ► a 1% chance that she will listen to [TS]

00:09:15 ◼   ► these shows certainly a less than 1% [TS]

00:09:19 ◼   ► chance that she will listen to these [TS]

00:09:20 ◼   ► shows all the way through to the [TS]

00:09:22 ◼   ► Christmas episode they have an AI or [TS]

00:09:25 ◼   ► some machine that she can quit right so [TS]

00:09:29 ◼   ► I'm gonna give it away that what I did [TS]

00:09:31 ◼   ► with the toe socks is I put them over [TS]

00:09:32 ◼   ► the refrigerator in the cupboard over [TS]

00:09:34 ◼   ► the refrigerator nice and that that's [TS]

00:09:35 ◼   ► where I think a lot of presents went [TS]

00:09:37 ◼   ► when I was a kid that's where my dad [TS]

00:09:39 ◼   ► kept his pistol you know the thing over [TS]

00:09:42 ◼   ► the refrigerator it's just like that's [TS]

00:09:43 ◼   ► the hardest thing that's the hardest [TS]

00:09:45 ◼   ► place in the house to get to if you're a [TS]

00:09:46 ◼   ► little kid so the toe socks went up [TS]

00:09:49 ◼   ► there and then Halloween came and right [TS]

00:09:54 ◼   ► right immediately after Halloween [TS]

00:09:57 ◼   ► because we went through all this thing [TS]

00:09:59 ◼   ► for three months she's like I want to be [TS]

00:10:02 ◼   ► this I want to be mulana and I was like [TS]

00:10:05 ◼   ► well and then she changed it and she was [TS]

00:10:07 ◼   ► like I want to be ninja Moana and I'm [TS]

00:10:10 ◼   ► like fine I'm trying to think of all the [TS]

00:10:13 ◼   ► parts I need to get for that and then [TS]

00:10:15 ◼   ► she's like I want to be ninja Moana from [TS]

00:10:18 ◼   ► frozen Oh working on it working on it [TS]

00:10:22 ◼   ► and then at the very last minute she's [TS]

00:10:24 ◼   ► like I want to be a butterfly and I'm [TS]

00:10:26 ◼   ► like okay change changing course and [TS]

00:10:28 ◼   ► then she's like I want to be a ninja [TS]

00:10:30 ◼   ► butterfly from the water huh like you [TS]

00:10:34 ◼   ► know and so we got her together for [TS]

00:10:36 ◼   ► Halloween she had like three different [TS]

00:10:38 ◼   ► events to go to and she had five [TS]

00:10:40 ◼   ► different costumes because she likes to [TS]

00:10:41 ◼   ► change costumes halfway through and then [TS]

00:10:44 ◼   ► two days later she says I got invited to [TS]

00:10:49 ◼   ► a superhero party and I want to be [TS]

00:10:52 ◼   ► Supergirl I was like fine and she said [TS]

00:10:56 ◼   ► it's today [TS]

00:10:59 ◼   ► or tomorrow like tomorrow that's that's [TS]

00:11:01 ◼   ► pretty short notice for a Supergirl [TS]

00:11:02 ◼   ► outfit so I went on my Amazon Prime [TS]

00:11:05 ◼   ► because I still I haven't been a prime [TS]

00:11:07 ◼   ► subscriber for very long I know you have [TS]

00:11:09 ◼   ► for a long time but I still have this [TS]

00:11:12 ◼   ► fantasy has become like a habit too you [TS]

00:11:14 ◼   ► know and I still have a sense of like [TS]

00:11:17 ◼   ► well if you order it on prime it shows [TS]

00:11:18 ◼   ► up immediately somebody comes on a drone [TS]

00:11:20 ◼   ► or there's a dirigible or something that [TS]

00:11:22 ◼   ► it'll be there and so I ordered a [TS]

00:11:24 ◼   ► superhero Supergirl costume and I get [TS]

00:11:26 ◼   ► that you know there are 25 different [TS]

00:11:27 ◼   ► kinds so I got the one that I thought [TS]

00:11:29 ◼   ► was you know gonna last because I want [TS]

00:11:33 ◼   ► her to have it into the entertainment to [TS]

00:11:35 ◼   ► college or get married in it it did not [TS]

00:11:38 ◼   ► arrive in time for the superhero Gustin [TS]

00:11:41 ◼   ► and she was stipulated that she that [TS]

00:11:45 ◼   ► this was a real superhero party and not [TS]

00:11:48 ◼   ► a superhero party where daddy gets to [TS]

00:11:50 ◼   ► invent a kind of superhero you needs to [TS]

00:11:53 ◼   ► be like a known brand or franchise I [TS]

00:11:56 ◼   ► can't can't be like a pickled lady or [TS]

00:11:59 ◼   ► something no recipe person I actually [TS]

00:12:04 ◼   ► did go to a Halloween party of hers one [TS]

00:12:07 ◼   ► time as mr. pickle I just decided that [TS]

00:12:12 ◼   ► that was a superhero and I was mr. [TS]

00:12:14 ◼   ► pickle that's I don't know how you knew [TS]

00:12:16 ◼   ► that but that that's actually one I've [TS]

00:12:18 ◼   ► done and she wasn't that impressed with [TS]

00:12:21 ◼   ► that and she is not and she she knew in [TS]

00:12:23 ◼   ► advance that there was a possibility [TS]

00:12:25 ◼   ► that I was going to send her as you know [TS]

00:12:29 ◼   ► like miss flag hero dressed head-to-toe [TS]

00:12:33 ◼   ► in like Canadian nautical standards she [TS]

00:12:39 ◼   ► was like I want to be a real superheroes [TS]

00:12:41 ◼   ► ticket stub she's very into Supergirl so [TS]

00:12:46 ◼   ► I was like Supergirl it is well TV show [TS]

00:12:49 ◼   ► uh I think that a lot of this stuff she [TS]

00:12:52 ◼   ► gets yeah yeah yeah she's super duper [TS]

00:12:57 ◼   ► into Star Wars and she's never seen any [TS]

00:12:59 ◼   ► Star Wars that's a thing she's got dark [TS]

00:13:01 ◼   ► Vader everything and she I'm like why is [TS]

00:13:05 ◼   ► dark Vader the one that you like she's [TS]

00:13:08 ◼   ► like why is dark Vader the one you like [TS]

00:13:10 ◼   ► what are you talking about it's dark [TS]

00:13:11 ◼   ► Vader [TS]

00:13:12 ◼   ► yes ma'am she's got a dark Vador thermos [TS]

00:13:17 ◼   ► and she's very into it anyway so Super [TS]

00:13:22 ◼   ► Girl Costume arrives too late for [TS]

00:13:25 ◼   ► superhero party and so she ends up going [TS]

00:13:30 ◼   ► to superhero party as a kind of [TS]

00:13:34 ◼   ► superhero that she and her father [TS]

00:13:37 ◼   ► concocted but she took the lead on it so [TS]

00:13:41 ◼   ► she was fine with it I think that she [TS]

00:13:45 ◼   ► was butterfly ninja girl so anyway this [TS]

00:13:49 ◼   ► nice super super girl costume arrives [TS]

00:13:51 ◼   ► and I'm like up above the refrigerator [TS]

00:13:56 ◼   ► right uh-huh [TS]

00:13:58 ◼   ► so now I've got toe socks and Super Girl [TS]

00:14:03 ◼   ► costume I'm glad I get where you're [TS]

00:14:08 ◼   ► going with this doesn't know what wasn't [TS]

00:14:12 ◼   ► there that's right it's an elaborate [TS]

00:14:15 ◼   ► long con shell game I have already I've [TS]

00:14:20 ◼   ► already established that she wants a [TS]

00:14:22 ◼   ► super girl costume a long time ago and [TS]

00:14:25 ◼   ► she she's probably like moved on from it [TS]

00:14:29 ◼   ► but only because she didn't feel like it [TS]

00:14:31 ◼   ► was in the offing mm-hmm so all these [TS]

00:14:36 ◼   ► things are gonna arrive and then there [TS]

00:14:37 ◼   ► was a I held off getting her Barbie [TS]

00:14:40 ◼   ► stuff for a long time we tried to it was [TS]

00:14:43 ◼   ► it was it came in the side door from [TS]

