Roderick on the Line

Ep. 277: "Old Sauce"


00:00:00   this episode of Roderick Online was [TS]

00:00:02   recorded on Monday January 22nd 2018 [TS]

00:00:05   it's a good hi Marilyn [TS]

00:00:13   how's it going slow slow slow though [TS]

00:00:17   mm-hmm is my tempo mm yeah me too I had [TS]

00:00:24   a migraine last night Oh Merlin yes yes [TS]

00:00:27   I'm sorry oh you know I'd complain but [TS]

00:00:30   who'd listen me I I ate the booger I [TS]

00:00:35   I've discovered that I I really enjoy [TS]

00:00:38   some herbal teas like a celestial [TS]

00:00:41   Seasonings so I've been drinking a lot [TS]

00:00:42   of that and apparently I think I [TS]

00:00:44   neglected to drink anything with [TS]

00:00:46   caffeine in it all day yesterday Oh [TS]

00:00:49   which I didn't notice until about nine [TS]

00:00:52   o'clock last night Oh [TS]

00:00:56   nine o'clock headache you'll clear right [TS]

00:00:58   up I'll just go to bed o-genki [TS]

00:01:01   oopsy doopsy I woke up at midnight no [TS]

00:01:06   yeah no but you know it'sit's sometimes [TS]

00:01:09   I can talk myself out of it I'm no John [TS]

00:01:11   Roderick but sometimes I can say to [TS]

00:01:12   myself I am feeling this pain but the [TS]

00:01:16   pain is not going to bother me I will [TS]

00:01:17   just feel the pain as a thing and I'm [TS]

00:01:19   not gonna let it trouble me mmm I want [TS]

00:01:21   power through this mm-hmm porunn power [TS]

00:01:24   through this I will be mellow about this [TS]

00:01:25   and not stress about this and that will [TS]

00:01:26   be okay mm-hmm and I eventually got to [TS]

00:01:29   sleep it worked it kind of works I mean [TS]

00:01:34   I got up and I did the usual thing of [TS]

00:01:36   like you don't don't they don't stay in [TS]

00:01:37   bed if you can't sleep so I got up when [TS]

00:01:39   I took a shower took a hot shower and [TS]

00:01:40   I'm Monet did this like oh yeah and I [TS]

00:01:44   put it on that special thunderous [TS]

00:01:46   setting you know where hits you hard on [TS]

00:01:48   the neck yeah sometimes if you got a [TS]

00:01:50   normal headache that can actually help a [TS]

00:01:51   lot because I think part of it is when [TS]

00:01:53   you're feeling this is super interesting [TS]

00:01:54   whenever you got like a pain or a [TS]

00:01:56   headache or something I think your body [TS]

00:01:58   overcompensates and tightens up and then [TS]

00:02:00   that just makes it worse yeah yeah but [TS]

00:02:03   you don't experience pain oh I could see [TS]

00:02:11   you choosing to just not allow it [TS]

00:02:13   the other the other day when you and I [TS]

00:02:15   saw each other recently a while back the [TS]

00:02:27   day came out I'm sure yeah somewhere [TS]

00:02:31   back in the day back in the day was [TS]

00:02:33   where we were phony award-winning [TS]

00:02:35   podcasters it was right about the time [TS]

00:02:37   okay yeah I felt like I was gonna throw [TS]

00:02:42   up I felt like I was gonna throw up the [TS]

00:02:44   entire day and and I refused to allow it [TS]

00:02:48   I refused to some submit and then at the [TS]

00:02:52   end of the day I did anyway have some [TS]

00:02:55   throw-ups this is to the fact that your [TS]

00:03:02   wonderful daughter had thrown up all [TS]

00:03:04   over you that's right it's the gift that [TS]

00:03:05   keeps on giving [TS]

00:03:07   60 good hours and then I woke up the [TS]

00:03:10   entire floor of your hotel room so you [TS]

00:03:17   know I can fight it but then an O in it [TS]

00:03:19   you know it was terrible [TS]

00:03:20   also it's not just like that I that I [TS]

00:03:22   passionately threw up yeah but you and I [TS]

00:03:26   had a similar last night not not that I [TS]

00:03:30   had a headache but in the middle of the [TS]

00:03:33   night two o'clock in the morning I said [TS]

00:03:36   I'm hungry and of course I wasn't hmm [TS]

00:03:39   you were sleeping is what you were yeah [TS]

00:03:41   but I was like I'm in the state that I [TS]

00:03:46   was in I I came downstairs [TS]

00:03:50   I found one hamburger bun that was [TS]

00:03:52   frozen I took to Nathan's Famous hot [TS]

00:03:58   dogs i microwaved the the collection of [TS]

00:04:03   these things I sliced the hotdogs down [TS]

00:04:06   the middle so they had a flat side and [TS]

00:04:08   then I cut him in half so that they were [TS]

00:04:11   little [TS]

00:04:12   Lynette's wiener ads I piled him on top [TS]

00:04:16   of this hamburger bun covered the whole [TS]

00:04:20   lot with a slice of Swiss cheese [TS]

00:04:23   microwaved it again just for good [TS]

00:04:26   measure milk cheese and I started eating [TS]

00:04:31   my ham buy a hot dog burger and my front [TS]

00:04:37   tooth broke out oh come on your special [TS]

00:04:40   tooth yeah so now I'm sitting here oh [TS]

00:04:42   yeah and I well you know and I thought [TS]

00:04:46   maybe if I go to sleep yeah but in fact [TS]

00:04:58   now I have to deal with this today Oh [TS]

00:05:01   John yeah and I I'm I'm hilariously [TS]

00:05:05   lisping but I know I don't really notice [TS]

00:05:07   it except when you're making a joke [TS]

00:05:09   about it yeah but there's a tiny little [TS]

00:05:10   sip sibilance okay little fib along you [TS]

00:05:18   know that's so sad you're such a warrior [TS]

00:05:21   you're like the Magellan of meats like [TS]

00:05:23   you're so good I'd like just getting out [TS]

00:05:24   there and saying like I'm just gonna do [TS]

00:05:26   some stuff with food and see what [TS]

00:05:27   happens you're really you get in there a [TS]

00:05:29   lot of people are saying yeah I don't [TS]

00:05:30   have a proper meal here it seems to me [TS]

00:05:32   that you are you should be rewarded for [TS]

00:05:34   your ability to cobble together a [TS]

00:05:36   delicious super snack out of whatever's [TS]

00:05:38   available and I salute you for that I'm [TS]

00:05:40   sorry your tooth fell short for that [TS]

00:05:42   yeah well like the writing was on the [TS]

00:05:46   wall it was it had been a long time [TS]

00:05:47   since I'd had that tooth repaired and [TS]

00:05:49   honestly my dentist now wants to affect [TS]

00:05:54   a permanent solution just continuing [TS]

00:05:57   continuing resolution till February and [TS]

00:06:00   we'll be fine big man like you with that [TS]

00:06:17   sound it's really cute yeah did you did [TS]

00:06:20   you make it quickly okay first of all [TS]

00:06:21   fuck Dennis but also you know they [TS]

00:06:23   always got a plan he's got a plan for [TS]

00:06:26   your life he's got a plan they got a [TS]

00:06:27   plan they see you they see you as a [TS]

00:06:29   handful of teeth of the checkbook you [TS]

00:06:30   know fuck those guys but [TS]

00:06:34   not including all the dentists that [TS]

00:06:36   listen to this show though you know you [TS]

00:06:39   can pay him in dental corner you were of [TS]

00:06:40   dental Oy it's a new coin for the dental [TS]

00:06:44   industry denta coin did I mention this [TS]

00:06:46   to you already [TS]

00:06:47   does it also rise and fall with the wind [TS]

00:06:49   can I get rich on dental corn nobody's [TS]

00:06:52   getting rich on coin so the tooth has [TS]

00:06:58   been so you've had a surrogate tooth for [TS]

00:07:03   a pretty long time right long time now [TS]

00:07:05   ten years yeah so that so there's that [TS]

00:07:07   time when you had your long [TS]

00:07:08   rock-and-roll hair and the missing tooth [TS]

00:07:09   and you just went with it not a lot with [TS]

00:07:11   it the whole tooth was gone at that [TS]

00:07:13   point right yep okay and then at some [TS]

00:07:16   point you used to come to the big tooth [TS]

00:07:19   and you went ahead and got your thing [TS]

00:07:21   put back in what's the what's the I [TS]

00:07:24   don't know what's the lifetime of a [TS]

00:07:27   replacement tooth how often do you need [TS]

00:07:28   to get it dealt with well it's a great [TS]

00:07:32   question I mean like for example do you [TS]

00:07:35   know when the clock is ticking do you [TS]

00:07:36   get a warning sign this is getting loose [TS]

00:07:38   this is getting wobbly so the way that [TS]

00:07:41   my tooth is is fastened in there is nah [TS]

00:07:44   not I I think when my dentist goes to [TS]

00:07:47   her continuing education classes where [TS]

00:07:50   she gets together with all the other [TS]

00:07:51   dentists and they talk about all their [TS]

00:07:52   new technologies yeah she probably does [TS]

00:07:55   not pull up a slide where she says and [TS]

00:07:58   in this case this guy won't make a [TS]

00:08:01   decision and so I have super glued this [TS]

00:08:04   tooth in between the other two [TS]

00:08:06   19:40 stick he won't wear a pontiff [TS]

00:08:11   which is a kind of like to thinking [TS]

00:08:14   pontiff or whatever a Pontic uh-huh he [TS]

00:08:17   won't wear one he refuses to mm-hmm he [TS]

00:08:20   won't he refuses this all the surgeries [TS]

00:08:24   and now increasingly he has refused to [TS]

00:08:26   just get a like a bridge like a like an [TS]

00:08:29   old like an old person would that's [TS]

00:08:32   where they say if I understand that [TS]

00:08:33   correctly I mean cuz my wife's been [TS]

00:08:34   through some of this you know she had [TS]

00:08:35   the jaw surgery that was like so [TS]

00:08:37   involved and involved two things and gum [TS]

00:08:40   things and she's still getting gum [TS]

00:08:41   grafts and all this kind of stuff like [TS]

00:08:43   they want to really get in there they [TS]

00:08:44   want to make you into like a cyborg [TS]

00:08:46   they would put like screws in your head [TS]

00:08:47   and shit right oh yeah they wanna you [TS]

00:08:49   know they want to get their saws out and [TS]

00:08:51   cut my cut my whole thing apart yeah I [TS]

00:08:53   mean remake me the crazy thing is that [TS]

00:08:56   if you go to most doctors and say my [TS]

00:09:03   knee is killing me I want to get a fake [TS]

00:09:06   knee I want to get a robot knee right [TS]

00:09:10   the doctors say look slow your roll we [TS]

00:09:15   got other options here well and yeah and [TS]

00:09:17   the consensus seems to be until your [TS]

00:09:22   thing until your natural thing actually [TS]

00:09:24   fails the no matter how good a job we do [TS]

00:09:30   the fake thing is never gonna be as good [TS]

00:09:35   and complication-free [TS]

00:09:36   as even a badly working natural thing [TS]

00:09:40   yeah [TS]

00:09:41   so don't fuck with it it's like an old [TS]

00:09:43   car I'm in some ways right where like if [TS]

00:09:46   you start replacing parts willy-nilly [TS]

00:09:47   you don't know what you're undoing with [TS]

00:09:49   each thing that you're doing yeah I have [TS]

00:09:51   a my best friend from high school has [TS]

00:09:53   had back problems for a long time and [TS]

00:09:55   thank goodness that I have never had [TS]

00:09:59   back problems oh yeah I don't know about [TS]

00:10:01   you know I feel so I feel that's one [TS]

00:10:03   where I feel so fortunate my mom had [TS]

00:10:05   chronic neck and back problems through [TS]

00:10:08   my whole youth and she was just [TS]

00:10:09   miserable the whole time of course I [TS]

00:10:10   thought it was because she was old and [TS]

00:10:11   had done something wrong I really was [TS]

00:10:14   your body gets fucked up yeah on my pal [TS]

00:10:18   his back went out I was with him when it [TS]

00:10:22   happened he was 20 for the first time [TS]

00:10:27   and you know and he couldn't I mean I [TS]

00:10:30   had to carry him and it was traumatic [TS]

00:10:33   for us both but he has been suffering [TS]

00:10:37   with this back problem his whole life [TS]

00:10:38   and and you know I [TS]

00:10:41   I've gotten away scot-free I'm pretty [TS]

00:10:44   I'm pretty big and I I worried that my [TS]

00:10:48   back was gonna be was gonna you know be [TS]

00:10:52   in trouble but [TS]

00:10:54   I he called me earlier this year and [TS]

00:10:56   said just wanted to call I hadn't talked [TS]

00:10:59   to you in a while I'm going into surgery [TS]

00:11:00   I'm having this major back surgery and [TS]

00:11:05   it involved like going in through the [TS]

00:11:07   front and the back and putting all this [TS]

00:11:13   stuff in there and and you know but he [TS]

00:11:15   was like I'm at the point now where by [TS]

00:11:17   not getting it done I'm I'm having nerve [TS]

00:11:21   damage to my feet you know I might not [TS]

00:11:23   and then it's a whole spinal column [TS]

00:11:26   thing yeah and even then he called me [TS]

00:11:29   then a couple of weeks later and he was [TS]

00:11:30   like we're holding off and it's because [TS]

00:11:35   the the rate of success is like it's not [TS]

00:11:39   that it's low it's just that you just [TS]

00:11:41   enter into a whole other world where you [TS]

00:11:44   can't go back to not having at the [TS]

00:11:46   surgery but in the dental world my [TS]

00:11:51   goodness they are very very enthusiastic [TS]

00:11:53   about these men these major surgeries [TS]

00:11:56   that involve your entire face and I've [TS]

00:11:59   never had anybody say and I've talked to [TS]

00:12:03   a lot of people about it it's not just [TS]

00:12:04   one person never had anybody say well [TS]

00:12:07   you know whatever problem you're having [TS]

00:12:10   it's probably gonna be in the long run [TS]

00:12:14   less of a big deal than sawing your face [TS]

00:12:17   in half and grafting it together with [TS]

00:12:20   titanium bolts and you know don't worry [TS]

00:12:23   we've got that all fake it's a very [TS]

00:12:24   personal area we're like a little kid [TS]

