0:00:00You still there?
0:00:01Oh yeah.
0:00:02You know what I did?
0:00:03Oh, you sound so much better.
0:00:04You know what I did?
0:00:05I plugged it into a different USB port.
0:00:07I think this is probably the last episode I'll record using this old Air.
0:00:13Oh, are you going to go to the new iMac?
0:00:16No, well yeah, I guess I should.
0:00:18I don't know why I don't record using the iMac.
0:00:20I don't know.
0:00:21Yeah.
0:00:22The Air is powerful enough to do that?
0:00:25It's probably why the show sounds like shit.
0:00:27No, you know what? And I actually know that this this old MacBook Air that I've used I I do it because I'm in some ways I'm a sentimental idiot and I think I've recorded like every episode of the talk show for I don't know at least the last three four years using that air so I want to keep doing
0:00:45doing. Yeah, I mean you said... It makes no technical sense. No, none at all, but you said not too long ago
0:00:51how in baseball, as baseball fans, there are people who are into the numbers and people who are into the story
0:00:56and that you're a story guy. Right. Right. And yeah, you know, the MacPulgaras got a story. When I stopped
0:01:02using my Rode, I was pretty nervous because I was like, I've been using this since 43 folders, MacBreak Weekly,
0:01:07like, you know, it's so dumb. I'm just changing to a better mic. Why would that matter? It shouldn't, but I
0:01:14I felt like a little bit disloyal.
0:01:16What did you switch to?
0:01:18Well, I tried a couple of things.
0:01:19I'm using a Shure SM7B now.
0:01:24It's super annoying because I got to go through this PreSonus
0:01:28thing.
0:01:29Oh, I don't want that.
0:01:31I think Marco was telling me about that.
0:01:33I don't want to do that.
0:01:35You know, I think I just listen to too much rock music.
0:01:38When people have these conversations about stuff,
0:01:40I just don't hear it.
0:01:42I don't hear what they're talking about.
0:01:43And it makes me feel like a charlatan.
0:01:46Like I don't, I mean I can notice in production values
0:01:50like when like the public radio show with a budget
0:01:52sounds different than three guys talking about Linux.
0:01:55But like I don't notice that much about mics and stuff.
0:01:58Do you?
0:01:59- No, I don't.
0:02:00- Yeah, you don't listen to a lot of podcasts though.
0:02:02- Oh, I mean I don't listen to a lot,
0:02:04but I listen to enough.
0:02:05But when I do, I'm listening with earbuds.
0:02:08So I don't think, and a lot of times I would say
0:02:13easily 85% of the time I'm listening to podcasts I'm walking through the city so
0:02:20there's so much noise you know it's the quality of the mic I mean I hope you
0:02:26know I I understand why people make it sound as good as they can but I could
0:02:30never hear the difference between microphones did you uh never get your
0:02:35driver's license back I didn't lose my driver's license today you probably
0:02:41don't remember it was on an episode of the talk show with Dan and you had the holiday party.
0:02:45It's my favorite episode of the talk show and you talked about how they took your license away.
0:02:52You don't remember you probably don't remember that. It was the holiday season. It's a lot to
0:02:55remember. Yeah I don't remember. Why did they take my license away? Oh I made it up. I made it up.
0:03:01That's right now I remember. Oh God now I remember. Because you had so many points.
0:03:07Right I had so many points. And you refused to go to traffic school and Dan you know to Dan's credit
0:03:11He played the entire episode straight. It was really funny. Oh, that was a good that was HR HR
0:03:16fluffy puff, you know and I got I
0:03:20Should write that down for the show notes. I got I
0:03:23Think most people got it, but I definitely got a fair amount of email from listeners who were telling me. Hey, you know
0:03:29Maybe you ought to get some help
0:03:33So, you know, that's not funny. It's not funny racking up all those points, you know
0:03:39You know how that hurts the government?
0:03:41- Well, they're like, you're gonna learn a lesson
0:03:44when you hit a kid crossing the street or something.
0:03:46- For Christ's sakes, John, you got a kid.
0:03:48Jesus Christ.
0:03:49I'm so tired of words.
0:03:52I'm just gonna stop saying things.
0:03:54It's just, I give up.
0:03:56I give up, I'm just gonna make grunts
0:03:57and maybe sing a humble little tune.
0:03:59But no matter what you say,
0:04:02I made a crack last night on the Twitter
0:04:03about how I wish Netflix, in streaming five seasons of MASH,
0:04:08the five good seasons of mesh,
0:04:09how I wish they would have it without the laugh track.
0:04:13And oh my God, I got so many responses from people,
0:04:16on the one hand telling me how that's physically impossible
0:04:19since it's hard coded.
0:04:20And then other people going,
0:04:22"Sir, did you know that you could err the DVD tracks?"
0:04:25I was like, yeah, you know what?
0:04:26I know all of that, I know all of that.
0:04:28I was just making a joke.
0:04:29It's just, it's an ephemeral comment.
0:04:31It's okay, everything's gonna be fine.
0:04:33You must get that like to the 10th power,
0:04:35especially like when you're being jokey about
0:04:37sports, technology. You must get so many
0:04:41wackadoodle responses from people.
0:04:44It goes and flows. I can never predict though.
0:04:46Like I'll
0:04:47post some kind of, you know, absurd tweet and I think, "Oh God, I'm gonna get so many
0:04:51people who take this seriously."
0:04:53And then there's nothing. And then I throw one out that I'm not even worried about and
0:04:56everybody, you know. Jon, there is absolutely no way
0:05:00to know.
0:05:01I make a lot of news-related "Your Mother" jokes and every time I expect
0:05:06incredible blowback. Nothing. That's fine. That's awesome. I make one crack about
0:05:10Mash having a laugh track and like the entire peanut gallery rises as one. But
0:05:15you know it's it's good. I'm just tired of words.
0:05:18What was the deal with Mash's laugh track? The way I recall it is season one
0:05:22there was no laugh track and it was a ratings it was it was precipitous that
0:05:28it was like the ratings were so bad that it was on the border of not coming back
0:05:32for another season and that they one of the one of the changes they made between
0:05:36season one season two is they added a laugh track yeah I don't I remember
0:05:41having read because you know it most people who enjoy the mass show it's a
0:05:46pretty hot topic because you can on the DVDs I don't own the DVDs I hate DVDs I
0:05:52hate physical media I don't want them in my house I mean that's me that's my
0:05:55Court of Last Resort like I've got I've got all the James Bond films like
0:05:58everybody you know I bought that hundred dollar blu-ray package I got that I got
0:06:03the Godfather and then I think I got a Dora or something like that but that's about it
0:06:07and but yeah they had an alternate track where you could have the audio without the laugh
0:06:12track I don't remember exactly how it happened except I mean think about the time what is
0:06:16that 72 73 something like that where every every like three camera sitcom had a live
0:06:23audience like you got your all in the families and stuff and I think you know it probably
0:06:29seemed a little dead to people and some of the humor is probably was probably a
0:06:33little bit dry it's just that it suddenly became not very dry when
0:06:37there's a very obvious laugh on it I just I really hate laugh tracks yeah
0:06:40they just they drive me crazy and you can actually go and you know if you know
0:06:44where to go I know you don't do these things but you can find copies of it and
0:06:48it is actually a pretty different experience you go watch my favorite
0:06:51episode Abyssinia Henry the one where Henry leaves you remember that episode
0:06:56It's the end of season three.
0:06:58I'm sure that it's...
0:07:00It's the one where he dies, he gets shot out of the air, and it's the episode right before Trapper leaves.
0:07:06It's the end of the season, and it's got that amazing scene at the end where Radar walks into the operating room and reads the notice that Henry's dead.
0:07:14It's incredibly moving. And watching that episode without the laugh track is a real different thing, because it's one of the great episodes of TV.
0:07:21and you know you know it's good maybe in a way that people at that time wouldn't
0:07:26know it's good so it feels a little insulting you know to have to put all of
0:07:30that on it's not super loud like on some shows like 90 shows where the left track
0:07:35got so loud but yeah but it always felt to me even as a kid and and growing up
0:07:41in an era when all sitcoms had laugh tracks or as live studio audience and
0:07:46even though one's at live studio audience you know that they were the
0:07:48the laughter pretty loud sometimes yeah it always seemed incongruous because it
0:07:54clearly was not shot in front of the live studio audience it was shot on real
0:07:58you know like a soundstage yeah like you know in that case of mash it's like
0:08:03they're shooting it outdoors there's not people on bleachers there right and the
0:08:07production values were always such I mean clearly in hindsight I mean
0:08:10everybody knew it was a smash hit eventually it became a smash hit you
0:08:13know after a couple seasons and it was you know like it was always like I think
0:08:18it was always like number one or number two was 60 minutes you know it was
0:08:21always like a fight which was gonna be the top-rated show of the week and at a
0:08:24time. 60 minutes man that was a juggernaut remember that was just like almost always
0:08:27it was it was 60 minutes or something else for a little while it was always 60
0:08:31minutes. It was always number one or number two it felt like your civic
0:08:34obligation as an American was Sunday night at 7 everybody you know from 7 to
0:08:3970 would sit down and watch 60 minutes. Mm-hmm yeah the other thing that's funny
0:08:44about mash is and this is you know it sounds nasty I don't mean it to be but
0:08:48it's funny the that you know like three of the stars of that show left because
0:08:55they wanted a better deal or they wanted more attention you know Wayne Rogers as
0:08:59trapper mclean Stevenson you know he was done with it and later on Larry Linville
0:09:03had decided he was done with the Frank Burns character and you know none of them
0:09:08ever found anything approaching that again it's such a bummer oh what was the
0:09:13guy who replaced Frank Burns Winchester right yeah he was yeah and he was there
0:09:19was tough it was a tough one because what you could tell Winchester was
0:09:21actually a good surgeon yes we knew Frank was a you know it was a good show
0:09:30it was good that your it is interesting it's interesting in so many ways it was
0:09:34a good movie that started it and then they you know didn't have any of the
0:09:38any of the same actors from the movie come.
0:09:41- We had Gary Burghoff was in the movie.
0:09:44- Oh, Radar.
0:09:45- Radar, yeah.
0:09:46And the first season is much closer
0:09:49in the kind of anarchic spirit.
0:09:52- Yeah.
0:09:53- It's much closer to the film.
0:09:55But yeah, it got, you know, like anything though,
0:09:57I think they kind of, they started this great thing.
0:10:00There was a great episode where Hawkeye writes to his dad.
0:10:03There's an episode called Dear Dad.
0:10:04- I remember that one, I remember that.
0:10:05- It was really good.
0:10:06It's from like, I don't know, first second season.
0:10:08And but then they did like, remember then they had like,
0:10:10Dear Peg, and then they had Dear Father Mulcahy writes
0:10:15and eventually, Alan Arbus, remember the psychiatrist,
0:10:19he's writing to Sigmund Freud at some point,
0:10:22like an open letter or something, it got really bananas.
0:10:25But it was a good show, I mean, it was really of its time.
0:10:28But by the end, it was just, it was so insufferable.
0:10:31Even as a flaming liberal, I can't watch that show.
0:10:33It's such a pantomime of, you know, politics.
0:10:36- I haven't seen it in a long time.
0:10:37I don't remember it petering out at toward the end and I remember the last episode was oh man was a tobacco with the chicken
0:10:44Oh, it's just and Hawkeye still haunts me still haunts me committed or something and yeah cuz the chicken chicken
0:10:51I don't know. I was always obsessed. That's another like lifelong obsession obsession for me and like a minor one is
0:10:57Final episodes of shows I'll watch the last episode of a show that I've never even watched just to see how they you know
0:11:03I like a last episode
0:11:04Yeah, and I I watched mash I you know, I watched it I watched the reruns, you know
0:11:10It was a staple in our household like flipping through the stations like waiting for dinner to be ready
0:11:15Everybody could agree we'd watch mash, you know, and the reruns were you know, like 530 or something like that. So it was
0:11:21You know and the reruns were still were on while the show was still wrapping up I think and absolutely absolutely
0:11:27Yeah, and I think their last episode for a long time was the highest rated like non
0:11:34Bowl type yeah definitely was yeah yeah it was like a national event and
0:11:39everybody was like what the hell was that kind of went on yeah how does it
0:11:46play now like watching any of those episodes with Jamie farce character what
0:11:53was his name clinger clinger clinger how could I forget that so clear for anybody
0:11:58who isn't familiar clinger was played by Jamie far and he did not want to serve
0:12:03in the army this is who doesn't know he was drafted he was drafted with these
0:12:08kids and he knew that there was something that you could get if you were
0:12:11mentally unsound to serve in the army you could get a dis get a section 8 or
0:12:16something section 8 so he's always angling for section 8 so how do you
0:12:19convince the army that you're crazy you dress like Carmen Miranda you're women's
0:12:23clothes right so he wore a woman's women's clothing all the time and you
0:12:28know it didn't work everybody knew what his stick was but he never let up on it
0:12:33so he still he still did his job that's the right he showed up just like a nurse
0:12:37but then he was a pretty good nurse that's part of the problem you guys I
0:12:40think you should undermine the basic task that you're doing or do them in it's
0:12:44such a bananas way that it's clear that you're crazy you know what I'm saying
0:12:47right hey you know it's it's okay I think the earlier seasons are better you
0:12:52know it's so funny with TV shows it always takes them a few episodes or a
0:12:55season to find their legs and then you know things kind of seem to go for a
0:12:59while I can't imagine doing a TV show it just seems so exhausting. Oh totally of
0:13:04any kind. Yeah. Whether it's you know like like like well like the this very day
0:13:11like yes last night was as we record yesterday was the day Jon Stewart
0:13:15announced that he was going to step down from the Daily Show and then it's like
0:13:20he said something during the show did you watch I watched and it was like no
0:13:23what'd you say I think he said he's been doing it for 17 years and I looked at I
0:13:26I was watching with Amy and I was like, "Well, that can't be." And then I was like thinking about it. I was like, "Holy shit."
0:13:30And then I'm like, "Well, of course he's gonna step down. He's been doing this show four days a week for 17 years."
0:13:36Yeah, and I know, I mean talking to in particular Hodgman and Rob Corddry about it, people
0:13:43I know who've been on that show and work with him all say the same thing.
0:13:46Which is that, first of all, he's a very nice guy and you know,
0:13:49he's a good guy, but also that he is one of the hardest, he's the hardest working person in the building.
0:13:56So when Hajim will go on there he would have like kind of a prepared bit and then I mean, you know
0:14:00He's I don't think he was the showrunner, but he he was involved in like every rewrite up until camp
0:14:06I mean like he was making everybody in the room better on every episode
0:14:10Can you imagine doing that for over 15 years like what that would take out of you?
0:14:13No, and I think that I have trouble ordering groceries and and this guy is doing that every single night
0:14:19think it's very clear to that he you know and
0:14:25it put it in sports ball terms he's a good he was like a good passer in
0:14:29basketball like he was not concerned obviously he's the host of the show he's
0:14:33you know the one who does the whole first half single-handedly on on air at
0:14:37least obviously with the help of writers but as soon as anybody else is on
0:14:42whether it's a bit at the desk like a Hodgman thing or anything else it's he
0:14:47is so a hundred percent concentrated on making that other person look as good as
0:14:53as they possibly can and make sure that they get
0:14:56as many of the laughs as they possibly can.
0:14:59- I totally agree and I mean, you can look to our hero
0:15:02as like the paragon of that.
0:15:03I mean, Carson was so good, whoever that was,
0:15:08like whether that was Burt Reynolds
0:15:10or whether that was some grandmother
0:15:12that had done something crazy, he was so generous.
0:15:15I mean, I think even if he wasn't loving,
0:15:17I think Fred de Cordova would be the one
0:15:19who kind of stepped in and go,
0:15:20"Okay, we're ready to go to commercial."
0:15:22Carson would sometimes give him the hand signal.
0:15:24But he was there and fully committed
0:15:28to whatever was happening
0:15:29and wanted to make that person look good
0:15:31and it made everybody look good.
0:15:32- Yeah, exactly.
0:15:34So I was surprised, I have to say,
0:15:36just to commit to that the whole late night shuffling,
0:15:39I was a little surprised when Letterman announced
0:15:42his retirement that Jon Stewart didn't get that,
0:15:47or maybe he didn't want it.
0:15:50if he was thinking about stepping down from this,
0:15:53you know, on a daily basis,
0:15:54maybe that's just it, he didn't wanna, you know,
0:15:56he just didn't wanna do a daily show anymore.
0:15:58I always thought that Jon Stewart would be an excellent,
0:16:01you know, like Letterman's style show host.
0:16:06- Yeah, yeah, I agree.
