0:00:06hyejeong hi Marilyn how's it going good
0:00:11this is so weird this is so weird
0:00:14there's so many people here and I can't
0:00:17get sick I cannot be sick don't blow
0:00:22your flu on Marilyn I tried to play it
0:00:25off legit but I've been fucking Howard
0:00:27Hughes all night everything is literally
0:00:30asses and literally elbows very nice to
0:00:32meet you shall we do the bump
0:00:34I made him hug me and I actually was so
0:00:38sick three days ago you were so I was so
0:00:41sick my daughter threw up on me as kids
0:00:45do I don't know it's lovely when they do
0:00:47it it's so sweet yeah when you're a
0:00:49parent cherish those moments and someone
0:00:51had been feeding her Cheetos so it was
0:00:52like a thing that was never gonna come
0:00:54out
0:00:54and then 60 hours to the minute later
0:00:59mm-hmm I felt really bad inside but
0:01:02unlike a little child I refused to throw
0:01:05up because I'm a big boy and so I fought
0:01:10it just valiantly fought it for 12
0:01:13straight hours of just like misery so
0:01:17you were on the verge that you knew that
0:01:20you could have some did you think it was
0:01:21gonna be relief or would you be so mad
0:01:23at yourself for giving up that it
0:01:24wouldn't even feel good at a certain
0:01:25point I wanted the relief and then I
0:01:28could not what about what about
0:01:30downstairs was Italian upstairs not for
0:01:32it was one of those things that could go
0:01:34either direction standing at the
0:01:35crossroads yeah and get angry cthulhu
0:01:39inside you can't decide I'll decide
0:01:41which way I'm going
0:01:42don't you worry about that the devil was
0:01:43there it wanted to look like it under
0:01:45George he came up to Manhattan and there
0:01:50were a few times where I was like this
0:01:51is it I'm gonna throw up and I went yeah
0:01:54and nothing and then finally finally at
0:01:57the end of the night I said goodbye to
0:01:59everybody good night I'll see you guys
0:02:00tomorrow
0:02:01went up to the room and the people in
0:02:04the five hotel rooms around mine all
0:02:07called the fire department
0:02:10because I was just like there appears to
0:02:15be some kind of a wraith a portal open
0:02:21to the upside down eatos you know yeah
0:02:27kids are inconsiderate about that kind
0:02:29of stuff I can't get sick it can't
0:02:32happen I've had I'm not but like I know
0:02:35how I know where this is I don't know
0:02:36where this has been the thing about the
0:02:38flu and they're saying about the H 2 & 3
0:02:40I mederma get it right getting that
0:02:42right any biologist named MH 2 & 3 thank
0:02:45you a big fan and even their last three
0:02:48albums it's a real bad one and you know
0:02:52you can't you can't inoculate against it
0:02:54it just comes and it does what it wants
0:02:56with you it takes you and it's in its
0:02:57meaty paws yes and I yeah well when the
0:03:03big flu comes when the when the disaster
0:03:06flu comes what are we going to do like I
0:03:11don't care about other people I mean us
0:03:13do you think you think we should work
0:03:15out a plan and how do we survive yeah do
0:03:17you is that one you just go home and you
0:03:19say I'm not going to work for a month
0:03:21six months I feel like the last week has
0:03:23demonstrated a lot of things about ill
0:03:25prepare how ill-prepared we are on so
0:03:27many levels in this country for so many
0:03:29different things my daughter and I had
0:03:30had a nice day at the Museum
0:03:31doot-doot-doot to do I pick up my phone
0:03:34oh my god Hawaii had this whole thing
0:03:37happened and then my favorite part of
0:03:39that was the headlines that were like
0:03:40this message accidentally went out and
0:03:43lots of people panicked I was like
0:03:45that's not panicking panic is you think
0:03:48you might be at acumen like they holy
0:03:52shit my kabobs gonna suck I need to do
0:03:55an insta card that's panicking you will
0:03:59die in 35 minutes from missile I
0:04:01wouldn't call that panicking I call it I
0:04:03talk to my daughter but it's do you
0:04:04think that's real normal if we find out
0:04:06we're gonna die in 34 minutes like yeah
0:04:08that would suck I think panic and
0:04:09fucking hard if there's one place in the
0:04:12world that should not have a nuclear
0:04:15warning system its Hawaii well how can
0:04:17we help them what are you gonna say get
0:04:19on your
0:04:20recycle and drive real fast around like
0:04:23it's coming in the roosters well shave
0:04:27the shave ice like with air everything
0:04:30is literally outside they can't get the
0:04:33can't get the roosters to stop crowing
0:04:35how are they gonna stop a bomb I didn't
0:04:37mean it in the best possible way now
0:04:38it's a ping pong there's no stopping it
0:04:40no no it's not pimple but I'm gonna run
0:04:43to a different Island if there's a tidal
0:04:45wave alarm it makes sense because
0:04:46there's always somewhere in Hawaii that
0:04:48you can go up that's right every one of
0:04:50those is an island that the Big Island
0:04:52the biggest yes this is the big it has
0:04:55the two uppers two places and all of
0:04:57Hawaii is that right yeah yeah big big
0:04:59big ups yeah but so when the when the
0:05:05tidal wave alarm goes off which is like
0:05:06wow its klaxon you're like oh yeah but
0:05:10the bomb it's like kiss your ass
0:05:14good-bye yeah yeah no that's not good so
0:05:17what you think we should have a plan so
0:05:18like we like to think we have a plan
0:05:20because if you have the earthquakes here
0:05:21in the area and that's why we had one I
0:05:27was sitting there watching Netflix is
0:05:31that a very old couch as you know
0:05:33squeaky scream a literally makes that
0:05:34same and I thought this is it this is it
0:05:38because we have not gotten reproduces
0:05:41the last time we got prepared for
0:05:42hurricane which is when we did what they
0:05:43said on NPR and we filled the emergency
0:05:46bucket which is what's your college you
0:05:48get a bucket you can get a garbage can
0:05:49you seal it you fill it full of water
0:05:51one day we went out there and literally
0:05:52everything was mildewed the water
0:05:54apparently I went into some kind of a
0:05:55Synecdoche New York fugue state and
0:05:57didn't realize that I had not checked on
0:05:59the emergency bucket for three years
0:06:01everything was blue it might as well
0:06:03have been in Hawaii none of it was good
0:06:05the bed thing the tent the fake bed the
0:06:06fake tent the faint radio all of it gone
0:06:08yeah I feel utterly unprepared I need to
0:06:10start over I need to reboot this is one
0:06:13of the things that people that are
0:06:14storing a large amounts of cash I need
0:06:18to remember well that's bad it goes bad
0:06:21okay mice like to eat cash you'll get to
0:06:25lot you get the mold in the cash you'll
0:06:27get the the lime in the coconut you get
0:06:28it all shake it all around
0:06:30and and so if you're you got it you got
0:06:32to put the cash in some into some rap
0:06:35then you could put the rap into some you
0:06:37put some you dip it in wax okay and so
0:06:40you got to protect your cash same is
0:06:42true with sous-vide things you suck it
0:06:44out take the air out that's right right
0:06:45you get your spoons your toothpicks your
0:06:47cash that's right to do with German
0:06:50bearer bonds German bearer bonds and
0:06:53coffee thing is ladies and gentlemen the
0:06:55FB I was the one who was an Eddie Murphy
0:06:59floor where they put the stuff in coffee
0:07:00so you couldn't smell the drugs wasn't
0:07:01that any Murphy thing that was the
0:07:03Beverly Hills Cop okay then what was the
0:07:05German what was the German bearer bonds
0:07:06that was that like every other move oh
0:07:08that was the greatest Christmas movie of
0:07:10all time die hard
0:07:11now I heard that was a pretty mixed
0:07:14response man I feel like that's a meme
0:07:17and everybody's like played out played
0:07:20out meme so have you seen this have you
0:07:24seen the video the fella who gets real
0:07:25frustrated at work and he knocks over
0:07:27his computer monitor it's really quite
0:07:29funny it's called bad day my mom of
0:07:33course has a plan which is which is that
0:07:37you have to eat through your disaster
0:07:39food and be replenishing your disaster
0:07:42food in the wake of your own consumption
0:07:44of priorities almost like the power went
0:07:46out right so to shut down all the
0:07:47popsicles before the ice goes away when
0:07:50she moved out of her house she showed up
0:07:51at my house with duffel bags full of
0:07:57cornmeal and cans hey Johnny cake can't
0:08:03ya like just all this stuff that is that
0:08:05is her blend of disaster requirements to
0:08:08feed the neighborhood because she feels
0:08:11like if you feed the neighborhood that's
0:08:1360 people that won't be like Cormac
0:08:15McCarthy meets Dickens it's just gonna
0:08:17be all kinds of really unpleasant food
0:08:19that nobody wants like it's always
0:08:21emergency food you buy all this shit
0:08:24that you would never in a million you're
0:08:27like kippered sardines and you're like I
0:08:30don't even know what any of those things
0:08:31are I think she feels like if you have a
0:08:33fish fry for the neighborhood okay
0:08:35they don't assault your citadel quite as
0:08:36rapidly and maybe they
0:08:39will form a first line of defense
0:08:40against the the people in the neighbor
0:08:42and that's something to offer
0:08:44yeah so the johnnycake they're like you
0:08:46know you can't assault the Citadel of
0:08:48johnnycake lady right and then they they
0:08:50fight off the zombies for you that's her
0:08:52whole plan but she moved all that shit
0:08:55into my barn cuz she doesn't have a
0:08:56house anymore and she told your book I
0:08:59think she's in your barn sounds like
0:09:01such a fire trap at this point no no no
0:09:03does that Johnny cake won't burn burn
0:09:10[Music]
0:09:13yeah it's true everything was blue here
0:09:18did you follow me you follow me they
0:09:19tell you that you get a garbage can from
0:09:21the Home Depot that has the latches on
0:09:23it
0:09:23take it off put all your stuff in there
0:09:25that's all fake stuff the read is a
0:09:27piece of shit it's not really gonna
0:09:28charge your phone grow up
0:09:29you get to get these beds you'd never
0:09:31want to sleep when you get a tent that's
0:09:32obviously gonna be users like oh it's
0:09:33really cute
0:09:34it looks like a McDonald's bag and it's
0:09:35got a rope and like that's we're gonna
0:09:36serve families gonna sleep in that and
0:09:38then all these little things that you
0:09:39looks like you bought at the Air and
0:09:40Space Museum as a gift for a kid you
0:09:43don't like right
0:09:44oh it's astronaut ice cream whatever
0:09:46like that's your food and like none of
0:09:49that stuff's that I would eat I you know
0:09:50I look I should put like a clam chowder
0:09:52in there or something some beans
0:09:53something I would really enjoy I don't
0:09:55think I've ever had a johnnycake four
0:09:57hundred cans of chili is what's in mine
0:09:59[Laughter]
0:10:05you're gonna want it you're gonna want
0:10:07to not go there forever this is Ben this
0:10:13is just to be clear this is the cans are
0:10:15blue they're live literally been in a
0:10:17garbage can
0:10:17since it's the old it's are you familiar
0:10:20with the jim bakker buckets the jim
0:10:23bakker buckets I am familiar with Jim