00:12:28   and you have a loose tooth and how it [TS]

00:12:30   like even when it's just loose let alone [TS]

00:12:32   like close to coming out it changes the [TS]

00:12:34   way you feel like the way that you bite [TS]

00:12:37   the way your whole face feels yeah and [TS]

00:12:39   they're very careful here about saying [TS]

00:12:40   well we got a whole program we can go [TS]

00:12:41   through here I learned about any [TS]

00:12:42   newsletter there's a whole thing you saw [TS]

00:12:44   your face in half we put in some screws [TS]

00:12:45   and then your life will be you know [TS]

00:12:47   different yeah I told I told you I mean [TS]

00:12:50   the the shocker for me was that for [TS]

00:12:52   years and years they'd been saying we're [TS]

00:12:55   gonna break your lower jaw saw some [TS]

00:12:57   piece of it out and move your lower jaw [TS]

00:13:00   back so that it fits with your yes my [TS]

00:13:03   lady had done [TS]

00:13:04   right man when she was in that state you [TS]

00:13:06   saw that one time I don't she was that's [TS]

00:13:08   a hell of a thing [TS]

00:13:10   massive thing she was really laid up is [TS]

00:13:13   that right I don't know that is no my [TS]

00:13:16   teeth just comes straight on - ha [TS]

00:13:19   there's no over I got like a raptor yeah [TS]

00:13:23   the over-under is that I am just like a [TS]

00:13:25   yeah like a like a Wolf Trap and and I [TS]

00:13:30   guess one of the things of course is [TS]

00:13:32   that your teeth do wear whereas your you [TS]

00:13:38   know like I well honestly that's the [TS]

00:13:40   story of getting old everything wears [TS]

00:13:41   here's my my knee creaks because it's [TS]

00:13:44   just wearing out just like your car does [TS]

00:13:46   not start an infinite number of times [TS]

00:13:48   every if you if you're the kind of nerd [TS]

00:13:51   that I am you know that when you buy a [TS]

00:13:52   laptop and you turn it on and you go and [TS]

00:13:54   look at the battery information your [TS]

00:13:56   laptop is rated for 1000 charges but if [TS]

00:13:59   you think about it in terms of like [TS]

00:14:00   years you go oh I think this thing [TS]

00:14:02   should be good for three four five years [TS]

00:14:03   we think about in terms of after 1,000 [TS]

00:14:06   charges I'm off the reservation this [TS]

00:14:08   thing just may not work anymore and then [TS]

00:14:10   pretty soon you get like Donald Trump [TS]

00:14:11   you start stressing in your body's a [TS]

00:14:12   battery and you should ride and ride in [TS]

00:14:13   a car when you play golf every time you [TS]

00:14:17   start your car that's one less time your [TS]

00:14:18   car will start yep yep [TS]

00:14:21   every time I bite into a late night hot [TS]

00:14:23   dog sandwich it's you know there's not [TS]

00:14:27   an infinite number of those in my future [TS]

00:14:34   oh sure I mean that's the thing when [TS]

00:14:38   you're young you think like you got hot [TS]

00:14:40   dogs am just stretching to infinity well [TS]

00:14:49   let's think how many more times am I [TS]

00:14:50   gonna make that sandwich I know I know I [TS]

00:14:54   know [TS]

00:14:54   in my life how many how many times will [TS]

00:14:57   I be in a position where I will be [TS]

00:14:58   allowed to make that sandwich you ever [TS]

00:14:59   calculate how many Saturdays you get [TS]

00:15:01   before your kid stops liking you don't [TS]

00:15:05   do it but-but-but the term of the [TS]

00:15:10   terminal moment with the dentist's was [TS]

00:15:12   the time I went in to talk to a [TS]

00:15:14   specialist and he was this like [TS]

00:15:17   he was a diminutive man with a big white [TS]

00:15:20   sort of Einstein haircut who drove a [TS]

00:15:23   Porsche 911 which is how you know you [TS]

00:15:25   have got a good dentist and and I think [TS]

00:15:30   he was probably wearing driving shoes [TS]

00:15:32   and maybe even driving gloves and he [TS]

00:15:38   said he said and I was like wow you know [TS]

00:15:41   everybody wants to break my jaw move it [TS]

00:15:43   backward and he laughed at me as though [TS]

00:15:47   that was my idea right and he was like [TS]

00:15:49   let me ask you a question what what do [TS]

00:15:55   you think happens when you when you like [TS]

00:15:57   move a jaw back does it does it improve [TS]

00:16:02   your airflow or what it constrict your [TS]

00:16:05   airflow and I'm like it's just a I [TS]

00:16:09   didn't know there was gonna be a test [TS]

00:16:10   Yeah right [TS]

00:16:11   I have no dog in this race why don't you [TS]

00:16:14   tell me and he was like no no we don't [TS]

00:16:16   do that anymore we don't move the jaw [TS]

00:16:17   back because it just makes your airway [TS]

00:16:21   more constricted and I was like I don't [TS]

00:16:24   like the sound of us constricted airway [TS]

00:16:26   he says exactly [TS]

00:16:27   he said now we cut the your top palate [TS]

00:16:31   off and then it improves your that [TS]

00:16:36   sounds so much if it's the top and not [TS]

00:16:38   the bottom my gosh Wow how could you [TS]

00:16:40   refuse like yeah Wow a piece of pizza [TS]

00:16:44   too fast and my palates ruined for three [TS]

00:16:46   days they were just moving forward my [TS]

00:16:48   airflow of you greatly improved they [TS]

00:16:50   wouldn't get mouth meat anymore oh but [TS]

00:16:52   this you know like in the and I think [TS]

00:16:54   this is true of all the surgeries right [TS]

00:16:55   in the back surgery world there are [TS]

00:16:57   people walking around or maybe not [TS]

00:16:59   walking around whose backs were or were [TS]

00:17:03   operated on thirty five years ago and [TS]

00:17:05   they put they put like two big metal [TS]

00:17:08   bars in there and screwed it together [TS]

00:17:10   put gaffers tape around it and stand [TS]

00:17:12   together with drywall screws and [TS]

00:17:14   nowadays they go in and you know they [TS]

00:17:18   they they whistle while they work and [TS]

00:17:20   they put some fiber-optic cable in there [TS]

00:17:22   and you've got CCTV and it's a whole [TS]

00:17:26   different game but it doesn't make you [TS]

00:17:30   feel like [TS]

00:17:31   this is the other problem of Technology [TS]

00:17:34   right where you feel like now the [TS]

00:17:36   technology of right now the top forward [TS]

00:17:39   technology right now is as good as a [TS]

00:17:42   thing is gonna get mm-hmm but what do [TS]

00:17:46   you do you get back surgery and then six [TS]

00:17:47   weeks later somebody puts up a slide at [TS]

00:17:49   the continuing education dinner and says [TS]

00:17:51   we've figured it out never do that again [TS]

00:17:54   let me introduce you to patients 35 [TS]

00:18:00   fuck-all about medicine but it's always [TS]

00:18:03   seemed so strange to me the way that [TS]

00:18:04   drug trials work especially when it [TS]

00:18:06   comes to something like like a [TS]

00:18:07   life-saving drug like an AIDS drug or a [TS]

00:18:08   cancer drug and the only as I understand [TS]

00:18:10   it the only really scientifically valid [TS]

00:18:12   way is to have a test group in a control [TS]

00:18:14   group yeah so like half of the people [TS]

00:18:16   getting it are getting you know a sugar [TS]

00:18:19   pill yeah because that's what you got to [TS]

00:18:20   do for the science but like when you go [TS]

00:18:22   in you got the guy with the Porsche and [TS]

00:18:24   the driving shoes it kind of feels like [TS]

00:18:25   this guy is gonna be on my side this guy [TS]

00:18:27   has the great state of the art [TS]

00:18:28   technologies but then it just comes down [TS]

00:18:30   to like I don't know Star Trek versus [TS]

00:18:32   Star Wars people and like oh you know no [TS]

00:18:34   this is definitely the way this is [TS]

00:18:36   definitely the way you you don't want it [TS]

00:18:37   you don't want to get with this off the [TS]

00:18:38   bottom half guys those guys are [TS]

00:18:40   hucksters off the top top train it's [TS]

00:18:46   like the Dead Kennedys say you know one [TS]

00:18:48   thing's fixed and the other falls apart [TS]

00:18:49   Jesus Christ Wow huh jello so right now [TS]

00:18:53   trust your mechanic you know what I'm [TS]

00:18:55   saying trust your mechanic this episode [TS]

00:18:57   of Roderick on the line is brought to [TS]

00:18:59   you by Mack Weldon you can learn more [TS]

00:19:01   about Mack Weldon right now by going to [TS]

00:19:03   Mack Weldon calm ma si que wel tion calm [TS]

00:19:07   just like it sounds and when you go [TS]

00:19:09   there and shop you will get 20% off your [TS]

00:19:12   order using the promo code ro TL and [TS]

00:19:14   what kinds of things we find in your [TS]

00:19:16   order well I'm here to tell you I'm a [TS]

00:19:18   huge fan of Mack Weldon I buy tons of [TS]

00:19:19   their clothes with my own money and [TS]

00:19:21   you're gonna find great stuff there [TS]

00:19:22   because Mack Weldon is better than [TS]

00:19:24   whatever you're wearing right now [TS]

00:19:25   because Matt golden believes in smart [TS]

00:19:28   design premium fabrics and simple [TS]

00:19:30   shopping this is really true their [TS]

00:19:31   website is so easy to use it's so easy [TS]

00:19:33   especially we've ordered from them [TS]

00:19:34   before it makes it easy to go back and [TS]

00:19:35   get the stuff you want again they have [TS]

00:19:36   so much great stuff they have [TS]

00:19:37   comfortable socks underwear shirts [TS]

00:19:40   undershirts hoodies and sweatpants so [TS]

00:19:42   much great stuff [TS]

00:19:43   I am a [TS]

00:19:44   huge fan of their pima cotton long [TS]

00:19:46   sleeve tee I am wearing one of them [TS]

00:19:48   right this second is the green one it's [TS]

00:19:50   very attractive I just love their [TS]

00:19:51   undershirts they're just beautiful white [TS]

00:19:53   long-tailed much like the Chris Anderson [TS]

00:19:55   article Google long tail on the shirts [TS]

00:19:57   that will stay tucked in there the best [TS]

00:19:58   it's like wonderful aircraft engineering [TS]

00:20:00   to the best maybe they're best known for [TS]

00:20:02   their underwear they've line of silver [TS]

00:20:04   underwear and shirts that are naturally [TS]

00:20:06   microbial so they eliminate odor listen [TS]

00:20:08   Mac one wants you to be comfortable so [TS]

00:20:10   if you don't like your first pair of [TS]

00:20:11   Underpants you can keep them you know [TS]

00:20:13   what they'll still refund you no [TS]

00:20:14   questions asked how about that not only [TS]

00:20:16   does Mac Waltons underwear socks and [TS]

00:20:18   shirt not only look good they perform [TS]

00:20:19   well too [TS]

00:20:20   they're good for working out going to [TS]

00:20:22   work going on dates or just everyday [TS]

00:20:23   life just the best honestly for reals [TS]

00:20:25   this is it this is a great sponsor and a [TS]

00:20:27   very good company they make very very [TS]

00:20:29   good stuff and I can personally give [TS]

00:20:31   them my okey-dokey and official [TS]

00:20:32   recommendation so go right now you go to [TS]

00:20:34   Mac Weldon calm and remember for 20% off [TS]

00:20:37   your order use that very special offer [TS]

00:20:38   code are OTL are thanks to Mac Weldon [TS]

00:20:41   for supporting Roderick on the line and [TS]

00:20:43   all the great shows I typically as you [TS]

00:20:51   know try and go through this you know [TS]

00:20:56   life on this on this big bloop Big Blue [TS]

00:20:59   Marble in space by relying on as few [TS]

00:21:05   things as I can right I don't try and I [TS]

00:21:08   try not to rely on technology I try not [TS]

00:21:10   to rely on comfort you talked about this [TS]

00:21:13   a great deal in the past it feels like a [TS]

00:21:14   lot of it a lot of it comes down to like [TS]

00:21:16   your will and wanting to make sure that [TS]

00:21:18   you can get by but you said rather [TS]

00:21:20   candidly that you want to limit the [TS]

00:21:21   number of things that might go away [TS]

00:21:23   after an apocalypse and you'd have no [TS]

00:21:24   way to get it back now what not now you [TS]

00:21:26   know you're hooked on jaw surgery for [TS]

00:21:27   the rest of your life a buck is to trade [TS]

00:21:32   for that I mean I there are I'm sure all [TS]

00:21:35   kinds of benefits that attend someone [TS]

00:21:39   who attaches themselves like attach [TS]

00:21:43   themselves to hoses and eels like John [TS]

00:21:46   Travolta in know in spaceship earth oh [TS]

00:21:51   okay we're like the guy from Dillon [TS]

00:21:55   Channing that movie where he's a pod boy [TS]

00:21:56   we've got [TS]

00:21:57   houses in him he's got the neck thing [TS]

00:21:59   yeah big guy with the hoses in the neck [TS]

00:22:01   face hoses the neck thing I needs a [TS]

00:22:02   battery for a robot planet until they [TS]

00:22:04   figure out all this is the matrix red [TS]

00:22:06   pill red pill red pill mental if you [TS]

00:22:08   want if you want a battery pack for a [TS]

00:22:10   robot planet I'm sure you get a lot of [TS]

00:22:13   good stuff I know the surgery is gonna [TS]

00:22:14   be good free land put this thing in the [TS]

00:22:15   back of your neck it's gonna be really [TS]

00:22:16   it's a yeah right like just put your [TS]

00:22:19   credit card information in just you know [TS]

00:22:21   like scan your iris the free try and [TS]

00:22:24   then when you drive around town every [TS]

00:22:26   time you get a ticket for running or a [TS]

00:22:28   yellow light it take it'll go right to [TS]

00:22:30   your bank account you don't even have to [TS]

00:22:31   think about it that's right we'll just [TS]

00:22:33   capture all the data yeah so good for [TS]

00:22:36   you isn't that convenient [TS]

00:22:39   but I tried to like limit the number of [TS]

00:22:42   those particularly the ones where the [TS]

00:22:44   the ones that people do voluntarily [TS]