00:14:44 ◼   ► relatives yes yep that's exactly right [TS]

00:14:48 ◼   ► they they they show up I don't know how [TS]

00:14:50 ◼   ► yeah but I was somewhere maybe an [TS]

00:14:54 ◼   ► airport a long time ago and I bought her [TS]

00:14:57 ◼   ► a Barbie bicycle with like a bastok and [TS]

00:15:02 ◼   ► a little dog maybe it's got like 14 [TS]

00:15:05 ◼   ► parts and I I got it home and I felt [TS]

00:15:09 ◼   ► like at the time she was too she'd only [TS]

00:15:12 ◼   ► just gotten her first Barbie and she was [TS]

00:15:15 ◼   ► too young to have a you know this Barbie [TS]

00:15:18 ◼   ► has like in the past it gets got like a [TS]

00:15:20 ◼   ► loaf bread or a bottle of bourbon and [TS]

00:15:22 ◼   ► you know like a like a pot pipe it's a [TS]

00:15:25 ◼   ► it's Juggalo Barney this episode of [TS]

00:15:30 ◼   ► Roderick on the line is brought to you [TS]

00:15:32 ◼   ► by Squarespace [TS]

00:15:33 ◼   ► you can learn more about Squarespace [TS]

00:15:34 ◼   ► right now by visiting squarespace.com [TS]

00:15:37 ◼   ► Merry Christmas [TS]

00:15:39 ◼   ► Squarespace happy holidays happy [TS]

00:15:41 ◼   ► everybody happy everything you can get [TS]

00:15:43 ◼   ► on the Squarespace you know about [TS]

00:15:44 ◼   ► Squarespace why don't you start your you [TS]

00:15:45 ◼   ► know what structure your off right and [TS]

00:15:48 ◼   ► you get on Squarespace because with [TS]

00:15:49 ◼   ► Squarespace you can create a beautiful [TS]

00:15:50 ◼   ► website that'll turn your cool idea into [TS]

00:15:53 ◼   ► a whole new website it's a whole new [TS]

00:15:55 ◼   ► thing it's an online experience you can [TS]

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00:15:58 ◼   ► publish other kinds of text content you [TS]

00:16:00 ◼   ► can sell products and services promote [TS]

00:16:02 ◼   ► your physical or online business you can [TS]

00:16:05 ◼   ► announce upcoming events special [TS]

00:16:06 ◼   ► projects all of this and more how do [TS]

00:16:08 ◼   ► they do it how even do they do it they [TS]

00:16:12 ◼   ► do this by giving you beautiful [TS]

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00:16:23 ◼   ► just a few clicks [TS]

00:16:24 ◼   ► everything is optimized for mobile right [TS]

00:16:27 ◼   ► out-of-the-box looks good on any device [TS]

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00:16:39 ◼   ► ever ever ever and of course their award [TS]

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00:16:45 ◼   ► encouraging you to get out there and [TS]

00:16:46 ◼   ► make it make yourself make a stand out [TS]

00:16:48 ◼   ► make it on your Squarespace hmm if [TS]

00:16:51 ◼   ► you're listening to this show and I [TS]

00:16:52 ◼   ► think you are you probably know already [TS]

00:16:54 ◼   ► that Roderick on the line is down it has [TS]

00:16:56 ◼   ► always been hosted on Squarespace the [TS]

00:16:58 ◼   ► audio files text files the image files [TS]

00:17:00 ◼   ► it's all just in there I love to death [TS]

00:17:03 ◼   ► I'm a huge fan and I can actually say I [TS]

00:17:04 ◼   ► really recommend them so go out right [TS]

00:17:05 ◼   ► now you go check out Squarespace comm [TS]

00:17:07 ◼   ► for a free trial and when you're ready [TS]

00:17:09 ◼   ► to launch use the offer code supertrain [TS]

00:17:11 ◼   ► to save 10% off your first purchase of a [TS]

00:17:14 ◼   ► website or domain squarespace.com our [TS]

00:17:17 ◼   ► thanks to Squarespace for supporting [TS]

00:17:18 ◼   ► Rodrick on the line and all the great [TS]

00:17:23 ◼   ► so that went up above the fridge - and [TS]

00:17:27 ◼   ► now she's old enough for it uh-huh so [TS]

00:17:32 ◼   ► just so we're clear it is a typical it's [TS]

00:17:38 ◼   ► not like a Lego thing it's an actual [TS]

00:17:39 ◼   ► Barbie sized Barbie set yes it is it's a [TS]

00:17:44 ◼   ► big it's a it's a full-on bicycle that [TS]

00:17:46 ◼   ► Barbie can ride it's a pretty nice [TS]

00:17:47 ◼   ► little thing and then the last thing [TS]

00:17:50 ◼   ► that went up above the fridge was I was [TS]

00:17:51 ◼   ► at a thrift store the other day and I'm [TS]

00:17:54 ◼   ► going through the lapel pins and [TS]

00:17:56 ◼   ► cufflinks as you do because every once [TS]

00:18:00 ◼   ► while you find a lapel pin that's like [TS]

00:18:01 ◼   ► World's Fair 1964 or something that you [TS]

00:18:05 ◼   ► know some lapel pin that says I'm one of [TS]

00:18:08 ◼   ► the 12 people that walked on the moon [TS]

00:18:09 ◼   ► like oh I'll pay 99 cents for that sure [TS]

00:18:13 ◼   ► but I found a very nice enamel lapel pin [TS]

00:18:19 ◼   ► of the Superman logo oh how nice that [TS]

00:18:24 ◼   ► some I can only imagine the person that [TS]

00:18:28 ◼   ► wore this right like just like instead [TS]

00:18:33 ◼   ► of a flag pin just a little like [TS]

00:18:35 ◼   ► Superman pin I mean I don't know I'm not [TS]

00:18:39 ◼   ► sure whether that was whether it's a [TS]

00:18:40 ◼   ► fedora that wore it or what but it but [TS]

00:18:43 ◼   ► there it was and I said Supergirl [TS]

00:18:48 ◼   ► same-same I'll get the Supergirl pin and [TS]

00:18:52 ◼   ► then she can wear Supergirl pin even [TS]

00:18:53 ◼   ► when she's not in Supergirl costume so [TS]

00:18:57 ◼   ► there I've got four things no I don't [TS]

00:18:59 ◼   ► know and I don't want to be one of those [TS]

00:19:02 ◼   ► parents that's got like 12 presents for [TS]

00:19:04 ◼   ► your kid yourself don't want that like a [TS]

00:19:10 ◼   ► people I said well it's not I'm [TS]

00:19:11 ◼   ► competing somewhat with her expectations [TS]

00:19:13 ◼   ► but they're driven by my own like oh [TS]

00:19:14 ◼   ► there isn't a good big one yet we still [TS]

00:19:17 ◼   ► need a big one yeah the big one problem [TS]

00:19:20 ◼   ► yes we gotta have a big one it's got to [TS]

00:19:22 ◼   ► be one we open all the cool stuff in the [TS]

00:19:24 ◼   ► angry socks and books and then that's [TS]

00:19:27 ◼   ► all of them yeah that Christmas story [TS]

00:19:29 ◼   ► might be one more behind [TS]

00:19:31 ◼   ► to van and you go know what I don't know [TS]

00:19:34 ◼   ► why I don't know why I don't have a big [TS]

00:19:36 ◼   ► one yet tip a divan well you know I've [TS]

00:19:39 ◼   ► got a 30 year old couch yeah now it's [TS]

00:19:42 ◼   ► not a good one for me to get for my wife [TS]

00:19:44 ◼   ► she's really tired of having the [TS]

00:19:45 ◼   ► secondhand couch that I got in the 90s [TS]

00:19:46 ◼   ► she's really not truly ready for a [TS]

00:19:49 ◼   ► grownup couch do you feel qualified to [TS]

00:19:53 ◼   ► pick a grownup couch that she'll be like [TS]

00:19:56 ◼   ► that she'll find acceptable well I don't [TS]

00:20:00 ◼   ► take you off the story cuz you're going [TS]

00:20:01 ◼   ► in a very interesting direction your [TS]

00:20:02 ◼   ► almonds say is this I got beef with [TS]

00:20:06 ◼   ► people buying furniture that is the [TS]

