83: Live From WWDC 2014 With Marco Arment, Casey Liss, John Siracusa, and Scott Simpson
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Hello. Welcome to the talk show. A few things up front before we get started. I want to
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thank MailChimp. MailChimp is sponsoring this open bar. So raise a glass to MailChimp. Everybody
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here is drinking on their dime. Great email. If you've never heard of them, they do great
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email newsletters so go get another drink and then later tonight go set up a
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drunk newsletter with MailChimp. I want to thank Microsoft our flagship event
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sponsor they've got the banners here this is second year in a row that they've
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sponsored this event Azure mobile services truly truly great stuff a year
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ago I think it maybe was a little bit weirder that Microsoft and their online
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stuff was sponsoring this show at this conference and I think this year it's a
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little bit less weird I don't know I mean you guys know that with the stuff
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we're doing a Q branch with Vesper we're using them or we build our entire back
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end on their stuff certainly wouldn't do that just because they sponsored the
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show I'm happy that they're sponsoring a show because I really like their stuff
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really amazing stuff so if you're building anything with an online
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component I really really encourage you to look at what they have to offer
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It's really great even if you're like us and only develop for iOS and Mac OS.
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Even if you're really really firmly in the Apple developer ecosystem, they have
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great options and so check them out. How many people here have ever checked out
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Azure mobile services? Well that we've got to get that up by the end of the
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night so maybe I'll go backstage and let you guys investigate your your online
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storage needs. No, I'm gonna get started. So the first part of the show I have three
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very special guests. I have the guys from ATP, Marco Arment, John Siracusa and
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This is soft. This is cushy.
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Alright, so we've got each got mics.
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This is nice.
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Nice soft leather.
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They always put Casey in the middle.
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Like if you ever look.
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To be honest, I was expecting to be at the edge.
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So it'd be, oh yeah, just sit there and look pretty for a while.
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You're good.
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Even when they build themselves, I think it's Marco Arment, Casey List, and John Siracusi.
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You're always in the middle.
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It's obvious.
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Well it flows really nicely that way.
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>> Save the best for last. >> I put myself first. I made the site. And
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I kind of cheated. >> So big -- do we all agree this was a big
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WWDC, a big king of, right? >> Very much so.
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>> Everybody agrees? >> Oh, yeah.
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>> Oh, yeah. >> I was sitting in the press section two or
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three seats away from John, and I took a picture. It didn't come out because it's so dark in
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the area, you know, with the -- you know, the audience isn't lit. The stage is lit.
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But I got a picture of him looking happy.
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That's amazing.
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We were so disappointed because generally for the last few years it's been the three of us in the keynote
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and we were genuinely disappointed that we couldn't see his, like, victory dance in his seat
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because, you know, I'm assuming that there was some sort of complete spaz attack that happened.
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It's like an out-of-body experience. I didn't have much recollection of that one.
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When the Swift slide went up, like, I had already tweeted earlier in the thing,
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in the thing is this real life when he called Dr. Dre.
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So I couldn't use that one again,
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but it's exactly what I was thinking.
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Is this real life?
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Does that slide really go up?
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- Well, the reality is like wild exuberance from John
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is just like.
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- I had a big smile.
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I showed teeth.
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There are pictures.
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- So they announced, you know,
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so I forget the exact way they framed it,
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but it was, look, we've got this SDK
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and there's the awkward thing
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where Tim Cook had to explain, you know,
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for everybody out here who's never heard of an SDK,
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it's a software development kit.
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And there's this weird thing there where it's like, come on, come on, really?
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You're going to explain what SDK is at a developer conference?
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I know that this is being simulcast to 100 million people and there's press and these
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people don't really get it, but come on.
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But then, you know, it was, we're proud to announce today we're introducing a brand new
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programming language.
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And I look over at John and there was still no reaction.
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And I think it was like, I think his initial thought was, "Ah, there's got to be a catch."
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I don't even remember when he said that.
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All I remember is the orange Swift logo, and that was just, seriously, I have very little
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recollection.
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I was just, I was happy.
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I was just so happy that this was really happening.
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And then like everyone else was like, "You're seeing this too, right?"
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It's not just me.
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Was it the Grinch where like the smile just like very slowly just spreads?
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I can only imagine. I'm very jealous that you got to witness this firsthand.
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Yeah, I... it was... the highlight of the keynote for me was seeing his reaction.
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'Cause it really was, and I feel like then they kind of immediately kind of framed it that way,
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where it was sort of a... if you've been following this platform long enough,
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you hear "new programming language" and it's like, "Well, is it gonna be another bridge?"
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"Is it... we mean new programming language, like, new to you, it's gonna be Python,"
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or you're going to elevate the Ruby or you know or is it the real deal is it
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really a new Apple programming language custom-built for our frameworks and it's
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like holy shit yes it is yeah different different syntax it's not objective C
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4.0 you know all the things that they could have done if it's the whole
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process the whole debate amongst all of us is like oh why they need a new
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language they could just do X they can just do why look at how they've improved
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objective C and it's like I mean nobody thought that they were at ever settle
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they'll settle that debate. It's unequivocal. It looks unlike Objective-C in any way.
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So how much have you guys looked at Swift so far?
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Only a little bit. And I didn't go to – did you – no, you went to the Swift session.
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I went to the introduction to Swift. I mean, if we had all just had time to read that big
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iBooks or PDF thing, we would know a lot about it, but we haven't. But I bet if you read
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that, you'd know more than you knew from going to that session.
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>> Yeah, I mean, I poked through that book with little bits and pieces to see things
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that I thought were interesting. We were talking the other night about how closures were going
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to be handled and whether or not you needed to do memory stuff. And it turns out, yeah,
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you need to do that. But, I mean, really, I'm just thrilled that it's not Perl, because
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dealing with -- dealing with --
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>> It's almost Perl.
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>> Well, dealing with the smugness of it just being a new language.
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>> There's plenty of smugness with the Perl angle in there, too.
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They list Ruby as a thing, but come on, Ruby is an influence?
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Or do you think Ruby got influence?
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Alright, I'm gonna cut you off, because this is my...
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I wanna let you guys shine, but I listen to ATP every week, I don't need another episode.
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Fair enough, fair enough.
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Because that's a whole... you complaining about Pearl, and...
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Forget it, we're not... no more Pearl, last time we say that word.
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We have months of material for our show out of this.
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When is the last time, I don't know, like usual I've done no research, when is the last time Apple introduced its own programming language?
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Off the top of my head I want to say AppleScript.
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Dylan maybe?
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Yeah Dylan, but Dylan never, did it ship? Could you ever write an actual thing in the real world using it?
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I don't know, maybe not.
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Does Quartz Composer count for anything?
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I don't think that's a programming language, I think AppleScript was the last.
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HyperTalk, right?
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No, AppleScript came after HyperTalk. HyperTalk was first. I'm almost sure somebody looked
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it up. Someone in the chat room looked it up.
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No, I think off the top of my head, I'm going to say HyperCard was like 1989 or so, and
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AppleScript came out somewhere in the System 7 era, so it was, I think it was System 7-1.
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You could be right.
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And I think that big picture, not getting down into the nitty gritty of the details of what Swift is actually like as a programming language,
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zoom out and just kind of look at it and get the basics. I really do think that it is a very Apple-y programming language.
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Or at least representative of today's Apple, the modern Apple.
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I was going to say, like, Dylan represents the 90s Apple.
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And AppleScript.
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I think AppleScript is very much a language of and by 1991,
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'92 Apple, where the whole idea of we're not
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going to make programmers happy, we're
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going to make regular people programmers.
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Or even just like the hippy dippy kind of academic language.
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Like I have a highfalutin idea, and I'm
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going to embody that idea in a beautiful, perfect language
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or whatever.
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Whereas Swift is pragmatic.
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It's Chris Latnerized.
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Like it is 100% like everything else they've done.
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It's like down brass tacks, we need this thing to do x, y, and
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z, and we're going to make it.
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And if it's a little bit ugly, we don't care.
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Totally pragmatic.
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Yeah, and I compare it.
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My analogy is to the use of Helvetica throughout the UI on
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iOS and now on OS X. Helvetica is a great font.
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And I've always been a big fan of it.
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But it's also famously a very plain font.
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lot of people consider it to be the most neutral font that exists. That, you know, they call
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it Swiss typography, but that it, you know. I think part of the reason that phrase even
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comes on, not just that the Swiss used fonts like Helvetica, but that it's this sense of
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neutrality. And when you use Helvetica for anything, nobody ever says, "My God, you're
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so clever. You found this amazing font that I never heard of." It's a very plain font.
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And I think when they first unveiled the iPhone, I remember people complained about it. That,
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"Wow, what an uninspiring choice, Helvetica."
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I think Swift is that kind of programming language where there's no real amazing complicated--
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>> It's got weird serifs, though. Like, it is--I think Swift has pointy edges. I think
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the more you look into it, the more you see some strain. It's kind of more of a mongrel.
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It's like Helvetica, but occasionally, like, they have, like, dingbats in the middle of
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a cup of something.
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>> Right. It's like Helvetica and they've added a couple of Apple-specific emojis right to
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the main character set. So you, Marco, you haven't looked at it yet.
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Well, you know, I think it's not PHP, you know. I've looked at it, you know, for 10
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minutes. So, you know, none of us, well unless there's random Apple people here,
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although even they didn't use much of it yet, but none of us have really used it
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yet, you know. We're not going to know whether it's a good language or not for
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a while. You know, it's good because it takes, you have to almost master a language to really
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know whether it's good or not. And usually most languages aren't, you know, categorically
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good or bad. There's, you know, pluses and minuses. So I think right now you can look
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at it the same way that when a whole rush of programmers came to iOS for the first time
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to make apps for the App Store and the big gold rush, everyone looked at Objective-C and
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was like, "What a weird language. There's all these brackets everywhere and what the
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the heck does that method definition, what's that weird syntax?
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And it looked weird and foreign to them, but the language is actually much better than that once you get used to it.
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So with Swift,
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I think we're looking at it now and a lot of us are saying this is amazing,
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but it might actually end up being worse than we think because we aren't familiar with it yet.
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It's probably going to be better than we think,
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but it's going to take just a while before any of us are familiar enough to really make that call.
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I think it has the same effect as like the new look for like iOS 7 or Yosemite.
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I was saying this back there, when they put Objective-C up on the slides now, after you've
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seen Swift for a while, you can't go back to look at the old...
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I mean, whether it's better or not, it's such a huge leap over Objective-C in terms of capabilities
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and compactness and expressiveness that it's really hard to go back and look at Objective-C
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examples 'cause you see all this noise that's not there in Swift.
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And I don't think we'll ever be able to go back.
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No matter how Swift ends up, maybe it has terrible warts or real design problems or
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whatever, it's clear that Apple's committed to it and we're going to be using it.
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Well, you guys are.
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>> It's also kind of weird that it kind of came out as this fully formed idea.
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And they mentioned they're going to revise it slightly over time with our feedback, but
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it came out of nowhere and all of a sudden it's boom, this pretty advanced language with
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tons of capabilities out of the blue.
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like fully designed within this little you know subset this very small subset
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of Apple fully designed here this is our language period yeah it came out and it
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not only wasn't leaked it or rumored it wasn't even on people's wish list like
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you know there was one of us really I don't think any of us expected this
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would come out this year at all. I mean, many of us, myself included, didn't expect Objective-C
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to be replaced for the next decade.
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And you mentioned this specifically, that it's Tuesday. We've only known about it for
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36 hours or so. You're not going to say, "Hey, when I rewrite the overcast download manager
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for the fifth time, I'm going to use Swift."
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But it does seem like, it seems like one of the ways that I think it, I would bet heavily
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on it working out and very quickly, you know like in a way like that whatever you thought
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about the iOS 7 look when it first came out, whether you loved it right away or you hate
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it or whatever, I think you're in to the, you know, to the week.
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When you look back at the old iOS, it's like, ooh, you know, it really looks bad.
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It looks old.
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And I think that it's not going to take long before Objective-C takes on that look of,
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"Oh my God."
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We're already there, I think.
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Oh, absolutely.
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I mean, and during the presentations, they'll flip back and forth between slides in Objective-C
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and slides in Swift.
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And just like John said, the moment you get back to Objective-C, it's like, "Well, that
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feels cushy and familiar, but ooh, that..."
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It's like an old girlfriend or boyfriend, right?
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You know, it's like at the time, that was...
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I really liked him or her, but now, 10, 15 years on, ooh, they didn't do too well after
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There's a...
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Two ways that I think that it's gonna get uptake quickly is one is that they're...
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They still have all the same frameworks. The frameworks are the same.
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It's a new language on top of the frameworks. So they're not saying
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"We've introduced this new thing and it's all new and it's the next generation thing and you kinda have to go all in at once."
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once and oh and we've only done this much of it so far. It's already all of the
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frameworks and I think that's huge and it means that you can think about
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starting to use it right away and then I think the other thing is the way that
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they're really encouraging and emphasizing at least that I've seen so
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far just in the first day that you can start taking existing apps and just
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rewrite one class using Swift and you know just go like that or just start
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adding your new you know new features in Swift and keep the old stuff you don't
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have to rewrite the whole app. You don't have to have a Swift app or an Objective-C app.
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They're just Cocoa apps and parts are written in Objective-C and parts are written in Swift.
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We saw this before with Arc. What was it, two years ago, something like that? It was
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a similar situation where, look at this really new cool thing and you can use it selectively
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here and there, but clearly it's in everyone's best interest. It's in Apple's best interest.
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It's in our best interest to embrace this and really run with it. And so it's a very
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similar tact as to what happened with R.
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I'm also pretty confident that, you know, if you think about,
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I think the chances of this being a very good language are very high,
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because Objective-C is a very good language,
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in a lot of ways. I'm a big fan of it.
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Probably just because I know it. I like PHP. But that's, we all know, you know.
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But if you think about the amount of thought and criticism
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that must have come to this language during its development,
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from the people at Apple who decide what programming language they use.
00:16:34
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Those people are probably not only very smart, but also extremely critical
00:16:39
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and careful when making a change like this.
00:16:42
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And so I think it's very, very likely to end up being a very good language
00:16:46
◼
►
because of how it came to be.
00:16:48
◼
►
But what about the small, we were talking about this backstage too,
00:16:50
◼
►
what about the small group of people that have seen this?
00:16:52
◼
►
Because it has been so secret and some Apple, some groups inside Apple
00:16:55
◼
►
have been looking at it, but like, I think, I don't know if you can test that out
00:16:58
◼
►
of these developers here in the audience, I'm presuming,
00:17:01
◼
►
like when they showed you dot dot and dot dot dot
00:17:03
◼
►
and explained how they were different,
00:17:05
◼
►
didn't you all like-- - Yeah, what the hell is that?
