37: Live from Úll 2013
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Where's our Guinness?
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Oh, Bulmer's. Awesome, awesome.
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You remember the last time I did a live talk show?
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I think it was the last time I did a live one. It was the one at WWDC.
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And it was me and Cable Sasser from Panic.
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Oh, I sat on something. Jesus Christ.
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That's your present, man.
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And we're like, I don't know, 10, 15 minutes in and it's going...
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I mean, Cable's great, so the thing was the dynamite.
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And my phone goes off in my pocket.
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I thought, everybody knows I'm doing this. Who the hell would text me?
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And of course, I took it out and did the slide in front of the...
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It's my wife saying that they closed the bar.
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- Jackass. - Disaster.
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And that her and Mike Montero were going to kick my ass.
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So I interrupted the show and had them reopen the bar.
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Apparently they did it as like a courtesy to me and Cable to...
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Hey, we don't want anybody quiet.
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I get the feeling it's not going to be a problem in Ireland.
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No, I think we're good.
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The bar's still open, right?
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Michael Lobb, good to see you.
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There is a tornado warning in Dublin.
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This is actually not... This is totally true.
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This is totally true, I'm told.
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Is this a normal thing?
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Yeah, is this... How common are tornadoes?
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Alright, first time.
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That's why I didn't show up on my weather app.
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What do we do?
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Who's got a flight tonight?
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I don't think you're going anywhere.
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Really, these are the pauses you were doing during your talk, they were driving me crazy.
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I'm like, "Is he, has he lost the thread, is it dramatic?"
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And you were solid, but it was like, every time I was looking over at Amy Jane going like,
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"It could be over!"
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You know, and you guys were sitting in front and I could see you and I could tell that you were...
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"Oh my god, he lost it. It's gone. He's no slides. Totally screwed."
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It did not happen. I did not lose, like you said, you called it losing the thread.
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I did not, but have you ever seen anybody lose the thread during a talk?
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I've done it. I'm up there and I'm up there and I do my slide and I get the next one. I'm like...
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I have no idea what I'm talking about.
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Interesting segue about random thing.
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To me, when I give a talk, I have a series of points I want to make.
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And I do this thing now where I do write the whole thing out in some form where I could just read it,
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but that's just to get all the thoughts out.
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But then I have these bullet points, and I know that there's a connection from this one to the next one.
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And the pauses really weren't, "Oh shit, what's my next point?"
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It's, "I know what my next point is, but have I made all the jokes I wanted to make on this one?"
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Right, right, right. They were killing me. It was killing me.
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I did forget one joke, and this is great, having the talk show here, I can do it,
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is the one joke I wanted to make, and I thought of it literally like 10 minutes before I was
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going to go on, I thought, "Oh, that is perfect. It's a perfect joke," was towards the end of my talk
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and I was talking about my problems with the word uncompromising.
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And what I wanted to say is, I was going to say, "I'm going to steal Michael's shtick and say,
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When you say uncompromising, I hear, I don't know what the fuck I believe in.
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It's a good shtick. It's a very good shtick.
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It is. It works for me.
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So one of the things is we could actually talk Apple at the conference.
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Oh, my God. Let's do that.
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Let's actually do it.
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It's not news news.
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I think it was maybe like 10 days ago, but I've been in an airplane and stuff.
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But Ron Johnson, former head of Apple retail, left like two years ago, became the CEO of
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JCPenney, a department, US department store chain, and he got fired like ten years ago.
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How would you describe JCPenney? I suspect for all of our European
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audience members, they probably don't really know.
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JCPenney, your department store, nothing in particular, no, what was that?
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Yeah, exactly. So nothing particularly noteworthy about it.
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Suffering because it was sort of in the price war and they brought Ron in to, you know, sprinkle some Apple magic on top of it.
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And then nowhere near as cheap as Walmart.
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And doesn't look it is more upscale, but not truly upscale, not like a...
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And again, I don't know which change you guys know, but like Macy's or Bloomingdale's or something like that.
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Nordstrom's, you guys probably don't know, but Nordstrom's is like the best.
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Not it's like in between like they didn't know if they were discounted. They didn't know if they were nice
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The other big thing that they did and they were almost famous for it in the retailing and this is stuff
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I learned after Ron Johnson took the job, but the JC penny had in all seriousness like
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275 sales a year
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Like so that's practically like every single weekday. There would be a new sale where this is 40% off and that's 30% off
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And that the only people who effectively shop there were people who were looking for barbers.
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So what do you think...
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I have so many questions about why do you think he left to go there in the first place?
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I didn't work with Ram when I was at Apple at all.
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I had like a couple meetings. Really, really smart guy.
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But I mean the story I tell myself is it's just like you've kind of like built the retail giant
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that is the Apple store.
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And it was like time to go do something different, right?
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So, I mean, there was no scuttlebutt about like,
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hey, there was a problem there.
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He gave a lot of advanced warning to Apple.
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It seemed like a graceful transition.
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And he suddenly wanted to go like, you know,
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revive JCPenney.
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Also, JCPenney is based in Texas,
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which I think is where he was from.
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So it was closer to home as well.
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- The other thing too, I guess, just,
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I mean, probably a lot of people know,
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but biographically or like job career-wise,
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before Apple, he was at Target,
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which was very successful.
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So it was really, it wasn't just the success of Apple.
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It was like two straight retail successes, Target and then Apple.
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And then it was just like, I mean, we were talking about this before.
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It's like it's so what happened, right, is one of my my my theories is that
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he didn't have the product that was going to walk people into the stores.
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Right. JC Penney, what do you know about it?
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If you don't know anything about it. But it was like, what is the thing?
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You would go to an Apple store because you want an iPhone,
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you want an iPad or whatever it was.
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He didn't have that thing, that compelling thing to get you to walk in the front door.
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So that was one of the things that I think was one of the things he was just
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screwed right out of the gate was he didn't have that compelling reason.
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Because then I think you can you could say that that's the Apple retail store is
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all starts from that foundation of here's what we have these great products
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that we're very proud of and that people want and we'll build everything else
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around that. Yeah. I mean, if you go into an Apple store there, famously,
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this is well known as a built after museums. Right.
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I've talked I think I talked about this at the last old
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They're built after museums. They're big, huge, wide open spaces.
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Butcher block table.
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Everything is about being honoring the product, right?
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And walking in there.
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It's just museum to the art that they're building out there.
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And it's like, how do you do that when you don't actually have that product?
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You got to like, chill off, right?
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And that's that's it seems like one of the things he was struggling with.
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Target is is sort of the opposite direction, I think,
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because Target's like the sort of store where you go to buy everything. Right.
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Target you buy everything from paper towels to a new basketball.
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I mean, they even sell groceries and stuff there now.
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And so it's sort of the opposite problem.
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They don't really have to focus on anything.
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But I feel like a JC Penney's where they really close for the most part.
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But they don't have any unique thing.
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You get the same pair of Levi's there you could get at the other one.
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Yeah. But whatever he was doing, I mean, do you think you had a you think they gave
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him enough time? No, I don't.
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I feel like what happened, the really weird thing,
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and they weren't doing well, it is true.
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I mean, and I guess, you know,
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eventually you've got to pull the plug on a CEO change.
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But I think the thing that's so bizarre
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is that they fired him and replaced him
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with the guy who was there before.
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So like, you know, effectively they're bored.
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It wasn't just,
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all right, we'll hire you.
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When they hired him two years ago,
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we're going to try something new.
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We're going to buy into your radical ideas
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to really change this company because we need change,
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because we're not doing that well.
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And then two years later, they're like,
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let's just go back to where we were.
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Which they know sucked.
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- Right, right, right.
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The existing state of sucked.
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- We like our old sucked better.
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(audience laughing)
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- Well, I mean, the stock was down like what,
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51% or something like that?
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I mean, so disaster, right?
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But still, it's like how long did it take Apple
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to get back to a happy state?