0:10:24Baker buckets I know Jim Baker from back
0:10:26in the day from Jim and Tammy Lee Jim
0:10:29Tammy Faye Tammy Faye Tammy Lee Who am I
0:10:31thinking of who wants to stand by your
0:10:32man Jim Baker
0:10:33Tammy Lee had a television show and she
0:10:35was married oh she was married to Regis
0:10:38Philbin okay I know he made Regis
0:10:40Philbin leave Tammy who was in fact the
0:10:44winningest General of the Civil War
0:10:47give me that again we just openly we
0:10:51just felt been late yeah okay something
0:10:53either would run through the airports
0:10:54and the commercials that was that's BJ
0:10:57BJ from Sausalito no he had the bear
0:11:00okay PJ PJ Honeycutt in his best friend
0:11:03Bear okay I remember that story that was
0:11:04a good story but you know Jim and Tammy
0:11:07and you and but that didn't extend to
0:11:09knowing the buckets or just lost it for
0:11:11a while I lost Cena yeah I was coming up
0:11:14at a time when there was it was big
0:11:15pastor as we used to call it and this
0:11:17was when I looked in Sarasota there was
0:11:19a guy who who owned a dog track near
0:11:22where I went to school I'm going
0:11:23somewhere with this gather round
0:11:25children this is the guy when Oral
0:11:28Roberts said that if he didn't get hush
0:11:30money from somebody God would take him
0:11:33and this guy I think gave him some money
0:11:35because of that he had your Jim Baker's
0:11:37he had your Jimmy Swaggart you had your
0:11:39ernest angley who liked to heal people
0:11:40by not gonna over kind of heavy guy he
0:11:42had that now Jim Baker today I lost the
0:11:44thread for awhile now he's back he's got
0:11:45no hair a beard in a bucket that's right
0:11:47and he's selling buckets right and left
0:11:48if anybody doesn't know he's a prepper
0:11:50is it he's prepping he's a prepping he's
0:11:52prepping
0:11:53I think he's prepping for I'm not sure
0:11:55what he's prepping for it seems like he
0:11:57maybe he leaves that part out
0:11:58how's your eschatology my eschatology
0:12:01yeah I mean are you like pretty good
0:12:03with understanding how the end days work
0:12:04oh yeah pretty much I mean I'm assuming
0:12:07they're know about the millennium I know
0:12:09about okay you know that one that
0:12:10already went and she stole your
0:12:13underwear no no I mean after that I mean
0:12:17after the rat come on any Church of
0:12:20Christ in the house you got so first you
0:12:23can you guys you got your ass get this
0:12:25rapture over here all of a sudden their
0:12:27answer whole bunch of plants like Toyota
0:12:29Tacomas are empty pants pants pants
0:12:31that's crying girl pants pants pants
0:12:33pants pants
0:12:34old pervert right but the pants are down
0:12:37everybody's gone that is the first wave
0:12:39is gonna trigger the first elevator to
0:12:41have them take some up now I'm trying
0:12:42might have the order a little mixed up
0:12:43LeMat a little behind masks atala G I
0:12:45think there's a time though you have
0:12:47visitors like that there's help me out
0:12:48on this I know eventually you got heaven
0:12:50and in between you got the Millennium
0:12:51you got was a thousand years on earth
0:12:54that's right I get this is the sign of
0:12:55the beast
0:12:56right
0:12:57right so if all of their collectively
0:12:59just go suck Sarah and then there's the
0:13:01disco comes back and a lot of people
0:13:03don't like new orders technically a
0:13:04disco ban but a lot of that was very it
0:13:06was very homophobic well it wasn't just
0:13:08about baseball they were named after
0:13:10comfort women is that right now what do
0:13:12i division well the event yeah third
0:13:15base now the thing is I don't know what
0:13:17kind of prepping is is it a doomsday
0:13:18prep an apocalypse prep whatever it is
0:13:20you're gonna have your beans you're
0:13:21gonna have your fake tent you're you're
0:13:23grinding radio what's gym bigger put in
0:13:26one of those Bibles my assumption is
0:13:28that they are that there are more
0:13:30Calvinists about it and they feel like
0:13:32they're the elect right so they're gone
0:13:34in the first wave so I don't know what
0:13:36they're prepping for maybe they're
0:13:37leaving that for their cousins and stuff
0:13:39that didn't actually a super good idea
0:13:42if you're making your own bucket if you
0:13:43roll your own for your bucket your house
0:13:45stuff that you enjoy in it hmm maybe
0:13:48there's a White Ribbon bucket it's for
0:13:49the people you don't like maybe so much
0:13:51my question for you is once you've found
0:13:53the blue bucket once you've found your
0:13:54bucket hot-glue mmm
0:13:56did you just abandon the whole idea
0:13:58you're like a fucking it's so easy when
0:14:00you're not thinking about it and then
0:14:01one night you're watching TV you're like
0:14:02I really need to get on this let's see
0:14:04KQED every year when we give Lana kqd
0:14:06kqed.org you can go give money they do
0:14:08good work that's right Michael Krasny
0:14:09MRA and dorks
0:14:14they actually literally they're big
0:14:16premium one eight hundred nine eight
0:14:18seven eight and they do this every year
0:14:20they go once again we are offering the
0:14:23total survival bucket this is a
0:14:26five-gallon bucket filled with
0:14:28everything that your family will need
0:14:30for three days plus a toilet seat that
0:14:35you put on to the five gallon bucket
0:14:36because presumably in the future the
0:14:39people who were left behind when they
0:14:41take your shit are going to have to
0:14:42empty five gallons worth of supplies
0:14:44that is everything I've left on the
0:14:45planet so they can shit in the bucket
0:14:46I'm guessing then you don't have water
0:14:48to clean it out maybe it comes with a
0:14:50special liner I'll have to ask KQED
0:14:52that's not a prepper thing that's just
0:14:54more like a liberal that's a liberal
0:14:56fantasy kind of thing I mean three days
0:14:58is exactly enough time to really feel
0:15:03your death
0:15:05and then rise some people could you
0:15:10allow it three days I mean I feel like
0:15:11if you what your plan needs to be how do
0:15:14I get the hell out of here for good how
0:15:16do I leave these other suckers be high
0:15:18on it just like all sit indian-style
0:15:19around a three-day bucket and life watch
0:15:22it go down the eldritch horror
0:15:28maybe we should agree that one person's
0:15:30bucket is used for this in one person's
0:15:32bucket you know that's why all those
0:15:34people in Montana have so many guns
0:15:36because they feel like our three-day
0:15:38plan is get from here to there is like
0:15:41the the guy getting chase for the tiger
0:15:43he says I don't need to be faster than
0:15:45the tiger I just need to be faster than
0:15:46you yeah that's on the Montana flag and
0:15:49there's someone shooting someone else in
0:15:51the head execution-style I was having I
0:15:52was having dim sum with Ben Harrison and
0:15:54that was his fortune cookie two days ago
0:15:57you don't have to be faster than the
0:15:58bear except it was it was one of those
0:16:01over over long fortunes I was like now I
0:16:03don't have to be faster than the bear
0:16:05you just have to be faster than your
0:16:06other friend who is not as fast as the
0:16:08mayor the lottery numbers on the back
0:16:10did have a lot of notes I got a lot of
0:16:12fucking problems with fortune cookies
0:16:14they're too long too many of them are
0:16:15aphorisms and not actual fortunes right
0:16:18or good you are a nice person
0:16:19no I'm not that's not a fortune fuck
0:16:21that there's a fortune cookie factory
0:16:23like a famous fortune cookie factory
0:16:25the fifth famous fifth famous fortune
0:16:28cookie factory in the state was
0:16:31fortunately factory yeah is in Fillmore
0:16:36450 it's it's on Fillmore San
0:16:39Francisco's Chinatown service a good
0:16:41Chinatown is that right
0:16:42yeah you can go I'm gonna get a full
0:16:45drone you get you get a tour
0:16:47[Music]
0:16:57although you're gonna pull a second Oh
0:17:00Merlin I just did a shields and Yarnell
0:17:02version of I guess making a fortune
0:17:05cookie right on his dick it was really
0:17:07weird fifth largest fortune for cooking
0:17:09factor you think that's right right in
0:17:10the Chinatown it's right there and you
0:17:12were this is city the heart of the city
0:17:13where it all converges that's right
0:17:14although a lot of people don't know this
0:17:16fortune cookie was actually a Japanese
0:17:17invent turns out yeah sorry
0:17:23there's no good asshole okay Logan
0:17:29Roderick Robinson science ruin and shit
0:17:33for me
0:17:33I thought Squatch isn't real showed up
0:17:36this is San Francisco you guys turns out
0:17:38moment at least we live for the turns
0:17:43out people want to get their money's
0:17:44probably what it turns out inside if it
0:17:46turns out inside if it turns out we want
0:17:47a full complement if you get five
0:17:49hundreds Calder Gladwell so it's a
0:17:54reason it's called hidden brain that was
0:18:01almost a kind of a wave moan if you're
0:18:07gonna decide to live when others are
0:18:09dying you're gonna have to make so you
0:18:12can have to prepare even if it's not
0:18:14strictly prepping preparing you're still
0:18:15gonna have to think ahead you got a and
0:18:17you're gonna have to like stay caught up
0:18:18you're gonna have to make this part of
0:18:19what you do in the same way that I rue
0:18:21the removal of compost from our house
0:18:23every day to go put it in the green
0:18:24bucket like you're gonna have to
0:18:26practically think about your stuff like
0:18:27that it's gonna be like having a fish if
0:18:29you want to live you need to think about
0:18:31your stash you can make sure your cash
0:18:32stays dry your fortune cookies are
0:18:34well-defined right and that your water
0:18:36is not blue and that none of your
0:18:38money's expired the number one thing you
0:18:39have to ask yourself is do you want to
0:18:43live over on the other side of the -
0:18:45apocalypse will you put into it what's
0:18:47needed in order to live well I've told
0:18:49you this story right well I used to work
0:18:51at the magazine store and there were a
0:18:53magazines about if you if you wanted to
0:18:55buy a castle in scotland and i
0:18:57absolutely wanted a castle in scotland
0:18:59it's not a thing that everybody wants
0:19:01but some people wanted that's right in
0:19:02the sweet spot let's hear a round of
0:19:04applause people who want a hot
0:19:07let's hear a round of applause from
0:19:09people who know they don't want a castle
0:19:11in scotland oh the thing about a castle
0:19:15in Scotland I wanted one I wanted one I
0:19:16wanted one and then I started you know
0:19:18populating my imaginary Castle in
0:19:20Scotland with all the things you're
0:19:21gonna put in there a big billiard
0:19:23mysteries you're gonna buy you're gonna
0:19:25buy a lot of chandeliers put them
0:19:26everywhere you're gonna have like the
0:19:29Hall of chandeliers you might have to
0:19:30put in any report kalus right you're
0:19:33gonna get a trebuchet or I don't know
0:19:35it's got a spork all this it's not
0:19:36something you can rely on but then I
0:19:37started reboard the arrow holes got
0:19:39reboard oohs that's right you got a you
0:19:41got to put to repoint the the the
0:19:43masonry yeah yeah but then I started to
0:19:46imagine oh and then you can have your
0:19:47own heraldic crest made that's like