00:20:09 ◼   ► wrong scale for a room oh god me too [TS]

00:20:12 ◼   ► I had very very dear dear friends who I [TS]

00:20:15 ◼   ► don't know if they thought it was gonna [TS]

00:20:17 ◼   ► fit in that room you it ends up like [TS]

00:20:20 ◼   ► you're like you're playing trains with [TS]

00:20:22 ◼   ► two different scales and like they got a [TS]

00:20:24 ◼   ► big giant poufy secretary you can't like [TS]

00:20:26 ◼   ► a Totoro chair that three people can sit [TS]

00:20:29 ◼   ► in and it's in one of these rooms in a [TS]

00:20:31 ◼   ► San Francisco flat like an 800 square [TS]

00:20:33 ◼   ► foot flat and you're like oh dude [TS]

00:20:34 ◼   ► there's just this is wrong so ours is a [TS]

00:20:37 ◼   ► very like probably from the 60s or 70s [TS]

00:20:39 ◼   ► naugahyde couch it's very low-profile it [TS]

00:20:41 ◼   ► fits nearly perfectly into the area we [TS]

00:20:44 ◼   ► have now most of the couches we want and [TS]

00:20:45 ◼   ► look at first of all they're very costly [TS]

00:20:47 ◼   ► a couch is not a cheap thing but they're [TS]

00:20:50 ◼   ► also almost all like six inches wider or [TS]

00:20:52 ◼   ► higher than we want yep and I feel like [TS]

00:20:55 ◼   ► this is the kind of thing where you got [TS]

00:20:56 ◼   ► to visit it in the store you have to [TS]

00:20:57 ◼   ► inhabit it you bring a tape measure [TS]

00:20:59 ◼   ► maybe some 3d modeling yeah I know that [TS]

00:21:03 ◼   ► couch that's in your living room quite [TS]

00:21:05 ◼   ► well it's pretty confident it's pretty [TS]

00:21:07 ◼   ► great and you know and I want to say [TS]

00:21:09 ◼   ► that I've slept on it many times but of [TS]

00:21:11 ◼   ► course I haven't because Erik Corson [TS]

00:21:12 ◼   ► slept on it many times even stuck with [TS]

00:21:14 ◼   ► that that doesn't stay inflated yeah I [TS]

00:21:18 ◼   ► remember that bed but you know for a [TS]

00:21:21 ◼   ► long time you gave me the you actually [TS]

00:21:23 ◼   ► had a spare bed mm-hmm that was somewhat [TS]

00:21:26 ◼   ► taco shaped but it was an actual bed and [TS]

00:21:30 ◼   ► then the then the inflatable bed came [TS]

00:21:32 ◼   ► out yeah those don't those don't have [TS]

00:21:35 ◼   ► it's good it's got a lot we've gotten [TS]

00:21:37 ◼   ► better ones since then now that we've [TS]

00:21:38 ◼   ► become somewhat camping people we we [TS]

00:21:40 ◼   ► have some camping right okay so so [TS]

00:21:43 ◼   ► you're we're back to your strategy here [TS]

00:21:45 ◼   ► you already got yourself in a little bit [TS]

00:21:47 ◼   ► of a pickle with this half birthday [TS]

00:21:48 ◼   ► situation yeah you have and I I'm also [TS]

00:21:52 ◼   ► experienced what you have and this this [TS]

00:21:54 ◼   ► makes me sound like a I don't know [TS]

00:21:56 ◼   ► terrible person but but I'll do stuff [TS]

00:21:58 ◼   ► like I will keep a treat in the chamber [TS]

00:22:04 ◼   ► or maybe in the magazine better put but [TS]

00:22:06 ◼   ► I for example like a not too costly Lego [TS]

00:22:08 ◼   ► set I'll like keep around and hidden and [TS]

00:22:10 ◼   ► if there's a particularly bad day or a [TS]

00:22:12 ◼   ► particularly good day or particularly [TS]

00:22:13 ◼   ► you just did a great thing you get a [TS]

00:22:14 ◼   ► treat thing I'm able to induce a Lego [TS]

00:22:17 ◼   ► kid so I am familiar with this I don't [TS]

00:22:19 ◼   ► want to call it this stockpile of [TS]

00:22:21 ◼   ► potential presence that can be deployed [TS]

00:22:23 ◼   ► they're also great it's also good I [TS]

00:22:25 ◼   ► don't know how much you run you're gonna [TS]

00:22:26 ◼   ► run into this more and more if you [TS]

00:22:28 ◼   ► haven't already you know like say say [TS]

00:22:31 ◼   ► somehow you accidentally got two copies [TS]

00:22:33 ◼   ► of a book or there was some holiday [TS]

00:22:35 ◼   ► where you got two copies of a present or [TS]

00:22:36 ◼   ► you just whatever this kind of thing [TS]

00:22:38 ◼   ► happens especially in the Amazon [TS]

00:22:40 ◼   ► ecosystem you keep those around you know [TS]

00:22:41 ◼   ► those are great for you go to a party [TS]

00:22:43 ◼   ► last minute you find out you're going to [TS]

00:22:45 ◼   ► a birthday party you got a gift oh [TS]

00:22:47 ◼   ► that's so good yeah so you keep around [TS]

00:22:51 ◼   ► like a small nearly $10 $20 Lego set you [TS]

00:22:54 ◼   ► know mm-hmm but now you gotta exist the [TS]

00:22:56 ◼   ► urge you know it's there I I scored one [TS]

00:23:00 ◼   ► time really big on that and I and I felt [TS]

00:23:03 ◼   ► like I kind of got I got a my balloon [TS]

00:23:06 ◼   ► popped one time really big on that the [TS]

00:23:09 ◼   ► best one the one time it worked was the [TS]

00:23:11 ◼   ► the rege if ting one that you're talking [TS]

00:23:13 ◼   ► about somebody gave Marlowe a [TS]

00:23:18 ◼   ► calligraphy set when she was three we [TS]

00:23:29 ◼   ► got a calligraphy set much later and [TS]

00:23:30 ◼   ► it's extremely messy yeah I mean it's [TS]

00:23:34 ◼   ► there's not enough New York Times in the [TS]

00:23:37 ◼   ► world to accommodate the ink that it's [TS]

00:23:39 ◼   ► going to be everywhere please honey [TS]

00:23:41 ◼   ► could you please do that only at the [TS]

00:23:43 ◼   ► kitchen table please please please [TS]

00:23:45 ◼   ► yes I'm very young to get calligraphy [TS]

00:23:47 ◼   ► because also kids can't write yes no [TS]

00:23:50 ◼   ► this was the thing where she was at the [TS]

00:23:52 ◼   ► level of like put a green crayon in her [TS]

00:23:55 ◼   ► hand and she's like green [TS]

00:23:57 ◼   ► and it's like here's this calligraphy [TS]

00:23:59 ◼   ► set like thou art mine own time and it's [TS]

00:24:06 ◼   ► just like what are you doing old person [TS]

00:24:08 ◼   ► this is not three appropriate so that [TS]

00:24:11 ◼   ► went into a cupboard and I kept I kept [TS]

00:24:14 ◼   ► looking at it and I was like ah it's too [TS]

00:24:17 ◼   ► nice to give to a thrift store at the [TS]

00:24:20 ◼   ► moment because I feel like this is gonna [TS]

00:24:22 ◼   ► get and then there was a birthday and I [TS]

00:24:24 ◼   ► said this is someone else's problem now [TS]

00:24:27 ◼   ► I'm gonna put this I'm gonna wrap this [TS]

00:24:29 ◼   ► I'm gonna take this to this little boy's [TS]

00:24:32 ◼   ► birthday party well seems like something [TS]

00:24:34 ◼   ► he's pretty you know he's a pretty [TS]

00:24:35 ◼   ► delicate Lea attuned little boy he may [TS]

00:24:41 ◼   ► enjoy this and it and it came out at his [TS]

00:24:43 ◼   ► birthday party and he was surprised and [TS]

00:24:47 ◼   ► my kid was surprised that she had [TS]

00:24:49 ◼   ► thought of this wonderful gift and off [TS]

00:24:53 ◼   ► we were it was like last-minute birthday [TS]