0:16:08And, you know, it's funny to think about
0:16:09like what the world was like when Letterman started
0:16:11and it would be impossible to explain to somebody today,
0:16:15probably in the same way that Steve Allen,
0:16:17like to us, Steve Allen seems like an old guy.
0:16:19But Steve Allen's show broke the mold.
0:16:22I mean, there'd never been anybody on TV
0:16:24quite like Steve Allen, who was so kind of, you know,
0:16:26cultural and witty and smart,
0:16:29but also would do such crazy stunts
0:16:32and that had a huge influence on Letterman.
0:16:34And then Letterman comes along and, you know,
0:16:36they had that crazy deal with Carson.
0:16:38You know about all this, right?
0:16:39Like, they had a guy from Carson's production team there
0:16:44who basically made sure that he's like,
0:16:47"Okay, here's your show, here's the rules.
0:16:48Like you can't book anybody who's like one of Johnny's regulars.
0:16:52You know Johnny gets the first bite of any of these particular apples.
0:16:55There's all kinds of rules but that was a constraint that he worked and brought in Larry
0:16:59Budd Millman or he brought in Chris Elliott and that made the show so much more fun and
0:17:04so much weirder than if that awkward young David Letterman was trying to interview you
0:17:08know Madonna.
0:17:09Yeah I think most famously there were restrictions on the length of the monologue and so.
0:17:15Oh because that's Johnny's thing.
0:17:16it was Johnny's thing and so like on the old Letterman show
0:17:19Letterman would come out and do three jokes and they were so perfunctory like the the bit was almost like his complete disdain for the
0:17:27Monologue he would just come out and do three
0:17:29Really clipped perfunctory jokes and then it was on to the desk and the rest
0:17:35And you know the part that made it the part that made it funny every night was how terrible he made it seem like he thought
0:17:41It was like that was a terrible joke and him adjusting his tie and like the kind of face
0:17:46You know, that's what made it funny, right? So like they took the restrictions from Carson productions on the monologue and
0:17:51And I think eventually like I think once it settled in and it was very clear
0:17:56I didn't I don't think it took long for Carson and his people to realize that Letterman was no threat to Carson
0:18:02Like there was no way that that Letterman was ever going to steal his job, right?
0:18:08Right, like it's just not that type of person and you know, he was fine
0:18:11You know, I think you know, I famously he wanted it and when when the time came in when Johnny retired
0:18:16But he was never going to backstab him if his ratings had you know, they fight he's never seen
0:18:22He's never seen anything like completely grateful
0:18:24Like when he tells the story and I guess the first time he was on and got called over to the couch
0:18:29Like he honestly he still sounds like a kid like what a what a moving moment that was for him to get to do that
0:18:35Yeah, so I think that eventually I don't think it took long where if if he had wanted to do longer monologues
0:18:40I don't really think that the phone was going to ring in the Carson people were going to say hey,
0:18:44you know, you were, you know, you know, you're only supposed to do two minutes of monologue
0:18:47and you did 230 last night. But I think that they just embraced that anti monologue, you know,
0:18:53that that just became part of the signature of the show. Oh, yeah. And I mean, that's a beat it
0:18:57to death. But I think about the stuff that I remember, when I would hear somebody was going
0:19:01to be on, I would get so excited. And certainly there's famous scenes where like Drew Barrymore
0:19:06acted all crazy or Crispin Glover was all you know nuts that one time and tried to
0:19:10think he was gonna kick him those are famous but what do you really remember
0:19:13from the first three years I mean you you remember people like Harvey Pekar
0:19:17you remember people like Charles Grodin you remember you remember people being
0:19:21on there who or like Jeff Jeff Altman I love Jeff Altman like he would be so
0:19:27very 20-pound butt steak you know and that's what made the show and then like
0:19:33the prancing fluids and all that stuff that was the product of that probation
0:19:38like is what made the show good it would not have lasted as long if it had been
0:19:41just another show Harvey P car I haven't thought about him in maybe 20 years so
0:19:46Charles Grodin it was a bit yeah whenever Charles Grodin was on Carson or
0:19:50lettering you got that it was kind of a bit but Harvey P car genuinely seemed to
0:19:53hate Dave and hate the idea of being on the show at all right and was just a
0:19:58miserable person quite frankly it was not very attractive either so it wasn't
0:20:02really like you know people like looking at him and so I think any normal talk
0:20:07show would be like I don't know who booked him but they're fired and make
0:20:11sure we never have him back again whereas the letterman people like let's
0:20:13have this guy back on every couple months. Oh absolutely and it was true
0:20:17for I mean I think Jeff Altman is you know one of his great repeat guests I
0:20:22mean he would he loved having Jeff Altman on partly because I think I you
0:20:25know I have to tell you if you don't already know about this I'm cribbing
0:20:28some of this from a podcast have you heard the podcast the Carson podcast? No.
0:20:32Oh, you should know about this.
0:20:33There's a show this guy in LA does, this comedian in LA.
0:20:36I think it's called the Carson Podcast.
0:20:37And the whole podcast is him interviewing
0:20:40people who have some kind of an interesting relationship
0:20:42with the Carson show.
0:20:43Oh, shit.
0:20:44Yeah, it was great.
0:20:45So people like Jeff Altman, people like Bob Einstein,
0:20:49Super Dave, just all kinds of people.
0:20:52And then George Carlin's daughter was on.
0:20:54But it's a great insight into what you and I know,
0:20:58which is what an inscrutable person he was.
0:21:01everybody says the same thing.
0:21:02It was great, it was the greatest honor you ever had,
0:21:04but nobody, it was like two or three people
0:21:06who ever felt like they legitimately knew Johnny Carson.
0:21:09- Yeah, did you read the biography that is--
0:21:11- No, I saw that, we talked about that,
0:21:12I think one time we talked about that PBS show.
0:21:14- Oh, that was great, the PBS Masters episode.
0:21:17- That was terrific, yeah.
0:21:19- That was the best thing,
0:21:20and they didn't really try to get to the person.
0:21:24I mean, they acknowledged it,
0:21:25and they talked to so many people.
0:21:29was such a great thing the PBS master thing but it was kind of like almost
0:21:33like Citizen Kane where everybody like knew you know had the same regard for
0:21:37this purse but never really felt like they knew what made him tick you know
0:21:41and so anyway you might check out that podcast it's it's uh it's pretty good
0:21:45the book I forget is Henry something let me look it up here Carson biography
0:21:52Carson Henry let's see sounds like he'd you know he'd wrapped the show he Henry
0:21:58Michigan
0:21:59Okay, there we go
0:22:01And it's something he would never talk before the show there would be just a little bit right?
0:22:05It was just nobody he would not talk to the guests
0:22:07I mean he would get in the car and drive away and that was it. Yeah
0:22:09The the Henry Bush Kim book is uncomfortable to me because clearly it's a betrayal of
0:22:18Trust like there's no way he should be telling you store. I mean, it's unauthorized. Oh, yeah, definitely
0:22:25It's I mean, how could it be authorized? I mean Carson's dead
0:22:28But I mean, I don't think his family would have wanted it and I think if you had asked Johnny while he was alive
0:22:32Would you like Henry Bushkin to you know, write a book?
0:22:35Certainly not right, but on the other hand he did write it
0:22:38So I read it, you know, but I kind of felt I did I felt a little icky the whole time
0:22:42But there's some crazy stories in there. There's one story where I
0:22:45Forget if it was his wife or it was just a girlfriend
0:22:50But I think I might have been his wife and he Johnny thought is one of his you know
0:22:54Earlier wives this is when the show was still in New York and he lived in New York
0:22:56He figured out his wife was running around on him and he wanted to break into the
0:23:01Apartment it was her apartment, but he was paying for it. So he said it so it's got to be Lee
0:23:06I'm paying for it
0:23:07so it's legal we're breaking in and he got Henry but his took his lawyer with him and like two guys who could only really
0:23:14Be described as toughs
0:23:16thugs yeah and like and Henry Bushkin says in the book that the one guy even had a gun tucked in his belt and
0:23:23They go over there and like break into the place and find you know find evidence that she was running around on him and God
0:23:29But you know, it's like stories that you know, you don't expect your lawyer to write a book about that
0:23:33That's why you take your look. It's his lawyer that wrote the book. Yeah, it's his law. Oh my god
0:23:39That's that's not cricket man
0:23:43No, it's a good read. It's a good quick read, but it's
0:23:46Requesting from the library right now. Yeah, this is a guy, you know who needed some money, I think
0:23:52- Sure.
0:23:54- But he was, you know, but I guess the thing
0:23:56that made me think about it is that he was obviously,
0:23:58he was more than just his lawyer though.
0:24:00He became as close a friend as anybody could to him.
0:24:03They played tennis together, they were both tennis nuts.
0:24:06And they used to travel to, I remember that Johnny did this
0:24:10'cause I remember I used to watch tennis on TV sometimes.
0:24:12But Johnny would always, like for years,
0:24:14had an annual trip where he would go to Wimbledon.
0:24:16And Henry Bushkin and his wife went with him.
0:24:18It was, you know, like Johnny and his wife
0:24:20Henry Bushkin and his wife every year for like 15 years they went to England
0:24:25for like two or three weeks so I mean they were definitely close but even then
0:24:29even being that close that you vacationed with Johnny Carson for a
0:24:33couple of weeks every year it's like he still clearly didn't really know him that
0:24:36well and it yeah totally I think Pat McCormick the comic Pat McCormick who I
0:24:39think it worked on the show and was on a lot also was another one but even in
0:24:44interviews I think Pat McCormick I think was on that podcast but it's a lot like
0:24:48when you hear people talk about Sinatra you know where they're all talking about
0:24:51mr. Sinatra and like this deference like he'll come back from the grave and get
0:24:54you whacked like this there's still a lot of deference to Johnny and a desire
0:24:59to keep his legacy you know clean to the extent possible yeah I almost feel I
0:25:03mean you know not having ever seen the guy in person but my impression is maybe
0:25:08that like he just had was like a one in a one in a billion freak where the real
0:25:14Johnny Carson was the one who was on for 60 minutes in front of a camera sitting
0:25:19at a desk like that really was him and that it was the other 23 hours of his
0:25:23life where there was it was just nothing oh yeah I mean he's like he's like a
0:25:27comic book character right I mean you know where it's almost like Bruce Wayne
0:25:31is the secret I you know what I mean it's like Batman is the real guy in some
0:25:35ways and breathing is yeah exactly right and I feel like that might have been
0:25:39Johnny Carson and I feel like you know that's what made him so inscrutable and
0:25:44and off you know off camera yeah let's take a break I'll take a break and I'm
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0:28:12really cool I'm really proud of that guy and envious and I kind of hate him a
0:28:16little bit our friend Matt Alexander yeah what he's what he's doing is
0:28:20amazing like what he's done in such a short period of time I think he's about
0:28:2414 years old and he's half English so he's gotten past that and it's
0:28:30still astonishing to me like what that guy has managed to do that you know when
0:28:35he first described these projects to me and it just seems like there's more and
0:28:38more coming out all the time you know I was like well that's you know it's kind
0:28:41of cool it kind of sounds like a store like a small store but it's been a big
0:28:47hit it's it's really frustrating yeah and you wish you could do something like
0:28:51I do because I feel like I don't know I like it because it's real I feel I the
0:28:59things that impressed me as people come up with new ideas for businesses and and
0:29:03you know I like the ones that have something that you can touch the way we
0:29:09gotta buy a by film for your virtual camera I think it drives you nuts though
0:29:15right like that's not really that's not really a company I would say I would to
0:29:20actually say that the spectrum of the things that I tend to be most interested
0:29:24in are on the one side are real physical things like somebody who's making iPhone
0:29:29docks out of blocks of wood right I mean not all of them I don't like them all
0:29:33but I mean you know something like that where you're making a real thing and
0:29:38you're doing it real way and then the ones I like least would have to be the
0:29:41virtual fake real-world constraints you know the some of the some of the kinds
0:29:47services that are out there are so weird as I get more and more cynical about
0:29:54everything and a little bit more frisky about things like privacy like I you
0:29:58just see stuff coming down the lane you're like really like that's there's
0:30:01this thing remember every block remember did you get that sure that was Stephen
0:30:06Johnson and Wilson I think Wilson minor worked on that but it was a really
0:30:09amazing service super clean beautiful website that would basically aggregate
0:30:14all kinds of mostly public information about things like police activity, safety,
0:30:19I mean anything that you you couldn't care less for any neighborhood except
0:30:23your own but in your neighborhood you really care and it's incredible like I
0:30:26went in and I saw one time I called the cops about something and I could find
0:30:29that on the website it was really really cool but I think they contracted to be
0:30:33in only a few contracted as in like kind of sucked down to be just in a few
0:30:37cities now these other ones cropping up my wife got me to get on this one in our
0:30:41neighborhood. It's just it's so annoying. It's one of those things where you you
0:30:46sign up and you got to like give them tons of information. They want your phone
0:30:50number. They want to send a postcard to your house to verify that you you're you
0:30:53fine and then they automatically put your address on the website and then
0:30:57every page you're on there are call to actions and pop-ups telling you to go
0:31:02invite more people. It asks you to like you know bring in all of your on the one
0:31:06hand they're real careful about making sure who you are but then it's one of
0:31:09those remember like path kind of thing where they're like now don't you want to
0:31:12install and bring in all of your contacts and your Facebook people and
0:31:14it's like I am increasingly super uncomfortable with that as a business
0:31:18model it's gross as soon as they asked me for it I had just closed the window I
0:31:23immediately think well that's your business model and then I'm grossed out
0:31:26yeah yeah and I mean there's some kinds of things like say what you will about
0:31:29Google I mean like opening that Google app especially like when I'm out of town
0:31:33I was out of town last week it still kind of blows my mind how smart Google
0:31:37is, I know they're Google, but if there's anybody out there who is providing some value
0:31:42for the nonsense they do, you gotta give them credit. Like, "Here's the city you're traveling
0:31:45to. There's the temperature. Hey, here's your flight that just came in via email." That
0:31:50kind of stuff, I wish they were better with the privacy stuff in some ways, but that's
0:31:55a real value. They've done something very innovative to be able to do that at scale.
0:31:59But you can just feel on some of these websites where you just tell that they're young, it's
0:32:02a new company and it's all about building the user base and then leveraging as much
0:32:08personal information as possible. I don't know, it's kind of a boring thing to get into,
0:32:11but I find that really kind of gross and frustrating. I feel like enough of my stuff is out there.
0:32:16I don't need to go sign up for free services that are going to do that.
0:32:22you see there was an article I forget the guy's name a couple weeks ago on on
0:32:33Google the the the trade-off between if you if you give Google everything they
0:32:39want to know about you and buy into their stuff you get a tremendous
0:32:44experience out of it like if you've got an Android phone and you use the whole
0:32:49ecosystem and the apps right that kind of thing right like you know and like
0:32:53you said like and it definitely works I mean I don't buy into this it's
0:32:57certainly come a long way right but it's cool stuff like if you're using Gmail
0:33:05and you let you know then then you get your flight stuff into your Gmail and
0:33:09then they already know you have a flight because they've already parsed the email
0:33:12from your airline that says you're doing it and then your today view already has
0:33:17like you said, has the weather for San Francisco
0:33:20because that's where I'm flying.
0:33:21- Right.
0:33:22Or like I just got a pop up yesterday,
0:33:23it's like this shirt that you ordered for,
0:33:25a short order for my kid, they're like,
0:33:27it just shipped, here's the FedEx number.
0:33:28Like that's actually pretty useful.
0:33:30- Yeah, that's pretty awesome.
0:33:32So I mean, but it's like you said though,
0:33:36like I'm a little wary of it,
0:33:41but at least with Google, the exchange is very clear.
0:33:46it's okay you're gonna give up some of your privacy
0:33:48and they're gonna send you targeted ads.
0:33:51And that makes me a little uncomfortable.
0:33:53But in exchange, there's a very clear value proposition
0:33:56though, it's we're gonna give you stuff
0:33:59that you need to know, like your weather
0:34:00and reminders of things that you didn't even ask
0:34:03to be reminded of but that you would need to.
0:34:06And I think that's pretty interesting.
0:34:07Whereas with a lot of these startups,
0:34:09it's like they want the information
0:34:11and you know they're gonna sell it out
0:34:13and it's like I have no idea,
0:34:14Why would I give this to you?
0:34:16- Right, right, right, right.
0:34:18Yeah, absolutely.
0:34:19And yeah, anyway, it's probably kind of a thistle
0:34:21to get into, but then you look at something like Uber,
0:34:24where did you see the thing where they're lost and found?
0:34:27Database was like an unprotected spreadsheet
0:34:29on the internet with people's names and phone numbers in it.