0:19:53named in a band I don't care what genre
0:19:55it is and I can't play an instrument I
0:19:57gotta come up with a name so you would
0:19:58have to you need a name for your castle
0:19:59II need something Harold think that's
0:20:00right and every house in the United
0:20:02Kingdom has a name even if it's like a
0:20:031-bedroom apartment it's called like the
0:20:05Finns smoking Tain's of Glenwood on push
0:20:10a door but so after a while I started to
0:20:12you know imagine myself living in this
0:20:14castle you know I have a very small
0:20:15family have one child I have a mother a
0:20:19sister and that my child has a mother
0:20:24and then some we are at this point
0:20:31talking just about sentient beings and
0:20:33not belongings right I do that's right I
0:20:35do a lot of belonging yeah the castle
0:20:40the castle but I bet when you got that
0:20:42bar you sent yourself out never filled I
0:20:45mean I would definitely have a Hall of
0:20:47mismatched swords
0:20:50welcome to Sword Hall but where the
0:20:53private features of Castro that might be
0:20:56what I call the house sword ha ha ha I
0:21:00like that fun Lord sword it's a man in
0:21:04the bathrobe rampant on a castle this
0:21:07episode of Roderick on the line is
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0:22:44supporting Roderick on the line and all
0:22:46the great shows but but like I started
0:22:49to realize like Who am I going to talk
0:22:51to like getting the castle I didn't have
0:22:53instantly like more friends yeah I
0:22:55didn't have any vassals it's not like
0:22:57gonna pick up in
0:22:59College you get a pickup truck in
0:23:00college everybody's your friend that's
0:23:01right good Castle in Scotland there's a
0:23:04load and I started to picture myself
0:23:05going down to the local pub and then I'm
0:23:07the American who calls himself Lord
0:23:08sword that comes down to the pub
0:23:10sometimes and wants to play darts like
0:23:12not oh here comes Lord sword so this is
0:23:15what you look at me I've got a new
0:23:17portcullis
0:23:18you have to think about my moat don't
0:23:20stink the post-apocalypse like who what
0:23:24are you gonna who'd gonna hang out with
0:23:25so much me but also so much maintenance
0:23:27yeah you're right you're right who would
0:23:28you hang out with would it be other
0:23:29castle dwellers but we're talking about
0:23:32here in San Francisco you're talking to
0:23:34living in the sunset live in sunset
0:23:35every 8th house is occupied yeah the
0:23:38rest are just full of bodies that died
0:23:40in the flue yeah and you guys are here
0:23:42you got your bucket they got their
0:23:44bucket here every once in a while
0:23:45sheriff buck if you should trade fuck
0:23:48you let's get that work you look it you
0:23:52wash my bucket I'll wash yours
0:23:55fudge-like is the sunset see the problem
0:23:58is that you know infrastructural there's
0:23:59all kinds of things I mean it's gonna be
0:24:01difficult you know gosh what if the word
0:24:03up the reservoir gets a crack and all
0:24:05the water comes down the main problem in
0:24:06my neighborhood is if next door goes out
0:24:08nobody is gonna have any idea what
0:24:10there's one guy in my neighborhood in
0:24:12particular I cannot imagine this guy
0:24:15surviving he's so upset about people who
0:24:17look like they might be stealing his
0:24:18packages I don't think he even has a
0:24:20bucket ready let me ask you as someone
0:24:23who gets a lot of packages do you think
0:24:25that packages routinely get stolen from
0:24:28people's front porches I mean I think it
0:24:30does definitely happen but it's one of
0:24:34those things where you can well
0:24:36obviously it's like any of these things
0:24:37where you know what is it or well say
0:24:41like if you get these people freaked out
0:24:43enough you don't need your packages
0:24:44stolen you mentally stealing your own
0:24:46packages all the time you just you just
0:24:48err you're so intense it's like that
0:24:50person that person was near my bush for
0:24:52too long I don't like the look of that
0:24:53person who wears who wears something
0:24:55with a hood in this kind of weather it
0:24:57would seem to me that most package
0:24:59thieves would end up with like seven
0:25:02hundred bottles of contact lens solution
0:25:04yeah for every one interesting thing
0:25:07it's kind of a contact lens solution
0:25:09diapers and porn I mean people get porn
0:25:12male I'm a pigeon not not everybody has
0:25:17a computer set not everything's like
0:25:19you've never that you can send to the
0:25:20store
0:25:21it gets Bitcoin mining from the look of
0:25:23goodwill some people got to do it on
0:25:25their own they gotta watch it on the VCR
0:25:26I'm you know I'm Amazon Prime it never
0:25:28occurred to me at your recommendation
0:25:30yes on prime never occurred to me to put
0:25:32porn in there and see what happened can
0:25:35you get porn on Amazon you might want to
0:25:37look at the Kindle Store but that's like
0:25:40porn where Fabio like takes you in his
0:25:42arm wish do you want to know there's
0:25:47like but but Kindle only has black and
0:25:49white letters yeah but it's about having
0:25:51sex with a billionaire dinosaur kid you
0:25:56know what don't get out your phones
0:25:57because I want you to pay attention to
0:25:58what John has to share with you at your
0:26:00earliest convenience please go into
0:26:01Amazon and search for things like
0:26:03billionaire and dime it's cuz that
0:26:07dinosaur is gonna teach you a fuckin
0:26:09lesson about how to reimburse your
0:26:11disbursements is it is it fanfic is that
0:26:15what it is
0:26:16no it's professionally written shitty
0:26:18writing that you can get deployed via
0:26:21the Wi-Fi and it's about you know
0:26:23fucking dinosaurs and billionaires
0:26:25because the all kinds of different
0:26:26combinations you just have something to
0:26:29do with like tentacle porn ah except is
0:26:32like small arm tiny big thighs small
0:26:38small forearms you go the brothers can't
0:26:41deny so do you feel like you're pretty
0:26:51preps I mean if you if you uh you've got
0:26:54a castle of your own right now you have
0:26:55a perimeter that is very very well
0:26:57regulated what are you doing here
0:26:59militia yep I have an escape an escape
0:27:02vehicle right a anti apocalypse motor
0:27:07van your GMC RV I have a I have a barn
0:27:14that is defendable I have a I have an
0:27:17empty swimming pool full of logs
0:27:20I have is that the same no wait no hey
0:27:24gay is when you get lines on your jeans
0:27:26yeah what's the thing that's about
0:27:27coziness in Finland is that logs in a
0:27:29pool what's that called logs in a pool I
0:27:31think that's a different thing I don't
0:27:33think that's Jim Baker's bucket by any
0:27:35other name if you have too much of the
0:27:39pepper food you may discover that when
0:27:41you attempt to defecate you find nothing
0:27:44but logs in the pool I don't know about
0:27:47finish come frogs about the coziness do
0:27:51you guys know you guys are he gay is it
0:27:54Hagee who girl the penis whiskers yeah
0:28:01then hygge is this the finned is the fin
0:28:03link Oh someone's got a leak Wow um is
0:28:08the feeling coziness for uh because and
0:28:10the thing is that many I'm sure many a
0:28:12lot of hisses for this but yeah I have
0:28:13I've been spending more time on 4chan
0:28:15again buddy and they have they're one of
0:28:19the threads that's interesting
0:28:21georgeanna is the comfy the comfy thread
0:28:24where they just post pictures of things
0:28:26that are comfy and a lot of them are
0:28:29like little Finnish houses with snow
0:28:33coming down and little there's little
0:28:35that there bishop thomas kane yeah and
0:28:44then the next thread is about people
0:28:45being beheaded in car accidents but the
0:28:48cozy threads are really nice but no i
0:28:53feel like if you think about being ready
0:28:56for for the disaster is not about being
0:28:58ready to defend your perimeter because i
0:29:00think it's very true that by the time
0:29:03you are defending your perimeter you
0:29:06will be defending it against people who
0:29:08are better armed and more motivated it's
0:29:10too late yeah okay there's not you're
0:29:13not defending it against random zombies
0:29:15it's gonna be against people who are
0:29:17driving around in a toyota pickup with a
0:29:1950 caliber machine gun in the back who
0:29:21are like we're taking over right and so
0:29:24don't worry about like guns and fighting
0:29:26just worry about like it's it's the
0:29:28bridge right it's not a three-day bridge
0:29:30it's a 30-day bridge okay
0:29:31can you keep your families
0:29:33and keep yourselves like heated and
0:29:35washed during the time that it takes to
0:29:37reestablish a grid and because what's
0:29:41gonna happen is the first thing that
0:29:42happens is that the the supermarkets
0:29:44aren't stopped anymore because the first
0:29:47thing is gonna happen as you can't call
0:29:48a kid to go pick it up in the
0:29:49supermarket for you well right you know
0:29:51what I think yeah you can't Yelp to
0:29:53decide which restaurant has the best
0:29:55meatballs that's the first thing to go
0:29:57ruin my engagement party one star but
0:29:59we're but we're talking about like the
0:30:01devasting about the 9.9 we're talking
0:30:03about the one with it with the
0:30:04accompanying singer and then all of and
0:30:07then the big fluke um I think it's opens
0:30:11at once is the thing
0:30:12World War one happened and then the big
0:30:15flew and then the and then not very long
0:30:17ten years the stock market crash hit the
0:30:20flap and then right then right after
0:30:21that there was a depression yes then
0:30:23there was another world war in
0:30:25coincidence right and then there's you
0:30:27got wing walkers yeah ticker tape that's
0:30:30right Barnstormers straw boaters and
0:30:32then and then modern jazz no new it was
0:30:37it was the Bitcoin but not the Bitcoin
0:30:39the cryptocurrency of its time let me
0:30:41ask you you've mentioned Bitcoin several
0:30:43times yes your you ever some real talk
0:30:51what is this we're looking at I saw
0:30:58these but I didn't want to look at them
0:31:04because it if it's what I think it is
0:31:07I'm pretty fucking happy we should know
0:31:11what turn away anyway are those should
0:31:16they be upside down if they're from
0:31:17Australia though are those phony or war
0:31:19I think might be phony Awards they
0:31:21really look like funny we did not bring
0:31:22these awards ourselves let's check it
0:31:25out see what it says let's say anything
0:31:27oh it's a phony award it's a phony war
0:31:46awarded to Roderick on the line for most
0:31:49podcast podcast I promised myself I
0:31:53wouldn't cry thank you I just want to
0:31:58say I just wanna say thanks to thanks to
0:32:00everybody this is a very important time
0:32:01and moving them right now and I'm very
0:32:02I'm very excited to have the opportunity
0:32:04to be up in front of you don't play me
0:32:05off thank you thank you I'd like to
0:32:08thank my wife I'd like to let my other
0:32:10wife
0:32:13I really spared no expense here with
0:32:15this dowel is some expenses but but the
0:32:19I think the paint might still well it's
0:32:24an interesting color of gold it's really
0:32:26gold mixed with chocolate it's one thing
0:32:28to never win an award that hasn't been
0:32:31invented yet and it's another thing to