00:17:06
◼
►
- Right after this live where they told you
00:17:08
◼
►
about how they don't have fall throughs
00:17:09
◼
►
on the case statements and require brackets on the ifs,
00:17:12
◼
►
but then we made our own mistake
00:17:13
◼
►
that you're gonna regret 20 years from now.
00:17:15
◼
►
We made two different operators that differ by a period
00:17:17
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►
that behave differently to make off by one errors.
00:17:20
◼
►
I don't think that would have survived
00:17:22
◼
►
like contact with the outside world.
00:17:24
◼
►
And so it shows that the group that they have inside Apple,
00:17:27
◼
►
I'm not saying it's like insular, but they have to keep it secret for four years.
00:17:31
◼
►
Alright, time out. I'll explain.
00:17:35
◼
►
It's called a range operator.
00:17:37
◼
►
Yeah, but there's thousands of people out there
00:17:39
◼
►
listening to the show later. I'm talking to them.
00:17:44
◼
►
So there's something called a range operator,
00:17:46
◼
►
and you can write, like the digit, 1,
00:17:48
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►
dot, dot, dot,
00:17:50
◼
►
5, and that returns
00:17:52
◼
►
an array of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
00:17:55
◼
►
or five. It fills it in with, it knows if it are integers, it knows that the ones in
00:18:00
◼
►
the middle are the dot dot dot. It makes sense.
00:18:04
◼
►
>> Explain counting to the audience. Good job.
00:18:06
◼
►
>> But if, if you only use two dots, if you do one dot dot five, it doesn't return the
00:18:14
◼
►
last item. It returns one, two, three, four. The missing dot means don't give me the last
00:18:20
◼
►
one. And so it, it makes total sense to a Perl programmer.
00:18:24
◼
►
No, I think you said it the opposite. Isn't two dots includes both endpoints and three dots doesn't include the last one?
00:18:29
◼
►
I forget what it is. No, more dots includes more.
00:18:31
◼
►
Anyway, I didn't come up with a mnemonic for it. Pearl uses just two dots and it's a range operator.
00:18:38
◼
►
It's also a flip-flop and scalar context, but don't worry about it.
00:18:41
◼
►
But yeah, but like no, that's that's the type of mistake that makes me wonder about
00:18:46
◼
►
about it. And again, they said that we reserve the right to change the syntax. We hope we'll get feedback.
00:18:51
◼
►
so it's not a big deal, but like, you know, that being secret for four years is gonna have effects.
00:18:55
◼
►
It really says something, this feature is so bad, it's not even in PHP.
00:18:59
◼
►
It's not in PHP yet, give them time.
00:19:02
◼
►
I do think, and you know, a
00:19:06
◼
►
programming language is no different in broad aspects from anything, even something visual, and it, I think Apple runs into this time and time again
00:19:14
◼
►
with the secrecy and
00:19:16
◼
►
the way you keep stuff secret is by keeping it a small team and not going outside the team.
00:19:21
◼
►
And then the smaller the team, the more likely that there's some sort of blind spot on the team.
00:19:26
◼
►
And whenever we see a major new initiative, I think iOS 7 is a good example.
00:19:31
◼
►
And that probably wasn't a super tightly held secret within the company,
00:19:34
◼
►
but it was secret enough that there weren't screenshots that leaked.
00:19:37
◼
►
And what they showed us a year ago at WWDC had a couple of really glaring, like,
00:19:45
◼
►
really? You're gonna go that thin on the font for mail that I can't see it?
00:19:50
◼
►
It's not so much a blind spot as that the group that's doing it has a hierarchy.
00:19:54
◼
►
And so even if there's feedback within the group that we think this is a bad idea,
00:19:58
◼
►
if enough people in charge don't think it is, they overweigh the masses.
00:20:01
◼
►
Whereas when you put it out to the public, then it's, you know,
00:20:04
◼
►
however many million iOS programmers out there sending feedback.
00:20:07
◼
►
And that is like, alright, well we can't, there's no hierarchy among them.
00:20:10
◼
►
It's just, you know, that's the public telling us.
00:20:12
◼
►
Oh, there is.
00:20:13
◼
►
It's not as straightforward as reporting relationships inside Apple corporate.
00:20:19
◼
►
>> So one of the other things I took away from the keynote yesterday is -- and I think
00:20:22
◼
►
it's -- I don't see how anybody could deny it. I think it was a year ago at the all things
00:20:28
◼
►
D conference. Now it's the recode conference. But I think that's when Tim Cook said that
00:20:32
◼
►
he was going to -- Apple was going to double down on secrecy. I think the question was
00:20:36
◼
►
posed to him along the lines of, hey, you guys are so famously secretive, but you've
00:20:39
◼
►
had some leaks. Are you guys going to open up some more? And he was like, no, no, we're
00:20:42
◼
►
We're going to double down on secrecy.
00:20:44
◼
►
We're more committed to it than ever.
00:20:45
◼
►
We think our customers like to have a surprise.
00:20:48
◼
►
And we think competitively it's to our advantages.
00:20:50
◼
►
And then other stuff leaks, mostly hardware.
00:20:53
◼
►
And everybody laughs at it.
00:20:54
◼
►
It's like, aha, Tim Cook says they're doubling down on secrecy.
00:20:57
◼
►
But look at all the stuff that leaks.
00:21:00
◼
►
I think it's very clear.
00:21:01
◼
►
At least there might be some exception somewhere that I'm thinking.
00:21:05
◼
►
But in general terms, the only stuff that leaks from Apple recently
00:21:09
◼
►
is hardware from the supply chain in Asia.
00:21:13
◼
►
That it just seems like there's too many places there
00:21:16
◼
►
where there's factories and bribes
00:21:18
◼
►
and too many people who are seeing
00:21:20
◼
►
these prototype shells coming out
00:21:23
◼
►
and too much money from the case,
00:21:25
◼
►
the people who make the cases to put on the phone
00:21:27
◼
►
who want them and are willing to pay
00:21:29
◼
►
tens of thousands of dollars to get them
00:21:31
◼
►
so that they can have their case ready
00:21:32
◼
►
before their competitors.
00:21:34
◼
►
But in terms of stuff that just happens at Apple's campus,
00:21:38
◼
►
the secrecy I think is better than ever. Especially you know the whole
00:21:42
◼
►
programming language, the screenshots like Yosemite, I mean everybody had
00:21:46
◼
►
guesses what it was going to look like but to my knowledge not a single actual
00:21:50
◼
►
screenshot leaked.
00:21:51
◼
►
Yeah I mean that's that one of the most impressive parts about the keynote is
00:21:55
◼
►
how much stuff blew our minds
00:21:58
◼
►
not only because it was major but because we didn't see it coming.
00:22:01
◼
►
You know and like you know Yosemite is a great example. You know it even like a
00:22:06
◼
►
a week ago, two weeks ago, you were predicting that they would have problems with how to
00:22:10
◼
►
deal with window shadows in a new flattened environment because we were all predicting
00:22:14
◼
►
oh, iOS 7 was a radical redesign and so therefore this is going to be a radical redesign and
00:22:21
◼
►
it's going to look nothing like it did before and it turns out it looks a lot like it did
00:22:23
◼
►
before. It's an evolution of the design and it's a bigger step than they usually take
00:22:31
◼
►
in one revision, but you could see them like making small steps over the next four releases
00:22:36
◼
►
getting where it is anyway. And so all these crazy predictions that we had that it would
00:22:41
◼
►
look crazy, just totally unfamiliar, totally different, everything's all flattened with
00:22:47
◼
►
thin lines, that didn't come to be. And what they gave us is something that honestly just
00:22:53
◼
►
makes a lot more sense.
00:22:54
◼
►
Yeah, it doesn't look like iOS, it looks related to iOS.
00:22:59
◼
►
You know, like siblings who don't even look that much alike, but they kind of look clearly like siblings.
00:23:04
◼
►
It's definitely not like iOS running on the iPad, which is what I was kind of worried about.
00:23:09
◼
►
Yeah, oh yeah, I think we were all probably worried about that.
00:23:11
◼
►
And I think when they were about to show it, I think we were all probably like,
00:23:15
◼
►
"Here we go, they're going to kill our beloved Mac, it's going to be really weird,
00:23:19
◼
►
and I guess we'll eventually get used to it."
00:23:21
◼
►
but we didn't have to do that. It turns out it's fine.
00:23:24
◼
►
What about the icons?
00:23:28
◼
►
Because that to me is the one thing that everybody loves to gripe about.
00:23:31
◼
►
And in iOS 7, I would say like, at this time a year ago,
00:23:34
◼
►
I would say 80% of what I was hearing was about how fucking ugly the iOS 7 icons were.
00:23:39
◼
►
And it's like, alright, let's just even concede the point that these icons are ugly.
00:23:43
◼
►
The whole OS was redesigned. Can we talk about something else?
00:23:46
◼
►
And I feel like with the Mac OS X, they didn't go to a unified shape,
00:23:50
◼
►
which is what I kind of thought they were gonna do because it just seemed I didn't know if it would be the same as
00:23:54
◼
►
iOS or if it would be a circle, but I kind of thought they would because it seemed like
00:23:58
◼
►
That's the direction they were going, but they didn't it's you know
00:24:01
◼
►
They're just a little bit more iOS II but not really they did three shapes, right? Yeah, it was three
00:24:06
◼
►
It's like the it's circular and then like a tilted rectangle right and then and then a rounded rect or something along those lines
00:24:13
◼
►
Yeah, and I actually really like them. I don't know if it's like shiny then
00:24:16
◼
►
I'm just excited about something new but I actually really like them
00:24:19
◼
►
I don't like them as much as John likes the settings icon, which is a lot.
00:24:23
◼
►
But I do like them overall.
00:24:27
◼
►
Yeah, and I think it's, if you look at what we have today
00:24:31
◼
►
and previous to Yosemite, it was looking a little bit dated.
00:24:35
◼
►
When you have a dock full of all these icons that are all radically different shapes and some of them
00:24:39
◼
►
haven't been updated in a decade, it does kind of look dated.
00:24:43
◼
►
And I think this is a nice way to modernize it without being
00:24:47
◼
►
restrictive to iOS and maybe the reason why we got these this flexibility of
00:24:53
◼
►
having three shapes to choose from which for Apple is flexibility
00:24:56
◼
►
I maybe I know is that actually like they like the they're recommending you
00:25:01
◼
►
choose one of those is the recommendation people still get it's
00:25:04
◼
►
like iOS people still gonna do whatever they want with their icon right but
00:25:06
◼
►
they've officially said though that these are the three shapes you should
00:25:09
◼
►
choose from I didn't know that even Apple you'll be like are they gonna
00:25:12
◼
►
update font book to be looked at that one of the new icons like so there's
00:25:15
◼
►
always some app that doesn't get the nice treatment. I didn't know that. Well and I
00:25:18
◼
►
think that I think that's why we got these options because I bet even Apple
00:25:22
◼
►
internally could not decide on any of these shapes to have all of their icons
00:25:26
◼
►
become that shape. So we got choice. Well the one thing I'm also very excited
00:25:31
◼
►
about is perhaps the sea of blue icons on my dock at least they'll be like a
00:25:35
◼
►
circular blue icon and a tilted blue icon and then a square blue icon. I think
00:25:39
◼
►
I think I'll get some orange now.
00:25:41
◼
►
iTunes is red.
00:25:45
◼
►
Do you think it's safe to say, and we can poll the audience in a second,
00:25:47
◼
►
but do you think it's safe to say that
00:25:49
◼
►
the Yosemite design
00:25:53
◼
►
contentious than iOS 7?
00:25:55
◼
►
Only because iOS 7 came first though.
00:25:57
◼
►
If this came before iOS 7, we'd be flipping out.
00:25:59
◼
►
Because we wouldn't know that taking
00:26:01
◼
►
borders off the buttons was even an option if iOS 7
00:26:03
◼
►
didn't come first. Now we're like, thank god the buttons have
00:26:05
◼
►
boxes around them, everything's fine.
00:26:07
◼
►
(audience laughing)
00:26:10
◼
►
- That's honestly my, I think I texted Dave Whiskus
00:26:13
◼
►
afterwards where we were talking about, you know,
00:26:14
◼
►
how we're gonna do Vespyr for Mac,
00:26:15
◼
►
and like, I just like all capped it.
00:26:17
◼
►
I was like, buttons look like buttons.
00:26:20
◼
►
I have it, I have a review unit for the Apple,
00:26:27
◼
►
so it gave me running 10.8 already,
00:26:30
◼
►
so I've spent a couple hours on it today,
00:26:31
◼
►
and you do too, but you guys haven't really,
00:26:35
◼
►
I mean, it's only one day,
00:26:36
◼
►
you guys haven't installed it yet?
00:26:37
◼
►
care about the Mac. Only half of us get press passes. You just have a Mac just to open up
00:26:41
◼
►
Xcode, right? I mean I haven't sold Xcode 6 which looks good. I played with the playground
00:26:46
◼
►
stuff for Swift and that looks really awesome but the only stuff on Yosemite I've seen is
00:26:51
◼
►
watching over John's shoulder as he was fiddling with it earlier today. We're not special enough
00:26:55
◼
►
to get review units so. You know just poking around and going through settings and stuff,
00:27:00
◼
►
I'm surprised, maybe even in a good way, I think in a good way, that it's really is mostly
00:27:08
◼
►
a skin deep change. It's really just a new theme and very little else has changed. Even
00:27:14
◼
►
little things that I really thought were going to go away, like the blue or graphite highlight
00:27:21
◼
►
color choice thing, which, you know, I know why they did it back in 2001. It was because
00:27:27
◼
►
everybody flipped out because my god bright blue you know I don't like bright
00:27:31
◼
►
blue and they're like all right here you go here's something dull which I've been
00:27:34
◼
►
running for 14 years but that option is still there exactly the wording is
00:27:40
◼
►
unchanged the you know I think what you were all afraid of is that was gonna be
00:27:44
◼
►
like Windows 8 where like finders gone all it is is a big sidebar that sweeps
00:27:47
◼
►
in from the side that has a grid of icon or launchpad is the new finder or system
00:27:51
◼
►
preferences now is a full screen app and the icons are giant like it's not it's
00:27:54
◼
►
just like you said a recent then there's an awful lot of apps that to me just
00:27:58
◼
►
look just just the theme is different everything else is pretty much the same
00:28:02
◼
►
there's you know a lot of apps that are just unchanged and I I'm pretty happy
00:28:07
◼
►
about that and the new look at like when I saw on the slides you're like I'm not
00:28:10
◼
►
sure about it or whatever but when you see it when you see it in the element
00:28:13
◼
►
like like look in the new Safari when it all kind of comes together you're like
00:28:16
◼
►
all right it's coherent it is all of a piece whether you like it or not it
00:28:20
◼
►
doesn't look like something slapped together you can kind of see a
00:28:23
◼
►
a continuous aesthetic on it, which is nice.