00:24:55 ◼   ► party and it was a big success the time [TS]

00:24:58 ◼   ► I got burned was she loves my spaceman [TS]

00:25:06 ◼   ► mm-hmm my Merlin man man gifted Space [TS]

00:25:12 ◼   ► Pen could you used to give Space Pen I [TS]

00:25:15 ◼   ► did that was a that was a gift that use [TS]

00:25:17 ◼   ► the thing that I would do that's another [TS]

00:25:18 ◼   ► one of those things I stockpile doesn't [TS]

00:25:20 ◼   ► give away as a gift and I have one I [TS]

00:25:22 ◼   ► carry one in my wallet at all times [TS]

00:25:24 ◼   ► always have my space pen and she always [TS]

00:25:27 ◼   ► wants it she's like any time we go [TS]

00:25:30 ◼   ► somewhere she she never forgets it's [TS]

00:25:32 ◼   ► there and she always wants this basement [TS]

00:25:35 ◼   ► so one time I thought and it was for [TS]

00:25:40 ◼   ► some half birthday I was like I'm gonna [TS]

00:25:42 ◼   ► get her her own space pen and they make [TS]

00:25:45 ◼   ► them in purple I'm gonna get her a [TS]

00:25:48 ◼   ► purple space pen so I got one I ordered [TS]

00:25:54 ◼   ► it from Amazon dot prime right and it [TS]

00:25:59 ◼   ► didn't come in time oh come on Jon why [TS]

00:26:03 ◼   ► they crapping you- what's going on I [TS]

00:26:05 ◼   ► thought they was supposed to come the [TS]

00:26:07 ◼   ► next day edit and it never does it's [TS]

00:26:10 ◼   ► always like your thing [TS]

00:26:11 ◼   ► be here in ten days I'm like what is [TS]

00:26:13 ◼   ► this yeah we're sure to select the [TS]

00:26:14 ◼   ► problem is here's how they get you to [TS]

00:26:15 ◼   ► see you know this is might be a rookie [TS]

00:26:18 ◼   ► error it'll say on there available for [TS]

00:26:20 ◼   ► delivery today or tomorrow and then you [TS]

00:26:22 ◼   ► go to your car and you click and say [TS]

00:26:24 ◼   ► yeah I'm gonna get it you gotta remember [TS]

00:26:25 ◼   ► to go in and double-check that you [TS]

00:26:26 ◼   ► clicked the fastest free option that's [TS]

00:26:29 ◼   ► available cuz they will grab me negative [TS]

00:26:31 ◼   ► and they'll say oh yeah we just deliver [TS]

00:26:32 ◼   ► two days or whatever comes in ten days I [TS]

00:26:36 ◼   ► see that's no good that's that's no good [TS]

00:26:39 ◼   ► so this space pen went up above the [TS]

00:26:42 ◼   ► refrigerator and it was there for months [TS]

00:26:44 ◼   ► and then it was her first day of first [TS]

00:26:48 ◼   ► grade and I was like what a great [TS]

00:26:52 ◼   ► present to give on the first day of [TS]

00:26:54 ◼   ► first grade [TS]

00:26:55 ◼   ► mm-hmm and I took her all the way into [TS]

00:26:57 ◼   ► her class and oh oh no no no you know [TS]

00:27:01 ◼   ► what it was I was in New York and I flew [TS]

00:27:05 ◼   ► back because I didn't want to miss her [TS]

00:27:07 ◼   ► first day oh nice but I but I flew back [TS]

00:27:10 ◼   ► and it was the type of it was like a [TS]

00:27:12 ◼   ► flight that landed at 6:30 a.m. and her [TS]

00:27:17 ◼   ► first day of school started at 8:00 Oh [TS]

00:27:19 ◼   ► God and so I ran through the airport and [TS]

00:27:22 ◼   ► I jumped in a car and I had the car take [TS]

00:27:24 ◼   ► me directly to her school and she was [TS]

00:27:27 ◼   ► already in the school and they were [TS]

00:27:29 ◼   ► already in the classroom and she's [TS]

00:27:32 ◼   ► they're just buzzing with the energy of [TS]

00:27:36 ◼   ► the first day of school I still remember [TS]

00:27:39 ◼   ► it was so exciting [TS]

00:27:40 ◼   ► just like the smells in the wood and the [TS]

00:27:43 ◼   ► halls and oh my god yeah and then her [TS]

00:27:47 ◼   ► father arrives in the doorway of her [TS]

00:27:49 ◼   ► classroom she hasn't seen me in a week [TS]

00:27:53 ◼   ► cuz I've been in New York and I come [TS]

00:27:56 ◼   ► into the class because I am like my [TS]

00:27:58 ◼   ► father all the other parents like drop [TS]

00:28:03 ◼   ► their kids off and then stand on the [TS]

00:28:05 ◼   ► playground expectantly but I like walk [TS]

00:28:07 ◼   ► in and introduce myself to the teacher [TS]

00:28:09 ◼   ► and introduce myself to the assistant [TS]

00:28:11 ◼   ► teacher and I walk around and put my [TS]

00:28:13 ◼   ► hand on top of the head of every kid I [TS]

00:28:15 ◼   ► recognize which is like you know 14 of [TS]

00:28:18 ◼   ► the 23 kids [TS]

00:28:25 ◼   ► hey you know that you're a little [TS]

00:28:26 ◼   ► Granger your name is cracker right [TS]

00:28:31 ◼   ► probably clattering every year she's had [TS]

00:28:42 ◼   ► at least two and sometimes three Aiden's [TS]

00:28:43 ◼   ► in her class Aiden and I don't know [TS]

00:28:45 ◼   ► where that name comes from is that an [TS]

00:28:47 ◼   ► Irish name I don't know he's an American [TS]

00:28:50 ◼   ► kids they could become an Aiden Aiden [TS]

00:28:52 ◼   ► well I we have two Harper's in her life [TS]

00:28:54 ◼   ► once a girl wants a boy how about that [TS]

00:28:57 ◼   ► yeah and I never even knew that Harper [TS]

00:29:00 ◼   ► was a name you could give a kid let [TS]

00:29:01 ◼   ► alone that it was a unisex name so [TS]

00:29:05 ◼   ► touching children's heads your own [TS]

00:29:08 ◼   ► I'm hello hello and she's sitting over [TS]

00:29:10 ◼   ► in the corner watching her dad do this [TS]

00:29:12 ◼   ► like walk around where you know and I'm [TS]

00:29:16 ◼   ► like I'm lifting up tapestries and [TS]

00:29:18 ◼   ► looking on what's behind them and I'm [TS]

00:29:20 ◼   ► open and it's like what's going on okay [TS]

00:29:24 ◼   ► this this class passes muster and I [TS]

00:29:26 ◼   ► finally make it over to my little girl [TS]

00:29:28 ◼   ► and I say sweetie I have a present for [TS]

00:29:32 ◼   ► you and she's like what but but her eyes [TS]

00:29:36 ◼   ► are barely focusing and I hand her this [TS]

00:29:40 ◼   ► purple space pen which I have been [TS]

00:29:42 ◼   ► hoarding for at least six months and she [TS]

00:29:48 ◼   ► opens it up and she's just like Oh [TS]

00:29:52 ◼   ► anyway daddy I would like you to leave [TS]

00:29:54 ◼   ► now [TS]

00:29:54 ◼   ► oh no so it begins well that's a one-two [TS]

00:29:58 ◼   ► punch yeah and I'm gonna to the in [TS]

00:30:01 ◼   ► gratitude pairs nicely with the [TS]

00:30:03 ◼   ► dismissal oh well yeah just like [TS]

00:30:05 ◼   ► dismissed already out but the purple [TS]

00:30:09 ◼   ► space pen here's the here's the [TS]

00:30:11 ◼   ► devastating part the purple space pen [TS]

00:30:12 ◼   ► just sort of disappeared I have never [TS]

00:30:14 ◼   ► seen it since and she continues to ask [TS]

00:30:19 ◼   ► for my space pen and I don't want to be [TS]

00:30:22 ◼   ► the dad that's like what ever happened [TS]

00:30:24 ◼   ► to your space pen so I dutifully hand my [TS]

00:30:27 ◼   ► space pen over at at times and I'm [TS]