00:22:46   without thinking about it like I've got [TS]

00:22:48   it I've got a conditioner that works [TS]

00:22:51   with my hair and it costs whatever cost [TS]

00:22:54   seventy dollars but if I don't have my [TS]

00:22:56   conditioner than my hair just doesn't [TS]

00:23:00   let's let's tear the veil away a lot of [TS]

00:23:03   people shampoo and condition way too [TS]

00:23:05   much whoa oh yeah yes they do if you I [TS]

00:23:09   don't want to take you off your story [TS]

00:23:10   but I'm here to tell you if you get off [TS]

00:23:11   that particular merry-go-round you'll [TS]

00:23:13   discover that you can mostly wash your [TS]

00:23:15   hair about once a week and you'll do way [TS]

00:23:16   better because you know what it is it's [TS]

00:23:18   like Carmex for your head you're you're [TS]

00:23:20   drawing out all the things that your [TS]

00:23:21   head would do naturally and now you're [TS]

00:23:23   addicted you're addicted to Neutrogena [TS]

00:23:24   yeah don't put Carmex on your head tap [TS]

00:23:27   with carbon technology no no the thing [TS]

00:23:32   is now you know now you're just a slide [TS]

00:23:34   in slide show you're top of mind for him [TS]

00:23:56   your healthcare is top of mind for the [TS]

00:23:58   German driving dentist yeah he's just [TS]

00:24:00   he's just knock him down he can see [TS]

00:24:04   those fighter planes mm-hmm but so I try [TS]

00:24:08   to limit that stuff but the problem is [TS]

00:24:10   at a certain point [TS]

00:24:11   right here I am I'm sitting I'm I'm a [TS]

00:24:13   man in his forties and I have a missing [TS]

00:24:15   tooth today and there is a better [TS]

00:24:18   solution there is a better solution and [TS]

00:24:23   that solution is to get something [TS]

00:24:25   slightly more permanent yeah now I have [TS]

00:24:29   I was putting my little pills in my [TS]

00:24:30   little pill box today mm-hmm [TS]

00:24:33   because once I started taking my pill [TS]

00:24:36   for my bipolar and I discovered that it [TS]

00:24:41   worked for me and it was a medication [TS]

00:24:42   that I actually endorsed then then [TS]

00:24:46   another doctor who had been saying to me [TS]

00:24:48   for a long time you have high blood [TS]

00:24:51   pressure you have hypertension is what [TS]

00:24:53   they say and I was like yeah yeah yeah [TS]

00:24:56   just the same as I had said about [TS]

00:24:57   everything that every time surprise [TS]

00:24:59   surprise another doctor who has a [TS]

00:25:01   diagnosis about what's wrong with me and [TS]

00:25:10   so I was like all right what's the story [TS]

00:25:13   you know now I'm taking this one [TS]

00:25:14   medication what's the story with this [TS]

00:25:16   high blood pressure and he and the dad [TS]

00:25:17   know then I switched it all over to the [TS]

00:25:20   lady doctor that had yelled at me about [TS]

00:25:21   bipolar and I was like you're my new [TS]

00:25:23   doctor I want you to tell me I want you [TS]

00:25:25   to yell me about everything because [TS]

00:25:26   you're good at it she passed muster [TS]

00:25:27   right she did and she said to me I don't [TS]

00:25:30   think I yelled at you before I think you [TS]

00:25:32   I think your story has become inflated [TS]

00:25:34   Sheila's a nice oh yeah okay and I said [TS]

00:25:38   you absolutely did I I marked it down in [TS]

00:25:42   my book of quotations in your mind [TS]

00:25:44   Palace and she was like I don't know [TS]

00:25:46   that doesn't sound like me and I was [TS]

00:25:47   like it sounds exactly like you listen [TS]

00:25:49   to you now into her analysis of how [TS]

00:25:55   things are going like if anything else [TS]

00:25:57   needs to be put into your tiny pill box [TS]

00:25:59   yeah you have hypertension you need to [TS]

00:26:01   take this pill so I took it it was just [TS]

00:26:03   a you know it's just a diary you got a [TS]

00:26:05   diuretic it's just like drinking coffee [TS]

00:26:07   okay and she was like yeah okay it's [TS]

00:26:14   doing okay but now you need to take a [TS]

00:26:15   second one because a lot of times we [TS]

00:26:17   don't get it on the first pass you need [TS]

00:26:19   to take two I was like okay you know [TS]

00:26:21   what you're you're a doctor lady you're [TS]

00:26:24   thrown pills at me that's [TS]

00:26:25   you know I'm not fighting you anymore so [TS]

00:26:28   now I got those two that I put into so [TS]

00:26:31   then I was like well shit now I need a [TS]

00:26:33   pillbox um what about ya [TS]

00:26:34   and I went and I looked because I wanted [TS]

00:26:37   a cool pillbox old lady pillboxes and [TS]

00:26:46   having embroidery on it you install or [TS]

00:26:49   something fucking steampunk you know [TS]

00:26:51   what the big type on it that's like [TS]

00:26:52   Monday morning Monday afternoon I'm not [TS]

00:26:55   one of those I wanted something cool and [TS]

00:26:59   every day in my freaking Instagram feed [TS]

00:27:01   some ad pops up for something that's [TS]

00:27:04   like dude well and it's a but you know [TS]

00:27:06   like order a box and it's got a knife [TS]

00:27:08   and a hatchet and mustache wax and like [TS]

00:27:12   you know like all this crap that nobody [TS]

00:27:14   needs that's like sandalwood Kipple box [TS]

00:27:19   they send you stuff you don't need you [TS]

00:27:21   subscribe to that you get another eel [TS]

00:27:22   now you're getting a free bar well not [TS]

00:27:24   free you're getting a subsidized box of [TS]

00:27:26   shit every month yeah it's leather Kerry [TS]

00:27:30   John asked Yulin sometimes yeah it's for [TS]

00:27:33   daily care everybody carries that what [TS]

00:27:35   they call it yeah well there is some [TS]

00:27:37   there's there's aspects of everyday [TS]

00:27:39   carry but if something's coming every [TS]

00:27:40   month that means you're presumably [TS]

00:27:42   changing your everyday carrier don't [TS]

00:27:44   give you a bandolier one give you a [TS]

00:27:46   Chewbacca belt yeah and I feel like your [TS]

00:27:48   everyday carry people your you know yeah [TS]

00:27:51   the ones that are real scientific about [TS]

00:27:52   it they don't want a new thing every [TS]

00:27:53   month they want to hone it down to like [TS]

00:27:56   the fishing line that can also be used [TS]

00:27:58   as a garrote you can also be used as [TS]

00:28:00   like like a radio for finding freshwater [TS]

00:28:02   yeah you do is you do a Gorka you get [TS]

00:28:05   maybe a couple pistols a knife and a [TS]

00:28:07   tourniquet yeah and a divining and a [TS]

00:28:09   divining or defining a wire that you [TS]

00:28:10   could also use for a curette a divining [TS]

00:28:12   rod wire right you can use to escape to [TS]

00:28:15   see you know if you throw it you could [TS]

00:28:18   bind an adversary find an adversary [TS]

00:28:20   there it is [TS]

00:28:21   every day yeah you want to have one I [TS]

00:28:23   have a knife which is also a hatchet but [TS]

00:28:24   which is also something that you can [TS]

00:28:26   hook up onto a roof and that knife rely [TS]

00:28:31   on fucking Bluetooth no it doesn't it [TS]

00:28:34   does not no no no no you have an [TS]

00:28:37   untethered hatchet [TS]

00:28:38   that's right but I'm looking at these [TS]

00:28:41   things and I'm saying all right where's [TS]

00:28:42   the you know like where's the bespoke [TS]

00:28:44   pill box yeah that's what I want right [TS]

00:28:47   now I want a pill box here's what I want [TS]

00:28:50   [Music] [TS]

00:28:53   I want two weeks worth of little doors [TS]

00:28:57   so that's fourteen of them fourteen [TS]

00:29:00   little submarine torpedo tube doors [TS]

00:29:02   Monday to Sunday Monday to Sunday Monday [TS]

00:29:04   to Sunday that's sitting up you know [TS]

00:29:06   it's not torpedo tubes it's like an ICBM [TS]

00:29:08   it's like a like a missile submarine [TS]

00:29:10   okay they're 14 doors on the top okay [TS]

00:29:12   each one each one's got a missile in it [TS]

00:29:15   okay I want it to be small enough to [TS]

00:29:19   throw in a bag when not notice it I want [TS]

00:29:22   it to be and so I wanted to have kind of [TS]

00:29:23   round edges I don't want it like too [TS]

00:29:26   square [TS]

00:29:26   okay I want the doors to help me [TS]

00:29:29   disabuse me here part of it is you're [TS]

00:29:31   trying to avoid the stuff that you see [TS]

00:29:34   near the magnifying glasses at Walgreens [TS]

00:29:37   I don't want it to be like a rainbow [TS]

00:29:38   colored plastic okay I want it to be [TS]

00:29:41   something cool that's the individual [TS]

00:29:42   right that belongs to me [TS]

00:29:44   and I and so I've been out looking at [TS]

00:29:46   it's like old apothecary things an old [TS]

00:29:49   drugstore stuff and like you know [TS]

00:29:51   searching all the weird bins for to [TS]

00:29:54   repurpose a thing that has 14 doors [TS]

00:29:57   because that's my favorite very creative [TS]

00:30:00   way to approach it the 14 doors yes [TS]

00:30:03   that's what I'm trying to that's what [TS]

00:30:04   I'm trying to accomplish and I wouldn't [TS]

00:30:05   mind if it was silver mm-hmm and had a [TS]

00:30:08   little blast that's the top return I am [TS]

00:30:10   getting when I search for a cool pill [TS]

00:30:12   case or a box yep I'm seeing a nice [TS]

00:30:15   looking silver one I'm seeing a lot that [TS]

00:30:16   look like fruit one that's got a Cthulhu [TS]

00:30:18   on it yeah I don't want that okay but I [TS]

00:30:21   want to be able to see into the little [TS]

00:30:22   containers because you want to know [TS]

00:30:24   which ones are full and which ones are [TS]

00:30:25   empty you forget what day it is that's [TS]

00:30:27   right which happens to me every single [TS]

00:30:29   day but I want it to be you know I want [TS]

00:30:32   the when the doors are closed I want [TS]

00:30:34   them to stay closed when the doors are [TS]

00:30:35   open I want them to stay open mm-hmm so [TS]

00:30:37   I want this and I'm searching everywhere [TS]

00:30:39   and nobody's making artisanal pill cases [TS]

00:30:43   because I guess the artisanal people are [TS]

00:30:45   all 38 and they're not they're not [TS]

00:30:47   taking 15 pills and their knees don't [TS]

00:30:49   hurt anyway then so I had these I had [TS]

00:30:52   three pills going on and then I was like [TS]

00:30:54   well I live in Seattle in the wintertime [TS]

00:30:56   I get a better throw some vitamin D in [TS]

00:30:58   there since I'm taking pills anyway [TS]

00:30:59   you could probably do us in b12 too well [TS]

00:31:02   then I put a put a big bee bee in there [TS]

00:31:04   except I try and get B in there I feel [TS]

00:31:07   like I should take a bee I've heard that [TS]

00:31:09   bees are good for people like me you [TS]

00:31:11   know back in the day before I was taking [TS]

00:31:13   all these pills I would throw out [TS]

00:31:15   sometimes to buy a bottle of B and take [TS]

00:31:17   it and I it it worked it made me feel [TS]

00:31:20   better [TS]

00:31:20   okay huh how's your mood right yeah yeah [TS]

00:31:24   yeah it does and then uh and then about [TS]

00:31:28   a year ago a year and a half ago [TS]

00:31:30   millennium girlfriend started taking [TS]

00:31:34   Elysium Elysium [TS]

00:31:36   now come on that sounds like a science [TS]

00:31:38   fiction thing you remember Elysium [TS]

00:31:42   Elysium believe you should I asked my [TS]

00:31:44   doctor if Elysium is right for me I [TS]

00:31:46   don't think you should talk to your dog [TS]

00:31:48   is it a new puppet the thing is that the [TS]

00:31:50   more people know about Elysium unless [TS]

00:31:52   there is for us well I think that's [TS]

00:31:54   right because Elysium leas iam will [TS]

00:31:56   allow you to live forever oh yeah [TS]

00:32:00   because it binds to your neuro toxins [TS]

00:32:02   and it takes your health of ease and it [TS]

00:32:04   turns him into alpha C's analyses are [TS]

00:32:07   what you need [TS]

00:32:07   alpha C's are what plants crave it comes [TS]

00:32:11   down to the alphas you gotta switch your [TS]

00:32:13   office sure and that and what happens is [TS]

00:32:15   if you get in there and get your beta [TS]

00:32:17   blockers that will like anti oxidize [TS]

00:32:20   your your you know your neural net [TS]

00:32:25   cancerboys well and what it does is it [TS]

00:32:28   takes your block chain breaks me see it [TS]

00:32:30   breaks the RNA okay and converts it into [TS]

00:32:33   RNP it changes the dispensation to [TS]

00:32:37   ladder chain exactly okay I'm funny here [TS]

00:32:40   Elysium health live healthier for longer [TS]

00:32:42   with science that's right and Elysium so [TS]

00:32:45   Elysium was this miracle pill that came [TS]

00:32:47   out that was and part of their [TS]

00:32:50   stratagems mmm [TS]

00:32:53   word that they had all these scientists [TS]

00:32:55   they got all these Nobel scientists to [TS]

00:32:57   send a lot of white guys and ties and [TS]

00:32:59   you were like will you endorse this will [TS]

00:33:00   you endorse this and all the scientists [TS]

00:33:02   were like yeah sure sure [TS]

00:33:04   sounds like good science [TS]

00:33:06   and they were there a bunch of guy a [TS]

00:33:07   bunch of these scientists on their board [TS]

00:33:08   of directors they actually put them on [TS]

00:33:10   the board no these guys look like [TS]

00:33:11   potatoes with eyeglasses so when they [TS]

00:33:14   land they all won the Fields Medal and [TS]

00:33:15   and that's why they're so mad at Matt [TS]

00:33:19   Damon that's because he won't just to [TS]

00:33:22   the mansion oh no he won't do the math [TS]

00:33:24   because they won the Fields Medal for [TS]