0:32:34win award for a thing that was just made
0:32:37up that doesn't exist and for everybody
0:32:40out there who's ever won of something
0:32:42that didn't exist and didn't understand
0:32:45why they didn't have it I just want to
0:32:47say me too
0:32:50thank you yeah
0:32:54mucuna tatata thank you shatru de patata
0:33:00survival bucket 1-800 that's right no
0:33:05Vic tuna frittata Nelly Furtado let me
0:33:10ask you though about Bitcoin it seems
0:33:12like the type of thing that people would
0:33:15did we start I have noise you feel like
0:33:17me doing this for 30 minutes this time
0:33:18is it now got another goddamn hour to do
0:33:20here well holy shit we'll throw 2
0:33:24questions after a while and they'll
0:33:26entertain themselves it seems to me
0:33:30there was a moment right where all of us
0:33:32wanted to maybe thought about getting a
0:33:34Bitcoin but then when we looked at how
0:33:36much they cost
0:33:37they were like $40 and it seemed too
0:33:39expensive but you seem like someone who
0:33:42might have gotten a Bitcoin did you get
0:33:45a Bitcoin there's a lot of things that I
0:33:48don't understand I've made a study of
0:33:51not understanding things and I feel like
0:33:53that's something I've gotten kind of
0:33:54good at it's very very difficult for me
0:33:56to understand from what I can gather
0:33:58it's like money but not and you need a
0:34:01computer to make it even though you're
0:34:03not really making it but the
0:34:05distribution of what you've made
0:34:07involves math and lots of people in
0:34:09power and then eventually you can't sell
0:34:12it because the fee is too high and
0:34:13there's too many people trying to do it
0:34:15at the same time their views
0:34:16I think there's oh that's how they get
0:34:18that's how they get you yeah it's a
0:34:20crypto eel so it's it's like the money
0:34:24gets what would you call it distributed
0:34:31the Kazakh Stan Igor 1 million dollar 1
0:34:35million dollar fee goes to Kazakh Stan
0:34:36are you wearing this no no tell me more
0:34:38he went to Cossacks they know this is
0:34:40the kind of thing this those fat cats
0:34:41don't want you to know you got a 1
0:34:43million dollar fee in Kazakhstan got it
0:34:45got out that million dollar 3 million
0:34:46dollar fee in Kazakhstan it's not what
0:34:49they call a fiat currency that's the
0:34:50term people like you throw what they're
0:34:52saying real money that's called a fiat
0:34:54currency it's like a made-up phony
0:34:56baloney
0:34:56I think that's based on nothing unlike a
0:34:58made-up phony the loan anything that
0:35:00requires computers in that it's like a
0:35:01fix it again Tony
0:35:04no there's like two Fiat owners in our
0:35:07repair they both live in New Jersey and
0:35:10they're not here to laugh is it one for
0:35:11dodge dodge I did fix it again Tony a
0:35:14fixed or repaired daily which is
0:35:16somebody should have workshop that a
0:35:17little longer is there one for dodge
0:35:19don't obviously dodge great energy it's
0:35:22a backronym it's a person is okay what's
0:35:27your Lamborghini lastly and more
0:35:33ordinarily though lastly and more
0:35:37basically oh really
0:35:45gosh how how is nothing in nothing gosh
0:35:57bikini got a Lambo Lambo 47 Lambos when
0:36:07you were a teenager do you have a
0:36:08supercar that you cared about you don't
0:36:10yes cars now but we're myself what was
0:36:12your supercar your teenage supercar
0:36:14ah-64 TF Mustang over the first one X
0:36:17count grown with the like some kind of
0:36:20special thing or just terrier stock one
0:36:22brownie interior pony interior how does
0:36:24Merlyn know these things I thought that
0:36:26he hated cars I wanted one so I want a
0:36:30blue one with the hexagons and what was
0:36:32it my dreams in my dreams your dreams
0:36:35let me coop dude oh yeah Tudor yeah yeah
0:36:38yeah I like lots of cars but at the time
0:36:41that I had these desires that I couldn't
0:36:43fulfill because money he had the
0:36:44Maverick are the it was called the
0:36:45Mustang - at the time oh it's the
0:36:47long-standing fixed or repaired daily
0:36:50Mustang which which kind of looked like
0:36:52if somebody put tires on an 8-track the
0:36:54Mustang 2 was a was a Pinto that had a
0:36:57horse and a Pinto is a horse
0:37:00hi meal involvement not troubling overly
0:37:06am i right Ralph Nader john-john
0:37:14Roderick what was I feel like I should
0:37:16know this what was your teenage boy
0:37:18dream car I did not go in for all the
0:37:21the puffed up battalion sports things I
0:37:25wanted a like the first year 1966
0:37:30Porsche 911 but it turns out I would
0:37:34barely fit in one you'd have to take the
0:37:38seed out begin and I could sit in the
0:37:40back I have to take up the wheel and
0:37:43manually manipulate the steering oh and
0:37:46there might be someone in here that has
0:37:47a Porsche who wants to argue with me
0:37:49about whether or not I would fit in it
0:37:51and I don't want to do that that's a
0:37:53complete exaggeration you've fitted a
0:37:55really good but I but there's part of me
0:37:58that's still once one but yeah but all
0:38:01those things have become all the things
0:38:03that I loved that were four assholes
0:38:05then are four bigger asshole Wow because
0:38:08now they can get it yes like me I want
0:38:10this big gym tomorrow like get it bring
0:38:13it to me back then if you saved your
0:38:16money it was conceivable that you could
0:38:18get an old cool car but it's been
0:38:21forever fixed like an mg you get
0:38:23something or you get like a sprite you
0:38:25could fix something I had a friend an
0:38:26austin-healey sprite and was constantly
0:38:28like fixing it up but like you know now
0:38:29today you can get a fucking banana seat
0:38:31bike on Amazon Prime my fingertips
0:38:35assholes
0:38:37I've been looks ever since my truck
0:38:38caught on fire yeah which wasn't that
0:38:41long ago
0:38:43I fixed the truck I took it to my guy he
0:38:46said he said it was gonna be expensive
0:38:48to fix and I said I'm pot committed to
0:38:51this thing it's whatever the cost
0:38:54and so one just a bigger audience up to
0:38:57date enough people are up to date on the
0:38:58show you had you had your truck there
0:39:00was a slight incendiary incident
0:39:03something happened something happens you
0:39:05know 99% of the time when an alternator
0:39:07fails it fails to continue to charge it
0:39:11stops alternating yeah one one in a
0:39:13hundred times what happens is the
0:39:15alternator just gets out of the way of
0:39:18the electricity
0:39:18oh it just says I'm Audi it's like see
0:39:21you later and so 18 volts of pure
0:39:24electricity goes right into everything
0:39:26yeah and it caught it on fire and I put
0:39:28it out with a with an old-fashioned fire
0:39:30extinguisher that just shoots pure hate
0:39:33at everything and as you know hate
0:39:36extinguishes fire yes and paper jams oh
0:39:41and so but now the windshield wipers are
0:39:44always on living perfect with the song
0:39:48in the radio the the the debt the the
0:39:52instruments in the dash are one-by-one
0:39:54blinking out the speedometer no longer
0:39:56works well because all the all the mica
0:40:00from the hate extinguisher went into
0:40:02everything in a while so change that the
0:40:04way they make extinguisher now you don't
0:40:05get as much hate well now it's just it's
0:40:07just a carbon dioxide it just it just it
0:40:10just blankets it with rationality and
0:40:11talks to fire out of it yeah yeah
0:40:12alright bores the shit out of the phone
0:40:14by your logic fire should be everywhere
0:40:20the new logic patents a fire
0:40:24extinguisher but I started looking for a
0:40:26car because I felt like you know I owe
0:40:28it to everyone to have a car that has
0:40:30electricity clutches for you it's it's
0:40:33for the well it's for you and it's for
0:40:35my kid who every time she gets into the
0:40:36car she's like why does your car smell
0:40:38like the inside of a tank legacy and I
0:40:42don't know how she learned how a tank
0:40:43smells but I think it's you know kids
0:40:45are reading weird books now at a young
0:40:47age yeah I think yeah she was reading
0:40:49and she was reading like she she gets
0:40:51that out to visa how this tank smell she
0:40:54and her friends were watching fury right
0:40:59the recent Brad Pitt movie about tank
0:41:01combat oh no one sight to see that bunch
0:41:06of peaceniks in here
0:41:08um problem man anyway so I so so she's
0:41:14like why don't why do you why don't you
0:41:16why this is why this is the thing we
0:41:18have to be in for being on roads smell
0:41:20like this yeah one why do these missions
0:41:21though the smell was not detailed out to
0:41:24your satisfaction even on repeat detail
0:41:26yeah it's not that smell it's just it
0:41:28was the normal smell of the vehicle that
0:41:30smelled like naugahyde covered with
0:41:31motor oil yeah which essentially that's
0:41:34the smell of love that's the finish on
0:41:35these boots that did you guys notice
0:41:37that we're wearing the same boots we can
0:41:40we access this out ahead of time
0:41:41completely accidental when you are a man
0:41:44of a certain age and you wear Doc
0:41:46Martens it communicates that you are not
0:41:48getting old gracefully
0:41:49no forget you in future you know I love
0:41:53the poor sizing of Doc Martens but it
0:41:55like the convenience of a slip-on shoe
0:41:57hi I feel like I get a little bit of a
0:42:00fussy thing going I feel like I should
0:42:01get a nice tight cuff little tight oh
0:42:04good we're doing the pants material it's
0:42:08like things in a trench coat it's never
0:42:11not funny but so I wanna I want a car
0:42:14and I want to get a good car but a
0:42:15legacy I want a stylish car I don't want
0:42:17to drive around in a fuckin old shitty
0:42:19car like a Tercel or one of these new
0:42:21cars people are like why don't you get
0:42:22one of these cars that looks like a
0:42:23Tonka truck and I'm like because I'm not
0:42:25a fucking Fisher Price person you want
0:42:27Honda cute boys you don't wanna hide a
0:42:28cute boy don't get anything the texture
0:42:32something with nuance like a brand
0:42:33koozie something curvy and beautiful
0:42:35that can easily catch on fire and then
0:42:36put some face it's beautiful it's a
0:42:38legacy somebody would communicate
0:42:39something about me to the other drivers
0:42:42namely get out of my way and this guy
0:42:46looks like trouble
0:42:49one of the great things about the truck
0:42:51is not that people see you in the
0:42:53rearview mirror and get out of your way
0:42:54it's that people who are behind you that
0:42:56want you to get out of their way
0:42:58realize that they'd better leave you
0:42:59alone oh boy yeah because it's like I
0:43:02don't want to honk at this thing yeah
0:43:04who knows what's who knows what's
0:43:05driving that it's good I just on the
0:43:07back bumper I have an NRA sticker and a
0:43:09van Halen sticker this is like don't you
0:43:13know don't you don't know which way to
0:43:14go around this car new the new this is
0:43:20kind of a Mimi thing of like you put one
0:43:21sticker over the other like you know you
0:43:23put your I kind of look like the same
0:43:25van Halen sticker over in NR East
0:43:30yeah you ever get people step to you
0:43:32within your vehicle I want to get back
0:43:34to your story but do you have do you
0:43:35ever have to deal with people it's sort