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It was, you know, he came back in '97,
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stock was still the same in 2002, right?
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So they gave him a long leash.
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Right, and that's a very good comparison.
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Like how long does it take to turn around a big company that's gotten itself in a
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deep rut? And Apple is a great example.
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So two years after Steve Jobs came back, it was ninety nine.
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Right. So they're still two years away from the iPod.
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I mean, effectively we were just selling Macs that were blue instead of beige.
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Right. I mean, and, you know, Mac OS X was still two years out.
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It was in the works, but, you know.
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It's not the branding campaign, the think different thing was going.
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He was setting it up.
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But I mean, this is something that was amazing to me about Apple is you go and
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like, I linked, I wrote about this a while ago.
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This is a '97 video.
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Remember that he does Q&A after one of the events?
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Steve was doing Q&A after one of the events.
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And he sits down and he answers questions and they're hostile.
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The audience is hostile because he's just killed OpenDoc and
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he's just, it's been a bloodbath.
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So he's up there, ask me whatever you want.
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And he sits there and he spends, just total ad hoc,
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spends an hour and a half answering questions.
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And if you go from now and you look at that talk,
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you know all of the things he was thinking about.
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He's like, yeah, it's going to be networked.
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It's going to be something like a cloud or this sort of thing.
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He was really sketching it out and then did it
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for the next 10 years.
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But it really took that long to get there.
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Yeah, it's an amazing talk because in hindsight,
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you're like, I can't believe he's talking about this in 1997
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because he's describing the iPad and iCloud of today.
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But it really took that long to get there.
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And I know that JC Penney is not exactly
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an apples to oranges comparison with Apple computer, right?
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But obviously it's a very different business.
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But I still think, though, that a lot of those things that take so long,
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it takes long in any case.
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And brand awareness is definitely one of them.
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And that's the thing that JC Penney was fighting,
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was this idea that it was nobody's favorite store.
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And to change that, I think two years is not enough time.
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- Yeah, I totally agree with that.
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And I think that's what you were saying,
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but they were, I mean, again, someone got,
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to me, putting back the old CEO in,
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is there's a political battle that someone won.
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They're like, "Hey, bring Frank back,"
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'cause the old suck was so much better.
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- It makes me think, I mean, again, I have no idea.
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It could be totally wrong, but it makes me think
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that there was somebody who never
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wanted Ron Johnson there in the first place.
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- So here's a question I've gotten
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from a surprising number of readers by email,
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and I don't know how to answer it
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because I'm not in that game.
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But you might have an insight.
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Do you think there's any chance now
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that Ron Johnson would go back to Apple?
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Apple actually doesn't have a retail chief right now.
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- I have no insider knowledge, but it makes total sense.
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Again, the exit seemed like it was clean.
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It didn't seem like there was any sort of battle
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or any sort of forestalling.
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(audience laughing)
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But it seemed like it was clean.
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So given that the other guy had flamed out,
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it seems like it wouldn't surprise me.
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Right, and I do think in general it is unusual for someone like once you go
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to CEO, once your title is CEO it's pretty rare that you're ever going to get
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another title other than maybe chairman or president or something, you know, a bit of...
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you don't go back to being senior VP
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except Apple's sort of a weird company where I feel like Apple, and they've been so
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successful that Apple senior vice presidents are sort of on par with CEOs
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at other companies.
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It wouldn't surprise me, but again it's like what is, why did he leave in the
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first place? What's the big challenge to Apple retail right now? I mean, it's everywhere.
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Right. And they have like a sort of formula, you know?
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Yeah, they do, right. So what is that next thing that you're going to go and do? Is that
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Let me take a break. I want to thank the first of our sponsors. And that is amazing. I honestly
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did not know this before we set up this talk, but it's our friends at Panic.
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We've got Neven Murgen here and their new app, Status Board.
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Now I showed you this, and this is the truth, you guys could think I'm full of it or not,
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but I showed this to you before I knew that they were sponsoring the show, and you almost
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shit your pants.
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Well, at first I said, "Oh, they did Dashboard, that's so cool."
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Yeah, I mean, but that's sort of what it is.
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knows, a long time ago, Panic published a blog post where they showed their little internal
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in their office the status board and it showed like bug counts or like unread messages in
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the support queue. Or project state. Right. Really cool and of course it's Panic so it
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was beautiful. And everybody loved it. Well then they had the brilliant idea of saying
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hey we made this thing, everybody loves it, let's make it a product. And they did and
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it's this great new iPad app that lets you make your own status boards. And it's sort
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of like Lego-like widgets where you can just pick these precise things like one of them
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you can hook up to an email account or one of them you can hook up to a Twitter feed
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and you have Twitter come in. You can get obvious stuff like weather, stuff like that.
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And it's extensible. They've got – if you're a nerd, if you want to nerd out, you can hook
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it up to any – almost any arbitrary thing that could be graphed or staticized with a
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little bit of coding and work. But the preset stuff alone is great.
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- Right, stunning.
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I have a question for you on that.
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So we've talked about the eye, right?
00:14:08
◼
►
Does the product have sort of the,
00:14:10
◼
►
do you have the eye to actually be able to identify
00:14:12
◼
►
a beautiful product?
00:14:13
◼
►
And outside of Apple, which companies do you think
00:14:17
◼
►
have the ability to build Apple quality products?
00:14:20
◼
►
Obviously, Panic is one of those,
00:14:22
◼
►
but what are the other ones that you think are like,
00:14:23
◼
►
you're like, whoa, it's almost like--
00:14:25
◼
►
- Well, let me finish the sponsorship.
00:14:26
◼
►
- Oh, sorry, go, keep going.
00:14:27
◼
►
(audience laughing)
00:14:29
◼
►
It's a great sponsorship.
00:14:32
◼
►
No, it's super simple. I'm almost done.
00:14:35
◼
►
But the drag and drop stuff that you can do that's preset is fantastic.
00:14:38
◼
►
The stuff you can customize makes it amazing.
00:14:41
◼
►
And it runs on the iPad and it looks great and maybe that's what you want to do
00:14:44
◼
►
is set it up on an iPad and run it, but it also does AirPlay video out.
00:14:48
◼
►
So you... That's not a TV. I thought that was a TV.
00:14:51
◼
►
Well, that's a TV.
00:14:53
◼
►
You can hook it up to a giant 60-foot plasma thing in your office or your home
00:14:57
◼
►
or whatever and have, you know, a totally cool, absolutely panic-style thing.
00:15:03
◼
►
- In the App Store, you go to find out more
00:15:05
◼
►
at their website, panic.com/statusboard.
00:15:09
◼
►
I'll bet if you just go to panic.com on the homepage,
00:15:11
◼
►
there's a big--
00:15:12
◼
►
- I guess so.
00:15:13
◼
►
- Probably really cool animation too.
00:15:15
◼
►
This guy's make me sick.
00:15:17
◼
►
It's 10 bucks in the App Store
00:15:19
◼
►
and it is an amazing, amazing deal, I think.
00:15:21
◼
►
And a great app.
00:15:23
◼
►
Who else has that eye?
00:15:25
◼
►
- Lauren Brikter.
00:15:26
◼
►
- Yeah, Lauren Brikter definitely has the eye.
00:15:28
◼
►
That's the guy who letter pressed and pulled a refresh.
00:15:31
◼
►
Who else though?
00:15:33
◼
►
No pressure.
00:15:34
◼
►
- Are you hiring?
00:15:35
◼
►
(audience laughs)
00:15:36
◼
►
- Is there anyone here?
00:15:37
◼
►
- I always worry that he's building a team.
00:15:39
◼
►
- I don't know.
00:15:40
◼
►
- You know, how about the Tapbot guys?
00:15:47
◼
►
- Oh, Tapbot, definitely.
00:15:48
◼
►
- Right, and theirs is obviously
00:15:50
◼
►
super strongly opinionated, you know?
00:15:52
◼
►
- Right, right, right.