00:33:27   crying out loud okay [TS]

00:33:30   so okay this stuff this Elysium [TS]

00:33:34   I'm losing track a little bit here so [TS]

00:33:36   you got you've got your you've got your [TS]

00:33:38   brain pill your lady doctor gave you [TS]

00:33:39   yeah you've got a blood pressure pill - [TS]

00:33:44   blood pressure field - so up to three [TS]

00:33:46   pills one of them is a little a little [TS]

00:33:49   pink pill and one of them is a little [TS]

00:33:50   very strange little mustard colored pill [TS]

00:33:53   okay [TS]

00:33:54   oh they're different kinds you're on a [TS]

00:33:56   cocktail yep yep drink no so there's [TS]

00:34:00   three there's three pills and I threw a [TS]

00:34:02   D in there and then I threw a B in there [TS]

00:34:03   okay all right thrown the D I threw the [TS]

00:34:06   d3 I threw in Deez Nuts once anyway so [TS]

00:34:18   then I'm then I'm hearing this elysium [TS]

00:34:20   talk around them you know that this is [TS]

00:34:22   the this is the pillow talk that I had a [TS]

00:34:23   certain point this is what we're talking [TS]

00:34:25   about around the breakfast case we're [TS]

00:34:26   talking hanging out with Generation snap [TS]

00:34:27   yeah Elysium yeah they're buying glasses [TS]

00:34:30   from from vending machines yep that's [TS]

00:34:32   right get a knife from the Elysium [TS]

00:34:34   Elysium is one of these things where you [TS]

00:34:36   it's like a it's like a every pill costs [TS]

00:34:39   a dollar or every pill cost two dollars [TS]

00:34:40   or something like that but what price [TS]

00:34:42   for life yeah what price Merlin no no [TS]

00:34:46   there's how do you put a price on [TS]

00:34:47   eternity how many extra Saturdays do you [TS]

00:34:50   want while your daughter still likes all [TS]

00:34:52   I mean the roughest the problem is [TS]

00:34:53   that's a finite number they might be a [TS]

00:34:55   pill to reboot her at some point I'm [TS]

00:34:56   hoping I think what happens is you get a [TS]

00:34:58   bunch of Saturdays after she stops [TS]

00:35:00   liking you yeah that's where the that's [TS]

00:35:02   where the extra Saturdays come and [TS]

00:35:04   that's not necessarily where you want [TS]

00:35:05   them okay no okay you want getting [TS]

00:35:07   front-loaded okay so at this point [TS]

00:35:08   you're up - well now wait a minute so I [TS]

00:35:10   wasn't entirely on board with the [TS]

00:35:12   Elysium okay but I mean you worked we're [TS]

00:35:14   up to three or four five ish by five [TS]

00:35:17   arrests five pills okay [TS]

00:35:19   oh okay so before the Elysium my mom [TS]

00:35:23   came to me and said I'm taking these [TS]

00:35:25   pills which are good for your joints is [TS]

00:35:29   it closed min chondroitin yes and I said [TS]

00:35:33   what evidence do you have these are good [TS]

00:35:36   for the joint [TS]

00:35:36   I think dr. Oz likes it and she said [TS]

00:35:39   there is no evidence that it's good for [TS]

00:35:41   the joints but I take them on faith huh [TS]

00:35:44   okay because it's made out of them these [TS]

00:35:47   pills are made out of the collagen that [TS]

00:35:49   we use in the joints in the joints so if [TS]

00:35:52   you had more of it anywhere to go is it [TS]

00:35:55   like repairing the ladder DNA it knows [TS]

00:35:57   where to go it seeks out the joint areas [TS]

00:35:59   and then replenishes none like some kind [TS]

00:36:00   of a supply mission this is what we [TS]

00:36:02   don't know but if you give your body [TS]

00:36:04   more of this stuff it can hurt I mean [TS]

00:36:06   what's it gonna do it's what you pee it [TS]

00:36:09   away it's like a vitamin C for your [TS]

00:36:10   joints you know or the little dudes and [TS]

00:36:12   hardhats that live inside your body that [TS]

00:36:14   move like eyebeams around okay are gonna [TS]

00:36:16   be like we got some more that's right [TS]

00:36:20   exactly was a little sergeant-major [TS]

00:36:22   that's like put that in there cuz I got [TS]

00:36:30   this bum knees that I got when I jumped [TS]

00:36:33   off the Billy out the outfield wall at [TS]

00:36:35   RFK Stadium during a Grateful Dead [TS]

00:36:36   concert in 1990 oh and this is unrelated [TS]

00:36:39   so when you fell off that piece of [TS]

00:36:40   equipment at the dump it's a completely [TS]

00:36:42   unrelated this is a bad knee that goes [TS]

00:36:44   all the way back to 1990 okay it's [TS]

00:36:46   basically Jerry Garcia's seog bad knee [TS]

00:36:48   yep that's right and so why not because [TS]

00:36:51   when I go to the doctor about the bad [TS]

00:36:52   knee and I'm like eyelet knee is kind of [TS]

00:36:54   killing me the doctor says you don't [TS]

00:36:56   want to do a knee surgery until you have [TS]

00:36:57   to like oh so what you're saying is I [TS]

00:37:00   wrap an ace bandage around it and I [TS]

00:37:01   pretend everything's fine taut and the [TS]

00:37:03   doctor says wrap an ace bandage around [TS]

00:37:05   it you don't have to pretend it's fine [TS]

00:37:06   [Laughter] [TS]

00:37:14   maybe you pee him out maybe you don't [TS]

00:37:16   but what you know what do you want to do [TS]

00:37:18   is it's a dollar a day how many [TS]

00:37:19   Saturdays do you want right right anyway [TS]

00:37:22   so I look up I look at this amazing [TS]

00:37:23   house I could get turned against you Oh [TS]

00:37:25   everything gets turned against you yeah [TS]

00:37:27   that's how they get you that's how they [TS]

00:37:31   so the man who if memory serves I [TS]

00:37:34   brought you theraflu one time and you [TS]

00:37:36   didn't want to take you or deathly [TS]

00:37:37   deathly ill you had to show a great [TS]

00:37:38   American you were very very sick I think [TS]

00:37:40   I brought you some ephedrine and a [TS]

00:37:42   theraflu and you didn't want either one [TS]

00:37:44   because you doesn't like to put that [TS]

00:37:45   stuff in your body well what happens [TS]

00:37:47   with the theraflu hmm back in 1991 when [TS]

00:37:54   I knew a lot of junkies I knew more [TS]

00:37:57   junkies in 1991 than I know now sir it [TS]

00:38:03   was I know I I think that that might [TS]

00:38:06   have been peak junkie although I the [TS]

00:38:10   thing is now I know Seattle I think in [TS]

00:38:12   West Virginia they're doing pretty good [TS]

00:38:13   right now [TS]

00:38:14   well that's right it's all flipped [TS]

00:38:16   around yeah back then being a junkie was [TS]

00:38:19   the thing that you did if you were now [TS]

00:38:25   it's just if you're living in if you're [TS]

00:38:27   living in West Virginia and you're [TS]

00:38:28   working on cars we got to talk about [TS]

00:38:30   that someday that is so fucked up it's [TS]

00:38:32   really terrible every time I read about [TS]

00:38:33   I'm more completely freaked out it's a [TS]

00:38:35   crime against humanity it's sickening [TS]

00:38:37   that you don't think about when you [TS]

00:38:39   think about the CIA and the government [TS]

00:38:41   intervening in populations you think [TS]

00:38:44   about them putting aids into the gay [TS]

00:38:46   community or you think yeah right yeah [TS]

00:38:49   you do not think about are you it isn't [TS]

00:38:52   typically thought of as a concern as [TS]

00:38:54   they concede you one paragraph I [TS]

00:38:56   screenshot yesterday did have the heart [TS]

00:38:57   to post it but this is I think I want to [TS]

00:38:58   say from Washington Post article I [TS]

00:39:00   forget this one paragraph that just had [TS]

00:39:02   me back on my heels the epidemic has [TS]

00:39:04   also made some pharmaceutical companies [TS]

00:39:05   very rich no a real barrier to getting [TS]

00:39:08   the industry to buy into change okay [TS]

00:39:09   hang on sales of prescription opioids [TS]

00:39:12   almost quadrupled between 1999 and 2014 [TS]

00:39:17   you know Forex in 15 years as the number [TS]

00:39:20   of prescriptions soared [TS]

00:39:21   by 2010 there were more than eight [TS]

00:39:24   opioid prescriptions for every ten [TS]

00:39:26   people for Purdue Pharma the makers of [TS]

00:39:29   oxycontin have sold more than 25 [TS]

00:39:31   buh-buh-buh billion dollars worth of the [TS]

00:39:33   drug in the past decade hmm Jesus Christ [TS]

00:39:37   so you're not on that right now as far [TS]

00:39:39   as you know if you gave if you backed up [TS]

00:39:43   the oxycontin truck [TS]

00:39:45   and you poured that stuff in you know [TS]

00:39:47   and you gave me as much as I could take [TS]

00:39:48   yeah I would a take zero but if you gave [TS]

00:39:52   me if you forced me to have it in my [TS]

00:39:53   house I would take it out I'd dump it in [TS]

00:39:55   the pool and little office and let the [TS]

00:39:57   worms figure it out somewhere downstream [TS]

00:40:02   some fish in Lake Washington like whoa [TS]

00:40:05   start chasing the dragon I don't want it [TS]

00:40:08   I don't want it around yeah you ever not [TS]

00:40:10   - yeah and and the thing is then the [TS]

00:40:12   junkies that I knew back in the 90s were [TS]

00:40:14   like shooting shooting up that was how [TS]

00:40:17   you were a junkie been like needle based [TS]

00:40:19   heroin the whole thing you cook it there [TS]

00:40:21   in your spoon you do that you do the do [TS]

00:40:22   you and then if you're lucky you don't [TS]

00:40:25   die sitting on a toilet at the that's [TS]

00:40:28   the you know the Cafe Roma and make the [TS]

00:40:30   employees try and force the door open [TS]

00:40:33   and then call the ambulance and then the [TS]

00:40:34   cafes that sucks [TS]

00:40:36   well they don't make them it's just like [TS]

00:40:37   who the hell you know it's the employee [TS]

00:40:39   that's like knock knock knock are you [TS]

00:40:40   done in there hello managers in back [TS]

00:40:42   shooting up he's got other people into [TS]

00:40:43   the toilet exactly okay now now what I [TS]

00:40:46   know I do know a lot of junkies now but [TS]

00:40:48   they're all these maintenance junkies [TS]

00:40:49   where they're like I'm not a junkie I [TS]

00:40:51   just have to take these pills for [TS]

00:40:52   anxiety and pain yeah it's like ah fuck [TS]

00:40:54   your 48 years old and you're fucking [TS]

00:40:57   strung out yeah tell it to the robot [TS]

00:40:58   apocalypse I mean you want to talk about [TS]

00:41:00   an eel yeah no shit the ultra eel I [TS]

00:41:03   struggle with it I struggle with it yeah [TS]

00:41:05   I don't want to be back on it so hard [TS]

00:41:07   that I think about the apocalypse [TS]

00:41:08   everybody wants it you know it's not you [TS]

00:41:11   know it's hard it's not that it's easy [TS]

00:41:13   to not do it yeah it's fucking awful and [TS]

00:41:17   then you know plus or minus five pills [TS]

00:41:21   well the thing is the reason I don't [TS]

00:41:22   take theraflu is that the junkies back [TS]

00:41:24   in 1991 used to huddle around their [TS]

00:41:27   little fucking Bic lighter fire and say [TS]

00:41:30   to each other [TS]

00:41:32   the secret junkie language that I that I [TS]

00:41:36   learned epidemic they would say when you [TS]

00:41:52   can't get junk and you're starting to [TS]

00:41:54   like get the bads you're starting to get [TS]

00:41:57   some pts there [TS]

00:41:59   flew theraflu if you take theraflu it [TS]

00:42:02   takes the edge off yeah [TS]

00:42:03   you drink there you shoot it no you [TS]

00:42:05   don't shoot it my god I could see people [TS]

00:42:12   suffering people love snorting things [TS]

00:42:14   yeah I think it would drink you drink it [TS]

00:42:17   bye bye quelling the flu : food like [TS]

00:42:19   symptoms [TS]

00:42:20   it takes down your heebie-jeebie bats [TS]

00:42:22   that's right it's called it it's that [TS]

00:42:24   that should have been that should have [TS]

00:42:26   been there other what when there's sound [TS]

00:42:28   it's like label usage yeah you want you [TS]

00:42:32   want to say their slogan should have [TS]

00:42:33   been theraflu takes the edge off and so [TS]

00:42:36   I started to think in the early 90s that [TS]

00:42:38   theraflu was powerful medicine because [TS]

00:42:41   if it is helping that if it's helping [TS]

00:42:43   those creepy crawlies yeah if it's [TS]

00:42:46   helping the feeling that like flies are [TS]

00:42:49   burrowing in your arms then it's [TS]

00:42:51   probably stronger than I need one I've [TS]

00:42:53   got a cold so I typically only employ [TS]

00:42:57   theraflu when it's like alright I don't [TS]

00:42:59   even give a shit anymore if I ended up [TS]

00:43:00   on oxycontin because of this whatever [TS]

00:43:02   fine drug I'm so freakin sick right now [TS]

00:43:06   I don't care anyway so I'm up five pills [TS]

00:43:09   okay [TS]

00:43:10   but then the Elysium thing feels like [TS]

00:43:13   it's just got it's just they spent a lot [TS]

00:43:16   of money on the logo and the label there [TS]

00:43:18   it seems like a executive drug if you [TS]

00:43:22   know what I'm saying oh yeah that's what [TS]

00:43:24   they call know it tropics where these [TS]

00:43:26   whole class of Unicom drugs it could be [TS]

00:43:29   herbs it could be some kind of all these [TS]

00:43:30   things that have very little to zero [TS]

00:43:34   FDA evidence of everything and that goes [TS]

00:43:37   back to like the st. John's wort the [TS]

00:43:39   ginseng like all of these things that [TS]

00:43:41   have this rap for doing a certain thing [TS]

00:43:42   you got all the where they call the [TS]

00:43:44   homoerotic so what are the ones that [TS]

00:43:45   don't do anything like the asila cockney [TS]