00:28:26
◼
►
I mean, apps that have not been completely converted,
00:28:28
◼
►
like if you just take your app that had never knew Yosemite
00:28:30
◼
►
existed and launch it, maybe that'll look odd.
00:28:32
◼
►
But Apple's own apps are leading the way
00:28:34
◼
►
in a reasonable way of saying, this
00:28:36
◼
►
is what they could look like, check it out.
00:28:38
◼
►
Their apps are simple.
00:28:39
◼
►
They have one title bar, one sidebar, and a source list
00:28:41
◼
►
or whatever.
00:28:42
◼
►
I don't know what Photoshop would look like,
00:28:44
◼
►
not that they use native UI.
00:28:46
◼
►
Yeah, and I think when I've seen the screenshots
00:28:48
◼
►
and little demos using it here and there,
00:28:51
◼
►
the most jarring change to me is the font change, which we were all, you know, like
00:28:56
◼
►
we've been saying, we've been thinking for a long time, oh, well, they're probably going
00:29:00
◼
►
to change the font, it's probably going to be a Helvetica variant, we're going to have
00:29:03
◼
►
to deal with that along with as they blow up the rest of the interface, you know, and
00:29:07
◼
►
that ends up, that's like the biggest, most noticeable change most of the time.
00:29:11
◼
►
I also think that it looks natural on a retina display, now maybe that's because that's the
00:29:16
◼
►
review unit that gave me is a retina MacBook Pro, so that's what I've seen it on, but I've
00:29:21
◼
►
never thought that Mac OS X looked quite right on a retina display until now
00:29:24
◼
►
because it just always looked to me fake like a fake version of Mac OS X ginned
00:29:29
◼
►
up for a movie. Yeah it's like when you have an HD version of movie you can see
00:29:33
◼
►
the actors makeup. Right, yeah that's what it always looked like to me it's like
00:29:36
◼
►
and and part of it is the font but lucid a grand whatever you know however great
00:29:40
◼
►
it was in 2001 2002 with our big fat pixels on CRT displays back then and the
00:29:47
◼
►
way that all the hinting helped the strokes fall on the pixel grid. We don't
00:29:52
◼
►
need to worry about that shit anymore. I mean we have retina displays and nobody
00:29:55
◼
►
at doing 300 dpi print output would ever use Lucida Grant. The thing about the old
00:30:02
◼
►
look was that all the interest was in the surface details. This looks like it's
00:30:05
◼
►
kind of made out of metal and this looks like it's kind of shiny or whatever and
00:30:08
◼
►
when you take all that away and they did take it all away with the flatness and
00:30:11
◼
►
everything, the only thing you have left to lean on aesthetically speaking is
00:30:15
◼
►
sharpness and so this looks great on a, I think it doesn't look as good on a
00:30:19
◼
►
non-retin display. On a retina display it's like what we have here is cleanliness,
00:30:22
◼
►
sharpness and this theme takes advantage of that and I think this this theme
00:30:26
◼
►
would not be as successful if retina didn't exist. Oh I definitely think so. I
00:30:30
◼
►
don't think you know I know way that this theme would look and I don't think
00:30:35
◼
►
iOS would either you know I don't think there was any world where the iOS 7 look
00:30:39
◼
►
would have ever hit before those devices all went retina. Except for the poor iPad
00:30:45
◼
►
mini first gen that's a sad device that really is because we all bought them
00:30:49
◼
►
because they were so small and so light and it's man this screen and now that
00:30:54
◼
►
the retina ones exist and you look at that like first of all like how long are
00:30:57
◼
►
they gonna actually keep supporting the a5 like you know we lucked out this year
00:31:01
◼
►
but now it's now the minimum so I'm thinking it's not getting iOS 9 Apple PR
00:31:08
◼
►
will never they're all everybody works there's you know a pro and they'll never
00:31:12
◼
►
ever utter, even off the record, a single word that is against Apple's interests. Because
00:31:18
◼
►
they're PR people. That's what they do. And I remember at WWDC last year after the keynote,
00:31:23
◼
►
when I got the briefing and the, you know, what do you think about iOS 7 and do you have
00:31:26
◼
►
any questions? I got to ask questions. And one of my questions was, everything you're
00:31:30
◼
►
showing -- this all looks great. I really like it. I think it's a great direction. But
00:31:33
◼
►
every device you're showing it to me on is a retina display. What about the iPad mini?
00:31:37
◼
►
Is it going to get the same look? And they're like, yeah, yeah. And I was like, can I see
00:31:41
◼
►
and they were like, "Not yet."
00:31:43
◼
►
And I was like, "Is it gonna look good?"
00:31:46
◼
►
And there was like no answer. It was like, "Yeah! Yeah, it looks fine."
00:31:51
◼
►
And then there was like, you know, somebody was there already with like another question like, you know,
00:31:56
◼
►
"How's your son?"
00:31:58
◼
►
And they're still selling those new.
00:32:01
◼
►
Like, there's gonna be a lot of disappointed retina, I mean, non-retina iPad mini owners in about a year, you know,
00:32:08
◼
►
know like I hope this fall they at least stop selling them and then you know next
00:32:12
◼
►
year iOS 9 announced no more a5 devices there's a lot of a5 devices out there
00:32:17
◼
►
yeah totally the other the last big ticket thing is that to me it was the
00:32:24
◼
►
keynote yesterday was a sign of how Apple is playing a very long game in
00:32:29
◼
►
most of these regards and I think that they've got a years-long roadmap and
00:32:36
◼
►
and plan and we only see them on these four month, six month intervals of here's what
00:32:43
◼
►
we have ready for you now. And it's so easy and I think so many people who misunderstand
00:32:48
◼
►
the company think that in between one and the next everything they've done is what they've
00:32:53
◼
►
done in between the next. That everything they announced today is all the stuff that
00:32:57
◼
►
they've decided to do in the last 12 months since last WWDC. And so you see it like you
00:33:02
◼
►
You see it with the keyboards on the third party keyboards for iOS.
00:33:08
◼
►
And there were questions, people in the press area after the thing,
00:33:11
◼
►
they're asking, well, what made you change your mind on these?
00:33:15
◼
►
Is it because they're so popular on Android?
00:33:17
◼
►
Is it customers are asking for it?
00:33:19
◼
►
And we've been working on this for years.
00:33:23
◼
►
And you can argue maybe engineering-wise it shouldn't have taken years,
00:33:25
◼
►
but their explanation is that they've been thinking about it for a long time.
00:33:29
◼
►
I mean, we've been talking about XPC at WWDCs for years of inter-application communication,
00:33:37
◼
►
and how are they going to do it?
00:33:38
◼
►
And I think that, you know, typical Apple, they wanted to get it right.
00:33:42
◼
►
And that's just a sign of it.
00:33:43
◼
►
>> People have short memories, though.
00:33:44
◼
►
Like, wasn't it last year's WWDC where third-party keyboards was, like, guaranteed a lock for
00:33:48
◼
►
the keynote?
00:33:49
◼
►
Remember that rumor?
00:33:50
◼
►
>> Yeah, Swipe even published it on their site.
00:33:54
◼
►
Well, I mean, and, you know, the press, to be fair, you know, the press usually, most
00:33:57
◼
►
of them aren't as smart as you.
00:33:58
◼
►
of them, you know, we asked them to remember a lot. You know, in this business, we asked
00:34:06
◼
►
them to remember a lot. Like, can you name the whatever phone 12 months ago was the iPhone
00:34:13
◼
►
killer that month? There's a lot going on in the press. Apple keeps dying and being
00:34:19
◼
►
doomed and, you know, and they just can't remember simple things like that, you know,
00:34:25
◼
►
products take more than a year to develop. The one thing they announced
00:34:29
◼
►
yesterday that I that it makes me wonder whether they've changed their mind over
00:34:35
◼
►
the last few years is iCloud Drive because it it seemed to me that and
00:34:42
◼
►
maybe that was just the spin at the time before they had the fun function but it
00:34:46
◼
►
seemed to me that there are an awful lot of people who were saying okay with the
00:34:51
◼
►
iCloud documents, why can't you build something that is just like Dropbox?
00:34:55
◼
►
Right? Long story short, just build a thing that's just like Dropbox but takes
00:34:59
◼
►
my iCloud credentials and then it's, you know, it's not like a nasty finder hack,
00:35:02
◼
►
it's built into the system. And their answer was, you know, I don't know, no.
00:35:09
◼
►
Maybe, you know, again, maybe who knows, maybe who even knows who's in the
00:35:13
◼
►
audience? There's some poor guy from Apple in the audience who's been working
00:35:16
◼
►
on iCloud Drive for six years and, you know, non-stop with the original vision
00:35:21
◼
►
that is exactly like what they announced yesterday but I don't know it makes me
00:35:24
◼
►
think that maybe they thought they could get away with not having a here's where
00:35:29
◼
►
you're going to save your files experience on iOS and maybe they've come
00:35:33
◼
►
to conclude that that was wrong or short-sighted yeah you know when I first
00:35:38
◼
►
when I first launched the magazine I tried not having a settings panel so I
00:35:43
◼
►
was like you know settings panels are a clunky hack let me see if I can just get
00:35:47
◼
►
away with not having any settings at all I'll just make good decisions and I'll
00:35:50
◼
►
surface things contextually. And it turned out that that was a bad idea.
00:35:54
◼
►
It required me to do other bad hacks that made the overall
00:35:58
◼
►
product actually worse and I had to eventually backtrack on that.
00:36:02
◼
►
iCloud document model storage and iCloud file storage
00:36:06
◼
►
I think had a similar problem where they designed it with this goal
00:36:10
◼
►
in mind of let's get rid of files and folders exposed to the user
00:36:14
◼
►
and let's make this thing just sync and it helped that iOS never had that
00:36:18
◼
►
from the start. So let's just give these little silos inside of each app and
00:36:23
◼
►
they'll all have these flat lists of files in that app and they won't be able
00:36:27
◼
►
to talk to each other and that'll be fine. That's kind of how iOS works. And
00:36:30
◼
►
then they brought it to Mac and it was like well they're kind of in this hidden
00:36:34
◼
►
folder buried somewhere deeply in the hierarchy that you're not supposed to
00:36:37
◼
►
deal with but just trust us it's there somewhere plus you have all these other
00:36:39
◼
►
files somewhere. And I think that proved to be a model that they they had this
00:36:44
◼
►
goal in mind of the simplicity but the reality of that, the practicality of people using
00:36:52
◼
►
that and you know multiple app productivity and simple things like where are these files
00:36:57
◼
►
so I can back them up.
00:36:59
◼
►
Simple things like that, the reality made that idea worse in practice and they would
00:37:04
◼
►
have had to do a bunch of crazy hacks, they tried, to do a bunch of crazy hacks to make
00:37:09
◼
►
it work out that actually made a worse overall experience.
00:37:13
◼
►
So I think this is them recognizing, you know what, one common place where you store files
00:37:18
◼
►
that behaves like a folder full of other folders, people are okay with that.
00:37:23
◼
►
You know, give people a little bit of credit, that folder might not be where you want it
00:37:27
◼
►
to be, it might be their desktop, but people do that.
00:37:30
◼
►
They are okay with having all files live in one place for all applications with these
00:37:34
◼
►
little subfolders maybe for some applications.
00:37:37
◼
►
That's a model that works.
00:37:38
◼
►
has proven it, computers before that proved it, people are okay with that. And I think
00:37:43
◼
►
this is Apple realizing like if we're going to start breaking down some of these productivity
00:37:47
◼
►
barriers between iOS and Mac and everything like that and interactive communications,
00:37:51
◼
►
this is, this will go a long way if we just give up a little bit of our vision about what
00:37:56
◼
►
iCloud was supposed to be.
00:37:58
◼
►
So are you at all nervous, John, about the fact that they are putting a lot of eggs in
00:38:02
◼
►
the iCloud basket? And I know it's almost trendy to bitch and moan about how iCloud
00:38:06
◼
►
doesn't work the way they say it should and so on.
00:38:09
◼
►
But I mean, it seems to me like they're going all in on iCloud.
00:38:14
◼
►
And that could be dangerous.
00:38:16
◼
►
Like how do you feel about that?
00:38:17
◼
►
Well, dangerous how?
00:38:18
◼
►
Just because we-- especially as developers, a lot of us
00:38:21
◼
►
don't have any faith in the fact that iCloud is really strong,
00:38:24
◼
►
stable, available, et cetera.
00:38:27
◼
►
And so now Apple is saying, no, really.
00:38:30
◼
►
We are all in on iCloud.
00:38:32
◼
►
So you guys are-- you might as well come along.
00:38:33
◼
►
And I didn't go to the Cloud Kit session today.
00:38:35
◼
►
but I've heard unbelievably positive things about it.
00:38:38
◼
►
So do you have, like how does that make you feel?
00:38:41
◼
►
Are you nervous at all?
00:38:42
◼
►
Or are you like, yeah, it'll be fine?
00:38:43
◼
►
- I think it's inevitable.
00:38:44
◼
►
I don't think they have a choice.
00:38:45
◼
►
I think that, and again, I might be reading into this,
00:38:49
◼
►
John, you might know, 'cause you were actually
00:38:50
◼
►
at the conference all day and not sleeping.
00:38:53
◼
►
But it seems like they're not doing away with it,
00:38:57
◼
►
because if you're already using it,
00:38:58
◼
►
they're gonna keep counting.
00:38:59
◼
►
But it seems like the thing that they're no longer
00:39:01
◼
►
talking about is iCloud Core Data Syncing.
00:39:03
◼
►
- Yeah, they're still talking about it.
00:39:04
◼
►
at the end of the CloudKit session,
00:39:06
◼
►
they were like, we got all these iCloud things.
00:39:08
◼
►
When should I use each one?
00:39:09
◼
►
Remember them all, key value storage,
00:39:11
◼
►
and the documents in the cloud,
00:39:12
◼
►
and iCloud Core Data, and now CloudKit.
00:39:15
◼
►
And they went through them all and said,
00:39:16
◼
►
here's when you should use this.
00:39:17
◼
►
When they get down to iCloud Core Data,
00:39:18
◼
►
they're gonna say never, but they didn't.
00:39:20
◼
►
I mean, they put a brave face on it,
00:39:22
◼
►
but CloudKit does a lot of similar things to iCloud,
00:39:25
◼
►
in a different way to iCloud Core Data.