00:15:55
◼
►
- But they know, like they have their aesthetic
00:15:57
◼
►
in their head and they know,
00:15:59
◼
►
they know when they've got it.
00:16:00
◼
►
Right, right.
00:16:04
◼
►
It's a short list though.
00:16:05
◼
►
I don't know.
00:16:05
◼
►
You're just putting me on the spot here.
00:16:07
◼
►
Twitteriffic.
00:16:08
◼
►
Twitteriffic, that's a good one.
00:16:11
◼
►
Iconfactory.
00:16:12
◼
►
Iconfactory, also solid.
00:16:15
◼
►
Craig Hockenberry.
00:16:16
◼
►
Yeah, just throw names out.
00:16:19
◼
►
Ooh, see, I would say OmniGroup makes great software.
00:16:23
◼
►
No, OmniGroup makes great software,
00:16:24
◼
►
but I don't look at it like-- when we talk about the eye,
00:16:27
◼
►
it's a certain look of it.
00:16:29
◼
►
And to me, OmniGroup software does not jump out in that way.
00:16:32
◼
►
It's great software, but does it have that final degree
00:16:36
◼
►
You know the Panic Eyes.
00:16:37
◼
►
It's like, his cable's like-- he's just sitting there working
00:16:41
◼
►
on that one round corner for like a weekend,
00:16:44
◼
►
just to get it just right.
00:16:46
◼
►
Briktor, yes.
00:16:47
◼
►
Letterpress.
00:16:52
◼
►
Sofa is a good example, and I think that's exactly--
00:16:55
◼
►
and this is this lingo that Michael and I use,
00:16:58
◼
►
talking about the eye and SOFA is a great example where they had Kaleidoscope and then
00:17:04
◼
►
what else did SOFA have?
00:17:05
◼
►
Versions, right?
00:17:06
◼
►
The version control app.
00:17:08
◼
►
And that is, that's super, that's actually a super panicky thing to do because Panic,
00:17:13
◼
►
even though they make these friendly, very, very attractive apps, some of them are super
00:17:19
◼
►
nerdy like FTP apps, right?
00:17:21
◼
►
I mean, they've been working on FTP apps since like 1997.
00:17:24
◼
►
Super nerdy thing.
00:17:25
◼
►
File transfer to Unix servers, right?
00:17:27
◼
►
and they, let's do it really, really pretty.
00:17:30
◼
►
Versions is a great example of that sort of thing.
00:17:32
◼
►
Let's take one of the nerdiest technologies in the world,
00:17:35
◼
►
version control, and let's make it really look good.
00:17:38
◼
►
And you look at other GUI version control apps.
00:17:42
◼
►
I mean, I'm not saying they're bad,
00:17:43
◼
►
but they look like command line app brought to life.
00:17:49
◼
►
- Tower is a great app.
00:17:51
◼
►
That's another one that is the same sort of approach.
00:17:56
◼
►
But the Sofa guys are interesting,
00:17:57
◼
►
What struck me was, and I think they're still on the hunt,
00:18:00
◼
►
but the guys who've, the acquisitions that Facebook has made
00:18:04
◼
►
over the last two years or so have largely been specifically
00:18:09
◼
►
about what you and I call the eye.
00:18:11
◼
►
Mike Madison, the push-pop press guys
00:18:14
◼
►
and the Al Gore book they made is exactly like that.
00:18:16
◼
►
And you can tell that they had a lot to do
00:18:19
◼
►
with the Facebook home thing,
00:18:20
◼
►
'cause Mike Madison's thing is this aversion to buttons.
00:18:24
◼
►
He really wants, he really thinks
00:18:26
◼
►
the whole touchscreen thing, it should have as few buttons as possible.
00:18:30
◼
►
And so the Facebook home thing doesn't have any buttons.
00:18:33
◼
►
Like it's actually in or out, you think about it, you're like, no, of course not.
00:18:36
◼
►
No, it doesn't.
00:18:37
◼
►
You just drag your little avatar around.
00:18:38
◼
►
I mean, maybe that counts as a button.
00:18:41
◼
►
I haven't used it yet.
00:18:42
◼
►
I haven't seen it yet.
00:18:43
◼
►
But you don't just tap it.
00:18:44
◼
►
Everything is motion.
00:18:46
◼
►
Haven't heard of them.
00:18:47
◼
►
I haven't heard of them.
00:18:48
◼
►
Double twist.
00:18:49
◼
►
Double twist?
00:18:51
◼
►
I haven't heard of it.
00:18:52
◼
►
Double twist?
00:18:56
◼
►
No, I wouldn't know.
00:18:58
◼
►
It's a short list.
00:19:00
◼
►
It's a short list.
00:19:01
◼
►
Yeah, I don't know.
00:19:06
◼
►
Oh, yeah, Will Shipley.
00:19:10
◼
►
I hate to say it.
00:19:12
◼
►
I hate to say it.
00:19:13
◼
►
I hate to give him the credit, but yeah, yeah.
00:19:15
◼
►
Yeah, definitely.
00:19:17
◼
►
Yeah, he's good.
00:19:18
◼
►
And the character.
00:19:19
◼
►
And I actually feel, and I don't know,
00:19:21
◼
►
this is not gossip or stuff,
00:19:24
◼
►
but I do think that that was sort of part of it
00:19:28
◼
►
is that Will Shipley is, you know.
00:19:29
◼
►
- Will Shipley. - Yeah.
00:19:30
◼
►
But I actually think that that was sort of
00:19:34
◼
►
some of the stress inside the Omni Group when he was there,
00:19:36
◼
►
'cause he was a co-founder and he was there for a long time.
00:19:39
◼
►
But I feel like he wanted to go
00:19:42
◼
►
in this delicious direction visually,
00:19:44
◼
►
this exuberant visual design.
00:19:47
◼
►
- Right, right, right.
00:19:47
◼
►
And it didn't really fit with the rest of the way the Omni Group wanted to make stuff,
00:19:52
◼
►
which was a little bit more straightforward.
00:19:55
◼
►
I don't know, exuberant is the word that comes to mind.
00:19:57
◼
►
Yeah, absolutely.
00:19:58
◼
►
So back to Apple, let's go back to Apple.
00:20:03
◼
►
Here's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.
00:20:05
◼
►
So there have been no product releases from Apple this year, right?
00:20:10
◼
►
Yeah, this is the one that...
00:20:13
◼
►
What is the...
00:20:14
◼
►
Actually, there's two things that worry me.
00:20:15
◼
►
There's the fact that it's April 14th
00:20:17
◼
►
and nothing has come out that we're sitting here
00:20:18
◼
►
and gossiping up about at Ool.
00:20:21
◼
►
But the other one that worries me
00:20:22
◼
►
is the Buzz Machine about the next thing,
00:20:24
◼
►
whatever that might be.
00:20:26
◼
►
We're not talking about either.
00:20:27
◼
►
I mean, there's the watch, but everyone kind of goes,
00:20:28
◼
►
"Watch, okay, maybe."
00:20:31
◼
►
But it's like, to me, there's this dearth
00:20:33
◼
►
of like gossip going on right now that worries me.
00:20:36
◼
►
What do you think?
00:20:37
◼
►
- I don't know.
00:20:39
◼
►
I think it's definitely curious.
00:20:42
◼
►
I think part of it is
00:20:44
◼
►
They really do, like they generally, I think, want to have stuff on a somewhat annual schedule.
00:20:51
◼
►
And they like having a new version of the iPhone every year.
00:20:55
◼
►
iPad last three years every March, is that right?
00:20:59
◼
►
Last two years?
00:21:01
◼
►
I think the first one, the original event was at the end of February, but it didn't
00:21:04
◼
►
come out to the first week of April.
00:21:05
◼
►
Three years in a row.
00:21:06
◼
►
Roughly March.
00:21:07
◼
►
Crickets right now.