00:30:31 ◼   ► always trying to get her to like carry a [TS]

00:30:33 ◼   ► bag that's got all of her stuff in your [TS]

00:30:36 ◼   ► mouth to God's ear [TS]

00:30:38 ◼   ► she doesn't she's not able to know [TS]

00:30:41 ◼   ► that's basically you're a pocket with a [TS]

00:30:43 ◼   ► checkbook you just walk around there [TS]

00:30:45 ◼   ► you're a pack mule like it's just your [TS]

00:30:47 ◼   ► job to carry all the things this whole [TS]

00:30:50 ◼   ► organization that's gonna think about [TS]

00:30:51 ◼   ► where things get looking no you know [TS]

00:30:53 ◼   ► what let's not carry a poster when we go [TS]

00:30:56 ◼   ► to the grocery store what why are we [TS]

00:30:58 ◼   ► bringing a poster to the grocery store [TS]

00:31:00 ◼   ► and who's gonna have to end up carrying [TS]

00:31:01 ◼   ► it [TS]

00:31:01 ◼   ► spoiler alert not you yeah a poster oh [TS]

00:31:06 ◼   ► just the craziest stuff and just the [TS]

00:31:08 ◼   ► impractical pret impractical shoes and [TS]

00:31:10 ◼   ► then when she does get it back it's like [TS]

00:31:12 ◼   ► a fancy bag you can't even put anything [TS]

00:31:14 ◼   ► in just don't she's way better at that [TS]

00:31:16 ◼   ► she we got to finally got her if she [TS]

00:31:17 ◼   ► said we said when she got into fourth [TS]

00:31:18 ◼   ► grade she could have a roller backpack [TS]

00:31:20 ◼   ► and you know like Crate & Barrel makes [TS]

00:31:22 ◼   ► these really nice backpack so that every [TS]

00:31:24 ◼   ► kid whenever you see those backpacks [TS]

00:31:25 ◼   ► everybody has it's usually a Crate and [TS]

00:31:27 ◼   ► Barrel the great backpack roller [TS]

00:31:28 ◼   ► backpack and now that's that's that's [TS]

00:31:31 ◼   ► the locus of all activity but I feel you [TS]

00:31:34 ◼   ► well the Impractical shoes I can't stand [TS]

00:31:36 ◼   ► oh well that's not to be in your bonnet [TS]

00:31:39 ◼   ► but I'm like like a mini we're gonna be [TS]

00:31:40 ◼   ► on Muni and you're gonna you're gonna [TS]

00:31:43 ◼   ► have San Francisco all over your feet [TS]

00:31:45 ◼   ► think about how much San Francisco you [TS]

00:31:47 ◼   ► want well you're gonna wear sparkly [TS]

00:31:48 ◼   ► shoes with no socks is that really what [TS]

00:31:50 ◼   ► you is that really what you want on your [TS]

00:31:51 ◼   ► feet for two hours Seattle is cold and [TS]

00:31:54 ◼   ► rainy all winter long will be you leave [TS]

00:31:58 ◼   ► your house you know you plan ahead leave [TS]

00:32:00 ◼   ► the house like there's gonna be a [TS]

00:32:01 ◼   ► fucking tsunami yeah because there will [TS]

00:32:04 ◼   ► be a tsunami you'll be ankled tomorrow [TS]

00:32:07 ◼   ► you're gonna be glad you brought a [TS]

00:32:08 ◼   ► jacket one day one day on my deathbed [TS]

00:32:10 ◼   ► you will come to me and you'll say I'm [TS]

00:32:11 ◼   ► so glad I bought a jacket I should [TS]

00:32:12 ◼   ► always wear layers so her mother likes [TS]

00:32:16 ◼   ► impractical shoes and she bought her [TS]

00:32:18 ◼   ► apparently some black what I would [TS]

00:32:21 ◼   ► consider ballet slippers they called [TS]

00:32:24 ◼   ► them like nice shoes I don't like see it [TS]

00:32:26 ◼   ► yeah where it feels like how you gonna [TS]

00:32:30 ◼   ► climb a fence in those like what if hey [TS]

00:32:32 ◼   ► sweetie what if the shit goes down and [TS]

00:32:35 ◼   ► we need to March right like what if we [TS]

00:32:38 ◼   ► have to March baby [TS]

00:32:39 ◼   ► are you kidding option let me explain [TS]

00:32:40 ◼   ► something to you I learned this from [TS]

00:32:41 ◼   ► from General Eisenhower sometimes you [TS]

00:32:44 ◼   ► don't even know what is it you're [TS]

00:32:44 ◼   ► planning for right [TS]

00:32:46 ◼   ► you mean all you all I can tell you is [TS]

00:32:48 ◼   ► is again to to paraphrase eisenhower [TS]

00:32:51 ◼   ► the plan is nothing but the planning is [TS]

00:32:52 ◼   ► everything I don't know what you're [TS]

00:32:54 ◼   ► gonna face if there is a zombie [TS]

00:32:56 ◼   ► apocalypse and I'm not saying it's gonna [TS]

00:32:58 ◼   ► happen today but if there is some kind [TS]

00:33:00 ◼   ► of a virus that goes on all throughout [TS]

00:33:01 ◼   ► King County is that really the shoes you [TS]

00:33:03 ◼   ► want to be wearing is that the sugar [TS]

00:33:04 ◼   ► warning so when that when the [TS]

00:33:06 ◼   ► searchlights are in the sky and like and [TS]

00:33:16 ◼   ► you're you and your dad arrives in your [TS]

00:33:18 ◼   ► at your school and everyone else is just [TS]

00:33:21 ◼   ► the it's blackout conditions and they're [TS]

00:33:23 ◼   ► all wide-eyed and staring cabinet they [TS]

00:33:26 ◼   ► grab their small bag that's packed they [TS]

00:33:28 ◼   ► flip it over the shoulder and the REA [TS]

00:33:29 ◼   ► it's like it's like battle royale you [TS]

00:33:31 ◼   ► get your weapon II just start running [TS]

00:33:32 ◼   ► let's go we're headed to the mountains [TS]

00:33:35 ◼   ► and I sent her to school in Boots and I [TS]

00:33:38 ◼   ► pick her up and she's in these little [TS]

00:33:41 ◼   ► fucking flats or these little black and [TS]

00:33:44 ◼   ► I'm like where did those even come from [TS]

00:33:45 ◼   ► and she says you have tea served to you [TS]

00:33:50 ◼   ► in there and they're tucked into her [TS]

00:33:53 ◼   ► back and I and the first thing she says [TS]

00:33:56 ◼   ► to me is will you carry my boots will I [TS]

00:34:02 ◼   ► carry your boots how did these little [TS]

00:34:04 ◼   ► things even get out when did you make [TS]

00:34:06 ◼   ► this decision and I said to her did you [TS]

00:34:10 ◼   ► wear your boots today or did you wear [TS]

00:34:11 ◼   ► these little things and she's like oh I [TS]

00:34:13 ◼   ► wore my boots all day I just changed [TS]

00:34:14 ◼   ► into and I'm like uh-huh [TS]

00:34:16 ◼   ► I don't even know if I buy that yeah [TS]

00:34:19 ◼   ► butter wouldn't melt in your mouth give [TS]

00:34:21 ◼   ► me a break so so so anyway it's a copy [TS]

00:34:27 ◼   ► for the pen it's been a big deal you're [TS]

00:34:29 ◼   ► ready and I know this feeling this [TS]

00:34:30 ◼   ► feeling of like oh oh boy I'm gonna kill [TS]

00:34:32 ◼   ► it with this one cuz this is the thing I [TS]

00:34:33 ◼   ► know finally there's something you're [TS]

00:34:35 ◼   ► gonna treasure you're gonna take care of [TS]

00:34:38 ◼   ► it's gonna be giving you the watch [TS]

00:34:40 ◼   ► that's been in this guy's ass this is [TS]

00:34:42 ◼   ► gonna be something treasure for the rest [TS]

00:34:43 ◼   ► of your life purple space pen first day [TS]

00:34:45 ◼   ► of school dad comes in touches kids [TS]

00:34:47 ◼   ► heads gives you a space pen you're gonna [TS]

00:34:48 ◼   ► have that at graduation you'll give it [TS]