00:43:47   what are you ready call as homeopathic [TS]

00:43:48   well you know you P go to Germany and [TS]

00:43:51   you tell those people that they don't do [TS]

00:43:52   anything they're gonna get real mad at [TS]

00:43:54   you you know there's a big lawsuit over [TS]

00:43:56   st. John's wort there wasn't there [TS]

00:43:57   didn't they then they crack it down the [TS]

00:43:59   thing about the Germans and you know we [TS]

00:44:01   don't know well you know they're hard on [TS]

00:44:04   Scientology so well and that's the thing [TS]

00:44:06   like if you're if you are mad about [TS]

00:44:07   Scientology not not being a real [TS]

00:44:10   religion yeah but you [TS]

00:44:12   that the that the cure for an allergic [TS]

00:44:14   reaction is to give you a micro dose of [TS]

00:44:16   fucking you know collagen fly wings I [TS]

00:44:21   feel like you got it you got it easy too [TS]

00:44:24   much to do the real homeopathy the [TS]

00:44:26   smaller the doses the more effective it [TS]

00:44:28   is [TS]

00:44:28   you have pseudoscience I you know they [TS]

00:44:35   don't let you take they don't they don't [TS]

00:44:36   let you take f adran now for where your [TS]

00:44:40   bad nose sniffles in Germany because [TS]

00:44:42   they think it's a controlled substance [TS]

00:44:43   but they give you some you know they [TS]

00:44:45   give you some tincture of like monkey [TS]

00:44:47   sweat yeah and they think like oh this [TS]

00:44:49   is the real this is the real cure you [TS]

00:44:51   got to get with the program Germans [TS]

00:44:53   invented aspirin you know they pioneered [TS]

00:44:54   most of the drugs that we use now a day [TS]

00:44:55   over then in the Germany at first I [TS]

00:44:57   thought you said germs invented aspirin [TS]

00:45:00   and I was wrong this is a new theory I [TS]

00:45:01   had not heard no no I don't believe in [TS]

00:45:03   germ theory okay so you're up to five [TS]

00:45:04   you got 70 pills a week and you're [TS]

00:45:06   saying yeah you Elysium are you hearing [TS]

00:45:08   the so let me you're back with [TS]

00:45:09   millennium girlfriend back in the day [TS]

00:45:11   and were you persuaded to give Elysium a [TS]

00:45:15   throw so like with my mom's magic [TS]

00:45:18   collagen pill I went and did some [TS]

00:45:20   separate research and the research [TS]

00:45:23   around and the collagen pill has on the [TS]

00:45:26   label like this is not we are not at all [TS]

00:45:29   saying that this does anything but you [TS]

00:45:31   know but if as long as we have said that [TS]

00:45:34   we're also gonna say this is amazing [TS]

00:45:36   and with Elysium it was a thing where [TS]

00:45:41   they had this substance which was called [TS]

00:45:44   n ad plus 90 plus NID NAD+ which is [TS]

00:45:50   nicotinamide something something [TS]

00:45:52   something nicotinamide something [TS]

00:45:55   something something plus plus and [TS]

00:45:58   nicotinamide is pretty easy and cheap to [TS]

00:46:01   get but if you combine it with some [TS]

00:46:05   other things an A and a D there's some [TS]

00:46:08   kind of die mix it against any nicotine [TS]

00:46:13   in my diet you get this this stuff and [TS]

00:46:19   then you had a plus on the end [TS]

00:46:21   and it turned out this is the amazing [TS]

00:46:24   thing about the story it turned out that [TS]

00:46:25   there's only one company in the country [TS]

00:46:28   that makes NAD+ and Elysium gets their [TS]

00:46:34   NAD+ from this same company that [TS]

00:46:36   everybody else does because there's only [TS]

00:46:39   one company that makes it oh they're [TS]

00:46:40   just white labeling something that's [TS]

00:46:42   almost a commodity yeah Elysium [TS]

00:46:46   commercial bespoke formula No [TS]

00:46:48   okay no they just discovered Elysium [TS]

00:46:50   'he's discovered that it did this other [TS]

00:46:52   amazing stuff those all the 50 nobel [TS]

00:46:55   scientists all were the ones that were [TS]

00:46:56   like [TS]

00:46:57   and i think they combined it with a [TS]

00:46:59   separate a second ingredient so so it's [TS]

00:47:02   not just nad plus its nad plus plus [TS]

00:47:07   that's the plus it's some kind of plus [TS]

00:47:10   it's the other plus it's the reason that [TS]

00:47:12   japanese-made i've been as tube [TS]

00:47:14   screamers sound better than [TS]

00:47:15   american-made i beneath korean-made i [TS]

00:47:18   because because the plus plus okay [TS]

00:47:21   hippie to a second ingredient that's [TS]

00:47:23   right it has a diode [TS]

00:47:25   okay that's second diode there's light [TS]

00:47:27   emitting so I said well if the active [TS]

00:47:31   ingredient in Elysium is nad plus why [TS]

00:47:34   don't I just get my nad plus from the [TS]

00:47:36   bulk supplier and the answer to that you [TS]

00:47:41   know the pillow-talk answer was well [TS]

00:47:43   Elysium is something else and basically [TS]

00:47:45   like don't fight city hall it's got all [TS]

00:47:48   these it's got all these scientists the [TS]

00:47:53   design of this jar it's it's very very [TS]

00:47:55   modern sure you put that on your counter [TS]

00:47:57   and people say why did I go up with like [TS]

00:48:00   a Whole Foods plastic bag full of powder [TS]

00:48:03   is cool what's it called basis by [TS]

00:48:07   elysium have that sit on your desk or [TS]

00:48:09   sorry I can't raise Hotelling desk or [TS]

00:48:11   your standing desk or your units like [TS]

00:48:14   it's sitting on your desk right next to [TS]

00:48:17   your like five five steel ball clacker [TS]

00:48:22   [Laughter] [TS]

00:48:32   you have nap cubes go take a nap in I [TS]

00:48:36   actually asked a person who had nap [TS]

00:48:38   cubes in their office does anybody ever [TS]

00:48:39   go and take a nap in there and they're [TS]

00:48:41   like what no you would be definitely I'm [TS]

00:48:44   looked at askance if you went in there [TS]

00:48:46   and took a nap [TS]

00:48:47   yeah trap a lobster trap they're gonna [TS]

00:48:52   see which kind of who the dopes that [TS]

00:48:54   grab a beer out of the copiously stocked [TS]

00:48:57   a fridge and who the people who actually [TS]

00:48:59   use the NAP cube we told you to please [TS]

00:49:01   use yeah that's right if I worked in an [TS]

00:49:03   office I would use that NAP cube twice a [TS]

00:49:06   day and the person I was talking to is [TS]

00:49:08   like you would be fired it's like it's [TS]

00:49:10   right there it says nap cube on it right [TS]

00:49:13   and and they were like oh you doesn't [TS]

00:49:15   say pivot E box search we're encouraged [TS]

00:49:18   that PAP cubes but no one ever goes [TS]

00:49:20   anywhere close yeah anyway so I decided [TS]

00:49:23   I was gonna start taking I didn't want [TS]

00:49:25   to get left behind it's a thing when [TS]

00:49:27   Matt Damon goes up to the to the Elysium [TS]

00:49:29   and starts kicking ass with all the [TS]

00:49:33   people that are living in a in a [TS]

00:49:34   terrarium up in up in wall-e super [TS]

00:49:39   spaceship I didn't want to be the one [TS]

00:49:42   that I don't believe I'm gonna picture [TS]

00:49:44   do like Google for then does he have a [TS]

00:49:45   science spine in that is that what that [TS]

00:49:47   is [TS]

00:49:47   whoo yeah he has a science spine and [TS]

00:49:50   looks like he's got a GoPro in the back [TS]

00:49:51   of his head okay [TS]

00:49:53   because in the future everybody has a [TS]

00:49:54   science spine and everybody is a karate [TS]

00:49:56   master but they all live they all live [TS]

00:49:58   down on earth in like Johannesburg while [TS]

00:50:01   this bet while the specials live up in [TS]

00:50:03   Elysium in like the wall-e thing except [TS]

00:50:07   they're not they're not chubby okay the [TS]

00:50:11   wall we knew they got peloton or like [TS]

00:50:14   one of those things up there the well [TS]

00:50:15   the thing is I think they're taking in a [TS]

00:50:17   B D plus plus it's got any D plus yeah [TS]

00:50:20   so I was like look I'm not gonna sit [TS]

00:50:22   here and watch you take a Liam every day [TS]

00:50:24   and not also do it but I don't want to [TS]

00:50:26   be I'm calling would that be for her to [TS]

00:50:28   outlive you well and things she's [TS]

00:50:30   already younger than me I now she's got [TS]

00:50:31   she's got an edge so I wanted all the [TS]

00:50:33   Saturdays I wanted more Saturdays so I [TS]

00:50:36   started taking nad well [TS]

00:50:37   then so that goes in the pillbox and [TS]

00:50:40   then I was when I started taking the [TS]

00:50:44   bipolar medicine I started to feel like [TS]

00:50:47   I wasn't remembering certain [TS]

00:50:50   conversation thinkable over a couple of [TS]

00:50:53   gingko biloba what is taken oh so so I [TS]

00:50:58   went online [TS]

00:50:58   uh-huh everything I get is online yeah I [TS]

00:51:02   went on that's the biggest deal of all [TS]

00:51:04   online your than oxycontin online is [TS]

00:51:07   your big deal they're gonna raise your [TS]

00:51:08   price on prime you can be so mad they're [TS]

00:51:12   like guess what prime is born I didn't [TS]

00:51:18   want it in the print place I paid more [TS]

00:51:20   for it now yeah now I got to watch 40 [TS]

00:51:23   movies a week just to pay it off so oh [TS]

00:51:27   yeah an Hodgman gave me clear clear [TS]

00:51:30   which lets you go through the airports [TS]

00:51:32   without talking to anybody [TS]

00:51:33   alright but you passed that on is it [TS]

00:51:36   like nobility do you yeah you have to be [TS]

00:51:38   like you have somebody that knows you [TS]

00:51:40   they vouch for you yeah United but then [TS]

00:51:43   the way Claire works is after you've had [TS]

00:51:44   it for a while on yeah if you've had [TS]

00:51:46   Hodgman clear then they're like we build [TS]

00:51:48   your account for your payment for clear [TS]

00:51:52   they pay for it you pay you big house [TS]

00:51:55   would you keep out the smokes [TS]

00:51:57   yeah you're keeping Snorks out who don't [TS]

00:52:00   who don't have the money to pay for it [TS]

00:52:11   nobody else would being clear I want to [TS]

00:52:13   clear the woman didn't even she walked [TS]

00:52:21   past she gave she gave the Heisman to [TS]

00:52:23   the TSA guy she's like she was like this [TS]

00:52:25   guy's with me and she walked me right up [TS]

00:52:27   to the pret Upton thing and I was just [TS]

00:52:28   like whoa yeah okay one day I feel like [TS]

00:52:31   I'm gonna get in that clear line and [TS]

00:52:33   instead of putting me on the flight that [TS]

00:52:35   I'm taking to Atlanta it's gonna put me [TS]

00:52:37   on a flight to Elysium and they're just [TS]

00:52:39   gonna say don't worry about it with this [TS]

00:52:40   you're not going to Atlanta anymore cuz [TS]

00:52:43   Atlanta doesn't exist we're going up but [TS]

00:52:45   the problem with it is if you amateur [TS]

00:52:47   eyes it [TS]

00:52:48   you gotta fly 40 times to make it seem [TS]

00:52:51   like it's real all jiminy would you play [TS]

00:52:53   would you pay $10 to not have to put [TS]

00:52:55   your gruel should be more like an [TS]

00:52:56   airport lounge where if you can go in [TS]

00:52:58   like there's been times when I'm like [TS]

00:52:59   shit yeah I'll pay 50 bucks to sit in [TS]

00:53:01   this place for two hours [TS]

00:53:02   you'd not be with the Snorks but I [TS]

00:53:04   wouldn't want to have to be charged for [TS]

00:53:05   it every month if I'm not using I'll you [TS]

00:53:07   get charged you get charged huh the [TS]

00:53:10   number of times I fly a year it's right [TS]

00:53:14   at the line where it's like I'm paying [TS]

00:53:17   $15 per time I fly no now is that [TS]

00:53:21   there'll be one time when that is a [TS]

00:53:23   hundred and fifty thousand percent worth [TS]

00:53:25   it right and then a bunch of times when [TS]

00:53:26   maybe they're letting you know they do [TS]

00:53:28   the freebie days where the Snorks get to [TS]

00:53:29   go through you've seen that it's clear [TS]

00:53:33   but there's the one where you get to go [TS]

00:53:34   to one of the special lines like oh yeah [TS]

00:53:36   today free trial you get to go through [TS]

00:53:37   the special line over here because we're [TS]

00:53:38   not very busy today no no that's not [TS]

00:53:42   gonna be clear cuz clear requires [TS]

00:53:43   clearly wants you to do a retinal scan [TS]

00:53:45   and all this okay all right you have to [TS]

00:53:47   be you know you have to be willing to [TS]

00:53:48   endure you have to be willing to wear [TS]

00:53:52   your privilege on your sleeve if you're [TS]

00:53:54   going to go through cure or clear [TS]

00:53:56   there's no better place to wear [TS]

00:53:57   privilege if you've not though at an [TS]

00:53:59   airport yes that's a perfect place for [TS]

00:54:00   privilege oh that's true too but if [TS]

00:54:03   you're at the airport and you're looking [TS]

00:54:04   over there and there's a guy there's a [TS]

00:54:06   guy with a corncob pipe and he's got two [TS]

00:54:08   chickens on his shoulders and he's like [TS]

00:54:32   The Simpsons the Seinfeld music and I I [TS]

00:54:46   was I got dropped off by my lift uh-huh [TS]

00:54:50   and I was sitting at the gate in six [TS]

00:54:54   minutes [TS]

00:54:54   but terminal terminal 1 terminal is that [TS]

00:54:58   open again yeah that's the [TS]

00:55:02   yeah they got a big like Calder mobile [TS]

00:55:05   no they don't but they should it's the [TS]

00:55:07   type of thing where they keep them [TS]

00:55:11   straight I think United is 3 well [TS]

00:55:13   there's international which is totally [TS]