00:21:10
◼
►
But what they did last year was they had this weird one where they did one six months after
00:21:14
◼
►
the previous one. Right. And I do feel that at a certain level that it's just as simple
00:21:19
◼
►
as well in general, we'd like it to be annual. But when we're ready, we're ready, you know,
00:21:24
◼
►
and if the one phone took 18 months and threw them off this June schedule, well, so be it,
00:21:29
◼
►
we're going to wait till we get it right. And if they also could do a new generation
00:21:34
◼
►
iPad just six months later after the other one, well, they're not going to wait. Why
00:21:39
◼
►
because their competitors aren't going to wait.
00:21:43
◼
►
But in hindsight, as we keep going
00:21:45
◼
►
and there's been no new iPad in March,
00:21:48
◼
►
it makes me think that one of the reasons they put that iPad
00:21:52
◼
►
with the new dock connector out last year
00:21:54
◼
►
was that they knew it was going to be on the market longer.
00:21:58
◼
►
Yeah, I don't know.
00:22:00
◼
►
It's curious to me.
00:22:02
◼
►
The other worry that I have is I think the thing that they have
00:22:05
◼
►
to prove to the entire planet is they
00:22:07
◼
►
They have to be able to do that new thing without Steve.
00:22:10
◼
►
And it has to be, everything that's come out
00:22:13
◼
►
has been derivative of an existing thing,
00:22:15
◼
►
whether it's the mini, or whether it's this,
00:22:16
◼
►
or whether it's that, it all is,
00:22:18
◼
►
it clearly came from a game plan that was already set.
00:22:20
◼
►
That first new leg on the stool,
00:22:23
◼
►
that's the one everyone's gonna be like, okay, whew.
00:22:25
◼
►
Right, but until you see that, everyone's kinda like,
00:22:28
◼
►
we're gonna make this, is this gonna work?
00:22:29
◼
►
Are we gonna be able to pull this off?
00:22:31
◼
►
- I do think it's a coincidence.
00:22:32
◼
►
I just think it's coincidental timing.
00:22:34
◼
►
But I think it's very bad timing for Apple
00:22:36
◼
►
that they've hit this, I'm not even gonna say dry patch,
00:22:40
◼
►
but maybe just a part where nothing's ready yet
00:22:43
◼
►
at a time where perception wise out in the world,
00:22:47
◼
►
there is an awful lot of see,
00:22:48
◼
►
they can't do it without Steve Jobs out there.
00:22:51
◼
►
- You think it's a coincidence?
00:22:52
◼
►
- I do think it's a coincidence,
00:22:54
◼
►
but I think it's really an unfortunate one
00:22:55
◼
►
'cause I feel like now is when they really,
00:22:57
◼
►
like a killer new product a week ago,
00:23:01
◼
►
like early April or at the end of March
00:23:02
◼
►
would have been just what the doctor ordered
00:23:05
◼
►
for the company.
00:23:06
◼
►
- Completely agree.
00:23:07
◼
►
- Do you think we will, here's a question.
00:23:10
◼
►
Do you think now though that we've gotten through April
00:23:12
◼
►
and it doesn't look like anything's coming in April
00:23:15
◼
►
and who knows, maybe I've got an email saying
00:23:16
◼
►
come to California next week.
00:23:18
◼
►
I don't think so, but where's Jim?
00:23:20
◼
►
Jim would know.
00:23:23
◼
►
- Okay, upstairs.
00:23:25
◼
►
- Yeah, probably talking to Apple.
00:23:28
◼
►
Do you think now that we've gotten through
00:23:32
◼
►
and clearly the iPad, there's no new iPad coming out
00:23:34
◼
►
the schedule the last few years, would they sneak it in in May before WWDC or is it like,
00:23:41
◼
►
if not now, wait for WWDC?
00:23:43
◼
►
Well, this is that Buzz machine that I was talking about because we all collectively
00:23:46
◼
►
have these long conversations.
00:23:48
◼
►
It somehow leaks.
00:23:49
◼
►
I don't know how it leaks.
00:23:50
◼
►
Maybe it's you, maybe it's other people, but like little bits of it, it's coming out and
00:23:54
◼
►
we start having these conversations.
00:23:56
◼
►
I've been in Dublin for three days now and I haven't had any conversation about like,
00:24:00
◼
►
"Hey, are you going to get the new blah, blah, blah?"
00:24:02
◼
►
So that pre-buzz generating thing, whether it's deliberate or not, doesn't currently
00:24:08
◼
►
So to me that means there's nothing imminent that's going to be there.
00:24:11
◼
►
And maybe they're just, maybe like he was talking out on whatever he was on, 60 Minutes,
00:24:15
◼
►
maybe he's really clamped down and really locked it down, which would be amazeballs.
00:24:20
◼
►
But I knew you were going to use that word.
00:24:25
◼
►
It's Michael's word of the week.
00:24:27
◼
►
That would be great.
00:24:28
◼
►
But you know, I mean bigger, who knows?
00:24:30
◼
►
That would be the first time, right?
00:24:31
◼
►
It'd be first everything else. There's it's nothing has been like an explicitly
00:24:34
◼
►
But it's just we sort of built together the picture over the like two months before it actually arrives
00:24:39
◼
►
We're like well, it could be a pad or I mean our tablet or this sort of thing well
00:24:42
◼
►
Then the and the tablets a good example be where
00:24:45
◼
►
Somehow it was I think it was it was the timing of it was that Steve Jobs was on a medical leave right absence
00:24:53
◼
►
right and came back in the summer and
00:24:58
◼
►
It just somehow everybody at Apple just sort of knew that Steve's back and what he's doing is the tablet right and he's committed to
00:25:05
◼
►
It and it was from summer until February and that's when they shipped it and it was the iPad
00:25:08
◼
►
So nobody knew exactly what it looked like there were no screenshots that leaked. I don't even think the hardware leaked for that one. I
00:25:15
◼
►
Yeah, nobody really knew so everybody, you know, is it gonna be is it gonna be this size?
00:25:20
◼
►
Is it gonna be this size is gonna be thick is it gonna be thin?
00:25:24
◼
►
No, I don't think okay
00:25:27
◼
►
(audience laughs)
00:25:30
◼
►
- Nobody really knew, so they did keep that under wraps,
00:25:32
◼
►
but the fact that they were working on a tablet was known.
00:25:35
◼
►
I mean, I would have bet everything on it.
00:25:37
◼
►
- Exactly, we had some approximation of what it might be,
00:25:40
◼
►
and right now we're talking about watches.
00:25:43
◼
►
- And I think I've given a lot of thought
00:25:46
◼
►
to the watch thing.
00:25:47
◼
►
I think the watch thing, I almost,
00:25:49
◼
►
I really think that it might just be like a joke.
00:25:53
◼
►
(audience laughs)
00:25:54
◼
►
Like somebody at Apple has obviously told a few reporters,
00:25:56
◼
►
Because Bloomberg or somebody was like,
00:25:59
◼
►
according to sources, close to the company.
00:26:01
◼
►
100, Johnny Ives, 100 engineers working on a watch.
00:26:05
◼
►
And it's like, 100 engineers on a watch, really?
00:26:09
◼
►
I really think it's maybe like a joke
00:26:12
◼
►
to get Samsung to make watches.
00:26:18
◼
►
They're like, Johnny Ives, they're like dying.
00:26:21
◼
►
- We got to get on it.
00:26:22
◼
►
We pink and black and white, let's get going.
00:26:24
◼
►
- Right, and then like, you know, like Tim Cook is like
00:26:27
◼
►
talking to Foxconn and they're like,
00:26:29
◼
►
well we've got this other factory over here
00:26:30
◼
►
and Samsung's using it to make watches
00:26:31
◼
►
and Tim Cook's like.
00:26:32
◼
►
(audience laughing)
00:26:37
◼
►
- And then, you know, they're like, all right, all right,
00:26:40
◼
►
call Bloomberg up, tell him it's got to be really big.