00:34:50 ◼   ► back that's right in tears first day of [TS]

00:34:52 ◼   ► first grade I'm this thing's gonna be [TS]

00:34:53 ◼   ► all battered and dent dented by the time [TS]

00:34:56 ◼   ► you go off to law school or whatever and [TS]

00:34:59 ◼   ► this will be the one that you sign the [TS]

00:35:01 ◼   ► bill that allows [TS]

00:35:03 ◼   ► you know that allows lizards to have [TS]

00:35:06 ◼   ► full rights in the United States what if [TS]

00:35:08 ◼   ► that's the what if that's the pen that [TS]

00:35:09 ◼   ► she uses to sign in into a law to keep [TS]

00:35:12 ◼   ► moving and get out of the way act ah see [TS]

00:35:15 ◼   ► the purple space pen that she says and [TS]

00:35:17 ◼   ► she says to the the assembled group as I [TS]

00:35:21 ◼   ► son this keep moving and get out of the [TS]

00:35:22 ◼   ► way acts I used the pen that my father [TS]

00:35:25 ◼   ► gave me on the first day of first grade [TS]

00:35:26 ◼   ► when he went around embarrassing me I'll [TS]

00:35:28 ◼   ► never forget it I've kept it by my side [TS]

00:35:30 ◼   ► every day yeah [TS]

00:35:32 ◼   ► and instead it's just like it went into [TS]

00:35:33 ◼   ► the bottom of a bag and never saw it [TS]

00:35:35 ◼   ► again because she's got 40 bags Jesus [TS]

00:35:37 ◼   ► and the thing is I used to go into the [TS]

00:35:39 ◼   ► Filson restoration department because I [TS]

00:35:42 ◼   ► knew all the little bag makers and we [TS]

00:35:45 ◼   ► would sit and talk about the bag that I [TS]

00:35:47 ◼   ► was gonna have custom-made for her a [TS]

00:35:50 ◼   ► custom Filson bag and they used to say [TS]

00:35:53 ◼   ► like well what if we sourced some sale [TS]

00:35:57 ◼   ► cloth from like the the USS Constitution [TS]

00:36:00 ◼   ► and I was like I don't know if that's [TS]

00:36:02 ◼   ► enough I don't know if that's good [TS]

00:36:04 ◼   ► enough do you have any you have any [TS]

00:36:05 ◼   ► cloth that that actually went to the [TS]

00:36:07 ◼   ► Yukon that you've been keeping in some [TS]

00:36:10 ◼   ► backroom and they're like let's let us [TS]

00:36:12 ◼   ► check you know and I would sit and say [TS]

00:36:15 ◼   ► like well when you get in a special [TS]

00:36:17 ◼   ► bunch of leather that's been dyed purple [TS]

00:36:19 ◼   ► give me a call and I did that until the [TS]

00:36:23 ◼   ► people that went that worked in the [TS]

00:36:24 ◼   ► Phils and restoration store ended up [TS]

00:36:26 ◼   ► going to work for Patagonia and a whole [TS]

00:36:28 ◼   ► bunch of new characters are there now [TS]

00:36:30 ◼   ► okay and I'm cultivating them but I keep [TS]

00:36:33 ◼   ► thinking about that space pen and I'm [TS]

00:36:35 ◼   ► like I'm gonna I'm gonna hand her this [TS]

00:36:37 ◼   ► this Filson bag that I had custom-made [TS]

00:36:40 ◼   ► one-of-a-kind one-of-a-kind and it's [TS]

00:36:42 ◼   ► like what if we took the you know what [TS]

00:36:44 ◼   ► if we took be like classic book bag but [TS]

00:36:47 ◼   ► we combined elements of the 256 and you [TS]

00:36:50 ◼   ► know and I realize like oh that's only [TS]

00:36:53 ◼   ► what I'm thinking that's only what I [TS]

00:36:55 ◼   ► care about she'll throw that into a pile [TS]

00:36:57 ◼   ► with a bunch of other bags and say like [TS]

00:36:59 ◼   ► it's too heavy [TS]

00:37:00 ◼   ► I'm gonna put my purple space pen in and [TS]

00:37:02 ◼   ► then throw it into a furnace so I don't [TS]

00:37:06 ◼   ► know what I don't know what to do I just [TS]

00:37:07 ◼   ► have to keep I just have to keep buying [TS]

00:37:09 ◼   ► or Supergirl costumes and hope that one [TS]

00:37:11 ◼   ► day I get it right yeah [TS]

00:37:13 ◼   ► but I don't know what's your big present [TS]

00:37:16 ◼   ► gonna be this year you get a you need a [TS]

00:37:17 ◼   ► big one you know you need a big one you [TS]

00:37:19 ◼   ► need a bang or you know part of the [TS]

00:37:22 ◼   ► thing is this is bigger baby boo boo [TS]

00:37:26 ◼   ► there are certain franchises and types [TS]

00:37:31 ◼   ► of toys then she only seems to think [TS]

00:37:37 ◼   ► about when it's time for a present [TS]

00:37:39 ◼   ► giving occasion not exclusively but like [TS]

00:37:43 ◼   ► her her her aunt gave her an American [TS]

00:37:46 ◼   ► Girl doll a few years ago which is this [TS]

00:37:47 ◼   ► really costly really nice at all and she [TS]

00:37:49 ◼   ► likes the doll she takes good care of [TS]

00:37:51 ◼   ► the doll but like she's not it's she's [TS]

00:37:54 ◼   ► not it's not like minecraft it's not [TS]

00:37:56 ◼   ► something she's doing like looking [TS]

00:37:57 ◼   ► forward to doing everyday but then right [TS]

00:38:00 ◼   ► around the into November she's like up [TS]

00:38:02 ◼   ► you know you know auntie Susie know [TS]

00:38:07 ◼   ► about time to get some more maybe get an [TS]

00:38:09 ◼   ► American Girl ski set with a little [TS]

00:38:11 ◼   ► broken leg and all that stuff you know [TS]

00:38:15 ◼   ► and you know that's weird right now she [TS]

00:38:19 ◼   ► like like so many kids her age are just [TS]

00:38:21 ◼   ► obsessed with all these little branded [TS]

00:38:23 ◼   ► plastic things you get the sound Oh like [TS]

00:38:25 ◼   ► you get on my couch cheese but there's [TS]

00:38:29 ◼   ► Minnie so I don't know if it still [TS]

00:38:30 ◼   ► wasn't shopkins that kicked his other [TS]

00:38:32 ◼   ► shopkins which you would love it's a [TS]

00:38:34 ◼   ► small toy about buying things pure no [TS]

00:38:37 ◼   ► she came to me and said shopkins and I [TS]

00:38:39 ◼   ► was like shopkins is a restaurant in New [TS]

00:38:41 ◼   ► York City where the guy yells at you oh [TS]

00:38:43 ◼   ► right you got a big dude give you a [TS]

00:38:44 ◼   ► corned beef sandwich well there's those [TS]

00:38:46 ◼   ► things and and and right now she's [TS]

00:38:49 ◼   ► really into these like squishy things [TS]

00:38:51 ◼   ► like a squishy cinnamon bun you can have [TS]

00:38:53 ◼   ► a squishy popcorn box that's very [TS]

00:38:55 ◼   ► popular in her her retinue but yeah but [TS]

00:38:58 ◼   ► I but of course you know I'm I'm trying [TS]

00:39:00 ◼   ► not to inject too much of myself into it [TS]

00:39:02 ◼   ► because you know it's the the festival [TS]

00:39:05 ◼   ► of lights and whatnot and then I don't [TS]

00:39:07 ◼   ► want I want to keep my purple pen out of [TS]

00:39:09 ◼   ► the situation so you're not gonna you're [TS]

00:39:13 ◼   ► not gonna get her like a Wilberforce car [TS]

00:39:15 ◼   ► or something no [TS]

00:39:17 ◼   ► Shh no no no no I know the world [TS]

00:39:23 ◼   ► Wilberforce mobile i I have so I'm [TS]

00:39:26 ◼   ► pretty good my wife is great at the [TS]

00:39:29 ◼   ► stocking stuffer thing she's very very [TS]

00:39:30 ◼   ► good at that I think she buys a little [TS]