00:39:26
◼
►
So I'm not sure, they didn't come right out and say,
00:39:28
◼
►
we're deprecating the ways it didn't work,
00:39:30
◼
►
and this is the new way, but they have a suite of things
00:39:33
◼
►
under the umbrella of iCloud and some of them are better than others and we're
00:39:36
◼
►
all hoping these new ones are the best yet we'll find out. Right you know I
00:39:41
◼
►
think I think they'll make it work because I think that they know I don't
00:39:44
◼
►
think there's any doubt that they know that they have to do well at it I think
00:39:48
◼
►
the things you have to worry about with Apple are the things where it seems like
00:39:50
◼
►
they don't they don't seem to think it's important. Well they committed to iCloud
00:39:55
◼
►
the first time when Jobs was up there and said oh it's not along a digital hub
00:39:58
◼
►
now the cloud is in the middle of lines come out from that and that seemed like
00:40:01
◼
►
a recommitment to it but what they offered was some good, some bad. I'm getting a better
00:40:06
◼
►
vibe from the new stuff because it seems like all the things that you like that worked well
00:40:10
◼
►
about iCloud, these are more like those. Or in the case of CloudKit, this is more like
00:40:15
◼
►
what everyone was doing instead of using iCloud core data. They were forced to do their own
00:40:18
◼
►
thing and they would use SQLite database with like FC model or FMDB or whatever. This is
00:40:23
◼
►
like that but with an Apple twist and really awesome and everything.
00:40:27
◼
►
that's actually pretty similar like the what happened between core data plus
00:40:30
◼
►
iCloud and now the new cloud kit is actually very similar I was just saying
00:40:34
◼
►
about like how like their original view or their original vision of this is how
00:40:39
◼
►
we're gonna do iCloud it's gonna have this magical sink you just keep using
00:40:42
◼
►
core data everything's you keep using as normal and it just magically sinks and
00:40:46
◼
►
of course that that wasn't a server problem that was a design problem well
00:40:51
◼
►
the core data predated iCloud that was the problem so what we have this one
00:40:53
◼
►
called core data it would be great to put up a slide that says then it works
00:40:56
◼
►
on iCloud and then everything will be fine. That was basically and they
00:40:59
◼
►
basically that's what they when they announce core data for iCloud that's
00:41:01
◼
►
what they did and so I think cloud kit is them again it's like it's similar to
00:41:06
◼
►
how they kind of made iCloud file picking a little more like Dropbox
00:41:10
◼
►
because that's what people actually need and it's a it's a better overall design
00:41:13
◼
►
in reality. I think cloud kit is solving many of the same needs as iCloud core
00:41:19
◼
►
data but it is a much better design for reality. The one thing and and you know
00:41:24
◼
►
no surprise. I mean everybody knows Apple is an ecosystem company and that they want,
00:41:28
◼
►
you know, stuff is supposed to work better. And we don't have time to get into all the
00:41:32
◼
►
continuity stuff. But the continuity stuff is an acknowledgement of that. That if you
00:41:36
◼
►
have an iPhone and a Mac, you get this amazing feature that you could not have if you used
00:41:42
◼
►
an Android phone where you can start writing an email and switch to the Mac. And I played
00:41:47
◼
►
with that and I got a demo of it and it works. It's very, very cool. I can definitely see
00:41:53
◼
►
it but that they're adding all these other developer things though I think
00:41:58
◼
►
with the hopes of getting more apps to go Apple only you know like I think the
00:42:05
◼
►
idea would be like take an app like Instagram that had enormous server-side
00:42:10
◼
►
cost because it's photos and lots of users and they want to be social and they
00:42:13
◼
►
want to get a lot of people to sign up and I think that iCloud or a cloud kit
00:42:20
◼
►
it is sort of a, "Hey, you want to build a thing like Instagram, don't even worry about
00:42:25
◼
►
the server stuff and we'll give you really, really generous amounts of storage and bandwidth."
00:42:30
◼
►
Well, for getting it off the ground, right? And there's a big question mark. Like, they
00:42:35
◼
►
were like, "Here, it's free and you get all this for free." And then there was no, like,
00:42:39
◼
►
what happens after that. I think what happens is you get a phone call from Apple and they're
00:42:44
◼
►
like, "We need to talk." I'm guessing, though, it's going to be pretty price competitive.
00:42:48
◼
►
That's what I think.
00:42:49
◼
►
it's hard you know if you're looking at let's let's build a business on this you
00:42:53
◼
►
know let's talk about Vesper right so the limit that they published this in a
00:42:59
◼
►
public document so I don't know what the end the end a situation is weird it's
00:43:02
◼
►
kind of unspecified who knows but the limit is it's something like a hundred
00:43:06
◼
►
megs per user for like you know blob storage and then one meg for database
00:43:10
◼
►
storage now that those sound low to me like you couldn't it would be
00:43:16
◼
►
irresponsible for you to design something like Instagram knowing that as soon as
00:43:21
◼
►
one of those users hit a hundred megs of photos something would stop and who
00:43:27
◼
►
knows what your options would be at that point whether you'd even have any
00:43:31
◼
►
options or whether like the call to cloudkit would just fail with an error
00:43:35
◼
►
parameter it's it's a lot of stuff that suddenly be outside your control right
00:43:39
◼
►
and like that's kind of it's it would be irresponsible to build on that knowing
00:43:43
◼
►
that there's this wall that you could very,
00:43:46
◼
►
it's not like the limit is five terabytes per user.
00:43:48
◼
►
These are limits that are very plausibly hit and exceeded.
00:43:52
◼
►
And so what do you do?
00:43:55
◼
►
Do you just hope no one hits that?
00:43:56
◼
►
That's not very smart.
00:43:58
◼
►
- But like John said though,
00:44:00
◼
►
if you're gonna build any service like this,
00:44:02
◼
►
that's like a network-based service
00:44:03
◼
►
that has a cloud backend,
00:44:05
◼
►
you're gonna do it on an Apple-only platform?
00:44:08
◼
►
Are they the A players in the server-side space?
00:44:12
◼
►
And then you're going to-- because if you start getting
00:44:14
◼
►
big, you're going to be like, oh, we're getting big.
00:44:16
◼
►
We should make an Android version.
00:44:17
◼
►
We should be on the Kindle.
00:44:18
◼
►
We should-- oh.
00:44:20
◼
►
And you can't.
00:44:20
◼
►
Like, you're putting a cap on your potential.
00:44:22
◼
►
If you ever want to be the next Instagram,
00:44:24
◼
►
don't build on CloudKit.
00:44:25
◼
►
But it's great for people who are not
00:44:27
◼
►
going to be the next Instagram.
00:44:29
◼
►
They just want to have a great application.
00:44:30
◼
►
Like, I mean, again, with Vesper,
00:44:31
◼
►
if you built it on CloudKit, you're
00:44:33
◼
►
going to be an iOS on the Mac.
00:44:34
◼
►
You could use CloudKit.
00:44:35
◼
►
Who knows what we would have done a year ago if CloudKit
00:44:38
◼
►
came out a year ago.
00:44:39
◼
►
But I don't think we would have done anything differently.
00:44:41
◼
►
I haven't seen anything that really makes me regret doing our own back end because of
00:44:46
◼
►
Like, do we have plans to write an Android app?
00:44:49
◼
►
Well, I don't think Brent knows how to write Android apps, so no.
00:44:52
◼
►
>> Brent can do anything.
00:44:54
◼
►
>> But it's a maybe down the road, you know, or a web app.
00:44:56
◼
►
>> We can't even do a web app.
00:44:58
◼
►
We could do a web app.
00:44:59
◼
►
We couldn't even do a web app.
00:45:00
◼
►
And we want to have those options.
00:45:01
◼
►
And our thinking in broad strokes was, well, we could maybe do something quicker if we
00:45:05
◼
►
build it on Dropbox or, you know, had an option to do Dropbox or had an option to do something
00:45:11
◼
►
with the core data iCloud syncing and then we'd work on our own thing that we'd roll
00:45:15
◼
►
out. But what I think whenever you make an engineering decision like that and you think
00:45:20
◼
►
well we'll do this stopgap first because it's quicker and dirtier and easier and we'll
00:45:24
◼
►
ship something first and then we'll do the real good version then you never do the good
00:45:29
◼
►
version and you're stuck with the crappy one.
00:45:31
◼
►
Data migration would kill you anyway. Right. You would never want to do the good version.
00:45:34
◼
►
So if we wanted to do it eventually then we should have done it first and I think that
00:45:38
◼
►
we did it the right way. I think SpriteKit is the same sort of idea. The idea with SpriteKit,
00:45:42
◼
►
and it's a good one. It's not all about lock-in. It's not purely cynical. Hey, write your game
00:45:48
◼
►
with SpriteKit and you'll save all this work, but then you'll be stuck with an iOS-only
00:45:52
◼
►
game. I think it's, you know, from Apple's perspective, it's win-win. That's what Cocoa
00:45:58
◼
►
and Cocoa Dutch have done for close to 30 years is take tedium away from programmers
00:46:05
◼
►
and do a really good framework that you can count on.
00:46:09
◼
►
But I wonder, I don't know what the uptake is on SpriteKit
00:46:12
◼
►
because it just seems to me like most major effort
00:46:15
◼
►
mobile games, more than any other kind of app
00:46:19
◼
►
because of the nature of games, want to be cross platform
00:46:21
◼
►
or want to be cross platform eventually.
00:46:23
◼
►
And so I just don't know if SpriteKit's ever gonna
00:46:26
◼
►
really take off.
00:46:27
◼
►
- I think we're looking at this from the point of view of,
00:46:31
◼
►
I mean I'm looking at something like CloudKit
00:46:33
◼
►
and saying all right, well from the point of view
00:46:35
◼
►
wanting to design a really big web service that has gonna have you know the
00:46:40
◼
►
six-year lifespan and or more than that maybe and and you know possibly get to a
00:46:46
◼
►
billion dollar valuation somehow like that's yeah it might not be good for
00:46:51
◼
►
that but there's a massive class of problems that these kind of frameworks
00:46:54
◼
►
solve that are on a much smaller scale like most developers are not working on
00:46:58
◼
►
things like that most developers are working on much smaller apps that like
00:47:03
◼
►
if the alternative is no backend, then CloudKit is really nice, because it's a backend you can use for limited value,
00:47:10
◼
►
or for limited purposes, but that's enough for tons of applications.
00:47:15
◼
►
SpriteKit very similar, like, yeah, you're not going to make the next, you know, Rovio company on that,
00:47:22
◼
►
because you're not going to be able to address all these other platforms without hiring people to rewrite the engine
00:47:26
◼
►
for all of them, and eventually convert it to OpenGL or whatever, but that's not what it's made to solve.
00:47:31
◼
►
It's made to solve much smaller needs for a far larger
00:47:36
◼
►
number of developers.
00:47:37
◼
►
And once you exceed those limits for one of these things,
00:47:40
◼
►
then you're probably big enough that you can't
00:47:41
◼
►
afford to migrate.
00:47:43
◼
►
Yeah, so for those of you who have listened to ATP, I've
00:47:45
◼
►
talked on and off about how I really just want a really
00:47:47
◼
►
solid app to share a grocery list with my wife.
00:47:50
◼
►
And Reminders will do it, but it's crummy, and there's other
00:47:53
◼
►
apps out there.
00:47:54
◼
►
And for me, if I wanted to write something, I don't want
00:47:56
◼
►
to have to worry about VPSs.
00:47:58
◼
►
I don't have to worry about a lot of other things.
00:48:01
◼
►
And so something like CloudKit is perfect for this app
00:48:04
◼
►
that I want to write really to scratch my own itch.
00:48:06
◼
►
And if I'd make a few bucks off of it, sweet.
00:48:08
◼
►
But I'm never going to be a vesper.
00:48:10
◼
►
I'm never going to be an Instapaper, an Overcast,
00:48:12
◼
►
or anything like that.
00:48:13
◼
►
And that's OK with you.
00:48:14
◼
►
Don't say that.
00:48:15
◼
►
Yeah, you never know.
00:48:16
◼
►
You never know, man.
00:48:17
◼
►
Have some confidence.
00:48:18
◼
►
You could be a non-shipping app with the Overcast.
00:48:22
◼
►
That's true.
00:48:23
◼
►
That is very true.
00:48:25
◼
►
One last topic on the nerd path. Because I think it's very telling about where Apple
00:48:34
◼
►
is today. In a keynote, especially a WWDC keynote, because the event ones are more focused
00:48:40
◼
►
because it's, hey, we've just got this new iPad and we want to show you. But WWDC, you
00:48:44
◼
►
can see what Apple thinks is important based on what kind of stint it gets on stage, right?
00:48:49
◼
►
There's the basic level of, oh, yeah, there's this thing and it'll just tell you and it'll
00:48:53
◼
►
put up a slide and a thing. And then it's on to the next topic. Then there's like, bring
00:48:58
◼
►
out a special guest and bring out like, you know, that's like at the far end is like bring
00:49:03
◼
►
out like a third party and say, we brought them here a month ago. We tied them up in
00:49:07
◼
►
a room and made them write this thing. And the one that got that, the only third party
00:49:11
◼
►
that came on stage yesterday was Epic. And that was for metal. And yeah, that's really,
00:49:18
◼
►
know it goes against the idea that they were focusing on the consumer stuff
00:49:23
◼
►
right metal and it's a replacement for OpenGL and blah blah blah you know
00:49:28
◼
►
millions of triangles per second but Apple clearly sees it as important
00:49:32
◼
►
because they spent a lot of time on it and a big demo and I think it's so
00:49:38
◼
►
interesting about where Apple is as a company today because it's not just that
00:49:42
◼
►
they've replaced OpenGL is that they've gotten out of now the headache of OpenGL
00:49:48
◼
►
is like a it's open it's got like a consortium behind it and so if they want
00:49:52
◼
►
to get improvements to OpenGL so that it runs better on an a7 they've got to go
00:49:57
◼
►
through this process and now fuck all that right like WebKit metal is exactly
00:50:04
◼
►
what Apple wants for talking to the GPUs that they've designed it's like now
00:50:10
◼
►
they've got an API for using the GPUs that was designed hand-in-hand with the
00:50:16
◼
►
hardware guys who were making the GPUs and that is not something Apple ten
00:50:22
◼
►
years ago could have done because Apple wasn't big enough. Microsoft could do it
00:50:25
◼
►
they did it with DirectX and Microsoft could get away with it because
00:50:30
◼
►
there were you know three four hundred million PCs out in the world and a
00:50:35
◼
►
hundred million of them were people who wanted to play games and so Microsoft
00:50:38
◼
►
could say we've got DirectX you're gonna program to DirectX and game developers
00:50:46
◼
►
DirectX had the advantage of learning from all of OpenGL's
00:50:48
◼
►
mistakes because OpenGL was older.