00:26:43
◼
►
(audience laughing)
00:26:45
◼
►
Heavy. - Yeah, exactly.
00:26:47
◼
►
- Really heavy. - Lot of weight to it.
00:26:51
◼
►
- I kind of think with the watch thing.
00:26:53
◼
►
- It's the greatest prank ever, right.
00:26:56
◼
►
- And when the stories came out there,
00:26:57
◼
►
everybody was talking about it,
00:26:58
◼
►
and then hacker news is, you know,
00:27:00
◼
►
iWatch and it's a tech meme and top story is out,
00:27:02
◼
►
blah, blah, blah, watches.
00:27:03
◼
►
And then, you know, it really were a story.
00:27:05
◼
►
I'm not even making it up where it was like,
00:27:07
◼
►
someone in Google was like,
00:27:07
◼
►
"Well, we're working on watches too."
00:27:10
◼
►
And they're very smart.
00:27:13
◼
►
And all of a sudden, everybody's talking about watches
00:27:15
◼
►
out of this rumor that Apple is doing.
00:27:17
◼
►
I really don't think it's a thing.
00:27:18
◼
►
- How many people are wearing a watch right now?
00:27:23
◼
►
Can I tell you what I think the single biggest problem with the whole idea of Apple doing
00:27:29
◼
►
When you go into a real watch store, there are one side men's watches, other side ladies'
00:27:38
◼
►
And there's a reason for that.
00:27:40
◼
►
What is Apple going to do?
00:27:41
◼
►
You don't go in and buy ladies' iPods and men's iPads.
00:27:44
◼
►
They make products that appeal to everybody.
00:27:48
◼
►
And I don't see how you do that with a watch.
00:27:51
◼
►
You've made this argument with me before. I don't think this holds water because they are really good at building fashion items.
00:27:57
◼
►
And I think they, of any company, could build something which would be, had universal appeal to either gender.
00:28:03
◼
►
Maybe I'm just, I lack the imagination to imagine a universal watch.
00:28:07
◼
►
But you agree though that they'd only do one.
00:28:09
◼
►
Oh yeah. Have they ever not done that?
00:28:13
◼
►
The other thing, I think I've said this before, but my other theory on it is that it's just the new, this year's iPod Nano.
00:28:19
◼
►
And maybe it comes with a wrist strap.
00:28:22
◼
►
Yeah, could be.
00:28:25
◼
►
The other big problem I see with it is the display technology.
00:28:29
◼
►
Because I do wear a watch, but that's because I want to glance at my wrist and I want to
00:28:32
◼
►
see the time immediately.
00:28:34
◼
►
And I do not want to have to turn it on.
00:28:35
◼
►
So the way that people wear the old iPod Nano as a watch, kind of cool, looks cool, would
00:28:40
◼
►
drive me nuts though.
00:28:41
◼
►
You got to hit a button to turn it on.
00:28:45
◼
►
But like a bright colorful LCD screen will suck the battery right, you can't leave it
00:28:49
◼
►
are using E ink and I got one of those, you can't read it.
00:28:52
◼
►
It's like, you know, it's kind of horrible.
00:28:55
◼
►
- I just don't understand the use case.
00:28:56
◼
►
That's the thing is, it's like it's attached to my phone,
00:28:58
◼
►
I've got two things and what's going on there.
00:29:00
◼
►
I can see some interesting things being on the screen,
00:29:02
◼
►
but it seems like more complexity rather than less
00:29:05
◼
►
than any scenario that I imagine, and that's bad.
00:29:07
◼
►
It should be simple.
00:29:09
◼
►
There should be some simple use case
00:29:10
◼
►
that I haven't yet imagined.
00:29:12
◼
►
- Right, I'm imagining that if there really is smoke
00:29:14
◼
►
to this fire, it may well be a thing you put on your wrist,
00:29:18
◼
►
but it's not a watch.
00:29:20
◼
►
Stop thinking of it as a watch in terms of what we think
00:29:22
◼
►
of as watches.
00:29:24
◼
►
And there's tons of opportunity.
00:29:26
◼
►
It would be awesome if you could run apps and stuff like that.
00:29:29
◼
►
Panic status watch.
00:29:31
◼
►
That'd be awesome.
00:29:32
◼
►
How many mails do I have?
00:29:33
◼
►
There's another one.
00:29:40
◼
►
Just thinking about the no releases.
00:29:42
◼
►
So what's the product that they've had the longest
00:29:45
◼
►
run without a release on?
00:29:47
◼
►
Mac Pro. Exactly, see this is our audience, right?
00:29:52
◼
►
Right, these are guys who are running Xcode and... Right, right, right. Have like seventeen displays.
00:29:56
◼
►
Right, and it actually matters. So it's been...
00:29:59
◼
►
Do you know, I looked it up before the show started, the last Mac Pro was
00:30:06
◼
►
two thousand one.
00:30:08
◼
►
It's been twelve years,
00:30:10
◼
►
give or take. No. Really?
00:30:14
◼
►
- That's not right.
00:30:15
◼
►
- When was it?
00:30:16
◼
►
I think it was 2009, 2008.
00:30:18
◼
►
And they had like a upgrade last year.
00:30:21
◼
►
It was like--
00:30:23
◼
►
- But it's still the same ID, it's still the cheese grater,
00:30:25
◼
►
it's still huge and so much metal.
00:30:27
◼
►
You look at it now after you're looking at the iMac
00:30:28
◼
►
and you're like, that is just a waste.
00:30:30
◼
►
But there's people love it.
00:30:31
◼
►
There's people that really get,
00:30:33
◼
►
they like the expandability.
00:30:34
◼
►
- Yeah, but there's people who I remember,
00:30:36
◼
►
and this is, you know, like, when I really get in touch
00:30:38
◼
►
with the demand for the Mac Pro
00:30:41
◼
►
is when I'm hanging out with developers
00:30:43
◼
►
place like this because developers truly truly want like like if they let's say they came out with the top of the line Intel
00:30:50
◼
►
Best chips Intel has best fastest thing they could make tomorrow
00:30:54
◼
►
It's not really even fast enough for these guys it really adds the truth about writing code and doing certain really
00:31:00
◼
►
you know Photoshop and stuff like that I
00:31:02
◼
►
Remember at WWDC last year people coming up to me, and they'd be like hey John nice to meet everybody
00:31:08
◼
►
Hey, what are they gonna do a Mac Pro?
00:31:12
◼
►
Do you think it's I know that man you can't even buy one in certain countries in Europe anymore
00:31:18
◼
►
Right because that you guys are filming out. There's like a new law that passed about what is it?
00:31:24
◼
►
the fans or something
00:31:26
◼
►
Are you lying?
00:31:29
◼
►
Right, but it's so old that it's no longer compliant with the laws for making computers and the EU
00:31:41
◼
►
- So they banned it.
00:31:42
◼
►
- Yes, when they just don't sell them here.
00:31:44
◼
►
Do you think it's--
00:31:46
◼
►
- I think it's, the thing I think about is,
00:31:48
◼
►
they're so into what they've learned with the iPhone
00:31:51
◼
►
and the iPad, and you can even see it on the iMac,
00:31:53
◼
►
and the Air, it's like, simplicity.
00:31:54
◼
►
You don't want to have to configure it,
00:31:56
◼
►
and this is sort of the antithesis of what nerds like,
00:31:58
◼
►
is I wanna fuck with it a little bit, right?
00:32:00
◼
►
And that, but that world is something
00:32:02
◼
►
that they're not modeling for.
00:32:04
◼
►
They model for that world, but it's like,
00:32:05
◼
►
here's everything that you need.
00:32:06
◼
►
It's perfect, right?
00:32:08
◼
►
Just go with it.
00:32:09
◼
►
So I'm sure that there's a lot of people
00:32:10
◼
►
that would be very cranky about that.