0:34:32- No, I did not.
0:34:34- It's like, wow, that's pretty rough.
0:34:36The sharing economy thing is super interesting to me
0:34:42because I'm kind of surprised,
0:34:44really, especially in San Francisco,
0:34:45I am very surprised this stuff has gotten as far as it has.
0:34:48You know, you asked me 10 years ago,
0:34:50I mean, I live in a neighborhood
0:34:50where it's very difficult to get a cab anytime.
0:34:53And I've cursed the cab companies forever
0:34:55'cause they don't give a fig, they don't need to.
0:34:57They can just drive up and down Polk Street
0:34:59and make all the money in the world, drive to the airport.
0:35:01There's, you know what I mean?
0:35:02That's how it works in a city.
0:35:04But I never would have guessed
0:35:06that they would get away with that here.
0:35:07You know what I mean?
0:35:08It's such a strong kind of union town in some ways.
0:35:10such a strong town for like people who are protected.
0:35:13Uh, you know, interest like with the medallions and stuff kind of amazed that stuff has gotten
0:35:18as far as it has.
0:35:19I am too.
0:35:20I didn't know.
0:35:21I didn't realize that.
0:35:22Um, I don't know if you saw my tweet.
0:35:24I don't know a week or two ago.
0:35:26Um, there was an article like like lift start just started here in Philly and the article
0:35:31about lift was about how the whole thing like all the uber all the ubers in Philly are illegal.
0:35:38There's they're not supposed to be operating in Philly.
0:35:40It's like news to me, I've been using Uber and Philly for like two years. I had no idea.
0:35:44Isn't that kind of mind-blowing? It just seems like one low-level government functionary could
0:35:49walk into that office and just shut off the lights. But like so they, I mean black cars are obviously
0:35:55legal but not based on you know not through the Uber interface. But they're regulated.
0:35:59I mean I guess I don't know what it is but there's something like and we have UberX now too so we
0:36:04have the you know the amateur cab driver version. You meet some very interesting people with UberX.
0:36:10And the whole thing was about how Lyft, you know, Lyft's got the pink mustaches on the cars,
0:36:15which makes them so easy to identify. So, like, because they're illegal, like the...
0:36:20But it's not enforced by the police. It's enforced by the parking authority.
0:36:24The long arm of the parking authority.
0:36:26Right.
0:36:28But I've heard stories, I don't know if these are true, but I've heard anecdotes where people
0:36:31are like, "Okay, fist bump. Get in. Now put your bag in the trunk. We're friends. We've
0:36:35We've known each other since college.
0:36:38Because the Lyft experience is still a little on the bubble.
0:36:44Yeah, I'm not comfortable with it, really.
0:36:46Yeah.
0:36:47Yeah.
0:36:48Yeah, I'm not either.
0:36:49But out here, there's an article in the paper a week or two ago
0:36:54about how--
0:36:56I mean, I find this totally plausible.
0:36:58Uber drivers are making something like, on average,
0:37:00$10 an hour more than taxi drivers.
0:37:03there's been a utter diaspora of people leaving
0:37:07these taxi companies to go work for Uber,
0:37:09'cause there's just smart deal in it.
0:37:11- Yeah, I've done that, and when I first started using Uber,
0:37:14it was in San Francisco, because it was early days
0:37:17when Uber was new, and I don't know where the,
0:37:19maybe that was the only place
0:37:20where they were operating at first,
0:37:21but I remember thinking, well, this sounds weird, right?
0:37:25This sounds weird, but I'll try it,
0:37:27and I remember the first couple of times I got in an Uber,
0:37:29I would ask the driver, I was like,
0:37:31so how do you like this, do you like this?
0:37:33And two of never, never was the answer anything other than I love it. This is you know, this is great
0:37:38Oh, absolutely. And whereas if I get a cab ride, I've said this story elsewhere, but I recent last month
0:37:44I got a cab ride home from a gig and
0:37:46The entire time the guy had his right arm on the seat turning around facing me the entire trip screaming
0:37:52He's like an uber anti uber activist, but the entire ride like I'm you know
0:37:57three sheets to the wind and just trying to put my headphones on and nod and he really wants to talk about uber and and
0:38:02And it's the battle lines have been drawn.
0:38:05I tried using that app, but you know, curb, do you have that there?
0:38:08No, I don't think we do.
0:38:09There's an app, at least in San Francisco, that is the go-to app for ordering a cab in
0:38:15an Uber-like way.
0:38:16I've tried it three times and waiting 10 minutes, I've never even gotten a response that a cab
0:38:22would even be available.
0:38:23But just because I live out in kind of a crazy part of town.
0:38:26So I mean, it's, I don't love using it either and they kind of seem like dicks.
0:38:30I mean, no offense to Uber,
0:38:33but there's some pretty crazy decisions going on.
0:38:37- Yeah, I'll send you a link.
0:38:37Here's what we've got.
0:38:39This is our new thing is 215, get a cab.
0:38:43- Okay.
0:38:43- And it's clearly like,
0:38:46like the various cab companies have colluded to get,
0:38:52I mean, I'm not colluded in any legal way,
0:38:54but it's not just one. - Collaborated.
0:38:55- Yeah, it's in response to Uber.
0:39:00- It's just no doubt about it.
0:39:01It is in response to Uber
0:39:03and they've got it plastered all over all of their--
0:39:06- I'll bet.
0:39:07- All of their vehicles, two and five.
0:39:11- Remember that time and--
0:39:12- So I feel like the thing that's funny to me though
0:39:13is they want you to get the app, right?
0:39:15- Yep. - Get the app.
0:39:16And the app sees-- - Have the app,
0:39:17have the app before it occurs to you that you need a cab
0:39:20because you're drunk in an alley somewhere,
0:39:22like what are you gonna do, download an app?
0:39:24Like you need to have it on your phone already probably.
0:39:26- And it's a new thing,
0:39:27but they've come up with the name is a phone number.
0:39:29Like it's still the 80s and you've got to go over, you know, does anybody have a quarter?
0:39:34Give me a quarter, I got a call to get a cab.
0:39:36- Right, you can just imagine the meeting where like,
0:39:38all right, we'll do the app,
0:39:40but it's gotta be the phone number.
0:39:42- Right, and so their website is 215getacab.com.
0:39:47- For some reason I'm reminded of,
0:39:50I wanna say like in the early 2000s,
0:39:52when, you know, the dotcoms had already started,
0:39:54the dotcom like retail.coms, thepets.com and all,
0:39:57it was clearly like things were a little rocky,
0:39:58But there are more and more places that wanted to look like
0:40:01an e-business.
0:40:02And I think a lot of them were basically just like a CGI
0:40:05or a Perl script that sends something to a fax machine.
0:40:08You go in and you fill out a form.
0:40:10You do not have any sense that anything electronic
0:40:12was happening at all.
0:40:13You know what I mean?
0:40:14Not like today where you can like track things
0:40:15and stuff like that.
0:40:16I think it used to be pretty Rube Goldberg
0:40:18to start a company like that.
0:40:19- Right, yeah, I like the idea though that,
0:40:21I think it was probably was true though
0:40:23that a lot of places where you could order online,
0:40:25it would generate a fax.
0:40:26- Oh, that's how it works now.
0:40:28If you order a lot of food online, all it does is print something out.
0:40:30I mean, obviously, that's the installed base.
0:40:34It just prints something out next to the cash register.
0:40:37I don't know, man.
0:40:39Should we talk about vaccines?
0:40:44Oh, come on!
0:40:47Oh, man!
0:40:51Well if we end up, I was telling a friend of mine what our nominal topic for today was,
0:40:56which I'm very excited about.
0:40:57And my friend responded by saying,
0:40:59you are gonna get so much email.
0:41:02- Oh, we probably are.
0:41:02- So we might as well jam it all into one episode.
0:41:05Yeah, vaccines.
0:41:07- So the thing that got me about the vaccines
0:41:09with it being back in the news again
0:41:12is like, it's everywhere now, right?
0:41:16It's percolated up to like the national consciousness
0:41:20and it's on the news every day now and all that stuff.
0:41:22And I was like, why?
0:41:23Why all of a sudden?
0:41:24I mean, this is not a new thing.
0:41:25I mean, this is only a story if there's a controversy, right? That's that's the thing. I couldn't just go these people are dumbasses
0:41:31I will have to say well, there's still a couple scientists that haven't definitely decided on this
0:41:36It's and I realized it's obvious. It's all because actual people got actual measles at Disneyland and
0:41:43I didn't really put I saw this story and I thought well
0:41:47Of course
0:41:48They are did because there's a bunch of dopes who aren't getting there's so many people
0:41:52Who aren't getting their kids immunized? Of course, there's an outbreak of I wasn't I was so unsurprised right that there was an outbreak of measles
0:41:58It's Disneyland that I it seems like a perfect place for there to be a measles outbreak given the conditions
0:42:04I I couldn't believe that it was news, you know
0:42:07Whereas it's clearly is like the eye-opener for a lot of people like oh my god
0:42:12You know if you don't get your kid in it just seems like that's a big part of the conversation is
0:42:16Holy shit, if millions of people don't immunize their kids these kids can get measles
0:42:20like that seems to be our national conversation yeah it's really
0:42:27frustrating it's yeah I don't know what to say I also saw I saw an interesting
0:42:34poll on on by by age whether you support mandatory immunization and it drops off
0:42:41so precipitously it's like 70 year olds it's like almost universal support 60
0:42:45year olds very high 50 40 kind of high and then when you well like once you
0:42:49get in her 40s and 30s it's lower and then you talk to kids in their 20s and
0:42:53it's like they you know it's like 15% support mandatory that doesn't mean that
0:42:58they don't think people should do it they're just saying it shouldn't be
0:43:00mandatory but I think that the reason that it's age it's like it's like
0:43:04reading to your kid that's one of the things it's a good idea but yeah I don't
0:43:07really technically have to do that that's the idea like yeah you don't have
0:43:10to do that I don't have to give my kid a measles shot well the reason it's age
0:43:13specific though is so obvious it's because older people remember what it's
0:43:17like when your neighbor had polio right are they remember parents age who made
0:43:21it through the depression and watched a neighbor on one side of them lose three
0:43:26kids right or a sibling even right I mean we said my grandmother lost a
0:43:31sibling - it flew in the I think you know right right around World War one
0:43:36right so they've saw and then all of a sudden big scientists come out with just
0:43:42a shot that makes your arms sore for a day and then you'll never get polio of
0:43:47of course they support it. Yeah I don't know I'm trying so hard to grow as a
0:43:53person John I'm trying really hard to be sympathetic and understand everybody's
0:43:58position but it it's one of the things I think we talked years ago about the
0:44:03thing remember the you told me this remember that there was that poll that
0:44:05something was what was the percentage of people who were thoroughly convinced
0:44:09that Obama is not eligible to be president even late late late in that
0:44:15in that rumor, it was still like 40% or something ridiculous of people. And it's like there's the
0:44:21thing is there's a you know there's there's a I've been reading this book that I'll apparently
0:44:29mention on every podcast called the wisdom of insecurity by Alan Watts and he makes a
0:44:33distinction in that book that really hit me. It makes a distinction between faith and belief,
0:44:36which I found very persuasive with the idea that you know faith is a thing that we all have. Yeah
0:44:42or sight unseen things that we, there's some part of us that has faith that these kinds of things
0:44:48could happen, that there might be a heaven or whatever. Which is really different from belief,
0:44:51because belief is a kind of a more dangerous thing. Because belief is where, you know,
0:44:55there's not really that much to even discuss. Like, I've decided that this is how things are,
0:45:01and nothing is going to talk me out of this because now it's become part of who I am.
0:45:04Now I am a person who believes this about vaccines, or believes this about Obama.
0:45:08And, you know, I think that can become very internalized. You and I probably have things
0:45:12like that that we're not even aware of but you know that's the dangerous part
0:45:15and there's no what we dumb liberals don't understand is there's no way there
0:45:20are never gonna be enough infographics Venn diagrams or horrifying maps to
0:45:24convince people of anything different I mean Jesus Christ we had George W Bush
0:45:28in the White House for eight years people will believe anything well one of
0:45:32the things that's interesting about the I think the whole immunization thing is
0:45:36very sad and for anybody who's listening I do have enough listeners I'm sure that
0:45:39there's got to be some of you who should stick to computers. Yeah, stick to computers who have
0:45:44children who've chosen not to immunize. I do. I think one of the things that's I so I wanted to
0:45:50I want to be a big person. I want to be as I don't want to be insulting, but I think one of the
0:45:56things that's fascinating about it is that it has no traditional political divide. It's not a liberal
0:46:01thing or a Republican thing or a conservative thing or a rural thing. It's like all over the map.
0:46:08it's you know it's like when they poll i saw one poll that was like exactly 50 50 where like
0:46:12they talked to i don't know however poll sample size number of parents who chose not to immunize
0:46:19their children and who did you vote for in the last election and it was like 50 50 split really
0:46:24yeah i had no do you think the reasons why they differ are different would they agree on the
0:46:30reason why they decide not to do that i you know i don't know but i remember one of the big reasons
0:46:37that it really caught on was I remember reading the article it was Robert F
0:46:42Kennedy jr. wrote like a feature magazine length article I don't know if
0:46:45it was for the Atlantic or one of those magazines like that you know back when
0:46:52there was that one ingredient in the I mean you know that they were yeah I
0:46:56thought we worried we worried about that I'll be honest with you yeah well Jonas
0:47:00was around that age I mean it was at the height of it it was I think when Jonas
0:47:04was he just turned 11 so I think when Jonas was getting that's like his first
0:47:09year immunizations was before I think it was before that one paper in Britain had
0:47:17been debunked oh the Lancet article right I think it was before it was
0:47:21debunked so it was definitely you know it was a thing I don't know we were a
0:47:25little you know I I didn't really put creeds into it but I you know I was it
0:47:30I just remember it being a thing. We talked about it.
0:47:33We ask a lot of questions, for sure. And they were very sober about it and actually
0:47:39like oddly patient, like you have to be with a new parent. Because we pretty much knew we were just
0:47:43going to have the one kid. It's like we don't get a lot of shots at this, so to speak. And we,
0:47:48it was important to us to know that kind of stuff. I don't feel dumb for asking those questions
0:47:53because they were very, the doctor was very straightforward about it. It's the same thing that
0:48:00a lot of sensible people understand, which is like there's risks to everything in life,
0:48:03but what we can tell you is the risks associated with vaccination are nothing compared with the
0:48:10very demonstrable risks of not vaccinating. Yeah, as an individual, I think in terms of risk
0:48:15analysis or cost benefit, it's not even a comparison. Right, and then I, you know,
0:48:21especially when it comes to your kid, I think it's almost human instinct, at least in our modern
0:48:26world where we're very as parents we're very selfish about our children that we
0:48:31want will do anything for our kids and you know if you could prove that your
0:48:37kid might be better off without as an individual would be better off without
0:48:41immunizations versus the whole civic responsibility the herd you know the
0:48:46herd meant the herd advantage of getting everybody immunized I can see it and I
0:48:52think that's the basic thinking that's going on behind the people who chose not
0:48:55to immunize their children that they're they value you know that they believe
0:48:59some kind of bad thing can happen from the immunization right and regardless of
0:49:03what it means but that's a sticky idea that's a very durable idea whether or
0:49:07not it's true or accurate I can certainly understand why it's something
0:49:11that that I mean I don't agree with it but I get why that's something that
0:49:15people feel is a big risk you know but think about this I mean this is
0:49:19something where I think we all have a I feel like I have a lot in common with
0:49:23other people which is you know I've grown so I'm skeptical so cynical about
0:49:28all the turns out announcements about what's dangerous and you know there's
0:49:32been numerous you know articles over the years talking about the crazy history of
0:49:36stuff like the the food pyramid right the USDA's food pyramid you're not USDA
0:49:41so what it is what's the one that puts out the food pyramid like in the 70s
0:49:44we'd like make sure you have tons and tons of bread and you know what I mean
0:49:47and then it was so USDA you I but it was very much apparently very much formed by
0:49:53these different industries not to be like a nut or something but your body
0:49:57was never meant to handle this much corn my god no one's supposed to jam this
0:50:01much corn into their hole it's nuts and then what happens to be old fats the
0:50:05enemy okay so quit eating eggs all right so now fast the enemy so let's have
0:50:09snack wells so everyone sits around and eats fat-free brownies with three cups
0:50:12of sugar in it oh wait a minute no it turns out sugar is actually the enemy
0:50:15and so forth look no further back than in the last decade look at fucking water
0:50:19bottles. Do you follow this at all? No. Like what used to be you're like oh you're
0:50:24killing the environment with all these cups so for God's sakes go out and buy a
0:50:27Nalgene bottle and you had to have a Nalgene bottle. Where's your Nalgene
0:50:30bottle? Those stupid plastic bottles. Oh no guess what? Turns out phthalates. Oh my
0:50:35gosh you're gonna die because you're doing the right thing. So now you should
0:50:38go and buy this kind of and now people are saying maybe those aluminum ones
0:50:41that we used to replace the Nalgene bottles are bad. You know what the trouble
0:50:44is it doesn't it kind of doesn't matter what is actually true accurate accurate
0:50:48or known. What matters is we are scared to hurt ourselves and our kids and we're always going to
0:50:53try and have the most recent information that we can find about what we should do about it.