00:50:50
◼
►
So it is a little bit newer.
00:50:51
◼
►
And DirectX, Apple, Microsoft has evolved it.
00:50:54
◼
►
And it is a very capable API.
00:50:56
◼
►
But I think on the metal front, a lot of that, I think,
00:50:58
◼
►
was coming from game developers who were saying,
00:51:00
◼
►
you've got a great GPU, but you're
00:51:02
◼
►
making us use OpenGL ES.
00:51:04
◼
►
And here's where it's stupid.
00:51:05
◼
►
And like you said, Apple's like, well, we don't make OpenGL.
00:51:08
◼
►
We don't define the standard.
00:51:09
◼
►
We work with the consortium.
00:51:10
◼
►
It's like trying to work with W3C.
00:51:12
◼
►
It's a slow process.
00:51:13
◼
►
And so game developers are like, well, what about now?
00:51:15
◼
►
My shipping game now, I want to get closer to the metal.
00:51:18
◼
►
And they pulled the name right out.
00:51:21
◼
►
It's like AMD's mantle.
00:51:23
◼
►
Game developers wanted this.
00:51:25
◼
►
A game developer--
00:51:25
◼
►
and what can Apple do?
00:51:26
◼
►
Apple can't-- they're not going to go off and make their
00:51:28
◼
►
own DirectX, because that's not what we want.
00:51:30
◼
►
We know exactly what we want.
00:51:31
◼
►
We know what the GPU is capable of.
00:51:33
◼
►
Just give us more control.
00:51:34
◼
►
So it's one of the rare cases where Apple enters a new API
00:51:36
◼
►
that's lower level, and that it's because
00:51:38
◼
►
developers wanted it.
00:51:39
◼
►
They said, we want lower level.
00:51:40
◼
►
Well, and then I think the other way that it'll work and it'll get uptake is that they've
00:51:44
◼
►
clearly, this is one of those things where they were a little open, slightly with a short
00:51:48
◼
►
list but they had Epic. They've got like I think the four big game engines on board already
00:51:54
◼
►
and so it's the game engines that provide the higher level API that most game developers
00:51:59
◼
►
spend most of their time in and they just get to take advantage of this 10x improvement.
00:52:05
◼
►
But I know, and I know the guy even said like an order of magnitude improvement, but I don't
00:52:09
◼
►
think people maybe some people don't really think that that could be true
00:52:12
◼
►
that like year over year there's a 10x improvement in graphics but it's really
00:52:16
◼
►
that true well I mean it's specific cases like an open GL API they want you
00:52:19
◼
►
to like batch up your stuff and not do a bunch of different calls but just get it
00:52:22
◼
►
gather up all your crap and make one call because doing the calls is
00:52:25
◼
►
expensive and this is saying well I got a 10x speed up because I don't have to
00:52:28
◼
►
do that anymore and I don't do this careful batching and trying to play nice
00:52:31
◼
►
with open GL I can just send the calls and I mean I don't know enough of the
00:52:34
◼
►
details of it but it's like it is it kind of a Taylor pick benchmark I like
00:52:38
◼
►
"Oh, 10x in this particular operation."
00:52:40
◼
►
But that particular operation happens all the time,
00:52:41
◼
►
and you could work around it the old way,
00:52:42
◼
►
but it was annoying, and I said,
00:52:43
◼
►
"Geez, just let me talk to the GPU
00:52:45
◼
►
the way it wants me to talk to it,
00:52:46
◼
►
and I don't have to deal with this stuff."
00:52:48
◼
►
- All right, whatever.
00:52:52
◼
►
(audience laughing)
00:52:53
◼
►
Now, let's take a break.
00:52:54
◼
►
I wanna end up the nerdy part of the show.
00:52:57
◼
►
I think that was pretty good.
00:52:59
◼
►
But I have a surprise, and I have a surprise guest
00:53:03
◼
►
from our friends at Apple,
00:53:05
◼
►
and I know it was in the news last week.
00:53:08
◼
►
Um, no, even better. Uh, I have a gift for you, Marco. And it's here from Dr. Dre. Ladies
00:53:16
◼
►
and gentlemen, Dr. Dre. I read your site. I listen to your podcast. I know that you
00:53:28
◼
►
love high end headphones. You can go, you can go ahead and open that.
00:53:35
◼
►
I'll hold this. I think it would be fair for you to throw those on real quick.
00:53:38
◼
►
So we... Is this real?
00:53:40
◼
►
So I had Dre, I called Dre and you know he takes phone calls, he answered right on his Mac and I said Dre...
00:53:48
◼
►
Well, we all have his number now. I need the best headphones in the world because this guy is really fucking picky.
00:53:53
◼
►
I mean I sent him the URL of his headphone comparison. He's like, holy shit, man. That guy really knows his shit.
00:53:58
◼
►
I got just the phones for him.
00:54:00
◼
►
Beat Studio Special Edition.
00:54:02
◼
►
You know the funny thing is actually I was in an Apple store recently and I tried these on and I thought you know actually
00:54:06
◼
►
of all the beats
00:54:07
◼
►
These actually don't sound that bad like I was like you know of all the all the ones here if I had to buy a
00:54:13
◼
►
Pair of beats the studios are actually the least crappy sounding ones that they make way to ruin the bit
00:54:20
◼
►
And they're overcast theme - totally yeah top secret my color is orange
00:54:28
◼
►
I want to take a moment here. We have one more sponsor for the episode who I want to
00:54:32
◼
►
thank and that is our good friends at Market Circle. Market Circle has two great apps.
00:54:37
◼
►
You've probably heard of them both because they've sponsored my show before. They've
00:54:40
◼
►
sponsored the site. But they have Billings Pro. Now that's a time tracking and invoicing
00:54:46
◼
►
app. So anybody who does freelance work where you have to track your time, send invoices.
00:54:50
◼
►
If you haven't looked at Billings Pro, you're nuts. It's a great app. They've got clients
00:54:54
◼
►
for all your devices. And when you make your invoice, they've got templates and themes
00:55:00
◼
►
and they come out looking great. So it's not like some kind of ugly thing where it looks
00:55:03
◼
►
like a 1978 Vax printed out your invoice. Really, really top notch design. Great stuff.
00:55:11
◼
►
And Daylight. Daylight is software for organizing your business. The way they describe it is
00:55:18
◼
►
it's CRM with productivity features first as opposed to the other way around. So you
00:55:22
◼
►
actually organize the people who are involved in the people you know in your
00:55:26
◼
►
company in a way that looks like a real nice Mac or iOS app not some piece of
00:55:31
◼
►
crap typical CRM stuff so markets are you can go to market circle calm and
00:55:37
◼
►
check out their great stuff but they help sponsor this show and that's great
00:55:40
◼
►
and the other thing I wanted to do is I wanted to mention it so AJ is the guy
00:55:43
◼
►
from Market Circle and he's been a longtime fan of the show and he a couple
00:55:49
◼
►
of weeks ago, I got a nice e-mail from somebody at iTunes about the explicit tag on this podcast.
00:55:57
◼
►
And the fact that it wasn't there. And it was just, "Hey, we all love your show. It
00:56:01
◼
►
was very nice, very personal." And we know there's not a lot of swearing on your show,
00:56:05
◼
►
but it does come up occasionally. And we've started to get some complaints from parents.
00:56:12
◼
►
And so, I've started. If you look at the feed, there's at least two episodes from the last
00:56:16
◼
►
five or three or four that have the explicit tag because they're swearing.
00:56:19
◼
►
Obviously this show is probably going to have to have the explicit tag.
00:56:22
◼
►
And that very day I got an email and it just said, subject,
00:56:26
◼
►
my son and the talk show. And I thought, Oh God, here it is.
00:56:29
◼
►
And I almost didn't even read it. I don't want to read this.
00:56:33
◼
►
And I clicked it and read it. And instead it was AJ writing me.
00:56:36
◼
►
And he just said he has a 10 year old son and he's a huge fan of the show.
00:56:40
◼
►
And I was like, wow, 10 years old.
00:56:42
◼
►
My son does not want to listen to me talk about any of this stuff.
00:56:45
◼
►
That's amazing! Ten years old and he loves the talk show.
00:56:49
◼
►
And it's the only show he likes to... Sorry guys, it's the only show he likes to listen to.
00:56:53
◼
►
And so AJ said that he'll listen to the talk show, because he's been a longtime listener,
00:56:57
◼
►
and then he's like driving his son to school or soccer practice or something,
00:57:01
◼
►
and he's like wants to listen to the talk show and he's got to listen to the episodes again,
00:57:03
◼
►
because he's already listened to them and his son wants to listen to them.
00:57:06
◼
►
Anyway, his son plays soccer and a week or so ago he was playing and he got injured, he got a concussion.
00:57:12
◼
►
and he's been laid up since, can't play soccer, can't even listen, he's got like headaches, can't even listen to podcasts.
00:57:18
◼
►
So his son's name is Kayden, and I just wanted to say something to him right here on the show,
00:57:24
◼
►
because whenever he's better from this concussion, he's going to listen to it.
00:57:27
◼
►
And I hope it's a nice thrill, but let's, everybody here in the show, let's hear it for Kayden, the 10-year-old fan of the talk show.
00:57:34
◼
►
show. Alright, you lose your mic Casey. Alright, my next guest is my good friend, Mr. Scott
00:57:53
◼
►
Scott Simpson.
00:58:00
◼
►
I came in like a wrecking ball I never hit so hard in love
00:58:07
◼
►
All I wanted was to break you up All you ever did was wreck me
00:58:15
◼
►
I came in like a wrecking ball Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung
00:58:23
◼
►
♪ Let me crush it in a blazing form ♪
00:58:27
◼
►
♪ All you ever did was wreck me ♪
00:58:32
◼
►
♪ Yeah you, you wreck me ♪
00:58:36
◼
►
♪ Yeah you, you wreck me ♪
00:58:39
◼
►
- What's up San Francisco, The Talk Show,
00:58:43
◼
►
worldwide developer something something.
00:58:45
◼
►
(audience cheering)
00:58:47
◼
►
Means clap your hands.
00:58:49
◼
►
I feel like this show, I realized when I was backstage
00:58:52
◼
►
waiting to go up.
00:58:53
◼
►
My show is gonna be a mullet.
00:58:55
◼
►
Business is over.
00:58:59
◼
►
Now it's a party.
00:59:02
◼
►
Hi, my name is Scott Simpson.
00:59:05
◼
►
I worked at Apple for about eight years
00:59:09
◼
►
and then I left to do stand-up comedy
00:59:11
◼
►
about a year and a half ago.
00:59:13
◼
►
For the money.
00:59:15
◼
►
(audience laughing)
00:59:18
◼
►
Just know that Marco's looking at my butt right now.
00:59:22
◼
►
right there I mean and it's been going well and and if you don't know who I am
00:59:30
◼
►
that's fine I assume you're a cretin or some type of hill person that's fine
00:59:38
◼
►
though and I was talking to a friend of mine like hey how can I get my name out
00:59:41
◼
►
there more as a comedian now that I'm doing comedy and he was like well what's
00:59:46
◼
►
your theme song I was like what do you mean theme song he's like dude you gotta
00:59:51
◼
►
have a theme song. I was like I don't have a theme song. He's like if you have
00:59:55
◼
►
a theme song that people remember it they know it's you. It sounded like a great
01:00:00
◼
►
idea so I sat down with my guitar in my office and I knocked out a little theme
01:00:07
◼
►
song. Do you guys want to hear it? Alright let's listen to my the theme song that I
01:00:12
◼
►
wrote for myself.
01:00:55
◼
►
That's my theme song. Thank you, thank you.
01:01:04
◼
►
It was really fun to work with Lil Jon on that.
01:01:07
◼
►
My friend Jessie Char has a great idea about Lil Jon.
01:01:12
◼
►
She's like, "You know what? 2014, we have exactly the right amount of Lil Jon."
01:01:16
◼
►
Like, Lil Jon's not food. Lil Jon's like a spice. You don't want too much Lil Jon.
01:01:21
◼
►
You just want a lil Lil Jon.
01:01:23
◼
►
I took that back to my people.
01:01:26
◼
►
And they were like, "You know what? That's great.
01:01:29
◼
►
But it's a little maybe a little edgy for your crowd.
01:01:35
◼
►
So I went back to the drawing board and I tried another route.
01:01:41
◼
►
So let's hear that next one.
01:01:52
◼
►
Then they were like, what?
01:01:58
◼
►
then they were like well it skews a little young like it's a little poppy
01:02:02
◼
►
and maybe that's not your style try something a little a little more classic
01:02:06
◼
►
a little older so I went back to the drawing board Scott
01:02:15
◼
►
I agree I agree with you guys that one sucks so that one was too old so I tried
01:02:27
◼
►
like another tack
01:02:29
◼
►
Scott and they're like the voice is good and I was I was into it cuz like I
01:02:46
◼
►
thought I sounded really good on that track so they're like try that same
01:02:50
◼
►
voice and it's like some setting in GarageBand try that voice but try it
01:02:54
◼
►
like a little more rocky.
01:03:15
◼
►
I realize now that I made too many of these,
01:03:19
◼
►
But we're still gonna do them.
01:03:21
◼
►
And then, you know, we realize like it does need to be a little more current, a little more, a little more interesting and fun.
01:03:30
◼
►
Maybe bring it up a little bit in terms of energy. So let's give this one a listen.
01:03:52
◼
►
Mix-a-lot and I agreed that the messaging on that was a little weird.
01:03:59
◼
►
So we got to this.
01:04:01
◼
►
listen to this next one are you as bored of this joke as I am fuck you that was a
01:04:27
◼
►
rhetorical question clappers. God damn it. Alright there's one more I said it on
01:04:36
◼
►
this one. This is it. Are you booing me motherfucker? Get the fuck out of here!
01:04:42
◼
►
Alright just one more.
01:04:53
◼
►
Scott use you want to have fun with anyone
01:04:58
◼
►
but when I see you hanging about with anyone yeah I'm gonna go with turn down
01:05:05
◼
►
for Scott I feel like that's the best one I'm gonna live with that huh thank
01:05:09
◼
►
you it is it is very nice to be in San Francisco I live here I know a lot of
01:05:16
◼
►
you folks traveled here from elsewhere over the weekend I want to tell you this
01:05:19
◼
►
brief story. I went to Indiana to perform in a comedy festival there and when I
01:05:27
◼
►
was there before I went my friend was like "are you going to Bloomington?