00:32:11
◼
►
I used to run part of the Mac OS X server team,
00:32:13
◼
►
so we love to tinker with stuff,
00:32:15
◼
►
but it's not, and this worries people,
00:32:17
◼
►
is it's not, there's not as much tinkering that can go on,
00:32:20
◼
►
and they seem to be moving away from that
00:32:22
◼
►
in terms of the hardware.
00:32:23
◼
►
- And I think it really shows how,
00:32:25
◼
►
even though Apple, by market cap,
00:32:27
◼
►
is the biggest company in the world,
00:32:28
◼
►
or second biggest or whatever,
00:32:29
◼
►
and doing really well, and has an incredible head count,
00:32:32
◼
►
even if you subtract all of the retail people,
00:32:34
◼
►
big, big company, it's gotten big,
00:32:37
◼
►
But they're not run like most big companies where there's these little
00:32:42
◼
►
divisions within the company and because any other company or the way people would
00:32:46
◼
►
think Apple would be run, there'd be somebody who runs the Mac Pro division.
00:32:50
◼
►
And the Mac Pro division would only make Mac Pros.
00:32:52
◼
►
And so they're going to keep coming out with them on a regular basis because that's
00:32:56
◼
►
the whole you know, if they don't, they're going to lose their jobs.
00:32:59
◼
►
And there isn't anybody like that at Apple.
00:33:01
◼
►
And it's like they've only got so much
00:33:03
◼
►
attention and their attention is clearly not on the Mac Pro.
00:33:07
◼
►
And I mean, there's demand out there,
00:33:08
◼
►
but I don't think it's-- how many would buy a new back
00:33:11
◼
►
pro right now?
00:33:13
◼
►
That's less than the watch.
00:33:14
◼
►
Yeah, not as many hands as I thought.
00:33:15
◼
►
Less than the watch.
00:33:19
◼
►
Let me just-- I'll take the break right now.
00:33:28
◼
►
Let me thank our second sponsor for the show.
00:33:29
◼
►
And our second sponsor is Squarespace.
00:33:32
◼
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Squarespace is a longtime sponsor of the talk show.
00:33:35
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fabulous, fabulous service where you sign up
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and they do everything to give you a website.
00:33:41
◼
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They do domain name registration.
00:33:44
◼
►
They have, you can set up a blog, you can set up shopping.
00:33:48
◼
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That's the big new thing they have this year
00:33:50
◼
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is they do your own shopping right there on your website.
00:33:54
◼
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Drag and drop, you set the prices, they do the commerce,
00:33:57
◼
►
you don't have to write all the code.
00:33:59
◼
►
Who here has written code to do credit card processing?
00:34:02
◼
►
Who here wants-- - Wow.
00:34:03
◼
►
Who here would ever want to write code
00:34:05
◼
►
to do credit card processing?
00:34:07
◼
►
It's the worst.
00:34:08
◼
►
There's two over here.
00:34:11
◼
►
Paul and Andy.
00:34:13
◼
►
It's the worst job in the world.
00:34:15
◼
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Squarespace does it for you.
00:34:18
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They do all the compliance with all the crazy laws
00:34:21
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that you have to do when you're dealing with credit cards.
00:34:23
◼
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And it really just couldn't be easier.
00:34:25
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And the other thing they have is a huge selection
00:34:27
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of great templates that you can choose from
00:34:30
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to set the look of your site.
00:34:34
◼
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It is so much easier to get started
00:34:36
◼
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with a good looking website today than when me and you were
00:34:39
◼
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installing Perl scripts and removable type in 2002.
00:34:43
◼
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Those are good times.
00:34:44
◼
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And you can customize it all, too.
00:34:46
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So if you don't know code, you can set it all up just
00:34:48
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by clicking and looking and figuring it out.
00:34:50
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And you can just look at it visually.
00:34:52
◼
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And if you do know code, you can customize everything.
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So my thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring the show.
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Find out more.
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They have a special URL so that you
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know that you're coming from the show, which is squarespace.com/the-talk-show-four.
00:35:07
◼
►
The talk show four. Yeah, because it's like the fourth time they've...
00:35:10
◼
►
I've got it.
00:35:11
◼
►
The URL is just the talk show. It's the on the website on the...
00:35:15
◼
►
Lex Friedman has corrected it.
00:35:17
◼
►
In the front row.
00:35:18
◼
►
The URL is the talk show.
00:35:20
◼
►
And the coupon code is the talk show four.
00:35:22
◼
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Is there a slash between talk show and four?
00:35:25
◼
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Just try-- Squarespace itself is so much easier than this deal.
00:35:31
◼
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So don't take this as any kind of sign
00:35:35
◼
►
that this is what Squarespace is like.
00:35:37
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Go to squarespace.com/thetalkshow.
00:35:40
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And then when you sign up, they'll say, hey,
00:35:42
◼
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do you want a coupon code?
00:35:43
◼
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And they're going to save you a lot of money.
00:35:45
◼
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You type in the talk show for.
00:35:48
◼
►
All right, Lex has signed off on this.
00:35:49
◼
►
All right, very good.
00:35:55
◼
►
I don't have anything more on Apple.
00:35:57
◼
►
I'm out. I'm actually done.
00:35:59
◼
►
This is the last show.
00:36:01
◼
►
And I'm out.
00:36:07
◼
►
And we're talking. I don't even think I've introduced this.
00:36:10
◼
►
Everybody at home knows we're the...
00:36:12
◼
►
Why is there an audience here?
00:36:13
◼
►
We're here at the OOL conference in Dublin, Ireland.
00:36:16
◼
►
OOL with the accent to the right.
00:36:18
◼
►
You have to hold down the 3 key on the keyboard to get that.
00:36:21
◼
►
It's very confusing.
00:36:22
◼
►
It's Sunday.
00:36:23
◼
►
Yeah, no, you know, you can just hold down the you now.
00:36:25
◼
►
Oh, so you I'm sorry.
00:36:27
◼
►
Yeah, not the three, right?
00:36:28
◼
►
But they have the new thing and the Mac is like the iPod where you can
00:36:31
◼
►
You're like, I'm going to
00:36:40
◼
►
did you did totally side topic.
00:36:46
◼
►
Did you memorize a bunch of keystrokes for some of the weird characters?
00:36:49
◼
►
I still have I'm going to date myself here.
00:36:52
◼
►
I still remember all the WordPress, not WordPress, that's not--
00:36:54
◼
►
- WordPerfect. - WordPerfect.
00:36:56
◼
►
- I knew what you were going for.
00:36:57
◼
►
- I can still do that.
00:36:57
◼
►
I can like boom, boom, boom, I can still imagine that.
00:36:59
◼
►
That's how it's ingrained in my head.
00:37:01
◼
►
- The ones that I have are the ones for curly quotes,
00:37:05
◼
►
apostrophes, and quotes because,
00:37:07
◼
►
and it's not a hard programming challenge,
00:37:09
◼
►
but it took until the year 2000 for smart quotes
00:37:13
◼
►
to become usable in layout applications.
00:37:17
◼
►
So if you did any kind of graphic design,
00:37:19
◼
►
You never typed apostrophes and quotes.
00:37:22
◼
►
You did the shift command control bracket.
00:37:26
◼
►
I can see that giving you a lot of rage back then.
00:37:29
◼
►
And I used to do it in Twitter.
00:37:34
◼
►
Now, the iPhone makes it really easy.
00:37:36
◼
►
You just hold the key, and then you
00:37:37
◼
►
can slide over and get the curly quote.
00:37:39
◼
►
But I used to type curly apostrophes in my tweets
00:37:41
◼
►
by hand that way.
00:37:43
◼
►
And then Tweetbot added it as a feature,
00:37:44
◼
►
and it was like, oh my god, I can't
00:37:46
◼
►
believe I was such an asshole.
00:37:48
◼
►
It's so much nicer to just type instead of...
00:37:56
◼
►
We speak together at a couple conferences a year.
00:38:00
◼
►
I've never...yeah, you're my conference friend. That's the only time we see each other.