0:50:57I mean you're not even supposed to put plastic in the microwave anymore. Like what do you put
0:51:01in the microwave? You know like throw the goddamn thing out if you can't put plastic in it. It's
0:51:05useless. Who doesn't? I'm not going to make a bowl to warm something up. I'm not a fucking monster.
0:51:10I remember coaching Little League a couple years ago. I am familiar with the whole water bottle
0:51:17thing now and it had something to do with I think it was phthalates and I don't know.
0:51:21I know baby remember baby bottles and phthalates.
0:51:23I it's like it made me feel like time traveling dad from the 1950s you know like I'm just trying
0:51:31to make sure none of these kids get hit in the mouth with a baseball right number one I don't
0:51:37want anybody getting hit in the head with a baseball it's a constant fear you've got 12 kids
0:51:42and at some point at least two of the 12 invariably are not paying attention to the game
0:51:47and therefore are at risk of getting hit in the head with a baseball, which is bad.
0:51:51So it's, you know, every game...
0:51:52We can all agree on that.
0:51:54Every game is two hours of non-stop. 95% of my attention is don't let any of these kids get
0:51:59hit by a baseball. And then 5% of my attention is let's, you know, try to score some runs and
0:52:04get some outs and maybe win the game. And in the meantime, there's this whole thing with the other,
0:52:08all the other, I mean, not just moms either. It's moms and dads, and they're all talking about like,
0:52:12"Oh, you got to get rid of that bottle. That bottle, you can't drink out of that."
0:52:15Everybody's an expert.
0:52:17And I'm just like, just give the kids some goddamn water.
0:52:20I don't know.
0:52:20When I was a kid, we'd finish each game
0:52:23with 50 of those little--
0:52:26Conical juice boxes.
0:52:27Oh, sure, the water cups.
0:52:29Yeah.
0:52:30The conical paper cups.
0:52:31You just leave them on the field.
0:52:32Let the Indian clean them up.
0:52:34Exactly.
0:52:35You didn't even have to clean them up.
0:52:37Yeah, totally.
0:52:38Totally.
0:52:39And I mean, it is funny, given how you and I already
0:52:42come from a pampered generation in so many ways.
0:52:46We're probably the last generation that has a chance of doing better than our parents in life.
0:52:50But, um, for a while anyway.
0:52:52But, you know, I mentioned this a lot, but like some of my, I'm not, okay guys, I'm not advocating for this,
0:52:58but I have such, I wrote a thing about this one time.
0:53:00Just having this memory of our old green Pontiac, my dad driving around, smoking a butt with the windows down,
0:53:08and me like standing on the seat, like, or you could just stick your head out the window.
0:53:12You would just do all this crazy stuff.
0:53:13Seatbelts? You've got to be kidding me.
0:53:14Do we even have seatbelts?
0:53:15And now today my daughter doesn't do anything without a helmet.
0:53:18I mean, that's on me.
0:53:20I want to protect her head.
0:53:21But it is pretty wild how many people manage to survive that.
0:53:26Now at the same time, I was trying to explain to the best of my amateur ability
0:53:31what the world population is and how it works.
0:53:34I was saying to my kid, OK, I think there's like what?
0:53:36Coming up on 7 billion people, something like that.
0:53:38I was like, can you guess why that keeps going up?
0:53:41And my hints were, well, one of them is when mommies and daddies get together,
0:53:44what happens?" She goes, "Well, they have babies." I'm like, "Yeah, and when those babies grow up,
0:53:48and they become mommies and daddies, what happens?" And they have like three kids. And she's like,
0:53:51"Oh, I have seven more kids." And I was like, "But the other thing is, to our credit, I think,
0:53:56people die of less completely preventable random shit than when I was a kid." I've got to stipulate,
0:54:04thank God, for seat belts. They've made the road safer, the cars are safer, it's all safer.
0:54:08Everybody knew somebody that had died in a car accident when I was a kid. It was just a thing.
0:54:13It was cancer and car accidents killed and lung disease like killed everybody when I was a kid and they're all at least partially preventable
0:54:20Right a huge to a huge swath of car accidents are preventable. Well in addition to seat belts. There's the whole
0:54:26Have you seen the footage you had to that the difference in the crumple zones of like an old car in a new car?
0:54:32It's it's almost farcical
0:54:35Yeah, oh man those drivers ed movies. I still think about them. I've never unbuckled a dead man
0:54:40My mom took our Pontiac to the dealership. She took it to a mechanic and said, "Look,
0:54:48we bought this $8,000 car and it beeps when we sit in it if we don't put on the seat belt.
0:54:53Can you turn that off?" And he said, "Yes, I will turn that off for you."
0:54:55All right.
0:54:56Or you just leave it fastened all the time.
0:55:01My sister and I were not allowed to use the seat belts because we would mess them up.
0:55:05Like, you know what I mean? Like they wouldn't retract right anymore or that, you know,
0:55:11you get them twisted around.
0:55:12It used to be pretty basic the way that it would retract. You could like get it off the runner,
0:55:17like off the spool and it wouldn't go back in right.
0:55:19Right. So at some point one of us had gotten one of the ones in the backseat twisted in the,
0:55:25you know, the actual belt was twisted in the, what would you call it?
0:55:29That little cartridge kind of thing.
0:55:30Yeah, the cartridge that would slide to make it adjustable.
0:55:32- I know exactly what you mean.
0:55:33They were really primitive.
0:55:35They didn't snap into place very well.
0:55:36And it was very easy when feeding it back.
0:55:38It would be like a roller blind,
0:55:42getting slightly off track at the beginning
0:55:43and then being way off track by the time it got to the end.
0:55:45- It's a lot, the only thing that's similar to it anymore
0:55:47are airplane seat belts.
0:55:49But it was a lot,
0:55:50the buckling connection was a lot more primitive.
0:55:52But the way that you could slide it on the belt,
0:55:54well, we'd gotten it twisted up
0:55:56and it took my mom a long time to unfix it.
0:55:58And so from then on, we weren't allowed to use seat belts.
0:56:02just let them go.
0:56:03It took her 15 minutes to get them untangled.
0:56:08So then that was it, no more seat belts.
0:56:10- What do you think is gonna happen with the vaccine stuff?
0:56:13Do you think it'll take a generation?
0:56:15Or does it take event generation
0:56:17or does it take a measles 9/11?
0:56:19Like what do you think will change and how
0:56:22in the next however many end years?
0:56:24- I've been thinking about, I don't think,
0:56:26I don't think there's any way to go back on it.
0:56:27And part of it is what we were saying a couple of minutes ago
0:56:31where you can't, you can come at them,
0:56:33like they've done studies that you go at them
0:56:35with the most factual, statistical approach
0:56:38of the relative safety of immunizations
0:56:41and the fact that, you know, how horrible it is,
0:56:45you know, measles can make you blind, kill people.
0:56:49I think they said, I think just 46 people a day
0:56:53die from measles around the world.
0:56:55Something like that, around the world.
0:56:57And you give them these facts,
0:57:00and the people who don't want to vaccinate their kids
0:57:02get the facts and they come out of it more convinced.
0:57:05- I heard this, I did hear that.
0:57:07But you know, facts are slippery things.
0:57:09And I mean, if somebody that you didn't trust,
0:57:11let's be honest, if somebody you didn't trust
0:57:13that you considered to be a mouthpiece for an organization,
0:57:17some kind of like the Laramie cigarettes guys
0:57:19on The Simpsons, if somebody came to you
0:57:21with some information and you knew
0:57:23that they were compromised,
0:57:25even if they gave you what they presented as facts,
0:57:27you wouldn't listen to them.
0:57:29or you probably wouldn't go look
0:57:30at the primary research, right?
0:57:31I'm the same way, I know what I believe,
0:57:34I know what I think is BS.
0:57:36It's just that, right back to that,
0:57:37I think we've talked about this every time,
0:57:38that Lakoff book, "Don't Think of an Elephant."
0:57:40If you have a certain mental model for how reality works
0:57:44and what relationships are
0:57:45and how you determine what's real
0:57:47and that overrides or supersedes new information
0:57:51by an order of magnitude, right?
0:57:52I mean, it's gotta, I mean,
0:57:54the way that you have conducted yourself in the world
0:57:56for however many end 30 some years whatever is likely to have such
0:58:01I totally buy that you know and what your family believes
0:58:04and what the people around you believe what the people your church believe it's
0:58:07constantly being reinforced because that's part of your tribe that's
0:58:10what your tribe believes and there's no reason not to i mean we've all got
0:58:13tribal things like that right yeah like you like the stupid you like the
0:58:16dallas cowboys you've got problems of your own
0:58:19that's part of the problem though is that there's there is a sort of tribal
0:58:22behavior where the the kids who are not immunized tend to be clustered because it spreads and you
0:58:30become friends you know i mean we're not like super buddy buddy with any of the other parents
0:58:33at school but you talk to them and you know and it's like it becomes like a thing where like now
0:58:39like i forget what the the percentage is in marin county but it's just ridiculous marin's got a lot
0:58:44of weird outliers marin also has a used to have as far as i know like a improbably high rate of
0:58:50breast cancer. And I imagine there's ways that you could come up with why that is that don't involve,
0:58:56you know, high power lines or something. It could be that they're getting detection better or
0:58:59something. I don't know. But yeah, Marin's a thing. I remember Scott Simpson said something
0:59:07made me laugh a long time ago when he had a kid and I didn't at the time have a kid. I think it
0:59:10was a toot he had back in the Fevard days. He said something like there's two kinds of parents.
0:59:18Like there's the helicopter parents that are more protective than me and I hate them.
0:59:23And then there's the parents who are totally careless with their kids and I hate them too.
0:59:26The way you evaluate everything is based on what you think. Everybody else is either too permissive
0:59:32or too strict.
0:59:33>> It's so totally true.
0:59:34>> It's true, they're just a bunch of assholes.
0:59:36>> Right.
0:59:37Their kid's an asshole, he doesn't even know how to tie his shoes.
0:59:42And then there's the other kid who's reckless.
0:59:44>> Look at that guy.
0:59:45>> What's wrong with these parents? They're maniacs, their kid's a menace.
0:59:47Geez, come on kid, it's a jungle gym, let the kid play. Oh my God, I can't believe you let him get
0:59:52on the jungle gym. Or even with what we want to talk about later, like with movies, like I cannot
1:00:02believe they let their kid watch that. Or I can't believe that they don't want us to let him watch
1:00:06Harry Potter. Oh, this is what makes it. I texted you about this this morning. I know we're not
1:00:12getting into it just now, but the way I tried to phrase this to my daughter, and we'll come back to
1:00:16this was like, you know, it's not just a matter of like, you know me, I like a facet. I like,
1:00:21as they say in academics, I like problematizing. I like taking something that seems obvious and
1:00:24figuring out how it's actually a mess. And so like with kids in media, it's not just like,
1:00:29what do you show your kids? It's like, hmm, it's like, well, what kinds of stuff do you
1:00:33show your particular kid at what point in their life, in what context, et cetera, et cetera, et
1:00:40cetera, because we all know every kid's really different. I mean, anybody with two kids,
1:00:44There's a kind of people who say,
1:00:45Google's this kind of company,
1:00:46Apple's this kind of company.
1:00:48If you said to them, your three kids are identical,
1:00:50they'd hit you in the face.
1:00:51(laughs)
1:00:52'Cause all their kids are special flowers.
1:00:54So I know we'll come back to that,
1:00:55but oh, we're gonna get so much email.
1:00:57- We're gonna get a lot of email.
1:00:58Let me take a break.
1:00:59Let's take a break and thank another one of our sponsors,
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1:01:30and saw that it was a mess.
1:01:32It's stuff that's ugly, it's stuff that's overpriced,
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1:01:37- You gotta go hit a button and ask somebody
1:01:39to come over with a key to let you please,
1:01:41if I could, could I please have some razor blades?
1:01:44- It's like when you remember when the compact disc stores
1:01:47used to lock the CD.
1:01:49- Oh yes.
1:01:49You know what I love?
1:01:50I go to my Walgreens seven times a day
1:01:52and when I go there to buy some goddamn razor blades,
1:01:54and I am a Harry's user now, to be honest,
1:01:56but when I go in there to get like,
1:01:57if I'm traveling and I wanna bring
1:01:59this particular razor with me,
1:02:00I go there and it's the same dingus kid
1:02:03that I see seven times a day and I say,
1:02:05"Oh, could I please have the,
1:02:06"this and such, $75 worth of blades please?"
1:02:09He's like, "Are you ready to check out now?"
1:02:10I'm like, no, I wanna walk around the store
1:02:12and steal stuff for a while.
1:02:13No, he's got to walk me.
1:02:16- Right.
1:02:16- The assistant manager wants to walk me to the counter
1:02:19so that I don't steal his precious Gillette's.
1:02:21No offense.
1:02:22Oh, it's the worst.
1:02:24- I, one time I had to, I was at your neck of the woods.
1:02:28I was in San Francisco for one of these Apple events
1:02:30or something like that, and oh, I forgot my toothbrush.
1:02:33Well, that's the sort of thing, I cannot,
1:02:37I think not brushing your teeth for two or three days.
1:02:40your mouth would feel horrible. You gotta take care of it. I guess I probably should have just
1:02:43called down the front desk at the hotel and seen if they could do it. But I thought, well,
1:02:46I gotta go out anyway. And I went on right there on Market Street to, I don't know, what is it?
1:02:50Is it a, yeah, like a CVS or Walgreens? Yeah, I forget what they get, you know, but I go in there
1:02:55and the goddamn toothbrushes were locked behind those. What? Yeah. Because I guess people steal
1:03:00toothbrushes. I ran out of deodorant. I went to buy deodorant yesterday. All the deodorant was
1:03:05under lock and key. So I got to call some kid to come over and unlock a little deodorant jail
1:03:10to open it up for me and then walk me to the counter like an animal.
1:03:13PAUL Right. And they wonder why we're buying all our stuff from Amazon. Well, anyway,
1:03:16Harry's has this fixed. It's great stuff. They keep expanding their line. They've got new stuff.
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1:03:40limited edition line of razors. Really, really cool looking. They have great stuff. They also
1:03:45have, they have these subscriptions. I don't know. They call them shave plans. You go there
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1:04:06you want to stop shaving you want to switch to another brand you can just
1:04:08cancel at any time it's like Tonks for for razors really so I mean like for
1:04:14example I I've bought coffee like once in the last year because there was like
1:04:19one stretch where I'd gotten ahead of my Tonks and needed to go buy it I don't
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1:05:17buy anything from assholes who paid John Gruber for sponsorships that was that
1:05:25from our friend Dave over at man he was looking through his refers his refers
1:05:32over at mad.com they sponsored a whole slew I love their sponsorships oh my god
1:05:38that was the best sponsors ever I said still blows me away what they did with
1:05:42the Darren fireballs like the four oh didn't do like a was like a 404 page or
1:05:45something they once the one way they did like three straight weeks and the one
1:05:48was a was a it was a typo and they wanted a typo into URL so it went to a
1:05:53a 404 page. And so they got one referral, it looks like a Google Analytics screenshot they
1:05:59posted. Right, they had one that was just the title of the link was an ellipse. It's
1:06:06just three dots and then it just said the message that only went in the feed it just said in this
1:06:11week before Christmas we thought it'd be nice to take our daring fireball sponsorship and not pitch
1:06:15you on anything enjoy the holidays meh. And they didn't have a link it didn't it they signed it meh
1:06:20but they didn't link to their website there was no there was no URL it just
1:06:24went nowhere and then the week before was the one where they had the the ASCII
1:06:29art of a guy flipping a table right that said Amazon upside down like with those
1:06:37crazy Unicode characters that were happy holidays right which only made sense
1:06:42which is cool because it only made sense if you knew the backstory yeah that
1:06:46relationship yeah that they had started woot the same guys who did woot
1:06:50and they sold the Amazon and you ever read that story like Paul kafasa sleep
1:06:57oh yeah I think I think I did it it sounds like it was not ideal yeah it was
1:07:00like Amazon bought them and they didn't do well they weren't happy it didn't see
1:07:04my gam is uncared and and the founder had like a breakfast with Jeff Bezos
1:07:12Bezos yeah he's oh so whatever and you know basis is going on and on about
1:07:17whatever and he's like well look can I ask you a question he was like why did
1:07:20you buy whoo and it was like he just like stared at his like breakfast and
1:07:25there was like this one weird thing on his you know breakfast platter like a
1:07:29some weird vegetable he was like your thing was like this this piece of weird
1:07:35lettuce I didn't understand it so I wanted to buy it I didn't get it so I
1:07:41just wanted to buy it what a psycho yeah it seems like a real nut job he does he
1:07:46seems easy and like the whole story of like the Amazon the fire phone it just
1:07:50sounds nuts yeah that was some great reporting I forget if I talked about
1:07:55this on the show or if I just linked it up on during fireball but Austin Carr
1:07:58wrote that for a fast company and really really top-notch like if you want to
1:08:05bemoan the lack of actual reporting that goes on today man that's a great
1:08:09counter example because he really did the legwork he clearly got people who
1:08:13worked on that phone to talk and Bezos sounds like basically Bezos like it was his passion project. He
1:08:18dove in with both feet and I don't say micromanaged, but he like he had would not. He would not go off
1:08:25his decisions at any point, right? Like he was very decisive about exactly how this thing was
1:08:30going to work. It wasn't listening to anybody. Yeah, yeah, I think long story short. Well,
1:08:35how did the fire phone come to be? I would say long story short, based on Austin cards reporting.