0:43:36of like you were like you never noticed
0:43:38like on Muni and Bart you never see two
0:43:42local denizens like fighting each other
0:43:44they're all like a local denizen is
0:43:46usually like hassling a normal like a
0:43:48lady with a baby like I live in the
0:43:50walls I'm wallpaper man and please just
0:43:53let me have a life but like you never
0:43:54see to people like go have each other I
0:43:56kind of shave each other explain
0:43:58football you know you never see that
0:44:00kind of like I don't know what's going
0:44:01on Aires made of gravy it's always there
0:44:04always going after a normal do you ever
0:44:06have to go up against another crazy
0:44:09vehicle person for predominance the and
0:44:12also the area's made of gravy for sure I
0:44:17don't need a pass it's in my mind the
0:44:22thing about a 1979 GMC Suburban is that
0:44:25you are 100% invisible to 98% of the
0:44:28people in the world they just don't see
0:44:29it because it looks like it it looks
0:44:31like being a 51 year old man well or
0:44:33just it looks like oh I don't know a
0:44:34truck that doesn't belong and so their
0:44:36eyes just don't see it but razzle dazzle
0:44:40in a way it's kind that's right yeah but
0:44:42every seven days a 62 year old black man
0:44:46will tip his hat as
0:44:47bye and I'll be like the back at you sir
0:44:51so there there's just a very small
0:44:54demographic of people that are like nice
0:44:57truck and I feel a real commune of a
0:45:00fraternal community with them but I
0:45:02never it's not like I ever pull over and
0:45:04get out and say like I want to hang and
0:45:07they don't run after a part of the code
0:45:09right no it wouldn't I mean you just you
0:45:12wouldn't always just say like after the
0:45:13apocalypse you wouldn't you just say if
0:45:15you want to get up in my castle no no I
0:45:16think what you do is you want to share a
0:45:18bucket reach down between your seat and
0:45:20you pick up your fire extinguisher and
0:45:21wave it back at
0:45:29but so I wanna I want a car and I
0:45:31decided that what I need to get is some
0:45:33kind of you know I'm gonna get a Fernan
0:45:35job because I'm not gonna get one of
0:45:36these these these human look at Chrysler
0:45:39like candidly his real youth simply
0:45:46leaves every every reach-around stolen
0:45:53Chrysler's I feel like I feel like the
0:45:56truck industry right they've like pumped
0:45:59everything's so pumped up everything's
0:46:00got so many bulbous like fake muscles on
0:46:03it but necessary diesel you got fenders
0:46:06you got the extra wheels in the back
0:46:08like you know what are you gonna do you
0:46:10gonna put extra Bush light back there
0:46:11like what come on stuff up front to like
0:46:14the grills just look like it's just
0:46:16looks like a face on top of a face and
0:46:18so I decided oh I'm gonna get one of
0:46:20these mercedes-benz mercedes-benz
0:46:22because that says a different thing
0:46:25about a man different thing but then you
0:46:27look at them and there are two things
0:46:29about them they're not cheap even when
0:46:30they're used and also you know that
0:46:32every quart of oil you buy has to be
0:46:34Mercedes oil and it's 40 dollars before
0:46:37say so but you're talking like an out of
0:46:39warranty old ass not like you've got to
0:46:41take it to the dealer kind of something
0:46:43that has electricity but but like
0:46:44alright but you know like something cool
0:46:46anyway that's where I'm at right now but
0:46:48I was I was hoping that this year was
0:46:50gonna be like it one of these years
0:46:52where I just made a bunch of money
0:46:53everything happened and I said something
0:46:56a person yeah and I'd settle free either
0:46:59if I could buy like a car from 2012 I
0:47:02would feel like I was really everything
0:47:04was happening
0:47:04singing sister and then I realized it
0:47:06was it was still me that was gonna be
0:47:09doing things and so whatever those
0:47:12dreams of everything working out were
0:47:14still they still had one problem
0:47:16you you are not an option yeah right act
0:47:20like you're your standard on every video
0:47:21I was still gonna make I was still gonna
0:47:23make every decision I would normally
0:47:25make 18 oh man we don't get to fool
0:47:28ourselves anymore it's fucking bullshit
0:47:30it's brutal yeah so you got castles you
0:47:35got cars you got buckets I don't know
0:47:40two people who've never listened to the
0:47:43show this happens on the recordings oh
0:47:45yeah
0:47:46just did I do so much editing on the
0:47:48show you never notice he does do a lot
0:47:50of it oh you've got a this yeah the one
0:47:53thing that I can't that I can't do on
0:47:55the show let my Jesse thorn pocket
0:47:57square yes no one just thorn you I can't
0:48:00notice things about you on the show and
0:48:02I'm noticing that you have a like am
0:48:04watch mode Aaron like everything else
0:48:06about you could have just fallen out of
0:48:09out of somebody's like falling out of
0:48:12like unsuccessful gay porn from the
0:48:15early age or like the the the page of
0:48:19the Sears catalog for cool dads and then
0:48:21from like 80 from 1980 but they're
0:48:25looking at this watch that's just like
0:48:26it's like r2d2 yeah yeah not not as
0:48:31funny after you you have it for a while
0:48:36everybody cares nothing important to do
0:48:44is it it is it mining bit crown you need
0:48:48more focus in your life I don't know I
0:48:56have a lot of problems
0:49:00this is funny to you how Jesus Christ is
0:49:05it Syrian you talk to it can you say so
0:49:07you say watch me watch me this is great
0:49:13it looks good let's do it let's hear it
0:49:15what time is it what did it say who is
0:49:28John roderick john roderick would you
0:49:49like to ask john roderick would you like
0:49:53to split a bucket
0:50:08nothing yet
0:50:10I think it's still mining Bitcoin there
0:50:15is a text here from a friend that says
0:50:16there are a couple of total john
0:50:18roderick dream girls in my Zumba class
0:50:22no photo short curly hair nose mossad
0:50:28combat boots did you say nose mossad
0:50:40vegetable cabrera is really martial art
0:50:49my god this episode of roderick on the
0:50:56line is brought to you in part by Casper
0:50:58you can learn more about Casper right
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0:52:34Roderick on the line and all the great
0:52:36ships what you're unfolding this piece
0:52:39papers this our contract does it say how
0:52:41long we have to do this show forever ah
0:52:45let's move on to the next portion of the
0:52:47program which is some new bullshit we're
0:52:48making up I went on the internet earlier
0:52:51today and we should also warn people we
0:52:55will probably take questions from the
0:52:56audience after this hangout afterwards
0:52:58do not hang out much because you're all
0:53:01fucking gonna make me sick and I have to
0:53:02go home I have a podcast record in the
0:53:04morning and I still haven't taken my
0:53:05sleeping pill yeah don't talk or breathe
0:53:07on Merlin don't get close just way out
0:53:09know your being here is plenty but you
0:53:14can talk to me I'll stick around
0:53:15yeah but we're also gonna take question
0:53:18on my behalf I went on the internet this
0:53:20afternoon and I said to us as people
0:53:22that says I said Generation supertrain
0:53:24is there a topic from Roderick on the
0:53:27line for which you'd like to hear John
0:53:29Roderick provide an update 98 percent of
0:53:33them said GMC RV I bet Jim CRV is on the
0:53:35list all right we have not prepared we
0:53:38unless you've seen some of this listener
0:53:41Sean in of Seattle
0:53:47we're like safar he says his the thing
0:53:50the thing about Jews listener Sean n
0:53:55Sean in from Seattle asks what's the
0:53:58thing about junina there's no what's
0:54:00just the thing about Jews I think he
0:54:02wants you to follow up on the thing
0:54:03about Jesus what you want to do I think
0:54:04another question cuz I do this did I do
0:54:06something that I do bits on Jews that
0:54:08doesn't seem like me you know I'm a
0:54:15Judea file and that's a that's difficult
0:54:18to say I don't think they like to be
0:54:20filed
0:54:22they enlists do not turn off soon
0:54:26listener John not this John listener
0:54:28John and many other people let's be
0:54:30honest currents that if you want to say
0:54:31in as much as you're comfortable and
0:54:33legally obligated to say what is the
0:54:34current status of the GMC RP the GMC RV
0:54:38is under a tarp because out of respect
0:54:43it's under a tarp because we're in the
0:54:46rainy season in Seattle and it is easier
0:54:48to de tarp if I it when I want when
0:54:51there's a sunny day than it is to
0:54:54dehumidifier it I like the way it smells
0:54:57yeah well I know it smells great but
0:54:59it's just like if it if it sits in the
0:55:01rain for two-and-a-half miles then you
0:55:04have that it's kind of like grandma's
0:55:05old Underpants and look magazines you
0:55:08know you want to flip through them but
0:55:09not a lot I do not know no but mildew is
0:55:16that ablest mildew it's it's it's got a
0:55:17certain moist you're doing the
0:55:21international symbol of I love this wine
0:55:23oh it's guys there's so many things
0:55:26going on its own there's a lot of
0:55:27complexity in the mouthfeel I'm making
0:55:31that effluvium thing you're never
0:55:32supposed to just snort the chemicals
0:55:34you're supposed to get in a flu VM right
0:55:35right a flu viim yeah
0:55:38RV is that a good RV a nice RV feels it
0:55:42should smell like things are wet that
0:55:46the exhaust is routed through the
0:55:48dashboard
0:55:49it should smell like someone's been
0:55:51living there for a year with a cat like
0:55:55it should smell like you've been frying
0:55:56fish in there since the 70s like all
0:55:59these things mix together to get this
0:56:01like odor RV and you know mine has that
0:56:05of course like it's like I have to do is
0:56:07smell the curtains and you get the whole
0:56:08experience but I just don't want their
0:56:11tunes are very rustic yeah there's an
0:56:13example this is original curtains and
0:56:15the thing about the RV is it has
0:56:16curtains and louvers so you can really
0:56:19exclude the outside world but you know
0:56:22the back window is this if it's like
0:56:24scenic picture window you can back up on
0:56:26you can go on the Pacific Coast Highway
0:56:27back up to one of those cliffs and wake
0:56:30up in the morning to the to the breakers
0:56:32and the seagulls and the oil derricks
0:56:35out there just leaking into the sea and
0:56:37the smell that's curtains but uh but I
0:56:40carped it it's in the backyard the
0:56:42problem was I drove it around the block
0:56:45in preparation to back it in because it
0:56:49was parked like this and I needed to go
0:56:50around the block in order to have the
0:56:51right angle to back it into its spot in
0:56:54front of the barn to be tarped also does
0:56:56a kind of a good idea to get all the
0:56:57things in motion one last time's right
0:56:59so doesn't all just kind of freeze up in
0:57:00the same place forever and 300 yards
0:57:02from its from its eventual berth in
0:57:05drydock everything shut down the power
0:57:08went off the engine quit and I was like
0:57:11I didn't have enough forward momentum to
0:57:13just roll up to the house I was like I
0:57:17was not even a block away and I had to
0:57:19call triple-a who had to come they don't