00:38:04
◼
►
Yeah, exactly. I've never actually been in the same, like, where your house is or my house is.
00:38:08
◼
►
And everybody, we've all been...
00:38:12
◼
►
I'm not telling you my address. I can get it, you know.
00:38:16
◼
►
you know. But everybody. I keep forgetting that you work there. That's the place that
00:38:27
◼
►
we won't mention. But all the speakers keep saying, emphasizing, my god, what,
00:38:35
◼
►
thank you to Paul and to Dermain. What a great conference. Amazing conference.
00:38:38
◼
►
But why though? I mean there is something going on here, like
00:38:42
◼
►
everybody just says it's great and we all seem to acknowledge it's great and
00:38:45
◼
►
and it really does seem like the attendees are happy.
00:38:49
◼
►
But what is it?
00:38:50
◼
►
I can't quite, I'm not quite sure I see
00:38:53
◼
►
what the special--
00:38:53
◼
►
- I think it has something to do with the eye
00:38:55
◼
►
that we were talking about earlier,
00:38:56
◼
►
which is that sort of, that attention to detail
00:38:59
◼
►
that they have about everything that they do, right?
00:39:01
◼
►
Is like, you know, you can sense by the typography
00:39:05
◼
►
that they care about what they're doing, right?
00:39:07
◼
►
It's not just thrown together, it's like,
00:39:09
◼
►
you've sat there and go like, oh, this is beautiful.
00:39:11
◼
►
I wanna touch this, I kinda wanna lick it a little bit.
00:39:14
◼
►
But it's that sort of thing, and it kind of just
00:39:17
◼
►
flows all together.
00:39:18
◼
►
So when you're looking up at-- I was commenting
00:39:21
◼
►
on the projector from the event.
00:39:23
◼
►
Beautiful 20 by 40 screen, is that right?
00:39:26
◼
►
And just like great-- it looks great.
00:39:29
◼
►
And it's that attention to detail that I think is one
00:39:33
◼
►
Oh, and the great speakers, too.
00:39:37
◼
►
But it's a lot--
00:39:41
◼
►
It's a little self-advocatizing.
00:39:44
◼
►
- Yeah, the speakers are great.
00:39:47
◼
►
- Great choices, fellas.
00:39:48
◼
►
- Another thing I thought,
00:39:51
◼
►
I was blown away by the year over year.
00:39:54
◼
►
I know I said this when I was on stage,
00:39:55
◼
►
but that last year was great.
00:39:57
◼
►
And if the fact that I came back is proof
00:40:00
◼
►
that I thought it was good and worth coming back to,
00:40:02
◼
►
but I really can't believe one year over another
00:40:05
◼
►
how much improved it was.
00:40:08
◼
►
Amazing conference.
00:40:09
◼
►
- And I do feel, I feel like it suited
00:40:11
◼
►
level of attention to detail is suited to the audience of people making apps for these
00:40:16
◼
►
obsessive compulsive pixel perfect designs.
00:40:20
◼
►
Well, of course, we're going to want to come to the conference where they sent a guy to
00:40:23
◼
►
Japan to find wood to make the logo for the bad.
00:40:30
◼
►
You go out, you leave here and everybody here is like, "Oh, yeah, yeah, great.
00:40:33
◼
►
That was really well done.
00:40:34
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These are nice badges."
00:40:35
◼
►
And then you go out in the real world and say, "I was at a conference and they sent
00:40:37
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►
a guy to Japan to find little chips of wood."
00:40:38
◼
►
They'd be like what kind of an asshole are you?
00:40:41
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►
And then you realize oh, yeah, I was it all and it seemed normal there
00:40:49
◼
►
It made sense at the time I guess
00:40:53
◼
►
When I guess your pants really far away from Ireland
00:40:57
◼
►
But the badges were so nice they're beautiful
00:41:02
◼
►
It was like it was it was sort of a sensory sort of experience you're opening it up and look at the pages and in
00:41:07
◼
►
the paper it's just nice and thick and it's gorgeous so attention to detail
00:41:11
◼
►
yeah absolutely and I also think it does seem you know it seems perfectly suited
00:41:17
◼
►
to this city like it's the right conference in the right city yeah you
00:41:21
◼
►
feel you feel a little bit of I mean I'm from the Silicon Valley you feel like
00:41:24
◼
►
you're hanging out with like the right nerds right it's like these are people
00:41:28
◼
►
who care about what they're doing they're building important things and
00:41:30
◼
►
you know I love being in Dublin because it feels very familiar to me so I
00:41:37
◼
►
I ran this by you yesterday, I hope you remember.
00:41:39
◼
►
- Uh oh, what time was it?
00:41:41
◼
►
You ran it by me?
00:41:43
◼
►
- But you and I, for years now, have pondered the idea
00:41:47
◼
►
of maybe jointly producing a conference ourselves.
00:41:49
◼
►
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we have.
00:41:51
◼
►
- And we've done a lot of talking.
00:41:52
◼
►
- Lot of drinking.
00:41:54
◼
►
- And it's, you know, there's no use keeping it a secret,
00:41:59
◼
►
'cause it's probably not gonna happen.
00:42:00
◼
►
- No, probably not.
00:42:01
◼
►
But it's a great idea.
00:42:06
◼
►
But one of the big ideas we've done a lot of drinking and talking over is where would
00:42:12
◼
►
And part of it really stems from South by Southwest, which is the first place where
00:42:16
◼
►
we really were going on a regular basis.
00:42:19
◼
►
Rest in peace, South by.
00:42:22
◼
►
Austin is great.
00:42:23
◼
►
Haven't been back in a few years.
00:42:24
◼
►
It's kind of blown up and over.
00:42:25
◼
►
But it used to be amazing.
00:42:27
◼
►
It used to be truly amazing.
00:42:30
◼
►
bigger than Ool, but in the early days, the web part of it was close in spirit, you know,
00:42:37
◼
►
and really the same sort of interactions and the same sort of friendships that are formed from it,
00:42:44
◼
►
you know, and the same type of speakers and the same sort of, I just saw somebody give a talk,
00:42:49
◼
►
and then right after that a talk that, oh my God, it was even better. But also part of what
00:42:56
◼
►
what made South by Southwest great was Austin.
00:42:58
◼
►
Austin was a great town.
00:43:01
◼
►
So we tossed that out.
00:43:02
◼
►
But the one idea we had, and it almost ties back
00:43:04
◼
►
to the Unprofessional show before,
00:43:06
◼
►
we thought about would we have a conference in Vegas?
00:43:09
◼
►
- And we've mentioned this to people,
00:43:13
◼
►
like we're thinking about doing a tech conference,
00:43:14
◼
►
might have it in Vegas, and then it's bifurcated, right?
00:43:19
◼
►
It's like we say, like hey, Michael and I were thinking
00:43:22
◼
►
maybe we would do a conference, and people are like,
00:43:24
◼
►
And we're like and in Vegas and then half the people are like where do I send my money and then the other half are
00:43:29
◼
►
Like that's the grossest thing I've ever
00:43:31
◼
►
Why would you do that?
00:43:34
◼
►
Do it anywhere else have it anywhere else in the world. Why would you want me to go there?
00:43:40
◼
►
It's a fake city right right. It's a fake city. That's the thing about it
00:43:44
◼
►
I think that people is first up
00:43:46
◼
►
It's really easy to get there anyone from in the states you can get there really easily
00:43:48
◼
►
But I think there's it's just it's built out of the middle of a desert
00:43:52
◼
►
And there's like you know some of our favorite places to speak are like just soaking in their culture in Vegas is a shithole, right?
00:43:59
◼
►
It's beautiful, and I love it there, but it's like you're like wow this person just threw up on my kids
00:44:04
◼
►
Well one of my favorite stories about Vegas, and it's a new thing is
00:44:13
◼
►
There's a new breed of
00:44:18
◼
►
I don't even want to call them panhandlers,
00:44:20
◼
►
but people trying to hustle money on the street.