1:08:40it was something to the effect of we should do a phone if we do a phone should it should either be
1:08:47really cheap or it should be asked if it's not really cheap then it has to compete with the
1:08:52iphone oh and the 3d it's got to do 3d right well that become like a thing that was the thing like
1:08:57so then the next step bezos was like well i want to compete with the iphone and because i think he
1:09:01wanted to make a phone that he would actually use right so like what's the point of like them making
1:09:05a cheap phone if they themselves are also going to use iphone so they wanted to they're going to go
1:09:08go high-end. Then the next step in the logical chain is well then we have
1:09:12to have a hook, right? There has to be something. If we're gonna sell a phone
1:09:15that's like four or five hundred bucks, there has to be something that is
1:09:19compelling about it. And Bezos latched on to this 3D thing, you know, everybody
1:09:25knows the basic, you know, that there's 3D interface that using accelerometers
1:09:28and four cameras on the front, you know, that it can, without any special
1:09:33glasses it makes like a fake 3d effect on the flat surface of the phone and
1:09:40there was like no budging him off that that's you know that's like our Siri
1:09:44that's our hook that we can advertise everybody's gonna go nuts for it and
1:09:48there was apparently a lot of internal skepticism that this would have any
1:09:52actual appeal like well what's the point it's a niche the gist of a lot of the
1:09:56people seem to think well it is a neat trick but what is the point and then the
1:10:00phone shipped and everybody said well it's a neat trick but what's the point
1:10:03but he stuck with it right well he printed up a lot of cardboard boxes that
1:10:09said buy a fire phone that was so weird the first time I got an Amazon box with
1:10:13that that on the tape I was like what I was like somebody sent me an Amazon
1:10:18fire phone I thought the same thing I thought the same thing because every you
1:10:21know and I thought it was believable for me because nobody's ever sent me a phone
1:10:27Like no company but like I do get some equipment to try you weren't in a sprint program back in the day
1:10:33No, I was in some well
1:10:35I've gotten I got the G1 from Google HTC was nice enough to send me that I remember that that was fun
1:10:41And but I was in this thing where Sprint would just they were sending bloggers like new phones every few months like in the days
1:10:47Before I wrote because it was around the time of the iPhone and I finally got this totally crazy looking one
1:10:53where it had screens on both sides and it was kind of meant to look like an
1:10:57iPhone but you would do stuff you would need to flip the phone around and use
1:11:00different keyboards and a touchscreen was totally crazy well but it's not
1:11:04outlandish to know that that somebody would send me a firefight and that's
1:11:07what I thought it was and it was a box it was a box that was about the size
1:11:10that a phone might come in I was like I cannot believe somebody sent me a
1:11:13fire phone and I opened it up and it was I don't know toothpaste so great all
1:11:20- All right.
1:11:20Should we do it?
1:11:24- Well, let's do one more thing and then we'll do it.
1:11:26Here's the other thing.
1:11:27I wanna go circle back on the vaccinations.
1:11:30- Oh, Jesus.
1:11:31- Well, not the vaccinations in particular,
1:11:33but to me, it's a product of the internet age.
1:11:36This is why I'm a little pessimistic about it getting fixed
1:11:39because I think pre-internet,
1:11:42there just wasn't enough information for people to do that.
1:11:46Like, your best source of information
1:11:48the health of your kid was what your pediatrician told you and if your pediatrician said we
1:11:52recommend these immunizations on this schedule well you know you're.
1:11:58And maybe you might rely on your family too.
1:12:01Right yeah.
1:12:02Think about like the things you hear about brand loyalty and how people who are pampers
1:12:06you know the mom used pampers so they use pampers and we're a Heinz ketchup family and
1:12:10so forth like you know I think a lot of people especially at a young and impressionable age
1:12:14having a kid take a lot of that from from what their family would say they'd be like
1:12:17Are you kidding me? You know, you know aunt Linda died because she wasn't vaccinated. Of course, you're gonna vaccinate your kids
1:12:23And it's you know that now though, you know
1:12:26Not that I'm not trying to say that pre-internet that nobody questioned their doctor, of course
1:12:30I mean, you know the second opinion is part of our vernacular, you know, of course people might question their doctor
1:12:36Especially if you know the recommendation was surgery or something like that
1:12:41But now it's so easy for people to just find what they want to find whereas you couldn't do that before and there's that
1:12:48Stencil it's a spray-painted stencil. It's all you know, you can't go anywhere without seeing it, but you see it everywhere
1:12:53This the saying stop making stupid people famous
1:12:56Right, which is trite, but it's true
1:13:00It is absolutely the problem of the modern age is that we've made a lot of stupid people very famous and not but I also feel
1:13:07think about something like WebMD and I don't think any of us can say we've
1:13:11never looked at WebMD when we're pretty sure we have cancer. Like you know there
1:13:15is also the the internet has empowered us to believe that we we can learn a lot
1:13:21on our own. I guess this is kind of what you're already saying but you know now
1:13:24we feel like there's this resource in the same way that we might not go spend
1:13:27several weeks at the library you know looking up carcinoma. Now today like
1:13:31we'll keep keep looking until we find the thing that makes sense to us. Yeah and
1:13:36And it's, you know, yeah, again,
1:13:38the worst thing you can possibly do
1:13:39when you have some kind of health problem is Google it.
1:13:41And it's, of course, the first thing that we all do.
1:13:43I mean, you can't help but do it,
1:13:45but it's the worst thing you can do.
1:13:47- Totally.
1:13:48- It's 'cause it's just gonna,
1:13:49now you have whatever your problem is
1:13:51and now you've got terrible anxiety about it
1:13:53because you've proven that you have, you know,
1:13:56something incurable.
1:13:57- Have you ever gone into a doctor's office
1:13:58with a printout?
1:13:59- No, I have not.
1:14:02- They do not like that.
1:14:03- Nope, but I'm not saying I wouldn't, though.
1:14:06I'm not saying I wouldn't I'm just saying I haven't.
1:14:08- I could see Amy doing a lot of research.
1:14:11I could see her being a very well informed
1:14:13with the kid stuff.
1:14:14I could see her being a very well informed parent
1:14:16on that stuff.
1:14:17- Yeah, I think she's very, she's hyper informed.
1:14:20- And hyper vigilant, right?
1:14:23Like she's got that EpiPen,
1:14:25she's like Marshall Dillon with that thing, right?
1:14:27- Yeah, and she does, she really does know
1:14:29an awful lot about it.
1:14:31Again, I think she'd be the first to tell you
1:14:33that she does not know more than our Jonas's allergist does,
1:14:37but she certainly knows a lot more than she used to.
1:14:40But I do think that that's, I don't know,
1:14:44I feel like that's a big part of the problem
1:14:46of the modern age is that you can,
1:14:48there's a, it's easy for anybody to have a soapbox
1:14:52and get more than just the people who can,
1:14:59in the old days if you were a lunatic,
1:15:02only the people within earshot could hear you.
1:15:05Now anybody can listen.
1:15:07- Yeah, it's funny.
1:15:07There's all these little,
1:15:08setting aside the dark web or the dark net or whatever,
1:15:11there's this one funny sort of source of information
1:15:16that's been around for a long time
1:15:17but still remains largely hidden from plain sight,
1:15:20which is forums or fora, I guess.
1:15:23There are so many places where if you Google
1:15:25for certain kinds of information,
1:15:27all kinds of certain kinds of information,
1:15:29you are very likely to,
1:15:32Somebody suggested for example, yesterday I was talking,
1:15:35I think yesterday I'm back to work talking about how I'm trying not to drink too much coffee.
1:15:38You know, I don't want to be too spazzy and somebody had recommended this stuff called L-theanamine or something like that,
1:15:44which is like a green tea extract or something.
1:15:46And so I went in and I googled it.
1:15:48And like so many results on forums where people are like saying the most outlandish things.
1:15:54But like I kept reading it.
1:15:56I immediately felt like, you know, I got to take all this with a grain of salt,
1:16:00but I still kept reading looking for somebody who sounded like they knew what they were talking about and I have no way of knowing if anybody's knows what they're talking about.
1:16:06I think it's a very common thing.
1:16:08Do you find that as I'm getting older and I find that I'm getting a lot more sensitive to things like having drunk too much coffee.
1:16:16Oh, absolutely.
1:16:18I don't think it's like I think it's actually more of like a self-awareness though than like not that I used to be able to metabolize more.
1:16:24more it's that I would drink too much coffee and wouldn't even notice whereas
1:16:30now I'm like wow my brain is bananas right now oh yeah I I talk about this a
1:16:35lot on the show with Dan I mean I have to be very circumspect about something
1:16:40that sounds unbelievable to me now which is that I have to be very careful about
1:16:45how much caffeine or stimulants in general I put in my body after about 12
1:16:49for one because they say the half-life or like that's mostly out of your body
1:16:53in like eight hours and that's not true for me.
1:16:55I'll just be laying, if I have a coffee at two,
1:16:57I'll just be laying there in bed with my heart beating.
1:16:59And so, and also, another thing I said other places,
1:17:03is I feel like I don't always get the same positive effects
1:17:05that I used to get, but I definitely still get
1:17:07all the negative effects.
1:17:09You know what I mean?
1:17:10Where I don't, it used to be where I was like,
1:17:12I'm young and virile and I can have Thai food and coffee
1:17:15at 11 at night, whoosh.
1:17:16And now today, like, that's just,
1:17:18that's a terrible idea for me.
1:17:20So yeah, the sensitivity, for real.
1:17:21yeah there's lots of stuff like that foods too I mean I
1:17:25anyway I make the same amount of coffee every day
1:17:28and I think it's you know it's like the right dose for me but then like
1:17:32I used to I don't really do anymore like sometimes I just get bored at four in the
1:17:35afternoon and think well I have another
1:17:36I'll you know go make one of these. I've done that my whole life that's exactly what I would do
1:17:39some people eat at three o'clock and I'm like I want to have a coffee
1:17:43I'll go make one I'll make one cup with the AeroPress and then I'll you know
1:17:46taste a little better
1:17:47and and then I'm you know at like six
1:17:51PM, I'm like, wait, I've been trying to read this 800 word article for half an hour.
1:17:56And instead, I've got 20 other tabs here. I really wanted to read this article. What happened to it?
1:18:01I totally had that this morning. I had two cups of coffee.
1:18:03Yeah.
1:18:05Well, and then I'm like, that's a freaking coffee. I should not have had that extra coffee.
1:18:10I did that this morning. I had two cups of coffee and I sat down to read the entire Wikipedia page
1:18:15on the history of the MPAA rating system, which doesn't seem that hard. It's pretty standard
1:18:20English I got like I got like two headings in and I was like let's ride
1:18:23bikes I you know I couldn't even concentrate so I'm slightly prepped but
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1:20:36All right, here's the idea
1:20:41What do you want to do out you you you mentioned it because it was actually your idea at first no
1:20:45You know, you can go ahead. Well the basic idea not to turn it into a parenting podcast, but it's it's
1:20:50the
1:20:52overarching dilemma of what movies
1:20:55Do you let your kids watch when like what age like where do you balance this and I have found it to be?
1:21:02Oh
1:21:05For the you know from the get-go right from when he was Jonas was old enough to just sit in front of a TV
1:21:10It's a vexing dilemma, and I never totally a moving target. I
1:21:15Totally and I never anticipated it being difficult. I
1:21:19Just always thought before I had a kid that at any given moment
1:21:23You could give me any movie or TV show and I could instantly tell you whether it was age-appropriate or not
1:21:28But it ends up being I think devilishly tricky. Well exactly right
1:21:31So, I mean the only thing I would want to establish is that you know, we went to college and stuff
1:21:35We understand that there are things like ratings. I think that the part that makes this so challenging
1:21:40is how different every kid is in terms of what they are sensitive to.
1:21:45What's likely to be problematic or you know to cause troubles and nightmares.
1:21:51It's not as simple. I would postulate it's not nearly as simple as
1:21:56just saying I'm gonna trust the MPAA because there are plenty of g-rated
1:21:59movies with stuff in it that a three-year-old, some three-year-olds, right?
1:22:02A given three-year-old should not see and if the parents know that like you
1:22:07know it's really good to avoid that I mean one that comes up a lot it's like
1:22:11scary music a genre of what's just called scary music like boom cellos we're
1:22:15going into the woods some kids that could watch somebody be decapitated
1:22:19freak out my daughter things jumping into and out of frame completely freak
1:22:24her out real oh yeah you know like in like a horror movie kind of thing like
1:22:27we're so I know you yeah like in the background pops up even in in any kind
1:22:32of a movie no matter how innocuous it can kind of freak her out so yeah
1:22:36- Yeah, exactly, it's not, the thing is it's,
1:22:38and then on the other hand there are some kids
1:22:40where like if you fast forward through this one scene
1:22:43or this other scene, they would be totally fine
1:22:45watching some PG-13 movies.
1:22:47And it's just, I think it's,
1:22:49I'm sure we both have some horror stories
1:22:51about terrible decisions, but also just,
1:22:54I think it's interesting to talk about
1:22:55'cause I think everybody wants to look like
1:22:57they're real smart about it,
1:22:58and I think almost everybody who lets their kid
1:23:00watch movies worries about it.
1:23:03Worries about getting the mix wrong.
1:23:05Yeah, and I'll give you one example from Jonas when he was young.
1:23:11And we, I would say on the grand scheme of things, we are relatively permissive and always
1:23:16have been.
1:23:17But I don't –
1:23:18You think?
1:23:19I do.
1:23:20I'm laughing because I used to shake my head when you would tell me things that you would
1:23:25let him do and now I do the same stuff.
1:23:28But also I really feel like a big part of that though was knowing what he was good with
1:23:33and he was good. I think with relatively advanced like violence in movies, you know he watched Star
1:23:41Wars very very young and you know I don't think that there I watched it when I was in kindergarten
1:23:46too. That was my thinking. I don't know. I was in kindergarten when it came out. I turned out all
1:23:49right. But I remember but you never know though there's always little things so one of the we
1:23:55let him watch the Pirates of the Caribbean movies at a very early age. And I think that those are
1:24:01PG I don't think they're PG-13 I don't know man they got some pretty spooky stuff well he didn't
1:24:05but the point is he didn't mind it no not at all except for one scene which is and I don't remember
1:24:11which one of them it's in but there's one scene where uh uh it must have been the first one where
1:24:19they're going after the gold that if you stole the gold you became a ghost or whatever and you had to
1:24:22drop a piece of blood and they cut somebody somebody takes a knife and just puts like a little
1:24:27like a PG rated cut on the palm of somebody's hand. Oh, yeah, and
1:24:31He it just flipped him out and he had like a fit and he was like we're like, what's wrong?
1:24:37What's wrong?
1:24:38And he just was holding his hand and he said like I can feel it I can feel it and he's just screaming
1:24:43Like it made him feel as though his hand had been cut but my kid will come
1:24:48Compulsively I was the word I'm looking for
1:24:51Well, like automatically like violently turn away from the screen whenever there's blood like, you know
1:24:55like a cut or something like that or like a wound. She absolutely turns away.