01:05:31
◼
►
Bloomington's fun but watch out they like to drink." And I was like "that's also
01:05:41
◼
►
how people introduce me. Watch out. He likes to drink. So I took it as a
01:05:51
◼
►
challenge. I think I won. I might have lost. I'm not sure. I got drunk the whole
01:05:54
◼
►
time. It was great. But a couple other amazing things happened to me when I was
01:05:58
◼
►
in Indiana. Is anybody here from Indiana? Clap if you're from in Indiana. All right.
01:06:02
◼
►
That's a decent number. Here's what I thought about Indiana before I went.
01:06:08
◼
►
As I was driving from Indianapolis in the airport, I was driving on the highway.
01:06:15
◼
►
It was so beautiful. As I drove, a majestic water bird like a heron or a crane, a four-foot
01:06:26
◼
►
wingspan came and flew next to my car for about a minute. It just flew there next to my car. And
01:06:34
◼
►
And I swear to God at one point it went it looked over at me was like
01:06:38
◼
►
I'm pretty sure I got supped by a heron
01:06:43
◼
►
It was awesome. It was like it was like the that moment in easy rider when somebody does something to a thing whatever doesn't matter
01:06:50
◼
►
But I was riding along with this goddamn heron and it was beautiful now we have to use the explicit tag
01:06:57
◼
►
I'm sorry. I'm sorry Kayden Kayden
01:06:59
◼
►
Man, I know you're not gonna listen to this, but you're gonna get so much puss based on that
01:07:04
◼
►
that applause
01:07:07
◼
►
oh bro fucking caden can we sub in Scott for that later
01:07:12
◼
►
it's kind of my thing
01:07:16
◼
►
Scott's 10 he had a concussion and he's ready to fuck that's not true I'm not
01:07:28
◼
►
I'm sorry. So, back to Indiana. There I was in Indiana and this majestic bird was
01:07:39
◼
►
flying next to me and then at one moment it arced off and I saw it fly over a
01:07:44
◼
►
large warehouse and on the side of the warehouse was a bedsheet and on the
01:07:50
◼
►
bedsheet was hand-painted the word fireworks. As I left the fireworks store
01:08:00
◼
►
with a bag full of way more shit than I can use in three days, I thought to
01:08:06
◼
►
myself this is amazing. This is two amazing human achievements, two amazing
01:08:11
◼
►
human perceptions in one day. I got to view, I got to see the majesty of nature
01:08:17
◼
►
And I also got to experience the majesty of using some shit to blow other shit up.
01:08:24
◼
►
Right? It's great. Like, I feel like that is core to us as people. Whether you believe in God or not, you
01:08:30
◼
►
recognize that the world is a magical,
01:08:33
◼
►
wonderful place, and
01:08:36
◼
►
sometimes you want to make it fucking explode.
01:08:39
◼
►
The rest of the weekend I spent in my hotel room
01:08:47
◼
►
listening to Lionel Richie
01:08:49
◼
►
Just sitting on a pile of fireworks
01:08:51
◼
►
Not dancing on the ceiling hello, I listen to hello on repeat in my underwear
01:08:59
◼
►
Surrounded by bottle rockets and roman candles and I thought to myself
01:09:04
◼
►
Goddamnit heartland
01:09:08
◼
►
There are some things you do right like I'm a California guy
01:09:10
◼
►
I'm as blue state as they come but I loved being in Indiana because you know what if a dumb
01:09:16
◼
►
Meaty bro wants to ride around on his motorcycle with his helmet off. That's kind of great, right?
01:09:21
◼
►
Like I feel like we can learn from I can learn certainly from that perspective like certainly I believe
01:09:28
◼
►
That a woman has a right to a legal and safe abortion
01:09:34
◼
►
Thank you. I think if you believe in it, why don't we clap for that if you believe in it? I
01:09:42
◼
►
I believe in that. I also want to clap for this next one. I also believe that that same woman
01:09:47
◼
►
has a legal unsafe right to enough fireworks to freak out all the cats in her neighborhood.
01:09:54
◼
►
Right? Like both of those things. That's great. And what I was going to say based on that was,
01:10:01
◼
►
you know, I think the same thing sort of applies a lot of times in technology.
01:10:06
◼
►
Like there's a partisanship between two opposing sides like iOS versus Android or something like that.
01:10:14
◼
►
And we really gain a lot when we come together and figure stuff out that works on both sides.
01:10:20
◼
►
I was gonna say that, that's boring as fuck. I just wanted to talk about being in my underwear in my hotel room.
01:10:25
◼
►
Turn down for me you guys.
01:10:34
◼
►
The other thing that I wanted to talk about with you guys specifically, Mark, no nothing,
01:10:43
◼
►
it's cool, you got those sweet beats.
01:10:45
◼
►
I'm going to call you sweet beats from now on.
01:10:52
◼
►
Have you guys ever heard of a place called Draper University?
01:10:59
◼
►
Has anybody here ever heard of Draper University?
01:11:03
◼
►
a few people okay okay you might not like the next half an hour of what we talk about
01:11:10
◼
►
oh thank you guys thank you so much
01:11:16
◼
►
Ladies and gentlemen, Brent Simmons and
01:11:27
◼
►
clap for boos
01:11:32
◼
►
Jesse Char. So I do a lot of stuff in San Mateo. I spent a lot of time at the public
01:11:40
◼
►
library in San Mateo because they have the most relaxed sleeping policy. And I've often
01:11:49
◼
►
walked by this place that is an old converted hotel. And I walked past the other day and
01:11:55
◼
►
And in the window were two giant photographs, one of Steve Jobs and one of Elon Musk, looking
01:12:03
◼
►
like he needs some sun, like he always does.
01:12:06
◼
►
And I was like, what is this place?
01:12:09
◼
►
So I did some research online to find out what Draper University is.
01:12:13
◼
►
And I thought I'd share it with you.
01:12:15
◼
►
Mostly because I feel like as good, we're all good people, right?
01:12:19
◼
►
I feel like we should combat the douchiness in our midst and technology
01:12:25
◼
►
often encourages a lot of a lot of that behavior. It's rampant out in the valley.
01:12:30
◼
►
Yeah, oh yeah exactly and so that's where that's where this is. So I looked it up
01:12:36
◼
►
online Draper University and I got this I got this information. Located in
01:12:43
◼
►
Silicon Valley, Draper University of Heroes. It's the first sign, like it's
01:12:51
◼
►
Draper University of Heroes. And then I remembered like a bunch of like young
01:12:55
◼
►
people walking around town wearing this t-shirt that just says hero on it. I'm
01:13:00
◼
►
like what did you did you save a cat from a burning building? You don't look
01:13:03
◼
►
like it. And I realized that they're attendees of Draper University. Draper
01:13:08
◼
►
University of Heroes is the brainchild of free-spirited venture capitalist Tim
01:13:12
◼
►
Draper aka the risk master I think Tim Draper is a good stand-in for a Silicon
01:13:22
◼
►
Valley proto douche like a like a like the last generation like you know like
01:13:28
◼
►
he's got like a fun tie and he hates all taxes I I thought when you said it I
01:13:40
◼
►
never heard it I thought it was maybe like a Don Draper University and I I
01:13:44
◼
►
feel like anybody who would enroll at thinking along the lines that I'm
01:13:48
◼
►
thinking is probably gonna be very disappointed when the classes start like
01:13:52
◼
►
they probably think classes are gonna start like this that's right that's
01:13:56
◼
►
right we do a shot and then we learn how to harass right you unlearn all those
01:14:01
◼
►
classes you took apparently it's a very different University it is so what they
01:14:07
◼
►
say on their website top of the line websites not it's terrible we are an
01:14:13
◼
►
unconventional world-class residential and online school for the brightest
01:14:17
◼
►
young entrepreneurs from around the world our core curriculum all right our
01:14:21
◼
►
core curriculum includes some of the following topics media training
01:14:27
◼
►
negotiations various topics in finance is gloss over the stuff that's actually
01:14:34
◼
►
a school subject. And then they dive into other things like lean startups,
01:14:42
◼
►
creativity crash course, design thinking, innovation, and some other terrible stuff.
01:14:50
◼
►
And so I was like what what is it? So I looked further I watched a video there's
01:14:56
◼
►
a great video online about Draper University. Instead of desks students sit
01:15:02
◼
►
in colorful beanbag chairs. And the video is great because like obviously he had this idea
01:15:08
◼
►
he's like oh this will be great we'll be unconventional as fuck we'll just sit in beanbag chairs and
01:15:14
◼
►
bandy about great ideas for how to change the world and you see the kids in the beanbag chairs
01:15:19
◼
►
and they're like sliding down. Did you have a beanbag chair when you were growing up? No I
01:15:25
◼
►
wanted one but I was not allowed to have one because I was told before we ever even tried it
01:15:31
◼
►
that it would break and make a ginormous mess.
01:15:34
◼
►
You had good parents.
01:15:35
◼
►
Yeah, that's like the beanbag chair is the great lie.
01:15:39
◼
►
It's like the hungry hungry hippos of chairs.
01:15:41
◼
►
Like it seems like it's gonna be the best thing in the world.
01:15:43
◼
►
And then you get it and somebody swallows a marble and you're in the emergency room.
01:15:47
◼
►
Every common area and hallway is covered in whiteboard paint for brainstorming.
01:15:55
◼
►
And there's a shot of the class schedule at one point.
01:15:59
◼
►
One of the classes is called Futurology.
01:16:02
◼
►
(audience laughing)
01:16:05
◼
►
It's making up words.
01:16:06
◼
►
And then there's a quote from an article
01:16:12
◼
►
about the university.
01:16:13
◼
►
"Earlier that day, I watched Draper change the agenda line
01:16:17
◼
►
"for a planned activity, a gathering of Draper U students
01:16:20
◼
►
"and his daughter's college friends.
01:16:22
◼
►
"He changed it from mixer with sorority to hero-a-thon."
01:16:27
◼
►
the private school is not accredited and never will be draper says that's a box
01:16:43
◼
►
we don't want to be put into
01:16:44
◼
►
oh the actual university box
01:16:48
◼
►
so here's my favorite part and then have a question for you for you guys
01:16:56
◼
►
at the end of the session each student doesn't receive a BA or a BS or again an
01:17:04
◼
►
actual degree every student receives a CA which stands for can you guess what
01:17:09
◼
►
CA stands for? Creative Achievement. Creative Achievement that's a terrible
01:17:17
◼
►
guess John it's actually a fine guess stands for change agent which sounds
01:17:26
◼
►
like what Ebola turns into when it's human catchable like you we could have
01:17:31
◼
►
given John six months and he never would have thought of that because it's such
01:17:34
◼
►
bullshit yeah that's right that's right you just proved yourself to be bullshit
01:17:38
◼
►
free. Alright so here's my favorite part in lieu of diplomas Draper U students
01:17:48
◼
►
receive masks and superhero capes.
01:17:53
◼
►
Printed, guy up front said no. They receive masks and capes printed with
01:18:04
◼
►
their superhero nicknames gets better and are instructed to jump on each of a
01:18:11
◼
►
series of three small trampolines placed in a line in front of them while
01:18:17
◼
►
bouncing from trampoline to trampoline they're told to shout up up and away
01:18:25
◼
►
then they assemble for a group photo what a bullshit place so why why are we
01:18:31
◼
►
doing this show instead of doing a show where all of us go there and videotape it.
01:18:35
◼
►
That would be great. I also thought maybe we could do a Kickstarter where we all
01:18:39
◼
►
send John to...
01:18:42
◼
►
It's a... so again it's called a university. It's an eight-week course. So it's an
01:18:51
◼
►
eight-week course that costs $10,000 which frankly is not that crazy for... I mean
01:18:56
◼
►
you get breakfast. I thought maybe we could we could because actually the
01:19:04
◼
►
application deadline this is true the application deadline for the summer
01:19:07
◼
►
quarter I think they call it even though that's a lie is tomorrow on the
01:19:13
◼
►
application box on the application screen it's an online application
01:19:16
◼
►
there's one box that just says tell us a story which I love but then I realized
01:19:25
◼
►
that you have to be 18 to 26 to go there and I don't think like we could doctor
01:19:34
◼
►
know the fuck out of you with some makeup but I don't think there'd be
01:19:38
◼
►
enough to to make you look 26 to make you look 26 yeah but then that got me
01:19:44
◼
►
thinking too look Draper you let's just work to combat that element of bullshit
01:19:53
◼
►
tech speak and entrepreneurial mumble jumbo. Mumble jumbo I just said but I
01:20:01
◼
►
thought maybe well here's my dream my dream is this not Draper U my dream is
01:20:10
◼
►
Gruber U. Gruber University I don't know not of heroes but I don't know what that
01:20:20
◼
►
would look like. I thought maybe you guys could help me out with that. I think
01:20:24
◼
►
John already told you it's like Mad Men University. That's true. It's still called
01:20:28
◼
►
Draper University. So there's a lot of drinking. There's no suits though. Morning
01:20:38
◼
►
classes no. No morning classes. Well you'll have classes. You'll have classes
01:20:43
◼
►
at 2 in the morning. Oh that doesn't count as a morning. Well that's a good
01:20:50
◼
►
I don't know. I feel like I'm in a poor position to judge. I feel like it's, I feel
01:20:54
◼
►
like you guys maybe would have better ideas than me. Well, is the
01:20:57
◼
►
curriculum anything outside of mixology? Is that pretty much the extent of it all?
01:21:04
◼
►
No, I have other interests. I mean, it'd be a wide-ranging curriculum. But they all just fund...
01:21:10
◼
►
We'd have a very good baseball team. That's true. That's right. But you went to school and you did
01:21:15
◼
►
like the student things. You were in that school newspaper. You did all that
01:21:19
◼
►
So the Draper University, sorry, the Gruber University's gotta take you through that arc of like,
01:21:24
◼
►
once he was a good student and belonged to the newspaper and was, and then you gotta transition into the Don Draper.
01:21:30
◼
►
Oh yeah. It's an arc. That's genius. The Gruber Memorial Rotunda.
01:21:35
◼
►
That tells the story of your life from a young shitty kid to a middle aged shitty man.
01:21:45
◼
►
It is true. I'll tell you, it's funny you bring it up. I didn't know you were going to bring this up.
01:21:48
◼
►
But I've been haunted my entire life by dreams.
01:21:52
◼
►
And it's very common, everybody has, but dreams of school unpreparedness.
01:21:57
◼
►
You know, in the dream it's exam day or there's a big homework assignment and it's like,
01:22:01
◼
►
"Oh my God, I blew it off, but why would I blow it off until now?"
01:22:04
◼
►
It's due now. Shit.
01:22:06
◼
►
And, you know, and then it's a very unpleasant dream and I feel stressed out because when I was young,
01:22:10
◼
►
I wanted to get good grades, etcetera, etcetera.