00:55:14   baller [TS]

00:55:15   that's where version is I don't fly [TS]

00:55:17   United and I think one used to be the [TS]

00:55:23   odds and sods one and I think they [TS]

00:55:25   really did it [TS]

00:55:26   ok all right you did it it is that's a [TS]

00:55:29   six minutes is insane it's insane [TS]

00:55:32   it's almost like how it used to be to go [TS]

00:55:34   to the airport just right use login you [TS]

00:55:37   get here's my bags could be anything in [TS]

00:55:39   there I don't know walk on through give [TS]

00:55:40   you say hot sam back in the day when my [TS]

00:55:42   dad would walk me down to the gate yes [TS]

00:55:44   on the plane and play with the person [TS]

00:55:47   and just say on the strength I promise [TS]

00:55:49   to get off the plane yeah yeah yeah will [TS]

00:55:51   they be like all right everybody that's [TS]

00:55:52   not flying get off the plane now my god [TS]

00:55:54   be like alright here's the drink on the [TS]

00:55:56   way out here's a check for your mother [TS]

00:55:57   don't lose it like my dad would walk me [TS]

00:56:01   down to the gate sometimes and they'd be [TS]

00:56:02   like oh we've closed the gate and the [TS]

00:56:04   jetway is pulled away and my dad would [TS]

00:56:06   say I'm Dave Roderick let me tell you [TS]

00:56:08   why you need to bring the jetway back to [TS]

00:56:10   the plane and they'd be like all right I [TS]

00:56:12   mean that happened more than once if we [TS]

00:56:14   bring the jetway fact we withhold here [TS]

00:56:25   at some point your millennium girlfriend [TS]

00:56:27   had gotten you on to the Elysium so I'm [TS]

00:56:30   taking an 8020 bus but then I started to [TS]

00:56:34   I started to like people would say well [TS]

00:56:36   I remember you when you were talking to [TS]

00:56:38   that girl and you said this and I was I [TS]

00:56:39   remember right what do you mean and my [TS]

00:56:43   memory is is like a big part of um yes [TS]

00:56:47   my self-identity it's your brand I mean [TS]

00:56:50   I know I remember I remember things and [TS]

00:56:53   all of a sudden the thing is I still [TS]

00:56:54   could tell you all about the Grateful [TS]

00:56:56   Dead concert where I broke my knee but I [TS]

00:56:58   couldn't remember having met this person [TS]

00:56:59   a week and a half ago and it's it [TS]

00:57:02   spooked me and so I went on maybe maybe [TS]

00:57:05   it retards ate part of my saying here [TS]

00:57:06   retards aging by losing memories so you [TS]

00:57:09   feel like you're younger right right or [TS]

00:57:11   you just throw your lef encumbered by [TS]

00:57:13   the weight of metal it's like a clear [TS]

00:57:14   line for experience [TS]

00:57:15   I didn't want that no and so I go online [TS]

00:57:18   and you know if you if you look at the [TS]

00:57:21   contraindications of drugs they all say [TS]

00:57:24   the same thing which is this drug may [TS]

00:57:27   may give you the following symptoms [TS]

00:57:29   which is every conceivable symptom that [TS]

00:57:31   you could feel as a human being like [TS]

00:57:33   memory loss or you might not be able to [TS]

00:57:35   hold your poo in well there's always a [TS]

00:57:38   diarrhea headache yeah and then but [TS]

00:57:40   there's one like I've watched too much [TS]

00:57:41   NBC which is increasingly making me [TS]

00:57:43   realize what an old person network is [TS]

00:57:45   because it's all old person ads but I'll [TS]

00:57:47   be like you know uh salon tricks treats [TS]

00:57:53   do not take if you're allergic to [TS]

00:57:55   cilantro excellent tricks may cause [TS]

00:57:56   suicidal ideations like really right [TS]

00:57:58   right so in Turks might make your [TS]

00:58:00   mustache fall off so there's a lot of [TS]

00:58:03   things I can ukulele music one of the [TS]

00:58:12   things that they said on the line was [TS]

00:58:15   they said yes if you take lamictal [TS]

00:58:19   lamotrigine the limit to lamotrigine i [TS]

00:58:23   used to well it may affect your memory [TS]

00:58:27   but the thing that helps your memory it [TS]

00:58:30   may also the black box warning indicates [TS]

00:58:32   you might also get a deadly skin rash oh [TS]

00:58:34   that's right and that's the bad stuff [TS]

00:58:36   because every once and every once in a [TS]

00:58:38   blue mood somebody is taking lamictal or [TS]

00:58:43   lamotrigine in their skin falls off oh [TS]

00:58:45   my shrink who is like he was like a 9r [TS]

00:58:49   and like psychiatrist he would give me [TS]

00:58:50   anything but he's like look look in my [TS]

00:58:52   eyes seriously be very you're gonna [TS]

00:58:55   start with like 1/10 of a pill we'll try [TS]

00:58:57   that for a week then we'll go to like [TS]

00:58:59   1/8 of a pill like this is this stuff it [TS]

00:59:02   is serious and it will hit you fast if [TS]

00:59:04   you if you end up being one of the [TS]

00:59:06   people it's a black box warnings one of [TS]

00:59:07   those rare things that's like high [TS]

00:59:08   really big warning you will die if you [TS]

00:59:11   take this wrong you'll die in a really [TS]

00:59:13   bad way your skin will fall off which is [TS]

00:59:15   a bet your skin died yes if you have to [TS]

00:59:20   lose one thing your skin shouldn't be it [TS]

00:59:23   memory serves its on label for epilepsy [TS]

00:59:25   if he serves an off-label for I got a [TS]

00:59:28   from mood stabilization [TS]

00:59:29   yeah well and the mood stabilization was [TS]

00:59:31   the thing that they had they hadn't [TS]

00:59:34   approved for epilepsy and then it was [TS]

00:59:36   just one of those like licking the toad [TS]

00:59:38   in the Amazon rainforest touching such [TS]

00:59:41   patients since they're like wait a [TS]

00:59:43   minute all these people that had both [TS]

00:59:45   severe epilepsy or severe seizures let's [TS]

00:59:48   call them and also seem to be bipolar [TS]

00:59:51   wow look at this [TS]

00:59:52   they're not sad anymore and they're not [TS]

00:59:54   they didn't gamble their house away this [TS]

00:59:56   week which is a big improvement for them [TS]

00:59:58   no they lost is their skin [TS]

00:59:58   no they lost is their skin [TS]

01:00:00   as you see my largest organ so so I go [TS]

01:00:04   online and they're like if you are [TS]

01:00:06   suffering from memory loss from taking [TS]

01:00:08   lamictal the thing that works is if you [TS]

01:00:14   take an AC plus or minus [TS]

01:00:17   just regular Prime it's NEC prime MA see [TS]

01:00:20   there's no plus or minus it's like an [TS]

01:00:23   asset island Castaway salons they're [TS]

01:00:27   doing a lot of work in those letters [TS]

01:00:28   they are NAC not an on crash test [TS]

01:00:37   dummies plus and so I was like well this [TS]

01:00:42   is confusing because I'm already taking [TS]

01:00:43   NAD+ are you telling me I'm taking NEC [TS]

01:00:45   now to to to stave off the memory loss [TS]

01:00:49   from taking lamictal lamotrigine and you [TS]

01:00:52   know oh this is how they get you yeah so [TS]

01:00:55   I said all right [TS]

01:00:56   shit shit dawg I got a pill case now [TS]

01:00:59   that is the size of a Honda Civic it's [TS]

01:01:02   got 14 doors I'm just throwing pills in [TS]

01:01:05   here [TS]

01:01:06   so I ordered some NAC and the problem is [TS]

01:01:10   as soon as the NAC showed up they both [TS]

01:01:12   have because they don't have Elysium [TS]

01:01:13   style labels they just have whatever [TS]

01:01:16   junk junk style labels when I run out of [TS]

01:01:20   one of them I can't remember whether [TS]

01:01:24   it's the NAC or the nad oh no no I very [TS]

01:01:32   different no they look but is it just [TS]

01:01:34   see I take a bunch of stuff that's just [TS]

01:01:36   like white stuff in a capsule yeah along [TS]

01:01:38   that's what this is and it just looks [TS]

01:01:40   like German tinctures right because [TS]

01:01:44   neither one of them is like is is FDA [TS]

01:01:47   approved for any I mean yeah you know I [TS]

01:01:49   think is approved for asthma attacks [TS]

01:01:52   yeah but it also restores your memory [TS]

01:01:54   and nad+ is basically like a placebo [TS]

01:01:59   that makes you think you're gonna live [TS]

01:02:00   on a speech you need a really good tilt [TS]

01:02:06   case is what you need I do what [TS]

01:02:09   basically I need one that's a fanny [TS]

01:02:10   packs [TS]

01:02:11   step but strapped to my leg like like [TS]

01:02:14   Tomb Raider I'm feeling a little bit [TS]

01:02:23   memory weird [TS]

01:02:23   Kapow my memory might be better but I'm [TS]

01:02:26   not sure I'll stop taking it down that's [TS]

01:02:29   the other thing with the limit tellers [TS]

01:02:30   yeah taper off - don't don't do that [TS]

01:02:33   don't and sometimes I forget and then [TS]

01:02:34   it's like oh boy it's been a whole day [TS]

01:02:36   but apparently it stays in your body for [TS]

01:02:37   like a couple of days so you don't have [TS]

01:02:39   to freak out your skin won't fall off [TS]

01:02:40   yeah but with any D when you go online [TS]

01:02:42   you're like I want some NAD+ I'm looking [TS]

01:02:44   on Amazon right now they have a life [TS]

01:02:46   extension brand NAD+ cell cell [TS]

01:02:50   regenerator Unicode nicotine gum I read [TS]

01:02:55   both side I was liven Radley Slavin it's [TS]

01:02:58   yeah reiben flavin was my roommate in [TS]

01:03:01   college [TS]

01:03:05   so the problem with NAD+ is that all [TS]

01:03:08   those things on Amazon so I went on [TS]

01:03:10   right and I was like what's the optimal [TS]

01:03:13   dosage of NAD+ and they were like well [TS]

01:03:16   you can take up to 500 milligrams but we [TS]

01:03:19   think you pee out the last 200 of that [TS]

01:03:21   so the so the ideal dosage of this thing [TS]

01:03:24   that we don't know what it does is add [TS]

01:03:26   250 milligrams a day not sure sounds [TS]

01:03:28   that sounds about right that's what I [TS]

01:03:29   would have guessed yeah yeah but a lot [TS]

01:03:31   of the bottles that you buy because I [TS]

01:03:33   don't want to sit be taking this stuff [TS]

01:03:34   all day a lot of these lobbies come in [TS]

01:03:36   125 we might have to double up which I [TS]

01:03:40   hate this is how they get you your order [TS]

01:03:44   from Amazon you get it on Prime and now [TS]

01:03:46   it's not gonna fit a goddamn pillbox [TS]

01:03:47   getting the pillbox from Amazon and I [TS]

01:03:49   was just raised their prices give me a [TS]

01:03:50   fucking break I thought at one time and [TS]

01:03:52   it was like you know something like 50 [TS]

01:03:56   doses 250 milligrams and it came and [TS]

01:03:59   then I turned the bottle over and read [TS]

01:04:03   it more carefully and it was like [TS]

01:04:04   service emphasized to serving sides - [TS]

01:04:07   yeah and I was just like oh I want you [TS]

01:04:09   to die a thousand deaths a few people [TS]

01:04:11   with your fake labels like just make a [TS]

01:04:13   two hundred fifty milligram pills I know [TS]

01:04:14   you can [TS]

01:04:15   yeah so make the whole plane out of nad [TS]

01:04:17   that's right right I so I took I have to [TS]

01:04:21   take another 45 minutes going and [TS]

01:04:22   searching all these things to find out [TS]

01:04:24   which one is [TS]

01:04:26   pill container you better hope you don't [TS]

01:04:29   mix them up or have a little spill uh-uh [TS]

01:04:32   nowhere well in every single one of them [TS]

01:04:34   is slightly different size or slightly [TS]

01:04:36   different color so I I kind of know what [TS]

01:04:39   their what they're doing but now I'm [TS]

01:04:40   taking a bunch of pills that's like as [TS]

01:04:42   big as a bird's nest like I feel like [TS]

01:04:45   I'm eating four blue eggs a day can I [TS]

01:04:47   say just on the toss this out hi this is [TS]

01:04:49   not on you I feel like it might be a [TS]

01:04:51   little bit of a constraint of your [TS]

01:04:53   imagination cuz your thing about pillbox [TS]

01:04:55   what if we take it from a different [TS]

01:04:55   angle what about more like a tackle box [TS]

01:04:58   the tackle box or maybe like a like an [TS]

01:05:01   artist's supply box yeah very cool art [TS]

01:05:05   of supply boxes it's gotta fit in a [TS]

01:05:07   small bag well but see what the amount [TS]

01:05:10   of things you're taking you might need [TS]

01:05:11   another bag you might be spoke pill [TS]

01:05:13   Filson this is the thing I'm afraid of [TS]

01:05:19   because first of all I don't know if [TS]

01:05:21   some of these oh and then because I'm [TS]

01:05:22   taking a B in the D I figured why not [TS]

01:05:25   throw a fish oil pill in there God is [TS]

01:05:29   the size of Moscow give me an update [TS]

01:05:31   account where you are on a daily basis [TS]

01:05:33   how many was talking about you some [TS]

01:05:34   talking about like nine pills or nine [TS]

01:05:36   pills and I don't know which ones [TS]

01:05:39   counteract which ones some of them [TS]

01:05:41   you're not supposed to drink grapefruit [TS]

01:05:42   juice yeah this one over here says [TS]

01:05:44   there's no soup like I don't get a [TS]

01:05:47   project manager for your life you end up [TS]

01:05:50   being the de-facto project manager for [TS]

01:05:52   all the pills you put in your face and [TS]

01:05:53   how are you doing now you're not a [TS]

01:05:54   physician when all these things are like [TS]

01:05:56   these aren't these aren't prescription [TS]

01:05:58   drugs these are just shit I find it's [TS]

01:06:00   cool there's no lethal dose right except [TS]

01:06:04   what happens I mean like if I sat down [TS]

01:06:07   with the pharmacologist [TS]

01:06:08   which is what they call them and I said [TS]