1:24:59RL Yeah, and so we –
1:25:00CB And so, it was like middle of the day, noon,
1:25:04me working at home like probably five, six years ago. And we both looked at each other like we just
1:25:13gave each other this look like, "Oh my God, what have we done? We've wrecked this poor child's mind
1:25:17by letting him watch this movie that we should have known he was too young to watch." But you just
1:25:23just never know. And then and and he would be good. He wouldn't
1:25:26refuse to watch that movie, but I'll tell you what he had it
1:25:29down stone. He knew exactly when that scene was coming up
1:25:33and he would run out and he would say what he used to say.
1:25:36He'd call it past past forward. My daughter would say fast over
1:25:41past. She says that he passed over that yeah anytime when
1:25:45they got to the point where in Toy Story two when Buzz has to
1:25:48at the beginning in the video game when he has to walk out
1:25:50across the floating disks.
1:25:52- Oh yeah, yeah. - Should I say daddy fast over?
1:25:55- Fast over, I like that one too.
1:25:57They're both good.
1:25:58Pass forward.
1:25:59- Oh my God, it's--
1:26:01- Jonas's list included the Wampa, no Wampa.
1:26:06- Oh, see, and that's a good, that's another example
1:26:08of a jumping into frame thing.
1:26:10- Yeah, you know what, that's it, yeah.
1:26:12'Cause, you know, and the suspense, right?
1:26:16It's 'cause the Wampa, the first time you see him,
1:26:21it's the shock air, right?
1:26:23Like Luke is like looking for comets or whatever
1:26:25to hit the ground and all of a sudden, boom,
1:26:28the Wampa jumps into frame and makes a terrible noise.
1:26:31So you've got that, right?
1:26:33That, and yeah, that, Jonas didn't like that.
1:26:36And Jonas wanted that whole, the whole thing skipped though
1:26:38because he also could not bear the suspense of Luke.
1:26:42- Hanging there like a side of beef.
1:26:44- Yeah, and not, you know, it's like the first time
1:26:46he's ever even tried to use the force to get a lightsaber
1:26:49and it's just sitting there jiggling, you know.
1:26:51It's like film school 101, you know,
1:26:53like how to build a little suspense, you know,
1:26:55jiggle the lightsaber, do this, the mute, you know,
1:26:58perfect, of course, John Williams score for the moment,
1:27:01which furthers the suspense, couldn't take it.
1:27:04It would just have like an aneurysm.
1:27:06- What about one that I was scared of
1:27:08and my kid was scared of, what about in episode four
1:27:11when Luke's looking through the binoculars
1:27:13and the Tuscan Raider goes, "Rrrr!"
1:27:16- No. - Not at all.
1:27:17- Even though, to me, it's actually just,
1:27:19it's the same thing, right? - Yeah, totally.
1:27:20- No, yeah, it didn't bother him, nope.
1:27:23- That's so weird.
1:27:24See, this is what I'm talking about.
1:27:25- Right, the Wampa, terrifying.
1:27:27The Tuscan Raider who does the exact same thing. (laughs)
1:27:32- You know, but you know, here's, but you get,
1:27:34I remember talking to Matt Howey about this
1:27:35and about how his daughter, he felt like his daughter was,
1:27:38you know, very sensitive to certain kinds of things.
1:27:40She's a really sweet kid, and is like relationship things,
1:27:42and some people are very sensitive to almost everything
1:27:44and other people, it's virtually impossible to tell.
1:27:47My daughter has seen some really grisly shit in movies.
1:27:50Like she saw Deadpool putting his head back on
1:27:52at the end of an X-Men.
1:27:53I didn't show her the whole movie.
1:27:54I was just like, you gotta see the scene
1:27:55where Deadpool puts his head back on.
1:27:57It's pretty great.
1:27:58A terrible movie.
1:27:58But there are some things where I can't guess.
1:28:01Okay, so for example, she's watched a ton of Doctor Who,
1:28:03a little scared by the Daleks.
1:28:05She's watched pretty much almost every Marvel movie
1:28:09except for a few.
1:28:11And all the Star Wars movies numerous times.
1:28:14But then you know what we watch?
1:28:15Did you ever see that show on Cartoon Network
1:28:18from last year called Over the Garden Wall?
1:28:20- No, never heard of it.
1:28:21- It's kind of like, it's an Adventure Timey thing
1:28:23about these two little boys who are brothers
1:28:25having these like kind of fairytale adventures
1:28:27combined with like a Silly Symphonies cartoon feel.
1:28:29It's a really great show,
1:28:31but it is like a fairytale kind of show
1:28:35where there's scary stuff that's not exactly explained.
1:28:39But it's a kids show.
1:28:40It's like it is in the same way as Adventure Time, kind of.
1:28:42It's kind of a kids show.
1:28:44And that is the one stuck with her,
1:28:46this creature on there called the Beast.
1:28:48And I didn't find out for weeks
1:28:49that she thought the Beast was under her bed.
1:28:51She was scared to even say anything.
1:28:53And I was like, "Oh honey, I am so sorry."
1:28:54And mom, of course, gives me the eyes.
1:28:57It's like, "See, see, see?
1:28:58"I knew this was gonna happen."
1:28:59But again, would you guess?
1:29:01I mean, she didn't mind people's faces melting off
1:29:03in Raiders of the Lost Ark,
1:29:05But the idea of like a black bee,
1:29:07this kind of cartoon bear in the forest is terrifying.
1:29:11Who knows?
1:29:12- Yeah, I remember I had a friend growing up who,
1:29:15I missed, I don't know how,
1:29:18but I missed Raiders of the Lost Ark
1:29:20when it was in the theaters.
1:29:22So I didn't see it.
1:29:23But it always bothered me.
1:29:25- How old were you?
1:29:26I was about 13, 14.
1:29:28- I was eight.
1:29:29So, you know, or nine, eight?
1:29:32I think it was 1981, so I was eight.
1:29:34But I desperately wanted to see it,
1:29:37couldn't understand how I missed it.
1:29:39Seemed like something I could've got my dad to take me to.
1:29:41Somehow I missed it, but then, of course,
1:29:43once it was out of theaters, there was no chance to see it.
1:29:45But I knew the basic story,
1:29:47and I just knew that there was something about it
1:29:49at the end, everybody's faces melted.
1:29:51And my one friend growing up
1:29:52was completely freaked out about it.
1:29:55He had gone to see it and came out crying,
1:29:57embarrassed himself, like his mom came out
1:30:00of the movie theater. - Poor kid, oh no.
1:30:02just cry and he wasn't the type of scary because it isn't just that like haha
1:30:06little skin melts off it's like a full-on Ray Harry housing thing we're
1:30:09like their entire head like it's a horrifying really effective effect yeah
1:30:15yeah but he was freaked out and he was the type of kid who just would not you
1:30:19know he wasn't like a sense you wouldn't call him a sensitive kid you really
1:30:23wouldn't you know it's just a normal boy who's going to see what should be and
1:30:27that just was happened to be his thing yeah I get just touched a nerve what
1:30:31What about, have you seen either the trailer or the movie for Paddington?
1:30:36That's probably Little Young for Jonas.
1:30:38Yeah, no.
1:30:39But you've seen the trailer, right?
1:30:40I've seen the trailer.
1:30:41Okay.
1:30:42The trailer, I have heard from friends that the movie is, well, it's one of those movies,
1:30:46one of those rare movies where the movie is actually way better than the trailer looks,
1:30:49which I'm very glad to hear.
1:30:50But you've seen the trailer.
1:30:51There's a scene where he's in the bathroom.
1:30:53I don't, I'm going to, someday my daughter's going to hear this.
1:30:55I'm going to be in so much trouble.
1:30:56There's a scene in the bathroom where he's like interacting with what it is to be a bear
1:31:00using the bathroom and he takes a toothbrush and sticks it in his ear and pulls out this giant wad
1:31:06of totally disgusting looking earwax. It's a dumb shot. It's about three seconds and if I say the
1:31:14word Paddington my kid gets freaked out. She cannot stop thinking about the disgusting earwax. She
1:31:18will hear nothing about going to see that movie because of this one scene with earwax. Remember
1:31:23she's seen Deadpool put his head back on but the earwax thing put her off her beer. Yeah it's
1:31:28inexplicable. Can I toss out one more axis in bad parenting is the balance, weighing the balance.
1:31:37Okay, so let's take an extreme example. Let's take a kid who's like a classic introduction to movies
1:31:46age of like five. Would you show your kid the third X-Men movie if they're five years old?
1:31:55See now me, I'm gonna go, "You know what? I'm not because it's not a very good movie.
1:32:01There is a lot of inside words in it as we say in our house. There is some violence in it,
1:32:06but you know what? It's just not worth it because whatever she sees in it, it's not worth it because
1:32:09the movie is not that good. Would you hesitate to show your kid Toy Story 2? Oh my gosh, no.
1:32:14It's got scary things in it, a little bit, but it's so worth it." Right? So isn't that part of
1:32:20the balance though? It isn't like you're making your kids sit there and watch Castle Freak or
1:32:23or something like you're thinking like oh this is a perfect is this the perfect age
1:32:28to introduce this wonderful story to this kid yeah that's a very good point um it has
1:32:35to be you know the the quality of the movie factors because i mean in my own defense i'm
1:32:39sitting there with her watching the movie like what you know except in the case of mulan
1:32:42too when i'm on my ipad like i am there watching the movie with her we're talking about the
1:32:47movie not that it's like you know freaking harvard or something but just to be clear
1:32:50Like I it's got to be a movie. I like it's got to be good and it's got to be appropriate
1:32:54given what I can know or guess I
1:32:56Totally agree with that. I think you know what else had Jonah seen early
1:33:04I mean he saw the Bond movies back when Dan and I were talking about him
1:33:07I mean, you know, I don't know if you watched all of them with me
1:33:09but he sat through a bunch of them with me and
1:33:11that was weird on two levels because it also in addition to the fact that it's kind of violent for a
1:33:17a kid who was probably six or seven at the time.
1:33:20There's the anachronisms, right?
1:33:25I mean, I think Dan and I spent like half an hour
1:33:27just talking about-- - I got you on the pacing.
1:33:29And this is one that blew me out of the water.
1:33:30I sent you that picture of my kid
1:33:31punching Goldfinger in the face at a casino.
1:33:34Here's the thing, I knew this one was gonna be
1:33:37a long shot. - Look, people are gonna think
1:33:39that that was like a total Merlin euphemism,
1:33:42but you literally sent me a text
1:33:44with a picture of your daughter
1:33:46next to a picture of Goldfinger.
1:33:48- An unlicensed mural of James Bond characters.
1:33:51Punching our Goldfinger in the face.
1:33:54Okay, so, okay, and this one,
1:33:58I barely, barely, barely got this one past the censors.
1:34:00My wife was pretty iffy about this.
1:34:03'Cause if it's one where we're really worried,
1:34:04I will watch the entire movie through again to be sure.
1:34:07I definitely, we have to find time
1:34:09to talk about '80s movies
1:34:10and how, what completely weird animals '80s movies are.
1:34:13'Cause you never know when some boobies
1:34:15are gonna show up in an '80s movie.
1:34:16It's crazy.
1:34:17But Goldfinger, I was like,
1:34:18"Oh, it really is the best James Bond movie."
1:34:22And it's got this kind of a silly plot,
1:34:25but it's not that hard to follow.
1:34:26But you know what my main thing was?
1:34:28I was like, "She is going to watch,
1:34:32"she'll watch up to when he takes off the scuba thing
1:34:34"and have his tux on."
1:34:35That's pretty funny.
1:34:36But I was like, "The pacing of this movie
1:34:38"by her standards is so glacial,
1:34:40"there's no way she's gonna watch more than 20 minutes."
1:34:42And then it became the movie that she demanded to watch.
1:34:45It was completely perplexing.
1:34:46She's watching a thing where people are sitting
1:34:47and drinking mint juleps in Kentucky
1:34:49and talking about contaminating gold.
1:34:51I was blown away.
1:34:52So again, I had no idea that ended up being one
1:34:55that she really likes.
1:34:55And also when the laser almost cuts him in the penis,
1:34:57she turns and goes, "It's gonna cut him in the penis."
1:34:59(laughing)
1:35:01- We did it in 2011.
1:35:03So Jonas was seven when I let him watch.
1:35:05- Same here with her.
1:35:06- Yeah, seven.
1:35:07- Right.
1:35:08(laughing)
1:35:09- Seven year.
1:35:10- I don't think I watched it.
1:35:10- I watched it when I was seven.
1:35:11It was on TV once a year.
1:35:13I think the same way I don't know I mean you know one thing too with the violence
1:35:19I know and I know a lot of the you know there's what are the big three there's
1:35:23violence language and sex right I mean that's it's the big three like concerns
1:35:30you got smoking got sass mouth but I would say violent scariness scariness is
1:35:35I would say scariness is probably the top issue because I really do think that
1:35:39that a truly scary movie can upset a kid for days.
1:35:44I do realize, I absolutely realize that there are some kids,
1:35:49a lot of times boys, who if they see a movie
1:35:52where there's a lot of shooting action,
1:35:55even in a sort of cartoony way like Star Wars,
1:35:58that it gets the kid all amped up
1:36:00and then the kid starts jumping around the house
1:36:02smashing things, right?
1:36:03And it's like--
1:36:04- Or like I've shown her bits,
1:36:06I've shown her YouTube videos of Bruce Lee,
1:36:08like a best of Bruce Lee or something like that.
1:36:10And she just wants to kick everything after that.
1:36:13- Well, or worse, that kids wanna kick other kids
1:36:16or something like that. - Yeah, right, right.
1:36:17- Well, Jonas has never ever been like that.
1:36:18Jonas is a very gentle kid,
1:36:20and anything that he sees in a movie
1:36:22does not alter his behavior in the real world.
1:36:26So I mean, I think it allowed us to be a little permissive
1:36:29in that way.
1:36:30But I think most kids are actually pretty good that way.
1:36:32I think it's kind of rare.
1:36:34So the violence we've always, I don't know,
1:36:37a little liberal on? It depends on the violence. It depends on, I mean, you know, the thing is there
1:36:42are phrases that I would hear people use before I had a child and I would just, I would want to
1:36:47strangle the person. The phrase, a phrase I used to sneer at "imitative behavior," you know, that's
1:36:53sometimes in these reviews you'll see, well, it contains, you know, sass mouth and "imitative
1:36:57behavior," meaning, you know, the three stooges, right? That's a good example. Like, if you watch
1:37:01enough Three Stooges, you're probably gonna want to hit somebody on the head, you know, Maggie
1:37:04Simpson with the mallet or whatever but I think I think there's also I have
1:37:09fun this is really where I don't know I'm out on a limb but I think there are
1:37:13differences there's different kinds of violence I think stormtroopers getting
1:37:17bloodlessly shot with comic book violence is really different from
1:37:20Hellraiser and war or like the like saw I think there is a really big difference
1:37:26in degree and the personal miss of it so like there are some things and again we
1:37:30You gotta talk about 70s and 80s movies.
1:37:32There is so much completely random weird nudity and sex
1:37:36in 70s and 80s movies, especially 80s movies,
1:37:38but there's also some extremely personal violence
1:37:41in those kinds of movies.
1:37:43So the idea of holding somebody
1:37:44with a knife to their throat and cutting them,
1:37:47I think of that as a different kind of animal
1:37:48than a storm trooper getting shot personally.
1:37:51- Yeah, I do too, or even with just sticking to guns with,
1:37:54like when Bond, especially in the older ones,
1:37:57when Bond shoots somebody,
1:37:58It's practically like shooting a stormtrooper.
1:38:00I mean, it's like, you know, like the squib,
1:38:03the squib in the chest was just like a puff of smoke
1:38:05and the guy just, you know, falls into, you know,
1:38:10sharks with lasers pit.
1:38:11Whereas I think the more visceral violence
1:38:18and the more recent ones, like the Craig ones, you know,
1:38:21is a little different.
1:38:22- Oh my gosh.
1:38:24Oh no, no, no.
1:38:25I mean, this-- - Well, a lot different.
1:38:26- Yeah, yeah.
1:38:27I mean, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for some beef jerky.
1:38:29I thought I could pull it off.
1:38:31(laughing)
1:38:33How's it going?
1:38:35- What do you think about the actual ratings?
1:38:38I still think it was a mistake
1:38:40to introduce the rating PG-13.
1:38:42- I find it, well, it certainly was easier at one time
1:38:48to understand, everybody knew what R-rated meant.
1:38:51R-rated meant you could expect some serious nudity
1:38:55and simulated sex.
1:38:57You could expect some shits and fucks,
1:38:59and you could expect smoking and drugs
1:39:02and French connection.
1:39:03That's an R-rated movie.
1:39:04That was easy to understand.