0:57:23like that they like being called in
0:57:25their biggest wrecker and it's one of
0:57:27those records that has that has more
0:57:29more like rollers and flashing lights
0:57:32and spotlights on the side than the than
0:57:35the main shipping as you can't turn off
0:57:37it just looks like the Close Encounters
0:57:38ship as it turns upside down it's just
0:57:41like lights everywhere and all that
0:57:43neighbors came out to see what was going
0:57:45on and that and the wrecker was blocking
0:57:47the tow truck so the one neighbor that
0:57:49really needs his mail was really upset
0:57:52and I kept saying it the when the mail
0:57:55truck gets here I'm gonna explain
0:57:56to the mailman and he was pacing and
0:57:59then so I had to I couldn't even monitor
0:58:01the towing I know you didn't crowd
0:58:04manage I had to be in the back like
0:58:06everything's fine everyone it's cool
0:58:07don't worry I'm looking for the postman
0:58:10and then I saw the the the mailman
0:58:14coming from a half a mile away and had
0:58:16to watch as he stopped at each mailbox
0:58:19which is what they do
0:58:20yeah like this this slow motion
0:58:22anticipation of this was their concern
0:58:25that he would just go around it this guy
0:58:27was pacing I'm not getting out of this
0:58:28he didn't want to talk to the guy and so
0:58:30it's just as like slow-mo thing of like
0:58:33come on I just got a 30-second thing I
0:58:35need to tell you about this guy's mail
0:58:37and he's just like and he's taking his
0:58:39time he's sorting through all the
0:58:41circulars he's put in the safe way he
0:58:43knows what he's doing neighbors upset
0:58:45but he doesn't have to be the one to
0:58:46talk about him the time the tow truck
0:58:47guy and this guy over here with this
0:58:49yeah and so fun but finally the tow
0:58:52truck guy backed it into the to the in
0:58:55front of the barn I tarped it and what
0:58:57it is right now is a problem for the
0:59:00future yeah what I think it's an
0:59:03opportunity what I like to LeDoux as I
0:59:05walk past it and I go March problem
0:59:07mm-hmm that's a problem for March and
0:59:10when March arrives it's gonna have come
0:59:11a lot sooner than I expect I love the
0:59:14item want to take you off this I love
0:59:16the idea of the March problem it's a
0:59:17March problem oh that's a March problem
0:59:19yeah that is not a November problem it
0:59:21is not a anywh a problem itself March
0:59:22jesus take the wheel I'm not gonna think
0:59:24about this for two months it's just yeah
0:59:26when it's time it might be time I'm not
0:59:28saying it's an August problem no no not
0:59:31that good and the thing about King
0:59:32Neptune I'm still King Neptune yes till
0:59:35June with all rights therein - that's
0:59:38right and and that's a June problem when
0:59:40I get that's it like it this is a venti
0:59:43I'm me I'm not I'm not blowing smoke up
0:59:45your skirt this is a good thought
0:59:47technology the March problem you've
0:59:49already you've got it you figure out
0:59:50where the problem goes you've got you
0:59:51guys got a little Filofax for where it's
0:59:53gonna go for for your calendar and when
0:59:55March come not today not today like
0:59:57Addie
0:59:58like at one of those
0:59:58like at one of those
1:00:00railroad crossing things yeah the the
1:00:02Bell starts sounding and the lights
1:00:04start flashing a long time before the
1:00:06arm drops yeah and you know that's
1:00:11that's basically how you approach a
1:00:12March problem like yellow light yellow
1:00:14light March evening and there's March
1:00:16and are you gonna get there before the
1:00:21beginning you just before March is done
1:00:23I feel like the reason it's a March
1:00:27problem is that you get your RV ready in
1:00:31March for what is ultimately your April
1:00:34adventure so you're getting your March
1:00:38problems are really your April
1:00:40adventures it's just like your much pop
1:00:41your April adventure yeah you're you're
1:00:43you're you're May flowers bring June
1:00:46showers or whatever it is yeah your
1:00:50March problems are April adventures and
1:00:51you need to you know it's all got its
1:00:54its dominoes all the way down right yes
1:00:57doesn't affect it's yeah right because
1:01:00your April your April adventures yes are
1:01:03your May gratifications but you can
1:01:07still have April problems
1:01:08you can have May adventures if you're
1:01:10gonna have a and I have January problems
1:01:14sure yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah a lot of
1:01:17my March problems come from being like
1:01:19November probably yeah I think I keep
1:01:22thinking about is just even more like
1:01:24I'm not a car guy I'm not a transit guy
1:01:26I'm not a person who likes motion but
1:01:29like I just keep coming back to the
1:01:30fuckin clubhouse clubhouse like it wants
1:01:33to be a clubhouse but like so that the
1:01:35moisture and the distinctive odor does
1:01:38that come from like one big hole or from
1:01:40a million tiny cracks so a lot of the
1:01:42thing about think about an RV is it's
1:01:44too it's too long to handle torsion oh
1:01:49it's an engineering problem yeah so when
1:01:52you when you make a thing this long and
1:01:54then you put it on the road where it's
1:01:56going both up and down and side to side
1:01:57it's got twisting forces it's like a
1:02:00subway six-foot sub like there's gonna
1:02:02be some turning and there's gonna be
1:02:03motion it's a material science problem
1:02:05there's just nothing that is flexible
1:02:07and also sturdy extend
1:02:10or perhaps somebody in here without 3d
1:02:12printers going of the I beg to differ I
1:02:15have I have created a polliver
1:02:20but in yeah the 3d printing community
1:02:25they're the worst in 1977 when this
1:02:29thing was built out of used Corvette
1:02:31parts what they did was they just like
1:02:34zipped it together like you would an
1:02:36IKEA thing alright but they had they had
1:02:39like rubber covers yeah
1:02:45and so everything everything that one
1:02:481978 no one's it from like 77 77 it's as
1:02:51old as Star Wars yeah I bet they never a
1:02:54god bless them the people in that
1:02:56community I don't think they ever
1:02:58intended that thing to still be around
1:02:59now though they did that cave people
1:03:01they're all aeronautical but the AGM or
1:03:04as I like to call them go-go-go monkeys
1:03:11let's just take the temperature of the
1:03:12room how many people in here were born
1:03:14before 1977 that is a very small
1:03:18proportion of the people in here just
1:03:20for comparison's sake how many people
1:03:23were born after 1977
1:03:26[Applause]
1:03:28so this GMC RV is sweet my daughter said
1:03:32you know do you know anyone who's older
1:03:34than you I've met people who are living
1:03:41that other than me I've got I've got a
1:03:44friend who's over 55 this thing is this
1:03:48it's the equivalent of a Bugatti to us
1:03:51like how the hell how do you keep and
1:03:53keep this thing on the road but yeah but
1:03:55so all the little every time that
1:03:57someone at GM drilled a hole into that
1:04:00fiberglass in order to put a light or a
1:04:03mirror or a piece of chrome or a antenna
1:04:06or anything yeah every one of those
1:04:08things is now thinking to itself I'd
1:04:11like to just wither and turn into a hole
1:04:15rather than be a sealed like it's it's
1:04:18as you get older your sphincter just
1:04:19gets yes
1:04:21you know what also but it's also a
1:04:23torsion because because torsion would
1:04:26there's two things that every engineer
1:04:27knows about torsion it's cool and it's
1:04:29patient right so that's the thing about
1:04:33torsion torch and everything seems to be
1:04:34fine everything's copacetic everything's
1:04:35planning on Fletch it it's not like
1:04:37studs or shooting out of the wall right
1:04:39like it's gonna be very subtle it's
1:04:41gonna be a little bit of what give me
1:04:44some airplane motions you got Hugh you
1:04:46got cry
1:04:51yeah he got ya geeky and holiday right
1:04:56right you got Yanni yo D you got yoni in
1:05:00lingo lingo that's right guy yeah the
1:05:02guy yeah all the different ways that a
1:05:04plane can move in space some of them are
1:05:06in all three of the dimensions and
1:05:08that's a lot like what happens with the
1:05:11the materials problem of a GMC RV it's
1:05:14very very long right and so but the
1:05:16stresses are gonna be very subtle right
1:05:18in patient well like maybe by the time
1:05:20of Empire Strikes Back everything was
1:05:22still really great you get up to the
1:05:23time of Return of the Jedi some of the
1:05:25studs are getting a little bit curious
1:05:27about what where else they could be
1:05:28going right there are a lot of people in
1:05:30the audience who were born in 1987 and
1:05:32one day time is gonna make 1987 look
1:05:35like 1967 yeah and that's when you're
1:05:39gonna find the material science that
1:05:40went into building you also starts due
1:05:44to torsion and Gaia and come make it so
1:05:49that your sealants and your your your
1:05:51seals right also start to lose their
1:05:54elasticity
1:05:55yeah regardless of how much DeJohn you
1:05:57get into the yoni you're still gonna be
1:06:00a little bit of yo in the lingo that's
1:06:02right and you're gonna be your and it's
1:06:03gonna be resistance from the hue the hue
1:06:05and the cry so you got the we got the
1:06:07storm over here you got the drag over
1:06:09there
1:06:101977 yep right and so right now the GMC
1:06:15ERV like you all and like me mm-hmm
1:06:19right now as it all happened to us at
1:06:21one point we're gonna end up tarped in
1:06:23front of somebody's barn
1:06:25and the GMC RV got there first
1:06:27[Music]
1:06:29eventually they'll need to make room and
1:06:32you'll be tarped outside the barn I want
1:06:35to turn you won't be talking it's gonna
1:06:39be a wet old RV and nobody can even open
1:06:42the door anymore I love you grandpa
1:06:45I I want to turn it into a clubhouse you
1:06:48know I'd be a clubhouse you get a
1:06:50dehumidifier
1:06:51I got a dehumidifier I got one for home
1:06:53I got one for the office I never looked
1:06:54back you put it in there it'll suck the
1:06:56shit yeah but it's the Scottish Castle
1:06:59problem which is yeah every time I open
1:07:01Sunset magazine I see one of those tiny
1:07:03houses yeah and I think I want to put a
1:07:06tiny house in my backyard
1:07:07yeah as a yoga studio or as a Zumba
1:07:10whatever that is studio or as it's
1:07:14called limited motion Zumba yeah I guess
1:07:16the very calm music and you make very
1:07:18small motions I'll have a stand-up desk
1:07:21and I'll do my architecture there
1:07:23whatever it is but then I remember I
1:07:26don't have any more friends than my
1:07:28daughter and my her mother and my mother
1:07:29and sister okay I don't want anyone
1:07:31living around me I don't want people
1:07:33waking me up in the morning my feet
1:07:36don't borrow my bucket that's right and
1:07:37so my buck you don't fill my bucket
1:07:39don't do anything with my bucket what
1:07:40part of me wants to put an apartment in
1:07:42my yard
1:07:43Oh yard apartment would be so bad it
1:07:45will be boss but who would I put in
1:07:46there what if you just going to go look
1:07:48at a map really nice no no I don't mean
1:07:51like a Rand McNally map like what if you
1:07:53had a really good fucking historical map