01:22:12
◼
►
But I've started, like, in the last few years, it's really me in the dream now. And I don't
01:22:18
◼
►
care. And I literally had a dream that I grew up, my parents' house is across the street
01:22:26
◼
►
from the elementary school I went to. Literally across the street. And I had a dream that
01:22:30
◼
►
my high school social studies teacher, who's a great guy, Mr. Choika, and he taught us
01:22:36
◼
►
like civics and stuff and taught us cool shit to teach high schoolers. Like, hey, when cops
01:22:40
◼
►
come to your door you don't have to let him in and we use that like high school parties it's like
01:22:44
◼
►
no you cannot come in and nobody else knew that he was a great teacher and in my dream
01:22:49
◼
►
some for some reason he's teaching in the elementary school but it's i'm in high school
01:22:56
◼
►
and he's just like a kid and i'm there and it's people are noisy and i'm annoyed and
01:23:03
◼
►
choika mr choika goes i could use a fucking drink and i said i could get one of my parents houses
01:23:08
◼
►
across the street and he goes that'd be great and and I said what do you want
01:23:13
◼
►
because well we gotta make it look like water what I swear guys it's a real
01:23:16
◼
►
dream I had and this is the dream I thought this is a real thing that
01:23:19
◼
►
happened never happened I stopped listening for a second and I was like
01:23:24
◼
►
your teacher was the best teacher no it's like did my dreams of being in
01:23:27
◼
►
school now it's just me I'm like yeah I'll get you a drink and I went across
01:23:30
◼
►
it and the funny thing is and I got him like a gin and tonic and he told me to
01:23:33
◼
►
in the dream he told me to put extra pepper in it I was like all right
01:23:37
◼
►
you're the teacher. And the funny thing is my parents don't even have gin in the
01:23:41
◼
►
house. I don't know but in my dream world they do. I think I would go visit them a
01:23:45
◼
►
lot more. Can I just quickly quick aside somebody in the front somebody in front
01:23:50
◼
►
have an iPhone that they would be willing to use would you be willing to
01:23:54
◼
►
use would you keep track of the Gruber University core curriculum for us? Let's
01:24:00
◼
►
9 to 10 at 10 a.m. is blank. 10 to 2 p.m. is blank. Study hall.
01:24:11
◼
►
2 to 3 is Yankees.
01:24:24
◼
►
three to 301 is Yankees suck 301 to 302 is that lady gets unmatriculated we have
01:24:36
◼
►
to address grading you know evaluation of the students and in Draper Gruber
01:24:42
◼
►
University you know because what you said about you know you used to care a
01:24:45
◼
►
lot about grades until you got smarter and realized you know so just forgive me
01:24:51
◼
►
this is a bit of a risk, but I think probably not. How many of you out there were A students?
01:24:58
◼
►
Okay, how many of you out there were C students? The C students always have a way more fun
01:25:06
◼
►
reaction to that. How many, I would guess that on average, and this is totally out of
01:25:13
◼
►
my ass, on average C students probably do better in reality than A students. Because
01:25:18
◼
►
the C students are the ones... That's what C students tell themselves anyway. That too.
01:25:24
◼
►
Because the C students were the ones who figured out that you don't have to do about 80% of
01:25:28
◼
►
what they assign you in school. Right? So I think part of Druber Draper University would
01:25:35
◼
►
just be, you know, you don't tell anybody this for a while and then like, you know,
01:25:39
◼
►
senior year or whatever, last week of it, you take everyone with a GPA of above like
01:25:44
◼
►
3.8 and you guys fail. Sorry. That's brilliant. You didn't get it. That's brilliant. You've
01:25:48
◼
►
wasted way too much time studying on this nonsense. Exactly. That's brilliant. You did everything we asked. Why didn't you question that?
01:25:55
◼
►
You know, I remember when Bushi was the president and there were, you know, famously it was not the sharpest pencil in the box and didn't have a terrific school record.
01:26:08
◼
►
there was actually news stories about that there is a correlation to achieving
01:26:13
◼
►
C-level positions in major fortune 500 corporations and having
01:26:20
◼
►
extraordinarily mediocre scholastic records. You'd have to be a psychopath for that though, right?
01:26:26
◼
►
Right, well there's even a phrase for it, "the gentleman's C" that you know that
01:26:30
◼
►
that as long as you put up a modicum of effort and you know you're not going to
01:26:34
◼
►
never show up for class you're going to show up and you're going to take the
01:26:37
◼
►
exam and fail terribly, they'll at least give you a C. And that is the people who
01:26:41
◼
►
take advantage of that rule and they're like, "Well, wait a second. If the worst I can do
01:26:45
◼
►
is a C, I can do nothing." Yeah, I never did homework. I literally did zero
01:26:52
◼
►
homework for my entire academic career and I always almost failed some classes
01:26:57
◼
►
here and there and got A's in the easy classes here and there and I came out
01:27:01
◼
►
okay. I almost even graduated. Alright, so I think we can probably guess
01:27:06
◼
►
that that description does not apply to John. You would guess wrong. I also did not like
01:27:12
◼
►
doing homework at all. I just did enough of it to get A's. But. Oh, what an asshole.
01:27:22
◼
►
I did not want to do homework at all. I thought it was in a front that I should ever have
01:27:26
◼
►
it and now I get it back because now my son comes home and thinks it is like the worst
01:27:29
◼
►
injustice in the world that when he comes home from school there's still more school
01:27:32
◼
►
to do. Tell it the same way. He's right.
01:27:35
◼
►
But nobody would ever accuse you of being a type A personality. Type A is I've got to
01:27:39
◼
►
be valedictorian. And if I'm salutatorian, I'm going to find a loophole where the valedictorian
01:27:47
◼
►
took a weird class in seventh grade and their 4.0 should be a 3.999. That's not you.
01:27:52
◼
►
This is what I said in my report card every year for my whole life. Not working up to
01:27:56
◼
►
potential. I've got them all saved. Every teacher would write it.
01:28:03
◼
►
But I don't think anybody is surprised by this. I think this comes very clear. And your
01:28:07
◼
►
baseline of the minimum work to get an A. And you probably did more work to figure out
01:28:12
◼
►
what the minimum work is to get an A than the actual work that you did. Like you probably
01:28:17
◼
►
knew exactly. It wasn't work, it was more like subterfuge. How many notes home can I
01:28:21
◼
►
hide from my parents before they find one? This is probably a CPAN module somewhere to
01:28:26
◼
►
Did you know your grades? Like were you ever surprised by your report card? Did you know your grades?
01:28:31
◼
►
No, I knew my grades. I mean I was with the nerds like valedictorian was my best friend.
01:28:35
◼
►
Oh were you with the nerds? You were with the nerds?
01:28:38
◼
►
Look look where you look where you are, sir
01:28:41
◼
►
That's true, I'm the one who's gonna get beat up for sure
01:28:49
◼
►
Nah, you can pass
01:28:53
◼
►
But Casey Casey to me you're a mystery man. Where did you fall on this like what kind of a high school student?
01:28:58
◼
►
Yeah, so so when I was in grade school when I was in middle school total like I will do every bit of homework
01:29:04
◼
►
I'll ask for extra credit total freaking nerd and then around and then around high school
01:29:09
◼
►
I realized I just don't fucking care and so I was a terror
01:29:14
◼
►
I was an okay high school student
01:29:16
◼
►
I was a terrible college student Marco and I I think could probably get into a pretty serious pissing match over who was the worst
01:29:22
◼
►
student in college. But yeah, so then I just realized, well, it's enough to get by and
01:29:28
◼
►
all that matters in the end is that I have a degree, not a what was change agent certificate
01:29:35
◼
►
of authenticity, whatever it was, and that's all I needed.
01:29:39
◼
►
But you Scott, were you a good good college student? Well, much like Casey, at a certain
01:29:44
◼
►
point, I realized that that that stuff wasn't important. And I stopped being as as, as rule
01:29:50
◼
►
following as I was. For me that moment came when I was 37. I was gonna say it's
01:29:58
◼
►
when you left Apple right? Yeah it was like this is stupid. I mean it's well
01:30:03
◼
►
it's stupid it's stupid but you know for me it was it was the wrong thing and I
01:30:07
◼
►
finally like was like okay I can I can jump out of this this path that I
01:30:12
◼
►
thought I had to be on. I was stressed throughout my college career because I
01:30:18
◼
►
I went to Drexel on... Drexel has a slogan much like Draper U.
01:30:25
◼
►
Drexel has an official slogan it's "We're right next to Penn." That is their slogan.
01:30:31
◼
►
I forget if I've ever told this story. I don't know if this is gonna be too long.
01:30:36
◼
►
But the long story short is I was an okay student, never really cared about grades,
01:30:41
◼
►
but I was an exceptionally talented test taker. I have truly gifted at taking things like the SAT
01:30:47
◼
►
because it was like being in the matrix where I could see why they were asking
01:30:51
◼
►
the question. I couldn't even answer it but I can see clearly they mean see I
01:30:54
◼
►
don't understand what these words mean but I I could understand the SAT at a
01:30:59
◼
►
meta level and scored very very high. This is in the early 90s before they
01:31:03
◼
►
rescored them and let people get high grades but in like 10th grade I took the
01:31:09
◼
►
SAT as a test like this isn't for real we're gonna take it for real next year
01:31:14
◼
►
And when you take the SAT, at least you did back then, you'd say, "What schools do you
01:31:19
◼
►
want it sent to for free?" And I hadn't done any research on where to go. And I picked
01:31:23
◼
►
basketball schools that I liked. I picked North Carolina and Villanova and Syracuse.
01:31:28
◼
►
>> [audience member] Syracuse!
01:31:29
◼
►
>> Yeah, I picked all the Big East teams and everybody but Duke and ACC. And I had no intention
01:31:36
◼
►
of going to any of these schools. And there were still open slots. And my friend who was
01:31:39
◼
►
with me, his sister went to Drexel. She goes, "Put Drexel down. They're cool." I was like,
01:31:43
◼
►
"All right, Drexel." And I got a really high score. I got like a 1420. And then, I go to
01:31:48
◼
►
the next year and I got a 1460. And by that time, though, I knew where I wanted to go.
01:31:53
◼
►
And I had this list of schools and it was a lot more practical. And I said, "I don't
01:31:56
◼
►
know." And Drexel wasn't even on the list. And blah, blah, blah. And I thought I was
01:31:59
◼
►
going to Penn State. And one day, the phone rings and somebody is like, "I'm somebody
01:32:02
◼
►
from Drexel University. I want to speak to John Gruber." And I said, "Yeah, that's me."
01:32:06
◼
►
And they said, "Yes, we'd like you to come to Drexel on a full tuition scholarship."
01:32:10
◼
►
And I said, "Well, what do I have to do?" And I'd already been filling out all these
01:32:15
◼
►
essays for scholarships to other schools. >> He was like, "Can you play badminton?"
01:32:21
◼
►
>> The answer was, "Well, you need to apply." And I was like, "All right."
01:32:26
◼
►
>> Seems like work already.
01:32:28
◼
►
>> I was like, "Well, then what?" And they're like, "No, that's it." And we have a policy
01:32:38
◼
►
where if you scored a 1400 or higher on your SAT, you can come to Drexel for free.
01:32:43
◼
►
>> You know it's pronounced "sat."
01:32:44
◼
►
[ Laughter ]
01:32:45
◼
►
>> It's a more efficient way to say it.
01:32:49
◼
►
>> Well, it's a Tim Cook. It's Tim Cook. And I was like, "What that -- you mean that's
01:32:53
◼
►
all I have to do is apply?" And then I go for free. And they're like, "Yeah." And I
01:32:57
◼
►
was like, "Well, what is tuition?" Because I hadn't done any research. And they're like
01:32:59
◼
►
-- and this is 1991, so it's -- I mean, it's probably like $50,000 a year now. They're
01:33:03
◼
►
like, "It's $16,000 a year." And I was like, "And I don't have to pay any of it." And they're
01:33:07
◼
►
And I was like, "Oh." And I got off the phone and my dad was like, "Who's that?"
01:33:11
◼
►
And I was like, "I don't know, it's Drexel. I guess I'm going there?"
01:33:16
◼
►
Because it was like I had, I don't know, it was complicated, you know, money for college, it's crazy how much college costs.
01:33:22
◼
►
And we had this complicated thing where we were taking out loans and all this stuff.
01:33:26
◼
►
And the only catch was I had to keep a 3.0 grade point average for my whole academic career.
01:33:33
◼
►
- It was a deal.
01:33:34
◼
►
- It was very, very stressful my first two years,
01:33:37
◼
►
but then I knew other people who had this scholarship.
01:33:40
◼
►
And the back story of it is that Drexel is really,
01:33:43
◼
►
well, maybe they're better now,
01:33:44
◼
►
but when I was there, they were really not a good school,
01:33:46
◼
►
and they had really low average SAT scores.
01:33:49
◼
►
They were like a safety school.
01:33:51
◼
►
And so their idea for raising the average SAT score was,
01:33:54
◼
►
we'll let people who score 1,300 or higher
01:33:57
◼
►
go for half tuition and 1,400, you go for free.
01:34:00
◼
►
And so I ended up like, I had like six roommates
01:34:04
◼
►
in a big apartment in one apartment,
01:34:05
◼
►
and like half of us were there for free
01:34:07
◼
►
because we'd scored 1400 and couldn't go to a good school
01:34:11
◼
►
'cause we couldn't pay for it.
01:34:12
◼
►
But then I figured out halfway through my college career
01:34:15
◼
►
that there was a grace period on the GPA thing.
01:34:19
◼
►
Like they don't just like, you fall to a 2.9
01:34:22
◼
►
and they're like, oh, sorry, you have to go.
01:34:25
◼
►
You get like, I don't know what you call it.
01:34:27
◼
►
Just to note the daily curriculum,
01:34:31
◼
►
three to four grace period.
01:34:33
◼
►
(audience laughing)
01:34:36
◼
►
- But I liked it, I had a good time there.
01:34:39
◼
►
I think I finished with like a 3.00002 GPA.
01:34:44
◼
►
It was incredibly close, but I never did dip down
01:34:47
◼
►
and I never got the letter.
01:34:49
◼
►
- I think about this a lot, especially having moved
01:34:51
◼
►
from the East Coast to the West Coast.
01:34:53
◼
►
So when I was on the East Coast, also it was the early 90s,
01:34:56
◼
►
It's like you go to college. It's just what you do, obviously.
01:35:01
◼
►
But then coming to the West Coast and seeing all these people achieve amazing things without
01:35:07
◼
►
ever having gone to college and also watching college tuitions go from super expensive to
01:35:13
◼
►
what the Kayden has been.
01:35:16
◼
►
>> You used to be like you'd buy a car for college tuition. Now you could buy like a
01:35:18
◼
►
really, really nice car.