1:39:06Now, when, per that article I one-tenth read today,
1:39:091984 comes along, you've got, was it "Temple of Doom?"
1:39:12No. - Yep.
1:39:13"Temple of Doom" prompted-- - And "Gremlins"
1:39:15were two movies that people were just like,
1:39:17"This is just..."
1:39:18Now, "Gremlins," I think I could see "Gremlins"
1:39:19freaking my kid out, personally.
1:39:22And so it's kind of a weird movie.
1:39:24- Yeah, it is a weird movie.
1:39:25We just rewatched it, not recently,
1:39:27but maybe like last Christmas,
1:39:28'cause it's sort of a Christmas movie.
1:39:30- Yeah, it is. - So like about a year ago.
1:39:32- But even something like a movie we all love,
1:39:34it's, take a movie like "Groundhog Day."
1:39:37If "Groundhog Day" had just the smallest bit of editing,
1:39:42it would be maybe a canonical family movie.
1:39:45It's so close to being a, "Ghostbusters."
1:39:48You know how much nookie there is in "Ghostbusters"?
1:39:51You got a fake blowjob.
1:39:52You got, remember that?
1:39:55Remember that? Where Dan Aykroyd gets the ghost blowjob?
1:39:57I do.
1:39:58And it's like, what's this doing in this movie?
1:40:00This is a movie for kids.
1:40:04Or just, you know, there's all these movies. This is still true today.
1:40:07I know with the Marvel movies, they're usually pretty good with the salty language until like the last act.
1:40:12And that's when all the shits and fucks come out.
1:40:15It's always like, what is the rule? Isn't there kind of like a standard for how many you're allowed in a PG-13 movie?
1:40:20Yeah, I think there's some kind of...
1:40:22And I think they'd like to really load him up in the back too for when the closing action
1:40:25but I'm just saying like that's the part that's perplexing is there like are you gonna tell
1:40:29me Ghostbusters is not right for kids oh here we go Back to the Future like there's some
1:40:33stuff in Back Back to the Future is a great a great family movie that still has some stuff
1:40:37in it that's a little edgy I mean you know he's in his underwear I guess that's not a
1:40:42big deal but you know it's straight Oh Home Alone I mean would you Home Alone that's a
1:40:47kids movie right yeah we've watched him yeah he gets an iron in the face
1:40:50that's that's worse than Wolverine I don't know I don't know the violence in
1:41:00Home Alone is kind of weird because it's on the one hand it's like they're kind
1:41:03of going for that Three Stooges thing and then the other hand there's like
1:41:06actual acid like walking up the steps in bare feet and you see the nail sticking
1:41:13out of the step and you're like this is the most horrific thing that I've ever
1:41:16seen he's because every kid's terrified your parents get you terrified about
1:41:19I get tetanus from a nail right and he steps on in like a three inch exposed like nail
1:41:25right it it is
1:41:27it's an interesting movie because it
1:41:30It does though bit like his
1:41:33What's his name Kevin young Kevin's mastery of these two buffoon criminals is?
1:41:39established cinematically such that you kind of get the sense that the kids gonna come out on top that he's you know,
1:41:47And that therefore his mastery of these two criminals, the way that he prolongs their stuff,
1:41:52it really does kind of in a sense, it's a little bit more like torture than self-defense.
1:41:56[Crosstalk]
1:41:56Jared: It is, it's like Grand Guignol. It's like he's deliberately making this as awful as he can.
1:42:01Pete: Yeah, it's less self-defense and more torture. He's kind of enjoying it.
1:42:05[Laughter]
1:42:06Jared; Oh man.
1:42:08Pete; Actually, I think there's a couple of scenes where like one of his, you know,
1:42:11traps works and he just flat out like high fives himself.
1:42:14Yes, that's why I gotta pick that up, which does the like her
1:42:18fist out and pumps it in goes yes. Fuller go easy on the
1:42:23Pepsi. I love that movie, but I don't know. I'm just saying
1:42:28okay now how about this? Alright PG-13 so they they I
1:42:31think it was a mistake cuz I think that the old way was G.
1:42:35That's a kid's movie. That's for everybody. PG is it's in
1:42:42and R is for adults and doesn't matter why it doesn't matter if it's my PGP
1:42:47says it all PG PG says like your mileage may vary like yeah you know it basically
1:42:51it almost kind of says like you need to like watch this before your kids do
1:42:57practically or like or like be advised right yeah be advised think about it you
1:43:02know if your kid is younger and if your kid is over 10 it's probably probably
1:43:06good yeah you know yeah I don't know but it's again that could to me the hard
1:43:10part is this sensitive, I sent you a link to this website that I look at a lot and I'm
1:43:16somewhat ambivalent about it and yet I find it extremely useful. I cannot believe I'm
1:43:19saying this. Have you seen, did you just look at that link, Kids in Mind? It's a very interesting
1:43:23idea because they go out and they review these movies, but it's very funny. So the none of
1:43:28it is they come up with these three numbers, not numerals because there's a 10. But how
1:43:36How much sex and nudity is there from zero to 10?
1:43:40How much violence and gore from zero to 10?
1:43:42How much profanity from zero to 10?
1:43:44Which I think it's a great, at least a fast glance.
1:43:48I mean, sometimes I use this to go like,
1:43:49okay, we're thinking about these two different movies,
1:43:51like which one of these looks better on the face of it?
1:43:54And sometimes, you know what I mean?
1:43:54It's a quick sniff test.
1:43:56But then did you go in and look at the actual page
1:44:00at like how it's like porn,
1:44:02where they describe all the stuff that's actually in it?
1:44:05No I didn't I'm looking at it now.
1:44:07Sponge and the way they describe it it's hilarious I want to meet the person who writes this.
1:44:12Spongebob movie which I absolutely do not want to see.
1:44:15Sex and nudity you get it too.
1:44:16We see many human men on the beach with bare chests.
1:44:19Many women wear skimpy bikinis and reveal cleavage.
1:44:22A sponge accidentally pulls the shorts partially down from a starfish's waist and we see the
1:44:25upper buttocks and buttock cleavage.
1:44:28I've got one here from Mordecai.
1:44:30Husband and his wife attempt to kiss several times in different scenes, but his moustache makes her gag
1:44:36And he gags in reflex. Oh my god
1:44:40Please see the violence and gore category for more details on the gagging
1:44:44It's but it doesn't it read like something like a Japanese man would buy for porn
1:44:48American sniper profanity gets a 10 about a hundred and fifteen f-words and its derivatives ten sexual references 32
1:44:56Gotta logical terms, 20 anatomical terms,
1:44:5812 mild obscenities, name calling,
1:45:00including sunshine, quitter, nuts, old man,
1:45:02hotbox, arrogant, self-centered, sitting ducks, legend.
1:45:05- See, why count all--
1:45:07- Somebody wrote all of those down, Jon.
1:45:09- Why count all 115 fucks?
1:45:12Because clearly, I mean, how long is the movie?
1:45:15Even if it's three hours.
1:45:16- Right, right, right.
1:45:17- You're on the border--
1:45:18- Two hours and 12 minutes.
1:45:20- So it's roughly one a minute.
1:45:23- You gotta fuck a minute.
1:45:25Right, unless there's like a burst at the end. It's, you know, I think you only have to go about
1:45:32two or three movies or minutes into this movie and you can just check off 10 on a profanity.
1:45:36Some of these. Oh my god.
1:45:38All right, it's like this. Like, if you're like the inspector for a hotel,
1:45:42like you don't have to count the bugs.
1:45:45Oh, like once you see five rats in the lobby.
1:45:47Yeah.
1:45:48New dealer.
1:45:49You just check that off. You just check it off. You don't have to count them.
1:45:52Right.
1:45:52You don't have to count them.
1:45:541998 film a lot of people a lot of families have enjoyed called the big Lebowski profanity. They give it a 10 about 240 f-words
1:46:01Many scatological references many anatomical references many mild obscenities here to fix Dinah Kabul
1:46:10This is great. I I I love this but I know that I'm gonna lose a lot of time on this site
1:46:17Like oh, I know but the things I can't show it to my wife
1:46:20Oh, I mean, I'm gonna say can't she's a grown-ass woman
1:46:22But you know it makes it when you read when you read it in this clinical way
1:46:26It makes it sound so much worse when they say a starfish is
1:46:30Swimsuit is pulled down reveals buttocks guys. That's Patrick. It's Patrick's but he's a goddamn cartoon character. It's okay if we see his butt
1:46:38All right. I looked up fantastic. Mr. Fox which is actually I was just talking to do I just watched it. I love it
1:46:46Kottke called it. Oh, I when I linked to a picture from it and he said it's underrated
1:46:51I think it's my favorite Wes Anderson
1:46:52It's it's it's one of my all-time favorite movies let alone one of our families like there's two movies
1:46:58Yeah, if we can't decide on anything and it comes to blows it's either the Incredibles or mr. Fox. That's it. Yeah, that's
1:47:03Those are yeah, those are two good ones to leave at the top of the queue. All right, so
1:47:12For sex and nudity. It's only ranked a one out of ten which meshes with my memory
1:47:17Here's what we've got. We've got a person in a swimsuit
1:47:21husband and a wife kissing
1:47:23Fox kissing hug a teen boy and a teen girl Fox flirt in a couple of scenes
1:47:29I do remember that you're supposed to be my lab partner. I know it number. No, you're not you're disloyal
1:47:34Number two a rat refers to a fox's wife as the quote town tart
1:47:41(laughing)
1:47:43- Right, yeah, I never--
1:47:46- A fox wife tells her fox husband that she is pregnant.
1:47:50So that counts for a one on the sex nudity scale
1:47:53on pregnant? - While they're in a cage.
1:47:56Oh man, yeah, but again, you know what this is though?
1:47:59Okay, so I just gotta say,
1:48:00this is actually really helpful though,
1:48:02'cause like you say, this is the rats in the lobby title.
1:48:04It's like you can see, like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
1:48:07no, no, no, no, no, no, Big Lebowski's not gonna be great
1:48:09to watch with the kids, am I wrong?
1:48:10No, we're gonna skip this one.
1:48:12But it is also good that you can go through
1:48:14and look for like the stuff is like a trigger for your kids.
1:48:17- 27 exclamation, this is for profanity,
1:48:2027 exclamations.
1:48:21- What the cuss?
1:48:22- Cuss word.
1:48:23- Cussing with me?
1:48:24- What the cuss?
1:48:25(laughing)
1:48:26- They count that as a cuss word?
1:48:28- Yeah.
1:48:28- Cuss is a cuss word?
1:48:30- Cluster cuss.
1:48:31(laughing)
1:48:36They have a scatological terms glossary.
1:48:40You got F word derivatives,
1:48:43which all have little asterisks in them.
1:48:44Scatological terms, religious profanities, mild obscenities.
1:48:48Friggin' would be counted as a mild obscenity.
1:48:51- All right. - Derogatory terms.
1:48:53Wow.
1:48:54But you know, I still, I gotta say,
1:48:56no, no, let me ask you if you remember this.
1:48:57Do you remember?
1:48:59I'm gonna say circa mid to late 90s.
1:49:02Do you remember a service
1:49:04that was actually kind of like what became Netflix,
1:49:07where you could get edited movies.
1:49:10I think it might have been
1:49:11a somewhat overtly Christian place,
1:49:14but you could get like a PG movie
1:49:16that had all of the stuff a certain kind of religious person
1:49:19would find offensive cut out of it.
1:49:20Do you remember that at all?
1:49:21- I do remember hearing about it.
1:49:22- I remember hearing about it.
1:49:24I don't know where it went or what it did,
1:49:25but isn't that, especially now in the digital age,
1:49:27that's a very interesting idea.
1:49:29- Yeah, 'cause it would be,
1:49:30you could do it without losing fidelity.
1:49:32- I mean, you need just some basic metadata
1:49:34on like, well, you know, you could go in, it'd be so great.
1:49:37'Cause if you could go in and say,
1:49:39you know what, my family is observant
1:49:40and we don't want any god-dams.
1:49:42Could you, just with audio, blip out the god-dams,
1:49:46but leave in the horrific violence or whatever.
1:49:48Let's say you wanna show your kids Passion of the Christ.
1:49:50Let's go see what Passion of the Christ looks like.
1:49:53But you know what I mean?
1:49:53'Cause I gotta say, I might find that,
1:49:56it kinda goes against some of my values
1:50:00about censorship or something,
1:50:01but that's what I'm asking for, you know?
1:50:03There are some movies I am much more likely
1:50:05to have my daughter watch in a hotel room
1:50:08because I know they've been edited down.
1:50:10They've taken out the really cool.
1:50:11We watched Highlander in a hotel room
1:50:13and she thought it was a riot.
1:50:14I would never show that to her at home, unedited.
1:50:17(laughing)
1:50:18- I never thought about that, about looking for a hotel edit.
1:50:22(laughing)
1:50:22- I love a hotel edit.
1:50:24- The director's cut and then there's Hilton's cut.
1:50:27- Wow, this is an unusual statistical spread
1:50:31on Passion of the Christ.
1:50:32Sex and nudity, it gets a one.
1:50:34Profanity, it gets a one.
1:50:36Violence and gore, full 10.
1:50:39Oh my goo.
1:50:40(laughing)
1:50:43Let her dance, dance, let her dance, dance.
1:50:48- I've been, now I'm looking for movies
1:50:50that I have let Jonah see
1:50:51that they don't even bother to list
1:50:53because I don't think any-- - It would be so inappropriate.
1:50:55- Right, The Shining is not listed.
1:50:57- Oh, come on.
1:50:59Are you kidding me?
1:51:00- That I've let him see it?
1:51:01- Yeah.
1:51:02Yeah.
1:51:03- Wow.
1:51:04- I think that's the only Kubrick movie he's seen.
1:51:05- You're Batman.
1:51:07Wow.
1:51:08She's never seen any Kubrick.
1:51:11- That was recent though.
1:51:12That was within the last year.
1:51:13- Okay, yeah, well.
1:51:14- I think it was like last year.
1:51:15- You're gonna say Clockwork Orange
1:51:15till he's like 12 probably, right?
1:51:17- Yeah, Clockwork Orange is gonna have to wait.
1:51:19- Mm-hmm.
1:51:20- 'Cause, you know.
1:51:21- But there are some things.
1:51:22Oh, you know what, I'm not gonna tell you.
1:51:24I'll tell you when we're offline.
1:51:26But there's a movie that she has been dying to see
1:51:29for like a year.
1:51:30And we've read some of the book.
1:51:32We've told, I've told her the entire story.
1:51:34She really wants to see "Hunger Games."
1:51:37And I'm like, it's, she's seven.
1:51:40Like that's, it just, and again,
1:51:41why too much personal violence?
1:51:44Like that, the violence in "Hunger Games,"
1:51:46I'm gonna tell you, I don't care.
1:51:47I'm a 48 year old man.
1:51:49I'm gonna say it, I love "The Hunger Games."
1:51:50I thought it was a great movie.
1:51:51I thought it was a lot of fun.
1:51:52I thought it was very well done.
1:51:53And I just, I really liked it.
1:51:55And I cannot wait.
1:51:58It's one of those movies like,
1:51:59that I'm constantly saying to her,
1:51:59"Oh honey, I cannot wait
1:52:01until you're old enough to watch this with me.
1:52:03Like that one, Blade Runner.
1:52:05What about Blade Runner?
1:52:07Has he seen Blade Runner?
1:52:09- No.
1:52:09- Yeah, that's pretty-- - Let me think about that.
1:52:12- Yeah.
1:52:13- Huh, there's the Daryl Hannah character.
1:52:16- You got the eye, you got the replicants
1:52:18doing some pretty bad.
1:52:20Oh, you got Leon, you got Leon.
1:52:22There's some pretty bad stuff in that.
1:52:25- I would probably let him watch it now though.
1:52:26He's 11, I would probably let him watch it.
1:52:28- Yeah.
1:52:29- I'm worried how much did they play up
1:52:30that Daryl Hannah is a prostitute.
1:52:32(laughing)
1:52:33- That worries you.
1:52:35- A little.
1:52:36- Okay.
1:52:36You afraid it's gonna be imitative behavior?
1:52:38- Well, I don't know.
1:52:39I would probably-- - He's gonna wanna go out
1:52:40and get a skin job, if you know what I mean?
1:52:41- Yeah, but I would say only within like the last year or so
1:52:44I would say Blade Runner. - Oh, sure, sure, sure.
1:52:45- Probably.
1:52:46Well, was Blade Runner rated?
1:52:47It must have been rated R, right?
1:52:49- I think it's gotta be rated R, yeah.
1:52:50- Yeah.
1:52:51- Some of them are amazing though, I'm telling you.