00:39:32 ◼   ► too much and she overfill them a little [TS]

00:39:33 ◼   ► bit but that's the right kind of problem [TS]

00:39:35 ◼   ► I'm pretty great at the middle-sized [TS]

00:39:39 ◼   ► present so my wife is awesome at the I [TS]

00:39:42 ◼   ► mean she's good lots of stuff but one of [TS]

00:39:43 ◼   ► the things she takes care a lot of like [TS]

00:39:45 ◼   ► the small stuff and the stocking [TS]

00:39:46 ◼   ► stuffers and when I say stocking [TS]

00:39:47 ◼   ► stuffers I'm talking about like you know [TS]

00:39:49 ◼   ► there could be some really cool stuff [TS]

00:39:51 ◼   ► and some skincare products and some toys [TS]

00:39:53 ◼   ► and lots of candy and something about [TS]

00:39:54 ◼   ► she's great at that I'm good at the [TS]

00:39:56 ◼   ► mediums I'm good at the $30 Lego box I'm [TS]

00:40:00 ◼   ► good at the electronics kit level of [TS]

00:40:04 ◼   ► stuff you know you're 20 to $60 range [TS]

00:40:07 ◼   ► gift not to make this about dollars and [TS]

00:40:09 ◼   ► cents but you know the medium size the [TS]

00:40:11 ◼   ► like a pretty good pretty good present [TS]

00:40:13 ◼   ► like nobody's gonna turn down a lego [TS]

00:40:15 ◼   ► creator set that's aggressive great set [TS]

00:40:17 ◼   ► yeah but then I struggle with the big [TS]

00:40:20 ◼   ► one cuz the big one does not always [TS]

00:40:21 ◼   ► endure the big one frequently reflects [TS]

00:40:23 ◼   ► the aspirations about the future and the [TS]

00:40:27 ◼   ► memories of the past of the parent and I [TS]

00:40:30 ◼   ► think you're saying well my mom [TS]

00:40:34 ◼   ► traditionally filled our stockings with [TS]

00:40:37 ◼   ► walnuts and oranges oh that's so nice [TS]

00:40:43 ◼   ► and then at the very top of the stocking [TS]

00:40:45 ◼   ► there were a couple of what you would [TS]

00:40:46 ◼   ► normally call stocking stuffers but [TS]

00:40:48 ◼   ► mostly it was walnuts where you would [TS]

00:40:52 ◼   ► then have a nutcracker [TS]

00:40:53 ◼   ► and you would sit during Christmas and [TS]

00:40:56 ◼   ► crack walnuts which none of us liked [TS]

00:40:59 ◼   ► like the only one in the whole house [TS]

00:41:02 ◼   ► that liked walnuts was my mom because [TS]

00:41:05 ◼   ► it's such an old old person some hard [TS]

00:41:10 ◼   ► candies polishes off for you oh and like [TS]

00:41:17 ◼   ► fill verts and stuff like so now when [TS]

00:41:26 ◼   ► it's Christmas time and I'm filling [TS]

00:41:29 ◼   ► stockings now believe me I am NOT [TS]

00:41:31 ◼   ► like recapitulating this problem by [TS]

00:41:34 ◼   ► filling her stocking with filbert's but [TS]

00:41:37 ◼   ► my mom arrives and she's got her like [TS]

00:41:41 ◼   ► her nuts from 1820 she's like you know [TS]

00:41:48 ◼   ► let's get these nuts into those [TS]

00:41:49 ◼   ► stockings nation you know like I was a [TS]

00:41:53 ◼   ► kid that was already wearing Dickensian [TS]

00:41:56 ◼   ► clothes like I I could at least get get [TS]

00:42:00 ◼   ► close to the idea that we would put [TS]

00:42:03 ◼   ► another charcoal on the fire and Scrooge [TS]

00:42:05 ◼   ► would get mad but she is my kid is so [TS]

00:42:09 ◼   ► far away from a filbert this but there [TS]

00:42:12 ◼   ► they are in the stocking she just looks [TS]

00:42:14 ◼   ► at him like I think they're dried pieces [TS]

00:42:17 ◼   ► of shit which is what they look like [TS]

00:42:18 ◼   ► yeah so there are some Christmas [TS]

00:42:22 ◼   ► traditions yeah I did want to talk about [TS]

00:42:24 ◼   ► this don't tell me you're weird we can [TS]

00:42:26 ◼   ► tell me your normal ones but I'd love to [TS]

00:42:27 ◼   ► hear do you have any weird holiday [TS]

00:42:30 ◼   ► especially Christmas traditions in your [TS]

00:42:32 ◼   ► family well there are some good ones [TS]

00:42:36 ◼   ► that the top Christmas tradition in my [TS]

00:42:39 ◼   ► estimation is that it's the one day a [TS]

00:42:41 ◼   ► year that my mom will make me Welsh [TS]

00:42:45 ◼   ► rarebit cheesy toast [TS]

00:42:48 ◼   ► cheesy toast but we put ham we put a [TS]

00:42:52 ◼   ► slice of ham on it all sounds yummy it's [TS]

00:42:57 ◼   ► homemade biscuits and then you take the [TS]

00:43:00 ◼   ► biscuits and you cut them in half like [TS]

00:43:01 ◼   ► you do with a biscuit but you lay the [TS]

00:43:03 ◼   ► biscuits out on the plate and then you [TS]

00:43:06 ◼   ► cover the biscuits with ham and then you [TS]

00:43:08 ◼   ► cover the whole thing with cheese sauce [TS]

00:43:10 ◼   ► oh that sounds so good [TS]

00:43:12 ◼   ► and if you're crazy used to have a [TS]

00:43:15 ◼   ► version of that when I was a kid they [TS]

00:43:17 ◼   ► did that's right we always had a [TS]

00:43:19 ◼   ► homemade real Welsh rarebit if you're [TS]

00:43:21 ◼   ► crazy you can put a fried egg on top of [TS]

00:43:24 ◼   ► the ham shit on and then cover the whole [TS]

00:43:26 ◼   ► thing with cheese sauce and this is a [TS]

00:43:29 ◼   ► meal right they you could make this meal [TS]

00:43:33 ◼   ► every morning you can make this meal 250 [TS]

00:43:37 ◼   ► times a year on the continuum of special [TS]

00:43:40 ◼   ► foods foods that's on the very that's [TS]

00:43:44 ◼   ► pretty I mean love leaving out filbert's [TS]

00:43:46 ◼   ► that is a that is a fairly not difficult [TS]

00:43:50 ◼   ► meal to make it's not that hard to treat [TS]

00:43:53 ◼   ► but she will only make it on Christmas [TS]

00:43:57 ◼   ► morning it's the only time I've ever [TS]

00:43:59 ◼   ► seen it in my life but I have it every [TS]

00:44:03 ◼   ► Christmas and I think I'm the only one [TS]

00:44:06 ◼   ► that likes it Wow who-who the hell what [TS]

00:44:09 ◼   ► the hell kid wants Welsh rarebit it's [TS]

00:44:12 ◼   ► like one more Dickensian weird and she [TS]

00:44:15 ◼   ► puts a little tiny little bit of mustard [TS]

00:44:18 ◼   ► in the cheese sauce mmm it's like a [TS]

00:44:20 ◼   ► crazy thing to fetishize she's lawyer [TS]

00:44:24 ◼   ► you that's so nice yeah I look forward [TS]

00:44:26 ◼   ► to Welsh rarebit every Christmas morning [TS]

00:44:28 ◼   ► and she and she makes it you know and [TS]

00:44:31 ◼   ► it's not a thing where I have to say [TS]

00:44:32 ◼   ► like it's Christmas gonna get the world [TS]

00:44:35 ◼   ► remember it just shows up on Christmas [TS]

00:44:37 ◼   ► morning she knows that that is Christmas [TS]

00:44:39 ◼   ► meal and it's not like we have a roast [TS]

00:44:43 ◼   ► or a turkey or a ham or anything on [TS]

00:44:45 ◼   ► Christmas dinner it is the Christmas [TS]

00:44:47 ◼   ► meal right that's not so good I love [TS]

00:44:51 ◼   ► these things and I love that it's like [TS]

00:44:53 ◼   ► you know really to your point though [TS]