1:07:54and you could pull open the door and you
1:07:56go in there you got your stuff safely
1:07:58what if I would be in that thing all
1:08:01that well I told you about how I used to
1:08:02live in the Attic alive when I was a kid
1:08:04yeah it'd be the same thing for me would
1:08:05be like looking in attics epic that
1:08:06wheels that don't go anywhere I would be
1:08:08so into that except for the smell and I
1:08:09get the dehumidifier okay second problem
1:08:11all right
1:08:12and I think this is the main problem
1:08:13yeah the door and there's only one door
1:08:15to the GMC RV it does not help by its
1:08:17feature not a bug it has one door the
1:08:20door faces the house if the RV is nose
1:08:24in but I find
1:08:27nose in parking aesthetically unpleasing
1:08:30hmm I want rear in I want to
1:08:33back a vehicle in yeah I don't want to
1:08:35knows a vehicle in because we have to
1:08:38get away that's right yep when it's time
1:08:40to whenever see a cop go nose into a
1:08:42space at once and then they're dead so
1:08:46you don't you know we're always back in
1:08:47always back you don't want to be in a
1:08:49situation where you can't have a tarp
1:08:52and the thing doesn't move that's right
1:08:53back you back it in that way if you can
1:08:55also defend your perimeter that way if
1:08:56God forbid you had to defend against
1:08:58about the Steelers in the zombies and
1:08:59you had to be in the pilot of this great
1:09:01craft you would be able to conduct your
1:09:03turret gun with it for pointing out like
1:09:05a gentleman huh that's right and and the
1:09:08problem is if it's back in then the
1:09:10front door faces Patrick's yard now and
1:09:12Patrick's yard is full of but parts from
1:09:14his like sewer reconstruction business
1:09:16it's me it's not appealing I planted a
1:09:20hedge of photo but the sewer
1:09:22reconstruction business I have a hedge
1:09:24of photinia but it hasn't grown up
1:09:26enough and when it finally does I love
1:09:27that band and the hedge of photinia Oh
1:09:29God the shoegaze fans were so good at
1:09:32dream they open for mission to Burma
1:09:33that was really yeah go back to your
1:09:43list what else you got these are these
1:09:44are new leader this is real reader mail
1:09:46otherwise
1:09:51see yourself getting back in to it or is
1:09:55there a little voice do you have a
1:09:56little voice I bet you got a little bit
1:09:57this don't answer it I see you soon as
1:10:01you see you are being is a is an
1:10:03activity for someone just slightly older
1:10:06than me and maybe a little maybe
1:10:10significantly should wait you should
1:10:12wait and I you know when I got into it I
1:10:14thought I would go to these RV
1:10:15conventions and it'd be full like super
1:10:18foxy people who were all like like in
1:10:21the night you'd hear the doors open and
1:10:22people tiptoeing between RVs you know
1:10:25like I'm here like it was there was a
1:10:29whole I I hoped it was a community and
1:10:31in fact it's a community going this
1:10:34swing a little bit or something fun
1:10:36right but in the main way but like I got
1:10:38a nice clean bit of Swing yes it's
1:10:40sensual clean it's just healthy I mean
1:10:44you know that you're all in RVs you're
1:10:45not like weirdos you don't mind a little
1:10:47you know you don't mind a little mildew
1:10:50on the sill you know Sam but instead
1:10:52every everybody everybody in the RV
1:10:56community they're just in there painting
1:10:58Ronan Minh
1:10:59like they're not I imagine them making
1:11:02ships
1:11:03well ship making sure ships in bottles
1:11:05you mean it could be a bottle I don't
1:11:08know but I think they can fit ships and
1:11:10lots of different things I wouldn't
1:11:11constrain the imagination of a GMC RV
1:11:12owner I think they are tiptoeing between
1:11:15each other's RVs and having sex with
1:11:17each other
1:11:17but coital sex I think so but they are
1:11:21past their prime reproductive years and
1:11:24that
1:11:26you don't think it's just you don't
1:11:27think it's just finger-banging mostly
1:11:29now come on guys we're adults here I
1:11:32think wow I think it's here
1:11:33is there anyone under the person here
1:11:36the Janus person you're yelling at you
1:11:37think you're the youngest person here
1:11:38yell it out
1:11:39come on the other anything people who
1:11:42are teenagers here okay somebody over
1:11:46here was mouth breathing and that's a
1:11:47sign of being a teenager I think the
1:11:50oxley I scored very well I'm well won't
1:11:53migrate average I think there would be
1:11:55more female man except the two the
1:11:58capital C you're blasting the co here
1:11:59the copilot seat are about as far apart
1:12:01as these two seats you say you have to
1:12:04really be like making a big big right
1:12:07yeah but everything everything behind
1:12:10the cockpit converts from something to
1:12:13something else and that's just a dream
1:12:15space of imagination for the finger
1:12:16blaster in your life you could you could
1:12:18be sitting listen you could just hear me
1:12:21out you could be sitting there having a
1:12:22perfectly serviceable homemade meal at
1:12:24that table you flip the fucking table
1:12:26over your legs are up in the air and
1:12:28everybody's getting finger but right in
1:12:30the back in the back is that a bench
1:12:32sure it's a bench guess what I closed
1:12:34the door now it's a bedroom right in
1:12:36here in here come in here I had some
1:12:38french onion onion soup I go on a blast
1:12:40a tutor and guess what it turns it stuff
1:12:42on now it's a shower come on in full
1:12:44fingerblast this is a blast off from
1:12:48every zone in this place you should
1:12:50leave no surface on blasted it's a thing
1:12:54that we don't get I'm ready this fog up
1:12:56the fucking windows right in other
1:12:58countries there are bathrooms that that
1:13:01are small and turn into showers yeah and
1:13:04we don't have that very much in the
1:13:05United States but we mean it like in
1:13:06like a normal house in just your
1:13:08apartment right the bathroom is small
1:13:10and there's a drain in the floor and
1:13:11it's also a shower but I don't know if
1:13:13anyone in the room has ever taken a
1:13:15shower while you were also taking a shit
1:13:17but it's two different or are willing to
1:13:21admit it two different usages of the
1:13:23word take yeah and and neither one
1:13:27really the the normal one which is like
1:13:30to take to take a drink they both say
1:13:32that they're gonna leave they're gonna
1:13:34leave a shit you're gonna yeah
1:13:35you're gonna offer a shit but also like
1:13:37you're not it's not just that you're
1:13:39taking the shower right you're like it's
1:13:41called respecting the Royals yeah but
1:13:43it's a great experience I highly
1:13:45recommend it to everybody
1:13:47it's ATO like this really stands up with
1:13:49the sandwich during sex it's that same
1:13:50kind of thing if you could do more than
1:13:51one thing at a time in that bathroom
1:13:52shouldn't you you know just so many
1:13:55options
1:13:56it's already little bit of mildew smell
1:13:57oh it's like a meatball in the bathtub
1:13:58well when you told me there were balls I
1:14:07was all thinking about your table I have
1:14:11a desk I made up my own design oh won't
1:14:14you sign it with your tiny pen
1:14:17finger-blasting oh I could do this all
1:14:25night it's stop laughing or I will I'll
1:14:28scrape the mildew from your window see
1:14:31you come smell my drapes
1:14:34I would I would go to this show if you
1:14:44did just a one-man off-broadway thing
1:14:45where you just there's somebody in here
1:14:47one day is gonna accent be somewhere be
1:14:49a little bit high please listen to some
1:14:52of my programs and pretty girls make
1:14:53graves this song by the Smiths is gonna
1:14:55come on the radio and they're gonna have
1:14:56a lot of problems
1:15:01listener Matt how he says if we're going
1:15:03to join John and collecting Filson bags
1:15:05what's a good price range on eBay for a
1:15:08weekend sized Filson duffel bag and what
1:15:10was the best era of Filson bag years to
1:15:13look for answer any or all parts that
1:15:16you want a phony award-winner this is
1:15:18all gravy this is super difficult for me
1:15:20because I hate to be up to do like free
1:15:24advertising for this brand but I also
1:15:25feel like yeah I've kind of given myself
1:15:27this like they could do a lot more for
1:15:30you know you see me having a Filson bag
1:15:33right now they do a lot is reflective of
1:15:34my life I don't have a Phil sin bag
1:15:36the thing about this is the curious
1:15:37thing about Phil some bags for those of
1:15:38you who are curious they are not
1:15:40actually an old thing Filson made
1:15:45jackets and vests and shirts black pants
1:15:47and boots
1:15:48pants yeah and then in the 90s
1:15:51someone at the Filson company said what
1:15:54if we made luggage I thought that that
1:15:57person was going in surprise but in fact
1:16:00they were just preparing to cough and
1:16:03that is the appropriate reaction to this
1:16:06story it's very dull so anyway Matt Matt
1:16:10Howie when you're just a little bit
1:16:13lighter he's so good at GMC RVs here's
1:16:16what's my remember there was a time I
1:16:18had an anecdote about bags the bags at
1:16:22the time were quite unusual in the sense
1:16:24that they were neither particularly old
1:16:27or demonstrable inu and the frost of the
1:16:32anecdote was it there in light of the
1:16:34bargain but now I'm there was a band
1:16:41called the gits
1:16:42the kids did not have the bags I believe
1:16:44in yeah yeah I'm going to do my eBay
1:16:49store this year and I'm going to sell
1:16:51I'm going to sell my all listener Julie
1:16:54says what's up with the eBay store yeah
1:16:57I'm gonna sell so much stuff on there
1:17:00it's gonna be amazing if you are an
1:17:02extra large or know someone who is or
1:17:05one or or want to be like someone in the
1:17:1190s who's wearing clothes that were too
1:17:13big for them huh or you want some bags
1:17:16or you want some handed Ronan bags for
1:17:21the extra-large right where you want
1:17:23alike nesting dolls of different Russian
1:17:27premiers my eBay store is gonna be the
1:17:31thing for you and I think it's called I
1:17:34don't know what it's called you got a
1:17:35name on the account thing at some point
1:17:39is it super it was Morgan Morgan Morgan
1:17:41Morgan rides frickin hahaha that's it
1:17:45that's catchy
1:17:46yes good do you remember the story
1:17:48behind Morgan rides free uh tell me
1:17:51again when I was Freight hot I come up
1:17:53with some kind of clever URL that you
1:17:55could redirect Morgan rides for you URL
1:17:58[Music]
1:17:59any town USA one two three four five
1:18:03when I was a teenager and I first
1:18:04started hopping freights there were
1:18:06still old men who wrote their handles in
1:18:09chalk or in charcoal on the trains
1:18:12they'd ridden like you know Bob's your
1:18:15uncle was you know like March for hope a
1:18:18little little Kilroy Was Here
1:18:21noses and stuff like that and I needed a
1:18:24handle and I didn't have a good one and
1:18:27it was before I could really brand
1:18:29things very well
1:18:30yeah I'm not still not very good at
1:18:32branding things hence the name of this
1:18:34Morgan my my middle name is Morgan it is
1:18:44I was super into riding free both free
1:18:49on these trains that don't cost money