1:52:52There's something about '80s movies
1:52:54that seems completely random.
1:52:56Movies that in my head I think of as being,
1:52:59like maybe 'cause I saw them when I was a young teenager.
1:53:02Like I'm so blown away,
1:53:03there's just be boobs out of nowhere in the movie.
1:53:05You're like, "Whoa, where did that come from?"
1:53:07- We just watched over Christmas,
1:53:09we watched "Weekend at Bernie's" and...
1:53:12(laughing)
1:53:13- How'd that go over?
1:53:15- He loved it, he absolutely loved it.
1:53:18But there were a couple of surprising '80s sort of boobies.
1:53:22- Yeah. - Yeah.
1:53:23I don't know how else to describe it.
1:53:25- Well, and the thing was that it was so egregious.
1:53:27I think a lot of the movies I'm thinking of,
1:53:29It was by the time you had theatrical,
1:53:33VHS or beta cable,
1:53:37and certainly get it ready for distribution on TV.
1:53:40And if you think about something like Caddyshack,
1:53:42or you think about, Caddyshack obviously way too much.
1:53:44But, can't wait till I can watch that with her.
1:53:47But, oh my God, I love it so much.
1:53:49- We thought about it.
1:53:50We thought about it and then we were like running it
1:53:51through our heads and there's so much of it that's good.
1:53:54But then, you know, like--
1:53:55- He'll appreciate it more later.
1:53:56I showed her some scenes.
1:53:57showed her Carl finding the candy bar in the pool I I don't know what we're gonna
1:54:01have the talk about what abortion is but it's not gonna be so that waitress has a
1:54:07baby but wasn't gonna say about oh so so but what's funny though cuz like I think
1:54:14about like how like egregious and unnecessary so many of the boobies are
1:54:18where like you could tell they made it to be easy to cut out where it'll just
1:54:22be like hey it's a shot of a girl taking her shirt off me like what was that but
1:54:25like you had to have that in every 80s movie early 80s movie think about like
1:54:29stripes you know I'm these movies that are like kind of mostly okay in some
1:54:33ways but then are like super inappropriate in other ways but yeah
1:54:37there's got to be this had to be like a scene where there were 23 year old like
1:54:42having a petrified at a party I heard yeah with feathered hair and they're
1:54:45either getting a hose down or having a pillow fight well an awful lot of
1:54:54actresses got hosed down or suds up in in completely mainstream Hollywood
1:55:00movies in the 1980s let's have a car wash to save the orphanage but there's
1:55:06no orphanage in the plot sponges are soft right so what are we gonna tell
1:55:10people how do we help people with this John there are new parents out there
1:55:13people are having babies like crazy people how do we help people with this I
1:55:19don't know I feel like you I feel like you got to have faith in your kid I feel
1:55:23like because I don't know I just remember when I was a kid when I was not allowed to watch
1:55:28certain movies it was a constant source of frustration for me.
1:55:31And you felt didn't you feel like a pariah?
1:55:33I did and we had a neighborhood movie theater and it was so great I think I had to have talked about
1:55:41this on the show at some point but it's probably years ago probably with like Dan but and it was
1:55:45I didn't even have to cross the street it was cata corner like a like up and around the block from my
1:55:50my parents' house.
1:55:51So I didn't even have to cross the street.
1:55:53And it was called The Majestic.
1:55:55And it was an old time vaudeville theater
1:55:58that at some point in the 40s or 50s
1:56:00was turned into a movie theater.
1:56:02And it was connected to the fire company.
1:56:06So half the building was fire trucks,
1:56:07the other half was a movie theater.
1:56:09And it was just right out of central casting
1:56:12of old time matinee movie theater.
1:56:15Velvet seats.
1:56:18- Wow.
1:56:19a balcony, a big balcony, like you would go around the side. And it was run by a family.
1:56:26The guy who owned it was Mr. Dieter. Dieter or Dietrich? Dieter, I think. And he was probably
1:56:32around 50. And his dad was the projectionist and the ticket taker at the front door. His
1:56:38dad, he must have been 75. But to our eyes as like eight, nine year olds, he was ancient.
1:56:44was older than God. He was older than the Earth. And then the kids, his ne'er-do-well
1:56:53teenage son would sometimes be working, and it was such a great place. Oh my God.
1:56:57Oh, could you sometimes get away with it?
1:57:00Well, what you could sometimes get away with is if the kid was behind... They had great popcorn,
1:57:04like the best popcorn in the universe. And they had... Because it was like a little movie theater,
1:57:11They never got movies when they were new they got movies right after they were new so like
1:57:15Empire Strikes Back would come out and it would play for three months at the multiplex
1:57:20All right, and then the majestic would get it for like, you know, however many weeks they wanted
1:57:25And they would sometimes have like two movies at the same time even though it was just you know
1:57:31It wasn't a multiplex one screen
1:57:32But like in the afternoon they might show like a kids movie like Peter Pan and then at nighttime
1:57:37There was a you know, John Travolta movie or something, right? I don't know
1:57:40And they would also show rock movies like concert films from like the
1:57:46movies kind of thing. Yeah like though I like just concert movies of like the
1:57:50Stones and Led Zeppelin and stuff like that my parents always get mad because
1:57:53when they showed those like our backyard would get trashed. Kids
1:57:57coming out of movie theater were like cut through like and and you know leave
1:58:01beer cans and stuff but it was such a great place but I remember we used to go
1:58:05as a kid, any Saturday, where it was if it was winter, or if it
1:58:10was rainy, or whatever, we would just go to the majestic, we
1:58:13would just go there because it was like $1 $1 matinee, your
1:58:15parent, your mom wouldn't mind giving you the money, you'd be
1:58:18out of their hair. But every once in a while, I remember one
1:58:20time specifically, I wasn't allowed to all my friends were
1:58:22going. And they didn't give it like one thing about Mr. Dieters,
1:58:25he didn't give two shits. How old you are, if you had your
1:58:27dollar, you could go see. So that the Saturday matinee was
1:58:31Kujo. This is my this whole story is my saying I was not
1:58:34allowed my mom checked and I knew she wouldn't let me see it so I hope I just
1:58:38said can I go to the Majestic and she said what's playing I said I don't know
1:58:41she goes well let me look and she looks you know in the newspaper of course and
1:58:46there it is Kujo rated R and now she could tell you if it well I don't know I
1:58:51can't remember if I got because you would just sometimes go and see what's
1:58:53there yeah and we would often go if they had the same movie two weeks in a row
1:58:57we'd go see it twice in a row and if we if we sat in the balcony last time we'll
1:59:01Sit up in the front row this time and you know half the time on the balcony
1:59:04We would just sit up there and throw popcorn on teenagers who were making out down below, you know in the back
1:59:09They're like little kids up in the front row little kids on the balcony and then like teenagers making out and like the back row
1:59:16We would like try to throw popcorn on them. Oh
1:59:18The great thing they had video games in the lobby, you know coin up
1:59:23It's like a little mini arcade in the lobby and you could play them
1:59:27And so I said that the old man's dad was the projectionist
1:59:30where the projection booth was up in the balcony
1:59:32and it took him, I swear, no joke,
1:59:34like five minutes to walk up the steps.
1:59:37Like he was seriously old.
1:59:39And he was so old that he would take the steps
1:59:41like left foot and then the right foot
1:59:43would be in the same step.
1:59:44- Oh no. - Left foot, right foot.
1:59:46So it was like a last call for video games.
1:59:48Like when his dad started going up the steps,
1:59:51you knew you had time for,
1:59:52you could still get one more game in.
1:59:54Without missing it.
1:59:56What a place but I couldn't get into I couldn't get in to see Kujo and I remember Blue Lagoon
2:00:01I remember missing out on the blue blue
2:00:03I remember seeing that on cable Oh brother
2:00:06But all my friends my friends parents just did my they just didn't check. I think I don't think anybody's I
2:00:12Was probably around eight or nine at the time
2:00:14I don't think anybody in their right mind would let their eight or nine year old see Kujo
2:00:17But here's the thing too, I remember thinking I would be fine
2:00:22I was not I've never once was upset by a movie in my entire life as a kid. I was you know, I think
2:00:28Pretty naturally mature I could have I and my friend so cujo and they were fine. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
2:00:35Including my friend Dave who is the kid who got freaked out by Raiders of the Lost Ark
2:00:40He went to see cujo thought it was a cool movie. Yeah, if you know what you're in for, you know, yeah
2:00:47I never tell my Blade Runner story. No, I hung out with older kids a lot of the time and I went back
2:00:53From Florida to visit my friends in Ohio
2:00:55Whatever that summer was some Blade Runner was out and they were all older than me and they could pass and I looked like I
2:01:01Was four. Oh, I'm just never forget we walk up there and they buy their tickets and my hand of God
2:01:07I walked up to the counter. I think I was holding an unlit cigarette
2:01:10Maybe they'd given me I woke up to the counter and I go one adult for Blade Runner
2:01:15How old are you I was 13 and like really one adult
2:01:20Superman -
2:01:26Did you ever do that as a teenager like like in your in your like teenage years
2:01:32Did you ever do the thing where you'd buy a ticket for one that you know?
2:01:36They'd sell you and then try to sneak in - I never that never occurred to me. It's such that's such a smart trick
2:01:42I was scared to do anything. I was always scared to buy beer
2:01:44beer I was scared to go to R-rated movies I was just I was so I was such a
2:01:48good kid I you know like a good kid like I did not want to disappoint anybody in
2:01:53authority I was scared I was scared no I was a scammer like the rise of the
2:01:59multiplex and then like once I was old enough those things that the whole point
2:02:03is those things make money because they're so understaffed they got like
2:02:06one kid that walks around and sweeps up popcorn once they know what he's paying
2:02:08the attention to who's going in those theaters you go and sit somewhere near
2:02:11an adult, you're good to go. Yeah, like, I think a bunch of
2:02:15Schwarzenegger's 80s movies were r rated. Oh, yeah. You know, it
2:02:20was all those. It's just always shooting people up and blowing
2:02:23things up. But we've got, you know, we would just go and buy
2:02:25tickets for, I don't know, whatever we thought we could get
2:02:27into. And you can always sneak in there was just always one guy,
2:02:30like, who would make sure you had a ticket. There is no money
2:02:33in pursuing that. No, I mean, there's money in running and
2:02:36selling, you know, goobers and popcorn. There's no money in
2:02:40monitoring those theaters I remember one time my friend Ethan and I went to a
2:02:44multiplex to I forget was there girls involved there might have it might it
2:02:51wasn't a date because I wasn't you know wasn't lucky enough to have dates but it
2:02:55might have been like us it was like a teenage situation over there were girls
2:02:58involved and so I could kind of pretend like maybe it would be a day and we
2:03:03wanted to see an r-rated movie but we were it was we weren't like 13 anymore
2:03:07We were maybe more like 15 or 16 and so we didn't think it'd be a problem
2:03:11And we asked for the R-rated movie and she said no, you know
2:03:16Do you have ID and we're like no and she was and she's like a 17 and we're like, of course
2:03:20And she's like no you're not and then we're like well give us two tickets for you know
2:03:25Whatever it was PG and she's like no. Oh no shit and with my friend Ethan's brother had
2:03:31Had driven us and dropped us off nice enough. He was like two or three years older
2:03:36So he was like 17 or 18 and he hadn't gone yet. He was still was there
2:03:40You know, we ran and got him and he he bought us our ticket. Oh, you're kidding
2:03:44Yeah, he bought us to it, but it was like but I still don't know how that got around
2:03:47I have no I have no respect for people who buy beer for underage kids
2:03:51But people who buy I said the guy who drinks a lot but but but somebody buying movie tickets for kids. That's pretty cool
2:03:57Yeah, but I don't know why she fell for that. She wouldn't fall for our will just buy the PG but she somehow fell for
2:04:05Apparently once there's a 17 year old involved you can get anybody in there show the ID they they can't say anything. That's the law, right?
2:04:12One adult I think we told her do that he was our parent
2:04:19Two years old walking in my dad holding a finger under your nose
2:04:23My dad says it's okay
2:04:27Blade Runner, I'll tell you what Blade Runner is a damn borderline movie for 10 10 years 11 year
2:04:33You know, there's again that that Hunger Games Die Hard
2:04:38There's so many movies where I'm like you so can't see this yet, but I really I cannot wait so my kid can see Die Hard
2:04:43Yeah, I remember
2:04:45My was not allowed to read
2:04:48The Catcher in the Rye and I don't even know why I wanted to at some point
2:04:53I'd you know, I had become a you know, a fairly
2:04:56avid reader and
2:04:59My mom, you know, definitely my mom encouraged it and you know would would I could buy books?
2:05:05We get books at library and at some point
2:05:07I wanted to read to catch her in the ride because I'd heard it was a cool book or whatever and
2:05:10She thought about I could tell she was really thoughtful and she was like, you know, it's a great book
2:05:14I can't wait for you to read it, but you're not you're not old enough yet and
2:05:17And I would ask like every six months. Can I read catch her?
2:05:21I can't read catch and right and eventually she let me and I forget I don't know how old I was but you know
2:05:25maybe like 12 or 13 and I read it and
2:05:29I was expecting it because it had been so set up by her not allowing me to be like Lolita or something
2:05:34Yeah, I thought it was gonna be like and this is gonna be some great stuff and I just remember being bored to tears
2:05:39I was like what the hell it's just a kid walking around. I appreciated that both so much more when I got older
2:05:44Oh, yeah, you know what and I wish that's what my mom had said to me
2:05:47I wish she hadn't made she was thinking too much about some of the content and some of the ideas and I really really
2:05:53fundamentally it was more like
2:05:55You're you you shouldn't bother reading it now. You won't appreciate it, right? Okay. I was just the trade-off
2:06:01That's kind of the trade-off we were talking about. It's a truly great book, but you're not ready for it yet
2:06:05Well, I'll give you and I'll tell you where I'm going with this is
2:06:08Movie wise it's actually rated G content wise. It's not that bad
2:06:13but I won't let Jonas watch 2001 right because I
2:06:18Strongly suspect he'll be bored to tears and I don't want him to get it
2:06:21his head that this movie is born. Or like or I mean watching the uh the ape stuff at the beginning
2:06:27going like oh that is so fake. I wonder if he would think it's fake some of it some of the back
2:06:32the the the staging looks fake I think the apes themselves are still I think they stand up.
2:06:36They look better than you'd expect that's that's for sure but no I'm with you that would be
2:06:39something that's kind of like me with James Bond and her like I was amazed that she could
2:06:43tolerate the pacing to watch Goldfinger like three times now it's it's crazy.
2:06:48There really is a scene in goldfinger where they just sit on a porch and drink mentula
2:06:52Just it goes on and on and then they have some discussions about whether they should go in or let james bond
2:06:57Keep doing his thing. James bond's in the cell. He's out of the cell
2:07:00He's in that he's in the he's in the world's craziest. He's hiding under the world's craziest rec room. My god
2:07:05What's that guy's name? Ken kurtis. What's the guy's name? Ken adams. Oh my god that that room
2:07:11I love that room so much
2:07:14And every time we watch it, when Goldfinger leaves to go make his deal with the guy who wants his money back,
2:07:19I always do the same stupid joke. I go, "Hey, we wanted to play billiards!"
2:07:23She laughs a little.
2:07:25Hey, I should go. I gotta try to get to this dry cleaner by six.
2:07:28What are we gonna do to help people here? I mean, your mileage may vary. What do we say?
2:07:32What do we say? I don't care about the people who think we're nuts, but like,
2:07:35what would you say as a good piece of advice? I would say one is, if it's a movie you consider
2:07:40a classic, you think your kid is almost ready for, watch it yourself.
2:07:42Yeah.
2:07:43with them not there yeah and also I would not be afraid to fast over yeah
2:07:49yeah pass pass forward fast over yeah yeah you got to watch it with them yeah
2:07:55yeah that's what I think still gonna hold off on Die Hard though I think we
2:07:59just got into Die Hard this year we have this was the first year so that
2:08:03beautiful Christmas movie 10 10 years that's just about a perfect movie yeah I
2:08:08don't know I don't know why I had it filed away as something he could watch
2:08:11when he was 10 yeah yeah well thanks thanks for having me on man it's always
2:08:15a pleasure oh it is we should just do this every week and not put it out no
2:08:21wouldn't it be good for us to be good for us I think we should start our own
2:08:24version of this kids in mind and we'll do our own we'll do our own version
2:08:28we're not gonna count the F words yeah just tell you if they swear no no no
2:08:31we'll make it look no ours is our our sites gonna be called rats in the lobby
2:08:34and we're just gonna let you know if you're if your kids are real punk or
2:08:36pussy just skip it skip it oh god that's the end that's it