00:44:55 ◼   ► about starting to have birthday thing [TS]

00:44:56 ◼   ► that starts out as this casual thing [TS]

00:44:58 ◼   ► it's interesting how many of these kinds [TS]

00:44:59 ◼   ► of things start as a a mistake or a lark [TS]

00:45:03 ◼   ► or as some kind of like an accident and [TS]

00:45:05 ◼   ► then that becomes part of the that [TS]

00:45:07 ◼   ► becomes some of my favorite rituals are [TS]

00:45:09 ◼   ► the things that started out as a stupid [TS]

00:45:10 ◼   ► thing yeah I think one of our rituals is [TS]

00:45:13 ◼   ► on Easter when we have the Easter egg [TS]

00:45:15 ◼   ► hunt then we go in and we are like post [TS]

00:45:19 ◼   ► Easter egg hunt and then we go out and [TS]

00:45:20 ◼   ► we hide all the Easter eggs again like [TS]

00:45:23 ◼   ► like then and then the child or the [TS]

00:45:27 ◼   ► children are also in involved in the [TS]

00:45:31 ◼   ► Easter Egg hiding then so then they get [TS]

00:45:35 ◼   ► to go out and hide all their eggs again [TS]

00:45:36 ◼   ► and then all afternoon on Easter we just [TS]

00:45:42 ◼   ► hide and then find and then hide again [TS]

00:45:45 ◼   ► we just are hiding eggs aw laughter you [TS]

00:45:47 ◼   ► have so many simple pleasures in your [TS]

00:45:49 ◼   ► life it's a very small thing but every [TS]

00:45:52 ◼   ► kid they don't just want to find the [TS]

00:45:55 ◼   ► eggs they want [TS]

00:45:56 ◼   ► then go mr. bunny themselves I like that [TS]

00:45:59 ◼   ► my daughter's my daughter's Welsh [TS]

00:46:02 ◼   ► rarebit is she's allowed to have Lucky [TS]

00:46:04 ◼   ► Charms [TS]

00:46:05 ◼   ► once a year which is on her birthday no [TS]

00:46:08 ◼   ► that's amazing [TS]

00:46:10 ◼   ► yeah well there's this thing I picked [TS]

00:46:11 ◼   ► the based of a friend I used to work [TS]

00:46:12 ◼   ► with in Florida it's this wonderful [TS]

00:46:13 ◼   ► woman named Tracy who loved her cats and [TS]

00:46:16 ◼   ► she she loved her cats so much she had [TS]

00:46:18 ◼   ► something called Jubilee Jubilee week [TS]

00:46:25 ◼   ► and Jubilee week is the one week to [TS]

00:46:28 ◼   ► celebrate what she has decided are the [TS]

00:46:30 ◼   ► cats they're rescues but the two cats [TS]

00:46:32 ◼   ► that she's decided it's their birthday [TS]

00:46:33 ◼   ► and so every night she she and her [TS]

00:46:36 ◼   ► boyfriend would have like special events [TS]

00:46:37 ◼   ► for the cats and I thought it was I [TS]

00:46:40 ◼   ► first thought that was a little unusual [TS]

00:46:41 ◼   ► but that's a great I thought that's a [TS]

00:46:43 ◼   ► great idea I love the idea of Jubilee [TS]

00:46:45 ◼   ► so now somehow at some point Jubilee [TS]

00:46:48 ◼   ► became introduced as a concept in our [TS]

00:46:50 ◼   ► household that now has been heavily [TS]

00:46:53 ◼   ► exploited and abused to me Oh [TS]

00:46:59 ◼   ► coming up it's Jubilee you can stay up a [TS]

00:47:01 ◼   ► little bit later you know Jubilee is [TS]

00:47:06 ◼   ► like it's not just that we're [TS]

00:47:08 ◼   ► celebrating the coronation of the Queen [TS]

00:47:09 ◼   ► it's like an entire like you know it's [TS]

00:47:13 ◼   ► not an annus but it's at least like a [TS]

00:47:15 ◼   ► week of specialists about celebration so [TS]

00:47:17 ◼   ► so technically like at the beginning of [TS]

00:47:19 ◼   ► birthday Jubilee week she gets to go [TS]

00:47:22 ◼   ► through like a box of Lucky Charms but [TS]

00:47:23 ◼   ► you just started out simply enough as no [TS]

00:47:26 ◼   ► you can't have this garbage cereal ever [TS]

00:47:27 ◼   ► but then it became alright you may have [TS]

00:47:29 ◼   ► it on your birthday and now it kind of [TS]

00:47:31 ◼   ► squeaks through through a lot of [TS]

00:47:32 ◼   ► birthday Jubilee week Wow but we don't [TS]

00:47:34 ◼   ► get it again my daughter's mother [TS]

00:47:36 ◼   ► believes that she that there is such a [TS]

00:47:38 ◼   ► thing first of all as a birthday month [TS]

00:47:41 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

00:47:44 ◼   ► this is how we get into this half [TS]

00:47:47 ◼   ► birthday thing but I'm talking about she [TS]

00:47:49 ◼   ► believes there's a birthday month for [TS]

00:47:50 ◼   ► her this isn't for children this is like [TS]

00:47:53 ◼   ► it's my birthday month so therefore [TS]

00:47:56 ◼   ► that's a form of Jubilee I think that's [TS]

00:47:58 ◼   ► very much a form of Jubilee well it is [TS]

00:48:00 ◼   ► except I don't endorse it I'm like [TS]

00:48:02 ◼   ► you're right except you're a full grown [TS]

00:48:06 ◼   ► what do you mean like like you get to do [TS]

00:48:09 ◼   ► this because it's your birthday month [TS]

00:48:11 ◼   ► but she's this is this is something that [TS]

00:48:13 ◼   ► her mother probably started with her [TS]

00:48:15 ◼   ► back in this 1970s and she still firmly [TS]

00:48:18 ◼   ► believes that there's but certainly [TS]

00:48:20 ◼   ► there's a birthday week mm-hmm on her [TS]

00:48:23 ◼   ► you know during her birthday week it's [TS]

00:48:24 ◼   ► just that's not negotiable no no no a [TS]

00:48:28 ◼   ► birthday month I dig my heels in but [TS]

00:48:31 ◼   ► birthday week I just have to I have to [TS]

00:48:33 ◼   ► wake up in the morning and I have to put [TS]

00:48:35 ◼   ► my what can I do for you hat on and then [TS]

00:48:37 ◼   ► it's just like I walk around with this [TS]

00:48:40 ◼   ► hat with a big like oh the big 3x5 card [TS]

00:48:43 ◼   ► in it that just says what can I do [TS]

00:48:44 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

00:48:46 ◼   ► that's one of those times when you know [TS]

00:48:49 ◼   ► there's that dumb thing men do one of [TS]

00:48:51 ◼   ► the many things dumb things men do and I [TS]

00:48:54 ◼   ► have tried so hard to stop doing this [TS]

00:48:56 ◼   ► because this is maybe the worst is the [TS]

00:48:59 ◼   ► whole like oh do you want me to do the [TS]

00:49:00 ◼   ► dishes like you do what should already [TS]

00:49:05 ◼   ► be a chore for me well yeah yeah yeah [TS]

00:49:08 ◼   ► yeah oh my god you uh you want me to uh [TS]

00:49:10 ◼   ► take the recycling down I'm like what's [TS]

00:49:13 ◼   ► she gonna say oh god no please don't [TS]

00:49:15 ◼   ► inconvenience yourself by doing the [TS]

00:49:16 ◼   ► thing that's already your job but no no [TS]

00:49:18 ◼   ► no it gets much worse than that cuz it's [TS]

00:49:20 ◼   ► so much smaller and dumber than that [TS]

00:49:22 ◼   ► which is like I want to be acknowledged [TS]

00:49:24 ◼   ► I want to be acknowledged for doing this [TS]

00:49:26 ◼   ► thing I'm supposed to do anyway don't [TS]

00:49:28 ◼   ► ask I'm just guessing when it's what can [TS]

00:49:32 ◼   ► I do for you hat week like you never [TS]

00:49:34 ◼   ► want to say something like you know oh [TS]

00:49:36 ◼   ► do you want me to pick up my socks you [TS]