1:18:51because you're I've been so much worse
1:18:53that could be so much shittier Roderick
1:18:56is blazed yeah and there are hobo
1:19:00handles like that like there are 420
1:19:03who'll Tod 420 but but then and then I
1:19:06tried to shorten it to Murph
1:19:09MRF Murph like Murph and that wasn't
1:19:12good and RF MRF Murph earth it could be
1:19:15because it's icy it fix it fix it again
1:19:19Tony capital and lowercase U and then
1:19:23Morgan Morgan uber rides free and then
1:19:27and then some then I was in a like a
1:19:30briefly in a hip hop community where
1:19:32there was a lot of tagging going on and
1:19:34there was a suggestion that I needed a
1:19:35tag and so they they decided that my tag
1:19:40was eggs because I was an egghead and so
1:19:43I was eggs but and so the nose ox I know
1:19:46and then I saw a really really bad and I
1:19:49was out trying to tag things with a
1:19:50sharpie as like eggs to draw a
1:19:52photorealistic a the thing is that
1:19:55nice ones over medium much hit it
1:19:57through long if you look at the if you
1:19:59look at the history of tags and hip-hop
1:20:01you will see that the people don't use
1:20:03the letter G very often because it's not
1:20:06very smooth like there's not a cool
1:20:08smooth way to it's like trying to get
1:20:10the app switcher on your iPhone 10 yeah
1:20:12right like if you've got gesture like if
1:20:14you've got a spray can and you're doing
1:20:15a that's really nice like even a bee but
1:20:19like G kind of ends and so I started
1:20:21doing those G's that are like little
1:20:24circle big circle and kind of trying to
1:20:26make him look like eggs like a 14 year
1:20:28old girl yeah but then but then I
1:20:30realized that that was really egg headed
1:20:32of me and I was living up to my name
1:20:38that's right but there's no good we I
1:20:41need a lot of time for our D focusing on
1:20:43Suzie
1:20:43first of all does anybody have things
1:20:45that they would like to oh sure there
1:20:46are a lot of questions well I want to
1:20:47make sure I don't cut the scene but have
1:20:48things they would like to ask John this
1:20:49could be very very short oh well why
1:20:51don't we bring up the help well let me
1:20:52let me just maybe one more you pick you
1:20:54pick here's your options o listener
1:20:58Shannon wants to know how the house
1:20:59renovations are coming they're fine
1:21:03I thought for a while that I had bats
1:21:05are I had rats in the walls again and I
1:21:08couldn't figure out how they were
1:21:08getting in and then I realized I had
1:21:10bats no rats dispensed had bats in the
1:21:12Attic and they got in because one it's
1:21:14not Castle tats no it's bad it's bats
1:21:17and I and I realized that that Psalm
1:21:20when I asked him to plug the hole that I
1:21:23knew was next to the was next to the
1:21:25chimney psalm told me that he had but he
1:21:29hadn't because it's a real game of
1:21:32whack-a-mole with song
1:21:33yes he's something fairly specific over
1:21:35here and he goes around the corner he's
1:21:36got a different thing yeah I didn't go
1:21:37up with the Tanners gutter ladders that
1:21:38it would take to get up there to say
1:21:40like no this hole and so he didn't plug
1:21:42in and now bats are coming in that's a
1:21:44good I don't think oh yeah did you find
1:21:47out where he peed Psalm no I think he
1:21:49peed in the feta nia over by a show of
1:21:51hands for anybody who doesn't okay
1:21:52listen here's the thing John had Psalm
1:21:54coming out to his house for about eight
1:21:55years he came out almost every day
1:21:57sometimes he wouldn't show up for six
1:21:58weeks song came out to his house as his
1:22:00contractor friend and companion it was
1:22:02kind of like a Green Hornet and Kato
1:22:03type situation show of hands
1:22:06psalm never peed the entire time he was
1:22:09ever at the house clapping I'm pretty
1:22:11cold on that that's good okay okay all
1:22:14right you know god bless you
1:22:16other show hands saw I'm just fuckin
1:22:18ruin that yard with P show of hands
1:22:20it just stands so easy no I don't think
1:22:23so
1:22:24you think there's something in his
1:22:25makeup at being ping-pong you see
1:22:26there's something about something says
1:22:27in this line you do not cross you do not
1:22:30pee on this on this territory you think
1:22:31he just knew I was respect
1:22:33it's like Henry Hill as a teenager psalm
1:22:35escaped from the killing fields of
1:22:37Cambodia and found his way we had to pee
1:22:40really bad his way through Thailand to
1:22:42my house to all the way to fixing my
1:22:44porch and and lying to me about the hole
1:22:46in the roof I'm pretty sure that Psalm
1:22:49can hold his pee for six hours but also
1:22:52the fact that I have bats and not rats
1:22:54is now inhibiting me adopting veto
1:22:56because vetoes that kind of kung-fu veto
1:23:00was a rat killer oh and oh this is this
1:23:03is how the cat the cat okay I don't know
1:23:04if you know this but it's illegal to
1:23:06kill bats in the United States
1:23:07you see illegal to kill bats in the
1:23:08United States that federal you can't I
1:23:11see USC type situation does anybody know
1:23:13what laws or a battle here
1:23:21to the appellate court Robin I'm the
1:23:24real bat lawyer I'm not gonna bury
1:23:27another bat lawyer uh we should get to
1:23:30the questions there was a second there
1:23:31was a big request actually from a guest
1:23:33of yours hears that you talk about the
1:23:35Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy movie
1:23:38but we probably don't have time for that
1:23:40the person the the thing when you said
1:23:42what should we talk about was you they
1:23:44wanted me to talk about that
1:23:45Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy movie
1:23:47listener 20:49 says honestly the only
1:23:51thing comes to mind was the airport John
1:23:52was about to give his opinion on the
1:23:54Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy movie
1:23:56before changing topics and never coming
1:23:58back to it we have a hard out at 9:30
1:24:01right this is one of the that story The
1:24:04Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy story
1:24:05is one of the real long tale Roderick on
1:24:08the line stories it's gonna come back
1:24:10eventually okay we'll come back to that
1:24:11well we should we should probably you
1:24:12know might like my wife and daughter are
1:24:14reading that right now are they it's a
1:24:15wonderful book it's a very good book I
1:24:17get to the third book it's not funny
1:24:18anymore
1:24:19all right I want to take questions
1:24:21because I know there are some
1:24:22enthusiastic ones yeah but Mike or
1:24:24should we no no just yell oh that was
1:24:30gone I there's a lot of turnover in the
1:24:32neighborhood no I have never had the
1:24:35house that I still I did LSD in college
1:24:39and it was a bad idea and then I did LSD
1:24:43again and again and I said it so much of
1:24:46the LSD and I really regret it cuz
1:24:47there's times when I have things
1:24:49happening in my life that I think are
1:24:50real and that was a lot like that day
1:24:53with the Chinese food but I was there
1:24:54yeah you say you were there that's true
1:24:57this is exactly what I expect from Lucy
1:25:00I feel like they went back back to Alpha
1:25:02Centauri yeah how the hell if not having
1:25:05a lobster on that you know what they did
1:25:06they were like we need to learn to make
1:25:07tea and then we come back I think well I
1:25:10think what they said is like let's chow
1:25:11let's just kind of float this on a
1:25:12couple obviously this place is going to
1:25:15be a training ground for teaching Grey's
1:25:17she kind of mostly pretend right that
1:25:21they that they that their normals hence
1:25:24the looks anybody else have another
1:25:25question anyone it's okay if you don't
1:25:28don't
1:25:29or you know ma'am there on the side does
1:25:37John have a favorite piece of hate mail
1:25:39and if so what is it well just thinking
1:25:48about that eyelid this is not asked to
1:25:49meet you rating yeah no go ahead there's
1:25:52new kind of favorite genre I think I
1:25:53think this is a spin-off of Twitter as a
1:25:56genre and my new favorite is just when
1:25:59anybody is such a fan of what I do that
1:26:01they take the time to reach out to me
1:26:02for the first time with a grievance and
1:26:04a hostility and it's just it's so nice
1:26:07to find out that somebody is a fan it's
1:26:09not even it's not even a shit sandwich
1:26:11is the shit shit which of just how
1:26:14terribly disappointed they are such a
1:26:16fan for 15 years and really I just can't
1:26:19even anymore that's a nice that's a nice
1:26:21Jean Ron it's nice to disappoint people
1:26:23you haven't met yet and then find out
1:26:24later my favorite piece of email
1:26:27actually was generated here in San
1:26:28Francisco
1:26:29oh by I know in fact I think you were so
1:26:31proud I think it was Sacramento it
1:26:33actually came from because I
1:26:37hi I played a show with the with my band
1:26:40the long winters at the independent a
1:26:42club here and yeah that was that right
1:26:45and that was the show where I came out
1:26:46at the beginning of the show playing
1:26:49like a big electric guitar soul which we
1:26:51usually save for the end of the show and
1:26:53in the course of playing my dramatic
1:26:54excellent guitar solo I fell backwards
1:26:58over my amplifier into a hole created by
1:27:03drums and amplifier part no stage area
1:27:06yeah there were some cars back there
1:27:08which I landed on breaking one in half
1:27:11and then still the band kept playing cuz
1:27:15they know what to do when you say it
1:27:17happened in slow motion
1:27:18it doesn't really capture how long it
1:27:20took for this to happen it was not an
1:27:22easy fall it was not like a dead wood
1:27:24help me with my fall fall this is more
1:27:26like it's like crunch with my feet oh
1:27:35the only thing visible is my feet up in
1:27:37the air but from behind they call that
1:27:38the annual exam I can I continued to
1:27:43solo and then flopped over climbed up
1:27:50got back to the front of the stage still
1:27:52playing guitar the band was still
1:27:53playing I was like yeah right and at
1:27:56that time I had really long hair and I
1:27:58was missing a front tooth as you do and
1:28:00I got a letter from a woman who said I
1:28:03am a really big fan of your band I
1:28:05really love your record when I pretend
1:28:08to fall this is the first time I ever
1:28:09son came to see you play reaching out
1:28:12and you had so little respect for the
1:28:13audience to come out so stinking drunk
1:28:17at which point you know and this at this
1:28:20point I had been sober 17 years sit
1:28:22still very disrespectful and then she
1:28:25said and you proceeded to play every
1:28:27song different from the album and you
1:28:29did all this talking about God no
1:28:32chemtrails and whatever else
1:28:34and like why didn't you just put on a
1:28:36professional show I'm really
1:28:37disillusioned what did you say well I
1:28:39was like that's the show what's in the
1:28:41show is in the shows it's true
1:28:43okay one more yeah okay we got a gal
1:28:47question somebody that really feel
1:28:49strong
1:28:49Oh album coming that's great that's
1:28:53great thank you I really I really was
1:28:59hoping someone would ask more question
1:29:10that is not one that's trying to kill me
1:29:12yes