01:35:20
◼
►
>> Yeah. You can buy a nice car for like the whole--you can buy like four cars for the
01:35:28
◼
►
not that expensive
01:35:29
◼
►
to buy a tesla you could be you could buy four teslas for the cost that goes
01:35:33
◼
►
to or for the you know how much college cost kcr casey
01:35:36
◼
►
margot you'll find out
01:35:38
◼
►
so you guys let's have pulled the on how many people here went to college
01:35:42
◼
►
well well i think that i can see we can see shit
01:35:47
◼
►
how many people
01:35:48
◼
►
graduated from college
01:35:52
◼
►
and how many people never went to college
01:35:55
◼
►
I love you guys.
01:35:56
◼
►
Those are my people.
01:35:57
◼
►
Small number.
01:35:58
◼
►
They're the people who got smart at an earlier age, right?
01:36:02
◼
►
So do you believe that college is necessary?
01:36:04
◼
►
So for folks like this, for, you know, going in the world of like being a developer or
01:36:09
◼
►
something like that, do you need to go to college still?
01:36:11
◼
►
I don't know.
01:36:13
◼
►
I think you need to go to college if you think you do so that you can learn that you don't.
01:36:21
◼
►
really profound advice but I totally can't believe it with those beats around
01:36:26
◼
►
your neck this this lends me credibility among the youths right isn't that why
01:36:32
◼
►
Apple bought them the youth's youth's did you say you I don't know you guys
01:36:44
◼
►
have anything else what do we want to talk about school I mean we should wrap
01:36:47
◼
►
up soon but school is great love school school is good for the life stuff like
01:36:54
◼
►
it's good to learn how to drink in college it's good to learn how to live
01:36:59
◼
►
by yourself for the first time that's nice so there's an adulthood element to
01:37:03
◼
►
it is it worth $60,000 a year no but while we're you know open kimono life
01:37:10
◼
►
story porn and all on the table I went to college I did not drink I started to
01:37:16
◼
►
drink slightly while I was in college but didn't really start drinking until
01:37:22
◼
►
like my mid-20s. Yeah I actually had a fairly similar experience I vividly
01:37:27
◼
►
remember it was one day over the summer before I'm about to go to college I went
01:37:31
◼
►
to college at Virginia Tech and and my dad sits me down my dad. No just just to
01:37:35
◼
►
note nobody applauded for Virginia Tech. Thank you I know it's alright I'm the
01:37:40
◼
►
other guy it's fine no but uh so my dad sits me down my dad sits me down and he
01:37:43
◼
►
put something in front of me, I can't remember what it was, and he says, "You need to drink
01:37:47
◼
►
this." "Okay, you're going to drink more than one. What is it?" And I took a little sip
01:37:54
◼
►
and God knows what it was and I probably choked it up.
01:37:57
◼
►
How old were you?
01:37:58
◼
►
I was 18. Because I'd never really had booze before. And my dad basically sat me down and
01:38:02
◼
►
said, "You're getting fucking hammered tonight. So this way when you go to school, you know
01:38:06
◼
►
what this feels like and you will be okay."
01:38:10
◼
►
Casey drank 11 melon-teenies that night.
01:38:14
◼
►
It was easy on the teeny, too.
01:38:17
◼
►
Dad, why are you giving me melon-teenies?
01:38:19
◼
►
Shut up. Drink it.
01:38:20
◼
►
Did he also make you smoke a whole pack of cigarettes?
01:38:22
◼
►
No, no, no. None of that. None of that. None of that.
01:38:25
◼
►
But no, that was my first real drinking experience.
01:38:27
◼
►
And then I drank a little bit in college.
01:38:29
◼
►
And now supposedly drunk me is somewhere in the audience.
01:38:33
◼
►
Or so I'm told.
01:38:34
◼
►
Let's hear it for Drunk Casey out in the audience.
01:38:36
◼
►
The mystery tweeter.
01:38:38
◼
►
There used to be a drunk Gruber account, but then the guy stopped updating it.
01:38:44
◼
►
Yeah, cirrhosis.
01:38:45
◼
►
It took him.
01:38:49
◼
►
Pour one out for drunk Gruber.
01:38:56
◼
►
What he used to do is try to guess which tweets of mine I tweeted while intoxicated.
01:39:05
◼
►
And it was funny because he was pretty good, but not that good.
01:39:08
◼
►
It was like, you know what, it is pretty late, but I'm actually stone cold sober tonight,
01:39:11
◼
►
and I actually just tweeted that.
01:39:15
◼
►
Now, you never really were a drinker, is that right?
01:39:19
◼
►
No, you got it out of your system when you were in high school.
01:39:20
◼
►
Yeah, I got it out of my drink in high school, then it stopped.
01:39:24
◼
►
It pains me so deeply.
01:39:25
◼
►
Is that true?
01:39:26
◼
►
No, is that true?
01:39:27
◼
►
No, that's totally true.
01:39:28
◼
►
Like, in high school, we'd have the guy with the receding hairline get beer at the gas
01:39:30
◼
►
station, and we would all drink.
01:39:32
◼
►
Wait, so you knew Marco in high school?
01:39:33
◼
►
Zing. There is a function, there is an evolutionary niche for those people.
01:39:41
◼
►
Bold move for the guy holding Marco's microphone. Pretty good one though. I wasn't
01:39:50
◼
►
going to have Casey come out, I was just gonna, you know. I'm glad I did. Let's hear it for Casey with the Zing.
01:39:57
◼
►
I'm glad I've earned my keep after all. No, I did not drink a lick in high school.
01:40:02
◼
►
I had friends who did, and they'd have parties.
01:40:05
◼
►
And I was the official, just in case the cops show up, this is the guy who paid attention
01:40:10
◼
►
to Mr. Troika's class and knows how to deal with it guy.
01:40:13
◼
►
Yeah, write down Mr. Troika dream.
01:40:17
◼
►
Four to five.
01:40:18
◼
►
Yeah, that's a class.
01:40:19
◼
►
That's a, that's a, yeah, yeah.
01:40:20
◼
►
It's a semester long class.
01:40:21
◼
►
It's you talking about your dreams that you had about your high school teacher.
01:40:26
◼
►
So can we go back, can we explore what Drunk John was like?
01:40:29
◼
►
Like I, I never got drunk.
01:40:32
◼
►
I shouldn't be surprised by this but that's terrible.
01:40:36
◼
►
I just I envisioned like this really chipper happy like touchy-feely John
01:40:40
◼
►
like hey man give me a hug. It's all in your head. Yeah I know that's my dream
01:40:46
◼
►
that's my dream is meeting drunk John. What was the high school drinking
01:40:50
◼
►
situation like where you went? Was it like a go out in the woods type of
01:40:53
◼
►
situation? People's houses with parents weren't home totally. Right. What is wrong
01:40:58
◼
►
with those parents right I mean now that we're adults and we're the parents the
01:41:05
◼
►
idea that I would leave maybe see like if you were my son then I think I had
01:41:11
◼
►
them in my house too you know when you've got the kid who's gonna have a
01:41:14
◼
►
party when the parents go I bet that's exactly what my parents thought but they
01:41:17
◼
►
were wrong because it's not like I made the party it's like whose parents are at
01:41:20
◼
►
home okay everyone go there I did not think that we would relate on anything
01:41:26
◼
►
my mother was a she she she she met a man and he lived in Minnesota and so she
01:41:34
◼
►
would travel to visit him and she'd be like well the house is yours take care
01:41:39
◼
►
of it and I was very similar like she just trusted me what a bad idea it was
01:41:46
◼
►
it was part it was a party every time she left it was crazy and it was fun I'm
01:41:51
◼
►
I'm pretty sure because of those parties I was voted most well-rounded in high school.
01:41:58
◼
►
Like that's the only thing that I did.
01:41:59
◼
►
I didn't do sports, so I think that was what it was for me.
01:42:03
◼
►
So there's actually, so I was left alone all summer for most high school summers.
01:42:09
◼
►
That's just because they forgot about you.
01:42:12
◼
►
And I am actually such a nerd that I didn't do anything bad.
01:42:16
◼
►
I'm actually more of a nerd than John Syracuse on something.
01:42:19
◼
►
You had nicer friends.
01:42:20
◼
►
People were bad influence on me. I wouldn't have done it on my own. I was roped into it.
01:42:24
◼
►
Oh sure, yeah. It's their fault.
01:42:26
◼
►
You were left at home for the whole summer?
01:42:28
◼
►
Yeah. My mom is a teacher. She would go upstate New York for the summer and I would go when I was younger.
01:42:34
◼
►
But then once I got older, I didn't want to go up there. I wanted to stay with my friends in high school.
01:42:38
◼
►
So yeah, I was like 17, 18, alone all summer. It was awesome.
01:42:42
◼
►
And you just stayed home drinking soda and playing video games?
01:42:45
◼
►
Pretty much. Yeah.
01:42:48
◼
►
I was doing all this crap, programming, and all that.
01:42:50
◼
►
Yeah, that's how I got started programming.
01:42:52
◼
►
It was instead of having a social life, just like probably many of you out there, I was
01:43:01
◼
►
So at that point, you were in college, and then you went to the actual college to not
01:43:05
◼
►
really do anything productive.
01:43:07
◼
►
So that was your college.
01:43:08
◼
►
Well, yeah, in college, I just found new ways to be a nerd.
01:43:13
◼
►
Just more, more, you know, I drank some in college.
01:43:17
◼
►
You know, I have a very vivid memory from my freshman year of college of -- I'm in the
01:43:24
◼
►
dorm and my roommate was a guy I went to high school with. He was actually the guy who told
01:43:29
◼
►
me back in 10th grade to put Drexel on the thing. And we, you know, went and I didn't
01:43:33
◼
►
want to take a random roommate. That seemed like a sucker move. So I was like, "Oh, why
01:43:37
◼
►
we should be roommates?" You know, we weren't best friends. But I knew I could live with
01:43:40
◼
►
the guy. He pledged a fraternity. A lot of the guys on my floor pledged fraternities
01:43:44
◼
►
and they went to these fraternity parties.
01:43:46
◼
►
And I remember very specifically what the game was.
01:43:49
◼
►
I stayed to play Leisure Suit Larry.
01:43:52
◼
►
8-Bit Boobs.
01:43:56
◼
►
Right, and I felt like I was being pretty badass.
01:43:59
◼
►
There were boobs in the game.
01:44:02
◼
►
4 to 5, 5 to 6, where are we? 5 to 6?
01:44:05
◼
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Leisure Suit Larry.
01:44:07
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8-Bit Boobs.
01:44:11
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We're getting late on time. I don't know. Do you guys have anything else? Any more stuff?
01:44:20
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All right. Why don't we wrap it up? I would like to do some thanks. I have a lot of people,
01:44:26
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well, no, a couple people that I would like to thank. I would like to thank Megan here
01:44:31
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at Mezzanine and the whole staff at Mezzanine. What a great place this is. We did this show
01:44:38
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show here last year. I hope we do it again next year. But what a great place. It's just
01:44:43
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a great facility, but the staff and the bar, everything's great. So thanks to Megan and
01:44:48
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everybody here at Mezzanine. Jesse Char, she helped produce the show. She's here in San
01:44:53
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Francisco. She runs a place, she runs an app design development shop, Pacific Helm, PacificHelm.com.
01:45:04
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They do great work. They do such good work, it's probably hard to get in on them. But
01:45:09
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if you need to check out -- need somebody to help you design or develop an app, check
01:45:13
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out Pacific Helm. Great stuff. I want to give a special thank you to someone
01:45:18
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who I should have thanked a couple episodes ago, but Caleb Sexton. Caleb Sexton is here.
01:45:24
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He's helping with the audio, make sure everything sounds good. But he's at Mule Radio. And I
01:45:32
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should have thanked him a couple episodes when I did the show with Mike Monteiro on
01:45:35
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the last show that I did while the show was on Mule. But Caleb has been helping me with
01:45:41
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the talk show ever since I've taken it solo and everything good about the audio quality
01:45:47
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and the editing and finding funny little things to stick into the audio for two years. 99.97%
01:45:55
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of that is from Caleb Sexton. And I should have thanked him two weeks ago, but let me
01:46:00
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thank him tonight when he's here. Let's give it up for Caleb Sexton, my friend. I want
01:46:08
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to thank our sponsors, Microsoft for sponsoring this big event. Microsoft, check out Azure
01:46:13
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Mobile Services. If you haven't looked at them, they're great. Market Circle with their
01:46:19
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great apps, Daylight and Billings Pro. And probably the biggest applause here, but our
01:46:26
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good friends at uh...
01:46:30
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who sponsored the bar? I forget.
01:46:32
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The email company. The cool guys who make it easy to do an email to a lot of
01:46:37
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people. I don't get it.
01:46:38
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Oh yeah, MailChimp.
01:46:40
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No, but let's hear it for MailChimp.
01:46:51
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shooting video tonight. I don't know when it's going to come out. We're going to hopefully release
01:46:54
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this at some point but uh...
01:46:56
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couple of guys here from they're putting together a documentary called app the
01:47:02
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human story and it's a documentary about the rise of apps as like a thing that we
01:47:08
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care about and like even probably just like a word like the fact that everybody
01:47:11
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like in the developed world knows what an app is now they have a website app
01:47:16
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documentary.com they're gonna do a Kickstarter soon it's not open yet but
01:47:21
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it's a really cool idea for a documentary I think it's really sort of
01:47:24
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story of the decade in tech. They're here shooting video so we have an archive of the
01:47:31
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show. So let's hear it for them. Stay tuned to Daring Fireball. I'll tweet when they have
01:47:35
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their Kickstarter. And then last but not least, you four gentlemen, Marco Arment, Casey List,
01:47:43
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John Siracusa, and Scott Simpson. Thank you. And last but not least, thanks to all of you
01:47:52
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for coming blows my mind that so many people come to see us be up here and be
01:47:57
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dummies clapper John's cool purple shirt he's branching out give it to him what a
01:48:04
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delightful man John Gruber clapper John he's the best doctor's man right
01:48:11
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provost I think that's the end of the show we'll call that we'll say the show
01:48:20
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over. We're in the post-grip land. I think we're technically supposed to be out of
01:48:23
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here by 9. It's 10 of... you know, you guys want to have another... I don't know if they
01:48:27
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close the bar. I don't know, but we... you don't have to rush out. Let's calm and
01:48:33
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orderly. If you want to chill, if you want to chug another drink, have another drink.
01:48:37
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It's all on MailChimp, but thank you for coming, but we got to get out of here 10,
01:48:43
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15 minutes. Thanks.
01:48:46
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(upbeat music)
01:48:49
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♪ Yeah, it's like she said ♪
01:48:52
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♪ Tell me more how it's gonna be ♪