01:06:12   all right here's all the pills what do [TS]

01:06:14   you think of this yeah they're gonna get [TS]

01:06:16   into your interactions and agonism and [TS]

01:06:17   whatnot yeah and are they gonna say like [TS]

01:06:19   well nine out of ten of these pills are [TS]

01:06:21   just in that one fish oil because that's [TS]

01:06:23   all we any of us really need just take [TS]

01:06:26   one fish oil pill a day [TS]

01:06:27   say if you take this little little pill [TS]

01:06:31   for your heart yeah and this big pill [TS]

01:06:33   for living on a spaceship yeah the two [TS]

01:06:35   are going to combine to [TS]

01:06:37   to turn into a right close I'll abide Oh [TS]

01:06:40   like a healthful Tron or something you [TS]

01:06:43   know something is that gonna is that [TS]

01:06:45   gonna bounce off the free radicals brian [TS]

01:06:49   says synergism synergy well one plus one [TS]

01:06:52   is 158 that kind of thing I can't win a [TS]

01:06:54   fraction what's the opposite of synergy [TS]

01:06:57   like is he a great man is he you know [TS]

01:07:01   like does he does he ride the lightning [TS]

01:07:05   has he ever seen the the fucking c-beams [TS]

01:07:08   glitter off the Tannhauser game like no [TS]

01:07:12   I don't want it working John I can tell [TS]

01:07:15   the pills are working you're lousy with [TS]

01:07:17   Elysium so one so what I need is [TS]

01:07:21   basically a thing that when I sit down [TS]

01:07:23   at the little desk in my hook in my like [TS]

01:07:26   miserable hotel yes because sometimes [TS]

01:07:36   when I'm feeling brave I'm like I'm [TS]

01:07:38   gonna eat all these pills in one gulp oh [TS]

01:07:40   no no no that's gonna put on your [TS]

01:07:44   trachea I throw them all in there and I [TS]

01:07:46   drink this big glass water I'm like yeah [TS]

01:07:48   but then that voice in my head that's [TS]

01:07:52   one in all the Saturdays is like what [TS]

01:07:54   happens you know like all your cool rock [TS]

01:07:56   star friends all die box cotton [TS]

01:07:58   overdoses yeah what happens if you're [TS]

01:08:00   the one that chokes on a fish oil pill [TS]

01:08:03   like that's gonna that's a bad look on [TS]

01:08:06   you you you know like don't die young [TS]

01:08:08   because you're like brave about taking a [TS]

01:08:10   bunch of like like me boy Billy Joel [TS]

01:08:13   writes a song about you it's gonna be so [TS]

01:08:15   sad don't do that that's not that's not [TS]

01:08:17   beef so now I take him in three gulps [TS]

01:08:19   okay but you know I just I feel like [TS]

01:08:22   such a duck like a ding-a-ling [TS]

01:08:24   yeah it's mm I went from no pill to nine [TS]

01:08:28   pills yeah and it was just like pill [TS]

01:08:31   escalation because I was taking one that [TS]

01:08:32   helped and who knows I mean who knows if [TS]

01:08:35   I do if I wean myself off all of those [TS]

01:08:37   if there's gonna if there's apocalypse [TS]

01:08:39   mm-hmm [TS]

01:08:40   like and I'm out living a living in the [TS]

01:08:42   danger [TS]

01:08:43   am I gonna be am I gonna wean off all [TS]

01:08:46   these things and then my skin falls off [TS]

01:08:47   oh and here's the thing is like death [TS]

01:08:50   stuff may seem to be doing [TS]

01:08:51   something or nothing so you're not worse [TS]

01:08:53   off but in like what happens when the [TS]

01:08:56   apocalypse comes and suddenly daddy got [TS]

01:08:57   no lamictal how's that gonna go oh well [TS]

01:09:00   good put some in your survival bucket I [TS]

01:09:02   figured out a way around that but I'm [TS]

01:09:03   not gonna tell everybody but I [TS]

01:09:05   definitely feel like look this whole [TS]

01:09:08   business of people that take [TS]

01:09:10   prescriptions which is you're basically [TS]

01:09:13   tied to the doctor and the drugstore so [TS]

01:09:17   it's a whole system yeah for me for me [TS]

01:09:20   that meant having to go to my shrink [TS]

01:09:21   once a month pick up a paper [TS]

01:09:23   prescription you're walking into a [TS]

01:09:26   drugstore have them give me the side eye [TS]

01:09:28   and then give me exactly 30 days worth [TS]

01:09:30   of pills yeah exactly 30 days exactly [TS]

01:09:34   yeah it's like this is not a drug you [TS]

01:09:35   can abuse there is no secondary market [TS]

01:09:37   for you can't sell it on the street [TS]

01:09:39   okay so my license to get fucking [TS]

01:09:40   claritin-d and that's what for pimples [TS]

01:09:43   no no no no no that's from my from a [TS]

01:09:46   breathing first oh yeah you can get that [TS]

01:09:52   Charlie Brown shit off the shelf but if [TS]

01:09:53   you want stuff that actually works and [TS]

01:09:55   maybe gives you a little bit energy you [TS]

01:09:56   want the claritin-d behind the counter [TS]

01:09:57   and they give you the side-eye well keep [TS]

01:09:59   walking outside I I don't want any side [TS]

01:10:01   eye and also I did not like being [TS]

01:10:03   tethered to this 30-day thing no no no [TS]

01:10:06   you're in the teeth of the gears at this [TS]

01:10:08   point my friend well I'm like what [TS]

01:10:10   happens if I go offline what happens if [TS]

01:10:12   I go in the in the hole you know what if [TS]

01:10:14   you lose the Bitcoin wallet it has all [TS]

01:10:16   your prescriptions on it exactly what [TS]

01:10:17   are you gonna do then it's what happens [TS]

01:10:19   if the walgreens closes what happens if [TS]

01:10:21   all Walgreens closed once they break the [TS]

01:10:23   blockchain what if the blockchain breaks [TS]

01:10:25   them nothing there are no bipolars and [TS]

01:10:29   foxholes you know what you need to do I [TS]

01:10:31   think is you need to come up with an [TS]

01:10:33   honest you've been very forthcoming [TS]

01:10:34   today and for that I respect to you you [TS]

01:10:36   need to call with a spec you know to [TS]

01:10:38   paraphrase Donald Rumsfeld it you the [TS]

01:10:41   pillbox that you want that you would [TS]

01:10:43   desire you need to say this I need this [TS]

01:10:46   many cubic millimeters of space for my [TS]

01:10:48   at this point probably 13 pills a day [TS]

01:10:50   you need to give that a closure what you [TS]

01:10:53   want to look like if you want to have a [TS]

01:10:54   theme like maybe like a Donald Duck [TS]

01:10:55   thing and you need to put that out in [TS]

01:10:57   front of Generation supertrain and see [TS]

01:10:59   what they can come up with because we [TS]

01:11:00   know people as you know as you know we [TS]

01:11:03   know people with 3d printers [TS]

01:11:04   we know makers we know there's a makers [TS]

01:11:07   faire and they could make you the pill [TS]

01:11:10   box of your dreams well you saw the duck [TS]

01:11:12   that lost its feet that got plastic feet [TS]

01:11:14   from a 3d printer there's nothing we [TS]

01:11:16   can't print anymore John you can I mean [TS]

01:11:17   you could probably pretty bitcoins me [TS]

01:11:18   I'd look duck with plastic feet you know [TS]

01:11:21   what I mean like I want a steampunk pill [TS]

01:11:23   case but I want it to look like yeah I [TS]

01:11:26   wanted to look like wild wild west from [TS]

01:11:28   the sixties not wild wild west from the [TS]

01:11:31   night we watched Ocean's eleven last [TS]

01:11:33   night and which i think is a pretty good [TS]

01:11:35   movie it's okay yeah but it's got a lot [TS]

01:11:37   of the thing you like Don Cheadle [TS]

01:11:39   setting aside his really really quite [TS]

01:11:41   bad English accent god no it's so but [TS]

01:11:45   there are a lot of guys who have a cool [TS]

01:11:47   metal suitcase with film in it and [TS]

01:11:50   compartments is that in a direction you [TS]

01:11:52   would consider going I do like that but [TS]

01:11:54   the but the problem is I don't want [TS]

01:11:55   first of all if I'm gonna handcuff [TS]

01:11:56   something to my wrists I want it to be [TS]

01:11:58   the football yeah Jewish girl well so [TS]

01:12:02   because you get to clear well you gotta [TS]

01:12:06   get through clear but also like this has [TS]

01:12:08   all got to be you know everything's got [TS]

01:12:11   to be on the DL you've gotta look like [TS]

01:12:13   you're just sitting there like [TS]

01:12:16   recalibrating the phone yeah you don't [TS]

01:12:18   want to look like you're going anywhere [TS]

01:12:19   doing anything and and so you can't like [TS]

01:12:24   be carrying a football you can't be you [TS]

01:12:27   can't be handcuffed to a girl right you [TS]

01:12:29   know like that's the spin you got a [TS]

01:12:31   football or biscuit or a girl in a chain [TS]

01:12:33   that's the kind of thing that raises [TS]

01:12:34   eyebrows even in ClearType situation [TS]

01:12:35   that's why you're paying the big bucks [TS]

01:12:36   well it's got a first of all it's got to [TS]

01:12:38   be mental handcuffs right a man takes a [TS]

01:12:40   look that takes that's gonna take a [TS]

01:12:41   months but but what I you know what I [TS]

01:12:45   I feel like I feel like the secret here [TS]

01:12:48   I mean I went on I went to the Canadia [TS]

01:12:52   mm-hmm because sometimes Canadia just [TS]

01:12:54   like Germania they have different [TS]

01:12:58   attitudes about drugs and they're like [TS]

01:13:00   drugs are so cheap sure you want to get [TS]

01:13:03   a 3 3 3 give it mmm [TS]

01:13:05   our 2 2 2 or a 5 5 5 or 110-120 whatever [TS]

01:13:09   it takes and so but they feel the same [TS]

01:13:14   way about lamictal [TS]

01:13:15   or they don't poor they don't feel any [TS]

01:13:16   way about it [TS]

01:13:17   but I couldn't go up there and buy a big [TS]

01:13:19   bin yeah up um because they're all so [TS]

01:13:22   like now you got to be tethered to these [TS]

01:13:24   mm-hmm but that's that's that's not the [TS]

01:13:27   key I wanted Johnny the problem is I [TS]

01:13:29   don't like to buy into this but don't [TS]

01:13:32   email me but the generic is not always [TS]

01:13:35   the same as the brand like be careful my [TS]

01:13:40   shrink told me there were cases in and [TS]

01:13:42   he's not believing like I said he was a [TS]

01:13:44   libertarian he doesn't sweat this kind [TS]

01:13:45   of stuff but like it was like he's had [TS]

01:13:48   people like call him up in a pretty bad [TS]

01:13:51   way oh where he basically was Destin did [TS]

01:13:54   you just stop taking the X that I gave [TS]

01:13:56   you and it turns out they were on the [TS]

01:13:58   generic na I wasn't doing what it's [TS]

01:14:00   supposed to it's not super well [TS]

01:14:02   regulated ro you might want to put down [TS]

01:14:08   you know couple extra bitcoins and get [TS]

01:14:10   the good lamictal for some of that [TS]

01:14:12   all right oh wait a minute I don't get [TS]

01:14:14   the good stuff anymore cuz I got because [TS]

01:14:16   I was like uh I don't know why I care [TS]

01:14:20   about saving the insurance company money [TS]

01:14:21   yeah I should just be getting the [TS]

01:14:23   gold-plated you got a big heart that's [TS]

01:14:25   part of the problem you know I think you [TS]

01:14:45   should get some help from our listeners [TS]

01:14:47   you should tell them what it is that [TS]

01:14:48   you're looking for the style that you're [TS]

01:14:50   looking for people know your personal [TS]

01:14:51   aesthetic right you've gone into [TS]

01:14:53   pilsen and said you want a purple bag I [TS]

01:14:55   think you could do that with our [TS]

01:14:56   listeners I'm not I don't want to put [TS]

01:14:57   you on along the line here as they say [TS]

01:14:59   but like you you could probably get some [TS]

01:15:00   help making a very very cool very very [TS]

01:15:02   cool case the thing about it is that old [TS]

01:15:07   apothecary stuff is made out of glass [TS]

01:15:10   but I like to be able to use my bag as a [TS]

01:15:14   pillow and so I can't have it's not [TS]

01:15:18   something where I've got a hard case [TS]

01:15:19   suitcase with wheels on it and I walk [TS]

01:15:22   through the [TS]

01:15:23   and I walked through the airport like [TS]

01:15:26   some kind of flight attendant like I've [TS]

01:15:27   got a thing that if if push comes to [TS]

01:15:30   shove I want to be able to like I [TS]

01:15:34   suppose with a hardshell suitcase if you [TS]

01:15:36   if push comes to shove and you bail out [TS]

01:15:38   of an airplane on top of a glacier you [TS]

01:15:41   can ride that suitcase down to the end [TS]

01:15:43   of the glacier but that's not what I [TS]

01:15:44   want what I want right is the ability to [TS]

01:15:48   first of all use it as a pillow maybe [TS]

01:15:51   use it as a water bag I don't know to be [TS]

01:15:55   wet I don't oh it could be a weapon it [TS]

01:15:58   could be a defensive weapon it could be [TS]

01:15:59   like a shield I think more than anything [TS]

01:16:01   I want to be prepared for time travel if [TS]

01:16:05   I walk through a temporal anomaly and it [TS]

01:16:08   transports me back to 1810 I don't want [TS]

01:16:11   to be standing there with some bag right [TS]

01:16:14   that looks like a that looks like a [TS]

01:16:16   plastic turtle I want to be able to say [TS]

01:16:18   like 19th century I bro it sure will and [TS]

01:16:22   so I don't want my pill case to be the [TS]

01:16:24   thing that gives me away I see I but in [TS]

01:16:28   the olden times it would either I want [TS]

01:16:31   to be able to see into it so it would [TS]

01:16:32   either be made of glass or maybe like [TS]

01:16:34   super thin tortoiseshell maybe I'm like [TS]

01:16:37   a really rich person and they care for [TS]

01:16:39   this yeah it's made out of amber or [TS]

01:16:41   something or amber grief or amber curry [TS]