00:44:22
◼
►
And the old one.
00:44:24
◼
►
No, no, no, no, no.
00:44:25
◼
►
Not those guys.
00:44:25
◼
►
No, but the old one was, and they're still there,
00:44:28
◼
►
is people who are wearing illegal, no copyright costumes,
00:44:33
◼
►
like a Mickey Mouse, but like this really gross looking Mickey
00:44:38
◼
►
Like really gross.
00:44:39
◼
►
Like clearly, obviously Disney is not
00:44:42
◼
►
selling the real Mickey Mouse costumes to people
00:44:44
◼
►
to dress up in.
00:44:45
◼
►
So it's like, but it's just like gross.
00:44:47
◼
►
and like the eyes are dead.
00:44:50
◼
►
And then you see someone letting their little sweet little
00:44:53
◼
►
three-year-old girl pose next to them.
00:44:55
◼
►
It's the same thing in Times Square in New York.
00:44:56
◼
►
They have these guys.
00:44:58
◼
►
And it's superheroes and Mickey Mouse and stuff like that.
00:45:01
◼
►
That's old, and they're still there.
00:45:03
◼
►
But the new one-- and this says everything
00:45:05
◼
►
there is to say about Vegas.
00:45:06
◼
►
The new one is, kick me in the nuts for $20.
00:45:14
◼
►
Look at the-- you can't see this on the radio
00:45:16
◼
►
or whatever we're listening to, there's shrugging going on.
00:45:18
◼
►
'Cause people are like, "Ooh, God, yeah,
00:45:19
◼
►
"I'm gonna do it."
00:45:20
◼
►
- I was there with my wife, and we saw the first guy
00:45:24
◼
►
with the sign, and he looked like a college kid, you know?
00:45:26
◼
►
And he didn't look, he did not look like homeless,
00:45:29
◼
►
he just looked like hipster.
00:45:30
◼
►
And he had a sign.
00:45:34
◼
►
- Had five bucks.
00:45:35
◼
►
- Kick me in the nuts, $20.
00:45:37
◼
►
And we thought, our first thought wasn't that it was legit,
00:45:41
◼
►
we thought maybe it was like a college fraternity
00:45:44
◼
►
hazing thing like, you've got to walk down the strip holding the sign that says you can
00:45:48
◼
►
kick me in the nuts for 20 bucks and deal with the people you got. And then you go like
00:45:51
◼
►
10 more feet and there's another guy and this guy's sign was kick me in the nuts, $20, no
00:45:56
◼
►
Did you do it?
00:46:05
◼
►
Did Amy do it? Because I can see that.
00:46:09
◼
►
No, because she wouldn't, she would never kick a stranger in the nuts. She would, she
00:46:12
◼
►
She has like a list of people.
00:46:16
◼
►
You're like, "I've got to get down this list first before I go for strangers."
00:46:21
◼
►
But the thing that really caught my mind about that was, what to me is more disturbing?
00:46:29
◼
►
The guy who's doing this 20 bucks at a pop, or the guy, and you know he's mostly guys,
00:46:35
◼
►
the guy who's going to say, "Yes, I'm going to pay you $20."
00:46:38
◼
►
Here's 200 bucks, and they do it 10 times.
00:46:41
◼
►
See if you're still standing there like what type
00:46:44
◼
►
What type of low-grade psychopath you have to be to want to kick a strange man in the nuts?
00:46:53
◼
►
For the women out there allow me to emphasize getting kicked in the nuts is horrifying
00:46:57
◼
►
It really is it is it is really it's really painful
00:47:02
◼
►
You got on I don't we were talking about the physics of it like how much where do you want the toe to go to?
00:47:07
◼
►
maximize the kick and like, and it's just, yeah, there's more.
00:47:10
◼
►
And so I understand like that to me.
00:47:13
◼
►
And that also to me emphasizes the gross out factor of, oh,
00:47:17
◼
►
it sounds like a cool conference, but it's in Las Vegas.
00:47:20
◼
►
But to me, the parts that are would be cool about it, maybe, maybe would be
00:47:26
◼
►
the fact that there's so much space, everything's big.
00:47:31
◼
►
So if everybody in the conference decides
00:47:34
◼
►
to go out and have a few beers afterwards.
00:47:36
◼
►
There's actually room for everybody.
00:47:37
◼
►
- Right, right, right.
00:47:39
◼
►
- You know, I mean, it's there, it's a party place.
00:47:41
◼
►
I always worry that we'd lose like three quarters
00:47:43
◼
►
of our people 'cause there's like this 20 bucks
00:47:45
◼
►
in the nuts guy and they're like,
00:47:47
◼
►
"Wait, Grover's speaking, but the guy not there is kidding."
00:47:49
◼
►
- Right, like how, however sparsely attended
00:47:52
◼
►
the morning sessions are usually--
00:47:54
◼
►
- Right, right, right, you'd have to start like at four.
00:47:58
◼
►
- Right, like we're gonna wrap up Friday night.
00:48:01
◼
►
We'll see all of you Sunday at three.
00:48:03
◼
►
Have a good time.
00:48:07
◼
►
Here's 20 bucks.
00:48:13
◼
►
We can pay the guy to come in.
00:48:17
◼
►
Like an open bar.
00:48:18
◼
►
We'll have like an open, an open nut.
00:48:21
◼
►
Open nut kick in the back.
00:48:24
◼
►
That's a good close.
00:48:28
◼
►
(audience laughing)
00:48:31
◼
►
- Well, should we open these or,
00:48:35
◼
►
Paul, do you want us to open these?
00:48:37
◼
►
All right, we got some gifts here.
00:48:39
◼
►
- Yes, from the wonderful people.
00:48:41
◼
►
They spelled my name right, sweet.
00:48:43
◼
►
- These are from the conference organizers.
00:48:47
◼
►
- I'm trying to predict based on prior gifts what this is.
00:48:50
◼
►
I'm guessing.
00:48:51
◼
►
- Somebody went to the bookstore today.
00:48:53
◼
►
- It's something like typography.
00:48:54
◼
►
- Draw your own file.
00:49:01
◼
►
Did you cheat?
00:49:01
◼
►
That was amazing.
00:49:04
◼
►
That was amazing.
00:49:07
◼
►
Something about zen koans.
00:49:15
◼
►
We got a ticket, too, for the lottery,
00:49:17
◼
►
which we can't actually redeem.
00:49:19
◼
►
Oh, if I win, I'm collecting it.
00:49:23
◼
►
This is-- let's see here.
00:49:26
◼
►
Oh, unmentionables from family jewels to friendly fire, what we say instead of what we mean.
00:49:36
◼
►
Pretty close.
00:49:42
◼
►
Thank you. I want to thank, everybody's been thanking Paul and Dermot. They've gotten enough thanks.
00:49:46
◼
►
I want to thank all of you because this is a very small room and it's very warm and most of you are standing
00:49:52
◼
►
And I cannot even tell you how much I appreciate
00:49:55
◼
►
your willingness to stand and listen to this.
00:49:57
◼
►
- Amazing crowd.
00:49:58
◼
►
What makes a conference, just to full circle,
00:50:01
◼
►
is the people, right?
00:50:02
◼
►
And that's what makes it.
00:50:03
◼
►
What's great about South by Way Back When
00:50:04
◼
►
is the fact that you go and you meet just people
00:50:07
◼
►
that you wanna hang out with.
00:50:07
◼
►
- And people would stand and wait for the fire marshal
00:50:09
◼
►
to be like, "You can't stand here."
00:50:10
◼
►
And we'd be like, "I'm not leaving this talk."
00:50:12
◼
►
(audience laughing)
00:50:14
◼
►
- So it's the people, right?
00:50:17
◼
►
- Thank you guys.
00:50:17
◼
►
- Nut kicker got downstairs. - Downstairs.
00:50:21
◼
►
It's 30 years.
00:50:22
◼
►
Thank you guys.