01:16:44   right it's made of honey I don't know [TS]

01:16:46   what it is steampunk I feel like [TS]

01:16:49   steampunk gives you so many options for [TS]

01:16:51   eras it does it does and and I'm you [TS]

01:16:56   know like in my steampunk adjacent no I [TS]

01:16:58   would not say no I'm never gonna wear [TS]

01:17:01   goggles I do not want gauges on anything [TS]

01:17:03   but do and I'm certainly not gonna wear [TS]

01:17:06   a duster we've covered that too started [TS]

01:17:10   wearing one no I'm good I got the memo a [TS]

01:17:12   long time ago yeah but do you know [TS]

01:17:15   you're not in a John Woo movie get over [TS]

01:17:17   it I'm not in a John Woo movie but if [TS]

01:17:18   you look at if you look at Han Solo yes [TS]

01:17:22   han Solo take the blaster away mm-hmm [TS]

01:17:25   well lady could go anywhere replace it [TS]

01:17:28   with a pistol a no anyway he could be in [TS]

01:17:31   the regiment of almost any country at [TS]

01:17:33   almost any time yeah he'd be an officer [TS]

01:17:37   in [TS]

01:17:37   almost any military he'd walk right up [TS]

01:17:39   to d'Artagnan and say need another [TS]

01:17:41   musketeer yes right he could go he could [TS]

01:17:44   be anywhere he could do anything he [TS]

01:17:45   could be he could be where could he be [TS]

01:17:48   he could be could walk up to st. [TS]

01:17:50   Augustine and say I forgot my tie can I [TS]

01:17:54   can I come in I confess right right so I [TS]

01:17:57   feel like Han Solo is it it should be a [TS]

01:18:01   good place to start [TS]

01:18:02   can you can you pull out oh I forget if [TS]

01:18:03   we talked about this how are you as a [TS]

01:18:05   vest can you do a vest so I've started [TS]

01:18:07   as a vest is a tough thing to pull off [TS]

01:18:10   I've started to try to pretend that I'm [TS]

01:18:14   not fat and oh and one of the like you [TS]

01:18:18   could do the Andrew Dice Clay thing [TS]

01:18:20   where you cut your sideburns to look [TS]

01:18:22   like a jawline okay but that doesn't be [TS]

01:18:24   trying to be like a forced perspective [TS]

01:18:25   thing on your face yeah it's the George [TS]

01:18:27   Lucas problem Oh dear me no right well [TS]

01:18:30   it's like you might have been 3d printed [TS]

01:18:32   I [TS]

01:18:33   well his beard certainly is yes you know [TS]

01:18:36   it's the dewlap it's didn't anybody with [TS]

01:18:39   where you trim that thing he's still [TS]

01:18:40   gonna do that look like the strap of a [TS]

01:18:42   1940's football helmet it's a classic [TS]

01:18:44   meat beard all right you don't want you [TS]

01:18:46   don't want you don't want your you don't [TS]

01:18:48   want your turkey waddle to stick out [TS]

01:18:49   below your beard because I would you [TS]

01:18:51   wait a minute do that the potato [TS]

01:18:52   fighting a line so close it's like I [TS]

01:18:55   don't understand it okay so you need [TS]

01:18:57   some best okay because I'm like well the [TS]

01:19:01   part of me that I want to conceal is my [TS]

01:19:03   big tummy [TS]

01:19:04   why don't I accentuate it with a garment [TS]

01:19:06   that only is like extra tummy okay but I [TS]

01:19:11   do feel like again there's a fine line [TS]

01:19:14   between like wearing a vest where it's [TS]

01:19:17   like I'm a riverboat gambler and wearing [TS]

01:19:20   a vest where you say I'm a I'm a college [TS]

01:19:23   professor who's taking his jacket off [TS]

01:19:25   yeah being a riverboat gambler versus [TS]

01:19:27   being like something who does card [TS]

01:19:29   tricks [TS]

01:19:29   perfect right good time Charlie and his [TS]

01:19:33   vest well but I like a wool vest but the [TS]

01:19:36   problem is a wool vest then you're [TS]

01:19:38   talking about a Patagonia here if you [TS]

01:19:39   want so you can like my wife has an [TS]

01:19:41   outfit that I love that is very Han Solo [TS]

01:19:43   she's like sexy Han Solo when she goes [TS]

01:19:45   to work she wears is one outfit I'm like [TS]

01:19:46   wow you look like Han Solo it's really [TS]

01:19:47   she's got a puppy because it puppies not [TS]

01:19:49   that puffy it's Patagonia it's [TS]

01:19:51   pretty small profile but she's got cool [TS]

01:19:53   boots and some pants and she's a real [TS]

01:19:55   smart look you know but I'm talking [TS]

01:19:58   about a Patagonia you're talking about a [TS]

01:19:59   waistcoat yeah I have to be careful [TS]

01:20:01   around a rounded down vest or a puffy [TS]

01:20:04   vest because I do have some I have a [TS]

01:20:07   green puppy vest that dates back to 1975 [TS]

01:20:10   and I stole it from my dad in 1981 Wow [TS]

01:20:13   and I still have it it's kind of held [TS]

01:20:16   that held together with duct tape and [TS]

01:20:18   then I have that original purple vest [TS]

01:20:20   that Kel McCarl stole from Gary King [TS]

01:20:23   sporting goods that's a that's a purple [TS]

01:20:26   North Face back when North Face you know [TS]

01:20:29   by a thread before your life and this [TS]

01:20:34   this vest if you if you've jumped out of [TS]

01:20:36   a plane and landed on a glacier you [TS]

01:20:37   could ride that best to the Baja Jemmy [TS]

01:20:39   and I still have both of those things [TS]

01:20:41   and I and I do wear them but like the [TS]

01:20:45   other day I was at a thrift store and I [TS]

01:20:47   found a barb or the vest which is a [TS]

01:20:51   quilted vest that is like it's like a [TS]

01:20:58   fox hunting vest or something like that [TS]

01:21:00   and it was not very it was not very much [TS]

01:21:03   and I was like do I go this way with my [TS]

01:21:07   life and I did I got it and I did go [TS]

01:21:11   that way and the other day I was out [TS]

01:21:14   this is a long time ago when I was at [TS]

01:21:15   the the women's March the pussy hat [TS]

01:21:19   March and I wore my barb or vest [TS]

01:21:23   underneath my other garment and then the [TS]

01:21:27   wind picked up and I had already pre [TS]

01:21:31   protected my daughter with her large [TS]

01:21:33   coat even though she was mad wear a coat [TS]

01:21:38   and I had my barb or quilted vest and I [TS]

01:21:41   felt like I had like I had a secret [TS]

01:21:44   weapon which was an undergarment that [TS]

01:21:47   was under the other eye like their stuff [TS]

01:21:50   well it's really nice but it isn't you [TS]

01:21:53   know they're not giving it away no they [TS]

01:21:54   aren't [TS]

01:21:55   but it but you know it's like pretty [TS]

01:21:57   nice I've seen the one you're talking [TS]

01:22:00   about it's pretty low profile it's not [TS]

01:22:02   puffy you don't look like you're going [TS]

01:22:03   skiing in the 80s no no no it's very low [TS]

01:22:05   it's it's it's the year mint it's that [TS]

01:22:08   it's that whole English like Country [TS]

01:22:10   Life thing sometimes guys wearing with a [TS]

01:22:12   necktie knits kind of sharp [TS]

01:22:14   you're meant to look like you're not [TS]

01:22:16   meant to look right [TS]

01:22:18   you know like Prince Charles has been [TS]

01:22:20   wearing the same double-breasted jacket [TS]

01:22:22   since 1960 and that's because he's rich [TS]

01:22:27   and so RIS is lucky just he's gonna be [TS]

01:22:29   king any day now that's right I just [TS]

01:22:30   can't wait to be king [TS]

01:22:31   there's a whole website that talks about [TS]

01:22:33   the patches that the British royal [TS]

01:22:36   family has put on their clothes like a [TS]

01:22:38   hankie coat hanky coat oh you know just [TS]

01:22:42   lets you know little about preferences [TS]

01:22:45   [Music] [TS]

01:22:46   no no it's not that it's it's that [TS]

01:22:50   there's a website where the we're you [TS]

01:22:52   know they're all the photographer's that [TS]

01:22:53   are standing around trying to get [TS]

01:22:54   pictures of Emma Thompson when she gets [TS]

01:22:55   out of a car yeah [TS]

01:22:56   but then there are the photographers [TS]

01:22:58   that have really long lenses that are [TS]

01:23:00   just chasing Queen Elizabeth around [TS]

01:23:01   Balmoral Castle okay just trying to get [TS]

01:23:03   pictures of record user yeah and those [TS]

01:23:06   people have these these pictures of like [TS]

01:23:11   like you know Prince Mountbatten or [TS]

01:23:15   whatever and they're like here's a [TS]

01:23:17   picture of him in 1971 wearing this coat [TS]

01:23:20   here's a picture of him in 2015 wearing [TS]

01:23:23   the same exact coat and we zoomed in on [TS]

01:23:26   his cuffs and they've been repaired [TS]

01:23:28   that's old money that's whatever [TS]

01:23:31   understands that is old money old money [TS]

01:23:33   is you get something nice and then you [TS]

01:23:34   keep it around it gets a little bit beat [TS]

01:23:36   up you fix it it's so hot it is I mean [TS]

01:23:38   why do I know that website is there [TS]

01:23:40   because I have gone there and studied [TS]

01:23:42   all these silent years like oh one of [TS]

01:23:44   the one of the brass buttons on Prince [TS]

01:23:46   Charles's jacket doesn't match the [TS]

01:23:48   others like they could they didn't even [TS]

01:23:50   bother to find a matching button it's so [TS]

01:23:52   brilliant but that's where that sort of [TS]

01:23:55   that stuff comes into play because it's [TS]

01:23:58   it's meant to look like it's not meant [TS]

01:24:00   to look and I think that that's pretty [TS]

01:24:03   Han Solo - mm-hmm so your vest curious [TS]

01:24:07   I'm I am yeah I'm vest I'm by vest [TS]

01:24:13   you'll mmm right like I will wear the [TS]

01:24:16   right vest I try hard not to wear the [TS]

01:24:18   wrong vest sometimes it's hard it's a [TS]

01:24:22   commitment you know once you put that on [TS]

01:24:23   you're out of the house for the day [TS]

01:24:26   that's that's why I have like 14 [TS]

01:24:29   Stetsons but I've never worn one outside [TS]

01:24:31   because I put it on and I'm wearing it [TS]

01:24:34   I'm wearing it today I walk around the [TS]

01:24:35   house and slike I've got it this is it [TS]

01:24:37   this is it this is I'm going this [TS]

01:24:39   direction and then I get to the front [TS]

01:24:41   door I open the door and you know Gary's [TS]

01:24:45   across the street and I'm like I am NOT [TS]

01:24:47   fucking wearing this Stetson outside and [TS]

01:24:50   one day I feel like when my beard goes [TS]

01:24:52   in completely white which is not that [TS]

01:24:54   long what something happens that I just [TS]

01:24:58   have crossed the line and I'm a vest [TS]

01:25:01   wearing pill-popping geezer either then [TS]

01:25:08   I'm just gonna be like Stetsons I feel [TS]

01:25:10   like you'll know you'll know when it's [TS]

01:25:11   time the beard will the beard tell you [TS]

01:25:16   do you remember in the 90s when you [TS]

01:25:20   would be somewhere and in your case [TS]

01:25:22   you'd be there in your airforce jacket [TS]

01:25:24   with your Henderson with your with your [TS]

01:25:26   with your Dread Pirate Roberts mustache [TS]

01:25:29   and you'd be standing there with your [TS]

01:25:32   bacon ray guitar and some old would be [TS]

01:25:37   at the club would like died oh I know [TS]

01:25:40   that old you know the old oh I know the [TS]

01:25:43   old yeah yeah there's always an old [TS]

01:25:44   sometimes it's a prepper sometimes it's [TS]

01:25:47   a skinhead [TS]

01:25:47   there's always an old there's an old and [TS]

01:25:49   he's standing around with a group of 26 [TS]

01:25:51   year olds and he's like what's up fellow [TS]

01:25:52   kids and the elder statesmen know fellow [TS]

01:25:55   teenagers Yeah right and it's and it was [TS]

01:26:00   a bad look and it was - and I remember [TS]

01:26:02   those olds and they were probably 32 I [TS]

01:26:04   know there was a guy in Tampa's name was [TS]

01:26:07   Mike rat and he was an old school skin [TS]

01:26:10   that punk rocker and he was it every [TS]

01:26:11   show and he was like at the time he [TS]

01:26:12   looked 60 he was probably 30 - yeah but [TS]

01:26:16   I was 19 and I was like like well what [TS]

01:26:18   what has happened what had [TS]

01:26:20   happen was yeah styles changed so that [TS]

01:26:26   now it's no longer that the olds are [TS]

01:26:29   like trying to dress young hmm it's that [TS]

01:26:31   all the Youngs are trying to dress old [TS]

01:26:33   moment you know my mom laughs every time [TS]

01:26:35   she opens a catalog because she's like [TS]

01:26:36   every single person in here is dressed [TS]

01:26:38   like you mm-hmm and I'm like no fair [TS]

01:26:42   that's that's not a fair way to put that [TS]

01:26:45   they come up they caught up with me they [TS]

01:26:47   caught up that's right but the problem [TS]

01:26:49   is now you don't have that shirts than [TS]

01:26:52   you've had hot dinners you know same [TS]

01:26:54   dinner but I'm not putting Manic Panic [TS]

01:26:57   in my hair they're putting their they're [TS]

01:27:00   putting like like old sauce on [TS]

01:27:02   themselves right so do I look like an [TS]

01:27:08   old that's standing around trying to be [TS]

01:27:10   a young or do I just look like I always [TS]

01:27:11   looked like that should change you give [TS]

01:27:14   me a break kiddies I'm surrounded by [TS]

01:27:16   ducklings that are wearing fucking [TS]

01:27:18   better that are like carrying a hip [TS]

01:27:21   holster pillboxes now because I talked [TS]

01:27:24   about it on the goddamn show I'm taking [TS]

01:27:31   NAD+ because I want as many Saturdays as [TS]

01:27:35   I can get out of this life [TS]

01:27:38   shit dog [TS]